Jun 7 2010, 11:05 AM
Dear You -
I still fucking cry about the fact that you have dropped off every kind of communication we used to have. Just so you know. I feel like I've been dumped and am being ignored, when nothing has ever happened between us. The fact that we have been good friends for a couple years seems to have meant nothing to you. My friends aren't disposable to me. I'm sorry to find out that apparently I am to you, or at least it feels like it. I don't want to believe it, I know you're better than that, but maybe you aren't. I thought I knew you better than that. you know, it hurts worse to have a good friend go inexplicably sideways on you in a shitty fucking way than any dumping. Oh, and about your calls at 6 am when you're drunk and haven't found anyone to go home with? I'm not your fucking consolation prize. If you can't call me when you're sober and be my friend, you don't get me when you're drunk and have no one else.
I fucking hate you right now. Of course, hate is the flip side of love, so you suck even more.
Dear emoboy -
you are so young, but goddammit you could be some good medicine for the ego.
Jun 8 2010, 01:56 AM
(((((((Zoya)))))))Man, that sucks.
Jun 8 2010, 05:38 PM
please, send help. please.
Jun 10 2010, 08:18 AM
wow, to see the judges face when we got a court date for as early as late june illustrates to me how you really pulled that one out of you're bra. thank you so much.
so much love,
Jun 10 2010, 12:53 PM
I love when that shit happens!
waiting for my turn....
Jun 11 2010, 02:27 PM
it is great zoya, keep waiting, it'll come. <3
Jun 14 2010, 03:55 PM
Be calm, take breaths, and relax about what is happening. He is good and honest and sincere. And this could all be so good. But be calm. And relax. Baby steps, go slow.
Jun 19 2010, 09:45 PM
I was thinking this was it. That you would prove them all wrong. Guess not.
Jun 24 2010, 01:53 AM
waaaa! i feel like doodie! i'm sick and it's stressing me out! i've already missed a day and a half of work this week and paid for a trip to the dr's. when do i get a real job with sick time & insurance? i feel profoundly guilty for being on antibiotics right now but powerless to try another course of action. i HAVE to get back to work asap.
i'm kinda glad i haven't heard from the looser i've been dating over the last 2 days. not checking in on me when i'm sick is really a good reason to drop things immediately. i feel grateful for being handed such a big red flag so early.
why are all of my friends breaking/loosing their phones when i really need to talk to them.
please send good things. maybe i'm naive, but i still think i would be a million-billion times happier if i just had a job that paid me enough to live.
oh man. why are the birds chirping? i should get to sleep.
Jun 24 2010, 07:25 AM
this is it, well monday is it. showtime. i'm workin' my ass off and if there's anything i've missed please give me a lil sign.
if you have anymore of that magic you pulled at the last court date i will be very grateful to receive it. your help has been getting me through this from the start and oh, i hope this is the end.
i know you'll be beside me as i walk into that room,
Jun 25 2010, 12:23 AM
Whatever. You didn't really show much potential as a friend anyway. I don't really care whether you flake out or stick around, but I won't chase you, and I won't ask for an explanation. Just please don't make a scene in my life. You're so not worth it.
Jun 25 2010, 11:22 PM
(((archegonia))) I'll be sending you strength vibes for Monday!
(((mumblestutter))) Sending you job vibes!
Jun 26 2010, 06:22 PM
you dont remember the song i wrote you? you dont? you dont remember living on the tip of the blueberry dream? you dont remember reading it? talking about it? telling me you loved it? DOESNT THAT SCARE YOU?
so i'm here with post traumatic stress symptoms because i cant forget the things you said and the way you treated me and you think you're the victim because you dont fucking remember? THATS NOT FAIR!!!
i'm very confident about my case on monday. i'm also prepared deal with losing. the thing i dread the most after the fear of losing my freedom is actually winning and having to watch you lose. even after what you've done. even if you dont remember.
fuck you for texting me instead of her 'by accident today'.
Jun 26 2010, 06:24 PM
i know, i know.. he reminds me all the time about why i shouldnt feel sorry for him. i'll focus more on a positive outcome for my children and i.
thank you for today, it was magical in those woods.
with great love and faith,
Jun 28 2010, 03:10 PM
thanks for your support and kindness. for those who've been following my drama: today went well, the judge will give our verdict on friday.
Jun 28 2010, 07:18 PM
(((Archegonia))) Good to hear today went well for you. I will continue to send you vibes for the verdict on Friday.
*~*~*strength vibes for Archegonia*~*~*
Jun 28 2010, 07:55 PM
What Star said.
Sending May Justice Be Served vibes along, too.
Jun 29 2010, 05:31 AM
(((Archegonia))) Glad to hear Monday went well and echoing Anarch's sending of justice vibes for you and yours.
