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self: do not post while under the influence of drugs. this goes for myspace & emails too, mawd forbid what you might say that you cannot get back again wacko.gif .
no posting! got it?

busties: I apologise if any of my recent posts are rambly/incoherent. my anti-crazi drags make me apparently, well, Crazi. rolleyes.gif laugh.gif
QUOTE(Moonpieluv @ Sep 3 2008, 02:42 PM) *

Oh do I know how you feel about emotional neglect and gaming addiction!
I'm leaving next tuesday for those very reasons...well, and some, to be brief, mental abuse. I wish you strength in being able to leave him and give yourself what you deserve. You sound like you've really put up with a lot over the years...especially if your inclination is to just leave.
Good luck.


You know, it was your posts that made me finally get an account here. I read through your story and thought...damn, this girl and I are living the same life. Thank you so much for your support and good luck with the move! You deserve to be noticed, and cared for, and loved...none of that should ever be negotiable. Your happiness is important, too! Maybe you'd like to join me in taking a baseball bat to their computers. That scene with the fax machine in Office Space calls to me! ;-)

Dear. M.

You are giving my supervisor grief over that?? You should perhaps look at the functioning of your office before pointing fingers. I document my decisions, and perhaps you should train your staff to open their eyes and read why I've made the decisions I have.


a competant staff member.

Wow what a huge compliment!! I'm glad I brought you into this community. I found/find it to be so comforting and self-affirming in that it helps to know others share your joys and your pains. Though I hate it for you to be in such a similar situation, I'm glad there's someone else out there who understands. Trust me...he's doing it right now. I think I know the back of his head better than his face. He's using games to deny, ignore, avoid any real emotion (if this plucker even has emotion) the fact that I'm leaving. He's used them in every facet of the relationship. He can't deal. and it's pathetic and cowardly and selfish and neglectful.
Obviously I'm taking a break from packing. I plan on having it all done by Sunday so I can hit the beach on monday for the last time in a bit.

Thanks for your support, too. And there is a great youtube vid that has a bunch of kids beating the crap out of a computer, setting it afire, and then beating it to a pulp again. It's wonderful.

Letter that I would send:
Dear P,
Thanks for connecting me to one of your friends. I think we will get along famously. She's definitely right up my alley..a bit strange, but normal. I truly appreciate the fact that you are hooking me up with buds even before I get there.
Love, me

Dear A,
You just don't care do you? WOW. You know your mom called me? I haven't talked to her cause I just don't know what to say. I know she's crushed, but you're just going to tell her that I'm crazy and blarghty blargh and whatever bullcrap you can pull out of your ass....OH WAIT! you don't have anymore room in your ass, do you? Your head is taking up all the space, isn't it? oh well...I guess you can pull it out of some pot of treasures with your sword and fairywing magic, then?
You call this a life? pish pish.
Poop on your face,

Dear self,
I know this is cheesy cheese, but I say you get all new myspace pics of your new life looking hot as hell with your loving caring friends and family in your new state. I say...totally commit to yourself, your interests, hobbies, thrifting, collecting, etc. I say burn off your beer belly, color your hair, paint your nails, and rouge your lips cause it's high time you sass your sweet self into the life you really want. I say get a tattoo. I say get that job, get that master's, and go to really really great rock shows. I say get yourself some black or red patten leather heels. I say join the craft mafia and start selling your stuff. I say go. let's do this. Let's do this strong and alone like winter steele. I love you. You deserve this. You deserve better. You rock my own face.
dear you,

I think Kev was right. I HATE it when he's right. I don't want to admit it, but I am in my head and my heart and it will be okay.


blink.gif Really???? You billed them TWELVE AND A HALF HOURS to replace a window unit??????

Good god, I don't bill 12 hours to totally rebuild an ultracold.
Dear ex-boyfriend,

I don't know why I sometimes go onto your girlfriend's facebook and look at pictures of the two of you. I have to do it by going on hers because I deleted you both from my friends list, which by now you've probably realized - or not.

I hate that we all used to be friends.

I hate that you look happier with her than you did with me.

