Dec 5 2007, 09:46 AM
You're all sweethearts. And glassk, absolutely! Although I'm hitting it with less vigour and more resignation now.
I don't know how long you should wait for an answer to the question "would you like to see me later this week?"
Until it's "later this week"? But to me, that's a question you can answer pretty much right away.
I know that if you're honest and say "I like you, I'd like to hang out with you more" (which I did), then you always
risk getting an "Um.." or just silence back. It's hurtful of course to be rejected, very hurtful in fact, but what's killing
me is that I felt that we had so much to talk about, and if he doesn't mail me back, then I'll feel robbed of what could
have been. He was like this secret door into a whole new world, everything he talked about felt different and exciting,
and I'm not that easily excited over people. I'm rather more bored with people in general.
Not to flatter myself, but how the hell could he not feel that too? I mean, even if you don't find a person to be
Hottie McHotness, wouldn't you want to hang out with someone you have so much fun with?
I'm just the billionth person on the planet to ask that question, I guess..
Dec 5 2007, 10:17 AM
QUOTE(coela @ Dec 5 2007, 11:03 AM)
Not to flatter myself, but how the hell could he not feel that too? I mean, even if you don't find a person to be
Hottie McHotness, wouldn't you want to hang out with someone you have so much fun with?
I'm just the billionth person on the planet to ask that question, I guess..
sounds reasonable, but maybe he's a very nice but unreasonable person. who knows what's going on in his head, except him of course. maybe he's scared away by meeting someone he really jived with. maybe he wants someone who looks like his mother. who the hell knows. and if he's not sharing, don't waste your time worrying. yeah, file that in the easier-said-than-done cabinet, i know.....
Dec 5 2007, 12:49 PM
coela- i know what you mean about feeling robbed of what could have been. I had one of those in February, and we ended up getting back together, and it fell apart in September. I feel like it could of been awesome, but if he wasn't in it, than it just wasn't awesome. it'd be nice if the people we click with would stick around. I hate how it was something he could just take or leave, though. If yours is anything like my Feb-Sept, than he felt the 'awesome' too but he doesn't want commitment. rejection sucks.
the browser i'm refreshing now is for a new boy that scares me its heading in the same direction.
Dec 5 2007, 03:23 PM
A) You're gay
B ) You've got a girlfriend
C ) You kind of thought I came on too strong
D ) I just wasn't your thing
Or something along those lines.
Nickclick, yes, who knows? There's really no point in wondering, it's not like I'll figure it out.
glassk, that sounds awful. At least this is just ONE measly date, and not even a date-date perhaps,
but it just blew me away when I wasn't prepared. I thought it would be within the range from "awkward" to "ok"
and then it turned out to be great, but that wasn't enough, for some reason.
I'll go lick my wounds now. Refreshing mode is over, I think. Can't take more than 24 hrs to answer an e-mail.
Dec 5 2007, 08:44 PM
Dec 6 2007, 03:15 AM
No, physical attraction is part of a relationship. If I don't want to devour someone I can't be in a relationship with them. I've broken off several relationships due that reason. But then, I -really- need sexual connection. Depends upon how important each factor is in your relationship I suppose...
Dec 6 2007, 06:13 AM
Fuck fuck fuck, he wrote me back today, and I don't have the guts to open the e-mail.
I feel seriously nauseated, like the floor is collapsing under my feet. I think I have to
make a pot of coffee before I get to work.
Dec 6 2007, 08:28 AM
I opened the e-mail at long last, but that didn't exactly make me any wiser.
It said that he would have loved to see me this week, but he's away in business
a lot before Christmas in (insert city 50 miles away), and could we get in touch after
the holidays about it?
After the holidays? That's like.. January.
I hate being a grown-up. People actually leave town in BUSINESS. It's a perfect excuse,
if it's a diss, because I know he's away in business a lot. When we met he had just got home
from a business trip to said city. If he's just trying to let me down gently, it will take me weeks to know.
When you were 15, at least all the excuse you had was "eer.. I have a lot of homework",
and then you'd know immediately you had been rejected.
Ok, so I didn't want radio silence, but I didn't really want to be left hanging for a month either..
And I do believe that if you live 2 blocks away from each other, you can find the time to take a walk,
if you really wanted to.
