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greenbean- I met him on OkCupid. But we've agreed to tell people that we met "horseback riding in the mountains".

If we're going to lie, might as well do so outrageously.
Thats hilarious emtee!
Hmmm, so this Okcupid is a good deal, eh?
Too bad I'm chicken shit.
I'm here now.

Still frustrated about McGeek. I mean we really seem to dig eachother, and he seems to be really understanding about me being sick last week. But, I'm so freaking scared about what will happen tomorrow afternoon.

He agreed last night to pick me up at airport, but haven't heard a damn thing from him today. I know we've both been busy this weekend. I need to just chill.

Did I mention I've been at my parents house since Tuesday stuck on a frigging island getting completely criticized and judged. This totally sucks. I mean I know we love one another, but we tend to show it in the weirdest frigging ways.

And not to mention that I haven't gotten laid in like almost two weeks. Bleh. And, the last time was in my little room, and being it's not my house (renting a room), we kept thinking that my landlady was going to walk in on us, which was creepy and funny at the same time. We just kept giggling.

I've met some cool guys off OkCupid. Met McGeek off Yahoo personals.

Oh, full story about MIA in the crush thread.
BREATHE, sassygrrl.

i'm sure tomorrow will be fine. you are obviously waiting for the other shoe to drop. just enjoy yourself.
If I was home, you know I'd be listening to that Anna Nalick song, 2 AM right now. Heh.

And probably watching Singles again (well, once I buy it). :0

Breathe in, breathe out.

Now going to try to crawl back in bed.

When they tell you that they're still "techincally married...." sad.gif
anna k
I want to enjoy sex with someone and feel strength and power and all that good stuff. Sometimes I want to throw my anger into sex ("Fuck The Pain Away"), other times I want to play around like a little kitten. It sucks that I don't get instantly turned on by men, I only get turned on when I've built an attraction to someone. Sometimes all I want is to be someone's woman and curl up on his chest and let myself be physically open, let down my guard and be passionate or raw or sweet.

(Other times I feel like a lone animal, that I'll never open myself up to anybody that way and will always be guarded and build a tough shell)
I agree with you annak. Totally. Although, this weekend I had both of those types of sex on different days. There's an intense attraction with McGeek, and I'm hoping to hell that I'm not his "transitional person while I'm going thru my messy divorce" girl. I have bad visions that he may dump me after Dec 12th (in that case it would be Dec 13).

Still weirded out by the fact that he doesn't cuddle afterwards. But, he does spoon me during the night. I guess that works too.

Can we say that I'm super over-analyzing??

Damnit. I so want my own apartment. sad.gif

I also fear that I may be opening up too much to Mcgeek, and freaking him out. Ergh.
alot of guys dont cuddle sassygirl. really, its exactly what most of them say it is, they need time to come down after such a release. i can assure you its most likely not personal:)

i dont like to cuddle after sex either-all sweaty and gross yuck. i just want to be left alone. the real thing you should look at is that he spoons with you during the night, which should mean more bc its totally unconscious and shows he does want to be close to you.
Thanks katiebelle! I think I needed your advice. And spooning I think means a lot more than cuddling right?

We're just so new that I started thinking that maybe it was something I did. Although after sex the other day, he kissed me afterwards, and just said "Wow." I take this as a very good sign. smile.gif
i totally understand the frantic "is it me" moments in the beginning of relationships (esp with someone you like so so much!)

but its not you, and he gave you a kiss and said WOW. thats awesome! the one cool thing about men is that when they say something, they generally mean exactly what they say (or do). which in this case would be WOW:)

and i would say spooning does mean alot more bc hes doing it at a time when he doesnt technically "need" to or be "expected" to ya know?

take it for what it is, i think this guy likes you alot from what you tell all of us.
Yeah, we haven't even hit the two month stage (not that I'm counting..ahem).
So, I keep having these frantic moments, and calling my closest friends, and they tell me just to chill the fuck out. Heh.

Thanks for all the support. smile.gif

yeah, and i'm telling you sassygrrl...

chill out...breathe...
Breathing in.
Breating out.

Still miffed a little that he hasn't called, but maybe he's just be uber-busy.
And I will NOT call him.

Just going to chill tonight.

Found out the puppy was sick. Hence, not the calling last week.

