Jan 27 2008, 05:59 PM
When are things going to work out in those terms?
Jan 27 2008, 06:07 PM
Ah yes dear Universe:
I second cocl's sentiments.
Thank you in advance.
Jan 27 2008, 09:53 PM
I can't believe you. I worked my ass off for you
for a year and a half - listening to you, comforting
you, giving you advice, giving you practical information
and support to move onward with your life. You're 26,
it's not like "it's too late". You're young. You can still go to
uni, get a (paid) job, get therapy, move to another town.
None of those things are unattainable or unreal.
But I'm done telling you that, and I mean really done,
not a little bit done now and then. I am officially, perpetually,
for ever and ever and all eternity DONE with hearing you complain
about your life. I've given you all the advice, all the info and
all my experience as an older person who has also been through
a lot of shit. If I could get better and stronger, so can you. I am not
going to spend any more time listening to you lamenting how
fucked up your life turned out and how everything could have
been so different if not this or that had occurred. Well yes, maybe,
but how very fucking pointless to wallow in it for 7 years.
Get your ass to therapy - you have like 3 doctors and an insurance
person who know all about your case already, and you can get
it covered. I had to wait for 2 years to meet with a retarded CBT
therapist who couldn't do anything for me, and that sucked in a
profound way, but it didn't mean my life was over. In many ways,
you actually have it a lot easier than I did. It's all there, just
Yeah, I told you that already. About a thousand times, 3 times per day
for over a year. So I'll tell you one last time in a letter I won't even
bother to send to you - it's your life, you only have one, so stop
wasting it. You are not helpless, you are not on your own, you are
not a hopeless case. You are just very, very, very, very passive.
And you like to feel sorry for yourself A LOT. But being miserable
is not an identity or a set state, it's a feeling. I should know.
Take care now.
Jan 28 2008, 01:51 PM
Jan 28 2008, 02:45 PM
Jan 28 2008, 07:35 PM
Oh my GAWD. You're moving here?!? Ok, considering your field, it isn't so unexpected.
But I don't know how to act. I'm so happy. You were an awesome boss, and a good almost-friend. I'm afraid I'll act all fanboy and scare you away. I don't know how to do this.
Yeesh. How lame. I almost wish this wonderful thing wasn't happening, so I wouldn't have to deal with the stress.
Jan 29 2008, 10:02 AM
I hope that you are comfortable in your world of yours. Because I am going to shake it up a little. So your hippocratic way will soon be put to the test and we will see where we land when the dust settles. Good Luck!
Jan 29 2008, 10:08 AM
You're being a douche bag.
Jan 29 2008, 05:07 PM
Dear Goddess of Menstration,
Please let it come on schedule, the cramps are a good sign. Please please please.
Jan 31 2008, 10:53 PM
Tonight is a bad night. More accusations from Ye Olde Asshat. This time, I wanted to crumple up and die. I've had this horrible feeling of some kind of tragedy is just lurking around the corner...like a car accident, or something up Asshat's sleeve. Tonight I wanted only to talk to you. Actually, I didn't even want to talk. It was more like the familiarity of your body and self. Perhaps the only tragedy I am feeling is you turning me into a monster once again. Maybe that's the cognitive dissonance. I've been the object of your cruelty and hatred before, and I remember this feeling. Fuck, you know...maybe I'm just reacting to my own life feeling out-of-control lately and waiting for you to reject me again when I need you.
I'm feeling the distance more lately. I talked to Herman about you and started crying last weekend, because it still hurts to talk about when you left my apartment for the last time. I crumpled up on the floor like a five year old. I sobbed for a few hours and had to go to school the next day. All of my students knew something really horrible had happened, and none of them busted my chops. They all backed off, and I hated that they could read my face that clearly. I never bring my personal life to school...I felt weak.
Nights like this, I hate feeling that rip grow larger and larger. It widens and fills with blood. I do a lot of things to distract myself from the scarring, and most of them feel like exercises in futility. Another failure. I've gotten good at that.
My brother sent me a funky keychain...you know, the ones with the old picture from the 50s with the lady on it and a sassy saying. This one read: My garden kicks ass.