Dec 6 2007, 08:39 AM
coela, you could suggest that since you live so close, does he want to meet up for coffee or something short like that? if he won't make time for that, then that might be your answer.
Dec 6 2007, 10:32 AM
Update - I'm sure you're dying to know :-P -
I walked around scratching my head for an hour and a half,
and then more or less decided that it was a polite rejection, and wrote back a short:
"Ok, I understand. If you have the time later on, let me know."
and decided to give the whole thing a rest. I thought that would be the last
I would hear from him, at least for a really long time.
Five minutes later I got an answer: "Yes!"
Dec 7 2007, 12:10 AM
So, yeah. A little peevish I may be being strung along... I'd like to know where I stand thankyouverymuch. At this point, my thesis is my date, so I'm just sorta floating along. Ask me in Jan.
I am however really unfortunately going crazy without portions. Argh. I knew I had to come in here and post when I started thinking the Green Knight in the Pearl Poet's Sir Gawain and the Green Knight sounded kind of attractive. (early Middle English) ahahha dear god, there is something wrong with me.
ps Coela--I saw that yesterday and I never know what to say, other than, "go get em tiger!" wish I was more eloquent =)
Dec 7 2007, 05:27 PM
Ophelia, thank you! No need to be eloquent. :-) I express myself mostly in squealing noises at the moment.
I just wish I didn't have to wait so long... good thing he reads my blog though, so he can't just forget about
me during the time he's away. I hope, at least.
Um..I've never really understood the word "portions". Is that sex in general? Or lots of sex? Or a particular
kind of sex?
Dec 8 2007, 12:28 AM
I think I have met a nice guy who is NOT a douche bag. Which is refreshing because most of the guys I've dated in the past have not been the greatest guys. I'm happy about this one, I have a good gut feeling about him!
Dec 8 2007, 12:48 AM
yay Sara =) I'm glad! I would very much to meet an interesting man. Please god? POOOOORTIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOONS NOW.
Coela, portions just=sex. just as diryt isn't a misspelling and popcorn isn't something you actually eat, and executive cock should be so lucky...the lounge has its own terminology as I am sure you have apprehended by now, harhar. I am feeling all sentimental today, aw.
Dec 8 2007, 01:49 PM
i want portions too..... argh.
coela, it makes me happy to hear that he responded with a quick Yes. i bet he spent all that time trying to figure out how he could fit you in without making it seem like a reject.
I called my Feb-Sept.. no answer. Good thing, i guess. i want to be friends with him, but it seems i'm still too obsessed.
Skaterboi, however, just gets more and more awesome. I saw him on Thursday...... I should take this to the other thread.
Dec 8 2007, 08:04 PM
Thank you glassk!
To be friends when you're obsessed is seldom a good idea. But yay for skater boy! :-)
Although I'm starting to re-evaluate the "Yes!" (with an EXCLAMATION MARK! yes it's important!)
after I talked to my brother, who is considerably more in contact with advertising & PR people
in his job and said "that is SUCH a busy person's style of e-mail, like he had 2 seconds to answer you.
My boss is just like that, he tells everything he wants to say in the subject line"
Which I sort of knew, of course, I know he's super busy. But I never really thought about
the possibility that the brisk "Yes!" could be just "Ok I rrrreally have to work now, bye bye".
Oh e-mail contact, how I detest it sometimes. My brother said I sounded like a martyr when I
sent him the "Ok, I understand" e-mail, when all I wanted to do was to sound relatively business
and chill (and yes, perhaps a tad cold) about it. LE SIGH. At least I got the "Yes!", although I'm
not so sure about it anymore.
I must say that I honestly don't miss sex all that much when I'm single. I miss being head over heels
and passionate and crazy in love, and when I fall in love, I think about sex a lot, too. But as for now, nah.
I am indeed frustrated, but emotionally/socially frustrated, not sexually so.
Dec 8 2007, 11:38 PM
man, for me sex is like this monkey screaming around inside my body trying to get out. V bad. Unless somehow taken into hand. teeheehee.
well, I thought your email sounded a little chilly but not martyr-ish. I mean, really. If you just got rejected, then how are supposed to feel?