I hate that you've included her in your life in ways that you NEVER would with me.

I hate that you got to keep pretty much all but two of our mutual friends when we broke up.

I feel like you and all of them must think I'm a HUGE bitch, but they didn't have to cohabit in an emotionally abusive relationship with you for over a year.

I really did want to be friends with you, but you hurt me too many times for that and though I've moved on, most of the time when I think back on us, all I see feel hear is the pain of being with you, and that makes me sad; because of how you handled the break-up it tainted all the good.

I hope you're happy and well and doing what you want with your life, and go fuck yourself.

love, me


Dear dancerboy,

I'm really enjoying where things are going with us. I love that we're on the same page about what we want out of what we have, and that when I talk with you about it, you respond maturely, calmly, and take my concerns seriously.

I promise I will stop making comments about how sexy your body is when we aren't in a sexual situation. I can tell it makes you feel uncomfortable and objectified. I think I say them because I like being objectified every once in a while by persons I like and trust and have sexual relationships with. But I can tell it makes you uncomfortable, so I'll keep it in the bedroom.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks - knowing you has confirmed that what I want for myself right now is possible to have, and you are handling everything perfectly.

That and I'm so happy that I finally met someone who fucks me better than my ex-boyfriend, because if he had been the best sex of my life (don't get me wrong it was amazing that's why I stayed with him so long) I would have been really sad.

See you on the weekend.
love, me
Dear AP,

It's lovely. It's absolutely lovely. Tiny, delicate & oh, so perfect.

Why am I not happier about it? Why does it, in fact, kinda piss me off? Whiskey tango foxtrot?

Dear AZ Guy,
For the love of Sid and Nancy, what part of "I want to be friends" did you not understand? I do NOT want to be on a roller coaster of a relationship, I am fed up with knowing--yes, knowing--that you only want to be with me when times are good, so why would I want to go back to you knowing that the next bout of depression will send you fleeing? Even if there was no depression, you'd still find a reason to leave, or complain how you feel confined, or act like a jerk. Stop for a second and imagine how that makes me feel. Yes, that will be a stretch, but try. I do not want a boyfriend who is only going to be around for a little bit when things are fine, and as your mom said, either shit or get off the damn pot. Find someone who is going to be fine with you whining about being in a relationship, being insulting and trickery. I have moved on, I see you as a friend, so why are you having such a hard time? There was a reason why I want friendship, and if you can't handle it, then fuck you.
dear god/dess--

bring back my puppymonster whole. honestly i don't know whatelse to say. i just need her right now. she brings me so much happy, and i need all the happy i can get right now. i want her back. i want that puppy back as happy, silly, existential, sweet, funny, deadpan, playful, and goofy as she was before. no more pills no more doctor visits except for check ups, i want her to be strong. i want to take her to the dog park and run with her like i used to. i want to see her run between people's legs and knock them over again. i need some happy in my life. i want my bell back whole.

I'm so sorry that your sweet dog has had so many health problems, GT. My heart goes out to you both.

Why did you drink that cup of coffee?! You knew you had to be up at 7:30am. So why drink coffee at 11pm? Stupidstupidstupid. Bah.

UGH! What a nightmare, I know. And I wish I could make it all better for you, but the best I can do is help you to push forward. Part of moving forward involves a good deal of pain, though. For instance, when I talk to you on Monday I've got a LOT of criticism to give you on that info you wrote for your website. You always say you want me to look at this stuff and that you appreciate the help I offer, so keep that in mind when I completely chop off those first 2 paragraphs, okay? Don't be so emotionally attached to those words. My goal is to make this the very best it can be. I want the website to look and sound professional. I want you to succeed! Please let me help you do that.

dear universe,

is it too much to ask that just once, I'd like to relax (relax, take joy and luxuriate in) into the knowledge that a romantic partner will have my back...and not have that trust betrayed? Is that really such a high standard?

