Sep 16 2006, 07:18 PM
Thanks ginger! I miss my pets. I plan to get some more soon... I'll be able to play with McCrush's pets tomorrow. I can't wait.
Confession: I bought a pint of Mint Chocolate Brownie ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery today just for me....
Pepper, get your drink on!!
Confession: I am amazed by the Illusionist movie....
Confession: I still have at least three loads of laundry left to do, but fuck it. Not gonna happen tonight.
Confession: I spent over $100 on clothes today, and feel no remorse. Because, I needed underwear and jeans...
I do plan on splurging on Lost and GA tomorrow at Best Buy though. I need to curtail my internet spending though....
Confession: Worried a little about my shit job. I have yet another review next week to see if they will keep me or not. I feel almost too lazy to look for another one. It was such a pain to even find this one. Bleh.
I know that I can find a better one though. It's just the motivation that's getting me. I guess that this job is getting me by for now, and that's okay. It's paying the rent.
That last post had too many smileys, but I'm a little drunk... ha.
Sep 17 2006, 12:35 PM
* i want to liquidate everything i own, save my laptop and a few choice books.
Sep 17 2006, 01:42 PM
Catlady, I had the very same desire just yesterday afternoon.
My confession: I'm an independent, groovy, single chick. Yet I still wait anxiously for him to call. It makes me sick.
Sep 17 2006, 01:43 PM
i vacillate between wanting to save the world, make alot of money, or move to tahiti and be a bartender. i cant decide which. sometimes, the bartending option sounds like the best one.
Sep 18 2006, 03:36 AM
Confession: Katie, sounds like a plan.
Confession: It is nearly 6 a.m., and I'm still HUNGOVER.
Confession: I can't get McCrush's lips out of my mind....
Sep 18 2006, 08:53 AM
I'm not acquiring stuff, I'm getting rid of stuff.
Will soon start selling things.
I won't break my own heart though, getting rid of stuff I really care about.
Bunny_b -- ~*~*~ vibes for finishing dissertation ~*~*~
I laughed when I read about the Irish Setter and your sister just because I initially read it as, "when we had a sister we had to get rid of her" ha ha! (and I'm the younger sister, so you know that's funny) "Hello? Adoption agency? Our new baby is conflicting with our dog, so she has to go! Could you come pick her up?"
Confession: I waste too much time. Also! I spend too much on eating out instead of cooking. It's better than it used to be, though
Sep 18 2006, 09:22 AM
I firmly believe that the white horse I see in the pasture on my way to work from time to time is magical.
Sep 18 2006, 11:55 AM
i have a long commute to work, but it's the opposite direction of everyone else (most people leave the valley to go into the city, i leave the city to go into the valley) and sometimes i think a terrible nelson-esque "HAW-HAW!" when i see the cars in the other direction bumper to bumper not moving as i'm zipping along at 75mph. most of the time i see them and just feel really grateful that it's not me, but i have to confess that sometimes i think "ha! suckers!"
Sep 18 2006, 03:50 PM
when people screw up around me, i like it. not because it makes me feel superior, but because it reminds me that they're human too, and i have some company in fuck-up-ville.
Sep 18 2006, 04:50 PM
I believe in teaching children about fairies, and magic and gimme monsters. I warp their minds to make wishes on stars, avoid cracks in sidewalks, moles are really beauty marks... freckles are beautiful and if you step on a daddy long legs it will rain.
Sep 18 2006, 07:22 PM
confession: even though 1) I was young once, and 2) I do enjoy listening to music myself, and 3) I don't usually complain about other tenants and especially not about their music (see parts 1 and 2)....I finally complained about that young dickhead neighbour's music. Because even though the only place our apartments are connected is via my bathroom and my bedroom closet, I could hear heavy thumping bass in the LIVING ROOM when I got home from work today, even after I closed the bathroom door, plus I could hear it in my bedroom at 3 and 4 in the morning on the weekend. And also because, even though he got arrested and fined $1000 this summer for being a dickhead to other tenants with his little mini-motorbike, he's STILL got a little too much white male privilege and he STILL needs to learn that he's not king of the fucking world.
confession: I hope he hates me even more than he already did from thinking I was the one who called the cops over the mini-motorbike. In fact, I hope he hates me so much that he moves out soon.
