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QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Jul 22 2008, 11:30 AM) *
cod knows what else. unsure.gif

for me it was, "Hello PMS!!! Oh, how I and Mr. Pugs have not missed you over the years."

Glad, I'm off BC. I don't like taking pills and all the side effects.
UI'm getting in on the craft and art skilled bustie envy and those with hobbies.
I discovered that I don't like hobbies that result in me having some extra object sitting around the house. I used to knit & crochet, then I ended up with all this knittted shit everywhere. Same with embroidery & stained glass & all the other crafty hobbies. I don't want to deal with the clutter, so I don't do them anymore. I think that's why I enjoyed acting in plays. I would do the play and then it would be over. No extra clutter. It's also why I like cooking. I can spend that time and energy making something, but then people eat it and it's gone. And then I can start all over again.

Maybe my next hobby should be making elaborate sand castles. If I didn't sunburn so easily, I could totally get into that.

Confession: I am very sensitive to the news. Sometimes I get obsessed with it. I started to feel myself getting obsessed with all of the nightmarish talk about the economy - foreclosures, bank failures, increasing gas and food prices - and I was watching it too much. So I've stopped. I'm totally out of touch with what is happening in the big wide world. I haven't even been watching The Daily Show. My head is firmly, calmly, happily buried in the sand.
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Jul 22 2008, 12:31 PM) *
Confession: I am very sensitive to the news. Sometimes I get obsessed with it. I started to feel myself getting obsessed with all of the nightmarish talk about the economy - foreclosures, bank failures, increasing gas and food prices - and I was watching it too much. So I've stopped. I'm totally out of touch with what is happening in the big wide world. I haven't even been watching The Daily Show. My head is firmly, calmly, happily buried in the sand.

Same here. I never know what's going on. I don't have cable, don't read about the news or listen to it on the radio. That is...until recently. I've been listening to the BBC and NPR radio for three weeks while driving in my car. I'm scared out of my mind now. I'm afraid we are going to loose our house even though we have six months worth of mortgage payments saved in the bank. I need to stop again. Must rejoin Roseviolet in the sand.

Confession: I just almost killed all the interns on the way back from lunch. I wasn't paying attention and almost pulled out in front of a truck. Totally my fault and very embarrassing. Good job Pugs!!
I go through cycles where I can handle listening to NPR and other news sources, then I reach a point where I can't take it anymore and then stick my head in the sand for several weeks. Right now, I am able to take it, but I know I'll have to take a break soon, especially if I don't find a job.

I discovered that I don't like hobbies that result in me having some extra object sitting around the house. I used to knit & crochet, then I ended up with all this knittted shit everywhere. Same with embroidery & stained glass & all the other crafty hobbies. I don't want to deal with the clutter, so I don't do them anymore.

That's actually one of the problems I have with crocheting or any other craft project--what am I going to do with this when I'm done? This is one of the reasons why, even though I like making things, I don't do it very often, and I'm very picky about what I make. I have very limited space and don't really need any more things in it. Almost all the other people in my family make crafts, so nobody is hurting for afghans or shit like that, and I'm too self-conscious to give my stuff to friends. I sometimes think that maybe I should start making blankets for charity or maybe sell some of it.

Confession: I'm having to bribe myself to get anything productive done. Yesterday it was with downloaded episodes of Mad Men, today it's coffee from my favorite coffee house. I feel like a little kid.