Debating on whether I should dump him or not. These little jibs are getting to me, yet they always start with "No offense, but...." I wish he just would be less criticial. I do not think he has the best house, best cook, best lover, etc. But, I'm not going to sit there and be like, "You know, that dinner sucked." Or, "Where did you learn to fuck?" Granted, he hasn't said these things to me yet, but just some insults here and there are really getting to me.

Mainly the jab at my health this morning, and the whole hospital thing. Hello, that was completely out of my control. Read: fucked up reaction to the med I was on. And, we've been over this. He was there!

The sex has gone from fairly decent to holy hell, that was it? I should have packed my vibe last night. Granted we didn't have sex until this morning. And it was tepid at best.


There is a huge part of me that just wants to fucking leave. Leave Atlanta, leave my fucked up job, Mcgeek, and just move out west. I know this is not the most rational of answers right now. But, it's just tempting. And, I've always been an extremely impulsive person. smile.gif

A fellow frustrated single jumping in here. Anyone else spend the weekend on the couch with their cats? I love how easy it looks on TV; you're in line for coffee, and a totally hot guy starts chatting you up, and then you're having dinner. I'm shocked that TV has misrepresented this. How do you single ladies meet gents, or other ladies if that's your thing?

Hey rocketslide, I've been thinking about this a lot lately because I think I'm ready to move on from the dude I've been having a flirtation with for months.

I always think about the meeting-people game as an issue of expanding circles. When I moved to the city I live in 2 years ago, I couldn't imagine how I would ever make friends. I'm an introvert and pretty shy. But lately I'm realizing that I have a whole slew of good people in my life, and a bunch of the people I've met in the past few years have turned into dates.

So anyway. I think you do something that helps you meet a new circle of people. Then, if you get closer to one or two of those people, they can introduce you to a new circle, either of their friends, or some other activity that they do, and so on and so on. Ways I've gotten into new circles lately: joining a soccer team, taking an art class, running into someone from college, chitchatting with a vendor at a craft fair, going to a business association meeting, seeing the same people around at rock shows. I wasn't doing any of these things necessarily to meet people, just to occupy myself while I didn't know anyone, so there wasn't too much pressure, and I had at least one thing in common with people already.

I think the other important piece for me was being open to things going forward with the random people I met, whether as friends or dates. It still feels risky to me to try to move beyond the circle where I know someone (like ask a buddy from the business association to grab a beer sometime), but I think when it comes down to it, most people are happy to have a new friend/hot person in their life, and will go along with it easily.

The other thing I've been doing lately is just making a point to dress in a way that makes me feel hot/fun every time I leave the house, so that just in case I have one of those tv moments, I'll be confident enough to say yes to the dinner invite! I think people notice in real life even if they don't offer an instant date.
i agree, you gotta go out. more rare than meeting a date at starbucks is meeting a date while lying on the couch! unless your cat knows a hottie or two....
Momo, you've totally hit on my problem. I've cleaned some old relationships out of my life recently. This is definately for the best, but it means my social circle is a lot smaller. I definately think that the best way for me to meet people is through other people. And I love the idea of looking hot whenever I leave the house. What a good excuse to buy some new shoes!
anna k
A few nights ago I heard a girl having sex a few rooms away from me. She made really loud noises, it almost sounded exagerrated. I ha wondered what was being done to her to elicit those loud noises. Her voice sounded annoying, like the dramatic "omigod" type.

Sometimes I hate being single and other times I don't like the dating process or the lack of spontaneity. I tried doing new things to meet people that shared my interests (joining groups on, but the guys who I met were unattractive or seemed like junior-high nerds. I'd love to have intimacy, but I get uncomfortable with kissing if I'm not fully into it or feeling like I have to push myself to be more physically comfortable (even hand-holding or leaning against a guy's arm is strange and unfamiliar to me). I'd love to be one of those quirky and unique girls who finds a boy who's a little pretentious but quirky and cute like her. Like Zooey Deschanel and Jason Schwartzmann, or Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp. I'm just too busy with figuring out my career and life to uphold dates with guys I meet online. In NYC everyone moves so fast and I don't get a chance to know people well. I'd love to have close friends who I meet guys through, or be an actress or singer and hook up with people in the industry. It would be a safety net and more comfortable than finding guys through online dating services.
Got into a huge fight with Mcgeek over the fact that he wants to spend the weekend with his friends, and didn't tell me. So, I went shopping with a friend of mine. He still wanted to see me, so he called. But, by this time, I was in a shitty mood. For one thing, his friends don't seem to like me. I really didn't want to hang out with people that don't like me.

