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confession: freckle, it's 1:45 here and I'm not dressed either. I worked from home today because I didn't feel like leaving my house.
I finally feel free. I laid my cards on the table in an e-mail. No more bs ever again!
i confess that i discovered that one of my coworkers has a bunch of chick-lit books audiobooks on her itunes (we share everything on an inter-office network). in the past three days i have blown through "bergdorf blondes" (almost but not quite self-deprecating enough to be worth anything), "the nanny diaries" (deeply depressing), and am halfway through a horrid little number called "chasing harry winston" (vapid, superficial, and incredibly annoying). I. AM. HOOKED. hooked, people! it's disgusting! i feel horrible both during and after BUT I CAN'T STOP.
My boss is away and I have been looking up people on facebook for over 2 hours. Somebody stop me.
My aunt just cut me a cheque for £500 and I know I've done nothing to earn it.
I wish that I fancied my best friend so that life could be easy and we could just be together because I hate being single so damn much.
EVERY time I think I'm being rejected by someone the VERY first thing I think is "Stop eating"
I should be doing college work but I've literally done seconds of it!
I hate that I can't talk to anyone but HIM about my manic days.
I hate that I want to spend all my money on trying to thrill myself on my manic days.
I wish to be pretty. I wish I to be special
I wish to be something, *anything*
Your lover, your broken heart is my broken heart
I wish to NOT BE ME, as hard as you love me
I wish to be worthy of another's love.
I wish this ring on my finger to actually mean something other than ownership
I want to be one with you. You're so beautiful, so great, so strong, so awesome, so amazing so so so so so so . . .
QUOTE(crinoline @ Sep 8 2008, 01:01 PM) *
I feel like I'm getting old and I do want to get married. (I'm 23) My parents married at 18, and I'm the oldest woman in my family to still be single. I know it doesn't make sense, but that's how I feel. Like time is running out.

i'm 28 and it seems everyone around me wonders what's wrong with me simply because i'm not married yet. iam engaged but quite honestly that doesn't really mean much (to society) you gotta learn to just turn the cheek and be happy despite it all
today i am ditching school and going shopping, or maybe i will get a rad pedicure, go all out with the paraffin and everything . i never do things for myself anymore........
I confess I just ordered $50** worth of books from amazon thanks to my club Tar'get card bc I'm still not getting out of the house hardly & not 'pushing myself to go out' as my shrink said I should.
most of what I ordered is tripe.

I confess that I have serious reservations about the mr's return next month now.. I like my tiny quiet little world where I only go out when absolutely neccessary.

I am a terrible person for saying that.
i watch those horrible time-life infomercials taking mental notes so i can hunt down records when i go thrifting....

i just discovered that there are parkour classes in seattle. i wanna go cos it would be something to get back in shape and replace skateboarding, but i think i might make an ass out of myself. i feel old...ugh.

i have a crush on my best friend.

everyone seems to like my hair short, but i miss long hair.

QUOTE(girltrouble @ Sep 12 2008, 02:26 AM) *
[color=#ff0066]i watch those horrible time-life infomercials taking mental notes so i can hunt down records when i go thrifting....

I've watched them and downloaded all of the collections in full.
um... eileen.... you are SO my hero! i wanna grow up to be just like you! lol

i was drunk last night and put a bunch of dried food (like a box of triskets) in the fridge, and left perishables on the kitchen counter...

i giggle when they talk about 'tainted baby formula' heh.... they said 'taint'.

i am jealous of the busties who post in the drunk rambling thread. i never have anything to say when i am drunk. hmph.

there are some busties that i was emailing/pming daily before the shit hit the fan in my life two weeks ago. i want to get back to that, but i really don't want to navel gaze more now. but i miss those busties sumpm awful. i just don't want to write too much right now. i suck.
GT, you should totally learn parkour, and then come here and teach me how! I would love to learn it. I know a few people who do it here through friends of friends but not well enough to learn from them.
QUOTE(.eilleen. @ Sep 12 2008, 05:07 PM) *
I've watched them and downloaded all of the collections in full.

