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Confession: I stayed up way too late several times in the past week, obsessively reading online porn stories.

Now I have a horrible cold because I haven't been getting enough sleep to ward off my husband's germs.
i love the term making out!
I like the phrase "making out" too, and I'd rather hear "We had a good fuck" than "we made love." That phrase reminds me of a cheesy 70's guy who's trying to pick up someone.

Speaking of which, I met someone I want to make out with.

Unfortunately, I don't think he feels the same way. sad.gif

I've come to the conclusion that my life would be so much better if the world catered more to night people. I hate having to get up before the sun rises to leave for work.
confession: I've been having having raunchy sex lately, that while I do have an orgasms from vanilla sex, they aren't as powerful or intense. Still enjoyable though.

confession: I don't feel the slightest bit sorry for my mother and the issues with her weight, because she doesn't nothing to curb her weight gain. She sits around the house as soon as she gets home from work and from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed on the weekends, she watches television with the occassional trip to the basement to do a load of laundry or to do dishes. She asks how she looks, and she is gaining substantial weight. She is enrolled in tae kwon do, but rarely goes to class and always for the lamest of excuses (I have sores on my tongue!?!?). She could make watching television into a full time job because of how much she does it. We have full equipment in the basement. What's the problem? I get that you have to become motivated, but just get your ass down there and do it. Heart problems run in our family, she's already beenr referred to a cardiologist, and her cholesterol is horrible, but still she does nothing.
confession: my bf's googlemail was open and i clicked on an email from his sister because i suspected they were writing about engagment-ring shopping. (they weren't.)
confession: playing supermario for probably 15 hours this week

but I beat the game!!
I confess that I judge women with unwanted pregnancies, especially if they're young, or poor, and ESPECIALLY if I went to high school with them. I find myself thinking "you weren't using anything? What did you think was going to happen?"

(This doesn't mean that I don't at the same time feel some sympathy and think they should have the right to proper health care, options, etc.)

Of course, I've had unprotected sex too, it totally could've been me. I feel like a bitch.
confession: I am super vain and at a rehersal dinner last night thought I was the most attractive women in the room.

I like to ask hubby to fuck me. lately I'm into saying he should plow me like a field. Heh heh, plow. I kill me.
I push food on people so I can feel in control when I don't eat it.
I am obsessed with my sexual performance.
I think I'm becoming a Jewish mother..I make food for someone and I wait for complements, even fish for them.
hmm..more of a concern than a confession perhaps?

I think Facebook applications are silly & pointless, but I'm secretly rather thrilled that I'm
voted "# 2 most powerful" in my network. Thrilled and laughing to the point of nosebleed, but still.

i purposely don't choose a 'top 8' on myspace because i think it's silly (well, myspace is silly), but i'm happy when one of my 'friends' puts me in their top lists.
I often do not return phonecalls. If you're lucky, I *might* text you back. I guess I do it for the same reason that guys do: people simply talk too fuckin' much about stuff I don't care about. I know this is one of many things that make me an asshole, but whatevs.
I think I post too much way serious dramatic stuff here.. like it's almost never good and want to start a thread based on what I am Thankful for, bc really there Is a lot.

freckleface, I admire your serious confessions. Don't stop posting them (unless you want to).

Confession: I'm 25 kilos overweight (55 lbs) and still nurture the thought that I look pretty good,
since I'm very tall I kid myself that it only makes me look amazonic. Yes I try to lose it also,
but it's like it's not really sinking in that I'm actually fat. I used to be rather thin in my early 20s, or
curvy thin, like BMI 22 with a D cup. Sometimes I still think "oh I'm just overly curvy". Yeah, that, or "fat". :-P

confession: whenever i hear the pixies, i want to rub the stomach of frank black, black francis, or whatever the hell he is going by now...
confession: coela sounds hotttttttttttttttt !
I would rather stay home and clean my house then be around people ,unless those people are holding down the good shit. I mean really, really good shit
I'm really beginning to hate people en masse more and more every day. I'm viewing groups of people as swine.
I have been experiencing more and more road rage. Every day, I look at all the other drivers and wonder if they even care about climate change, and why are they driving their cars everywhere when there are buses and bike paths (and before I sound like a hypocrite, I do take the bus to work and walk as much as possible), even though they suck in my area. They could put pressure on the city to better fund public transportation, maybe persuade businesses to build more stores and offices closer to the homes of some of these people so they don't have to drive as much.