I know he meant it to be loving, but I felt like I got kicked in the face. I'm weeping now just thinking about it. The Seed Savers catalog showed up. It all just shoves the knife in a little deeper, Paul. It fucking hurts.
Fuck it. I can't think about this anymore.
--The Former Morning Glory Queen
Feb 4 2008, 04:30 AM
dear boss -
please call me back. this is getting ridiculous. I just need to ask you a couple of questions, but it's really time sensitive. I know I missed your call the other night, but dammit I called you right back... you could have answered. geez - do I only get one shot at talking to you? Why do you always make it so hard to get a hold of you???
argh. Just call me. Or answer when I call you!
Feb 10 2008, 09:13 AM
Dear friend since forever,
you are losing it. I don't think I can see any of the traits I found endearing, charming or interesting anymore.
You are boring, rigid, full of yourself, bourgeois, a bigot, incredible superficial, scarily neurotic (bordering to
psychotic, in fact, and that's not a term I use lightly) and did I mention FULL OF YOURSELF?
Luckily, I'm quite used to you after 17 years, and I can always avoid you. I just feel sorry for your long term bf.
I'm sorry, but you're just not as educated and clever as you think, but you will never know, because you wouldn't
let anyone else talk for more than 2 seconds, you're so fucking aggressive and self-righteous.
I wish you could only hear yourself as other people hear you. Or maybe not, because you'd kill yourself.
Seriously. Yesterday you were just an aggressive, neurotic borderline psychotic MESS. I wonder what goes on
in your mind. It must really truly suck to be you. Sometimes I feel that it's the only thing that keeps me levelheaded
when I'm with you, what keeps me from just punching you in the face. That I know that it must suck so bad.
How did you become such a hateful, vengeful person? How can you honestly feel that you're so much above
everyone else? That you have the RIGHT? I blows my mind.
And while we're at it, could you cut down on the BMI talk for a bit and how you HATE/envy every girl you see
with BMI 17? And how nothing gives you more sincere pleasure than seeing a supposedly "pretty girl" look plain?
I need a very long vacation from you.
Feb 10 2008, 09:22 AM
dear you -
why do you get bummed when I don't tell you the details of my personal life, when you don't share any details of yours? why do you ask me if I have any news or gossip when you don't offer up any of your own? why do you ask me if I've "seen any action" when it's really none of your business? You saying some of these things, it's like we're in a relationship, which you've made painfully clear you have no interest in with me, so why should you give a fuck? You could make this stuff your business if you wanted to, but you don't, so why are you even asking? You send these emails to me now and then that are telegraphed and vague and don't even cop to the fact that YOU don't do what you get bummed at me for not doing. honestly, why do you act like my friend? because it's pretty fucking clear that our friendship can only be on your terms, and that's not how I play ball. so when I don't answer your email, or am vague, now you know.
I fucking loved you, you fucking asshole. you should be so fucking lucky.
...if I only had the chance to say this all to your face. but instead it will have to stay here.
Feb 10 2008, 01:22 PM
I'm sorry. I can't talk about you to anyone that hurts even more. I don't want to hear what people have to say about this decision. I know it is what is right for me but that doesn't make me feel any better about it. All I can say is I'm sorry.
Feb 10 2008, 01:37 PM
(((((missladyj))))) I hear you.
Feb 10 2008, 02:26 PM
I don't love you anymore. I loved the idea of you, and I still care about you, but I am not in love with you and the whole thing was just a mess. I am finally seeing you clearly, in a way that I did before, only now I have accepted it is not something I want to be apart of, I do not want to love you "in spite of" and your fucked up selfish behavior is not excusable because of your life traumas. You are smarter than that, and if you're not going to rise above it, I certainly am not going to stick around as your secret bitch lover. I don't love you anymore, and while I appreciate the time you spent listening to me say I loved you, and then listening to me cry about loving you when we were apart, what I really would like you to know is I don't love you and I regret loving you at all. Let's be friends. Creative acquaintances. Never lovers.