Also, about brother's opinion on said Yes!, maybe so, but why would he have responded at all? Most normal people would've just left your note at that if they wanted to reject you seriously. Or maybe responded later on in the month when he actually did have time. It sounds to me that he seriously wanted to see you, was maybe a little stressed but didn't want to get all in a big emotional thing about it, and was portioning out time accordingly. If I were in his position, I would set aside time exactly like that, no matter how much I liked the girl simply because it is good planning. The immediate reaction of some people is different to others. Some process information better when given time to reflect--that's so me. He might be exactly like that, you never know. Just because he isn't feeding you information doesn't mean he hates you. (you sound like my ex O =) A compliment, a good man but prone to wanting too much feedback from me.
Glass-K...(((you))) been thinking about yous... I agree with coela=/
But yay! enjoy the unexpected happinesses!!
Soooo....I'm torn between wanting to clean someone's bathrooms and cook and amazing portions and the joys of solitude and the wild freedom I feel when alone. I would like it above all else if I discovered someone who provided me both.
Does that exist?
Dec 9 2007, 12:46 AM
Ophelia, I like to think that combo exists. Although, I find the joys of solitude are too quickly forgotten when I have the option of awesome portions. I have that monkey, too
AND- I called skaterboi, who answered when he was at work (good) but hasn't called back (bad). maybe he's still at work. i'm in a funk, today, and therefore assuming the worst about everything. gah!
Coela, I think your Yes sounds good, same as I said before, but if its worrying you too much, maybe find someone to have in your fan club for december. I am a big advocate of the appetizer. Also known as popcorn before chocolate.
I wish I had a fan club to call on right now, but I'm so exhausted I don't have time for them anyways if it existed. I want portions and sleep and am getting neither. eh.
Dec 9 2007, 05:05 PM
glassk, fan club? I don't think I have a fan club. Don't think I could gather one either.
I guess that's another bustword (hee hee) I don't quite get. Booty call?
ophelia, HAHA, I sound like your ex? That is funny. But you are right - I do want a lot
of feedback from people, and also have a tendency to think in black & white a lot. And I
easily invest a lot of interest in new people, if I like them. Not in a crazy person sort
of way (I hope??), but I can ask lots of questions and just be.. a little intense, I guess.
"Most normal people would've just left your note at that if they wanted to reject you seriously."
Yes, they would, wouldn't they? I think I would. Or would I? I'm always torn between being
honest and being "nice", and I guess most people are. But he seemed like an honest person,
didn't agree with me on everything just to be polite, we disagreed on several subjects,
but it was alright. I actually liked it! It made the conversation much more interesting.
"wanting to clean someone's bathrooms" - Nope, haven't felt that. ;-) But I agree on the other parts.
Being able to be alone and feel free is very important to me, too. Or ESSENTIAL, in fact.
I'd rather have my own place than share an apartment. A house would be ok, perhaps.
I've shared apartments with boyfriends three times and friends twice, and it was lovely
and fun in many ways, but I never seemed to get any work done, and always felt a nagging
need for more space and more time alone.
Dec 9 2007, 05:20 PM
Oh, by fan club, I mean people that like me but I don't really like 'like that' or friends with benefits, or ex-boyfriends. Everything that falls just a little bit short of a real relationship. I think that might be a glassk expression though. Haha.
I am so with you on that feedback thing. I think I gave my ex WAY too much feedback, in hopes he'd loop it back, but it didnt work that way. Oh well.
I've never wanted to clean someone's bathrooms; but I would want to do things FOR them, and if it was the bathroom, I'd do it.
I really want to share an apartment with a boyfriend. Never have. maybe that's why.
Dec 9 2007, 05:38 PM
Okay, who brought up the bathroom thing? Cause I barely clean my own bathroom and I don't care how much I love a guy, he can clean his own damn bathroom!
Dec 10 2007, 01:37 PM
I have a thing with bathrooms, if they are not clean I will not use them and I feel the urge to clean a nasty one. I've had couple boyfriends who washrooms were disgusting and I would stay over night and have to use the washroom so I actually ended up cleaning the bathroom. So gross when there is hair and the like all over the place.
I'm a bit of a neat freak though.
