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Dear I,

Please send us what we have been waiting for. It will make life so much easier, and we can start our new goals.


Dear E,
What is going on with you? You seem to have been withdrawing more and more over the past year and now when I do get to see you, it's like being around a stranger. I noticed it starting when you started dating J and I just chalked it up to the newness of the relationship between the two of you. So what can I chalk it up to now? You never call anymore, unless you want something. You never come by, ever, and I live right up the street from you and your work so you could stop by anytime. I am no longer comfortable coming to your house because you and J's behavior makes me feel uncomfortable, like I'm some intruder instead of like I'm your FRIEND. You seem so FAKE and DISTRACTED when I see you, like you're ON or something. Like an actress. I have tried to invite you both to do things, to involve J now that you seemed to have felt the need to MARRY this person, not that you invited me or anything! But, when I ask you to do things with me, you tell me you have to see what HIS mood is? and call me back!!!! Then you don't call back. I invite you to do something and you refuse to make a decision until you ASK HIM, except he's OUT with friends and you can't get ahold of him and when he does get home HE has ALREADY MADE PLANS for BOTH of you. Good thing you were waiting around all day to ASK HIM about OUR plans while he was out making plans for both of you and NOT waiting around to ask you (can you FEEL the sarcasm there?). Then you cave in and do what HE wants you to do with HIS friends even though I asked WAY IN ADVANCE for you to get together with me! God, you almost seem like a snob, like you're too good to hang out with me and the Mr. now that you're married. It also seems that maybe J is calling ALL the shots and CHOOSING your friends for you. I can't believe either that you come to my daughters birthday party, hardly speak to anyone EXCEPT J, who doesn't speak to ANYONE and you both huddle in the corner of the kitchen with your son who totally freaks out about EVERYONE and EVERYTHING (maybe you guys are taking "close knit family" a bit far, huh?) Maybe you should pull that "I'm SOOOOOO married" pole out of your ASS and be a fucking friend, get out a bit more, try socialising your son a bit (with someone besides J...... and you wonder why your son SUPER FREAKS over everything?) and try to dislodge yourself from his (your son's) ass a bit (what are you trying to do, keep him from growing up? from having actual experiences?), J's ass too (GET UNSTUCK GIRL, THERE IS MORE TO LIFE) I'm not sure why I even care because the more I think about it, the more you seem like a person I wouldn't want to be friends with anyway. You want someone who will be there for YOU, but where are you when someone else is in need. Oh, that's right, you're at home playing Polly Perfect with you're neurotic 1 year old and a husband you've KNOWN LESS THAN A YEAR!
You know, now that I've written this, I don't think we are friends anymore. And I'm OK with that. The world is FULL of shallow people, I can find another one of you if I want to, or maybe I'll hold out for a REAL friend.
dear universe,
please let that FedEx guy be honest and that he sealed the envelope without doing anything heinous. please let the envelope get there on time and be stamped as "received."
also, could you maybe help me get my act together, because I've been scattered for a while now and it doesn't seem to be getting better.
But most of all, please let that FedEx guy be as nice as he seemed, because identity theft would screw me up royally. Thank you.
(apologies for being a thread hog)

Dear friends, Did I not get the "Let's not talk to J" memo? I mean I come back from this kick ass trip from Portland, and no one is to be found. I miss you all. And, pretty soon I won't be near any of you. It would just be nice to get a phone call or an email once and a while. I know everyone is busy, but jesus. One phone call to check in.

Dear me, stop with the fucking insomnia and get some sleep. I know you're worried about the job market. Also, what's with the depression lately? You're sassy. Go out there and be it damnit!

Parents, stop freaking the fuck out over little things like phone bills. I know that we're all strapped for cash lately. I WILL find a job. Quit making me feel bad. Support me. I know it's frustating because you're in a different state. But, I'm fine with that really. There's a good deal of space. Although, portland trip was a load of fun, and I got to see you as people instead of my "parents." It was a nice change of pace. Now, you're back to leaving me hate emails and hate voicemails. What gives?