I internalize his hurts - "what hurts him, hurts me" - so why the fuck can't he do it for me? Is it really so hard for him to feel that degree of empathy?
Beautiful fuzzywuzzy golden boy Lucky:
hey, Mama here, missing you baby boy, as always, but you know that, bc I still talk to you all the time.
- did you put those pictures on the computer? the ones I'd never seen before with the sort of red cast to them?
you, right in your favorite spots in the hall way, where I am sure I still hear you settle and plop down at for the night, still keeping guard.
yes the new babes are growing like weeds still, and they are sweet and wild, but no, not you sugarboy. there's only one You in my life and I am both grateful and sad for that, tho MiaBella I am convinced has your eyes.

I'm writing you for a reason today: see, there's a new kid on your block, a lovely wonderful girl close to your age named Bell that I think you'd get along with just famously. will you watch for her? take her around and show her all the best play places to run & splash and introduce her to everyone (like Cindy) please too?
you're such a good boy Luck, always wanting to make us happy, I feel alittle better knowing that you & Bell will be there together now, bc I worry you might be lonesome without us though I know it's the other way around.

I miss you sweet boy. I think I always will, but am so eternally grateful for the love and honor and gift of you you gave us.
please give Bell some big super soaking welcome licks & be the wonderful good boy that you are.
much much much much love,
puppy monster,

daddy, gordon, and i miss you more than you know. we've all been crying in turn, and then laughing, and then super quiet. it's like a chain reaction. we see things that remind us of you everwhere, and we still can't believe you're gone. it makes me so mad. they said you had an abscess huge hole in your diaphragm. they said it looked like something that happens if you had been hit by a car very hard, or took a 10 ft fall. but you didn't. we looked after you, and if a car came roaring at you we would have jumped in front of it. the doctor said they didn't really understand all the problems you were having. your lungs and heart were having problems too. you were supposed to be with us for a very long time. but maybe you knew different. we were talking about how we'd go to the bathroom, and you would nose the door open, stick your head in and you'd rest your chin on our thigh, and just look up at us with those eyes.

i loved those eyes. i swear, you had more comic timing than any other pooch. i used call you 'dog newheart' because you'd do that bob newheart thing where you'd just look bewilered at everything going on, and it was deadpan funny. we used to say you were our little ferdinand the bull, cos we'd watch you outside under the apple tree, just contemplating life. i just thought you were so fucking funny. i remember just watching you at the breeder's house. daddy and the breeder were talking about you, and there you were, between them, at their feet and you would watch whoever was talking. your head just went back and forth like you were watching a tennis match. i fell in love. there was something different about you, with your little wrinkled forehead.

i didn't want daddy to get a mastiff. they were too drooly. too messy. but i guess when you're in love those things don't matter anymore. at least not to me. yeah i bitched and moaned, but i wish you were here drooling. i miss hearing you ring those little bells on the back door saying you want to go out. i miss watching you herd the chickens, how, when we picked them up you thought it was a game and you would snap at them. or putting your head on my lap, or how you'd greet me when i'd come here for the weekend by running between my legs. how i used to tease you by straddling you backwards and putting my chest on your back and talking to your tail. i miss how you were afraid of the shore, and water that didn't come from the hose. i miss running as fast as i could and you galloping, effortlessly keeping up. god i loved watching you run. i loved it. you looked so goofy and so happy, lips and gums flapping with wild abandon. i loved how you walked, more like a jungle cat than a dog. i loved that you scared the shit out of people cos you were so happy to meet them, and all they saw was a huge dog running towards them, but once they saw you just wanted to love on 'em they'd smile like they had just been given a new childhood. i loved how you would sigh when you were annoyed with us, or snort like a bull. the way you would commandeer my blankets in the living room, pulling them off me with your weight, covering them with your drool, as a way of making them yours. till i washed them... again. i loved watching you kneed your bed like a cat. and god, you were so beautiful. i never thought mastiffs were pretty dogs either. their heads were big, and they looked weird, but you were streamlined, you were just beautiful. your head was narrower than most of the breed, and yet you were so quintessentially a mastiff. and daddy loved you sooo much too. she used to love when you would bark at things. she would say, look! her ass totally clenches! every time you'd bark i'd giggle. but i keep thinking about a few weeks ago when we took you rafting-- and finally got you into some water-- how some other dogs, pitbulls on rafts with their owners started barking at us. as soon as they heard your booming deep voice shaming their yelpy hounds, the owners said, to their dogs, "that's a big dog, you don't want to fuck with that!" little did they know you never hurt 'em. hell, you were whining not a half hour before that because the lapping of the waves on the shore scared you. god you were such a gentle spirit. i miss you waiting at the foot of the stairs for me to come down in the morning. everybody said you really loved me, i loved you, belle. i miss the funny way you'd sit, like you were doing your best to be a people. legs out straight. i missed ducking after you drank your water and you'd shake your head. i think you liked keeping me on my toes. i'd hear you drinking water, and i'd grab a towel and announce to anyone near me, "sound of impending dog!" instead of sound of impending doom. it was, like so many things, a game with you. i called you my puppy monster, because you were just that. a monster puppy. you loved playing so much and i always expected you to grow out of your puppy playfulness, but you never did. i'll always love you for that, and everything else.

