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QUOTE(mouse @ Apr 14 2008, 08:48 AM) *
a: procrastinate like a motherfucker and b: am desperately disorganized and c: use the "if i don't think about it, it doesn't exist" excuse for things i find distasteful?????

we're twins. I can't stand any sort of paperwork. Today was my day off, and I spent it:

Going to my insurance agent and trying to get mine reinstated, because I missed 2 payments and it's in cancellation mode. I have such a huge pile of papers that need to be "organized" (yeah right) that I missed both of them. I have a car loan, meaning I have to have comprehensive insurance and if it's canceled then my registration will be canceled and I'll have to drive halfway across the state and pay a fine to re-register. I still don't know if my payment was accepted, but the last time I let my registration lapse (oops) I was caught 3 times.

Then I went to school to do my taxes. At the last minute of course. And I get frustrated with paperwork so easily that I kept going up to my friends and flipping out, sulking and almost crying.

Now instead of cleaning the house, I've been on the computer for hours.
Now that we live in such a convenient area, I find that I rarely go further than 2 miles from our house. That sounds great and all, but I'm starting to feel a bit scared about the idea of venturing out of this little bubble. For instance, I have some errands to run in the next town over. I know I'll feel better if I do it. But something keeps me from going. Some sort of block. I don't understand it. I just feel nervous. I'd rather stay home with my cat. So I do.
i would rather spend my time looking at pictures of other people's bunnies than revising for my exams.

i sometimes blame my inability to get out of bed on depression but sometimes I wonder if i'm just being lazy.

i haven't got the guts to tell my mum that her boyfriend makes me uncomfortable because he's 25 years younger than her. and because he's younger than G. and because he doesn't speak english (she speaks near-fluent french/frarabic, as does he). I really don't want him to move in with her. I don't want to deal with it.

I haven't told her I'm back with G.

I want to set up an etsy shop but I'm too cowardly.
And I get frustrated with paperwork so easily that I kept going up to my friends and flipping out, sulking and almost crying.

Me too.

Confession - I am worried that this time they might find something, even though they never have before.

Confession - I was paid yesterday. I had to make one bigger ticket item and now I want to buy more fun stuff before I pay any of my bills, before I even check my back account.

Confession - sometimes I really hate being a pet owner and I worry that that means I'll be a bad parent. sad.gif
QUOTE(mornington @ Apr 16 2008, 11:58 AM) *
I want to set up an etsy shop but I'm too cowardly.

Ooooh. Mornington, if you do set up an etsy shop please post it in shameless self promotion. I LURVE buying stuff off etsy. I buy waaaay to much stuff there.
kittenb: I adore my fur children, but sometimes resent the sheer volume of work entailed to care for them; as a Mom, a few times I've felt that way as well but not as often and for the most part, think I do a pretty o k job of raising frecklette. ( & when kids get older- they become more self-sufficient and that helps too ) I'm sure when the time comes, you'll be fine. smile.gif

mornington: totally do it! you rock! share that with the rest of the world! tongue.gif

confession: while waiting in line at the pharmacy, I held out my ear set to the cranky toddler in a stroller behind me, and he totally started smiling and rocking to the music.
Zeplin never fails ~ laugh.gif

confession: now that I think I sorta know what's wrong w/ my back, while I keep telling my family it's no big deal, I am secretly Freaking OUt & replaying the word ' degenerative' over & over in my head.
Confession: I'm secretly resentful of my friend because she's pregnant and suicidal and I can't handle that every day she's calling me to say she wants to die. I know it's about ending the pain, and we're working on building her a bigger and professional support system, I just don't want to be the centre of her support system right now. It's completely affecting my own life right now and I'm so behind in school because I spend too much time on the phone with her everyday. I just want her to be better already!
I have let the battery on my phone run out, and I have no intention of charging it, because I don't want to talk to my grandmother and she won't stop calling.

For the first time, I did not hide a love note in the boy's luggage when he left on a trip. I'm resentful that he never does anything like that for me, or expresses happiness that I do it for him. Maybe he doesn't like the love notes. I almost hope he searches through his bags for the note that's not there.