Dear body, what's with the water weight lately? I feel so bloaty. Please drink more water.

Portland guy, I so like you. Why the fuck must you be a million miles away? Why can't you just come to Atlanta for awhile....and shag me rotten. :-)

Atlanta boys, where are you? Everyone I meet lately is such a bore. Could it kill some of you to read and follow the news? Ugh.

D, I hate you. I hate that you still invade my dreams. I hate that you hurt me, and caused me so much pain. I hate that it is still taking me too long to get over you. You weren't that great. Everyone told me that he was the lucky one, and no one congratulated me on the engagement. They didn't know. They didn't know about the bruises. I want you to burn in hell. Karma's a bitch baby. Just know that. I just hope for K's sake that he got away from you fucked up Klanish redneck "beat her, and that'll solve the problems" family. What the fuck did I almost marry in? Where the hell was my brain? I'm alive. That's all that counts. You're far far away. You can't hurt me anymore. Fuck you.

Dear back/shoulder,

Please stop hurting. I am in agony here and cannot turn to my left and the pain is spreading down my arm.
I don't understand how I could just wake up to so much pain - it was the other shoulder that I slammed the car boot door down upon on Sunday night so by rights it should be that side that's hurting (although it is affecting my typing and that's not good just now).

I'm in pain, cut me some slack.

Dear you (again),

I am so proud of you for what you did last night. It took guts to admit it and face it all head on like that. And I am so glad you did. I forgive you, I'm not mad, just very worried and relieved too. I really do love you more than I can say. I hate to see you struggle and in pain. I think you were given some promising leads. Please, stay on top of them. I can help, but I can't do it for you. I will, however, hold your hand every step of the way, if that is what you want. I meant it when I said I love you more than the moon and the stars, even if it sounds way cornier than it did when we young.

Dear ...,

I know that I can do nothing about this now, and my fate has been sealed since February, but I just found out the bar exam results come out tomorrow morning. I worked so hard and this has been a year of my life. I like my job and am happy with my position in life and I don't want to get fired. Please, please don't let me fail a second time. I am so, so scared, I just want this so badly and I can't imagine how I will face anyone or myself if I get bad results. Please, oh please, oh please, let me have passed. Then I can do all the things I have wanted to do but have put on hold for so many months, waiting for this moment. Please give me strength to look up the results and deal with whatever comes my way tomorrow. I don't remember wanting something so badly in a very long time, and I really don't know what will happen to my career or my spirit if I didn't pass.

Dear S,

How fucking presumptious of you to think the "opportunity was there" to still have sex with me. What do you think I'm sitting here pining away for you, not moving on with my life and just wasting everyday thinking about you? How conceited can you be? Honestly, you prove to me time and time again that you are worthless to me. That you are just a user and abuser. You say I shouldn't get to the point where I don't care, but honestly I want to get to that point, because I DON'T WANT TO CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE. I hate you more than words can say. I want to spew venom at you. If I were you I wouldn't expect to hear from me ever again. I wouldn't expect a call from me after I come back from Vermont. I don't expect to hear from you on my birthday, or any other time for that matter.


I loved meeting "him" and seeing hearts and sparkles and hearing a little choir of angelic voices. But please, can I meet him again? And this time can you please grant either one of us the power of speech long enough to actually ask for phone numbers. I've never felt that love-at-first-site thing before, please don't let it be for nowt!


Ps. Blushing, though cute, is not my best look. Maybe put a halt to that responce to his gaze. Maybe some air-brushing instead? But, he can still blush. That's cute.
Dear self,

I'm proud of you for not worrying or thinking too much about I today. You know when you don't worry good things always happen and are received.


Dear designermedusa,

Thank I'm gonna copy your letter to yourself and send it to myself.

Um, I mean "think I'm gonna..."
dear self,

quit being so mean to us! you have a cold! it's a sucky sucky sucky little cold, but it's knocked you out and there you go. you have to respect it, or it's just going to last longer. you would be working on your to-do list if you were well, but you are not. you are ill.

so, brew your tea, pop in a movie, watch the kitties lick their right forepaws in total synchronicity (weird), and chill.

