Feb 23 2010, 07:18 AM
Dear Anna K,
Thank you for always being so sweet and always having something nice to say, it means a lot.
I agree with everyone else here, fuck him! You are gorgeous, I just know it, congrats on all your hard work!
Feb 26 2010, 05:56 AM
YOu have a great deal of nerve. If you need to get a second part time job to take care of your responsibilities than fucking do it. Man the fuck up. don't go running to your in-laws when you can't handle your shit. If you bothered to ask we would write a check directly to whom it needs to go. because it is for F. also you are a liar. well documented at that so why should they believe you? Get your own mommy and daddy to bail your sorry ass out.
Feb 26 2010, 01:54 PM
There is something about you and I can't put my finger on it. I think you are a liar, though. In this case, there is something else and I just don't know what it is. I don't like it one bit.
Feb 26 2010, 04:50 PM
dear super intense full body workout class designed to make one's muscles fail:
I love you.
Patience, woman!! Meanwhile, get some work done.
Feb 26 2010, 11:21 PM
Please stop kicking my ass. i need to sleep. can't go on like this forever.
Feb 27 2010, 02:29 AM
i forgot how to do that.
those turns from top to bottom, butch to femme in those tiny, graceful degrees.
and i'm not sure i ever knew how do that ambidextrous, androgynous thing you do:
batting your eyes at me, drawing out those old reflexive acts of chivalry
simultaneously, breathlessly making me feel like a woman.
i don't know what to make of you. fish and foul, heads and tales, back to front
and front to back. you scramble my signals, jam them, then code and decode them,
i am confused, and clarified my essence abstracted, condensed.
but i don't know if i'm ready, or if i want this. you remind me
of what i was, and who i am now.
you measure the distance and make it fade.
Feb 27 2010, 10:15 AM
D- You need to move. It's been over a week. You have one possible place to move to, and it's not looking good. Find a back up. Get packing. And get out. I cannot live like this with you in the house indefinitely. You have til next weekend. Get your ass moving.
Mar 3 2010, 06:05 PM
I trust you.
Mar 5 2010, 12:54 PM
I have a crush on you, I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm pulling back. I don't even know if I can talk to you anymore.
You are wonderful, which is exactly why I'm worried.
Mar 7 2010, 05:59 AM
Stupid guy who sent mixed signals to bff
You are stupid. Everything m told me about you and what went on between the two of you conversation-wise led me to think you liked her. She was right not to contact you. She was right not to think too much about you, to have a good time regardless. She is awesome and you should've told her right off the bat that you have a gf. Not kissing her on the mouth, not all kinds of intimacies. She was seriously crushing on you. I've had it with guys who, in the relative safety of a relationship, try to half-court a woman. So she 'made you think'. So what?? Ofcourse she made you think, she's strong and absolutely fantastic, but she deserves a good man, not some wimp who thinks it's ok to be a tease, to use another person for some self enlightenment. You suck. You sent her mails and you were deliberately vague, not giving her anything she could work with, giving her some kind of sign. I never met you, and i hop i never will. Asshat.
So that's it eh? I was decent enough to send you an invitation, and you don't even let me know you're not coming? I hear nothing? I'm glad that we never hung out again after that night in january, because if this is how you treat your so called 'best friends' i'd rather not know you. What you did to me last year was awful, my friends hate you, and i totally understand you didn't feel like being here last night, among those friends. But come on, take some responsibility.
A short mail would've been good to just keep things relatively ok. I talked with my friends about it and i still get worked up over the 2009 drama, so i think it's best we never meet again. You are an enormous wuss, not willing to refer to, joke abut us, not willing to acknowledge that giant elephant in the room. You have few friends. Cherish them, for they might slip away some day. In some twisted way i feel for you, because you must be very lonely, not working on your issues, keeping up prestenses of 'relationships'. When you get hurt as bad as you hurt me, think. You reap what you sow.