I am petty and mean and spiteful.
Confession: I have no desire to talk to anyone tonight, so I'm skipping class for the second time in a row. I know some people are going to have questions as to why I was gone, and I just don't want to tell them what happened.

Confession: I went shoe shopping today for a pair of sensible flats and ended up buying a pair of platform stilettos, shoes that are slightly more classy than stripper shoes (and twice as expensive). Not exactly what my budget needs, but they look sexy and I look amazing in them. Now if I could find a reason to wear them...
confession: my husband irritated me to the point where i just said "fuck you, i'm leaving" and walked out. i went to my mom's and just got home. he's sleeping on the couch and i have no intention of waking him up. or apologizing. cuz i am still pissed off at him for being a jerk.
Confession: the last few weeks i've wanted to be single again; i am beginning to like being lazy lol ; i'm content with not going out of the house and being completely anti-social. I ignore my phone (sometimes turn it off) and purposely dont call people back. I just want to be quiet.
Last year I got hit by a car on my bike and I hit the pavement and was out for a few seconds... got up and rode off in a daze... anyway, confession being: sometimes I get a strange feeling that I died that day and this has all been a post-mortem dream. I don't logically believe it, but it freaks me out just knowing I could have died, so quickly, so easily...
edie- post -mortem dream- would that be like heaven or the afterlife?
your post, along w/ making me feel sad that you were upset, also made me think.

plans to use my Hitachi Wand to actually massage my back.

confession: what is squeeful irony. tongue.gif
I dunno, freckleface... when I think of it I think of my spirit wandering around, unsettled, or imagining what would have happened with all the stuff that was going on in my life at the time that it happened.

I'm not upset anymore, but it is still eerie to think/talk about it.
Miss Deena
My mom hates the cloths I wear when we go out. I wear the cloths she hates just to bug her.
When I came home and saw that the dishrack was empty, and all the dishes had been put away, my first thought was that someone had been in my apartment when I was out.
1) I just spent almost $200 on new clothes, when I sooooo can't afford that much. On the up side, if I didn't have my staff discount, the same clothes would have cost $400 (not that I would have spent that much - I just would have had half as many new things), plus doodlemama sent me $80 so I could have new work clothes, so it's not all bad. Plus I've dropped so much weight, I had pretty well nothing to wear anyway.

(Maybe we need a special thread for justifying and validating our decisions!)

2) I am developing feelings for a boy who is a new friend, but I'm scared shitless to let myself go and really feel them, because even though the signs of reciprocal interest are there, and I feel deep down in my heart and soul that there is "something" really special about this guy, my head keeps telling me I can't trust anyone in the world but myself.
stupid damn double posts
i have a deep desire to get raging, out of control, do stupid-shit-i'll-regret-tomorrow drunk when we go out tonight. and i will have enough friends that have money (cuz i don't!) with me that it is a possibility. but i will be good, i'm sure, and just get a little buzzed, because i am too afraid of losing control and doing that stupid shit i'll regret tomorrow!
i really get annoyed with couples who have to do every single thing together.

maybe i just cling to my freedom a little too well. but, a gal needs her space.
I have become one of those couples! Bleh:/

I need to start doing more things without the boy and meet new peps.
damona -

don't do it. trust me. you're better off not regretting what you did the night before. I had a spectacularly drunken and regrettable night about a month ago, and I wish I could pull a groundhog day and re-do it.

I keep having dreams that involve a certain person and doors.
I've been having the same urge too, damona, which is why I'm sitting in a coffee house right now instead of at the bar and doing stuff I know I will regret in the morning. I've been there a couple times and it isn't fun.

Confession: Right now I want to give everything in my apartment to Goodwill and start all over this summer. Just bring my books, some clothes, my camera, CDs, computer and my camping gear back with me to Minnesota because that's what is important to me. I really like my couch, but the rest of it can go, I'd even be willing to part with most of my clothes and a couple of the books.
Confession: I am so tired of my mom's bulls**t right now I just don't want to do anything for her or even deal with her. I am so glad she's out of the country right now, even though it means I'm doing a ton of extra stuff by looking after her house and 4 animals and bills and all that crap. I almost wish she were back drinking becasue she's acting like she did when she was, and at least if she was drinking she could get sober again and become the wonderful human being she is.