He's just being an arse about everything lately: job, ex wife, divorce. He's been a snit for the last two weeks. And, the more I ask about it, the more he pulls away.

We're supposed to be going away for Christmas. However, I'm not sure that will happen. I hope I still have a boyfriend at Christmas.

Really thinking of just going back to crushing on people. It was less of a let down when people start showing their true colors.
Tan Princess
QUOTE(greenbean @ Sep 14 2006, 02:52 PM) *

Katie, I'm with you: my most carnal experiences were when I was quick to hop in the sack. I think I have a weakness for Alpha males, the kind of guys that the nice boys whince at cuz its so easy for them to get laid.....but then whenever I snag an Alpha it backfires on me cuz I always want to keep them around, and theyre like, "Um, I cant be tied down, blah blah blah".

I guess I need a guy who can be sweet and loving and respectful outside of bed, but have the intuition (or knowledge, I guess I just need to be blunt) that I need to be manhandled and maybe a bit 'disrespected' when taken to bed. I suppose I need to give the nice boys a chance, and hope that I can unleash the 'bad boy' under the surface...

Just reading this thread despite being coupled but these guys definitely do exist because my boyfriend is one.
coming in here to rant, appropriate for new years eve i suppose!

i talked to this totally adorable boy at a dance club last night, which for me is a really really rare thing. i had been eyeing him all night and it looked like he was there by himself as he was just wandering around not talking to anyone. i finally smiled at him and he immediately said "so what's your name?" as if we had been talking for a while before, which was a little weird but i was just happy he finally noticed me checking him out. we talked a little bit and he seemed really nervous and kind of confused; he was from the o.c. and i made a crack about the show and i think it just confused him when it was supposed to make him either laugh or roll his eyes. but anyway, he was still adorable, but he seemed totally awkward and i told him my friends and i were heading to another bar a few blocks over but he didn't seem to get the hint and he was so timid i didn't want to put any effort into closing the deal. i too am spoiled because my last boyfriend was one of those rare nice guys/crazy in bed types and i just didn't see this guy having the confidence to really make fucking him enjoyable. not that we were anywhere near that point yet but it just seemed like, why bother if i know it's not gonna be good if we ever do get there? i guess i feel like if a dude isn't going to make a move to GET me in bed, he's probably not going to be that enthusiastic once we're there. anyway, he was too shy to close the deal and i was too indecisive and i ended up leaving without really even saying goodbye to him.

now i am completely kicking myself because it's not often (in fact it's almost never) that the guy i have my eye on ends up talking to me, and i should've given him a chance.

on the other hand, maybe this is my new year's lesson to step it up when i have the chance, and maybe i'll run into this guy again. i always flirt better when i have some point of reference to base a connection on.


end rant.
stargazer time be more direct. don't be so coy. if he doesn't get the hint, move on. but, you never know...
So I've been single for 3 months now and I'm starting to get that "i want to date" feeling. It's kind of refreshing after feeling so depressed for so long, but I bet I'll be bitching in here in another few weeks. tongue.gif

Where's that "taking up the whole damn bed" thread?
it's come to my attention that the reason i never have "hookups" is because it's really fuckin' hard for me to step it up unless i have a fullblown, could-be-love-if-we-give-it-a-chance crush on someone. i guess some people could see this as a good thing, but my relationships are few and far between and being celibate for three years just cos you don't find anyone you're in love with totally sucks. basically, i want to learn how to be a slut.

i've had a lot of situations this past year where i've found myself in bed with someone i'm attracted to, but nothing happens. we just end up.....sleeping. i'm thinking of two in particular, where the other person was a friend, which made things slightly weird, but i also was pretty sure that they found me attractive as well. but when it's needed for me to be just a little more flirty, or whatever, i shut down because i start thinking of how i don't like whoever it is enough to date them, how the friendship might turn weird, or what my friends would say if they found out that i'd hooked up with whoever. and then i don't get laid, again. and then i kick myself later on for it.

like the last situation i wrote about in here, when i met that boy but i wasn't sure if i really liked him becuase he seemed really timid. i could've had him if i'd been more direct, but inside my head i was all "oh, he's too nervous, what will my friends say, how will i feel after, i don't want to date him" and thus didn't. but i'd rather regret taking the chance than regret not taking it, i guess. i just can never think that way in the moment.

i also don't want to be seen as a tease or an asshole if i want it to be just a hookup.

like i said, i suppose these could be seen as good things, but i'd like to not feel so repressed and cautious.

sorry for the long post.
For some, being called a slut is offensive. For others, calling someone a slut is disrespectful. But for me to call myself a slut, is, well, true.

