Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Childfree by Choice!
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Friends and Family
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Aug 15 2007, 08:00 AM) *
She patted you on the head???? What are you 2??? Or an animal of some sort. I would have freaked out on that woman. Then I would have gotten staff to get her to leave. How inappropriate!!!!!

Why would you take your children to a scary movie?? Would you take your children to see The Exorcist??? I say that because it is hands down the scariest move I've ever seen in my life...if your kids have nightmares and you are up all night, then you deserve it for not using your fucking brains.

CH, she said batted, not patted- that's so much worse. What a freaking psycho.

I remember there was a piece on NPR awhile ago, from this woman who went to see the latest version of King Kong, which from what I hear was pretty gory. There was a father and daughter, about 6 years old, a few rows away and the daughter was visibly freaked out, clinging to her dad's arm, burying her head in his chest, and he just ignored her, pushing her away. He ended up walking out about 2/3 through the movie. The commentator heard the daughter ask, "why are we leaving, daddy?" to which the man of brilliance hissed back, "because you won't freaking shut up!" The commentator was just amazed at the selfishness of some parents and how some parents just don't have the sense to protect their kids from stuff.
Oh, Hee hee. that's pretty rude regardless!

Polly, what an asshole that father is! Just reaffirms that some people loose their fucking brains with they have kids!

On the other side, I went out to a rather touristy spot a few weeks ago and there was a mother who had two kids and they had pizza, and mom said watch your pizza because if you drop it you aren't eating lunch. She wasn't mean about it, but she wasn't coddling her children either and was putting responsibility on them.

I had a similar experience to CH today. Mum and Grandma with 2 girls on my train (probably aged about 4 and 6). The kids started getting fractious (which was understandable - where I work, Brighton, is a busy seaside resort, and they had clearly had a looooong day!), and mum was like "let's play the quiet game! Whoever stays quiet longest wins!" And after that the girls were pretty well behaved and pleasant. I just think, it goes to show - bring 'em up to respect others and they will be a credit to you. Most of the problematic children I encounter seem to have been very over-indulged.
As I was about to leave work today this woman and child came in. I'm not sure if the woman was the mother or not, because she kept talking to the child in a really loud voice, explaining/narrating every little thing. The kid wasn't listening and didn't care. Usually the actual parents of a child don't do that. It was irritating either way.
My new neighbors have loud kids. I thought they just had one fairly quiet boy at first, but now every afternoon there are three or four kids next door. They drive me crazy!! If I am outside they start asking me a ton of questions, and just chattering away. My hubby is less patient than myself, and I think he is about to snap!
OMG, Ginger Kitty, I HATEHATEHATE it when kids ask you questions! Ok, I know I sound like a cranky old fart, but I am no good at all interacting with kids from about 4-12 years of age. Especially that 6-9 window. I don't like em, they don't neccessarily speak coherent English, and they have no concept of social interaction. I was sitting at the coffeeshop one time reading Transmetropolitan (a very ADULT graphic novel if you didn't know), and this little girl comes up to me, her idiot mom and gramma just grinning away like it's oh so cute, and she's like "Hi! My name is Whatever! I have a kitty! Do you have a kitty!" And I was like, um. Yes. I have a kitty. And tried to go back to reading my (again, very ADULT with highly ADULT graphical content) graphic novel, and she just wouldn't leave. God, little girl, take a freaking hint. It's not cute, it's invasive and annoying and it's not my job to babysit your kid. Yeesh.

Cause, like, god forbid she would have caught a glimpse of the ADULT content of my ADULT graphic novel, you know, then I'd be the villian. GAH. ~headdesk~
Phobia, here's the kicker, some parents would have yelled at you for reading something like that. It's like making a stink about porn on tv, well maybe you should fucking parent your children and not expect those who make porn do it. What do you expect with a title called Anal Adventures 5? Morons.

I also hate it when children ask me that kind of thing. I also hate it when children talk to me and I don't know what they are saying. I'm thinking WTF are you saying kid?
HAhaha....Culturehandy -- or when parents think (gods help us) animated = cartoon for kids. Yeesh.
And it's always everyone else's fault for not informing the parents. Ummm, if a cartoon is on at midnight, clearly, not for kids!
Movie theatres need to enforce ratings on films. Films are given ratings precisely so kids won't get scared, or see too much gore, because they shouldn't be allowed in. Or kept up until midnight for that matter. Over and over I hear about what you all describe below: kids at inappropriate movies who then simply react appropriately: cry their eyes out or otherwise freak out when things get too scary or strange for them.