your person,
dear R -

Maybe you're just a really nice guy being nice. I dunno. But anyway, I find myself wondering if maybe you kinda um.. notice me a little. I also kinda find myself checking to see if you've read my message and hoping you'll write back. Fuck. I think I kinda like you. (shit. I don't even know if you're single.)

I'm so sorry, GT.
(((((((((Daddy & Gordon, too))))))))))))))))))))
{{{{Puppy Monster and all who loved him}}}} sad.gif
stop trying to look at our myspace page- you are Not Invited!! I will not accept your invitation & blame it on the mr w no regrets. it's a Shared page for Our Friends, not just mine, and he has never ever liked you at all.
maud! if I wanted you to be a part of my life I'd A) call You B ) actually Tell You things beyond just vague 'we're all fine' generalities and C) offer to help you in the situation which you described on the phone recently- but instead did you not notice my silence?
each time you call I feel you are fishing for information about us so you can gossip, something of a patten the last 16 years now.
and your kid being screwed up=== gee- there's a shock!
at 11 she was world wise in ways that so unnerved me I would not let her be alone in the same room as frecklette yet you seem so genuinely stunned that she got in with a bad crowd that you had to change her schools?
don't have time for your nonsense & am going to screen from now on tho know I should probably say a lot of this to your face,

creepy old pizza delievery guy:
it's now to the point where I dread opening the door when I order from there, bc it's YOU, always, Always YOU on the other side. you didn't oogle me this time, but instead made a comment that this was something of a pre-arranged date - EWWWWW - and did I mention the word CREEPY yet?
much as I love their food, am going to change pizza joints.
please don't stalk me,
very not interested customer

Why did IM me when I was on Facebook. You're one of my serious ex boyfriends. I now know you have a family-- the whole 2 kids and a wife thing. Your message popped up, and I didn't want to tell you to fuck off. You didn't love me enough to marry me, and that's fine. You got the Christian wife who loves to live on a farm. I knew that I was a city girl, and hated Madison and Milledgeville. Your family couldn't understand that I was an athetist feminist liberal who was an intellectual freak.

I tried to be polite and pretend to really care about the 2 kids. The only really think I could muster is that Mcgeek and I are getting a puppy. Pets aren't kids. To me, getting a dog is a big deal. I want to be happy for you. It just brought up a shitload of weird emotions and memories that I didn't want to deal with today.

thanks everybustie. i really appreciate all of the ((())). it means a LOT to me and daddy.
My dear, sweet brother,

I know you are the oldest and as such, you kind of make all the decisions about this stuff.

But why the HELL do we have to have such a freaking stilted, horrible, depressing, churchey, morbid FUNERAL for mom?

Why can't we do what Dad's brother did, have a Celebration of Life??

I do not think I will be able to get through the funeral that YOU have planned, without a couple good swigs of brandy.

Gah. And people are going to fly in from all over the country for your little parade of morbidity?

