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'witholding information in the best interests of certain parties...'

yah, uh, MINE. smile.gif but really, I did still feel I had to keep the peace w/ him & chose my words - carefully- bc he has been so hostile to me in the past and I didn't want to make things worse for the girl at home.
and you're right, clearly these things do take time, something I just honestly hadn't realised.
that just bc to ME it was a major major situation, I'm sure in cases of physical abuse & so on, take priority.
the social worker reminded me that the dad won't or shouldn't know of My involvement at the school, which again, for the girl & her odds of being able to still come over in the future, probably bodes better.
the girl did tell me that her dad had said they'd go shopping ( I'm assuming for food) tonight.
he was standing right next to her when she called though. so you know?

as the school meeting was over 2 hours ago, and he never pulled in here all crazy, it must have been somewhat ok.

thanks So much again, everyone, for your encouragment & support.

Squiggle the Sea Monkey, I don't know what the pregnancy deal is.
most Clearly there was a dark thing growing near the bottom of her body, and now it's not there.
I'm at a loss. it's not every day you get to be a Sea Monkey Grammy smile.gif (better than a monkey's uncle? <eg>)

I'm still sick, but my throat doesn't so much hurt as it's traveled down to my lungs, so I sound like lauren bacall. not so bad a trade ey? have slept most of the day, will probably live after all.
thanks too for asking smile.gif

ps: what happened in the case w/ your friends daughter w/ her bi mom?

((((((Freckle)))))) Sea-monkey's uncle ... hee hee smile.gif
Dad, please quit being a type A control freak that you are. I love you, and I want you to love McGeek. Please be cool tonight.

Mom, don't pull all this "what are we" bullshit with me tonight. I can't deal with it. I've only known McGeek two weeks yet, and we're in that groovy newness stage

Mel, QUIT HAUNTING MY DREAMS!! Why did you have to become such a bitchy sister? I hate you.

John, quit with the PMS. For the first time in a LONG time, this could have a long shot of acting working with someone. Imagine me in a relationship. Weird eh?

Brain, no seizures please.

McGeek, be your adorkable self, and they will love you. I already adore you.

*pre-letter commentary*

Freckle.....I admire your strength, patience and a world gone mad, where defenceless children are being made to make decisions and deal with issues no child should EVER have to experience, you have a lot to be proud of. *tips hat*

Dear ex-workplace and all the people who conspired against me,

You are all a bunch of worthless, black-balling bastards. But I bet you are all a bit confused as to where I got THAT information from. I am going to use it against all of you, and the same way you all refused to show some humanity to my case, so am I going to do the same to you. I have no problem watching you battle, as you are deported home to your respective countries, penniless and embarrased. You all should have listened to me when I asked you to stop doing what you were doing.

Fuck all of you!

Kindest Regards,

Should this be the "write a KICKASS letter...." thread? smile.gif


Sassy, hope it goes ok.

Freckle, hope you didn't misunderstand me about the withholding info thing? I agree with all you said in your last post.
And yeah under-resourced and slow and frustrating and UGH.
I'm a bit concerned that if I go into the story about my friend and his daughter, that I'll be seriously de-railing the thread. I don't mean that I think you are, at all, but ya know- you're all hardcore, and I'm, well I'm not! unsure.gif
So I'll PM you if that's ok?
Dear Aunt Patty:

Rot in hell! You are the most selfish person I have ever encountered and I hope you die lonely and miserable. Family isn't about what they can do for you. Your mother is not an undated check just waiting to be signed by her death. And EVERYONE, knows that is how you feel about her. That's why you aren't in the will and that will never change. She dislikes you as much as anyone, the women maybe old but she has never been ignorant.

saw the girl this morning, her dad still won't let her ride w/ us but she thinks that is temp.
I hope she is right. she looked really tired, but says she is ok. she just wants me & her dad to get along now, and asked me if he apologised when he called the other day. uh, not Quite, but I didn't let on, just told her we'd talked about some things.
my girl.
so sweet, and still carrying so-much on her skinny little shoulders.
her bus was late this morning ( I stopped on my way back from dropping off frecklette at school when I saw her still waiting) and I Wanted, and she assumed (when I 1st pulled over) to go ahead and drive her, but I've got to follow what her dad says. so I let her sit in the car and called the school to find out what was going on, & we hung out til it finally came.
restraint is not a trait that comes naturally to me sad.gif