One of the worst times for me was watching Lord of the Rings 3, when a young couple sat in front of us with their tiny child, she was maybe 3 or 4. The kid was whimpering steadily for the first 20 minutes of the film, at which point I leaned over and (politely) said, 'I'm sorry, but I think she's scared.' The parents seemed embarrassed and one of them took the kid out.

Parents to be, having young kids means not bringing them out at night. Get a bloody babysitter or stay at home. You can watch films on DVD at home anyway!
Parents have to be parents and not rely on everyone else for their common sense.

No one is telling parents to stay at home, but like syb sid, get a babysitter and don't bring your kid to a Robert Rodriguez flick! Get some common sense.
There are some theaters around here that don't allow children in at all, no matter what movie, after 6:00. They tend to be the higher-end art theaters who probably don't show too many kids movies anyway, but I would love it if more did that! Besides paying $10 to see a movie, that's half the reason I rarely see movies in theaters anymore. But maybe if there were no kids in the theater to ruin the movie for me, I would pay the $10 to see the movie. mad.gif
Nothing adds to a riveting movie like a screaming child. My favourite.

I'd love it if mainstream theatres would not allow children in after a certain time. Same thing with mouthy teenagers.
Yeah, I was talking to my good friend (the one who's preggers again ohmy.gif), and she was commenting about her cousin and her way of "raising" her kid. Aparently, this gal and her husband just don't like to argue, and don't think their kid should have a schedule and should be some kind of free spirit who goes to bed when s/he wants. And of course the kid shouldn't have to have a set bedtime because, and I shit you not, "if I'm out somewhere or at a friend's house, I don't want to have to cut my evening short to come home and put the kid to bed." Um, yeah. Having kids means you don't get to keep your life the way it was before kids. It means lots and lots of changes and a decrease in freedom and that you have to dedicate your life to someone who's not you. If you didn't want to do all that, there are a wide variety of contraceptives on the market. Use them.

You know what breaks my heart about this? Is that the kid is probably going to grow up to be super fucked up and into drugs and dropping out of school (because nobody ever told him not to), and the parents aren't going to know WHAT to do about it because they never learned any parenting skills, and this kid is going to have this fucked up shitty life that s/he did nothing to deserve! It's so unfair that this kid is going to be punished for his/her entire life because the parents were dumbasses. Gah.

Also, Why! Is! This! News!
Wow, they actaully said they don't want to be home to take care of their child? ummm, okaaaaaaaaaaaay then. Isn't that your role as a parent? Babies don't just pop out with all worldly knowledge in their brain.

I heard about that baby thing. Four identical quads. Meanwhile Hurricane Dean fucked up Jamaica and the Caribbean pretty bad...
I was kind of relieved that Dean swerved away. I'm flying down to south Texas today, and for a while there I thought my flight would end in Atlanta where they'd force us to sit out the hurricane. Then again, having lived most of my life like 5 miles from Mexico, I do feel really bad for the areas that got hit. They really don't have the resources to deal with a category 5. A lot of those homes are little rickety tin shacks.

As for those parents who don't want to take care of their kids...whoa. That's insane. Kind of reminded me of my brother, actually. He had a kid with this girl, and throughout the pregnancy they were fighting over the kid and custody and stuff. Now that the baby is born, my bro does see him and keep him over at the house every other weekend or so. But I told him that he should try and get the baby every weekend so that if it does go to court they could see that he's had an active roll so far. And he was just like, "dude. i kind of like my weekends to myself." As much as I hate the girl for all the shit she put my bro through, I'm like, "No shit. How do you think she feels?" *sigh*

...I am glad I finally get to meet my little nephew, though. He'd BETTER have him over at the house this weekend or I'll kick his ass.
i know i don't post in here much, but something tells me you'll find this mildly amusing... i snorted tea, if that helps. Bullet-Proof Baby including the fabulous "my first riot helmet". Because your average 2.4 american family lives in a war zone. Although the first time I saw the words "toddler taser" I did think a taser you could use on irritating toddlers might be a good thing. wink.gif

cinemas here used to be pretty strict about the age limits on films, but they've been getting laxer it seems. either that or I'm getting old. Just because the kid isn't old enough to follow the plot, doesn't mean they're not going to be scared...

I like the testament underneath the $600.00 stroller!!!! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha

My baby survived a freak hunting accident last fall thanks to this amazing bullet proof stroller.. We all feared the worst but my darling Trevor was unharmed. Highly recommended!”

Stacy Weaver, Texas

This has got to be some sort of joke!