Dec 10 2007, 06:40 PM
whoa ophelia. that's what i want too.
you know what, i'm kinda glad that my previous shitty taste in men is encouraging me not to settle. i mean, i think i just wasn't ready to settle for someone good and/or that i was a good enough woman to deserve a good man. and now, i'm like, "shit, i'm a good woman and i want a good man." especially one who will work for me (i.e. executive cock). cause i know what i've got as a woman. i can do the domestic stuff and bring home the bacon cause i have a kick ass job. now, i need to stop telling myself how i need to prove myself to a man and have him prove himself to me. and maybe i should put in this in the taking up the whole damn thread...i don't know.
another funny thing, my roomie keeps tellin' me how i should never make statements in my head about not staying where i am and wanting to move west. he said something to the effect that i could fall in love with a man and end up staying here. and i'm like, uh, no dude. you don't know me. i'm moving away from here. i might fall in love with a man, but i'm moving either way. seriously. my life was on hold for 2 years. my career is in a great place right now.
at the same time, i think my roomie likes to piss me off. well, we piss each other off.
Dec 10 2007, 07:49 PM
Okay, I've been on Bust awhile but could someone please explain to me what "executive cock" and "popcorn" mean? And how did "diryt" start, anyway?
Dec 10 2007, 08:17 PM
Ugh, I'm actually feeling really frustrated right now. See, the two guys that I've been seeing are both in open relationships so while it's great that I can hang out with them, it's also a bit sad knowing that I can only ever get so far with them. When am I going to meet a guy who's truly single and who I can have to myself (or, if things go the way I want, we would be each other's primary partner but we would still be able to date other people)?
I just feel so lonely and sad right now and I hate it and I'm really not sure how to meet people in the real world. I kind of feel like I'm done with online dating because it only makes me more depressed to look at page after page of people I'm not interested in.
Dec 10 2007, 10:50 PM
Executive cock means holding out for having sex with someone who's worth it.
I've been working out more and feeling better, but not interested in online dating, and want to meet people more through work and my interests then trying to pick someone out online. I just feel like I've been in transition for awhile, and the times I could've had a guy I chickened out out of nervousness and shyness.
Dec 11 2007, 11:27 AM
candycane, i doubt those guys are worth your time. i just think open relationships are kinda sad.
about internet personals, i'm also sick of looking through pages of hopeless cases or getting "ice breakers" or "eye contacts" from ppl i have no interest in, i esspecially hate when guys bordering their 40's are sending me messages. my age limit says 35, which i think is more than generous, i always imagine these older guys are just out for a little "excitment" which pisses me off~ but i did get one interesting message yesterday (from someone my age) i just hope, like anna k said, i don't chicken out from meeting someone possible decent...
i wish i could meet someone in "real life" but i work in a very female oriented place (health care) and i'm going school for the same field... that pretty much leaves only the bars and the last guy i met at a bar i never bothered to call back. the last internet date i went on i feel like i was ripped off by a used car sales man. the ad was better than the actual product. so it really makes me wonder about inernet ads anyway
"Executive cock means holding out for having sex with someone who's worth it." (i like that)
Dec 11 2007, 02:01 PM
I looooove cleaning bathrooms..I don't know why. I am OCD like that....
Stargzer, I think I'm just at the same point as you are. Just knowing a good relationship is worth the wait, you know? And being single is NOT bad.
1) Executive cock refers to men who actually meet your very steep standards; this was mentioned in Auralpoison's Manifesto of Fuck.
2) Popcorn was coined by me as a way of referring to multiple crushes who do not mean much but are lighthearted fun and pass the time, eg at work or school.
3) Wallpaper was also coined by me and used very very well by Zoya lately. They are pretty ones you can look at but not touch. She's been licking the wallpaper.
4) diryt belongs in the sex threads appropriately. Someone's mistype became legend I think--really unsure because it has been around a while. Might want to apply to Tes for the whole story..
5) chocolate--something I just started looking for, and stargazer eventually wants it too. Something longer lasting and sweeter than popcorn.
Don't feel forlorn. Just forget about the guys and fate will turn something up. It's a murphy's law.
Dec 11 2007, 04:17 PM
Two weeks today since I saw mr. It's stupid really, it was just coffee, but I can't get him out of my mind.
I don't just think about him, I fantasize about his friends, his job, his apartment.. it's crazy.
If I don't shape up soon, I'm going to have to move this to the crush thread. And I don't want that.