I then think people in general are really stupid, and we are all doomed because we are all idiots who would rather have a cheap shirt from Wal-Mart than a sustainable future for our kids, and then I let out a stream of cuss words because of a red light or something that is beyond my control.

*sigh* I wish I wasn't so misanthropic.
When I was an angrier person, people who didn't know me well were intimidated by me. But now, no one is afraid of me. I come off as soft-spoken (god, I used to be LOUD!), considerate, and polite. Someone that others think they can walk over or take advantage of. Watching someone try to pull some shit over me, and then having to take action to change their perception of me makes me like the world a little less. I miss people being intimidated by me.

I've also been going through a period of lower confidence. Maybe that plays into others' impression of me. But I haven't lost so much confidence that I've forgotten what's right. So I wish some people would just fuck off.
right now I am so beside myself with grief...I understand things logically, but emotionally do not think it is fair at all.... seeing this nasty angry Rude looking and acting aerobic queen twig woman in color coordinated top & bottom yesterday..her little dog in a cage that she's swinging around, acting as if it's Such an imposition to be there at alll... she is Such a MESS and thank gosh she gets groomed next week (tough to be an accessory when you have a hair out of place, esp when you are swung around inside a box constantly)... I just do not get, when I seriously wanted to know if I coudl be a donor for my boy's blood....if it would help........and I asked, well it doesn't matter now, but I just don't understand thngs at all right now. how could one so pure and good have to go so soon??
and I also don't understand why these things happen when the mr is away.
why do *I* have to be the one Strong Enough to handle it?
in reality I am leaning so heavily on frecklette, crying on Her wee girl shoudlers and probably scaring her psychologically for the rest of her life.

I need him back.
Today I decided to stop using my birth control (because I've had a chronic yeastie beastie for ages that I want to get rid of and this is my last resort) and it's making me feel really depressed, like I'm really accepting that I'm single, and realizing how long I've been single, and all I want is to meet someone I like. The last time I went off birth control I ended up hooking up with someone a couple of weeks later...I'm half hoping that'll happen again.
I used to have a forceful voice. Lately if I'm saying anything at all that I feel at all passionate about, my voice quavers, it sounds like I'm almost going to cry. I hate that.
yeah i'm drunk. i have a four and a half month old and he is at his grandparents house and i'm drunk right now an hour and a half away. *sigh*

i'm happy and drunk and missing my boy.
confession: i've lost the patience to hear others bitch and moan. do something about it. if not. then shut up. i don't have time for complaining. i think some people get off on making things more difficult for themselves then need be.
I think my confession is that I have a tendency to waste time for several reasons. None of them are good.
word stargazer.

I think that overweight men who pain their faces the colour of an NFL or CFL team are wankers.

Same with people who say "we" lost the game. Look, you aren't a professional player on that team, ergo you didn't loose. Fucking idiots.

My job is turning my into an absolute bitch.

I think that people who are older than 10 and still feel the need to play dodge ball are total and complete douche bags.

and no I am not saying that because as a child I had some traumatic dodge ball expierence I was an athletic kid and always thought it was the meanest game ever.
sometimes I get really and totally obsessive about aquiring a particular item.
last year it was a super huge plain black silk kimono style robe;
currently it is a uber high thread count set of sheets in a pale but particular shade of blue.
I do not know why I get like this, but have been known to spend literally hours at a time in something akin to a trance researching it online, only to still usually end up not finding exactly what I want (or in the case of the sheets, waiting a day too long to order and then missing out).

I confess that I miss my puppy as much as I miss the mr and still feel like a little girl who needs her mama in my loss. or the mr. I need him to come home and mourn with me even though I know it is totally unrealistic right now. he'll be home after the holiday's, it's not that much longer now, but I also feel like I am suspending some of my griefe to share with him bc I know it won't fully hit him till he comes physically back to our house.
it's a very weird way to feel, sort of like holding in my psychy-breath.

I secretly judge people sometimes if they use particular words that annoy me.. like the word galore.
nails down a chalkboard.
I also do that if they have this certain arch to their upper teeth ( I think some sort of bad childhood association from a mean older cousin), even though it's totally not fair.
I don't tell people exactly how old I am until they know me better. I'm not weirded out by my age - on the contrary, I'm pretty damn happy with who I am at the age I'm at. ...I just feel like there is a certain pre-judgement based on the age I'm at that doesn't represent me at all. So I just don't tell people until they know me better.
I have a lump.