I don't wanna go to the dr, it's a stupid blasted cold, or maybe bronchitis, or hell maybe it's the damn plague at this point but whatever it is, Enough!
I got stuffs to do and dieing isn't on my list for this week.

not a suggestion but an Order,

And that's why I love ya, freckle.


kalevra: Your letter reminds me of a woman I knew in Art school. She was a photographer and in a lot of my photo classes, this wiry, funny little lesbian, and I really liked her -- until she told me she told the new neighbors to turn down their music and they wouldn't, so she told the landlady that they were lesbians and the landlady kicked them out.

It's like -- wtf?! That sort of mean-spririted hypocrisy will come back to haunt her, I'm sure.
rape crisis center:
hurrah you called me today!!
you moved, and I so understand.
I wish though, I'd known bc I would have gladly helped schelepp boxes & whatnots but you did call so Yaaaaaaah!
am still a wee bit intimidated, but have faith in the training you signed me up for the end of the month.

thankful & appreciatively,

that is plain ate-up that that woman would do that.
kharma. totally.
how sad.

I heart you too smile.gif

I might just be coming to you soon.
just for a quickie weekend for a wedding, but oh to see my favoristist season of FALL in my favoritest place (ok, continentally speaking) on earth and get some of your yummy cider at garwoods...
and I could see daddyB while I was there too maybe.. and all the family there as well.
- what kinda of mama would I be to consider going w/out frecklette tho? probably one some less stressed, and it's not like she's 2 anymore; she & the mr would be totally Fine w/out me and could bliss out on x-box & taco bell.
prodigal daughter
dear people in charge at work,

please don't kill my dog. please. he's just a little nutty and he's had a rough life. watch him play fetch for hours on end, watch him being a happy, playful 1 1/2 year old puppy. watch him eat cupcakes and horde his squeaky toys in pure bliss. he's a good guy, really, he is. that bitch was making him crazy the other day. she knew exactly what she was doing. you only saw that little show she put on through the glass, you didn't see how she had been provoking him and staring him down just minutes before. and now you've put him on death row?! it wasn't even his fault! he deserves to go home on wednesday, not put to sleep. people are ready and willing to take him. let them. he isn't a danger to society. he honestly isn't.

just please. please listen to me tomorrow. please?

another member of freckle admiration society
(((faerietails & pupper)))

dear doctor bedside-manner-from-hell,

in the past three weeks, i lost a young cousin in a horrific motorcycle accident, and there have been three school shootings in the past week. i can't watch the news. it hurts too much. and it feeds my everpresent fears.

it's taking a superhuman effort for me to even let my kid walk out the door every morning.

this is why i wanted the xanax prescription, you coldhearted superior bitch.

i honestly don't know why i waste my time, writing letters to you in my head. you are just a suckass doctor. plain and simple. but it does bother me that you're probably being ineffective and cruel to others as well.

i'm this close to writing to you. i want you to know what you did to me. but i know it would be the absolute wrong thing to do.

nothing stopping me from gently and subtly badmouthing you to your colleague, though.

yours in grudgeland,

dear universe,

can't you just drop a lovely new empathetic doctor into my lap? someone who will become my new best friend? someone i can trust enough to tell every last ounce of the truth to? preferably not a rabid health nut, and if he looked like johnny depp, that would be most excellent.


((((((((((((((((((((((mando sweetie))))))))))))))))))))))))))

my gosh I know what you mean about letting the boy child go to school.
makes you start to think reeeeeeeal hard about homeschooling ey?

I wish I could kick your dr in the nuts.
I know that's not nice, but occassionly, neither-am-I.
what a prickass. give her the damn medicine already, and let the world seem a little kinder, even if it's really not. it's not like it's coming out of YOUR pocket or anything.
what a sad state of the world when the healers of our place Refuse to heal.