I feel sorry for them.
Tree, I had to fight my fam to have a funeral that I felt did my mom service. It was my choice, but I had to deal with her sisters. Try to find a balance if possible, that's what we did. I feel that I did my mum justice. I rocked that shit. We agreed on two songs, the third was a joint love of QUEEN, "Fat Bottom Girls".

Dear Self,

What a mess you've made. What a complete and utter mess. Do you have any idea what you've done or how long it will take to clean this up? You are so stupid and impressionable. What a child. Grow up. You don't deserve all the good things you have. No wonder he's afraid. You are crazy and need therapy and medication. All repercussions from here on out are a result of your own personal silliness.


Dear you,

I'm pulling away fromy ou, I'm protecting myself. I am sick of doing this. I adore you, buty I'm starting to get over you. I cannot stand here idly by until you figure out what you want and if you want to be with me. I understand that you are having a hard time right now, but so I am, and if I continue to wonder like this, it's just going to continue bothering me. I do not like feeling this way. If you don't realize what's right in front of you, I am not going to loiter around until you see what it is. I hate to say it, but by the timeyou figure it out, I won't be here like that. I will still be your friend, that will never change, but I don't know if I'll be here as a lover. It really is your loss. I thought this would hurt more, but perhaps I haven't really acknowledged it yet. I need to watch out for me most of all. I will not be hurt.

sooo sad
dear boyfriend,

i have really grown to love you over the past 6months. at first i thought it wouldn't work out because of our situations and all, but it's been going pretty well. you've introduced me to sooooo many new things in life. but i really hate it when you still keep in contact with your ex's. i know you guys are just friends and blah blah blah, but i don't like it. also, i wish we could be more intimate and i want to show my love for you sexually but because of this damn bacterial vaginosis from hell we can't really roll in the sheets. sometimes i want you to leave and sometimes i want to hug you all night. i don't know......i just want you to be happy and maybe you can't be 100% with me.


dear dancerboy,

I was so wrong in the last letter I didn't send you, that I had to send you a real letter. I know we're going to talk tomorrow, and I have a feeling that we'll both end up with the solution neither of us want, but both will live with.

Things changed after that night a month ago, they just haven't been the same. Maybe we have to rehash what happened that night. Maybe you need to explain yourself better. Maybe you feel like I'm just using you for sex which is why you've been more stand-offish. I'm not. I do like YOU, not just your body and your cock.

I don't think you know how to deal with me. I don't think you've ever met another woman like me before.

I think you think that my want to have a LOT of sex with you means that I don't value the time we spend together that doesn't include sex. It doesn't, it just enhances it. To me, it's what turns hanging out with you from a bowl of ice cream into a sundae. I love a bowl of ice cream, but if I can get a sundae, why not? Granted, sometimes I don't want the extra calories, and a bowl of ice cream is just what I need. But a sundae's no good without ice cream, you catch my drift?

I really hope you want the same thing I do, but I don't think you do. I'm thinking it's going to end up being friends, because you can't wrap your brain around what I want, and I can't handle what you want.

I'm glad you're my friend, but I'll be sorry to lose the sex. It's some of the best sex I've ever had.

dear you -

I don't think you even notice me. ugh. it would be cool at least if we could be friends??? I don't think you even notice me as that. ugh.


.. and dear YOU -

is that your girlfriend??? I think so - the body language says something anyway - but I'm not 100% sure.

I still think I caught you looking at me.

dear letter thread -

sorry for hogging you with insignificant stuff when other people have really heavy shit to write.
but it's great to be able to say what I want to say even if it's insignificant and just get it off my chest.


dear friends -

please don't do this again... I really want to go out tonight and we even had PLANS. So why aren't you texting me back? I know you're probably just busy at that other get together first, but I don't think you realized that the honoree had invited me to it also, last week - I just didn't know the time it got changed to. So when I texted you like 90 minutes ago asking about it, I was sooo ready to go out and be there. But I don't wanna go all that way to have it either not be started, or be over. So I feel stuck. And I don't wanna text again and be that annoying friend - specially since this happened not even a week ago. ugh.

