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I've had one of those days where I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. About anything.

Go to London, Catlady! Listen to (y)our Zoya. wink.gif
COCL, gooooooo to Looooooondoooooooon! Do it! You'll love it. And you'll always be able to talk about that time that you just said, "What the hell! I'll do it!" and jumped on a plane. And you'll get to meet the London Busties, to boot! Fabulous!

Confession: I would really love to jump on a plane & go to England. I really miss that country. I also really miss my father-in-law, as well as my bro- & sis-in-law. I'd like to feel closer to them, but that's hard when we live so far away from one another. Sigh.
COCL this is your conscience speaking reiterating what all others are saying, get thee on a plane and go to London!
I'm also commanding you to come here soon, because I will be gone mid march thru april and would be damn nice to meet you.

confession: it feels really good to be home around my friends and family. i really hope i can stay here for internship. it is nice to feel settled. i went to lunch with turbojenn and, i don't want to move again. i like being near my peeps. i get all misty-eyed thinking about it. sad.gif

UK busties-you will love cocl if she gets her booty out there. i mean, we hit it off pretty easily. then again, we both hail from the midwest and you all know how lovely we are from the heartland.
confession: I think there's something abnormally strong about my biological clock. It is something that's always made me feel like a "bad feminist".
From my earliest memories I have been deeply attracted to babies, and I love nurturing them. I became a nanny because of this, and now that I'm in school I volunteer part-time at a preschool for children with disabilities.
These outlets are good enough for now, but as I get older (24) my baby-craving keeps getting stronger. I go to the store and it seems like every other cart has a baby sitting in it. I have a folder of crochet patterns for infant items.

And the thing that scares me is this : Last week I had a minor pregnancy scare (which i do whenever I'm a week late) and when it turned out to be negative, deep inside I felt disappointed.
I know logically that this is not the right time for me to have a baby, so I stick with my hormonal BC. I know I'm building my life right now, but sometimes it just feels like I'm waiting.

...whew, that really was a confession
I third or fourth everyone on going to London, cocl.

Crinoline, I don't think there's anything unfeminist about loving kids and wanting to have a baby, it sounds like you already know that isn't the only option for all women, and to me, that's a major part of feminism.

Confession: I'm beginning to see why Facebook is called "crackbook." Gah, must resist checking it every ten minutes....
COCL, I agree with all of the other busties when they say take the trip. I know that I would be taking it if we Canadians were able to get deals like that on flights out of our major airports. The downfall is that we do have fewer people here and as a result less demand, making harder to get such a deal.

Crinoline, I too do not think that there is anything unfeminist about wanting children. I think what would be unfeminist is not following what you as a woman want due to some other factors (i.e. what someone else might tell you is right or just). That being said, I also emphathize with you feeling like you are emotionally ready but not in the right life position to do so.

Confession: I spent over 2hrs today in the lounge. Reading what others are doing with their working lives and spare time sometimes makes me feel like I made the wrong decision to pursue graduate studies and commit so much of my time to the world of academia. I feel stuck and yearn for my 9 to 5 days. That being said, I'll likely feel happy with my decision a few days from now once I am over this little hump.
COCL, one of the best decisions I ever made was to fly down to Guatemala on one day's notice and climb Volcan Pacaya for my birthday. You must totally do this.


I "friended" *one* chick from my elementary school on Facebook. We were pretty close friends way back, though we haven't spoken much at all since then.

Now all these other people I went to elementary school with are finding me through her.

Most of these people were cruel, unmitigated douchebags to me all the way through school (Catholic school is not the ideal situation when you get your clothes and Christmas presents from the Salvation Army.) I am just clicking away, confirming these people as friends. I want them to see my pics, my travels, the life I clawed together while they bounced off to USC and Stanford on Daddy's money. And you know what? None of them ended up doing SHIT. They're all still living in the same crap town, hanging out with the same narrow-minded people, bumbling back and forth between the walls of their teeny-tiny world.

I click "Confirm". They send the requisite "ZOMG IT'S BEEN SO LONG" message. I read their stories. I agree that yes, we should all get together soon.

