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I know- you have to walk past the garbage cans to leave the beach. WTF???? On Saturday, I was at brunch with my friends and this place was packed with kids, but it's a fabulous restaurant, so it was worth it. I felt bad for the guys who had to clean up the messes of food left my little kids and their lazy parents on the floors, the chairs, etc. Just bits of food everywhere, like a garbage disposal exploded, beyond a normal level of crumbs. I'm not saying they have to clean up every piece, but at least put some effort into consolidating it a little, scooping it up on a plate. I'd be embarrassed to leave a place like that.
I wonder if popping out babies decreses the I.Q. of some women. After all it doesn't take that much to put a diaper in the trash can.
i actually think it might deschat. and puppies are cuter then babies clover. by a FREAKIN longshot. so yes, i would be annoyed if i were you too.
Diapers on beaches is gross, I agree. Although I've known a few people who go too far in the OTHER direction! Our women's centre used to be in a community centre, and we had one mama who had to feed her babe this weird, non-allergenic diet (don't remember what), which made the diapers REEK. But the manager of the community centre got mad when the mom rolled up the diapers and deposited them into the public washroom's garbage, because of the smell. WTF? Where was she supposed to leave them? So the manager made the mom take the diapers all the way 'round back to the dumpster, which I thought was grossly unfair...especially since maintenance emptied the garbage every day. Surely women can tolerate the smell of the occasional diaper in a women's washroom?

I don't think I've seen many diapers on our beach, but most of the trash along there is washed up trash. Then again, our beach is more a walking beach - families go to the big beach at the park, on the other side of the river, 'cause there's a wading pool and water park, too. The only regular trash we get on this beach is broken bottles around the fire pits, from drunken parties. Which is even worse than diapers and other rubbish, because there are lots of doggies running along there, and they have no protection on their feet from bits of broken glass.
Some girl I know just found she is pregnant w/ her 2nd baby. She went on and on about the morning sickness and the pain all being worth it. She claimed you forget everything once you see thier faces. All the while she looked ill like she was going to puke any second. She was telling me about being put on bedrest and having an IV b/c she was to sick to eat w/ her first child. The whole thing was pure insanity. I am not going to talk to breeders anymore.(kidding a bit) I just get sick of hearing all that crap.
that reminds me, ginger, of this book I'm reading called Influence, the psychology of persuasion. in the book it states that people strive to remain consistent in their choices and decisions and I think that this concept applies to parenting. when people become pregnant and are expecting a baby, whether or not they realize it, they have mad a choice-to have a baby. now in order to remain consistent w/ that choice, they convince themelves that it is the right thing to do and that they are happy about it. otherwise, why did they make the decision? so these people that we see who go on and on about how freaking happy they are about their babies and blah blah blah basically are trying to stay mentally consistent otherwise they would have to deal w/ the agony of mental conflictidness (ha) and would suffer eternally. my theory. someone please contradict me, this is fun.
clover, my mom still swears you forget all the pain and suffering. I said, yeah, just like dissociation is a response to trauma., I mean, "ginger, my mom still swears...." etc. Heh. smile.gif

Edit again....clover (this time!), I agree. I think we spend a lot of energy justifying many of our choices. I know there are bad relationships I've done this with, when I'm not yet ready to end those relationships! I've spent a lot of time trying to justify staying in a job that makes me miserable, too, and it's hard to admit that I'm still there mainly because it pays the rent. But especially with's not like you can take back that choice, or ever really admit to making a mistake. I think I may have even posted on this before. Since parenthood becomes your primary function in the world (ESPECIALLY if you are a mother), and you are stuck with it for 18 years at a minimum, you have to validate the choice.

People do this with religion, too, I think. Religion is there to explain what happens in the world, and if there seems to be no explanation, then religious people validate it by saying it's god's will and god's will is unknowable. They HAVE to validate their problems and losses somehow because they cling to religion as the answer to every question.

(But then, I think many people genuinely love being parents, even when it gets rough going. After all, everything we do has rough patches - relationships, jobs, even hobbies!)
clover, that makes perfect sense, especially with something as generally irreversible as becoming a parent. Good point.