Sep 18 2006, 07:35 PM
Mouse, I so heart your confession. I always think that on my way to work, I take public transit and just laugh...
Cranberrigirl, I loved your confession as well.
CCC, I like that feeling too. That happened at work today with cunt supervisor, and it sort of reminded me that she had a personality (even though she denies having a brain, heart, or soul).
Confession: I went to work hungover today and no one seemed to notice. I don't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
Confession: I really need to stop buying shit food. I need to cook more, but my damn kitchen is so freaking dark.
Confession: I want to smack my roommate.
Confession: I also still believe in magic.
Sep 18 2006, 08:14 PM
Mouse, I know exactly how you feel! I used to live downtown & worked in the suburbs. My commute was about 15 minutes, but if I'd been traveling the opposite direction, it easily would have been more than twice as long. I admit to cackling with laughter a few times during that drive.
I confess that I really really miss my cat. And I often wish that I hadn't let my ex keep her. But for some reason, it hurts when he mentions her. It's so upsetting to me that I never ask him about her. Somehow hearing about her makes it harder.
Sep 18 2006, 08:16 PM
confession: I'm a teacher who is starting to no longer believe they can all be saved. Some of them will never amount to anything. This is a traumatic realization for me. I always thought that all my students had potential good, but I'm not so sure anymore. And it makes me sad. I gotta get my belief back or I need a different career. Since I love my job, I gotta find a way to believe.
Sep 18 2006, 08:54 PM
confession: I was one of the students that teachers stopped believing in. They thought I was a "stoner" even though I had never done any drugs or drinking. They thought I was an underachiever or dumb or uninterested in learning. But nobody ever bothered looking into what was going on at home that prevented me from doing my homework, that filled me with anxiety and depression, that made me numb and unable to concentrate in class. I certainly never had the language to articulate what was happening, not that there was anyone I trusted to tell. Nobody ever bothered looking into the school bullying that also filled me with anxiety and depression, and finally made me start skipping classes. Even though the first time I skipped school was in the 6th grade, nobody tried to find out the reasons. By the 9th and 10th grades, when I started ditching all the time, many of my teachers assumed I was skipping out to get high, but I was actually walking around listening to music and thinking, or I was holed up somewhere writing or drawing, or I was hanging out reading at the public library (though sometimes I went to museums instead). Nobody cared. Nobody thought I could be saved. Nobody ever encouraged me to dream about what my life could be. I was one of the ones who was supposed to never amount to anything. So all I could plan for was growing old enough to get away from the hell I was living in. I barely made it through high school and I never went to university. I left home at 17. As a young adult, I experienced a lot of heartache, made a lot of mistakes, and underwent a lot of counselling and group therapy before I finally got my shit together and carved myself a place in the world. Now I am considered a "community leader." I run a non-profit advocacy organization, and I helped form a province-wide coalition of similar organizations. Which gives lie to my teachers' beliefs that I was a hopeless wastrel and stoner who would probably never amount to anything. If one teacher - or one adult of any stripe - had reached out to me and taken an interest in my life, asked me the questions that would have made me spill my guts on the whole, sad situation, perhaps I could have overcome it a lot sooner, and gone on to do something even more outstanding.
confession: writing that last paragraph and knowing people will be reading it makes me so uncomfortable that it aches inside, and I would never, ever have posted something that intensely personal except for the fact that I think kelkello probably needs to read it. So if the rest of you like me as much as you say you do, you will completely ignore this post and act like it never existed. *weak smile*
Sep 18 2006, 09:12 PM
((Doodle)) Your childhood could have been mine (in terms of school, anyway).