And inside my head, a nine-year-old kid is shrieking FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!
I pretty much hate facebook. I got tricked into signing up, to view a college friend's wedding pictures. That was all I wanted to see. She sent my a special invent or whateva. At the time, I had no idea what facebook was. Fast forward to a couple of months ago, when I completely stopped signing onto facebook. I just cannot do it. All the posts are boring. I do not care what you or you or you or you, oh and you, are doing every five minutes. Don't send me lame surveys, I won't do them. I like seeing some of my college friends stuff but everyone else, not so much. Myspace and facebook are like reality t.v. except it's on the net. Vapid. I will now descend back to my misanthropic hole in the ground from which I came.
I don't really like facebook either. The only thing I use it for is to look at pictures that my friends and brother post. I still post pictures too, but I don't use it for anything else.
"oh catlady, join facebook!"

"oh catlady, go to london!"

if a BUSTie told me to jump off a bridge, would i do it?

yes. yes i would tongue.gif

booking tomorrow.
hah! Wait, does that mean you joined FB, too?

Up until a few days ago, I thought the internet abbreviation FTW stood for Fuck The World. And when I did find out what it really stood for, I was totally disappointed. So I'll go back and use my original abbreviation.
I "friended" a girl I slept with a bunch of years back on facebook today and ended up talking to her for a while via the IM (I NEVER IM) and she made me blush, a bunch of times.

I too know I am not in the right place right now, but hopelessly want a child. It makes me feel so... normal... whatever that means. At least I still don't crave chocolate or wear makeup. I feel like I better get to it before I hit 30, but really 30 isn't too late and neither is 35 or maybe even 40. Ulg, I'm a hormones nightmare.

Oh and I am also an asshole to my dog and haven't gotten her spayed, so she went into heat last night. I felt so bad, I wouldn't let her sit in her favorite spots for an hour until I finally decided to make her a little doggie diaper. I was going to get it done next week, now I have to wait 2-4 weeks until it's over sad.gif
COCL, when are you coming to London?

*does the snoopy dance*
I confess that I am deliberately doing as little work as possible so that they'll make me redundant - I was planning to leave anyway, so I might as well be paid to do so!
There's absolutely nothing un-feminist about wanting to have a baby. Nothing at all. And there are tons of feminist mommas on Bust who can prove it! smile.gif

To be honest, I'm a bit envious of those of you who want to have kids right now. I have endometriosis, I'm entering my mid-30s & my husband is almost 40. Time is definitely running out for us. On one level we know we would like to have a family, but we feel no urge to have a baby. I really wish I did but I don't know how to change this. Even adoption may not be an option for long. Some of our friends wanted to adopt but were turned down by a state agency & one of the major reasons was because they're both over 40. They finally found a group that will allow them to adopt a child from Ethiopia, but they've had to do so much work towards it. And I just don't feel a strong enough urge to pursue that. And if the urge/need isn't there, then I shouldn't really do it in the first place. BUT. I don't want to be childless. I want us to have our own family ... someday. But when?

It's quite a conundrum.
(((rose))) wow. i didn't hear of people being turned down to adopt a child because they were over 40. that's terrible.
I heard that China turns down people who are overweight because they aren't considered healthy enough to care (and live long enough) for the child. Maybe turbo can confirm or deny that.

Yet there are hundreds of thousands of children in orphanages in China; if the adopting party is willing to provide a child with a happy home then it shouldn't matter what age or weight they are.
Christine Nectarine
(continuing OT)
yeah, i heard that since it became so popular to adopt from China, they started becoming very particular about whom they allow to adopt - you must be a straight, married couple, of a certain income level/age/health etc...
since then other countries (like ethiopia) have become more popular, as people find the process too arduous and expensive!

maybe i should confess something to get back to the thread...

i often wish my birth control would fail too. we already have one kiddo of course, and it feels like we have just got our lives back on track (i was 20 when she was born, A was 19, it was TOTALLY unplanned) but i would love to have another baby. it's not practical for so many reasons, plus A does not want any more. i would never "trick" him into it, but if it were to just happen...
our bff's brother & wife adopted from china in the last year.. right before they really tightened up on their laws.
apparently, possibly in addition to the age/weight restrictions, they are also barring anyone w/ a known mental illness.

confession: despite all the ups & downs the mr & I have, we can really wallop a punch when it comes to a kiss.
I just got one that nearly took my socks off. biggrin.gif

rv: your heart will tell when it's the right time for you.
and, you don't have to be The' Mother to be A Mom; there are a lot of ways for you to nurture and love a child without being being biologically or legally related to them. (I'm thinking the Boys/Girl's Club right off the top of my head but am sure there are dozens of other ideas too.)

think of the different friends of frecklette's & other assorted strays I've mama'd (& gotten so attatched to) over the years & written about here; I really believe it's about opening your heart Period.