You know the tattoo that Jenna Jameson has on her a$$ - "Heartbreaker" - that was me. Not sure if I broke any hearts per se, but I did all the breaking up in the relationships I had been in last year. Problem was, I really liked - even fell in love - with the guys I ended things with [and in 2006, I basically lost count]. I have this weird "break up with them before they can break up with you" disease, and you know what, I think it actually hurt me more after I broke up with them, b/c I second-guessed myself. I "ruined" a few good relationships. But perhaps I should look at it like this - I ran b/c I realized something was "wrong" - [or was it?]....

I am in a rather complicated relationship right now. He's my ex from last June. We were *this close* to moving in together and getting married. Long story short, we didn't. More recently, we just hang out as friends. Ok, "friends." Well, sometimes "friends." Not always. But anyway, last month he asked me if in the future [in a few months] if I would consider getting back together with him b/c he thinks we have great potential. In the meantime, I'm in love with this guy, silently waiting in the wings for him to realize what he's missing out on. Will he realize? Should I even care? Why do we women torture ourselves like this!?!
anna k: the grass is always greener. everyone's got relationship issues. there's more opportunities than online dating. just imagine if the internet didnt exist.. how would you go about finding someone to date? from my experience, bars dont lead to fulfilling relationships. what do you enjoy doing? how do you feel about: book clubs, crafts, classes, library, support groups, plays, wine tasting, art openings, bake sales, concerts...?

it also helps to consider hanging out someplace you think that your ideal man would hang out. what is your ideal man?
*sigh* my ex is getting married today. hell, for all i know he's taking his vows right this second. i'm not taking it well.

i don't even know what my problem is. it's not like i'm still attracted to him or like i ever imagined us getting married one day. i'm the one who broke up with him. it's just...i don't know. weird. i think it's just that i've been single for a long ass time now. i'm usually fine with it (in fact, most of the time i prefer it), especially since i have to focus on school and finishing my freaking thesis this semester, but it would also be nice to meet someone new and go out every once in a while, ya know?
Ok, last night was a total fucking waste. Went to an event here where there is endless beer, all for charity, and tons of people. There were several in my group, including a good friend from work and her roomate. Said roomate brought a friend, a guy who is married, in his 30s, a bit of a cowboy (Skoal mark on the back pocket of his Wranglers, camo baseball cap, etc.). After a few hours of fun and drinking I made a comment about being 31 and single. The conversation went to how I was going to be an 80 year old spinster because I was such a negative bitch and had so much "shit" to deal with, I was going to have to find a guy who will put up with all my "shit." This went on for awhile. He started to tell me that I should not be proud of my singlehood, how I reminded him of his sister (that's actually how the conversation started,) and needed to "be slapped" so I better understood my situation. Fucker. When I brought up how my life was pretty good, I take care of myself and have done pretty well. He let me know that I was not independent, I was isolated. Ugh. He kept going, his wife just nodded and smiled, and by the time the tears were coming and no one noticed, I got up and left. Took an expensive cab home and hid.

The worst part is that I know that he is correct, in some way.
I'm so sick of being single. I just want to be in a couple already. My last relationship was about a year and a half ago. I haven't been in anything serious, but I'm always talking and going out with guys, but nothing serious, at least not on my end.

Plus it seems as soon as I imagining myself with a guy, I start to see him for who he really is and I cut him off. Im so afraid of getting hurt myself, that I immediately cut things off with the guy before he cuts me off. Or I diminish the relationship to a friendship without him knowing it.

I'm having such a hard time finding guys that live in my college town. It seems I keep finding guys that aren't in my close proximity. I went out with some friends the other night and I had fun, but I wasn't really that attracted to the guys that we were with. I mean they were cute, but at the same time, I just wasn't really attracted to them. It just that seems my feelings for my current crush are becoming a thorn in my side.