Time to bitch~every freaking morning, starting very early, there are always several small children somewhere outside of my boyfriend's bedroom window-I think they live in the building next door, and they are on the balcony. They are CONSTANTLY screaming and crying. I worry a little sometimes that the parents are hitting them or something because of how much they scream and cry-as if they were being hurt. I have really never heard so much upset noises coming from children on a regular basis. I can't see them though when I look out the window, I think they are just beyond the side of our building. Even with the windows closed, they are loud enough to wake me up. I could get over some moderate child noise, but it is literally every several seconds that one of them lets out a rabid shriek. I'm looking forward to winter so at least they will stay inside..
"she went on and on about the morning sickness and the pain all being worth it. She claimed you forget everything once you see thier faces."

Whatever. Moxette may end up an only child because i had such a shitty pregnancy. I love her, i love being her mother and seeing her grow and develop. I hated being pregnant. I hated labor and delivery. I hated recovery. They were icky at best, and a serious strain on my marriage most of the time. Being parents is great (honest, I swear, for us it really is!), being "almost parents" sucks.

My SIL, who had a horrible first pregnancy, was pregnant with her #2 while I was pregnant with #1. Again, really sick, tired, etc. I asked her if she had "forgotten" the first experience. She said, "yeah, in a moment of feeling sorry for the #1 being an only child, wine and what seemed like a good idea. I'm getting fixed when this one comes out." And, she's about the best damed mom I know.

It will take a whole lot of convincing and rationalizing for me to ever do that again.
geez. my (younger, only) brother's in his twenties and my mom can still recall, in very specific detail, how excrutiatingly sick she was when she was pregnant with him. hell, I still remember how excrutiatingly sick she was - I was six, totally old enough to know what was going on, and I remember thinking: this does not look like something I want to have happen to me. watching your mom hurl/cry/fly off the handle/have to stop working for so many months makes a big impression, even though she kept telling me she hardly felt sick at all during her first pregnancy (me).

now don't get me wrong, the brother's awesome, we're all happy he's here. but when he was little and in obnoxious phases, crayoning on walls or whatever, my mom would sometimes be heard saying "and for THIS I spent four months throwing up?!"

in happier news, I just moved from a neighborhood TEEMING with babies, primarily the spoiled rotten yuppie ones who threw things from their $2,000 strollers while their indulgent/ignorant parents sipped lattes and chuckled, to a quieter hood that seems to have a higher proportion of adults with grown children/senior citizens/childfree 20- and 30-somethings. can I say, it is such bliss to walk to the deli without having to dodge a stroller obstacle course? and to walk down my stoop and not see a gaggle of drool factories lined up outside my door as their mommies chitchat about how good help is so hard to find? I don't think I have had a child throw anything at me in a store in weeks! yay!! doing groceries is fun again!
My mom never talks about her pregnancies with any of us but she loves to tell war stories about her deliveries, mostly beacause we were all really big babies (7 -10 lbs). Frankly pushing a parasite out of my cooch scares the hell out of me, so I will never do it. When I get maternal urges I get them for puppies and kittens. I feel like running out to the animal shelter and adopting a wide eyed bouncing baby boy named fido.

Ranty rant rant:

flying frog, I hear you about the kids in the grocery store. I used to go grocery shopping on Saturdays and Sundays but I had to stop, it was just too stressful. I live in an area with a moderate hispanic population and a massive number of Mormons. I can't be in the grocery store with hundreds of sprogs hanging off the grocery cart like drooling devil horned attack monkeys. They are everywhere, and they don't stay near their parents. I almost killed one almost every time I went shopping. I have to shop on friday afternoon so I can avoid the ungodly number of demon spawn diving under the wheels of my shopping cart. They scream, oh gawd do they scream. ususally things like MOMMY I WANT SOME POPSICLES! I am a big fan of duct tape and those child leash thingies, or leaving the little bastards at home. This illustrates the inordinate number of numbskulls using lax parenting methods. When I go grocery shopping I want it to be a relaxing experiance.

I'm so pissed off that I am looked down upon because I hate children and I expect children to be seen and not heard. I hate the fact that I'm a lesser member of society because I am choosing not to have children. People are constantly second guessing my decision. I hate having to be polite to the people treating me like a lesser person and the people second guessing me. I think next time I won't be polite.
I shop at 8am on Saturday or Sunday mornings, right when the grocery store opens...not necessarily because of kids, as there aren't wild numbers of them in stores here usually, but mostly, because I don't like crowds, and the people who push their carts around the store completely unaware of their surroundings or other people trying to get down the aisle.