Feb 10 2008, 02:56 PM
R and S-
How many employees is she worth? C has already left because of her. Now N and M are giving their two weeks because of her. Yet you're promoting her. Trust me, resignation letters will soon be on your desk from L, D, and quite possibly me. You must be getting something good out of her. But how many people are you willing to lose because of her? Is one employee worth six?
Feb 10 2008, 03:36 PM
I sincerely hope that I haven't scared you away with my ridiculous insecurity. I care so much about you. Please know that you are not the cause of my depressed mood lately. It's just that I feel comfortable enough with you to talk about my fears and insecurities. I fear that may have freaked you out. I don't blame you. I do hope we can work it out. I am pretty sure that I am starting to love you.
Feb 11 2008, 12:08 AM
I love ya! Keep the jokes coming and I will keep the laughter rolling. I'd do it all again, and you know what I mean. You are my best friend.
You have helped me to be more at peace in the world. And I have been a mirror for you.
I'll follow you into the dark...
Wow. I forgive you.
Wow. I hope you forgive me.
Feb 11 2008, 01:34 AM
please let it not be a fluke! i mean, i don't necessarily care if *he* is a fluke, but please don't let *this* be a fluke. please keep throwing things at me to disprove this debilitating idea that i'm unlikeable, and opportunities to practice not believing in it!
also, it would be nice if i could have help in getting a little more willpower, but i guess that is a contradiction in terms, huh.
thanks in advance,
Feb 12 2008, 12:41 AM
Wow! it's been a long time!!!
Sometimes I type in lounge.bust.com/discus and don't really know why. This is the first time in a LONG time that I've stayed and done something.
oh man it should be really fun when we go on our trip. I hope we can get really trashed together/make out because i have a small crush on you! And it's allowed!
I have to stop calling you after you call me. this is the first night when I've not just watched Scrubs and passed out and imagined that none of that happened. Unless you come to the states and become someone other than yourself, we can't be together.
I mean, we really will never be together. I think you know everything I was going to write here.
Dear Brian Wilson,
Your music makes me feel so strange as I sit here.
Feb 12 2008, 02:21 AM
I told you. I MOTHERFUCKING told you. Fuck with the big bitch & you get the big bitch's teeth & claws. Your flounce this morning was amusing as hell. At least I know it means you are a good video store clerk & are up on your refs.
Go fuck yourself (or your blow-up MOM),
Feb 12 2008, 04:46 PM
Dear AZ Guy,
Wow, did your mom chew you out this weekend? Normally, you don't apologize, but thanks. Just be glad you're flying in this weekend and not last weekend, or else I think my dad (and myself) would have kicked your ass for acting like such a jerk. I'm glad you apologized for it, though.
Feb 14 2008, 06:46 PM
Guy who lives across the street,
It is valentine's day. Don't you think it's time to get rid of the christmas tree? I mean, I know it's cold outside and the snow is deep. You can wait till spring to physically take the lights down.
But for heavens sake, it's WAY late to be still turning them on.
Feb 15 2008, 08:17 AM
I am sorry. I love you
Feb 15 2008, 08:34 PM
Hope everyone is able to achieve some peace
Feb 15 2008, 09:04 PM
I see, and for that I am deeply sorry.
Feb 16 2008, 07:06 AM
thanks. I am good. I thought I would be more sad about it but I am good. Surprisingly good.
Feb 17 2008, 11:24 PM
Dear creepy guy from my tango class,
Thank you so much for inviting me to the milonga. It's nice to meet a classmate who is keen to learn how to dance. Thank you for suggesting that we meet for coffee before the milonga because, just like you, the only reason I'm really taking tango lessons is because I want to pick up men who are old enough to be my father (a rhythm deficient father). Thank you for taking it like a champ when I politely declined the coffee invite and thank you for showing up to said milonga 15 minutes late. Thanks for plopping yourself down in a chair next to me and staring at the dance floor. Thanks for not initiating any sort of conversation. Thanks for waiting 20 minutes to ask me to dance with you. Oh and thank you for being so gracious as to let another man dance with me. You are so gallant. Thank you for walking me to my car when I told you I had to leave. And thank you so much for asking if I'd be comfortable dancing close to you because you believe we'd both benefit from it. Really thank you. I love a man who is direct!