I was right, we now have a BABY tiny little Squigglette, just about the size of a comma.
mama Squiggle seems to be still not doing so hot, and as the boy Squiggle died after their mating, I don't know how this bodes. however, this is such a (cheesey) historic event, as never before have we/I (bc the wee girl could care less) raised 2 generations.
wish I could take pictures for y'all to see.

you: uh huh.
fuck me an uncle.
I just cannot believe it.

too much in shock to process this yet,

Dear long lost friend,
I wonder what has become of you. I hope you are doing better then when I last heard from you. Hopefully you have gotten yourself together and out of the gutter. Figured out what you want out of life and learned how to let yourself he happy. Or guess, realized that you do deserve to be happy. Maybe you have settled down? Maybe someday, you'll look me up and let me know how you are doing. Best wishes.......

dear cold-hearted bitches,

don't you dare fucking even look at me tomorrow. don't look at me, don't look at him, and don't make any smart-assed comments. don't come and try to make him bark. just leave us the fuck alone. you've done enough damage. rot in hell.


next time you go all harey cary & order a user-spy program to catch the lieing bastard, be sure to know how it works and how it sets up first.
you got this thing, and then realised you don't know how to shut off the anti-virus on the new computer neccessary to install it.

major STUPID.

he might not have actually fucked anyone yet, but today proves he is definately in the market to.





company I ordered it from:
please let me cancel Right Now.
otherwise when it is billed on the bank statement, he'll know what I've done anyway & I won't have even gotten to use it.

why didn't I think this thing through better first?


soooo gunning for you.
stupid fucker. just when I think we're again finally in a better place.
save your lame-ass apology e-card, what you need is a backhoe to start shoveling.
maybe a 30 foot ladder?
I really. cannot. believe. you.


person who is, right now, legally bonded to you
Freckle, I'm so so sorry you're going through that- I just hope that you have people (apart from us!) to support you the way you seem to look out for everyone else!
That really, reaalllllly does suck.

i'm at a loss. but a tiny bit of unsolicited advice, from someone who cares?

of course i don't know all the details, but maybe - just maybe - it's not what you think.
and i don't think you can completely erase the transaction from the credit card bill. it's going to show up as a sale, and then a credit. try to call someone and speak to them personally.

(((faerietails))) my heart is aching for you right now.

dear mr mando,

thanks for sticking by me for 20 yrs. and putting up with all my shit.
you deserve so much better.
i wish i could give you what you want. and need.
i wish we could get back what we had.





make. up. your. frickin. stupid. mind. or. leave. me. the. fuck. alone. you say one thing and do another. you said you were leave. don't be doing any whiny crap cuz i can't handle it. i'm still your friend but i'm not sure i want to be anymore.

I got the program to work and install w/ some tech help from the company.

but yah, it's going to show up on the bank statement, which I have realised too late he checks online, so my window for info is tiny tiny as he's been working on all it the last few days.
$100** probably totally wasted.
he really won't have the grounds to be upset about it though, will he.
or am I crazi to think the words sent in an email of : I hope you haven't forgotten me? to be damning?

maybe he'll hang himself quickly?

and no, there's not a one person around here I can tell, bc it's a small-knit community and Facade is Everything sad.gif

Freckle, Can you call the company, and find out what they call themselves on their bills so that you can front it out?
I mean they may do the virtual equivalent of *discreet packaging?*

Are they damning? Honey, I have no clue. Kinda depends who it's addressed to, context, and all that.

I guess all I can say is that if I can help, listen, do anything please let me know, and I'm always up for a pm if you'd rather.....

Oh, and congratulations on your seamonkeybaby.

dear cruze,

i'm so, so, so sorry baby. i feel like i betrayed you. please please don't hate me. i had to be there because you were my friend. and i'm sorry that you weren't feeling well today, but we still had a good time, right? i'll take good care of your little cow squeakie, i promise. i won't forget you. tonight i shall drink to you.

dear world,

fuck you.

dear busties,

thanks for the vibes. they don't seem like much, but they do help, especially since i'm not talking about this to anyone i actually know in person. well, today i burst into tears against my will in front of my teacher while she was scolding me for being a lazy ass, if that counts as "telling" anyone anything. well at least that got her off my back for a while (lol)...

(((mando)))...and happy anniversary!


Dear next week,

Please Please Please hurry up and get here....

I want to go home. I want to get my hugs from my girl cuzzuns, I want all my work to be done, I want to smell that smell that home smells like, speak normally, see the skyline, hear the bugs, and get a little tar on my heel.