I guess I don't feel quite as maligned for not having kids, living in chicago - there are LOTS of people in big cities without kids, so its not such a big deal. Going to visit family in MI, I do feel more conspicuous as a non-breeder, 'cause suburbs are made for families. I'm not sure how I would feel - good or bad, living in a place that was much more child-centric.
oh deschatsrouge, I get maternal urges for dogs and cats, too! mr. frog and I are those people who walk by the park so we can check out the pets and coo like idiots... the adorablest baby in the world could march past us and we'd be like, move it, brat, you're blocking our view of the spaniels!

and turbo, I think you're right. it's tons easier to be childfree in a big city (I'm in nyc) - I have a wide range of friends here (single, childfree 4 life, childfree for the time being, and those laden down with diapers - and they never want to hang out any more anyway, so I just don't see them). but whenever I'm back in my small hometown, if I ask how so-and-so is doing, or what old-classmate-pal is up to, all I hear is, "oh, she had the baby last winter! that's number two! isn't that WONDERFUL?! isn't that AMAZING?! and what about you?" it creeps me out a bit. and there is a very, very evil little part of me that always wants to shoot back with something obnoxious like "I've been working my ass off on my master's degree, but I'm sure those diapers are REALLY FASCINATING for old-classmate-pal!" eek. so evil. so evil. different choices for different people. I know. I do control myself, I swear.
oh my gawd I love this thread. You guys (deschats, flyingfrog, turbo) are describing exactly how I feel. I was at the park the other day and this couple gets out of a van w/ five (5) little golden retriever puppies all on leash. they were going for a little walk. it was sooooooooooo cute I was freaking out. sometimes when people ask me if I have any kids I say yes and then show them a pic of little clover. they usually don't get it.
Argh. You know, usually little kids don't bother me, because I really don't come across too many in my neighborhood. I was in the laundromat today, and already stressed out and post-panic attack and there were two little girls SHRIEKING and SQUEALING at each other...I was ready to beat them myself. I understand needing to bring your children on errands, really. But would it kill you to toss a coloring book or something in your bag to keep them entertained? The laundromat is boring! I felt bad for feeling annoyed, as other city noise doesn't bother me at all. Give me a dump truck and a siren and traffic jam horns any time, but child-sounds send me off.


Doesn't help that the students are all back and the first years are so terribly agog at the fact that they're in a city...they travel in packs and block the sidewalks because they must all gape at the new and wondrous. Gosh, I am cranky today!

ha, flyingfrog, Mr.Luci and I go to Tompkins Square most Saturday mornings to dogle. Best dog park evah!! Except when people are literally dangling infants OVER the fence of the big dog section. What the hell, people??? Trying to Darwin your kid out of existence already??

Blah, again.

Puppylust in full force today. Cavalier King Charles spaniel sighting, and a pit bull mix at the coffee truck jumped up and used me as leverage because he wanted to get closer to the source of his treats. So damn cute!
luci, clover, frog, I have got your antidote for the annoying people blues! Puppy porn!!

check this out!

Ok, the golden puppy is my FIL's brand new pupper, Jake, who is unbearably cute - he just came home on Saturday.

The pomeranian puppy is my BFF's, her name is Zoey, also 9 weeks old, and also came home on saturday, and is just too adorable for words...she looks more like a stuffed animal, or gerbil, than a dog. The funny thing there is that its actually her big macho BF, who wanted the Pom, she wanted a medium sized mutt....I love that!
Oooooooh...he looks so dignified, sitting in the garden like that. So serious! And that pom is just. Gah. No words adequate to describe.

*coos and gurgles and passes out*
hooray for puppies!! I just want to take that little goldie and squeeze the stuffing out of him!!
The Puppy porn made my urterus twitch. I'm having the worst maternal urges right now.
Chihuahuas remind me of fuzzy mosquitoes...

I want a Schipperke. One of my puppers is a black spitz and Schipperkes look like mini versions of her...

I miss my dogs...

In other news, vaguely childfree-related but also just feminist, my darling elder brother just got picked up by an actual production company with a budget (!) to write and direct one of his zombie movies (his way of breaking into the business; think like Ed Wood, but lucid and talented). He was telling me about it and said, "And guess what? My main character is a woman and she doesn't get raped, or murdered, or married, or have kids at the end. The movie just ends without any of that crap."