I'm also on the verge of buying a french press because my mom's coffee sucks, I don't have my own coffee maker and I'm too lazy to use hers. Well, maybe I just want an excuse to buy one...
oh god, rosey, i'm news obsessed, but well, the two things you talk about in your post are a double whammy with me-- i'm 3rd generation artist, and drawing and painting are not just my hobby they are my coping mechanism, and while i love the stuff i make, i've got a huge book case of drawing reference books, art books, comics, magazines, zines, that i use pretty regularly, so i can't throw them out. i have my art supplies, canvases, etc gotta have that, and now i'm getting into paper sculpture and i got paper scraps, industrial art so i've got metal boxes and metal thing-a-ma-jiggs that i've ingraved with my drawings, and the whammy is, like most of my art friends, we need background noise to work-- so i have npr or air america or something constantly on in the background, because if my mind isn't engaged, i can't be creative.

so even when listening to the news makes me sick, when i draw, paint or anything else, on it goes....


ch, thank your lucky stars you don't have a craft, hobby or art. blech.
hobbies are poop! avoid them at all cost!

i long for the days when i arrived in this city and lived out of a small suitcase for a year.
i soooooooo want to bury my head, but i cannot. i'd take the red pill... always.
I hate my job so much that if the building burned down, I'd roll around in the ashes, naked and laugh, and be happier than a pig in poop.
i want freedom. i always have.

i want nothing. all of it. i'll twirl in it. i'll stretch as far as i want into nothing. into freedom.
Every day I am amazed at Mrs. Rouge's capacity to love me.
I just about tore my office apart looking for spare change to get a can of Coke Zero. I even looked under the vending machine. Not my proudest moment.
I'm feeling depressed about everything in my life right now, even though I know it isn't that bad and it could be worse.

I'm also on the verge of buying some camping equipment I can't afford just so I can go live in the woods for a week, but I'm worried that I'll miss out on some job opportunity if I do that.

I feel pathetic for thinking like that.
confession: I drank alone this afternoon - at 5:30 pm! (to me that's really heinously bad, like scandelous or something)
frecklette was out of the house & I was feeling good and thought ' what the hell !'
I am not sorry & plan to do it again.
(I also did something else but am much too much of a lady to confess that! rolleyes.gif )
I am thinking of starting to drink and it's 7:38 in the morning. This is how I feel about my job. It certainly would make things more entertaining.
my legs are extreamly sore from all the portions i had this weekend. however, i'm not taking any advil for it because secretly i like it. makes me remember how much fun Mr. Pugs and i had this weekend.

the woman sitting next to me is pissing me off because she's playing loud freaking music at her desk that i don't like.
when someone tells me something really bad has happened to them (like Soc Services got called on a friend of mine totally bogusly, or a neighbor came over & asked if we'd seen anything bc their mailbox got hit & smashed this morning) I feel like I react guiltily, like I was lieing about having no knowledge about it or having done it myself.
I don't know why I respond that way, unless it's some sort of twisted karma guilt for things I Have done before?

while I know I have a long way to go, my therapy Is making a difference & I am gaining ground. smile.gif

side note to that: I said something in therapy today that I think I wish I hadn't.
after visiting my parents, who are rapidly getting a lot older (my dad is 80) and seeing my nieces and nephews, who I get to see once every 6 months, if not longer - it's kind of got me thinking about moving back to my home town (or at least state) to be near them. I'm afraid that I might not be happy if I moved back, but at the same time, I feel like if I lost one of my parents - especially my dad - I'd be soo bummed that I didn't make it more of a priority to spend time with them in the last 10 years. and losing one of them at any time, given their ages, is totally realistic. It's kind of a scary thought, considering my home town is on a different continent, 5000 miles away, and I wanted to come here to live soo bad. Maybe I'm just homesick after visiting. Maybe it's made me realize something bigger than myself. I dunno.