You know I don't usually wish my life away- so just this once?
Thank you,

Dear Suppliers,

Listen. I have immovable deadlines. I need to get this stuff done. Early last week is not late this week.
Why can't you sort yourselves out? It's really starting to bug me.
Maybe you could try the realistic timeline strategy?

the program has already (sinse he came home today) yielded itself valuable as the fucker already sent Her some more emails and is going to "call you tomorrow if that's ok so let me know."


cool freckle, play it cool bc he Is hanging himself.

=shakes head=

back to scouring the 1/2 bath tile floor.

I clean when I am most upset.

thanks for the hugs, I really need them right now.
ETA, I'm so sorry Fairie... (((((Cruze)))))

Oh And Freckle too.... (((((Freckle)))))
Ugh ((((freckle))))

(((((((faerie))))))) my heart aches for you and little ((((((cruze)))))) sad.gif

((faerietails and pupper))
Dear Canadian Public,

I hope that you are able to see that the Conservative government's latest cuts to women's advocacy groups are the first step towards eliminating Canada's abortion laws. Let's face it - banning or outlawing abortions is not just the legistlation, it's also about limiting access to information. By closing women's centers, this government is closing venues that young women can trust to distribute information about reproduction, without the vail of religion or ideaology. By denying women's groups the basic funding to lobby and do research, they're effectively silencing women's voices before they will be trully needed.

Wake up Canada, before it's too fucking late.

Love, a very angry citizen.

that is all

hurry the fuck up already. i don't give a flying fuck if lindsey or french or simon have appeals, they did no fucking work while I revised like fuck and got ill - probably from fucking stress. Give me the fucking decision already before I really do go fucking postal.

dear everyone
sorry about the number of times I just used the word "fuck"

older, learning still,

one of these days maybe we'll get it right..

possibly the blow out and revelations were way past due, but once again, our bottom line is love, and damnit, I do love you, even tho it hurts me more than I wish.

just don't be stupid and this won't happen again.



==== I am regretful to inform everyone here that Ms Squiggle, Mother Of Squigglette, went on to her greater Sea Monkey Reward this afternoon and is floating peacefully at the bottom of the tank now.
Squigglette remains happy, healthy & apparently oblivious. ==

in lieu of flowers, please make a donation at your local aquarium. smile.gif
((((faerietails and cruze))))
Dear lovey,

*insert mushy stuff here*

Thank you for getting ice cream. You rule!

-Your lov-ah

Dear Mr.Luci's mom,

I know it's not traditional or whatever, but how's about just being happy that your son is so happy and leave it at that? I don't want to walk down an aisle, have favors or matching flowers or bridesmaids or dance or anything. Your son doesn't want any of those things. Is it awful of me to want you to know you should be glad that we're actually doing anything at all? That courthouse is looking mighty tempting right now.

-Your future daughter-in-law

Dear Asshat Bongoboy Neighbour,

Fuck off.

No seriously. Fuck off.

I SO can't wait till you move out.

I'm SO pissed off that you think you can do whatever you want because you're moving out.

I'm SO pissed off that you CAN do whatever you want, because the legislation says the landlords can't even evict you for creating a disturbance without giving you a month's notice, and you'll be long gone by then.

Thank god. But too bad for the rest of us that in the meantime, you get away with being a self-centred asshat.

I don't know who the fuck you think you are. I don't know where the fuck you think you are. I don't know who taught you how to behave, but you don't live with mommy and daddy anymore, so it's time you figured out how to live in the real world.

You'd like to blame everyone else for being unsympathetic to your need to have your youthful fun. You'd think you'd figure out that you're the problem.

Like, last June. Remember that? When you were riding your mini motorbike around on the lawn? And the landlords were away so someone called the RCMP. And you ran from a cop! And she caught you anyway. And YOU called her - a woman cop - "honey!" Like a dumbass. And then when you got fined $1,000, you blamed everyone but yourself.

Actually, you blamed me. Which I let you do. Because the woman who actually made the call to the RCMP was terrified you'd come after her, so I took the fall. That was fine with me at the time - I've eaten bigger asshats than you for breakfast.

And the music. Well, I let the music go over the summer. I was being nice. It was summer. La di da. Have fun, I thought. And then we'll all settle down in September when the real world encroaches on our lives again.