Jun 30 2010, 12:41 AM
I've only known you a little over a year, but I really do consider you one of my best friends. We both marvel over the fact that we even found each other, and how close we've become so quickly. Seemingly, we have lots in common: very liberal, committed to anti-racist and anti-sexist causes, and bibliophilic. I knew that your fiance was politically and socially conservative, but I was naive enough to think the motherfucker had some redeeming qualities. So, initially I was elated when you got married to this bloke a few weeks back because in spite of his faults, he appeared to be level-headed, supportive and just generally enamored of you. So, imagine my surprise when you told me that he holds some really disturbing views about racial minorities, especially black folks. Well, all minorities except for Indians, which works well for you since your father is Indian. The fact that you even accept this caveat smacks of self-loathing, but that's another letter. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this? Fuck your husband, he can kick rocks. But I'm surprised at you SL. I really fucking am. How do you think it makes me feel to knowing that you decided to spend the rest of your days with a racist? Really? Really? How COULD YOU? After I opened up to you and shared with you tearfully about the myriad ways that racist ass folks have run roughshod over my best laid plans? I thought you were better than this. I really don't know where to go from here. As much as I love you, I'm not sure I can abide this.
Jul 2 2010, 05:40 PM
I'M FREE!! joint custody with me as primary caregiver and i'm not restricted to stay here!! exactly what i asked for. justice was served. thanks for being here and sending those scrumtrelescent vibes!!
love, relief and finally some peace,
sigh, thank you.
love at its most pure,
Jul 2 2010, 06:22 PM
Hurrah archegonia! I actually haven't been following and did not know anything, but I am happy for you!!!
Please love yourself. You need to above else. If this job is truly what is causing the sleeplessness, it is time to look for another. And while we're at it, a new apartment that isn't costing a fortune.
Jul 2 2010, 07:22 PM
Fuck yeah, Archegonia!! You should post this great news in the accomplishment thread. Just sayin'.
Jul 4 2010, 01:22 PM
(((((((Nappysco))))))))I don't know what to say, but that is awful.
W00t Archegonia! That is fantastic!!
Jul 7 2010, 07:28 PM
QUOTE(futura @ Jul 4 2010, 01:22 PM)
(((((((Nappysco))))))))I don't know what to say, but that is awful.
W00t Archegonia! That is fantastic!!
Thanks futura. :-) and another yay!!! for Archegonia.
Jul 8 2010, 03:21 AM
1) Drunkenly scoring with three ladies in three months does not make you the sex god of the apartment. I might only have the one boyfriend, but I have a LOT more sex than you. Stop expecting me to be envious of your 'wild' single life.
2) I'm glad that you had an enjoyable 4-hour sexathon the other night, but... did you ever consider that if it's taking you 4 hours, maybe you're not doing it right? I'm just saying, perhaps you should consider being a bit more efficient.
That is all!
Jul 21 2010, 02:38 PM
Yes, you were being rude. Taking a condescending tone with a customer, especially when she hasn't even been rude to YOU, is just shitty. Bite my ass. And get your information straight.
The Customer Who Was Not Rude to You
Jul 22 2010, 01:14 AM
No, I'm not telling if he they intend to get married. He asked me to keep a secret. I'm keeping this a secret and no amount of pestering will get me to give it up.
Jul 22 2010, 09:58 PM
Jul 31 2010, 06:15 PM
I just put some creepy-ass Italian hand painted clowns in my guest room. You should come visit them.
Aug 3 2010, 02:13 PM
WTF is wrong with you? We have been friendly for how long? Three, four years? I have never been anything other than straight up with you in regards to our association: I do NOT want any relationship with you other than the one we have. I have told you this NUMEROUS times. Since the very beginning I told you that you would get nothing more from me than I was willing to give. And yet for some reason you got it into your head that if you just passive-aggressively kept badgering & trying to manipulate/guilt me into it, you would succeed. NOT.
I HAVE A MAN. YOU KNOW THIS. I. DO. NOT. WANT. YOU! I NEVER LED YOU ON. NOT ONCE DID I MAKE YOU THINK I WAS INCLINED TO DATE YOU. I NEVER EVEN FLIRTED WITH YOU LIKE I DO EVERYBODY ELSE. YOU KNEW YOU DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE & YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT/RESENTMENT/FRUSTRATION ARE ALL ON YOU.
It irks me to no end that you will not own your part in this. I am tired of you trying to take it out on me when I did nothing wrong. I brushed off your advances in no uncertain terms, "No, I do not want to take this relationship to the next level because there is no next level. This is it."
"But I'm a nice guy!" No, no you are NOT. Nice guys do not try to force themselves onto women that are clearly not fucking into them & have verbalised it to their face. So sod off, wanker!