i just got an email from my ex, who, i still think was the great love of my life. she said that she is breaking up with her bf. a huge part of me feels really bad, terribly guilty, because something i did, that i didn't intend to hurt them did, and in part, sowed the seeds for their break up. i never thought what i did would hurt them, get back to them, or anything like it. but i feel really shitty for having any little part in their break up, even though i didn't mean to, but i have to admit there is a tiny part of me that was happy when i read that. it makes me feel even shittier.
GT, I don't know what you did but I don't think you should feel guilty for the breakdown of someone else's relationship. You may have set something off between them, but the chances are if they broke up due to whatever it was, they were probably going to eventually anyway.
thank you, for you kindness ej, and ordinarily i might think that was the case. and i would probably think anyone saying this had a big head about the whole thing. but the thing i did in the first few months they were together, created a rift in their relationship that they were never quite able to mend. i'm not saying it was the sole cause, but it was certainly a huge contributor, and set things in motion that couldn't be undone. no, she won't say it, but other things she has said, make it very clear to me. i guess the thing that bugs me is that she taught me so much about personal integrity, and made me want to be so much better than i was. it just sickens me to think i've done her any harm. he was a terrific guy, and really got her. whether i like it or not, i had a hand in fucking it up.

Whether whatever you did was directly or indirectly the cause of their breaking up, gt, you did not intend this; if you had set out to break them up then, yes, it would have been a shitty thing to do but the fact that you're even posting this as a confession goes to show that there is not an ounce of malice in what you did. Unfortunately shit happens and I know you feel responsible but sometimes things are just not meant to be and maybe, in the long-run, this will actually work out for the best for your ex and she will meet someone who gets her even more.

(((zoya))) give me a call when you can; we have some catching up to do.
thanks bunny. you're all heart.
I wasn't sure where else to post this, so I thought maybe this is the right thread. Can I just get a Woop Woop! because my Cultural Anthropology class got cancelled tonight and I don't have to sit through 3.5 hours of lecture? Yeehah! Not that I mind my Cultural Anthro class; it's one of the best classes I'm taking this summer, and I generally like the teacher (which is saying a lot for this crappy community college, as they usually employ awful teachers). But it couldn't have come at a better time. Yesterday was my 12-hour day at school, so I didn't get home until 10 p.m., and then I was up e-mailing the long distance boy until nearly midnight, so I didn't get to sleep until about 1 a.m. And then up at 6 a.m. this morning to make it to my 9 a.m. class, and by the time I got home at 12:30, I was beyond tired, one of those things where I can't stop my brain from spinning, things about the boy floating in & out, school, work, upcoming tests, etc. I tried to take a nap, but I just couldn't get out of my head enough to fall asleep. So I put on a relaxation CD and that finally did it. Only to wake up with half an hour to get to class, but thankfully I checked my e-mail before going and got the message that class was cancelled. So now I can stay home and relax, which is exactly what I need right now. Ahhhh.
confession: I really hate doing yardwork.
I love my house, but each week when I have no choice but to get out there w/ manual weed trimmers and the continual *fight* w/ the mower, I curse it more & more. the yard always looks like a inebrieated visually impaired person cut it when I am done.
I wanna live in a nice climate-controlled, no outdoor mainance Condo or Townhouse.

confession: even though I don't do much, I still feel overwhelmed sometimes.
I drink too much. more than I'm comfortable with, anyway. I live in a culture that drinks a lot, and what I do for a living lends itself to a social scene that partakes in quite a bit of drinking, so that makes it even more difficult to lower the intake. I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable with it.
I drink too much, too. And really, I have no legitimate reason. "My mother was an addict, it runs in my family, dramadramadrama, blahblahblah." Whatever. I *like* drinking. I always have, I suspect I always will.

The fresh, crisp sound of a cap being pried from a bottle of cold beer; the hint of mist at the rim of amber glass. Running your tongue over the rough crystals of salt after taking that first tart taste of lime & tequila. The lover's caress of a full bodied red as it splashes across the palate. Champagne sparking & bubbling through the senses, making any day feel festive. And whisky . . . dark, smoky, caramel. Rich like warm leather & just as smooth . . .

I kinda sat down & did the math recently & realized exactly how much I'd been drinking. I was not proud of myself. So I laid off for a while. But as soon as I was home, I was right back into that drinking culture. I monitored my consumption & didn't get drunk. Everybody else, however, was balls to the wall hammered. EVERYBODY. I'm still not exactly sure how I feel about that. Or what it says about me.

