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QUOTE(sybarite @ Dec 18 2011, 03:25 PM) *
Dear you,

This feeling of combined love for you and absolute fury at your unfairness is so familiar to me. When I think of all the times I caved, calling you back after you hung up on me, feeling like a mug but needing to talk us back to being okay. I can't do that anymore. You have had such power over me, my love for you has meant that I would put up with all your uncivil behaviour--the shouting, the abusive swearing and hanging up the phone. That is never and has never, ever been okay.

This is all alongside the shitty, shitty way you handled this recent situation. I have to wonder if being with you is not perhaps really bad for me, that I am with someone who can only see me in terms of my use value to them instead as a whole person. Typing this, I feel such love for you still, but I don't know how healthy that is.

You have to be better. You have to change.

I am someone I can be proud of, I have worked hard, and everyone but you can see this. All you see is my absence. You accuse me of not caring--where the fuck were you when I was low, was scared? Elsewhere. Now you're needy and feel I am neglectful because I am not there mopping your damn brow when you brought this on yourself. I am not in your life to manage your unhappiness. When we got together you were a dynamic, energetic, smart, lively, warm person--I want that person back...


Believe you. Something seem so great. thanks.
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Dear asshole at the park,A community park belongs to the community, not YOU. You must think your shit doesn't stink telling my friend that she didn't belong at the park because you pay for the park. "THIS IS MY PARK," you kept whining. Even our children were getting worried looks on their faces because your idiot self started shouting. Last time I checked that park was as public as could be and anyone could go visit and play with their children. Stop being an ignorant jackass. I guess my Asian friend and my Mexican self didn't belong in YOUR park. Go sit on your thumb and rotate you dickwad.

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dear mum,

i'm sorry that i've hurt you. i didn't mean to. i had to be the one to hold the mirror up because no one else was going to. you dont want to be that person but how can you realize it if you cant see it happening?

i feel tremendous guilt for this need i feel to force you to look at it until it breaks but at the same time i want it to stop. when you pass i dont want my memories to be that you were the kindest person to the world but abusive to your husband. i want them to be that you were the kindest person in the world and that your fears of being wrong or being pushed around or whatever the issue is made you lash out instead of looking at the problem. but when your realized what you were doing you fixed it and by the end you were the kindest to the world including dad.

if there was a camera and you were able to see the horrible things you say you'd be shocked and ashamed. its quite disturbing to hear, especially because i've been a victim of emotional abuse. the thing is you're not trying to hurt him. you're trying to not be hurt.

i sincerely hope that realizing it helps you address it and that you forgive me,

QUOTE(charlie31 @ Feb 17 2013, 09:11 PM) *
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