I do that too on itunes.
I miss living in a large city. I miss sushi, Thai food, vegetarian options for dining, and record stores with lots of variety. I am going to see some live music in the Twin Cities next week--another thing I miss, live music that isn't a cover band--and I think I'm looking forward to shopping at Trader Joe's and eating an avocado roll as much as I am to that.

I sometimes feel a little silly wanting some of that; this area rather nice and I like parts of it, but I miss having more than one restaurant for dining, live music and other things that are rather scarce up here. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder who replaced the girl who grew up here with someone who acquired all these tastes, but then I wonder if that person was under the surface, lurking all those years ago.
GT, you should totally learn parkour, and then come here and teach me how! I would love to learn it. I know a few people who do it here through friends of friends but not well enough to learn from them.
there is a pretty cool site in your area with maps and youtube movies of local landmarks and area. it's pretty cool. the website is here: winnipeg parkour
they had a forum, but it's not as good. there's 8 people on a waiting list if there are any parkour meetups on

i think if you emailed the people on,
the'd probably jump (ha ha) at the chance to teach classes. that's why they do it here. you teach people it spreads. you don't it dies.

i think i might have to try the parkour classes even with my ol' lady cane. just cos some of the best, well known people are in the area. i'm kind of shocked, because i see long boarders constantly, free runners? never. they might be in the university district, tho. i'm in the heart of the city. i practically live downtown.

but it looks like fun. i think i want to get into the free running, more acrobatic part of it, even in my advanced age. it's just so beautiful. you know who'd probably really get into it? culture.

hmmmm. we should talk her into it ej wink.gif
Oh, I would love to get into free runnning; it's fascinated me from the first time I read about it years ago. Its premise as well as the workout just really chimes with me.
you know what'd be cool? free runnin' busties! that'd be reeeeeeal cool!
Oh my cod, I had no idea that site existed. Thanks gt! That's awesome.
I've been craving Dim Sum for ages now.

The problem is how much I gorge on Dim Sum.
omg culture, I've been craving dim sum like a motherfucker. must. have. some. soon.
I just had some very delicious pumpkin pie. Mmm.

omg, i had dim sum on saturday! for the first time in over a year. it was HEAVENLY.
i had dim sum for the first time this year, with my mom, we got some chicken dumplings, it was kinda greasy, but delicious. i saw a lot of carby looking things, but i don't like pastries and what nots that much.

my mom is so ghetto, but i love her. and she is so friendly with people, she doesn't judge people, she talks to everyone, and makes friends easily from all walks of life.

my boyfriend is drunk right now. eta: he is loving the gossip and pj harvey like never before.
oh i love dimsum! i have one of the best (cheapest with lots of shrimp dishes), dim sum places across the street from my apartment. (i live in chinatown) i think it's one of the reasons i don't want want to move... well that, and every bar in my hood sees my face and they start making mai thais...

i actually tried chicken's feet for the first time about 2 weeks ago.... it wasn't bad.
I've had cow tongue before, it was in taco's and very very tasty.

At least the whole cow is getting used.
oh yeah. tongue is very good. my grandma used to make it. it's very tender and, ironically, flavorful. you should try cabasa, or brains in a burrito. it's super yummy, but DON'T reheat it for leftovers.... i tried it reheated once. never again. two words: lunch launch.

there is a food movement up here that is all about using the whole animal. it's kind of interesting. seattle is really food trendy right now in an ecological sort of way-- there is also a move to use local, sustainable food sources that take less energy from field to the table too. raw foods, indigenous foods both have small movements as well
Bwahahahahahaha. Lunch launch. I like that.

confession: I am jealous of GT's very clever word usage. seriously.
confession: I am very seriously thinking of removing my vertical labret for the first time since I got it almost 4 years ago. This makes me kind of sad. I think I'll keep it for a month or two more at least but I have a feeling the time has almost come to retire it. sad.gif For some reason it's feeling like a major life decision.