I even checked his horoscope on Astro.. which of course makes me feel like a dork. I wonder how
he is in bed. I wonder if he's a vegetarian. All mixed with the usual disclaimers, of course, like
"we're not going to see each other again" and/or "he didn't like me like THAT" and "Oh simmer down, brain".
How weird is it to get all giddy from the sensation of his cheek for one second? Two weeks ago?
This is too Victorian. I can't stop thinking about it though. It makes me want to jump up and down!
It's a pity when you meet people who are in open relationships, because not only can't you get
serious with them, but at least I can't really take them seriously either. I don't believe in open
relationships at all. Not that I would go in a big debate about it, because people can make whatever
choice they want, consenting adults and all, but to me, they wouldn't be worth my time. I used to
have an affair or something like that with a guy who was in an open relationship, but I suspected
his girlfriend wasn't so keen on it as he was, so I dropped it. A couple of months later he met another
girl and then all of a sudden the relationship wasn't open at all, so I guess it was just him who couldn't
commit earlier. That made me think a lot less of him. People who can't commit = not interesting.
On the other hand, I'm not very nuanced when it comes to feelings. Either I'm crazy about a person, or not.
There's really not much I can do about it, except rant & rave and take really long walks...
and perhaps clean the bathroom. That would probably be a good idea too.
Dec 11 2007, 11:01 PM
Personally, I've always wanted to have an open relationship. I don't think they're very sad because I think there's something kind of weird and unnatural about being with only one person for the rest of your life.
Musician guy is actually married. He told me how the open relationship came about in his marriage and has talked about what it's like to pick up the phone when it's one of his wife's bfs calling. I've talked to her briefly on the phone and I think that it works really well for them.
Dec 12 2007, 12:06 AM
I think it takes all kinds. One of my best friends is a polyamorous bi male. He and his girlfriend are extremely happy together but have adventures and such on the side. Whatever works, right?
Me, I'm far too black and white for that. When I truly want someone, I want them to commit to the relationship.
heh, coela you sound like me. walks and bathrooms.
Dec 12 2007, 08:50 AM
True, whatever works is fine. I just don't like it when it becomes a (woman) trap,
as I can feel it can be a lot of the times - one person wants it and the partner has
to agree not to sound possessive and reactionary. That's what I've seen so far,
that it is so much more often the girl/woman who adapts although she doesn't want it.
But on the other hand, a monogamous relationship can be a woman trap too, so...
"I think there's something kind of weird and unnatural about being with only one person for the rest of your life."
I don't agree, but even if I did - most people are serial monogamists, so they don't actually spend their
entire life with just one partner.
I'm in a rut. It is so damn dark here on the 55.6 latitude that sometimes I wonder if there's any point
in leaving the bed at all. How people can survive even further up north is a mystery to me.
Dec 12 2007, 06:06 PM
...belatedly from the ladies in el jay land: diryt came from someone saying, "Bustygirl is a diryt whore" and mistyped it, circa '99.
For the record, Bustygirl is apparently a very clean whore. Says mctina. Heehee.
Lots of comments on this request, btw. =)
Dec 12 2007, 06:50 PM
ophelia -I tried to PM you but for some reason it won't send. basically I said that the best day for me is this Sunday. please refer to mouse's PM.
sorry for thread derailment.
I got asked to a film premier by a cute uber-geek who is a friend of a friend. He was all excited. I think I inadvertently bummed him out when I told him that I was not that stoked on the movie and could we do something else.. (it's not really a formal date, more of a mutual "we should do something sometime" a few weeks ago, and him coming up with something to do and asking me about it, which is why I didn't feel weird about saying whatever about it) ... why do I think I inadvertently bummed him out, you ask? Well, I was informed by a mutual friend at a party later that he was the lead cgi animator on it. oops. ouch. duh.
suave, zoya, real suave.
Dec 12 2007, 08:39 PM
zoya, sorry if I laugh, but HAHAHA! Poor guy. But HAHAHAHA. Oh dear.
Dec 14 2007, 12:35 AM
AH-ha.... have you ever heard of negging? I know you have. Zoya, is that a neg? Sorry...that sucks. He should've said something though.
Also, Candycane, you mentioned a little bit back you talked with your friend in an open relationship what it was like for him to talk to his wife's boyfriends. Can you elaborate? What IS it like?