Mar 10 2010, 01:34 PM
A year ago, you were in a terrible relationship. You wanted out, but you were scared to rock the boat, and you didn’t trust your own judgement. Eventually, you got out. Not how you wanted, but you got out. You killed two birds with one stone – got rid of a shitty girlfriend and a shitty friend all in one. It’s hard to get over the betrayal, I know. But don’t ever let that overshadow the fact that things are better now. What happened before doesn’t matter anymore. Keep your eyes on what’s in front of you, not behind you.
You’re in a good place now. You’re ok. A year ago, a good day was when you weren’t blindsided by another stupid fight. For weeks after the breakup, a good day was when you managed to eat something. It was months before you could go a day without crying. Now? A bad day is when you’re relaxing in a café, having some time to yourself, and they play a song by Amos Lee. A bad day is when you’re at work and you see one of your ex's friends who she hasn’t seen or likely even spoken to in months. A bad day is when you torture yourself over some little trigger. You know that you have control over this. You can’t change the past, but you can change how it affects you. Cowboy up.
You have a lot of things to be happy about. Almost everything in your life has improved. You spend your free time doing things you want to do, watching the movies you want to see, listening to the music you want to listen to, keeping the hours you want to keep, eating what you want to eat, cleaning up nobody’s messes but yours. School is new and exciting and seems to be going fine. You have new social, economic, and academic resources you’d never even thought of before. Your apartment is only slightly more unaffordable than the smaller, dirtier, uglier, less convenient, more crowded ones your friends live in. You’re new and improved, yourself – you know you’re a hell of a lot healthier and more attractive than you were a year ago. Getting dressed in the morning is a lot more fun than it used to be. You’ve gotten rid of a lot of old baggage – clothes, hair, people, 20 pounds of excess weight. You’ve stepped up and done something that really scared you – cutting out of your life the “friends” who made you unhappy. You have a better sense of who you are and what you want than you used to. The things that still suck, like your job, are just further improvements to look forward to. The only things holding you back are fear and resentment, just like fear and lack of faith in yourself held you back before.
Life is good now. Enjoy it. Stop looking for things to feel bad about.
Mar 10 2010, 08:41 PM
I hope I'm not really the only one there who seems to be up with what you're giving us. But if I am, you're a sweetheart for voicing your thoughts. I didn't really know how to reply, so I hope you didn't think me smug or unappreciative. I often come across that way despite my efforts not to.
You rock, I wish I could have had more to do with you prior,
Mar 12 2010, 04:32 AM
Dear Universe -
thank you once again for making things abundantly clear. I know from prior experience in life that I can trust that it's probably a good thing overall, but can you just cut me a fucking break once in awhile? Sometime? Preferably soon? Wtf am I supposed to be learning, really?
Mar 16 2010, 06:51 PM
Dear Whore of an Exgirlfriend of my now ex,
He told me about your daughter, and her surgery. I feel bad. And I hope she is ok. I also hope that she and your other 2 kids are able to find a good role model in their life, because you- you are a terrible person. And I've never met you and I hope to God I don't ever meet you.
You have continued to talk to him the entire year he was with me. You continued to send him messages and pictures of yourself- naked and provacative pictures that you sent him, knowing full well he was involved and living with me. And while he continued to communicate back with you, and I am livid with him- you are a worse person because instead of accepting that situation and supporting another woman by leaving her boyfriend alone, you kept it up. This in my eyes makes you a bit of a whore. And a bad person to undermine the relationship he was in.
Thanks for fucking up my life.
He was an asshole and that's why I'm not with him anymore, but your assistance in that situation- completely unnecessary. And just made me feel worthless.
Mar 22 2010, 12:35 AM
Dear Man-Boy from New Brunswick,
Well, now you've gone and lost the most loyal friend you probably ever had. It's sad, really. Soulman hung on a long time, thinking he could help you when you were finally ready to quit drinking. But you aren't going to quit, are you? You're like the fucking Tasmanian devil, you're living in such chaos. It's like you're whirling around fast-as-can, on top of any movement you make, just flinging everything and everyone out of your path.