Dear boy,

Are your fingers broken?

dear self-
calm the FUCK down. now you're just getting sloppy; missing deadlines, missing paperwork. gettin' yo panties in a bunch ain't gonna help.

Dear R,

I've been thinking, I really don't have feelings for you in the romantic way. I have friendship feelings for you, but I don't want to kiss you or have you in my bed. My bed is special to me. And you don't belong in it. You are too young for me. You prefer video games over intellectual wit. I want a are a boy. So I'm going to tell you today that I think we should just be friends. Sexually we're not working out and that's important to me. You're too purist for me. If I wanted an Amish boy, I'd go to Pennsylvania. So don't be upset, we can still kick it and be friends...just no dating or anything like that.

Dear R,

I've been thinking, I really don't have feelings for you in the romantic way. I have friendship feelings for you, but I don't want to kiss you or have you in my bed. My bed is special to me. And you don't belong in it. You are too young for me. You prefer video games over intellectual wit. I want a are a boy. So I'm going to tell you today that I think we should just be friends. Sexually we're not working out and that's important to me. You're too purist for me. If I wanted an Amish boy, I'd go to Pennsylvania. So don't be upset, we can still kick it and be friends...just no dating or anything like that.

Dear M,

I feel very upset and blindsided by the F I received in your class. Yesterday I made the comment, “oh I’ll probably fail,” and you said, “no, I would have warned you about that beforehand.” I did fail, but you did not give me ANY inclination that I was doing so poorly in your class. I know I missed five days, three of them because I had a stomach virus in which you told me not to come to class. Had I known I was going to fail your class I would have gone in for tutoring or something of that nature. I made mostly C’s and B’s in your class, I thought I would at least get a C in your class.
I needed to pass your class as it was the last time it was going to be offered, since they are changing the program requirements at school. I did enjoy your class and did all the work that was required of me. I am upset and embarrassed at my grade in your class. I honestly thought I did better than that. I wish you would have told me I was doing so poorly. I would have come to class even on the days I had the stomach virus.
At this point I don’t know what to do. I am seriously considering dropping out and moving to Pakistan, seeing as how now I won’t be able to graduate. I wish you would have agreed to meet me in person, but I understand if you did not want to. I want to believe that I am a good writer, but now I’m not so sure. I don’t want to pursue journalism anymore if my writing is so horrible.

Sorry to hog the thread...

Dear God,

Do you just hate me or something? I'm trying to be good, I'm staying away from sex, etc...and still I get shit on. What's going on? What do you want from me? What am I supposed to do? I'm lost and confused, and scared, and angry, and despise myself. What do you want from me? They say you never give more than a person can handle, but you've given me more than my fair share of shit since I was I being punished for my parent's mistake? I don't get it. What is going on?

Dear you -

I'm sitting here wishing we were having one of our old conversations or IM sessions.
I miss our friendship.
I wish we'd never crossed that line.
I wish I could take it back.
I know it will probably never be the same again.
I miss you so much.

Bohemiax, you write clearly and to the point, which is what you need to do as a journalist. Furthermore you have integrity, which many journalists lack. Hang in there and don't let one assy prof put you off track.