I lurve my brother. He's so smart. biggrin.gif

Awwww.....luci, your brother sounds great - and I might actually watch his zombie movie, where I won't watch any of the others out there, because of said rapes, maimings and murders.

Schipperkes are so cute, and saying their name is so fun, it makes them even cuter - Schipperke! Schipperke! Schipperke!
If I go the purebred route for my next dog, I want to do either an Irish Terrier or a Schipperke- those are my favorites!
Um, hi my name is sybarite and I don't have a dog... smile.gif Up puppy love!

I had a pregnancy scare this week. For no reason, we are careful, just my body was playing tricks on me. It made me realise how very much I don't want a child, but also how much my position makes it that much harder to 'defend' that decision should I accidentally get pregnant. I mean, I'm in my 30s and in a good relationship; we're engaged for the love of mike.

It makes sense to me to be childfree and I believe for my mister; our lives are full enough. But faced with a potential situation I realised how hard it would be to defend (deep breath) a termination. I may post more about this elsewhere, but I felt trapped and *terrified* when I thought that, for whatever reason, I may have to go through with having a child. (No-one's making me go though anything, but there is my partner to consider; longer story).

I'm just saying the situation brought how much I truly do not want a child home to me. I am careful as I can possibly be but maybe I should look at other measures; I don't want to be in this situation again.
Ugh, syb, that is so scary!!!! I know what you mean about the "what to do in case of unplanned pregnancy" thing...of course it wouldn't be a disaster if you or I accidentally got pregnant, but its not something I desire in any way. And I work at an adoption agency, for maude's sake...some of us childfree play the "what if" game, and I'm the only one who says I would seriously consider placing the child...and I woulds choose a nice gay couple, for sure. tongue.gif

At the dog park tonight, this pack of boys came in, which is always the wrong answer, as half of them are afraid of dogs, and wouldn't you know, one of them got scared and let a black and tan setter out (which is fast), and I *barely* caught one of the other greyhounds by its fur, and not much else. Fucking kids. My heart was in my throat, and with only a slight edge of BITCH, asked all of them to leave the park, with me opening the gate for them. They never have parental supervision, mostly they don't even wear shoes. The youngest one is probably 4 years old. I do not need to be their babysitter. It was then that I felt the power of my decision not to grace the planet with children.

Stay strong, syb, and check into your bc options!
Turbo, you definitely did the right thing! It's rediculous to let children out roaming around w/ no parental supervision. They don't have brains to negotiate the world with yet. some never acquire them wink.gif I'll bet others were afraid to say anything, huh? i swear the world wants everyone else to parent their children.
I have a question. I am committed (now more than ever) to being childfree. I am careful as hell, precisely because of the potential dilemna I perceive I may face if accidentally (fucking yikes) I get pregnant.

I can understand if no-one responds to this, but what would you do, if you were committed to being childfree and got pregnant?

(Thanks turbojenn! It was fucking scary)
I really don't know for sure. That's why I have all the anxiety about not screwing up the screwing. blink.gif
Oh, vacuum my uterus, please. I cannot fathom being pregnant and I could see heading to Canada or overseas if necessary, however much such an action would temporarily impoverish me. I could not carry a fetus and then give birth. Uh-uh.

Hee. Just had this conversation with Mr.Luci, post-coitus. "Your semen has no affect on me! Ha ha ha!!"

However, In the hypothetical dystopia in which abortion is not available ANYWHERE, I have a horrid feeling that having gone through those nine months and assuming a successful birth and no death for either me or fetus, I would have to keep said infant. I'm emotional and anxiety-prone by nature, and my big fuzzy heart for all things helpless would probably render me a pathetic gooey mess of love for hypothetical baby and I wouldn't be able to give it away. Assuming a solid support system, because without that, I would probably wind up killing it.

Although it creeps me out just writing that. Better it not exist in the first place, hence, the abortion.
lucizoe, I am with you. i would definitely have an abortion but if i weren't to have one for some reason, i would not give up my baby. i would simply pay someone else to mother it until it turned an age that i could handle it better (maybe 10 or so?) just kidding.
sybarite, not to get too personal but are you on any form of birth control right now?
hehe..there was a great comic on Comedy Central tonight, bitching about the smoking ban in bars, saying that he doesn't go into Chuck E Cheeses and yell "Hey Kids! Shut The Hell Up!" The idea of doing that amuses me too much.