I don't know, but I have a suspicion you're sitting there blaming me for the break-up. And that's fine. I don't mind being your scapegoat. In truth, I probably WAS the cause of your loss, but not for the reasons you think. I never said one word to him. I didn't ask him once to give up his friendship with you. I never said you were a bad influence on him. I never asked him to spend less time with you or more time with me. I never demanded anything from him regarding your friendship. What I told him, truthfully, was that you didn't like me, and I didn't like you, which is painfully obvious to just about everyone, and that it's best if I'm not around when you are....and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way about me. So really, my responsibility, if there is any, lies in being exactly who I am when Soulman makes his choices about who he does and doesn't want to spend time with. As does your responsibility.
But the truth is, yeah, I'm being VERY supportive of Soulman right now. He is really shocked by the fight you had, and by the pettiness you've shown. He's finally opened his eyes to the fact that you are a con artist, plain and simple, and those are his words, not mine. So. He's stressed out. He's hurting. He's such an amazing man, just managing to overcome his own bitterness every time it comes out of his mouth. You don't deserve a friend like him. And I'm telling him so. Because I really don't want to see you trying to worm your way back into his life, taking advantage of his inability to say no. I did nothing to influence him before you two fought, but I am working very hard to influence him now.
You want my advice? No, I don't suppose you do. But here it is: sober up. You have 2 daughters. You have already lost nearly every last one of your friends. You've lost the man who's been your kindest friend for 20 years. And one day your daughters are going to up and tell you to get the fuck out of their lives. I know, because I once had a dad like you, and I did the same thing, and even though I'm a pretty forgiving and easy-going person, it took him being a year sober before I'd even believe he'd changed. So you'd better wise up, dumbass, or you are going to lose those girls, too. And then what will you have? Nothing. You will have nothing.
Mar 30 2010, 08:32 PM
dear you -
well, I dunno. I just don't.
I'm not proud of some of the way I acted, but at the same time, some of it was warranted. I tried my best to be cool and supportive when I said something. I wasn't being judgmental or slamming who you are, I was just confused by and upset at your actions, and I tried to get that all across when I told you so. Somehow it seems that you didn't hear it that way or something.. I don't know.
I feel like things have irrevocably changed, practically overnight, and I'm bummed and I miss you and your friendship. I value that friendship so much and like that you accept me just as I am. I feel the same way about you, it's always been easy to like you for who just you are - I don't think you believe that now, but it hasn't changed.
I think it can be sorted, I hope it can be sorted, but I don't know what to do other than to just give it time. That scares me, but I don't know what else to do, and anything else seems to just run the risk of making things worse.
I miss you.
Mar 30 2010, 09:47 PM
I know this is what I need to say when we start counseling, but I need to get this out or I'll never make it back to work this week.
I need you to recognize that I am sacrificing something pretty big by being with you. I need you to give me some serious support and love about this decision or I'm not going to be able to make it. I want to do it because I believe that we will have a future that will be just as amazing as it would be without a baby. I need to know what that future looks like in your head.
I am also scared that I am only willing to make this decision because I wouldn't make it through the break up, or because I fear I'll never find the right person or situation to actually have a baby, and then I'll not have you or a baby, and it'll all be a wasted mess.
Apr 14 2010, 10:18 PM
I'm seriously considering breaking off our friendship because of your weirdo mind games. Why would you tell people we're dating when we're not? You know I've been smitten with you since we met, so it's not even like we COULDN'T be legitimately dating. None of my friends or family can figure you out. Oh, and if you're really not dating me only because of my age, well, then I don't even want to be with someone that stupid. I'm not going to wait SIX YEARS until I am at the age you will find acceptable to date. I may be young, but I've got my shit together and you know it. Your loss.