And then I sat down & thought about all of the people that I admire most in this world & discovered that almost all of them had some sort of struggle or another with addiction, most commonly alcohol. Which started up a whole other round of examination about pain, struggle, & self-medication. Some of the greatest art (encompassing everything) in the history of life as we know it was created by somebody that was fucked up when they did it.

The rest of the art was created by people trying to get laid.
Same here. I also drink way too much. I blame it on Wisconsin's drinking culture....but, to be honest, I just love the taste of beer. I drink alone, a LOT. Sometimes during the weekends I am finding myself wanting a beer before 9:00 AM.

It's scary a little, but not scary enough to want to stop.

And just re-reading that last sentence scares me.
here here... I feel I drink a lot. I have struggled with making an ass outta myself on many an occasion, which I'm not proud of... As long as I don't overdrink, I am relatively well-behaved. If I'm in a particular conflict with someone or just life in general, the said overdrinking causes episodes of ass-dom, so needless to say, I have to be very careful during such times... like now. Wearing my heart on my sleeve followed by heavy drinking is really really really not a good combination for me. And yet, I think moderation works for me....

I confess that I have been making plans. That's all I say, for now. If anyone has been keeping abreast of crap hittin the fan in my world, they'll know exactly what "making plans" means...
I confess that I fell victim to the fairytale of marriage and family. Not to say that it will never happen for me, I just shoulda woulda coulda been more aware that I might have "fell into" my present situation accordingly.
I confess that having done so has brought me closer to myself. has brought me to love who I am and what I stand for and what I will tolerate. I am grateful for that.
Cause I struggle greatly with insecurity. being too hard on myself... so feeling good about me. feeling like I just wanna nourish myself. is a great great thing.

((Freckle))---I actually want to do yard work... but the yard I have now is so horribly jungle like, that I just don't know where to start.. nor do I have the monetary means to ease the "flip", if you will. Also, what is the point of investing in said yard, if I may not be here much longer? sigh...
I don't feel I do much either. and yet, I get overwhelmed with, I guess. or what I SHOULD be doing. perfectionism sucks.

((30's girl)) WOOP WOOP!

((AP)) okay, now I'm pouring a glass of wine... your words are pure poetry. tee hee!

confession: sometimes I have this crazi irrational desire to wear a really maud-ugly........ mui mui! :x !
( I believe what saves me is I have not yet come upon the one quite fugly enough)

confession: there are a million things I want desperately to order online right now, but can't bc there are so many extra things needing the money instead (puppy shots & Blue's neutering, my car to the shop, the house repairs- it doesn't stop! ) and it's
making me Damn Cranky. >:( how embarrassing to be that spoilt!

moonie sweet:
my shrink said that 'perfectionism' is one of my biggest issues. she says I am WAY too hard on myself whereas I will let pretty much everyone else in my life slide.
I however, disagree, bc when it comes to yardwork, and balancing the checkbook (was gonna be another Confession here bc I still haven't paid bills or balanced it yet) I totally Suck & only do it 1/2 ass to get it done quickly.
if you are in a transitionary place in your life, give yourself a little space & love to ~ just be~; it already sounds as if you understand that, but try really hard to be extra gentle with yourself.
you are so loved and suported here moonie, please don't forget that and use it ( as I have <sniff>) as needed.
Wait. Do you mean muumuu? A Hawiian mu'umu'u? Look here!
QUOTE(freckleface7 @ Aug 4 2008, 02:42 AM) *
confession: sometimes I have this crazi irrational desire to wear a really maud-ugly........ mui mui! :x !
( I believe what saves me is I have not yet come upon the one quite fugly enough)