Dear L/vesicapisces
I recently came across your post of 12/27/2005 regarding me. You have it as a letter you would never send, however by posting it in public, you *did* in effect send it by putting it out there in the Universe for any and all to read. As I have already indicated to you privately, I respect your right to make whatever decisions are healthy for you. I have no problems speaking my truth to you publicly- it’s an advantage of being willing to speak to you what I would say about you.
You state that you have seen how I respond to criticism, and that you perceive it as vicious. I have sought feedback about this from those with whom I have had significant conflict, and have been informed that while I’m not always gracious under fire, my behavior could hardly be typified as “vicious”, or intentionally harmful. Setting boundaries, and being willing to stand by them is not a vicious act. To the best of my knowledge, I have never treated you with any type of cruelty or viciousness, and I have no idea from what you are drawing this conclusion or what behavior you consider especially vicious; but it is your right to hold what opinions you will. As I remarked to you in my letter in January, it is my experience that I actively sought critical feedback from you and made it clear on more than one occasion that while I did not always agree with your position, and might make a different choice that what you suggested, I valued your input, even when you had something to say that was not pleasant to hear.
You state that you cannot stand by and watch me learn nothing from my experience, nor can you endorse my behavior by your silence. As I said to you in January, I did not ask either for your silence or your endorsement. Your choice to be silent about whatever concerns you had was entirely your decision; yet you seem to resent me for not addressing concerns that you hadn’t expressed to me. In your termination letter to me, you indicate that you were a “poor friend” to me because you didn’t express the concerns, yet rather than accepting the challenge of being a better friend in the future (which would require you take responsibility for your choices); you chose to bail on the relationship and shift the blame for your position to me; acting from fear rather than love. I have been learning from my experiences, although it is unlikely that you would be aware of either what I’ve learned or how I’ve been changing, because out of respect for your stated limits of non-involvement in certain matters; I was not discussing them with you.
You state that you don’t respect me any more and that you don’t like how I am in the world. I accept that you hold that position, but I would note that it seems inconsistent with other statements you have made about how I am a good person, and that you were thankful to have chosen family (me and Kevin) who truly “got” where you were coming from (and that statement was made in November 2005 at anti-turkey day).
You state that I have no room in my philosophy for humanity, my own or anyone else’s’. You are correct if by that, you mean that I don’t accept the argument that “I’m only human,” as an acceptable excuse for justifying crappy behavior (either mine or another’s). Again, I find it ironic that you would avoid responsibility for your own behavior that damaged our friendship, or excuse the toxic behavior of others towards me as being justifiably “human” and expect me to take it and accept it as somehow my due without complaint; yet when I set boundaries or refuse to re-engage in a relationship with someone because of their direct poor treatment of me and their disrespect of my person, you choose to perceive me as “alienating” them and inhuman.
You state I “let my partner work multiple jobs.” With all due regard my dear, the arrangements my partner and I make are our business, not yours. We have a cooperative marriage, whatever issues we need to address we do so. Step off. You state I wouldn’t take a telemarketing job; obviously you are forgetting the ones I applied for. Step off there too. You state that I’m not taking care of my own health. My progress has been slower than I would like, but I am making measurable progress. Granted, my progress might have been quicker with access to a trained physical therapist and therapy equipment, but that was not a feasible option. I’ve done the best I could with the resources I have. I’m neither delusional, nor ignoring my needs. Your time would have been better spent focused on whatever your health needs are rather than judging mine.
I can understand why you would have felt frustrated and like you were wasting your energy if you have been attempting to act in the role of my conscience. With all due respect, the role of my conscience is not one you either have the capacity or the authority to take. It is not for you to define what it means for me to be a “decent” adult, and try to manage me into fulfilling your vision. The process of my growth as an adult is my task, not yours. My success or failure is not yours to determine. I am in the process of creating a powerful, peaceful life, and regardless of how often I have made mistakes, fallen short or fallen down, I will succeed in manifesting my best self.
From my perspective I will always be grateful for the love and affection we did share, for I do not believe love is ever wasted. You were a wonderful part of my life for a very long time, and I loved you deeply. As I have said to you privately, I am about creating and sustaining healthy and nurturing relationships that embody mutual respect, cooperation, accountability, responsibility, integrity and love.
Given that both in your statements above and your behavior to speak hatefully and disrespectfully about me to others, and in public, while actively avoiding any discussion with me about your concerns; it is a good thing, that our relationship is over. I cannot see having a relationship with someone who has no respect for me, for respect is the foundation of all healthy relationships. The most compassionate thing we can do for each other, given your current position, is to not be a part of each others’ lives, so I reclaim from you now all the power of my soul and my heart that I have entrusted to you in the course we journeyed together.
It remains my hope for you that you choose to step more fully into the wholeness that is your birthright, and let go of the fears that keep you silent and that your life overflows with happiness, love and joy.