Also, my parents come home tomorrow from their trip. After having them away for a month I don't think I can stand living with them much longer. I'm secretly starting to check out my finances and I'm stalking the website.
ej, it sounds like you are kinda getting ready for some changes in your life. it's a good thing. what with the looking at new places to live (i'm assuming that's what is). i think it's kinda cool that you're thinking about these things...
It is a good thing and I feel good about it but I wish I could move things along a little faster. The mls is the real estate site because I'm looking to buy rather then rent. Financially I'm sound to make the investment (no debt, nearly perfect credit, RRSP's, permament position) but my job still isn't full time so I'm not making enough per month right now to survive. The wheels are turning though...The government of Canada puts out this great workbook called "First Time Home Buyer Step-By-Step Guide" that really walks you through all the steps and has all these worksheets and tells you exactly what the process is.

My other confession, GT, is that you totally have me thinking a lot more about parkour. biggrin.gif
confession: tho the mr won't be home for several more weeks yet (don't actually even know quite exactly)
I booked the reunion (late, during the 1st holiday) hotel w/a whirlpool for us for a short get-away! Hellllllo Mr & Helllllllllo Mr Bubble!! wink.gif

confession tho this is probably a sin really: I am planning on most likely buying an suv in the future.
we need the space- really!
confession: i am HAPPY!

...and i don't want it to end.
ej: sheesh, it's been 4 yrs now since I removed my labret *sigh* dry.gif but good luck with everything, sounds like you're moving in a forward direction wink.gif

now confession: *to myself*: you're spending way too much time on the internet/yourass. Let's get it together soon. Is this how studying gets done? skills practiced? books read? comics doodled? no. it isn't. You're spending way too much time online. I wonder how to limit you on this.
I spend way too much time online too. It isn't that there isn't other stuff to do, but if I sit down in front of my computer, I end up doing very little else.

Confession: I really want to create art again.

When I was younger, I painted, drew and did photography. As the years went by, I gave up the first two, but I still remained interested in photography. Now I want to try painting again.

I'm out of practice, though, have almost no supplies, and have no inspiration. All I want to do is swirl paint around on a canvas, see what happens.

Also, I'm afraid of creating something that isn't any good, or will create something that looks like I could have produced it twelve years ago in terms of themes and colors. I'm also a little worried that this means I'm regressing back to being a less mature person, or that my mental state is taking a turn for the worse, because I haven't had the urge to create anything for years, unless it was an image imprinted on film or a craft project.

Or, it could be that I repressed it all these years and now it's reemerging because I'm in a position where I am free to express it, I'm not sure.
confession: loss of confidence is a bitch. how did i get in this situation? do i really suck that bad? it is hard to listen to the good things happening to other colleagues and to NOT feel jealous and envious.
Count me in on the spending too much time online. Case in point: I should be packing my life up as we speak as I am moving to a new city next weekend but instead I am procrastinating online. I also have errands to run and things to freak out about.

I own too many books; there, I said it. I need to whittle them down as I'm only taking a few boxes with me for the time-being but doing that is proving incredibly difficult.

I want to cry, I'm so stressed.
lilac, start drawing and painting again. don't worry about it being something meaningful-- you don't need to be trying to get in to the lourve, make it about you, what makes you happy, not what you are trying to say, if it's going to be good product or anything else. make it about exploring, playing and having fun. that's when painting is the best-- when it's about just trying something to see if it works for you. so swirl that paint, and if you don't like what comes out? even better! you get to start over and see what happens the next time. remember this is about you playing!