I had this asshat teacher for 6th grade (I confessed about him here earlier, shortly after the thread started) who told me that he and my parents had talked about my future and agreed that I'd be a high school dropout. I was pretty sure my parents would never have said that, and when I told my mom about it later, she was shocked that he would tell me such a thing. I now believe that I had been depressed since I was a child, stuggled all through school and it finally became too much in college, so I stopped doing my work and got kicked out, had to move back home. I got into therapy, went on meds, took a few classes at the community college, but even that got to be too much and I never got my degree. I think if I had been diagnosed earlier and some action had been taken, school would not have been the major hellish experience it was and I would have made it through college. At this point, I just have such a horrible reaction to it, I really don't think I could go back.
But in all seriousness, you seem to be a shining example of how much you can do without a college degree and it really gives me hope
Sep 18 2006, 09:50 PM
I have to say, life without a post-secondary education has been really hard, and I am very afraid of what comes after this job. I've been very lucky that the feminist movement as an employer acknowledges life experience alongside education and work experience. So I'd hate it if I were being held up as an example without folks knowing that side of things.
Sep 18 2006, 10:19 PM
if it was up to me, i would marry this boy, seven year age difference and his girlfriend be damned.
Sep 18 2006, 11:19 PM
i confess that i love doodlebug. and many others here too, but right this minute it is the queen of bees.
Sep 19 2006, 06:42 AM
Doodle, reading your confession reminded me that I, too, was considered to be one of the school's "druggies" because I wasn't so easy to pin down; no one could figure me out. Hell, I couldn't even figure myself out for half of high school (and, really, isn't that NORMAL?!). Funny to think that now they thought I was a druggie; no one ever approached me to see if I had stuff. I never even tried alcohol in high school. I was too funny/weird/had friends in different cliques to be voted for "class radical" and the obvious girl who was the star of all the theater stuff won the dumb award. I was a band nerd and too weird for even the drama nerds, so I know where you're coming from. (except my parents would have killed me if I had cut school)
I've got to visit my grandmother this morning and I kind of don't feel like going. I know I'll feel differently when I get there, but UGH... guilt. Stupid.
Sep 19 2006, 07:02 AM
Oh, I'm not doubting that it's hard, but I get sick of people acting like a college degree is the be all and end all. Of course, if your passion is to be a doctor/lawyer/teacher/nurse/engineer, etc., then yeah, you don't really have a choice, but after having a miserable educational experience for 15 years, I decided there are other ways to fill my head and other ways to be sucessful and feel fulfilled in life. I also came to the conclusion that I didn't want my job to be the center of my life, so what was the point of spending all that time and money for it. I have a feeling that even if I had stayed in school and gotten a degree, I would still be questioning whatever I ended up doing, and I'd be much farther in debt than I am now on top of that. I choose to look at it as having more choices and less debt.
Sep 19 2006, 07:57 AM
I do graphic design, and you used to be able to make connections, develop skills and show that you could do it, and that's it, you'd get jobs. You could work your way up on your own ideas, if you could be reliable and deal with pressure and cooperate with others and deal with technical things.
A couple years ago, the real estate market went up and the price of the necessary equipment to accomplish these tasks went down. This means there is a lot more competition, and, along with corporate mega-mergers and swallowing up of small firms and independent media, means you have to get a Bachelor's degree in a closely related field to get a job - or even get in the door to get interviewed and show your portfolio.
I tried clever work-arounds for awhile, but realized I'd better suck it up, budget and work like HELL, and cash in my previous education chips. You can complain forever that it's not fair, but if they require a degree and it's not fair I still better GET ONE.
There are still people trying to get inferior jobs in the company and then manipulate their way, or getting "certificates" or trying to find some guy running something out of his living room or something, but that is just plain pathetic.