Peace on your journey

dear cold,

please do go away now

my face hurts

why are my sinuses so clogged?

Dear Bohemiax,

This is a letter I would send. I admire your writing. You are very articulate and strong. I think you are meant to be a writer. Don't give up okay.

Dear Husband,
I love you so much that even in the midst of a storm, I still hear birds singing...aside from the peacock at the wedding...
It still amazes me everyday when I wake up in your comforting arms. It was such a long journey to get there. And if it took going through all of that to become the person I am today, and to be the woman I need to be for you, then it was all worth it.
I will always be behind you 100%. Consider me your own private cheerleader(I'll even wear a uniform if you want). I've already told you what I think you are going to end up doing, But I can see that you still don't have the confidence in yourself. But you have given me so much more confidence in myself, I will give back all that I can.
You can do it. You can do anything, because I believe in you, and I will be right beside you the entire time. You will never have wonder where I am because I'll always been in your heart.
Watching the wedding video last night and seing my heart was so full...and it still is. There just isn't room for unhappiness or unpleasntness anymore.
I love you!
Mrs. Pixiedust


Seriously, that was beautiful.

Dear you,

Just forget what I said. Finally out in the open now isn't it? What the fuck was I thinking? Less then impressed here. fuck fuck fuck fuck.


for the record, I am not interested in being your friend.

am very very glad I could help you out in your time of extreme crisis and even more glad that things are so much better for you now.

that said, that's the end of the line for me as far as chitchat. you really are a sweet and nice person, but you have 2 small, ankle-biting, relatively obnxious younger children and your older kid clearly has some issues too.

please don't call me & put me on the spot about letting said kid use our computer and printer bc as our setup is upstairs in our home-office, I then feel compelled to remove any personal financial paperwork,checkbooks, etc and it's a colassal pain in the ass as that room is Always is some stage of moderate to total disarray.
we're very private people and I greatly resent being put upon like this again.. is it Such an issue to drive your kid the 5 mls down the road to the public library?

un-chummy & still sick so please keep your distance,

Dear B.,
What can I write here that I haven't written to you already in a million stupid email messages you've blocked and a million stupid letters I've then torn up and tossed into the wind?
I'll never love anyone as much as I loved you. After 3 years, I still think of you every day. I've tried to put my heart into my new relationship, and I do love him, but you'll forever be the only true love of my life.
Losing you will always be the greatest tragedy of my life. Funny how I'm not scared of life and the world anymore. Without you, well, there's nothing that can happen to me now. You leaving me in the dust without a word was the best and worst thing you ever did for me.
You bastard.
dear other 5 specimens that I have to measure spinal cord compression on,
Um right... so I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead and come in on Saturday and measure yourselves damn it!

Dear data processing,
You suck.

Dear computer,
Be a dear and stop freezing on me and making this already lengthy, toothachingly tendious process even worse. Or I'll go all office space on your ass.

Dear Dr. C,
I'd like to get off the merry-go round of grad school now please. It ain't so merry any more.
dear you -

it was great to see you and have dinner with you, but it kills me. I miss you. I miss your friendship. I miss being able to call you at any time and just shoot the shit. I miss you quickly becoming one of my best friends. I so so so wish I could turn back the clock and do it all over again, not cross that line, stay friends. I would kill for that back. I wish I had not been in such a hurry. I really do. I wish I had just kept letting our friendship grow, because I know that things would have probably eventually gone in that direction anyway if they had been meant to. I dunno. I just fucking miss what I thought was our deep friendship so so much. And I am bummed that you don't seem to see it, or even seem to care.

I'm so fucking sad
dear older people who make blanket statements about members of my generation being selfish, apolitical twits only out for what we can get and screw the rest of the world,

Maybe if you had done a better job of teaching us about altruism and respect you wouldn't have so much to bitch about. However, we can't help when we were born and many of us grew up with Reagan in office. And who put him there? Was it me? Who wasn't even born in 1980? I guess so. All my fault.

