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to date, i've lost 50 lbs. i'm not officially on any type of "diet" although i'm trying to lose weight. i'd be quite pleased if i lost another 30 lbs., then i'd be at my ideal weight.

i'd be lying if i didn't say i struggled with disordered eating. i have for 10+ years and i seem to go through phases. 50 lbs (or 80lbs for that matter) might seem like a lot of weight to lose, but i was (and still am) overweight.

in the past when i've mentioned to people that i have restricted - that in essence that i have been anorexic - they seem bewildered. i guess it doesn't dawn on them that people of size struggled with disordered eating / eating disorders.

it's really hard now, because i'm trying to lose weight as healthy as possible. i walk to/from work every day, i've cut out any form of junk food, but i'm also not eating as much as i probably should.

it's hard when people come up to me and comment about what i look like now. i realize that they think they're being nice and saying how "good" i look, but it's beginning to fuckin' piss me off.

i wish people would mind their own fuckin' business. it drives me crazy, knowing that people are talking to me. for the last month or so, it seems like every other day, someone has something to say. and, when they ask me what i've done, i just tell them that i walk. it's none of their business what i really do/have done.

the truth of the matter is, the more people comment, the more i want to lose weight. these people commenting trigger negative behaviour.

my co-worker told me of a conversation she had with a woman who works in an office next door, who said to her, "it looks like bush_goddess" has lost a pile of weight." why would anyone in their right mind say that? how fuckin' rude is that? it made me wonder, what was i a pile of before ... shit?

this just goes to show that people need to mind their words and mind their own business. my body is my business, right? and, i don't feel like i'm harming myself.

although i know i'm restricting, it's not nearly as bad as it was years ago. does that make it better? ... probably not. i'm just more aware of what i'm doing and trying to do this the right way - the best way i know how - by not eating too much and stuffing my face until i'm about to explode. but, rather i'm only eating what i need, just before i'm full.

anyways, i'm not entirely sure if this is the right forum to post this in. please don't judge me ...
oh, bush goddess, congrats on your progress in the healthy mind set area. I lost thirty pounds a few years ago because I was taking appetite suppressants. I have since stopped taking them, put all that weight back on, and started the slow road to losing it again through diet and exercise (you know, the way that won't harm my body). I remember when I was lighter how certain women made a huge deal out of my weight loss. Congratulations mixed with envy "you look great, I'm so jealous!" It was disturbing, was I not as "great!" before? Struggling with weight is such a personal journey, but people so often lose weight for others instead of themselves, you know?
Hi ladies. . bush goddess congrats on the weightloss and I know exactly how you feel about pple and thier so called "compliments" Sometimes even though you are proud it can almost feel like a back hand to the face becuase pple are openly admiting that you didn't look so good before.
Anyways I felt the need to post a little something about my current situation becuase I think I need some words of encouragement and maybe some advice too! I apologize in advance for the length of the post. I'm a college student just done with my freshman year and wouldn't you know I gained like 20lbs. . forget the freshman 15 becuase I managed to beat it by 5 lbs! Yikes Well I've always been active playing lacrosse and volleyball throughout middle school and high school and dispite all the activity have been slightly over weight ( I'll admit it when I was active I was around 155 and 5'3") I wasn't pleased with myself then but now that I'm 20lbs heavier I realize how much better I was before.

My best weight happened to be around soph. yr in high school when I got my braces put on (so nothing but yogurt + baby food fruits) and had volleyball conditioning camp for a week straight for 4hrs a day. Not to mention that yr I was taking diet supplements which I knew weren't good for me but I managed to be a 140lbs.

Anyways long story short I'm now like 170 and not active at all b/c I don't play sports on a competative level b/c I'm trying to focus on school. A few days ago I asked my boyfriend of 3yr why his libido had slowed down and he wouldn't tell me and I basically forced him to tell me it was because I was now heavier. His exact words were "It's not bc your fat but you have gained some weight" Well after hearing those words my world came crashing down but I can't blame him b/c I knew it was never something he'd say in fear of losing me but i knew it was what he thought so I pestered him till he said it. It was almost as if I wanted him to say it so I could be motivated to change. . . and I did. . .for a while but it's not enough. I don't really know what to do b/c I've done a great job cutting down the portions and junk but have issues with the fitness. I'm unmotivated alone and I can't afford any real equipment or gym memberships. I get bored easily with running or walking and crave challenging aerobics and sports but can't really get that without having to shell out some cash.