I actually think it really is a joke - other than their company t-shirts. The "testaments" are ridiculous. And did you notice all the items happen to be "out of stock".

YAY, another hilarious Onion article!
humanist, smile.gif

My new neighbors have three kids and are driving me crazy!!! They seem to think it's okay to let them do whatever they want. Everyday the kids run around screaming(playing is one thing but these little monsters scream at the top of thier lungs for hours), playing in all the neighbors yards. I've had to kick them out of my front garden a couple times. A bunch of the homeowners, including my myself, are annoyed and trying to figure out what to do. Luckily, I am surrounded by mostly people without kids, so it's usually a quite, laid back street.

ginger, there are kids just like that who sit out on the balcony next to my bf's bedroom window for several hours everday-and they SCREAM NON-STOP. As you said, laughing and playing would be okay, but they are constantly screaming, like they're scared, or angry, and crying. Even though I have not had much experience with children, I know the amount they scream is not normal. I don't hear their parents yelling or hitting them, so I don't think they are abused, but they probably just aren't disciplined. Even so, the noises they make sound like they are upset. I have come so close to yelling at them to stop.
Humanist, I just abuot shot chocolate milk out my noes when reading that article.
I was visting an out-of-town friend this past weekend. She has an 18 month old. Oh my. While the child is really cute & fun, at the same much work!! Just the constant whining, how long it takes to do everything, I don't know if I can handle that. It made me rethink my plans to have children some day. I have no baby fever whatsoever. And no sign of any.
Yeah, it's bro has a 2 mo. old little baby boy...I was holding him the other day for hours, changed his diaper and mom apparently saw this and told my bro that I "just kept holding the baby and staring at him like I wished I had one." He he, I guess they simply don't want to understand. Had I wanted children, *nothing* would have stopped me from having them - I'd think they'd know that about me by now. ? I *LOVE* babies. I just don't want to be a mom. Is that *really* so *difficult* to comprehend? Apparently, it is. Okay? I love buildings and architecture too ... does that mean I'm going to go buy a bigash building of my own and maintain it and take care of it and rent it out and shite? HELL NO. I just like looking at them OKAY!?! But it's funny how it appears as though they'd rather see me as 'lacking' or 'in want of' a baby of my own to look after...wassup with that really!
I was wondering today how on earth people EVER grocery shopped before the invention of those big huge giant carts with seats for the kids? WTF are those? I'm damn sure my mom managed with me and my sister and a cart that actually, you know FIT IN THE AISLES. Good gods. Those and those stupid fucking SUV-style strollers. Get the fuck out of my way. That is all.
baby farts, baby spit up , etc. are not cute, they are gross. I was holding my one month old niece and she farted on me and spit up. I was not amused or enthralled at her bodily functions. Ughhh!
The one thing I don't like about looking after my niece and nephew: bath time.

'WAAAAH, WE'RE GOING TO SCREAM BECAUSE YOU'RE CLEANING US SO WE DON'T SMELL OF SHIT AND GET COVERED IN A RASH!!!! NOOO!!!' Notice, they scream when they're dirty too, nappy rash (still applies to the lad, the girl's loo trained by now) bloody hurts and children do know when they look bad, they're not thick.

The little girl is better with it than the lad, mostly because I bought her a Lush bath bomb for a birthday present and she threw it in and 'wooo'd' and 'aaahed' as it fizzed up. Then she realised that being clean could be fun...
Even so, even when they're being quiet, the thing I like least:

Cleaning baby / small child ass and genitalia.
I mean, URGH. This is the mum's job, really. I'm not at all a prude, but don't like putting my hands near some small child's glory hole. BLEURGH.
I would also like to know why it's so cute when babies throw up or poop. I mean, do we say the same about adults? When wasthe last time you threw up and thought, awwwwwwww how cute I must look this odd shade of green.
School has started and my hatred of school buses burns with the flame of a thousand suns.

Especially getting stuck behind the special needs bus on my way to work.

Really, my hatred of school buses is out of all proportion to the reality of how much they inconvenience me. I just...hate them so much!
School-related traffic has a major impact where I live; when schools are closed the rush hour traffic can be halved.

The mister's daughter was away so we were enjoying having the place to ourselves... until the mister's friend came over with his 5 year old. They parked her in the front room with the TV blaring kiddie crap, while they hung out in the kitchen. I closed the door as I didn't want to listen to the inanity, and she yelled that no! she wanted it open!

Um, not your house missy. I was pissed off, but she's 5 and spoiled and (thankfully) not mine, so I couldn't really do anything.