Here's a tip: get some therapy and some more dance lessons. It might help you get over your bitterness about your shitty divorce. It might help you realize that discussing your opinions on "type A women" in your dance class may not be a great way to endear yourself to the woman 20 years your junior who you invited to dance. The dance lessons might actually help you entice more classmates to go to milongas with you.
Thank you bust boards for keeping this thread alive.
ps - thank you other non-creepy guy who invited me to the other milonga. I had a lovely time. You're incredibly polite. And you can dance.
Feb 18 2008, 11:12 AM
Do you really think I care? I fucked him already. Many times. In fact, I've been banging him since October!
Feb 18 2008, 12:56 PM
Feb 18 2008, 02:10 PM
dear black dress,
wow! thank you for making me feel like such a freaking goddess saturday night! really, after the baby-weight and that day three months ago when i swear i tried on (and despised) EVERY DRESS in the mall, i NEEDED that!
i haven't been this in love with something made of fabric since those ruffle-bottom potty-training panties my mom bribed me with when i was two.
leggily (thanks to you!),
Feb 18 2008, 02:19 PM
Once again, you have chosen to work instead of see your own daughter. Once again, you have denied me one of only two days a week that I ever have to myself. On top of that, I found it charming the way you simply hung up on me just now. Go fuck yourself.
Feb 19 2008, 08:35 PM
Me again. You are still *NOT* intimidating me. You are a d-bag. Hang around, skulk in corners all you like. It doesn't freak me out. It makes me laugh. You are failing double-fold as number one, I ain't falling for it & number two, your shit is weak. WEAK, I say. So just keep on keepin' on. And I'll keep laughing & thinking you are a d-bag. To paraphrase JayZ, you are tussling with "the muthafuckin' greatest". You WILL lose.
I repeat, go fuck yourself,
Feb 19 2008, 11:48 PM
Every part of me wants to believe that you want something with me. I wish you had of been a bit more upfront about wanting to stay single. I knew we were going slow, but I thought slow towards something. We kept saying "this" and I think that just made for so much confusion. Thinking we were on the same page when we weren't. I wish I had of stayed out on Friday. I wish spending time with you hadn't reminded me of another time in my life. And I was being totally truthful last night - I'm more than happy doing the friend thing, I am not going to censor myself with you. But I am sad today. I am sad for a life I feel like I can never have back and every time I lose something, even if it's small or not really a lose at all, am reminded of that. You were that reminder today. And I hope you were honest and you do call. I hope that you care and you really don't want to fuck this up. I think we went too far this time to try again in 2 or 3 years.
Feb 20 2008, 07:38 AM
What next? I honestly cannot deal with anything else at this moment. I just don't have it in me. Can you please improve all of the situations?
Feb 20 2008, 08:42 AM
please call me asap. I'm worried about you & while I understand that money is tight & jackass isn't giving you a dime of support & the baby is coming, there's still got to be some way to stay in touch? give me your 'rents # if nothing else ey. you've never not given me a way to reach you before.
I know you'll contact me soon bc just when one of us calls, the other was just about to so come on already.
the mr is out your way right now & I'd have sorta liked for him to check in on ya too as you're one of the only friend's of mine he can actually stand but it can't happen if we can't reach you.
missing & worrying,
Puppies: I adore you but could you let up on the non-pad accidents a bit ey? our house is starting to smell stanky!
ps: oh yah and can you chill w/ the leash-resistance already please? you are Not wee baby great whites caught on a fishing line trying to escape it. you are puppies, who we are all most anxious to be able to take out for walks as soon as you've had enough shots & the leash is an absolute!
Feb 20 2008, 01:43 PM
I feel guilty about the schadenfreude. But you kind of deserved it. This is why, in a town this small, you keep everything to yourself until it's set in stone. You annoy the crap out of so many people that we can't help but giggle when you get yours.