I would get an abortion. There would be no considering the issue. If I were pregnant, I would do it immediately. I don't want to ever have to do it, but I would if I had to.

And I wouldn't feel bad about it. In the first trimester, it is a collection of cells with no central nervous system and no conscious. I feel more guilty about killing an insect than I would about having an abortion in the 1st trimester. However, I still would not want to do it because of the cost and hassle of the procedure itself. Hey, I'm a cold, soul-less monster!

And BTW, JesusFreak-I have you ignored, as I hope everyone else on here does, so don't even bother preaching.
I agree w/ you humanist about the first trimester abortions. what I don't get is when people wait until the very last minute and sometimes beyond to get one. I couldn't handle that. Not so much from a moral standpoint but just from a human standpoint. that's just disturbing. I think if abortions were illegal in the future we would have more women dying from illegal abortions like there were in the past. it's just a very sad prospect and a lot of the religious folks don't take that into consideration.
end rant.

okay, so i went w/ a friend out to eat w/ her two kids the other day. they are 3 and 5. OMG. it was rediculous. her littlest one would run up to you in the middle of your meal and scream in your face for no apparant reason whatsoever. not funny. not to mention they threw no less than three tantrums an hour. i don't get it. and to think, i get to go home to my quiet little puppy and she has to take those demons home w/ her! i am so lucky.
I am on the mini-pill, which has been serving me faithfully for years. I skipped a period though and panicked... I think the degree of fear I had reflects the stregnth of my conviction about this.

It is reassuring to read your responses; I would have wanted a termination but would have to talk to the mister. I wouldn't underestimate his perception being different if something *actually* happened, so I just don't know.

I'm going to stop thinking about this now. I wonder if the mister would consider a vasectomy? Hmmm.
I'm with humanist and lucizoe- I would get the abortion and only rue the cost and hassle, but if I was 100% unable to get it, I would probably find myself unable to part with the baby once I had it. And I would be the most anal, obsessive parent in the world.

By the way lucizoe- I know that your user picture is a kitty's nose but everytime I see it out of the corner of my eye I have to do a double take because it looks vaguely pornographic! smile.gif
Heh, Kitty Porn!!!

I think the main issue with late terminations (the vast, vast, vast majority of which are performed on women who planned to carry their pregnancy to term and something horrific went wrong) is access. Sometimes women have to wait because their partners are abusive, or they live in an area where they cannot easily obtain one, they can't afford one, they can't get time off of work to travel, they have other children and childcare is a problem. The forced-birthers have effectively made abortion impossible to obtain for many many people simply because of geography and economics.

I wish people with too much cash and exposure (like Paris Hilton) would grow a clue and throw money at worthy causes like foundations to cover expenses like that. That's where my hypothetical millions would go, in addition to all the lawsuits I would bring against the government...but privileged people so rarely realize that most of the world doesn't live like them.
I really don't know what I would do. I'm in a committed, long-term relationship, and I think I am about 90% sure I'd have an abortion. There's that 10% though....the bigger issue would be how to deal with Le Boy- he's the one with the major pregnancy anxiety, to the point where we had to go to couples therapy to be able to have sex. He was raised Catholic (in a relatively liberal Catholic church, but Catholic none-the-less) and he is pro-choice theoretically, but it's different when it comes to his own life. I think I'd agonize more over how to (and even if I should at all) tell him that I was going to do it, and I don't know how he'd react. And as horrible as it sounds, the idea of not telling him at all has crossed my mind. I know that I should, and I should be able to tell him, but if it ever came down to it, I really don't know if I would.