Ladies I need help and ideas. Weightloss never was #1 on my list but it is now. I want to be 125 but realistically I know that would be impossible b/c I have a large cheast but if I could get the rest of my body to "look" 125 I'd feel great. I know you guys are going to tell me that if it's important I'd spend the cash but you have to understand that it is important but so is college tuition, car payments and cell phone bills. . .If you know what i mean!
azngirl, invest in a bicycle. you can burn about 600 calories an hour on a bike.

i've been on a new diet now for four or five days that includes bike riding. how long until i start to see results?
Hey Bush Goddess, that is great as long as you feel good. That is what matters most. Nobody here is going to judge you. There is a thread dedicated to Sizism in As The World Turns, if you'd feel more comfortable venting there, but here is fine too.

I know what you are talking about, I've lost a little weight recently myself and have been hearing some comments that make me want to stab people's eyes out. My sister had gastric lap-band surgery last year and there was a while where her coworkers were so out of hand with their remarks that she would call me up in tears, completely frustrated and hurt. People are assholes when it comes to other peoples bodies. Everyone is so hung up on their own perceived flaws, that it makes them feel better to pick on others.

I havent been on a diet per se, but I've had to cut out all refined white flour products and watch my sugar and fat in take because of gall bladder issues. That, swimming, and working out a couple times a week is helping me shed some of the weight, but not as fast as I would expect. I know that muscle weighs more than fat and all that jazz. I've always been overweight, and expect that I probably always will. My cholesterol and blood pressure are consistently good (trust me, the dr's are always *amazed* at this) so really, I just want to feel better and healthy and possibly be in better shape than I was. I will never be thin, nor would I really care to be.
Hey azn,
If you were into sports before (even if not), you should look into a pair of rollerblades. I love mine, and they aren't all that expensive--if you find a sale you can probably get a good pair for $100. It's a great way to exercise and they're a blast to use.
im really horrible at doing this, but just getting out there and walking for 1 hour and the whole entire time saying to myself, "i really hate walking, but i need to find something positive about it to keep me going because i need the exercise". or walk to work, cycle to work. play frisbee with the boy. etc. get moving as much as possible. little chunks of time are good. just bicycling around town before work, after, to see my boyfriend, etc. i get between 30 min and 60 min of exercise a day. if i walk, 2 hours. good luck!
im really horrible at doing this, but just getting out there and walking for 1 hour and the whole entire time saying to myself, "i really hate walking, but i need to find something positive about it to keep me going because i need the exercise". or walk to work, cycle to work. play frisbee with the boy. etc. get moving as much as possible. little chunks of time are good. just bicycling around town before work, after, to see my boyfriend, etc. i get between 30 min and 60 min of exercise a day. if i walk, 2 hours. good luck!
aaaaaah, technical problems = triple posts. grr.
azngirl248, the only reason I go to the gym is my workout buddy. She is rad, fun to talk to, but we get serious when it comes to exercise. Having someone to hold me accountable to show up made all the difference. She is way more hard core than I am (10ks, bike races, boot camp race?) but she is a supportive woman in my life. We also help each other out when it comes to getting all stupid about our bodies, you know "i'm so fat, why am I a failure, etc."
My suggestion is to get yourself a buddy: someone to walk, skate, bike, swim, whatever, with. Not to mention having an exercise buddy won't cost you a thing. Just make sure that it isn't someone who you feel like you would compete with, or who will flake out on you all the time. The entire notion here is support. I was just commenting in my last post that wieght loss is a very personal journey, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a little back-up. Sorry about the long post, but good luck to you!
All right, so tell me if this is bad word in here, but has anyone tried hoodia gordonii? My sister suggested it to me based on what some people in her fave forum said. I made sure to get a brand that didn't have caffeine or any dangerous additives, but they're pretty weak (250 mg/pill). She says most people in her forum take 1000/day. Okay, so I guess my question is, has anyone here tried it? How much do you take? All at once or just before meals? Does it help at all?!
It's difficult to find any reliable information about it online. A basic Google search just turns up a plethora of business sites.
I've tried hoodia. I used Hoodia XPF, which is either 700 mg per dose (2 capsules) or per capsule, I'm not sure. I took it as recommended, 2 capsules before breakast and dinner, but didn't really see much for results. I didn't lose any weight, though it does make you feel satisfied after eating less, but my appetite stayed the same. I was pretty faithful to it for about a week, but after seeing very little in the way of results (aka: nothing), I stopped taking it. I found it very overrated. But, on the upside, it didn't give me the rapid heartbeat and shakes that ephedra and ephedra-like products did. As far as that goes, I felt totally normal.

Does that help you at all?
what exactly is hoodia?
It's this herb (?) from Africa that apparently they've used for centuries as an appetite supressant.
Well, I'm using the 250 mg pills 2-3 times a day now. I think they're helping more now than when I first started, but it could all be in my head. Do you know of any other appetite supressing supplements? I've heard good things about green tea. I know, I shouldn't be a pansy and should rely on myself and "skillpower" but this summer eating right has been a lot more difficult than last summer. And don't even get me started on exercising, I have to drag myself to do it 5 times a week.
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