Confession: I hate how consumed I am with money. Getting it, saving it, spending it (WRECKLESSLY), worrying about it, not budgeting it, trying to budget it, loaning it, never getting loaned money back, making bad investments, and so on. I really don't know why I find money and my personal finances such an overwhelming thing to deal with. Having money and having a lack of it makes me very anxious and gives me funny feelings...Is this stemming from different issues in my life?

Managing my Stocks, Credit Reports and 401k are also things that overwhelm me...

I hate money, but at the same time I have a sick love of it too...

This is stupid.


Money is so essential to everyones life and future. We need to be given classes geared specifically toward this in grammar school and high school. Mostly all of my peers have no real idea what they are doing with their finances besides swiping cards and spending cash til its ALL GONE or MAXED OUT.
confession: well, i went and did it. ugh. apparently i didn't do anything particularly idiotic, except i freaked out one of my friends when i said i wanted this chick in a little black dress and stiletto heels, since said friend didn't know i am bi (how have we been friends a couple years and she never knew? i'm still confused on that one. but anyway.) the only part i regret is that, for the first time in my life, i got sick from drinking. at least i didn't puke on myself. i have that redeeming factor. but i guess it serves me right for the like, 10 tequilas that i drank. at least i'm not horribly hung over, just feeling a bit delicate.
JoanClayton: I/we are a bit like that sometimes too; we have been working w/ a financial planner for 2 years now, and while yes she's done us a lot of good, we both dread going in for "maintence appointments" bc she always makes us feel like little kids back at school w/out our homework & not having studied for the BIG TEST.
really though, money is much more emotional a subject than most people would ever really admit or realise.

confession: I have been very good to myself lately.. while not having been particularly kind or loving to my family and I think I probably should feel bad about that but don't ; I just want to keep on shopping.
(fyi: my newly french tipped super girly gel nails, and french manicured toes look fantastic! tongue.gif )

ps to damona: I'd have probably at least contemplated flirting w/ that girl too - she sounds like she had great style!
Damona, I have puked on myself from drinking too much tequila. I haven't had tequila since that night. I was crawling on the floor I was so drunk.
Tequila. I remember hugging the toilet bowl asking myself how my then boyfriend could sleep while I was dying. The next day I was fine and he couldn't talk.
The police do a back ground check on you as part of the hiring process. I'm worried about what some people will say. there is a reason I keep my groups of friends seperate.
My breasts are killing me, every month they start to hurt around ovulation and beyond. It's a weird pain...
anna k
Every night when I go to sleep, I think about what it will be like when I die, if there is a heaven, and fear sea levels rising and the pandemonium and chaos as people try to migrate towards the middle of the country from the coasts.

I worry about money too, and try to ration it carefully so I can build my checking and savings account with each paycheck I get.

I'm looking forward to my sister moving back home, but she can be a pain in the ass. She can be judgemental and snotty about people, making faces to me about people she thinks are ugly/weird/poor/crazy. It makes me want to sock her in the nose when she does that.
I am going through my stuff because I'm moving, and I really feel the need to hold onto EVERYTHING. It is a sickness. Inherited from my mom.
i drank too much the other night. don't remember much and have been dealing with bad bouts of depression ever since. i shouldn't drink with my anti-depressants but occasionally it happens. no more. (finally feeling better though for the most part)
I'm getting paid really well to do my homework, again. So not in my job description, but hey, so much that I do isn't in it anyways, so what's a little personal stuff on top!
thanks for the commiseration, everyone!!

additional confession: i don't want to deal with my kids today. i just don't. i think i'm really needing a vacation. just a day or two, that's really all i ask.