I am totally content w/ having frecklette & the fur babies, trusting now that I have the love to give, even if only temporarily, with whomever needs it that's put in my path.
Some random person added me as a friend on myspace YEARS ago (when I used it); he seemed normal and was one of girlbomb's friends/fans so I accepted the request, rather than be rude. Anyway, we even conversed by PM a few times.

Anyway, I was watching American Idol and he was on it! (I verified by looking at his page) He was the dude from Kentucky that did whatever it is he did with Chinese characters and drank from Paula's cup using her straw. The boy and I were very amused and it reiterated that I have an uncanny memory for faces and names, at times.

I know one of the rejects from American Idol. Woot!.
I lurk on this board way too much. And post way too little.
I know one of the rejects from American Idol. Woot!.

my friend and i are magnets for the rejects. we saw scott "wifebeater" sabol at the cheesecake factory, and we also saw corey clark (the dude who said paula abdul was sexually harassing him) on a plane to las vegas. he was macking on the flight attendant.

QUOTE(likeanyother @ Jan 23 2009, 06:05 PM) *
I lurk on this board way too much. And post way too little.

Join us! Come to the dark side. You know you wanna.
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Jan 23 2009, 06:34 PM) *
Join us! Come to the dark side. You know you wanna.

We have pie!
I am so uninterested in doing laundry that I bought new underwear today. At CVS. It is suprisingly omfortable.
I've always wanted to do that kittenvb- good for you!
go out & buy New stuff rather than wash anything dirty.

confession: the most ambitious thing I did today (after sleeping til almost 1:30 pm) was to shower & dash to the drive for the paper.
I've bought underwear instead of doing laundry too. There was an American Apparel store within walking distance from my apartment and I went there. So yeah, I had enough ambition to walk five blocks and go shopping, but not enough to haul my dirty clothes two blocks to the laundromat.

Freckle, that sounded like me on Friday, minus getting the paper.
I also have bought underwear instead of doing laundry - especially during my college days. I've also bought shirts & trousers rather than do laundry. Gotta love Target!
confession: I love the actress Betty White from the G Girls,; loved her sooo much as the sweet loopy Grama-type she played.. she & the girls got me through a lot of lonely days & nights in Panama while I was pregnant & sick w/ frecklette, but I don't like the characters she plays now. foul mouth & nasty?
just wrong to me, even though I know in real life she's Not Rose Nyland & I'm totally type-casting her.
she's going to be on another nighttime sitcom & I probably won't watch it bc if she's crass it'll just make me sad again.
2nd confession of the day: I just ordered 2 pairs of shoes from Teva and am quite giddy -- one pair is red!
they were both on clearance & cheap! (which Teva's usually aren't)

I <3 shoes.
I confess, the TV's on the treadmill at my gym are just the right height that I can see the reflection of my face perfectly in them...and I find it really easy to push myself harder when I'm staring at myself looking so hot while I work out. tongue.gif
confession: every time i hear them talking about blagoiavich i have a pavlovian urge to yell BLAGO! as if he was norm walking into cheers. the more i see him the more he reminds me of pre-steroids wayne newton.... and i love pre steroids wayne newton. A LOT.


confession:i'm depressed again. i'm thinking about seeing a shrink but i probably won't. people i've talked to about this think i don't out of some sort of pride. it's not that, it's just my first experience with one was extremely, extremely hurtful. i still carry those emotional scars. since then i've had good experiences but none strong enough to heal the first.
Confession: Bear and I were out at one of our hangouts and the plumber showed up...with her new boyfriend. They seem totally in love. I had a pretty intense jealous moment. I think I am a little infatuated with her.
anna k
ketto, that's cool. I kept checking myself out in the mirror during my gym class tonight and thought I looked cute.


confession: i'm feeling extreme guilt for jerking around guys in my life, past present and future.
confession: that confession makes me feel really exposed.
confession: my underwear was bothering me today at work, so i took them off and threw them away.
confession: now i *really* feel exposed, literally and metaphorically. tongue.gif
confession: my underwear was bothering me today at work, so i took them off and threw them away.
confession: now i *really* feel exposed, literally and metaphorically.