The other thing is, a lot of my friends try to dump on me for thinking I need a car. Well, I live in the city so I do the reverse commute thing, and while I'd RATHER just hop a train into the groovy hipness city the way I do now, the fact that I CAN drive to the suburbs and they CAN'T means that I have more opportunities. Places that offer mid-level positions sometimes can't afford rent around here. Not all public transit goes there, and the highways and winter make it hard to bike.
I spent money I needed to spend. I'm going to spend more on a laptop and software. That's just the way it goes.
I also know that looks and health and grooming and clothing are important. I'm not personally being a prissy snob -- I'm in a visual field. I'll get judged by hipness, I'll get hired on how well I can exercise and eat and have reasonable vitality and a lack of scary medical things and cop out excuses. My boss will be judged by how hip and attractive and conformist I am by her boss. It might not be "niiiiice" but it's the truth -- ignore it at your peril.
sure, I guess if you're parents buy you medications you can cruise on their dime, with them paying your rent, medical bills and retirement, you can just go out shopping and watch dvds and live in fantasy land. Rah rah for you. I personally would rather DIE than live that way. That's like being in an effin' nursing home.
Sep 19 2006, 09:33 AM
in my experience, you need a college degree to even remotely live or even have a chance at doing anything interesting or fulfilling at this point. in fact half the time you need a masters or higher. i dont like it, but hell, its the way it is where i am right now. and it sucks bc how the hell am i going to pay for grad school?
Sep 19 2006, 10:12 AM
Not only do I believe in magic...I practice it regularly. Consequently, I confess to getting what I want without having to ask a lot lately.
And also to having "energy sex" (i.e. physically, only eye contact) with at least three different individuals since Friday. One of them twice.
Sep 19 2006, 01:20 PM
Kates: I'll tell you something I wish *I* knew -- find a school that is a Fannie Mae school. Look under Fannie Mae website or something. Because with that, you borrow more money but they actually give you enough to live on, and you can have the social life or the free work time to make better work and better connections.
The student loan living stipend won't cut it unless you live out in the sticks somewhere, and there, there is no public transit so you might get really stuck.
If you like writing and language and all, they actually pay more for that than they used to. Communications is a good major because you can take creative courses and business course. It is not as La Bimbo as it sounds.
txplumwine: now, do you mean, had sex VIA eyecontact or sex WITH eyecontact?
Universe: I am thankful to be in a good place - good company -- and found some good contacts elsewhere where they don't care if you're female/older/less degreed/health history as long as you do the job! And I work with some really kick-ass women who don't have the lives of magazine models. But I do have to deal with what's out there, and you can't go to the west-bound side of the highway and yell and wave your arms till they start driving east.
Too many of my friends aren't REALLY making their own living these days. And I don't want to dump on them because, they're my friends, but sometimes they make little remarks implying that they are just too above having to work their way up the way I do.
Sep 19 2006, 02:32 PM
I like my intern job a lot (I intern at a famous magazine) and hate sitting in school because it's not as interesting or as important as my magazine job is, where I learn so much more about the world. I hate having to complete credits and sitting among kids yakking on cell phones or crowding elevators.
I like feeling like a mature young woman because I work in a big corporate building and wear heels and converse with other employees.
Sep 19 2006, 03:04 PM
Wombat - i.e. the *only* remotely physical contact was eye contact. Well, that and handing things over with an "accidental" brush of fingers against fingers...
Speaking of which...make that *three* times with one individual...one of those barely an hour ago that left me weak in the knees.
Sep 19 2006, 03:59 PM
ooooo that happened to me today too TX! this guy i work with who i would do very, very bad things to gave me that look after i asked him, joking around, "what do YOU want" when he came over to say something to someone i was talking to. he just gave me those eyes, and i almost died.
Sep 19 2006, 05:20 PM
* while i was exiled to a shit town in my middle school years, i had this asshole football coach/social studies teacher who would have the pretty girls come up behind him and massge his shoulders while he taught. no body thought this was wrong, and i hate to say i didn't know any better, but the only thing that i took away from it was that i wasn't a pretty girl.
how terrible is that?
i wish i knew better then.