Apr 16 2010, 02:28 PM
Stop being so hard on yourself. So you got way drunk and snogged some guy you didn't care one iota for. Well, that's too bad. But can't you move on? Past that? Considering all that has happened this past month, this is the backlash. Stress, worries if Dad's going to make it. He's going to make it. But partying late and throwing alcohol into the mix isn't a great idea in this kind of situation and you know it. So think next time and move on.
And come on, this is the first time in your life you've done such a thing. You hung with people who did way, way worse and you don't judge them as harshly as you do yourself.
So you're not perfect. You're human. Stop this miserable judging of yourself and move on. MOVE ON.
Apr 16 2010, 06:52 PM
I needed a friend last night. I needed that friend who told me "you can call me any time if you need to talk" and i did, but you were busy with something else. Apparently so busy that you can't even check in with me today to see if everything is ok. I was there for you not so long ago when you were going through a very difficult time, I was available any time for you. I have let you come over at 3 am, drunk, and listened while you got everything off your chest. I have supported you in what you were going through, and never judged you in any way - quite the opposite, I have always accepted you for just who you are, no matter what that's meant. It's not been hard. In the past, you've let me cry on your shoulder, you've listened to me, you've been there for me. But now, for whatever reason, you have become so myopic in your need to erase any gossip surrounding you, including what people may think about our friendship, that you seem to have lost sight of the friend you have in me. I don't think you're even aware of what your almost obsessive need to prove that we are nothing more than friends is doing to our friendship, and how deeply I hurt. I feel completely unappreciated and even more so, taken advantage of. This has nothing to do with any romantic level of feeling, this is deep, to the core of our friendship, gut level, hurt.
That myopia has now extended to you not being there when I really really really needed that friend who said I could call at any time, that friend who I feel safe crying my guts out to - and it's extended as far as you not even taking 5 seconds to check in with me today to see if everything was ok. You have stopped looking outside yourself and your "needs," and seeing me - the person who has been there for you, unconditionally. This is not someone who I've ever known in the years I've known you. You are so much better than this.
I am not saying this to attack you, I am not saying this implying you're a bad person, I am not saying there is anything wrong with who you are. I am telling you this because I care immensely about you, and when you care about a friend, you want to allow them to understand you better. Especially if it involves something that they've done that they may not even be aware has affected you. No secrets.
I am so deeply, deeply hurt. Please remember that I am human and I am here too. Please remember what our friendship was about.
I miss my friend.
Apr 16 2010, 07:06 PM
((((zoya)))) I have been there. I cry for you...I know how it hurts and I wish I could be there to hug you in person.
Apr 17 2010, 05:48 AM
Apr 17 2010, 04:29 PM
Dear hot friendly art-school guy that I met at a grocery store in Saskatchewan:
We spoke once six months ago, never even got each other's names, and likely will never see each other again. Why can't I get you out of my head? Stop it!
Apr 18 2010, 10:25 AM
Apr 19 2010, 03:24 PM
Fuck you cordially.
Apr 19 2010, 07:11 PM
I don't have a letter today. Just noticed your two letters, sending support.
Apr 20 2010, 01:27 PM
Yeah, I totally saw how you IGNORED me. TWICE. Yet you were so quick to acknowledge someone else when she wanted to ask you a question.
I liked you so much before. Now I like you considerably less.
Apr 26 2010, 07:45 AM
Dear stupid bitch who didn't look where she was going,
You know, next time you walk into someone carrying hot liquid, perhaps think towards saying, I don't know, maybe 'excuse me'? When I yelped 'ow' that was an indication I was in some discomfort; showing concern may have been appropriate at that point. Clearly, however, you had some unapologetic oblivious wandering down the corridor to do instead.
I hope you flunk out of uni you clueless cow. Also, straightened hair is completely 2007. Idiot.
Apr 26 2010, 06:51 PM
Passive aggressive much?