Dec 15 2007, 01:41 AM
I responded to some Craigslist ads, but I deleted one of the replies because the guy was unattractive. I hate to be that shallow, but when the words sound good but the face isn't interesting, it's disappointing. I joined some more groups on meetup.com just to meet new people and have something interesting to do until I get a steady job.
Dec 15 2007, 02:18 AM
Well, basically what I had told him was that I had called the house and he was out but his wife picked up and it was a bit weird for me and he just said that it's not weird for him when one of his wife's boys calls for her.
He said that the open relationship came about one night when they were at a club and a girl had been flirting with him a lot and he talked to his wife (who at that point was his fiancee) and she was like "Go on, kiss her!" What he said was that they both realized that they weren't jealous of each other for kissing other people so then they decided to try an open relationship. Obviously they had to work out a few kinks and now they have some ground rules (which I think is a must in an open relationship) and it works really well for them.
Dec 15 2007, 03:37 PM
ok, well i originally left a post about wanting to get in touch w/ an ex of mine but last nite i had a dream in which i was infuriated by him, sort of wanting his attention on me but knowing he's an asshole so then i just wanted to push him out a window. the thing that botheres me is i left that relationship feeling like i thought a lot of him than he thought of me, but i'll never really know... and it's always bothered me. but anyway, i need to get out this mind set.
i guess it doesn't help that i saw a really nice looking guy at the gas station yesterday and just wanted him to take me home... i was so pissed off after that. i'm too young to be alone. ehhh
Dec 16 2007, 09:23 PM
Gross! Ex's! I have this thing where I never talk to Ex's usually... it's actually kind of abnormal in my eyes. I tend to disappear. And some come around in my head at times and others I see around... but I have only had a handful try to be my friends... I just find it awkward. Possibly because most of my relationships never stemmed from friendship. Which is funny because I think and have always thought that would be the best kind of relationship... a friend.
I am really bad at relationships... but I have come to the conclusion that it is only because I have never been in one I truly wanted to be in? Ahhh someday!
I would have to agree with the whole forget 'em and you get 'em concept. It is just sometimes hard to live by it!
Boys... or girls for that matter, are just a fact of life and I have come to the conclusion everyone around me is or has been just as scared/lonely as I have felt. So I have tried to melt myself into life and take what comes.
But as much as I know about all this... it is hard to feel lonely.
Just some thoughts that came to mind while I was reading.
Dec 17 2007, 04:40 PM
oh totally, milly. i don't really like to talk to ex's either. i've tried being friends w/ an ex b4 and it just turned into a "cozy" friends w/ benefits thing. it was just too easy. which why i hate that when i'm feeling really lonely and depressed my mind wonders back in time to someone i wish i could just forget.
Dec 17 2007, 05:43 PM
I was friends for about 5 years with the first guy I lived with, and then we lost contact.
I'm still close friends with another guy I lived with. The other guys I just talk to
occasionally (except my first boyfriend from highschool), but no hard feelings.
I'm getting a birthday present from two of my exes this year. Each to her/his own, I guess.
I miss the mr. The other day I was (Stalker) Nancy Drew and walked past his
house, and noticed there was a lot of frost on the windshield of his car. He obviously
hadn't used it for a couple of days, so at least he wasn't making up that he's out of town.
And no, I didn't plan it beforehand.. but his house is on the way to the grocery store.
Yes, I actually HAVE TO PASS it to go to the store. :-P
Walked about 5 miles just to get all the energy out of my system afterwards. I'm retarded.
Dec 18 2007, 06:35 PM
i think it's really cool when u can still be friends w/ an ex...i just haven't dated anyone cool enough to be friends w/ after the fact yet.
Dec 21 2007, 10:20 PM
I'm still good friends with my ex-girlfriend. Before we were a couple we were best friends. But I moved a thousand miles away and our relationship faded into just being good friends again. Of course, this makes her current boyfriend rather anxious and somewhat jealous. I have always wondered why some get their knickers in a twist over two exes being friends, rather than admiring the grace and maturity in the one that they love for handling a breakup in such a way. Meh.
Dec 23 2007, 01:14 AM
I've been friends with my ex for 2.5 years. We were pretty close for a long time, but the last few times we've hung out I've realized that I need to move on (even though I broke up with him 2.5 years ago!). It's so hard to be friends with someone you were in love with, and I'm still in love with him, just not in the right way. I think we're at the point where we're really just going to grow further and further apart and I'm finally realizing that that's okay and healthy.