I really believe if I were to get pregnant I would abort. I can't say for sure, b/c I hate to make a huge desicion like that when I am not actually in the situation. Like a lot of you, I would definately take care of it right away, though early on in the first trimester. If I absolutely, I had to have the baby, I don't think I could give it up, either. Like cloverbee, I'd just pay someone to take care of it till it was like 10 or so(lol) People have asked me what I would do if I did get pregnant, and I usually say I would have an abortion. A few of them respond no, just have the baby and give it to me. That kind of creeps me out for some reason. I have never wanted kids and never feel any motherly urges. But, I'm the paranoid type and I would worry like mad what happened to the kid and how they were being raised. I hope that make sense?

humanist77, your new avatar made me chuckle.
Ginger, the thought of giving the baby to my friend who really wants one crossed my mind. In some ways, it seemed like a decent solution; she really wants a child, I really do not, and I know she'd make a good mum. But as you say, it would still be biologically mine and I'd have access to it and would know how it was growing up... which I think ultimately would be too hard to cope with. I'd be sticking my oar in too and would probably drive my friend bananas. Also, it would be really hard and confusing for the child.

It is funny what you think of though, and with so many people desperately wanting babies... getting rid of mine seems harsh in one sense. Also, if we weren't all so tied to the idea of the nuclear famly the above scenario wouldn't seem so outlandish.

But thankfully this is all hypothetical. Sorry if I'm thread-hogging; this just really put my life and decisions into some perspective, so I'm thinking aloud (as it were) here.
helloT, I am with you on that as well-if I were forced to raise any child, mine or another, I would be the best parent in the world. I wouldn't want to have to do it in the first place, but in this hypothetical situation, I still am human. But this is still in the hypothetical situation where I would be forced to actually raise it. In a more realistic situation, where I'd only have to give birth, I'd definitely give it up, but only after interviewing each potential parent extensively and making sure they would raise it like I would in that hypothetical situation.

hehe, thanks, ginger!
I know that if someone close to me died sometime in the future and left their children in my care, I'd do the whole parenthood thing with 110% of my energy and make sure to be the best damn mom ever (my sister finds this assertion doubtful because of my childfree stance, but I really would do it). That being said, if I were to find ever get pregnant, I'm 99.99% positive I'd go for the abortion. And when I told my mom and sister this, they went berserk. So...the hypothetical abortion would have to stay on the down-low and no one in my family would probably ever know. Sad, but true.
faeritails, i love your little toaster pic!!!!!
bumpity bump bump for the real CBC thread.

Happy Labor Day, and may ya'll never go into labor! heh.

Our plans for an early long bike ride with friends, with brunch to follow were squashed by this ugly rainy day. But, I'm making brunch anyway. so there!
I work at the gas station less than a mile away from the county fair and today was the only nice day this weekend so it was PACKED. My entire hick town was one huge traffic jam and some people were parking far back and walking. I was at work all by myself with a never-ending line of rude out-of-towners and skanky carnies and this guy comes in with 4 boys, cuts the line and interrupts my transaction with a customer to ask if I could watch his kids while he went to get his car. I said no. I'm not a babysitter, I'm way too busy, and if something happened to them I'm not getting sued over it. He got pissy and huffed out of the store and 5 minutes later those boys walked. The asshole left them in the parking lot. I fel tlike calling the cops and getting him arrested for neglect.

What kind of parent leaves their kids with a complete stranger? Just because I work there doesn't mean I'm not some weirdo or that I'm actually going to watch them. Fucking breeders.
Just got back from the BBQ at Le Boy's parent's house....ugh, 5 little kids under the age of 5. I love my nephews and Le Boy's cousin's daughters, but after 4 hours of the whining, crying and the kid-centered conversations I was sooooo ready to get out of there. The younger ones were actually considerably quieter than the older's only a matter of time before they catch up, though....I'm dreading that. There will basically be no point in going to family functions at their house. As the only childless people there, we're basically ignored now. Can't imagine how it will be when there's (at least) five kids who are mobile and can talk, demanding attention. We'll just sit in the corner, having an adult conversation, using profanity, thanks.

Le Boy's mom just gets so annoying- she tries to be uber-grandma and it just whips the kids into frenzies. They have a full-size trampoline that probably takes at least 45 minutes to set up. My oldest nephew threw a fit when it wasn't set up and grandma actually considered putting it together, even though the kids were only going to be there another hour or so and it was about to rain. As soon as my nephew saw that she almost caved on the issue, then grandpa knocked some sense into her ("Um, no, I'm not going to set that up!") my nephew just lost it.