And now. Now with the music and the partying and the fucking bongo drums. And when I tell the landlady - which I've had to do more than once or twice (I mean, come one, who *starts* up their music at 4 in the morning on a Wednesday, for fuck's sake?) - and she tells you to stop, you go right back to doing it.

So today, when she told you to stop, and whatever else she told you, you were so pissed at ME, as if you should have had the right to play fucking bongo drums in an apartment, you walked right up to my wall and smashed the drum around a dozen or so times just to make your point. And then you came back tonight and went right back to the music and the noise, and I had to send a cop to your door. I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you?

What really ticks me off is that YOU think I'M the problem. Which probably comes from that tactical error on my part, in allowing you to think I called the RCMP in June. Because of that, you now undoubtedly think I'm the only person who's pissed off at your asshattery.

No, sweetie. I'm just the only one who's got the guts to let you know you're not the centre of the universe.

You claim to be 20 years old. Well, kiddo, when I was 20, I was also living on my own. And I had a good time. Had a lot of crazy sex, went out and met a lot of people, partied, had folks over, you know. But I was very respectful of my neighbours. Never had a complaint.

Actually, I've been living in apartments most of my life, as a child and an adult. No complaints. I live my life, everyone lives their lives, it's all cohesive and copasetic.

I don't know why you can't take responsibility for your own problems. Maybe you didn't get enough love as a child. Maybe you're not far enough away from mommy and daddy's protective arms yet.

But you're not a child anymore. Seriously, if you want to be treated like an adult, try acting like one. You'd be surprised how that can work for you.

And in a week or so, when you're gone, gone, gone from this building, I'm sure we're both going to be terribly happy.

Especially me. 'Cause you know what? I moved here for the quiet. And I've lived here for 10 years. And oddly enough, I never had a single problem until you moved in.

Oh, but I forgot. Everyone else is to blame for your problems. You're just a 20 year old white male, trying to have fun.

Fuck off and own your shit.

The Bitch Next Door
hair stylist:
you trully are a Goddess.
my hair looks fabulous And you do good works for others.
please don't move before I do.
your 12:00 appointment

so Killer.
no more micro short pixie do's that grow out awful I promise.
sleek and sexy from here out.

new do, better awareness, great new program at the end of the month, things are looking up!
remember the good stuff when things looks otherwise.
chin up,

= I love the ignore botton! =

update on the girl:

her dad is making more of an effort it seems lately. still not letting her ride to school w/ us yet, but
he let her stay over friday night, which was a suprise, and so we all hung out & had a nice time.
then her dad calls me tues afternoon to see if I can pick her up from her after school club, bc the gf isn't abel to. not a problem. but the girl forgets to stay, calls me from her house upset due to that, I offer to drive her back to school but w/ her dad's permission. he goes all nutty ansd starts yelling at her about her Responsibilites & Commitments and basically says NO. fine. she has to respect what her dad says bc he's the parent and I didn't completely disagree w/ him tho did think it was alittle much.

I have been trying really hard to distance myself from this, and let him do the parenting, bc she's not my child.

last night. I catch my frecklette on the phone w/ the girl at 9:30 pm. holler at her " OFF THE PHONE NOW." and she hangs up. then when I go to tuck her in, she tells me that _ is there by herself again.
I ask my freck if I should call to check on her. she says no, or then yes, but only if I don't tell her I told you she's by herself. so I call. she's almost ready for bed, I make sure the house is locked up, dogs are with her, she-feels-safe, and remind her she can call me anytime if she needs. she says she's in bed and going to sleep.
10:00 PM and the girl has been Totally ALONE sinse she got home from school at 3:50, w/ her dad not due in til 11:00pm.

.. I was starting to feel bad about calling dss. starting to think I had misjudged maybe after all..
when her dad called to ask if I could pick her up tues, he also made a big point of explaining in more detail what had gone down at the meeting w/ the school councelor and it boiled down to _ "exaggerating the situation" and the councelor Yelled At Her For It. now I know first hand that kids will do that, but I'm not getting that in this case, not that I know that much about it. I realise that adults have more credibility, but shouldn't the kids be given the benefit of the doubt too? especially when they was a prior investigation of abuse?