Dear G,

If you want me to be your friend, then stop getting all moody on my ass when I tell you you're wrong. When I said something earlier today, it was because you were being a bitch. I know you don't trust me...I'm not sure you trust anyone, but seriously, I always do exactly what you want me to do and I never say a word. We always do what you want and I never argue with you. I have spent so many hours the last three days jumping when you say jump. What a horrible thing to assume of me, just for pointing out that you were being irrational. Just a thought...if you have a problem with something...say it...stop being so fucking passive agressive....

Dear R -

it's really nice out today. Sunny, and it's actually not supposed to rain. - So why don't you call me up and take me on that motorcycle ride you promised....

come on, do it!



dear boys -

why do you mystify me so??

dear horrible cough,

GO. THE. FUCK. AWAY. my chest hurts. my stomach hurts. my back hurts. and it's all your fault! just go away, go find someone i don't like and infect them. please!

thank you
please don't pressure me about bringing f for the holiday too.
z is a high probability, bc it'd be such a wonderful suprise for frecklette, but f is little, and no matter what you say, little ='s chaos and more noise to me and with the 4 of you already coming, right on the heels of the mr's return, give me a damn break if I say it's too much for me.
nothing is ever enough for you.
are you even actually going to come or are you going to cancel on us yet as you have so often in the past?
I refuse to stress over this. I seriously Refuse to let this stress me out.
~it is what it is ~.
big cleansing breath in & exhale ~
youngest daughter
Dear dancerboy,

We had our talk, and what I knew was gonna happen, happened. OK, so now we're friends. I hope I'm over the sexual part of our relationship quickly - I think I can be. The fact of the matter is, you're a great guy and i admire that you're trying to make yourself better. Even though i said I wouldn't need time apart, I'm glad for the travelling I have to do over the next couple weeks.

Your friend,
Dear Goddess:

Please help the indie hipsterness that has got so out of control that it has become too cool to be FEMINIST anymore not completely take over the Bust mag, kay? Thinks.

B. G. I. -
You are one of the most ineffective directors I have ever come across. How can you not support your own staff, and without good reason? I can't wait to see your disappointed face when I quit for a better job.
it's ok to be sad.
today was tough. you told her stuff you had no intention of telling her, but stuff you know deep down really matters and this is the fall out. let yourself grieve for the wrongness of what was done to you, bc you know it really was wrong, and terribly awful and hurtful. trust L to get your through all this/that and believe her when she said that nothing you can say to her is going to make her judge you, or stop liking you bc you could see in her eyes that she hurt for you.
that letter to little girl you?
it'll wait, and hopefully you can write it with the words that stopped you before you survived it all and are safe and ok now.

loving and believing in you,

thank you busties.
Ongoing ((((freckle))))

Dear Universe,

Please give me the strength to advocate on my behalf. Please shut off the part of my brain that tells me I do not have a reason to fight this situation or just shut up and move onto the next thing. I know I am right. It is not entitlement I am talking about. I have been treated unfairly. It is hard to have strength when others tell you that you are blaming the system.

with love,
Dear Stargazer -

don't give up. Think about it as harassment or abuse on the job - would you ever advocate that someone do nothing about it, at not only their expense, but possibly at the expense of others in the future that might go through the same thing (which could have possibly been stopped if you'd spoken up) And don't stop listening to your gut. If that's what you feel, then that's what's right for you. Don't listen to others. You can always move on, but you can't always come back to this. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you never take.

love you
Dear You -

WTF? Why the fuck are you being so nice? Dude, I've seen you out a few times in the last few weeks and I've not paid attention to you because, well, frankly, you've not gone out of your way to even acknowledge my presence - when I know you had to have seen me. So to hell with you. And then tonight you are being all nice, calling me after the show to let us all know where you guys were and that we should come meet you for drinks. And THEN you come eat with us and THEN invite me to the opening of your friend's bar tomorrow? WTF????

you know what? FUCK YOU. You can't pick and choose when YOU'RE going to be nice to me. You can't dictate when YOU want to have a friendship.