What do you do when you can't find your ideal guy in places where you think that your ideal guy should be found?
QUOTE(samiam @ Jan 21 2007, 01:09 AM) *

Ok, last night was a total fucking waste. Went to an event here where there is endless beer, all for charity, and tons of people. There were several in my group, including a good friend from work and her roomate. Said roomate brought a friend, a guy who is married, in his 30s, a bit of a cowboy (Skoal mark on the back pocket of his Wranglers, camo baseball cap, etc.). After a few hours of fun and drinking I made a comment about being 31 and single. The conversation went to how I was going to be an 80 year old spinster because I was such a negative bitch and had so much "shit" to deal with, I was going to have to find a guy who will put up with all my "shit." This went on for awhile. He started to tell me that I should not be proud of my singlehood, how I reminded him of his sister (that's actually how the conversation started,) and needed to "be slapped" so I better understood my situation. Fucker. When I brought up how my life was pretty good, I take care of myself and have done pretty well. He let me know that I was not independent, I was isolated. Ugh. He kept going, his wife just nodded and smiled, and by the time the tears were coming and no one noticed, I got up and left. Took an expensive cab home and hid.

The worst part is that I know that he is correct, in some way.

What a friggin prick!

31 and single is nothing! And so what , everybody has "shit" to deal with, just because you have not settled just to be a "couple" does not mean there is anytihng wrong with you!

Argh. I would have smacked him. Even if I just overheard that crap.
i'm just frustrated at having these really great dates, then the guy decides he's not interested or 'too busy'.... how to keep the interest going (on both sides)?

Is it fairly normal for people to do most of their date planning via email, and not calling? We honestly don't know each other well, and I'm not much of a phone person so I don't mind, but I don't know if the emailing v. phoning shows any insight into whether he thinks of me as date or just a friend.

sareybelle, first things first. RELAX. BREATHE. ok. just take things slowly. don't force something to happen that might not even be a thing. just use each meeting as a chance to get to know one another. nothing wrong with building a relationship out of friendship first. nothing wrong with meeting up for trivia again. perhaps, you can use that face to face meeting to suggest another get together, doing a different activity, and asking/giving your number. i wouldn't analyze the whole only contacted by email. you can change that.

i hope that helps. oh, and you look like a newbie. make sure you stop by the newbie thread to introduce yourself if you haven't already. welcome to the lounge! biggrin.gif
Omigod, I just saw samiam's post and that guy is bullshit. Just total and utter bullshit and it pisses me off that he even exists in this world. So what, if you were married that would make everything ok? In a certain misogynistic mindset, that actually is the case: women are meant to be married and have kids. If they are doing that, then they are good and well, maybe happy, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is whether or not they are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Which is making babies. GRAR!

I would have dumped a beer on that guy's head and told his wife how sorry I am for her.
Y'know what i'm really starting to miss? Having a guy be super turned on by me just because I'm turned on.

And kissing, i miss kissing.
samiam, just be glad that you aren't married to that dicklick. who says there's nothing worse than being single. having to deal with that guy shoots to the top of my list of personal hells. can you imagine what he says to his wife? ugh. and he was talking about your shit?!? sounds like he needs to look in his own back yard. (he's got a nuclear waste dump back there.)

ejane i miss GOOD KISSING. i had a casual date (the basics of this guy are in the write a letter thread) and i so wanted to kiss him, and when we did kiss... nothing. he wasn't horrible, he was just blah. is it really that hard to be a good kisser? the last good kisser i dated was 3 people and 5 years ago. sad.gifsad.gifsad.gif and kissing is the best. i miss a good slow kisser who knows how to tease and communicate just kissing.
tongue.gif yes, prease! more prease! tongue.gif

has anyone else heard that erika badu song with the phrase "i wish somebody would come up behind me, and kiss me, on my neck, breathe on my neck." god, i would kill for that...
anna k
The best kiss I ever had was two years ago, when I hooked up with a guy. I was apprehensive towards kissing, as it's something I never really enjoyed (crusty lips or too much tongue or an ick factor to it), but during sex, I pulled the guy towards me and it was a deep and great kiss. It's felt so long since I've had that, but it was a wonderful moment.