Dear Boy -

I have been thinking since our conversation the other night and the things you said were true. I was so so selfish when you came to me earlier this year asking for help and I just brushed it off. I said I had wanted to work through stuff back then yet I didn't show by my actions that I cared. I was selfish and I can see how deeply that hurt you - especially when a couple of months later, I called you in the lowest of lows and you were there unselfishly for me. I tell you that touched me, and it did - so deeply - and yet I would not step out of myself to give you the same support. If I put the shoe on the other foot, if you did the stuff I'd done in the last year right in front of you, in front of me, and then you came to me and said that after being broken up for almost two years that you wanted to give it a try, I'd tell you to fuck off, not even be as nice as you were to me. I'm so so sorry. I hurt you and there is nothing to do but own up and see it now. I can be so selfish and I have been told that many times in relationships and I do see why. I think that the world revolves around me. Yes, you were right when you said that it was unfair of me to all of a sudden want to try things again because I was ready, on MY time schedule.

I want to be there. I love you and your son. I want to get to know you again. After all this time, it still comes back to you for me. I know I thew away 7 years because you weren't doing things on my time schedule. I know it hurt you and I know you told me then that if I came back in a year or two that it was over for good.

But life evolves. I can't prove anything to you other than just being who I am and growing, and seeing this stuff. I dont' want to hurt you any more. I want to be there with you. I think that we still have something if we are both willing to work at it.

but I understand why you wouldn't want to, after being hurt so badly by me. I have no excuse. I'm done defending myself. At the end of the day, defending my actions gets me nowhere except wound up and upset. The bottom line is I'm sorry. I see how badly I hurt you and I can understand why you just want to live your life and possibly be some kind of friends.

It's always felt, even in the last couple of years, like there was a part of you there with me, because I thought you still wanted me. How egotistical of me. Now I just feel like a part of me is gone. It took almost 2 years for that to sink in, and it did after our conversation the other night. You really mean it, and I'm so so so sad. I feel like I've lost a limb. I can't stop crying.

I wish you could find an iota of trust in me. I know that life will go on, but you are such a part of my life, why did it take me 2 years of being broken up to truly appreciate just how much?

I'm so sorry, and I love you.

I'm sorry that I don't verbalize my appreciation for you. But to be honest, these days, I'd just appreciate it if you'd shut up for a few minutes every day. I don't want to f-up our friendship, but if I keep telling you that you are the penultimate individual on the face of the planet, it will lose all meaning and I'll just keep getting increasingly bitter. And please, for once, just be cool about the new boy, okay?


New Boy,

I really, really like you. I trust you, and that's new to me. It scares me. Please, please don't screw me over. Please. And please, put my mind to rest and tell me that you're not seeing anyone else, and that this is a legitimate thing.



Whatever you do, please refrain from telling previously mentioned new boy that you think you might love him. It's way too soon for that. I know that you could love him- just don't get ahead of yourself.

dear lady in client's accounting dept,

look, i'm only trying to find out if a payment has been made. i know your company is going through money issues right now. i have heard from several people that you're in collections with several of your vendors. but my company is not a bank! we are paying people for work they're completing at your site. without these people, you wouldn't be producing the machinery and wouldn't be able to sell them to make more money! you'd think we'd be sorta important. maybe not the first people you pay, but definitely up in the top five, yes? we shell out the $30-40K to pay these people each week, why aren't you paying us??

you've been over your $300K credit limit for months now. i've been begging for extensions for your company all this time JUST so i can pay the guys that are working for me, FOR YOU! first, you lied to me and told me a payment was sent last week. and now you're dodging my calls!?! i know you are in your office. i should just get up and walk over to your office and sit in front of you until you come up with an answer. last time you actually answered and said you had a check for us, i asked you for the check number and you scoffed as though i didn't believe that you had one... well, i didn't!! and can you fucking blame me??? what the fuck is wrong with you?

can't you see that i'm here as your liaison? i don't understand why you are avoiding me. honestly, it rather scares me. i've already been told by my corporate office that they will NOT approve a credit extension next week, which means i have seven new people that might not get paid on time. of course, they'll still get paid because MY company wouldn't allow them not to. but i will NOT put another new person at your site until i get something from you. which brings me to a whole new set of problems because i AM EVALUATED on the number of NEW PEOPLE i can bring in each week!!!