Sep 19 2006, 05:53 PM
your post breaks my heart because as a classroom teacher sometimes I am too busy to find out the details, or no one tells me until I ask , or I just am trying to balance a million things that HAVE TO GET DONE and I know kids slip through the cracks and I try to give them what they need but there are 30 of them and one of me and it gets to be overwhelming. I know the kids who don't perform well academically have a lot of other things that impact thier perfomance in my class and it is not because they aren't smart or capable but their is other shit going on. it is sad to me. I wish I could do more. I do love my students and wish I could give them all what they needed but it literally physically impossible with the way that schools are set up. they maintain the status quo. IN order for some to succeed others have to fail. I am in the belly of the beast trying to make a difference. I don't know if I do. I hope.
Sep 20 2006, 10:23 AM
confession: I think I am becoming a true tv junkie, and this makes me sad. I used to pride myself on the fact that I hardly watched any television and that I didn't even own a tv when I lived alone.
Sep 20 2006, 02:48 PM
I hate how kids in my school from other countries can openly declare in my classes how fat and lazy they think Americans are, and how everybody agrees with them. Two foreign kids in my class went on, making fun of fat Americans who drive all the time. I know there is truth, but I find it really irritating when they sum up Americans outside of New York as fat slobs.
Sep 20 2006, 05:32 PM
I'm a TV addict too, yuefie. I don't really pay attention all that much, but I have to have it on for some reason. I used to feel ashamed of loving TV, but now I proudly declare my love for the boob tube. At a recent staff lunch, my boss said, "I don't know how people have time for TV." She's the elitist type, so TV is very unsophisticated in her mind. I responded by saying, "I have plenty of time for TV and I take full advantage of it!"
Yeah, I hate that fat/lazy stereotype, too. It's not just foreigners though. People in the big, coastal cities assume that everything in between is backwards and uncool. I live in Minneapolis, and I think Minnesota is a super cool place to live, and underrated. People may be a little chunkier than average (according to some study) but who the hell cares? We're not lazy. Okay, well maybe I'm lazy, but most of the people around here work pretty damn hard--probably harder than your average European.
Sep 20 2006, 08:36 PM
I have lived in NYC for nearly three years, and I'm sick of the NYC-centrism as "We're #1!" They have tons of New York-centered film festivals of movies shot in NYC, and it all looks like masturbation to their own image. I visited Charleston, SC for life after college, and it was different to get used to, being so much smaller and less glamorous, but I would still live there.
I hate the fat stereotype, and while it is true that people can be lazy and unhealthy, there are tons who are atletic and healthy and strong and work hard, and not lounge around and smoke and drink and act languid like a stereotypical European. I was friends with a girl from Dutch Guyana who also called Americans fat and lazy, and made fun of me for blow-drying my hair because it looked too dry, not air-dried like her long raven locks. I air-dried my hair in junior high to be hippie and free, and it ended up crimped and natty-looking because I didn't use any hair product or leave-in stuff. Or she teased me because I didn't like to show off my breasts and preferred to wear a hoodie to minimize their D-cup size. She got really irritating and obnoxious, and I dropped her soon after.
I hate people who say, I don't watch TV, I read. I like books when they're interesting and involving, but I also like to watch TV when I want some relaxing fun instead of reading lots of words for hours. Plus, I'm a journalismEnglish major, and can be burned out on books when I read as a job.
Sep 21 2006, 01:56 AM
I am European and I totally believe that SOME Americans are fat and lazy (and more than there are fat and lazy Europeans). I have never seen so many people circling the parking lot so that they can have a spot next to the store instead of just walking 50 yards.
I love to read but sometimes I am just too lazy to do so and watch crappy stuff on TV.
I am scared that I will never find a job that has anything to do with what I studied at the university.