freckleface - if i can get Mr. Pug's mother to part with the one she wore to dinner at our house last night I'll mail it to you. Talk about fugly. This freaking thing looked like it was made out of a picnic table cloth. She was bragging about how nice it was. Her mom bought it for her and she was also at the dinner and was bragging about how (obviously) inexpensive it was. It was so ugly. I mean, the only words I can use to describe it is frumpy housedress. I had my family down as well and my sister had her new boyfriend over and it was embarrasing. I mean if you knew you were going to a dinner with your daughter in law's family, a group of nine total would you were a muumuu? I'm really not trying to sound like a snob and I want people to be comfortable when they visit. Shit, feel free to kick your shoes off when you walk in the door. I'm in no way a fashion statement being a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl myself. This was terrible. I mean bright blue, yellow and red. My friend has a term she uses that works well for this particular dress. She would say it was Frump Chic!! laugh.gif
i think she meant something more like this:
oh good maud!

atleast that was what we'd call a muu muu when i was a kid in colorada--
my mom's best friend used to wear them in her 30's. it was awful. pretty lady, ugly clothes.
that's about it right there GT!!! Pretty freaking awful.


ok ok so you all got me.. isn't this supposed to be a Confessions (like where you woudn't tell anyone you ever see face to face) thread?
still, I can't explain it. maybe it's some sort of delayed subconscious repressed memory from too much tv time in the 70's when I was wee small. they always just looked Damn Comfortable.

but pugs?
I said I wanted to wear one yes, but I never ever meant like- out in PUBLIC or anything, which is what dinner at your house would be- yikes!
*snickers* i have to admit, i did admire my mom's best friend. she always looked like she was about to go back to bed after any given activity, which, as an avid napper, i really idolized. as horrible as her muu muus were, i loved her lifestyle.
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Aug 4 2008, 10:19 AM) *
*snickers* i have to admit, i did admire my mom's best friend. she always looked like she was about to go back to bed after any given activity, which, as an avid napper, i really idolized. as horrible as her muu muus were, i loved her lifestyle.

That's pretty much my life's ambition- professional napping. *Yawn* I'd be really good at it. No muumuu, though. They get all bunched up.
uh polly, can i has your interwebs babyz? just a whole bunch of little nappy headz?

that's so my life's ambition too. when i saw the movie slackers, i fell asleep half way thru. i thought, meh..... watching all this walking around is too much work. i need a nap.

the quote from me that will make all of my ex gf's giggle is, "i'm done eating. i'm tired of chewing and i need a nap." which is just as well, since the only thing i overdo is chew. i'm an extreme, olympic level masticator, and i am a slow eater (because of all the chewing, and intense, energy consuming, conversational listening i do).

ps, polly. i agree about the sleeping in muu muus. that's too much work to be fighting with. sleep should be effortless.
Freckle, I think we can let you have your Mrs. Roper moment.

And GT, where are you gonna put all these interwebs babies?
huh? whuddya mean where am i gonna put all them interwebs babies? they're like accessories, right? so i'll keep 'em in shoe boxes with little holes in the sides with cute little labels so they can match my outfits!

*aural whispers in my ear while passing me a bottle of liquor*
huh? not accessories? then what the fuck good are them interweb babies?
*aural whispers something in audable*
really? fat lot of good that is. hmph.
*takes a swig as aural whispers something about them, crying when we take them to see the dark knight returns*
fuck that! *burp* the little brats! i'll go all fred sanford on 'em and slip 'em a little ripple.
no more questions. i got nappins to do
*passes out in her graphitti inspired muu muu, slippered feet in the air*
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Aug 4 2008, 11:06 AM) *
uh polly, can i has your interwebs babyz? just a whole bunch of little nappy headz?