is it true that your company is in the red and in danger? should i be looking for another post? please just talk to me. if you did, you wouldn't have my fucking collections dept. crawling up your ass and wouldn't be so frustrated that you have to hide. don't you get it?

but no. you won't care. you have your jaguar that you can drive away in and forget about the hard-working underlings that work their asses off to make your payments for you, while you sit around and dodge fucking phone calls all day. you still get paid every week, on time. why should you fucking care?

i have zero respect for you.

fuck you.
Dear Son,

Thank you for changing my life. Because of you, I turned off the path toward junkie-ville loser and onto the path toward mindful motivated mother. It's been a year since your birth and no matter how frustrated I get with the challenges and sometimes missing my old life, I'm a better person because of you.


Dear BabyDaddy,

Thanks for being such a fucking asshole. We didn't need you, anyway.


Dear Mother,

Get off my back.


Dear Boyfriend,

Thank you for being so hilarious and helpful. You're capable of more than you give yourself credit for. Perhaps I'll let my gaurd down someday and really trust you, but don't hold your breath.

Dear SF,

Acutally, this letter isn't to you. It's more of a "i'm throwing this out there". Just wanted to say I heard through the grapevine something that warmed my cockles. Not suprising that you've been cheating on your girlfriend for more than half your relationship. Made my day. Won't relish in it too much, cause really, you're barely a blip on the radar these days, but I must say I laughed my fucking ass off when the first thing out of my mother's mouth when I told her was "WHAT A WHORE."


Dear Body;

Please don't get sick. You don't want to spend your vacation week off in bed (well, not forced, anyway).
Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you.

I know I never say it enough, but after hearing all the issues my coworker has with her life, I really need to say it.

Again, thank you.
fucker fuckface-

not buying food again huh.
have learned that your girl wasn't feeling well in school today, bc she hadn't eaten dinner last night or breakfast this morning. your nasty fatass hasn't missed a meal in hundreds of years apparently, but hey- priorities right?

the thought of picking her up at the bus stop and driving her to school despite what you say is very strong in my mind, BUT, that could probably be construed as kidnapping or some such legal trouble.
so- am going to carry a snack cake & glass of milk in a paper cup and drop it w/ her as we pass tomorow and whatever days that need to follow. you never had a problem w/ me feeding her in the morning you might recall, so as long as she doesn't ride w/ us, there's nothing you can say about it.
then, after I get home tomorrow morning, I'm calling dss Again.
the school has let me down as far as their response, even that great social worker I thought so much of.
but you know.. the Rape Crisis Center has moved to a new location inside a center for children... I have been blessed w/ a big mouth & too little thought control;
maybe kismet and the good Gods that Be has brought it all together for her thru me?

you don't deserve her.

this Ain't Over fatman.


your kids bff's mom
Dear Mum,
You are an amazing woman. You have given me my world and I try to never forget that.

But please stop copying me. It is distressing.
And please at least try not to be such a superior, rude snob.

Thank you.
== the girl and her dad have a meeting w/dss tonight at 6:00.==

she just called upset, bc they called him at work and he called her and wants to know if she told anyone she was being abused.
no, she didn't.
she told Me that there wasn't any food in the house. she told ME that she was left home alone late into the evenings sometimes, which we knew for ourselves to be true. so I told her, no, you never used the "being abused" words exactly (so she woudln't be technincally Lieing to her dad when asked), And you told the school people the same stuff you told me (bc she was afraid he was going to know I called them) and I pointed out that there are certain things that the school councelors are required By Law to Report. and that is totally and nothing to do with her control. I pointed out that there was a whole team of people at this point, that were worried and concerned for her, and that we all want what's best for her. and then I told her to promise me she wouldn't back down from speaking the truth when they questioned her (hopefully w/out her dad in the same room w/ her at the time) bc She DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

this poor baby... so afraid they will take her away from him, but also knowing that how he was treating her (she said it was better Now) wasn't right either.

all good thinking loving Busty thoughts for a good outcome for tonights meeting please,
I will probably be a nervous wreck til I know one way or the other.
no word yet bc there's still 30 minutes before the meeting, but...