edie, i have the same problem. whenever i clean house i start channeling my mother and saying things like "well, if i fix that, it'll be just fine." and "that might be useful someday". when we moved here, i cut loose and had a huge rummage sale. i made $600! at a rummage sale! that should tell you how much crap i got rid of!
I love it when everyone in the office is having a good day. Even though, I sometimes don't agree with a certain female coworker around body image issues and sometimes I am just plain old grumpy to begin with, I really like ALL of my coworkers! I have my favorites though... I favor the guys just a little bit more.
i just spent 1/2 an hour out of my life reading the "reader comment thread" on the A.V. Club's interview of Chris Carter. and then i laughed hysterically at the following: "i am still horrified by the cognitive dissonance between mitch pilleggi's shiny head/habit of talking solely through his teeth and the fact that he is somehow extremely built."

omfg. someone get me a life. like, seriously. someone come over and pry my cold dead hands off the internets.
I'm initially distrustful of men when they start posting here. Many of them turn out to be good contributors and completely benign, but I feel like I/we have gotten burned so many times.

My boyfriend has really nice legs and they aren't too hairy like most guys.

I secretly want to see him in heels.

I cannot wait to be an old woman... why? b/c I think older women are beautiful, only if they have wisdom and confidence. I cannot wait... I met an older woman today who I know I will be like...

An older man who accompanied the older woman that we met today, came to me, and said very poetic and prophetic things about my boyfriend. I am grateful for him saying those things to me.. i needed to hear them.... he said that my boy was respectful, honest, warm, and that he had a very bright light from within him... so yeah, it may sound cheesy, but you didn't have to look to his eyes as he said it and he meant it.

My boy thinks I am a princess... he's nuts... =(

We are arguing now...
Thanks to crazyoldcatlady's post, I wandered over to the AV Club, read the interview and the comments.

I think this means I have less of a life than she does (or else I'm still obsessed with the X-Files). laugh.gif
QUOTE(pollystyrene @ Apr 24 2008, 12:58 AM) *
I'm initially distrustful of men when they start posting here. Many of them turn out to be good contributors and completely benign, but I feel like I/we have gotten burned so many times.

Polly, I totally understand how you feel. I know that's strange because, hell, I'm married to a man I met on Bust! There are some really great guys in this community (Lore, Mr. FJ, and so many others). I think it's great that we have men who are comfortable with feminism & who participate on the forum. But we've also had some duds. I am 1000 times more suspicious of men who make their first posts in the sex section. It makes me wonder how they found Bust in the first place ... and what their true motivations may be. dry.gif
QUOTE(roseviolet @ Apr 25 2008, 12:55 PM) *
I am 1000 times more suspicious of men who make their first posts in the sex section. It makes me wonder how they found Bust in the first place ... and what their true motivations may be. dry.gif

yep, i am so with you on this one, rose.
I am also weary of men who come in here and go right to the sex thread, it's like they are sitting in some little room wearing a tinfoil hat and playing with themselves over seeing that feminists *gasp* enjoy sex.
I confess that I am totally addicted to and when the fug girls went on vacation, I went through withdrawl.

I confess that I am excellent at holding a grudge and believe that I don't have to forgive people who have wronged me.

I REFUSE to apologize for my actions . I will just not speak to a certain someone ever again. he can totally BITE ME and is a squealer. Not apologizing to a squealer.
I want somebody to walk up behind me / And kiss me on my neck and breathe on my neck /Been such a long time/ I forgot that I was fine

(erykah badu knows what's up)
Confession: I don't know what the fuck I am doing sometimes when I call myself a feminist. What the hell do I know? These are difficult questions and there are few absolute answers. Why do some people get so annoyed w/me for being absolute in some things but then get just as annoyed when I am unclear in others?
I wore goodwill pants today without washing them first :P
confession: I was always told that swearing was a sign of low-class, but sometimes, FUCK fuck FUCK! is the Only word that fits.

after being cat-called by the roofers working across the street as I came home, I Confess that I am now contemplating taking the mr's pellet gun & opening our top story office window (directly to the right of where I am currently sitting) & having a little sport of my own today, lee harvey oswald style. dry.gif
Fuck is the best word ever freckle!
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