That was STOOPID! If they don't figure out instantly that you did it, they'll think it was me! You're not going to get P in trouble, just one of us. And the way that you casually asked me if I would watch your (HUGE, poorly-behaved) dog if you couldn't get back to town on occasion really scares me. I'm just waiting for the weekly phonecall now, asking if I'd take him. Once in a while is fine, but I have a feeling you're going to impose on me.
I wish we had the kind of friendship where we could talk about these things honestly.
HA! I win.
Feb 20 2008, 01:54 PM
Bwaaaaaaaahahahahaha. This has left me feeling deeply satisfied. And superior. I win honey!
Feb 20 2008, 02:46 PM
I love that CH & Obelix are also winnahs! And that Adnarim also thinks some people should go fuck themselves.
Thank you for coming. I was getting a touch concerned. I know they said I can't make any babies, but y'know. I'm fucked as it is, getting knocked up would just be icing.
Feb 20 2008, 02:53 PM
(inspired by auralpoison)
Thank you ever so much for ending! Seriosuly, sometimes you stay wayyy too long. No offense, but you can be a tad annoying. Kthx.
Feb 21 2008, 07:22 AM
I guess I'm just a little wilder than you, not that it's a competition.
I guess I'm just a little wilder than her, and I do more for you. Again, I win! keep in mind that I've been whoring about with a few men since I've met you.
You fucking RAWK!!!! Seriously.
Feb 21 2008, 02:59 PM
While I realize that the idea of a raise is probably out of the question...can you PLEASE make me salaried even at my current rate...especially if we start closing early on Fridays. I want the time off...I do not want the cut in pay! Oh yeah..and the extra vacay time would nice too. And please be nice in the review!
Feb 21 2008, 03:43 PM
(also inspired by auralpoison and adnarim)
Thank you for coming, now please be quick about it (or at least most of it) so I don't have to worry about you on the plane.
Thank you for not beating me so far for screwing up the report.
Feb 23 2008, 06:52 PM
I had a dream that Dad came to get you and take you home.
I hope it is true. If Dad comes, don't let your dementia chase him away. Even if you don't recognize him, he wants to take you Home.
Please. It's time for you to rest.
Feb 23 2008, 07:08 PM
Dear lords of divine inspiration,
Throw me a frikkin' bone!
I need the motivation to do something other than snoop around on the internet deciding that everyone else makes nicer art, and is prettier than me, too. This weird negative indulgence is getting ridiculous. Maybe if do something I'll feel better? Something really, really, really good.
We'll make a deal: I'll go to sleep now, you will touch me on the forehead or whatever you do, and tomorrow I'll feel better. New ideas.
Feb 24 2008, 08:08 AM
What the hell?
Feb 24 2008, 06:11 PM
Was that really necessary? I mean cmon. If tehre was a raise in question, then yes, be a little more tough on a review, but to be that bitchy when raise isn't even in the offing and then to tell me my workload is doubling and that you'll be riding me extra hard to "make me a better person". Um ,no..you aren't my mother. Anyway, I've been unhappy with the position for a while. And I was really counting on trying to get that HR position that was axed so we could have a full time IT person. And yes, I had already been thinking of applying for that other position before you brought it up. Thanks for making my decision much easier.
So tomorrow when I tell you I'm taking it, please work with me to get us through until June. And then I can sit back and watch you drive some other assistant insane.
Feb 24 2008, 07:27 PM
i like edie52's request. look into it for her, and me too if you don't mind.
dear this week-
let it not be a clusterfuck, mmkay?
Feb 26 2008, 05:31 AM
Things between us have gotten too . . . intense. Our, "relationship" has crossed some lines. I know we both are dealing with LDRs, but you can only push me too far. I'm not gonna fuck up what I have for some hot boot.
Don't feel so bad. You deserve the new iPod & the shoes & the clothes. Not everybody finds their mom dead in bed with dried blood coming out of her mouth. If retail therapy soothes your psyche, then roll with it. But realize that for every dollar you spend on yourself, the universe takes it out of your ass. You will pay one way or another. And it will be dear.
I'm not even a little bit gay, but I want to do things illegal in most states to you, you sexy, sexy bitch. I do own a Feeldoe & a harness set!