I'm gonna be nice to you, but fuck you. I'm not falling for it. I spent the whole fucking last year of my life in knots over you. - I'm happy now. You are NOT gonna fuck my serenity up.

oh, and yes, you DID hear everyone talking about this weekend, because I invited them and not you. And as much as I'm tempted, I'm NOT gonna invite you. Or maybe I should, so you can see me with R. But you know what? I wouldn't do that to him. Cause you're not worth it.

Figure out what you want. But don't include me in it until you grow up and can stick with it. Which I doubt will ever happen, because you can't own up to yourself - and by that time, I'll be fucking HAPPY doing something else.

so fuck off.

Dear R -

you're so nice, and so shy, and such a breath of fresh air. I am just getting to know you, in a super slow way that is really refreshing so far. You're so endearing (even if you are really young) and I really like you. It's just nice to have someone seem to genuinely LIKE me, and seem to like me enough that you respect what I feel about getting to know each other slowly. And someone who keeps his word. Whatever happens, no matter which way we decide to take it after getting to know each other better, I respect the fuck out of you for just being a straight up guy. (and the fact that you're like a giant shy teddy bear doesn't hurt)

looking forward to seeing you on Friday,

PS: Dear You, again -

Goddamn you. We still click and we both know it. I hate you. FUCK.

Dear life...

can't you just get a freaking move on. I'm tired of waiting. I see a good future, but the now kind of sucks, so let's move forward...mmmkay? I am tired of waiting for the "right time." Part of me just wants to hit the explode button and make it happen now. Scrap it all and start over. yeah, I know it's not a good idea, and there can be careful planning as to cause the least pain possible...but right now, I'm not sure I care. I'm tired of waiting for other people.

Ronia D'Arc
Um, how do you do this? I'm completely new to this whole chat/forum thing.

Like, is anyone there? Is ANYONE THERE???

Haaaallloooooooooo, is anyone there? Can you heeeeaaar me?

Ok, girls, or non-girls if you're not a girl, I'd like to introduce myself:

My name is Ronia D'Arc--I'm a 34-year-old mommy of one child (a tomboy). I'm married to a man who can be wunderbar at times but who also at times makes me want to put my head in the toilet and flush, flush, flush away.

I work as the executive assistant at a library--it's great but also not great. In fact, right now it's not great at all. Right now I hate it. I hate being an executive assistant. I hate opening interoffice envelopes. I hate wearing conservative clothes. I hate pretending to care when I don't care.

But I like the library--no, I love the library. I am a book-y person, ie kind of weird, so I fit right in with all my book-y (weird, in a lovable way) coworkers. That's what I like about my job--my coworkers.

But what am I doing? I didn't come here to bore you with these boring details about my boring work life! I came to ask you to visit my blog, Ronia D'Arc Tells The Truth. (

I'm asking you to visit my blog because it's an anonymous blog (I'm using a pseudonym) and so I can't tell my friends or family about it. I don't have any readers except for my husband, and he only reads it because I force him to.

Soooo...I have no real readers. And I need someone to read my freaking blog. Please, please read it. Just one sentence of one paragraph of one entry. PLEASE!! I will be ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!!!


hey, thanks for the generic stupid post fucknut. let me assure you by posting your horseshit, you will not get a single person looking at your blog. troll somewhere else, thats how this works.
chillout, gt. bust is unusual and it's hard to find where our guidelines are. girl sounds like she just really doesn't get it. if she doesn't learn, then bring out the guns. but until then, give her the benefit of the doubt. don't make newbies pay for previous trolls' mistakes. it's not their fault nobody gives us a way to tell newbies what the dealio is.

p.s. and don't get mad at me too. you know i love you.
i honestly don't think we'll see her again. she just came here to get eyeballs for her blog. she doesn't give a crap about the lounge, she's just trolling. i'd put money on it. i've read her blog. if she was at all interested in posting, she would have read the thread. she just picked the top 5 threads and posted, and as an after thought put a ps that had something to do with the topic. all in the space of about 3 minutes.

trust me. she ain't coming back.

ps...why would i get mad at you?
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