Aug 10 2010, 11:15 AM
(damn AP, another one bites the dust. some people just cant see outside themselves)
I need a little bit of your lovin'. Raising these babies by myself is really hard and i'm afraid i'm not doing a good job. please send me a little bit of guidance that i can use to pick up the pieces scattered by this transition.
A fulfilling job that supports my children and i, allowing me to be progressive and help the earth, would be great. as soon as possible, please.
Aug 10 2010, 07:25 PM
Archegonia, you know you can always come here for an ear, right? We've got your back if you need us. (((((Archegonia)))))
And yeah, some people just don't get it even when you spell it out for them.
I saw what you did there. Not amused. You know I'm smarter than to fall for that. That's P/A 101 shit.
Sep 18 2010, 01:53 PM
He's playing you. I don't even think that he consciously knows he's playing you, but you're getting played. He's a good guy deep down, but he's young. He's a hottie with a great personality, a good job, and a huge penis that he knows how to use expertly. Plus he knows that the world is his oyster and he wants to leap headfirst into the adventure. He's merely following the urge to sample every experience that he can, and he should. I have no doubt he likes you, but clearly you want more. After you get a few years under your belt, you start to be clearer about what you need, and you stop putting up with people who can't deliver those things - because no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you talk to them, no matter how long you stick around, they're not going to change unless they want to. And I don't think he wants to. You don't feel right about what he's doing right now, and you shouldn't. Any guy who wanted to just be with you would not do that, even if there is nothing going on. They just wouldn't. You know that book "He's Just Not That Into You" ? What that book has to say about his actions is completely applicable here. Don't put up with what makes you feel like shit, because the payoff is never going to be worth it. At the very least you'll always be suspicious, and do you really want to live your life looking over his shoulder and feeling like shit about the situation and yourself? You should never have to prove anything about yourself to anyone. Find someone who you don't have to prove anything to. He's not that guy.
just thought I'd let you know.
Sep 23 2010, 09:15 AM
Dear Zoya -
read the letter below and apply it to yourself.
it fucking sucks. it fucking hurts. but it's fucking true. Get it through your head.
QUOTE(zoya @ Nov 14 2009, 07:15 AM)
get ready for a letter full of good 'ol sayings (cause they're true!!)
I say, if you haven't already sent it, don't send it. Just leave it be and jettison her, and the situation from your life.
remember what "they" say: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Sounds like you have tried more than once - in the past and now - to get her to understand. But she is telling you by her actions that she doesn't. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink - and sounds like you will never make her drink from your cup. And why should you? She's not your responsibility. Your happiness is your responsibility, and that's it.
I think the universe shows us everything we need to know, we just need to be willing to see or do what it's putting in front of our face. Cut the crazymakers out of your life. It's a bummer (and scary) to leave the past behind, but you don't need to be the crazy one here.
I'm gonna get all philosophical (literally!) on you here: in the words of the Greek philosopher Epictetus:
"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."
and just for good measure, I'll throw in another of his quotes (damn, I love Epictetus!!)
"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."
Don't get sucked in to your past and your anger. Move forward. Let shit go for good - and sometimes that means letting people go without making a big fanfare of it.. just quietly move forward into what you know is right for you, and people be damned if they think you're crazy for it.
love you like Linus loves his blankie....
Sep 23 2010, 03:56 PM
hmmm sounds strangely familiar....
Sep 23 2010, 04:44 PM
yep, amazing how sometimes we need to look back at our own advice and take it.
Sep 25 2010, 07:19 AM
(((Zoya))) Hope you're doing okay.
Oct 3 2010, 09:33 AM
please send some used drums our way and link us with a kid friendly drum circle.
Oct 5 2010, 08:51 AM
I hope you'll feel better soon. You're awesome. Thanks for posting this because this is something i can apply to my life too. I'm glad i read it just now.
Oct 6 2010, 02:55 PM
Dear universe, can you please fix it so that I won't have to deal with the prospect of MIL getting foreclosed on and then her expecting to move into our house? My guts clench at the idea of having to share living space with her ever again. Cat pee odors from her clothes contaminating my laundry machines and my clothes, my health going into the fucking toilet again when it took so fucking long to recover from the last time. I doubt the marriage would survive.
"Oh," said my spouse breezily a year and a half ago, "She would make sure she didn't import any [insert parasite here] to our place." Fuck that. Her lack of self-care has had all the chances it will ever have to fuck me up. I am NEVER trusting reassurances from you or her that "Oh it's fine now, we haven't had any fleas or boils for years." You can't reasonably expect me to trust her well-meaning, crazymakingly contradictory assertions. The Trusting Her Reassurances ship has fucking sailed and it's never coming back.
Well look if it becomes a question of her living on the street or with us, of course I don't want her on the street, but God dammit anywhere she lives is never going to be a safe space for me.