Well, you could always run to CVS and buy some. Just a thought. smile.gif
confession: i am thinking about going on a lunch date with a guy who put an ad on craigslist for a transexual, eating the meal, being very gregarious, and then when he asks to see me again, telling him flatly, no, thank you. you never had a chance. i just wanted to know what kind of douche bag would put the phrase "must have tits." in his ad. now that i know, i'm going to go take a shower. thanks for the meal. oh...... and fuck you.

confession:i thought i might like dating boys, but with out fail, if they are interested in t-girls, they suck. in the bedroom i am down for all kinds of kink, objectification, humiliation etc, but goddamn it, when we are away from that you had better give me my goddamn propers. r-e-s-p-e-c-t. take care of t.c.b., asshole.

confession: i finally watched "anatomy in hell" the netflix movie i've had for more than 9 months. it was interesting, but not $90 worth of interesting.

confession:the netflix site is my crackbook. i could stay on that site surfing movies not just for hours, not just for days, but for weeks.

confession: i have the biggest crush on kitten b and bunny b today. they are keeping me in stitches. xoxoxo ladies. thank you for making me giggle.
confession: i have the biggest crush on kitten b and bunny b today. they are keeping me in stitches. xoxoxo ladies. thank you for making me giggle.

wub.gif *giggle**blush*
I have a to perform a show on monday. it isn't written.
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Jan 28 2009, 02:09 AM) *
confession: i have the biggest crush on kitten b and bunny b today. they are keeping me in stitches. xoxoxo ladies. thank you for making me giggle.


Just repaying many a favour.
confession: Until recently, I trusted not one single person in this world but myself. For a long time, I didn't even trust myself.

confession: My trust issues are so messed up that I somehow managed to avoid genuinely committing to a partner during the first 40 years of my life.

confession: I'm 40 now. And my trust is still pretty messed up. But I'm contemplating trusting my current partner enough to make the leap of commitment at some point in the near future.

confession: I am scared shitless of having my trust blown. Again.
confession: at the health food store I bought glueten-free chocolate chip cookies for frecklette, and free-range chicken broth.. for my puppies rolleyes.gif .
Confession: I am so sick & tired of being ill. I will do whatever it takes to get better even if it means turning my life upside down. As cod is my witness, I will NOT go back to hospital again. This was my third time since June; I now have a permanent scar atop my right hand where they jack me into the IV. The nurses all know me by name. NO MORE!

Confession: I engaged in a heretofor unforseen amount of retail therapy yesterday because I'm all depressed about my state. I went seriously ba-na-na-s. Like, I am single-handedly stimulating the American economy BANANAS. I'm just waiting for the credit card company to call & inquire about the recent uptick in transactions.

confession: Pretty much my whole circle of friends will be at a bar tonight, celebrating our friend J's birthday. I really want to go, and most of them came to my birthday and other parties I've had, so I really should go. However, I'm considering not going because I'm about 99% certain that R will be there, and I'm just not ready to run into him. I'm afraid of alienating myself from my friends, but I just don't think I can deal. It's easier to just hide.

Is there any friend that you can trust to do a bit of recon and send you a sneaky text?
Christine Nectarine
i'm feeling seriously burnt out at my job, and i've only been at it for 3 months. its not even that hard. and i should be so grateful for being gainfully employed! i’m just not motivated to be here, and it’s too emotionally draining to do without a drive to be here.

I bawled uncontrollably today when my boyfriend found out his best friend was diagnosed with lupus. The thing is, I've only met her once so it wasn't like it was freaking out becasue my bff was diagnosed with it. Part of me is crying for him and his sadness and for her and how afraid she must feel. But what I've realized is that part of it is my own fear of that disease. See, her mom died from complications due to lupus... just like MY mom did. I've been told by doctors that lupus isn't hereditary, but have since read that research shows there may be genetic factors. And she is like the 3rd person I know of who has been diagnosed, just as their mothers were.

This terrifies the fuck out of me.
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