Fuck you all. I am inheriting a worse world than the one you got. Very few of us can afford to buy houses in our twenties, or have kids as young as we'd like to, or work the jobs that truly speak to us. We didn't ask for the crushing national debt we are meant to pay off, we didn't ask you to allow them to dismantle student grants and loans and any program that had the whiff of socialism and social responsibility on it. We are not responsible for the mess, but some of us ARE trying to fix it and how DARE you not at least acknowledge those efforts.

Why don't you take some responsibility for what you allowed to happen to this country? I forgot - it's so much easier to just point fingers at the younger generation, who obviously just spontaneously came into being as selfishly materialistic as you claim we all are. It's not possible at all that we are, generationally, merely reacting to how we were fucking raised.

I repeat - Fuck you all.

Dear patrons of my restaurant,

Please behave yourselves. Really. Your antics have already caused me to give my 3 weeks' notice and throw myself into jobless abyss. Please just be a little decent and human until I pack it in, because, quite frankly, I've got little patience and little to lose at this point. I will snap at you if tested. I will fuck up your order. Intentionally. And feign cluelessness. Just ask those fuckwads from last night.

Oh, and kitchen staff, are you listening to this? Same goes for you. No more Yes, Chef. No, Chef. I'm sorry, Chef. Seriously. I will kick up a shit-storm if provoked. Just kindly leave me be until my last day.

Your favorite disgruntled waitress,
Dr. K-

Seriously, dude, you are the best gyno ever. You take me seriously, you ask so many questions, and you listen so damned attentively. You don't treat me like an idiot! Something about the way you shake my hand at the end of the visit makes me feel so grown-up.

And the female assistant who has to be in the room? The one who pointed out the hole in my super-cool socks and made jokes about her lumpy breasts while you were checking mine? Yeah, give that woman a raise.

If I were a person who was capable of physical contact, and you weren't my gyno, I would totally hug you, Dr. K.

-D, with the awesome IUD
Dear Self,

You really need to find an outlet for all of the anger at the things in the world that make you mad. Hopefully posting this and buying the notebook will be the first steps.

Dr S A,

I was a bit confused about what the 'criteria for maternity' were, but thank you for clearing this up by stating the following:

"she is slim, blonde and in perfect condition, she fits all the criteria for maternity"

Thankfully I do not fit any of that criteria, therefore I am completely justified in my decision to remain child-free.

I'm not sending this because I feel that would invite a response. Besides, we both know you will read it here anyway.
I do not see why it is so difficult for you to understand that I just want to be left alone. You are not a part of my life, by your own choosing, so let go already! I have two words for you- IMPULSE CONTROL!
I don't know if you are doing this out of some misplaced sense of loyalty, or some creepy obcession. Especially the part about the pen. You seem to really get off on the idea that once about a hundred years ago, I went out with you for TWO WEEKS! If you can't let go of something that happened more than half my life ago, you really need professional help.
Don't read my posts, don't respond to my posts. Please pretend I don't exist because you and R do not exist for me anymore. I leave her alone, I post in totally different sections of the other website. I have moved on! That is all you need to know about me.
Frankly, after everything that has happened in the last 6 months, I have lost all respect that I ever had for either of you and I count myself lucky to have escaped being sucked back into all of that. I had the tact to not "out" her on "her" board and then you charged in and did it and proved that I had a valid reason to be cautious. Surely, somewhere in the rules for being a moderator, stalking is frowned upon.
I don't care what your reasons are. You accuse me over and over again of mispercieving the situation. So let me boil this down for you. You are an unwelcome intrusion. You aren't protecting anyone, you aren't helping anyone, you don't care about me, so you have no reason to continue this. A few months ago, Mr. Pixie posted some information on here reguarding online stalking. What you are doing, qualifies. I do not want to get lawyers involved, but this is what prepaid legal is for, right? Just leave me alone.
P.S. Dude, you are NOT Italian!.....and Mr. Pixie is, so stop disrespecting.

dear bilka,

I read that story too! And may I say, whew, what a relief. I don't qualify either!