Man, for the past week I've had no work or school to worry about and have just been totally indulging myself, and now I'm starting to get bored and feeling like I want to meet someone worthy of me sooooooo badly. I'm super horny, flirty, and am just craving some meaningful conversation with a guy I actually fucking like. A friend is planning to introduce me to two of her friends, but I don't have high hopes. I find it difficult to meet men I'm attracted to, and now I'm starting to look for someone I could spend my life with, so I'm being extra picky.
I know in two weeks once I'm back working and in class I'll be fine, but until then...I think I might turn to an ole' faithful friend with benefits.
Dec 23 2007, 10:54 AM
I've become friends with just about every guy I've ever dated. Some of them have become really close friends. That said, it has never worked for me to try to become friends right after the break up... or even within months after the break up. Virtually all the guys I've become friends with, it's been one or the other of us contacting the other person out of the blue, or running into them after a long time - it was years with some of them before we got back in contact... Since the pressure is then off and we've both moved on, we've inevitably had the conversation hashing everything out, and it was easy to do - which has then cleared the air, and we've become friends. It's uncanny how that's worked for me in my life over and over. A couple of the guys even expressed the interest in us trying out dating again, but I wasn't interested by that point. (they'd grown up a lot and on paper it looked great, but I just chose not to go there)
so anyway, that's my story... I think that it's great to be friends, but I'm a believer in giving it a good long break to separate from the romantic relationship.
Dec 25 2007, 07:52 PM
I'm friends with a few of my ex-boyfriends. Well one of them I never see in person we just talk online and on the phone. We don't see each other in person because he's afraid of old feelings coming back. Another ex of mine and I have coffee every so often and it's cool. I think it's all right to be friends with exes but you need wait a while. I think it took me at least a year after each break up to actually say we're friends.
On another note, I thought I found a good guy, but it was too good to be true. He was super clingy and I can't handle that, a girl needs some space to breath. Oh well there are other men out there who don't want to suffocate me.
Merry Christmas to everyone!
Dec 25 2007, 09:46 PM
Sassy, that just happened to me. I thought I found a nice guy to casually date, and I told him that I wanted to casually date and he knew that. Next thing I know I'm getting text messages at 3AM and he's telling me how much he misses me and how he hasn't opened up to someone like this in ages. Yikes. I had to break it off a couple of weeks and felt nothing but relief after.
Dec 27 2007, 01:34 PM
i hope i meet someone awesome on new years eve, i hope i meet someone great on new years eve, i hope i meet someone perfect on new years eve
like who doesn't think this before going out???
but really, i hope i do
Dec 28 2007, 08:00 PM
I'm pretty confident I won't meet anyone great on new year's eve. In fact, if the night turns out to not entirely suck,
that's enough for me.
Had the biggest fight with my ex. He's so fucking irresponsible I just want to strangle him. Had me crying like mad
for two days. Long pointless story, in short: we made plans for new year months ago, and yesterday he suddenly
can't (or rather won't) come. Which is absolutely typical for him, and why would I trust him in the first place, etc etc.
He then uttered one of his many genius conclusions: "But if you hate New Year so much, then it can't be that big of a deal".
WELL WHY COULD IT BE THAT I HATE NEW YEAR? Perhaps there's a reason? Like: I hate being stood up/ feeling alone/
being invited last/ going to dinner with couples who play footsie under the table. Everyone else has smashing outfits
and I feel fat. At midnight all the couples kiss. I walk home crying every goddamn time - either because I always end up talking
to some bloody idiot, or I get punched in the stomach (2000), or I sprain my foot (2 years ago) or I get locked out of my apartment
(1 year ago) and have to call the locksmith, or some other minor disaster. Haven't been broken up with on new year yet,
but I'm certain it's going to happen some day.
Still miss the PR guy like mad after 1 month. No, not like mad anymore, but still miss him. Well he did say we'll get in touch
after the holidays, but GODDAMN IT, if I'm not cute enough or whatever, don't leave me hanging like this.
Don't let me down gently
And don't I have anything better to do? Why yes, Christmas was nice, thanks. And I've bought a flashy pedometer.