Oct 15 2010, 02:57 PM
WTF. You're definitely adopting a sixth cat because she's so cute, and maybe a seventh one if it tugs at your heart strings too, even though you're having trouble making mortgage payments. Because you want to "get some enjoyment out of life." Look, if it was strictly your business, I wouldn't give a shit. But it's going to become my business when we have to take you in because it's house you or let you go on the street, because you got foreclosed on, because you're frittering your money away on acquiring more pets, maintenance for a pool you don't even use, gardening service, fixing your expensive status cars that keep breaking down, designer clothes, eating out, and on and on.
Dear universe, thanks for a spouse who has come around to the idea that "we're a unit." You do realize that that's not going help much with having in-laws living here with their casual attitude toward assorted parasites, clutter acquisition problem, spending problem, etc.
Oct 15 2010, 04:19 PM
I remember all the trials & illness you went through with your ILs. I can't say or do much to fix it, but I'm always willing to listen if you need an ear or a shoulder. Busties got your back, yo.
Oct 16 2010, 06:46 PM
(((aural))), thanks. God. Your note helps, a LOT.
Oct 19 2010, 11:37 AM
No problem, chica. You are often the calm, diplomatic yin to my fiery, sledgehammer to the cerebral cortex yang. 's a good thing that you keep me on my toes.
Dear Angry New Jersey Man,
Thank you for adding more shit to my already craptastic morning. Seriously.
Perhaps you are unaware of this, but I have been at this for more than ten years & there is a REASON I am in HIGH DEMAND. I view 100% of what comes into my inbox & I quickly cut the wheat from the chaff. In short, I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING.
I paid close attention to your proposal & viewed it with a VERY experienced critical eye. I know with whom I can work & whom I cannot. And you? Fell into the latter category. Hence, I politely declined to work with you, as is my right. I even sincerely bid you much luck in your future endeavors.
I do not understand why you thought your increasingly abusive BS might get you somewhere, especially when I refused to play your game with you & requested that you cease contact or face the consequences.
I do not know what happened to you in your life to make you so angry with women, but I can assure you that it renders you completely repugnant on every level. You made many gross assertions about me, my motives & what I do simply because I am female & I rejected you. I am an adult, I own my home/automobile & I make my own money. I am not an "asshole" or a "hick", I am not lacking in "street smarts". I am simply good at what I do & I saw nothing to be gained by either of us in building a relationship with you. PERIOD. There was no malice, unlike your angry diatribes.
I guess what I am trying to say is: Fuck you & your bridge & tunnel ass right in the goddamned ear, you piece of NJ shit. I hope Snooki takes a big dump in your cereal bowl for breakfast tomorrow!
Oct 27 2010, 03:46 PM
Dear Everyone Who Thinks it it Their Business,
Yes, I have a large amount of financial aid debt. It is mine, I choose it in order to find a career I love, I admit that I've struggled to pay it back but it is still all my choice. Please do not feel free to comment on it. It isn't your problem and your comments just stress me out!
Oct 28 2010, 04:05 AM
Kittenb, who does that? I would never, never comment on anyone's financial situation unless expressly asked for advice. Also, given that increasingly more people are in serious financial difficulty they might want to STFU and feel grateful they are financially viable... and if they're not they have doubly less business giving anyone else shit.
Also AP 'fuck your bridge and tunnel ass ...' right up to your detailed descriptions of Snooki's contribution to dude's breakfast made me laugh.
(((everyone being given shit by arseholes)))
Oct 29 2010, 10:12 PM
aural? i lubb you.
Nov 1 2010, 08:20 PM
My facebook status updates are not primarily platforms for you to blurt your vacuous, misspelled, poorly-punctuated thoughts on everything. Please stop; it's embarrassing.
Your selfish daughter-in-law.
Nov 2 2010, 07:38 PM
On what planet is giving someone a brick considered a way of showing your appreciation? A fucking brick? Are you kidding me? I'm sure you think it's cute and funny and it's the sentiment and shit but frankly it's insulting and you are a fucking moron. Oh and I'm gonna go over your heads to get an actual promotion because if you appreciate the work I do then you can show your appreciation for with MORE MONEY! Fuck you and your stupid brick!
Nov 9 2010, 08:07 AM
You are such a typical nerd....trying to insert yourself in every aspect of someone's convo just so you can hear yourself talk....so everyone can hear you talk. You have to show that you are in control of everything. How very conformed of you.
Don't fall climbing that proverbial ladder
You have to have the latest gadgets so everyone things you are "in the know"
Your ego is like that of the men you are trying to be liked by.
I'm in business, I am very professionl sounding....like a robot
Have fun being like everyone else. Being like what society deems you to be....
Don't you dare think outside the box........