Only if you watch them while I'm napping tongue.gif
I don't have a muumuu but i have a caftan. It's blue and polyester with gold and silver embroidery and sequins on the neckline. I bought it off ebay as a coverup for my belly dance costume. It came in the mail with a "jesus will save you" brochure reeking of a pushy christain lady.
i have a weakness for cute, 50's-70's style thrifted "housedresses" that are dangerously close to muumuus. they are just so comfy in the summer.....

another confession: i'm sick of my job. most of my friends are gone, i'm not learning anything new, i'm bored, i'm tired of it, i'm running out of ideas and steam and enthusiasm. my immediate coworker (the other girl on my "team" ) irritates the fuck out of me and i often end up fixing her mistakes/making up for her slacking or not paying attention to direction.

but. it's a sure thing. it's fulltime. it pays well. they like me. and with the economy like it is, i'm not about to take my chances looking for something new.

before, at least, i kind of liked it sometimes. right now i'm at level "tolerating" and if it drops any lower, i'm going to be miserable.
Housedresses have their cachet. Although I'm far more fascinated with muumuus. My mom's housemate had a collection of garishly colored/patterned muumuus from the late '60s/early '70s that she wore around the house a lot when I was a kid. She also had a collection of enameled and cloisonne pins (mostly butterflies, fish and birds) that she used to pin the necklines of her muumuus to keep them from gaping too much. It was very Mrs. Roeper-esque and seemed very exotic to uncultured little me. I wonder whatever happened to those pins....
You know you'd have to wear a muumuu without panties so you could slip the botton up for the UPS guy.

GT, that was hideous!!!!!!!!!! my eyes, my eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. I jus tstarted laughing when i saw it. sooooo ugly.
heh *rubs her hands together* i tol' you!

personally i love pug's pic of homer
yes yes!!! that's more what I think I meant ( & I am NOT backpeddling just 'cause y'all made such fun or me, pictures N all) but bc I had the wrong word to start with. but Had I meant to use MUUMUU, I'd have stuck to it, and see?
I'm clearly not the only one. they still look just Damn Comfy.

confession: on a moment of weakness while checking (out of boredom) classmates and seeing a sweet ex (ok 20 years past & then some ex) boyfriend had signed my Guestbook, w/ frecklette egging me on, I joined for a whole year there and am now completely OBSESSED.
it's sad. most of those people never even left our home state, let alone the actual Town, my life is (coughcough) super cool in comparison, but yet, I get all nostalgic & sentimental & envious and want to be back in touch w/ a few of them. can't spell Loser w/out the Big L !

confession: I only got about 2 hrs sleep last night bc my book got scary & I was afraid to stop reading, and now I have to go to the mr's workplace & act normal, something I'm not good at when running on all cylinders and not 1/2 crazi w/ anxiety. - who wants to lay bets for the scale of embarrassment ahead?
Pssssst! Freckle. Pretty, but pricey caftan.

Confession: I turned the ringer off on the phone. I check the caller ID to make sure I don't miss anything important, but I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I'm just not feeling nice.
Oh, that is gorgeous.

I want this purpl silk scarf I saw at a store, and it's expensive because it's curelty free. I shit you not, little mothy and wormy get to live out their life cycle. But it's such a perty purple.
Ooookay, caftans are more forgiveable, freckle! They're really easy to make yourself- just double the length of fabric, sew down the sides, leaving the arm holes open and cut a hole for your head, with a slit for the neckline. Sooo easy.

If you got fabric with finished sides (or finished them yourself), you could leave the seams outward (does that make sense?) like the one in AP's link.
come to think of it i'm of the whatever makes you happy school, when it comes to your own house. i used to tease the mr. for taking her pants off when she came home, and now.....ok, i still tease her about it, but it's her house, she should wear what makes her happy even if it's just her colored tighty whiteys.

and freck, you know i adore you, i would cheer for you if you wore a lampshade on your head all day, i'd still think you are just one of the sweetest busties (i swear i smile when ever i see you or pugs post cos you're both so sweet) evah.

as for your embarassment level? i think it will be a 2. you'll be a bit nervous, but it will pass. you've seen those people before, and i'm sending you a hug too. so there tongue.gif.

ETA: oh my god, aural.... that is beautiful... oh god i want one in the worst way now.... (it does remind me of my humming bird dress.... i really do have to take a pic of it just so i can post it here.... i may be in the caftan category...
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