as it just so happens, I met an actual DSS Case Worker today when I was taking a census skills test.
when we had a break, I asked her how long the investigation ususally took, and gave her a bare bones overview of the situation. she told me that in cases of sexual abuse of kids under 3, they respond Immediately, but otherwise they have 72 hours to at least initally contact the parties involved, and then up to a full 30 days to Complete and turn in their findings.
72 days is way past when I made the call, so I am wondering... maybe me talking to this woman might just have done something good? maybe I'm crazy, but what kinda fabulous would it be if she were the actual case worker assigned? I really do believe that things like this happen sometimes and I believe in the intrinsic good of people.

please let this turn out to a positive situation.
My Dearest Math Baron,

You are really sweet. I honestly don't know what to do with you most days Silently I wait, wait for a shoe to drop. A familiar nastiness that will make my heart race and wonder what the fuck is going on. Something to drag on and give me that rotten feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I am waiting to make the "wrong" move and scare you off. I don't even know if I am capable of making the "wrong" move anymore, but there it is. Looming over me. Paranoid, no? Well, I am.

I think that this is going in such an entirely different direction that I am altogether unfamiliar with the terrain. You didn't fuck me on the first date. You have been pretty consistent in your attentions, and here I am worried that you took the day off to think about the horrible mistake you have made in asking me to that wedding. The reality is that you probably worked and played your ass off during the week and got sick...I hope that you call me tonight.

I hope that you're the real deal.

I hope that I haven't gone completely retarded, because my radar is OFF. So badly. Really, it makes me sad. This is stupid, me worrying so. I feel stupid. I want you to hold my've been burned just as badly as me. Please let me know that I haven't gone completely daft.

--Minxy, who needs an attitude adjustment
so it's ok.

the girl called me about 45 minutes after the meeting was scheduled and said her dad knew it was me, that all the accusations almost Had to be from me bc I knew so much, but that it was ok bc he said he knew that I just wanted her to be in a good home. she said she didn't think he was mad.

...she wasn't home this morning when my girl called her though (the girls talk Every Morning before school, period) so we still don't know what's going on.
it's not that I want her dad to be all psycho at me or anything,but I find this calmness unnatural. what if he goes all crazy yet?
or, maybe I am greatly maligning his character.
I just want her to be in a home where she is safe and protected and taken care of. that is the least of which every child and person deserves.

why why why do I always feel the need to get involved? why do I assume that it's MY personal responsibility to mama everyone? why can't I just let things be? to let other people pick up what they see?
why does my heart get so involved long before my brain ever thinks of kicking in?

sometimes, just being yourself is chore enough sad.gif
Dear little angel,
It's only been a week since your short blip in this universe ended, and now I can thankfully talk about it without crying. Everything I've read, everything the doctors have told me, it was nothing I did, and nothing I could have done to prevent it. But you managed to bring your daddy and I even closer. You tested our ability to handle tragedy together, and we passed. And you gave me hope. Hope that I can do this again without having to take fertility drugs or go to drastic measures. So your short time here was not wasted. Perhaps you are just waiting until a better time, and I will see you again soon and we will have a chance to finish the journey that was cut short. I love you!
dear V

uve come into my life and turned my world upside down, and nothing i know is the same anymore.
i hope you leave him soon, coz this is driving me crazy.

your princess


dear shmp

i let you go a long time ago, i hope your happy with K and i wish you all the luck in the world. no hard feelings yeah? u deserve all the success in the world with this job of urs.

p.s. i miss our bunnies



[color=#009900] dear me

bitterness has consumed you for far too long. u are happier now uve let it go. u can get on with ur life


I'll tell you the story of "The Star Catcher"

A bunch of people went out to the beach at low tide and collected the living starfish that were stranded in the tidal pools. They put them in their baskets to let them die and dry out so they could sell them to souvenir stores.

One man walked along the beach, calmly scooping up a starfish here and there and giving it a big overhand toss back into the ocean. He didn't try to stop the other people or yell at them, and he wasn't frantic or anything.

One person said to him, that's nice, but why bother, because the rest are going to die anyway, you can't save them all.

No, he says, but I feel good saving one or two.


this girl is right next to you, and you don't want to turn away. You feel good about it. That's cool. Nothing wrong with it.
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