I really really want to discourage any idea that this house will become a kid-friendly zone amongst the mister's friends who have kids.
School buses are the worst kind of evil. I hate them! The elementary school near my house is so fucked up. Parents cannot pull into the parking lot to pick up their kids after school. So, every fucking mini van in the neighbourhood parks in the front of the school. Along a major transit route. So, parents park on both sides of the street, so buses can't get by, and parents (with thier little crotch fruit by their side) just wander into traffic! Then I am the one who gets dirty looks! Umm trying looking both ways before crossing the fucking street assholes. I don't want a ding in my car fgrom where I hit you.
ugh....a couple days ago, I was almost late to work b/c I ended up stuck behind a damn school bus. The driver wait literally 4 minutes for a kid that never came out of thier house!! I don't remember any bus driver waiting that long for me when I was in school.

Update on the rotten nieghbor kids next door, they have been teasing my dogs. I asked them to stop, they became mouthy. I was very snarky with them, and they wondered off. Anyway the next day, the kids were in my yard so I went out to shoo them out, and wasn't thinking about holding the door open. Well my normally sweet hound dog chased them into thier house, with them screaming the whole way. I was scared b/c I have never seen him like that around children, he was growling, showing teeth and his hair was up on his back. I apolized to the parents, because the kids ran screaming "she let her dogs out on us!!". I was really glad my pup didn't bite one of the kids, which he easily could have I think he was just trying to scare them, but I wasn't mad at my pup at all. I thought maybe they might have learned thier lesson but....The next day they were right back to taunting my I had a talk with thier mother and hopefully things are worked out.

I wish I lived on a child free street.
Ugh, school buses and school traffic. We lived three houses down from our elementary school, so while it was nice while we went there to not contribute to the traffic, it also meant that every fucking parking space on our block is taken any time there's a school function. I've had to park behind my parent's garage in the alley if there's a PTA meeting, school play, whatever.

Ginger, what obnoxious little twits. If things don't get better, I'd go and talk to the mom and approach it from a "my dogs aren't used to kids, he just wants to protect his territory and you and I both need to be responsible- you keep your kids out of my yard and I won't release the hounds." Which I know you weren't doing, Monty Burns-style! ETA: Sorry, I misread that- you did already talk to the mom. Well, hopefully that sticks!

So humanist and I were at a family wedding this weekend, and there's photographic evidence of her disdain for children:

That's my dad holding my cousin's baby, who was actually very cute and quiet as a mouse, most of the time. If they only stayed that way!
Hey childfree girlies,

I saw something yesterday that made me somewhat annoyed. I was watching Rachael Ray (yes, I'm job searching, home during the day and I like her cooking...). Dr. Phil was on as a guest. They were taking questions from the audience so this woman stood up and said that her son had just gotten married and she wanted grandkids and how/when could she start asking about their plans.

I was expecting Dr. Phil to say that it is very presumptuous and rude to ask, what he said was along the lines of "it will happen when it happens which will be the right time so asking won't make a difference". I thought it was very wrong advice. What if they plan not to have kids (the assumption is there that they will) or what if they are trying and having fertility issues which would be very painful to have the mom asking and asking.

Grrrr... to bad advice.

I think I'm rubbing off on hubby. We went into this marrage knowing that children are not a priority and neither of us felt strongly so we would figure it out as we go and if we decide on children - possibly adopt. We were walking the other day and he said, "why does everyone think it is their right to ask us about having children?" I guess two couples around our age asked us recently and he thought it was very rude.
If my parents started asking me to hae children, I'd tell them if they wanted more kids, why don't they adopt some.

As for the Dr. Phil advice, it seems that he did tell the mother to lay off, and it's true asking won't make a difference. At least in my opinion. I agree that it is rude to ask (and pressure) your children about having children of their own. You want something to control? get a plant.
QUOTE(culturehandy @ Sep 19 2007, 02:27 PM) *
You want something to control? get a plant.

Yes, or a very small yippy dog you can carry around in your purse.
On a political note, very often when discussions come up about women in power, or having a woman president for the U.S., I hear or read that some someone comments something like, 'If mother's ran the world thier would be no wars.' or something to the effect of women being nuturing or thier maternal instincts....blah blah blah....

Does this tick anyone besides me off? I mean why is it presumed that a women leader would be a mother? Why not a kick ass childfree for life president?

Just a thought.
Yes, that's one of the many favorite quotes of the pea-brained masses ~ (*how* observant, right?) ~ "GEE, if MOMMY were in charge there would neeeeeeeever be aaaaaany wars" (read with your best Homer Simpson voice).

These people obviously haven't met MY mother.

OR my father.