Dear God,

Here's what I'm going to do. I will move to Pakistan. I will not pursue journalism or writing. I don't know what you want me to do, but I've been praying, having other people pray and none of it is working. Obviously you hate me. You probably shouldn't have kept me alive for so long if you just want to torture me. That really isn't fair. I'm upset that M, wouldn't change my grade. I have been suspended from school. I am moving to a new country in which I only have family, but that will be more than enough. I'm not going to return to school and finish my degree. My worst fears have come true. I will be just like S. I am a fuck-up and a failure. I know that. You don't have to let me see the light. I believed in you. I put my faith in you and you failed me. Or perhaps I failed myself. Perhaps you're just punishing me for having pre-marital sex. I don't know. Maybe you just genuinely hate me. I give up.


Dear S,

I will not tell say goodbye to you. You are not worthy of a goodbye from me. Have a nice life.

Dear so and so,

I am sorry to discover you, in such a sad time of your life. Though you and I haven't spoken in years and both hurt each other in the past. I'm sure we both regret the things we did. We just weren't meant to be. I still think of you from time to time and wish the best for you. You were a very important part of my life.

Perhaps this is just a down period in your life, we all go through those. As talented and smart as you are I hate to see you wasting your life. Try to snap out of it, we only live once, enjoy it. You deserve to be happy, remember that. I hope next time I get word of you the news will be less bleak.


dear you -

why did you take that gift I gave you in January down? that little gift was a true sign of my friendship for you. It really meant something to me and you said it meant something to you. That had nothing to do with anything we tried or anything. Did our friendship mean nothing to you?

I am hurt beyond belief right now. Never did I think that it would turn out this way. Never.

Dear You,
Wow, yet another decision you avoided making and let someone else make it for you. You are such a man. Your (future) wife and kids are so going to love your manly way of dealing with the curve balls life throws your way.

Dear I,

Please, I am begging you. I see everyone getting what they want, and we are still waiting. Please help me out.

Waiting with my patience running out,



2 words



out of sight & clearly out of mind,

freckle, you know, the youngest one?
creepy skeevy neighbor guy that hit on me last year when my mr was in Iraq:


NO, We Don't want to be "neighborly" w/ you & your family & do neighborhood cookouts, and you'd Think that by the way I get up & Leave or blatantly turn my back when you are around you'd get the Hint?!

you're creepy and icky & make my skin crawl and my blood go cold so find that rock you emerged from and go back under it please.
the mr is only tolerant of you bc it's better than ripping your head off. - don't push your luck w/ him either!


Dear G, Why did I have to sleep with you? I know I was horny, but you caught me on a bad day. I had just bombed that interview. I'm just sad that it had to have happen....

dear BUSTY penpal,
are you ok? that last email sounded kind of like you were super stressed and maybe things aren't going so good? i have been waiting on your letter, but nothing's come through the post.
if things are a little funky right now, you don't have to be alone..... just write me (or email me for a quicker fix). maybe the little surprise i sent you will put a smile on your face. it wasn't much but..... maybe.
i'm hoping you read this so you know i miss your letters and i'm thinking positive thoughts for you. things will straighten out soon. think positive, ok?
your BUSTY penpal,
Dear Me,

Wow you really pulled it off, pretty much packing up your whole place by yourself at 37 weeks pregnant, you are amazing!Your going to be a great mom.


Dear Baby,

We get to see each other soon and your far to big to stay in too much longer.Anyways, I hope we have a vbac birth and I'm doing everything I can to make sure that happens.I'll feed you as much as possible this week, even though I don't really have room.I cannot believe that your drinking 8 cups of milk a day!

Look here, ovaries:

We've got a good thing going on. I keep you fetus-free (for the time being) and get you screened for cancer and diseases every year. All I ask in return is that you not attempt to kill me with cramps every month. Well, lately, that has been too much to ask. What the hell? What's with all the clotting and the agonizing pain, so sharp that I can barely walk and lasting for hours?

Seriously, give it up. I mean, I'm still gonna hold up my end of the bargain, but maybe you can try a little harder on yours.

I'd appreciate it.

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