Apr 26 2010, 07:34 PM
If you had put forth some goddamned effort in precal you could be graduating magna cum laude instead of just cum laude. Dunderhead. DO BETTER IN GRAD SCHOOL!
Apr 27 2010, 05:49 PM
Dear Love Goddess,
I don't like how you operate. I go for about 3-4 years without any romance, and all of a sudden you throw 2 candidates at me at the same time. Knock that crap off.
Apr 30 2010, 05:43 PM
You're adorable, and I adore you
May 1 2010, 10:26 PM
I know I'm a Daiboo but I'd like to have some one to talk about juju with. Please convince Dru to call.
May 5 2010, 09:23 AM
you piece of shit,
you destroyed my life and now you're destroying my chance to rebuild. i loved you too much. i should have sent you packing the day he fell off the chair. i should have never let anyone treat me that way.
i pure poison, venomously fucking hate you.
May 6 2010, 08:58 PM
I truly liked you, I was thrilled you were marrying my cousin. I loved hanging out and your spirit and happiness and wisdom. And then I moved, and you were planning a wedding, and then got married and got pregnant. And you have been incredibly unpleasant and miserable and downright bitchy ever since. And I don't know if I did something wrong or if you just were hiding the true you- I hope it's the former and we can somehow move beyond whatever it is. Because if it is the latter, I don't see how what is left of my cousin's family will survive years of this.
And don't you dare be like this to his g'ma. She is a saint. And I don't get mad much nor am I in any way the throw-down sort of girl- but I will completely kick your ass if you are like this to g'ma.
Please stop. I understand the stresses of wedding planning and being pregnant and the discomfort- but Get. Over. Your. Self. Pleaae for the love of God calm down and stop being a bitch for no reason.
May 7 2010, 02:11 PM
May 9 2010, 03:56 PM
Dear __ -
I'd like it if you'd please stop texting me. You're putting me in a bit of a position here, cause I don't feel that I can be a dick and just not answer (the main reason being you are __'s good friend) but I'm really not feeling comfortable about it, for a myriad of reasons. I realize it's all just friendly and we have tons of mutual friends and we do the same work, but I've learned to listen to my gut, and my gut is feeling a little weird about it. The easiest way out of this would just be if you just stopped. So yeah.
May 10 2010, 10:13 AM
((((rouge)))) right back atcha....
May 10 2010, 12:04 PM
you knew for ages that i planned to leave this hole. you watched the kids as i moved and you saw the movers taking my things (including your children's beds) and heading out of province. i dont blame you for being afraid of your kids leaving but it was understood that you would be behind us a month later and every time you held your precious potential court order over my head i said hurry up and do it if your going to. you waited until i had no home, no possessions, no job, no child care to put in the emergency court order to keep us here. for that you are nothing but a scrotum.
now it is one day before the mini pre court hearing and you call to tell me that if i get my lawyer to write up and agreement (which i've been telling you for over a month, i have for you) that you'll sign it and i can leave on my planned date.
i see that you're plan all along has been to keep me unbalanced, maybe so you're not alone in your state of unbalance. but you know what? i lived thru your harassment. i went to work everyday. i graduated university. i got my kids ready and fed and taken good and lovingly care of everyday. i breast feed and read and feed them well balanced diets. i didnt have a nervous breakdown when you did and they both had pneumonia and i had end of term assignments. i did it all without the support of my family because they're too far away. (altho the phone love and surprise cheques got me thru a helluva lot) i'm still standing and i dont have any sympathy for you anymore.
you're actions will barry you and i'll dance on your grave, moonclad and regretless.
May 14 2010, 03:56 PM
Please do not act from a place of fear and insecurity with me. Do not compete with me 'cause there is no competition. We are in 2 different places professionally. When you act from a place of fear and insecurity, your behaviors become terribly annoying to me. You act out by interrupting my supervision sessions by talking very loudly on the phone, and intruding most of my conversations with my clients and/or fellow colleagues. Please accept your place and center yourself in your professional development. We only have a couple of months together. The more you act like a patsy, the more you become Palin-esque to me. Your insecurity and need for attention is very unattractive.