Dad's a practicing pacifist, she's a freakin' diehard battleax warmonger who knows only one way so look the f#&* out.

UGH! People piss me off. In the mornings I work with a humane society, and yesterday we had this day-long outdoor adoption event. Naturally, by the time we got back to the shelter, the cats were tired and frustrated and overstimulated.

As SOON as we put them back into their kennels, this lady with her little kid come up to the cages. Mind you, there are signs all over the place that say "Please do not tap on the glass." Well this kid just started pounding away and scaring the shit out the cats, and the mom was carrying her and laughing and thinking it was soooooo adorable. Someone went out and told them not to hit the glass and the mom looked all huffy, and of course as soon as the employee was out of sight she just let her demon child start smacking the glass again. I swear to god I wanted to smack them both.

And then a little later, after they left, this woman came by to pick up the cat she'd adopted (and we'd REALLY been trying to place that cat because her owner had died, and she wasn't doing too well at the shelter), and the cat bit the adopter! I think that's the cat the kid was pounding away at. I'm PISSED. So now the lady's supposed to come back tomorrrow or something to pick up the cat. I *hope* she comes back.
OMG faerie! Don't tap the fucking glass! I want to smack kids at the aquarium who do that! Grrrr! Especially the ones with parents who TAP THE GLASS! WTF, you should fucking know better asshole! But I guess since Joe Six Pack is so spechuuuul and his offspring is just the light of the world, the fucking RULES shouldn't apply....

Gawd, the other day I was on my way back home from the post office when I saw this woman with a daughter who I guess was probably about 4. And the kid was whining 'mummmmmmmyyyy, come on, I want to sing it againnnnnnnn........' and then the mother was wearily joining in singing some song that I guess was from some stupid kiddie tv show or something. The poor woman just looked drained. I just thought to myself what another great reason for not having kids - the tediousness of having to entertain them constantly.
There was something in the globe and mail about a woman who really really regretted having children. I'll see if I cn find a link to the article. I've got the hard copy at home.
Beth Ditto (heart!) writes an agony column in The Guardian here in the UK, I really liked her reply to this 'should I have babies' question:,00.html

Found it.
I read that Globe and Mail article and also the comments.
The comments pissed me off, a lot of comments about how ugly the lady is and how that means she should regret having children. Or how her children are brats. I can't remember 1 valid negative comment and don't remember many positive ones (i read this when it first came out, over a week ago). It made thoroughly pissed off with my fellow Canadians, esp cause you know most of them probably aren't ideal parents or look like supermodels.

Criticizing a women's appearance as to why she regrets having children is a new low, when will our appearance stop being the focal point of all of our decisions and opinions?
I agree that some people where so horrified that a woman regretted having children. Come on! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I should automatically want to breed. Fuck off. I also firmly believe that humans need to go extinct. Yes, I understand species survival, but I'm sure that if I don't have one child, the Duggars will make up for that.

Children aren't like clothes, it's not like you can say, jeez little Timmy, I don't like you, do I'm going to return you from where you came.
I can't get over everyone in those comments (although I only read a few) talking about how selfish she was. Why on earth is it selfish not to have children, or to not want to have children?

If I don't have any children so I spend all my money on myself, how am I being selfish? The child in question does not exist! If I have children and spend all my money on extravagent items for them am I not selfish then? It seems like I am because I'm probably doing it to make myself feel better - and probably spoil the child. What if someone decides not to have children but adopts unwanted pets or spends their free time volunteering - is that person then selfish?

I agree that society makes having children the be all and end all along with the huge home. And why does someone become the worst person in the world if they realize they were misinformed and actually don't like being a parent? It doesn't mean they won't do the best they can - they are just being truthful if that is the way they feel!
You are a bad person if you don't want kids, but I guess it's okay if I have children and hate them? How does that fucking make sense?
I'm back, I saw this quote and it really ticked me off:

"One philosophy I do share with her is that, it is ok for those who are not capable, those who are not willing to work hard, and those who are very selfish, to not have children; indeed it is better for society that those who hold such views do not have children."

So those of us who have actually thought long and hard about having kids and made an informed decision instead of getting knocked up are the incapable, selfish ones? I'm sure there are many families out there who thought long and hard and decided to have kids, but I'm sure there are many more couples out there who had children by accident without any forethought than couples who stayed childless by accident.

I'm probably just blabbing here - but I picture this quote above coming from someone who is not actually happy being a parent and is trying to justify it by saying she is stronger and a harder worker than those of us who have made the good decision to not have kids.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2016 Invision Power Services, Inc.