--add me to the too-much-time-online list.

i want to move....really really bad.
i love my hood, but i feel like i'm just so very stagnant. you've got books, bunny, fuck i've got records. practically a closet filled top to bottom with them, and more. i've been in seattle for 10+ years and i want out. i want to start over. i never thought i'd be here this long. and as much as i treasure my friends still here, sour is seeping in at the corners. it's time to saddle up, and i am afraid of losing the first family i've had in 10 years.

gt and bunnyb, i feel the same way about the cds and books i have. i want to just own the essentials. basically just enough stuff to fit in my car. blah.
confession: the girl who's husband was in the bad motorcycle wreck called just now & I screened;
of course she left me a message, but she sounded so.. down. damnit.
but I'm not calling her back. I have enough of my own w/out needing more.

confession: that makes me wonder if I've lost most of my compassion and empathy for others that I can be so cold?

gt: where are you thinking about moving to?
I've heard the east coast can be quite nice... biggrin.gif
Chicago's quite lovely, too, gt! *elbow nudge to the ribs*
freckle, remember that woman was not a healthy 'energy' in your life. you decided to push her out of your life before the accident. unless you really, really think she's changed....

i've only spend half a day in chicagoland. interesting. and i could hang out with busties, very cool busties, i might add. lol... i'd probably mellow me in the lounge and i think we all know that'd be a very good thing. it'd be a huge step, but maybe that's what i need.

east coast might be nice. i miss the energy of nyc, but i think i'm to old to live there now. that's a young woman's sport. wink.gif

the election thing has got me thinking canada, the only other country i've visited. maybe vancouver (seattle north?) or maybe somewhere else north.... hmmmmmm....

right now i've got a terrific love of lower/working class life, so perhaps i should call tree and we should live out our flashdance fantasy...oooooo. shiny! but maybe i need contrast-- maybe it's time for a bit of sophistication....

which makes me think of sf, or "the yay area", but rudder i've lived in the bay, and in the words of common (sense) "i used to love H.E.R."

i'm kind of at mid to late transitional 20's... perhaps i need more growing up. switching gender is like hitting the life reset button back to your adolescence, which is what i blame my immature stupidity around here on. (yes, lol.... i am sooooo admitting it.)

i need something new... but i do miss the dressing up of "'frisco" *snicker* but i like the "east coast swing" to borrow some bell, biv, divoe.... and stateside things are poop. i need a canadian city with a little bit of working class style and welding work, some dress up old culture (read:not overrun with condos and a cool kitch/art scene)....

or whichever comes closest.....


well, see, gt, that's what makes chicago such a great option. we are the city that works hard. now, that phrase can be interpreted in a number of ways. alot of business is booming in this city. there is the potential for the olympics in 2016. you want working class city...dood, chicago is the epitome of working class city. we are extremely down to earth without pretension.

and if that is enough for you, we have a mayor who called our gov cookoo. come on! now that is class wink.gif
GT, I've always felt you were a quintessential Willy Street girl, myself, if you could stand a "smaller" city. Open minded, everybody is cool is a TRUE melting pot-gay, straight, queer, black, white, asian, hispanic, and everything in between. Very progressive politics. And the neighborhood is almost all composed of old Victorian houses. It's the uber desirable neighborhood around here. I wish I lived down there.
I agree w/ stargazer & polly gt, chicago Rocks Socks (tho not the White ones - Go Cubbies!!!! biggrin.gif )
really, it's very, I don't even know how to describe it, homey in its own way. almost organic.
and plus if you moved there, we'd have the best chance of actually meeting face to face someday if ever I can leave here (ha) to visit all my fam there.

confession: I pick at my scabs til they scar.
I've stopped missing Bubbles. I am in fact glad it's gone because it keeps the redneck away.
for all you list lovin' busties!!!

The List Universe.
Thanks, culture. Now I'll never get anything done. laugh.gif

I'm skipping a visit to my aunt for sushi and window shopping. I feel like such a bitch.
Ahhh the joys of it. When there is nothing to do at work, there is nothing to do at work.
confession: I am obsessed- wacko.gifB-SESSED I Say, with online car shopping after discovering you can Buy CARS through overstockdotcom too. CARS!
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