(((Lustfullypink))) - Have you checked it? I have a lump too, but it was nothing.

Sometimes (or pretty often) I take pleasure in pushing people away. I think "oh,
they don't like me now, JUST AS WELL". I've always thought that integrity rules
over "being liked", but sometimes I could just chill the fuck out and accept
that people can have weird ideas on some subjects and still be OK. I mean, really.


I am finding it more and more difficult to maintain my belief system because of my job. I am sick to fucking death of seeing women have children not because they want to, but because they see them as a dollar amount. I think it's fucking revolting and I see these women as bad women and bad people.
I have had it checked. Biopsy on Wednesday.

Culture, I know what it's like. I, sometimes, have a hard time having a belief system at all.
QUOTE(erinjane @ Nov 21 2007, 11:02 PM) *
Today I decided to stop using my birth control (because I've had a chronic yeastie beastie for ages that I want to get rid of and this is my last resort) and it's making me feel really depressed, like I'm really accepting that I'm single, and realizing how long I've been single, and all I want is to meet someone I like. The last time I went off birth control I ended up hooking up with someone a couple of weeks later...I'm half hoping that'll happen again.

Man, the day after I posted this I ended up meeting someone and we hooked up last night. tongue.gif
My confession: I'm unemployed, have no health insurance, and have not been on my lexapro for over a month due to lack of said insurance. Looking for jobs to no avail (some BS about being "over-qualified"). Still trudging along though I know I will fall deeper if I don't get a job soon that has a decent medical program.
i have a crush on someone i work with.
I was in a relationship for years in which we never said we loved each other (well, I said it a few times, but stopped because it wasn't being reciprocated... and I never addressed it).
I'm hating my boyfriend right now for being a pussy.
I wish I could figure out if AZ Guy is worth it or not. sad.gif

I like it when people laugh at my jokes. It makes me feel like they're on my side and they might not turn against me.
I ordered myself a small bottle of perfume for xmas;
I can't decide if that's pathetic or empowered ?
freckle: soooooooooo empowering!!! you deserve it, you are fabu!

lilacwine: i don't know AZ. that said, if you have doubts, he probably isn't. you are incredible, any boy should know it and be sure to try to erase those doubts. or at least talk to you about them!

confession: i hatehatehate doing all of "the necessary". i'd rather spend my time with mr. hotbuns in a more erotic fashion!
I am considering getting a couple of men towork on a rotation so I can have sex frequently. The cop just doesn't provide often enough.
thank you so much tesao (!), and now I'm going to confess what I have thought for several years here...

I envy tesao's libido and connection w/ her mr hotbuns.

I adore my mr, and he is still mad for me like that, but me, meh, maybe the weight loss/muscle gain will help?

lilac: ditto what tes said.
if you have doubts, maybe it's your honest heart speaking to you.
I need to get a test done, and I'm scared of the outcome. It's not anything serious, but i'm still scared.

Tes & Freckle, thank you for the kind words. He knows that deep down, I am an awesome person, but he's giving up hope that I am capable of becoming that awesome person on his time. It would take a huge effort on my part (and a couple of small miracles) to be what he wants me to be on his time, and I'm not sure if I could pull it off. Plus, it would be to please him, and that never works. A part of me wants to, just to spite him, but I know that won't be a good reason either.

AZ Guy is pretty cool, we both share a lot of the same interests and sense of humor, and we both understand each other, but at the same time he's a bit of a jerk and we disagree on things like childcare (and we aren't even ready to start thinking about reproducing) and where to live (he wants to stay in the desert, I'm thinking that 120+ degree summers are even worse than -20 below winters).

Confession: I haven't done any work since 11 this morning, and I hate my boss for spending more time training in a new employee than he did with the rest of us combined. If he would have spent that much time with the rest of us, this department would run so much better, we wouldn't have such a high turnover rate, and I might be able to actually do my job instead of mindless busy work. I also hate that this is what is consuming my thoughts.
freckle, nothing wrong with buying yourself a nice gift. Don't worry about it.

confession: The other day a new coworker, told me his first impression of me was that I was bit dumb, and maybe a pothead. He laughed because he realized it really was not the case. And I acted like it didn't bother me. But it really offened me, and I couldn't stop trying to figure out what gave him that impression.

confession: The older my mother gets the crazier she gets.

confession: Thanksgiving was at our house this year and I totally ate up all the praise I received for the food and such. I had no idea how much I enjoy being complimented. It seriously went to my head.
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