May 14 2010, 06:23 PM
thanks for giving me the time to heal. Go distribute them healing vibes and times to Busties and other awesome people now, would you? Thanks.
May 15 2010, 06:20 PM
I need a good week. I'm not asking for presents or money or a new man or anything. Just an average good week. Last week was hell, and I cannot handle another week like that. Please be nice to me. I am too fragile to handle any more days like that.
Thanking you in advance,
May 16 2010, 02:16 PM
if i call you to ask wether i should be looking for an apartment for june 1st what will happen? will i be allowing you to maintain this cage i live in? will we fight viciously? will you say 'i'm sorry, you're free to go', lol yea right. put simply this limbo i live in is driving me crazy, if i call you to try to gain some direction will it be a mistake? will i be digging this trap even deeper?
let fucking go
May 16 2010, 07:39 PM
I don't know why I feel the need to still seek you out, to torture myself with pictures of you and everything else. I have someone new in my life, and he is wonderful and treats me like gold. He is better for me than you ever were. But I can't get over this feeling of just being completely cut out of your life like those 6 years never happened and like you don't give a shit about me. I want you to care, I want you to at least care about what happens to me, but you don't. You're just like every other person who left and didn't give a shit about me. I still care about you, and I don't know why. Seeing you with her is killing me. On some level, I'm really glad you're happy. I wanted you to be. But for some reason I can't get the fuck over this and move the fuck on. It's driving me insane. I want to stop thinking about you, to cut you out completely of my mind at least. I want to erase you eternal-sunshine style. Just tell me how the fuck to stop giving a shit, so I can be just like you.
May 19 2010, 06:24 PM
dear atlantic ocean,
thank you for bringing some extra strength in with the tide... again.
thank you for your dependable patience.
thank you for helping me gather my pieces.
c u next tues, love,
May 20 2010, 12:03 PM
I know you live in my house. Please don't steal or move shit around. I'm being nice by letting you stay.
Please stop biting me and Other Mommy.
May 20 2010, 04:55 PM
Not funny. 2 weeks. Enough is enough. And next week's excitement is already screwed. What have I done wrong to deserve this? Karma should have come back around by now....
Jun 4 2010, 05:18 PM
how is this still happening? i've learned so much, i've grown so strong, i'm trying so hard and i have everyday for over 7 months. how is his wrecking ball still using my life as a pinata? how is he getting away with this? is it something i'm doing wrong? what am i missing. i've never tried so hard in my life and ... i just dont know how this can still be happening.
please, help me escape this island.
love and faith,
Jun 6 2010, 04:55 AM
You have no idea how much it distresses, thrills me that you still can get a rise out of me without even trying. I still hate myself for loving you.
Jun 7 2010, 04:50 AM
You're such a lame asshole, you know that? Geez Louise, i'm not going to be nice to you, because you totally disrespected me. Ambushing me during the opening of an exhibition won't help either. And that text you sent me 'something wrong?'. You could've flat out asked me. And i did not react to any of your texts because then it's like this big thing, which it is not. But i can't for the life of me understand why you think i would do stuff for you after you were so rude during two out of three times we met up/hooked up.
Oh, and stop the xo's in your texts. You have a gf for crying out loud.
I really thought you were just this nice guy. I even thought there could be something more between us, last year. But when i saw you this weekend you were trying so hard to not even greet me (i saw you were 'busy' 'calling' someone, but come on). It was embarrasing.
Anyway, now i know you're not that nice and gentle. Prick.
Stop downdating. Stop giving the goods to these guys, they are soo not worth your time. You deserve so much better. This weekend you learnt a thing or two. And while these moments were not always positive, you can turn that around by moving forward.