Sep 21 2006, 02:12 AM
I too hate to see people fighting over a single close parking spot instead of walking. The only time I try to park close is when it's pouring rain or late at night. That being said, I am a non skinny american who runs circles around some of her lazy as toads skinny friends. So, I do not feel that fat automatically equates with lazy.
Sep 21 2006, 08:11 AM
my shameful shameful confession:
what I Thought was some freakish new breed of oceanic wondermeant, is in actually, Just an actual seamonkey
I went back to the company site & saw a tiny picture and yup, that's it.
(altho now in my defense & retrospect, this does not look like any of the other's we've had over the years.)
I contacted the company even.
I am beyond mortified
Sep 21 2006, 12:37 PM
Oh no! My dear sweet old Dad just 'phoned. I had FORGOTTON IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! Shit shit shit. I hang my head in shame; I'm a terrible, self-absorbed daughter. Worst of all, I lied and pretended I hadn't forgotton at all.
Sep 21 2006, 03:24 PM
I just lied to get out of a meeting I never had any intention of attending.
I'm 37 years old -- why can't I just say, "I'm sorry, I don't think I can attend," instead of saying yes and then calling with some last-minute bullshit?
I don't like myself when I lie.
Sep 21 2006, 05:54 PM
Freckle, I've been deprived of the monkeys of the sea my whole life.
An actual monkey of the sea
would be special to me!
But yeah, I can see how you may feel a little awkward.
Sep 22 2006, 04:00 PM
I am exhausted, and I really have done much.
I loathe 60 to 70 percent of my co-workers, even though they like me.
I need a couple of really strong drinks.
When I am nervous, or talking to people I really don't well, I stumble over my words and it embarasses the crap out of me.
Confessing in here always takes a bit wieght off my shoulders.
Sep 22 2006, 04:42 PM
I over-use the word "emo"... especially when mocking.
Whenever my father calls, not only can I not wait for him to go, but I can't say "I love you too dad" anymore. Because I don't.
I am debating not telling the student loans company I am resitting first year because I don't want them to cut my loan.
Sep 22 2006, 08:51 PM
Confession: I'm a lazy, fat American and I'm eating triscuits and cream cheese for dinner. I also just finished off a sixer of beer and a half-pack of smokes within the past 2 hours.
Sep 22 2006, 09:14 PM
confession: i wish i had the other half of your smokes, poodle.
...and some triscuits...
Sep 22 2006, 10:03 PM
*pops cig in FJ's mouth*
Also, if I'm at Target or wherever, I'll hop in my car and drive down to the Home Depot at the other end of the mega big-box strip center. Those places weren't designed for people to walk 50 yards. That's why people don't do it. Also, it's colder than a witch's titties in an iron bra up here. *lights up another smoke*
Sep 22 2006, 11:03 PM
confession: though I usually park down away from the front so I don't have to squeeze my old ass clunker volvo in to a compact spot and slam my door in to someone elses nice new shiny car, I deliberately parked in the very front spot tonight when stopping at the store just because I *felt* like it.
confession: I think I'm crushing on poodle & fj and want some of their triscuits too. I'll pass on the smokes though, if they are cig's...
Sep 22 2006, 11:59 PM
mornington, I can't say I love you to my dad either. It's always very awkward at the end of a phone conversation when there's this silence where I should be saying it, but I just can't.
Sep 23 2006, 09:13 AM
I hate my roommates. They're total bitches. I so want to move.
Sep 23 2006, 11:04 AM
I really, really want a pug puppy and I feel disloyal to my cat mandoo .
Sep 23 2006, 08:11 PM
I think I like my two pugs more than I like almost every person I know, by a lot (So Bunnyb, I highly suggest getting one).
I sometimes wish I could just meet a rich man to help me get over my unemployed husband - and save me from drowning in debt and buy me lots of Marc Jacobs stuff.
I feel like my marriage is doomed and I cling to it beyond all hope anyway out of fear of being alone.
I get so bored and lonely sometimes I just sleep all day.
I make six figures yet feel like I am always struggling to pay my bills.