They're living birth control, I tell ya. rolleyes.gif and i just spent a lovely child free weekend in prescott AZ with his parents--so nice....we even went a local street fair with tons of kids and dogs....i kept pointing out the dogs saying 'oh how cute!' even though i know dad is not fond of kids questions came nice. even though there were tons of opportunities for his mom to mention, she didn't. so nice.

however we did get home to our 'baby' jake(our cat) and he snuggled with me all nite.

if i accidentally got preggers....hmmmm dunno. i would have to talk it over with and it would be our decision. 85% of me says its mine to make the decision but 15% says talk to the hubby cuz he helped with the issue. but i would probably go to the doc, get a plan b, take care of it that way. Cuz i figure i'm losing brain cells as it is...i don't wanna loose more by having a kid. amongst other reasons.
I know we have all talked about hating the whole,"you'll understand when you're a parent....everything changes...." crap before. Anyway, today at work I was chatting with a guy who's constantly spewing comments like to me b/c I don't have kids.

And normally I don't really say much I just roll my eyes. But I told him off a bit today. He was going on and on about that stuff, and about how having dogs isn't the same. He has dogs and he hates them and wants to get rid of them, b/c he claims he has no time. He was saying you can't bond with a dog, they have tiny little brains, and people that feel really close to thier dogs are just looking for something that will love them. Needless to say I was irked so I just walked away, but I had to work w/ him again later so he starts telling me how much coke he did over the weekend and how he was totally wasted.

I said, "I wonder if you took all the money you spend on coke and put it in a savings account for your kid, if you could maybe send him to college or something so he doens't end up like you....But I guess I probably don't understand, since I don't have kids and all. The sacrifices you have to make are just beyond my understanding." I could tell it pissed him off so I was really proud of myself.

But I'll never understand why having kids makes some people think they are entitled to be so preachy despite thier own short-comings.
Go ginger kitty! That is too funny (and really sorta sad!)
You can't bond with a dog? wtf? That's crazytalk.

Thank maude I have my nuvaring - so I feel pretty confident that an accident won't happen. But if it does? Thank maude pt. 2, plan B is available over-the-counter. Look, even if we WANTED to have a kid right now (and we don't), we couldn't afford it. I don't have health insurance. I couldn't pay for all the checkups and tests and prenatal vitamins, I couldn't pay for a hospital stay, I can't afford to take any time off for sickness or delivery. It just isn't possible. I mean, I guess if an accident did happen, knock wood, I would personally feel better about simply giving a kid up for adoption. My mom was put up for adoption, and that has always made me think... but not only can I not afford to keep a kid, I really can't afford to have one at all. Simply not an option.

(On a much lighter note, I sometimes like to tell Mr. Frog about the horrible deaths his sperm die when they encounter the Power of the Ring... either they suffocate in thick mucous or they frizzle from the inhospitable pH... sometimes I mimic their little screams... okay, I know it's weird, but I find it hilarious.)

Oh. There was a woman at the gym yesterday morning. She came in with two toddlers, they chased each other around the exercise machines while she tried in vain to herd them into the daycare downstairs. Ugh. People were glaring, and she didn't even apologize, and after she pulled them off the machines and detached them from her legs, she proceeded to climb on a stairmaster and spend the next 35 minutes yapping loudly to her friend about the finer points of child-rearing. I had my ipod turned up all the way but I could still hear her going on and on about their Development and their Activities. I mean, whatever, maybe she's happy that way. But I had yet another very intense Glad to Be Childfree Moment.

Wouldn't there be a problem with using Plan B as a backup to a nuvaring (or other hormonal BC) in that if the sperm did manage to connect with the egg, you wouldn't know about it until you missed a period or whatever and then it would be too late for Plan B....of course, if you continued to take whatever form of hormonal BC, while you were unknowingly pregnant, wouldn't that screw stuff up, too?

I don't know a whole lot about how the Nuvaring works- does it go throughout your system, or just kill sperm on contact at your cervix?
flyingfrog-that's fucking hilarious about imagining his sperm dying a horrible death. Love it! Hee hee:)

ginger kitty-AWESOME comeback! Wowzah! Good for you for saying that, too. The nerve of this guy judging you for not having kids. Love it, love it.

my dude and i were watching "an inconvenient truth" and they showed the population explosion, and my dude leans over and rubs my belly-which is what i always do when i'm thankful for my IUD and for being childfree. it was great, i love that he's rubbing the iud too:)
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