I've felt like a loser about being single, but I've found that I enjoy guys the best when I'm just chilling out with them and having good conversations, and sometimes developing crushes. I miss that intimate feeling.
omg, girltrouble!! you are so right!! i've been saying that to alot of my friends. kissing is what gets me going. i once briefly dated this guy who i would have great conversations with. alas, the passion wasn't there and it showed in his kissing. so boring! too reserved. i can tell he was holding back. the last guy i was with was a great kisser. really passionate. granted we were drunk at the time we hooked up, but it was still a damn good kiss. it wasn't one of those slobbery kisses either. he just had very strong lips. oh, wait, and there was another guy too with a strong kiss. not that i go around kissin' every guy i meet. laugh.gif

i don't know the song off of my head, but i love that lyric girltrouble.
girltrouble, i LOVE badu and that song is awesome smile.gif
"'s been a long time, forgot that i was fine..."

i was thinking about my hs/early college boy in when i was driving into work this AM. he wasn't my best kisser, in fact he was a little sloppy, but he did it with such earnesty. and those skills carried over into, ahem, other areas.

gave me a big ole grin
Oh damn, I really miss kissing and full-on hot & heavy makeout sessions. One guy who was the best kissers I've ever encountered is still available (thanks, MySpace) -- I'd totally consider getting in touch with him again if we still lived in the same city. He was such a mess in the head, but he was a damn fine kisser. There was electricity between us and I'm still hot for it.
um, why are the messed up ones the best kissers??
Raisin, I totally agree about missing make out sessions.

I miss kissing so much. The last few men I've kissed, haven't been so great. Aside from Friday night bar boy from a few weeks ago...but he had a girlfriend.
yeah, i think that's what i miss about being a teenager/highschool/young love is the endless make out sessions-- just being excited about 'heavy petting" god. it all seems and sounds so old fashioned. but it always seems so much better than sex to me. it's not like i am a prude, it's just that i loved that whole touching for it's own sake kind of thing. i was posting about this in the bdsm thread-- i was seeing this girl who was always teasing me saying no, and we would just make out for hours when we'd see each other, and to me that was heaven. i think she thought i wanted more, but i never did. i loved coloring within her lines, playing within her borders, and just feeling her breath, her touch. just exploring and learning a person's body, seeing where touching made them shiver and shudder, where it made them giggle, and where it made them hot. and there was never any rush. goddamnit, i want that back. sad.gif now i'm really frustrated.

and i don't know, stargazer, for me the least messed up ones were the best kissers.... but then i'm pretty sure i was the messed up one at the time...lord knows i was running from some issues... to say the

anna k- I completely understand how you feel. I enjoy the emotional and intellectual attraction to someone so much more. I can't even imagine having sex without that. I have to really develop a trust with someone emotionally before I can trust them with me physically. I think this goes hand in hand with being very sensitive and self protective.
I should add something which may be of use ladies! I have not really dated anyone in about a year, main reason being that one of my bandmates is my ex and it's been tough enough to negotiate that minefield without having additional men to worry about. But after about a year of romantic quiet time & getting things with my bandmates on an even keel, I figured it was time to dust off the wonderbras. If anyone else is in a similar position, get your ducks in a row. For me that meant,

1) full STD check. Nothing like a tabula rasa to make you feel good about getting it on
2) getting a prescription for the pill. I don't love the pill. I don't even like the pill. But I figured that if things were going in a monogamous type direction, they'd be a good thing to have around.
3) LUSH bath products. I don't know why, but for the last year I've been in a contest with myself to have the world's softest most heaven scented skin. Invest in your flesh ladies! The man or woman of your dreams will appreciate it. That is all.
anna k
Thank you for posting that, sareybelle. I've been the same way when I was reluctant to be physically affectionate because I've been alone a lot and unused to having a person for physical comfort.
that was a cute story too. you are super funny. of course he's charmed by you...
anna k
Whenever I fantasize about my old crush, I get a rush of excitement to my knees.

It sucks that I haven't had a boyfriend yet, or been close enough with someone to enjoy my own sexuality with another person. Just getting used to touch and fumbling around, seeing what's what with sex. It sucks, but I'm not a free little wood nymph or very physically affectionate, as much as I'd like to be. I get sexually turned on the most when I'm thrilled by someone's mind and personality, then I find the rest of them attractive, not just finding a hot dude and immediatelly getting turned on. I'd like to mature into an older woman who has a roughness and strength to them, like the way Joe Esterhas described his wife in his memoir, or Patti Scialfa, or Denis Leary's wife, or my old English's teacher's wife. Those women have strength and intelligence and a mature sexuality and trust in their partners. That's what I like and what I'd like to enjoy someday.
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