Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Corn Cob Up My Ass: Pet Peeves 7
The BUST Lounge > Forums > The F-Word
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43
Cob: "Hey girlbomb, how do I get a literary agent?"

Um, try Googling "get literary agent." See those 800000000 responses? Start by reading them.

I'm not trying to be a bitch; I do sincerely want to help other writers, which is why I will always reply in the super-friendliest manner ("Hey there! It's great that you're at that point in the process where you're looking for representation -- congratulations on finishing your book or your proposal! The first thing you'll want to do is to find books that resemble yours, and find out who agented them -- you can often do this by blah blah blah etc etc etc...")

But god, could you please spare my carpal tunnel and go find the information yourself? It's out there in spades; there are whole books about it! Smarter people with more experience wrote them! They can help you much more than I can!

I know this sounds cunty; I swear, I am nice. And I will help you, if I can, in any way I can. I read everything everyone sends me, whether I've ever met them or not, no matter how full my inbox may be, and I do my best to reply with positive encouragement. After you've done your Googling and read your books and written your query, I'll be happy to take a look at it and make suggestions. But god, meet a girl halfway, will you? Or I'm going to write back and say, "I kind of want to make s'mores. Can you tell me step by step how this is done?"
(((((((Girlbomb))))))) No, you are not a cunt for feeling this way. Far from it! It sounds like they're expecting you to know some secret handshake that needs to be passed along between writers that will get them into the club. But unfortunately for them, it's very much a matter of good ol' fashioned (and unglamorous) hard work and determination. And talent, of course.

I enjoy reading Neil Gaiman's blog & it seems that he is always answering this sort of questioning. I'm sure he got tired of it eons ago. I feel as though I can hear his eyes rolling from thousands of miles away! But like you, he remembers what it's like to start out and he does his best to answer those questions in a kind & informative manner. He also has a FAQ section on his website. Maybe you could creat one yourself. Or maybe you could even direct people to Neil's site. I especially like his response to "How does one get published?".
eek. i'm always a bit intimidated by 800000 responses to one little question. guess i figure i'll get better info from someone who has actually been there rather than trying to guess what works and what doesn't and screwing up like crazy myself.
i don't think you're nasty for not wanting to answer that question a thousand times. i get asked the same stupid sewing crap all the time too. it's tough not knowing how to do something yourself and having no idea where to start.
just sayin'.
Roseviolet, thanks for that link to Neil Gaiman's FAQ! I love what he says, and how he says it. And pepper, you're right, I didn't think about how overwhelming it must be to wade through all the information out there -- I made my share of mistakes in the process of trying to get published, even with all the help of the internet. But when I have no idea where to start something, I usually start with Google. Then I graduate to people. That may just be my own insecurities, or a desire to not look dumb, but it stands me in pretty good stead most of the time.

I shouldn't kvetch; I should be grateful that I'm in a position to answer the question with some authority, and prepare a standard response that I copy and paste. Except the question's always a little bit different. And often it has an undertone of, "Hook me up with your agent/publisher/editor, yo; I want the same deal you got so give it to me." Dude, even if I wanted to -- and there are some people I would LOVE to hook up with book deals -- that's just not how it works.

Since writing this post this morning, I got another a MySpace message from some guy I've never met asking me how to make money off comedy writing. I responded politely, and, I hope, helpfully. Because I like good karma! And I hope that karma's not negated by the fact that I came over here to bitch about what a lunkhead he is for MySpacing someone he doesn't know to waste their time with a question he could have researched himself.

Another cob: People at my writer's room who poo in the one small bathroom with a line of people waiting for it, and don't spray after themselves, so we all have to smell it. We even have a non-aerosol alternative, for those who object to chemicals! P.U.
Fucking hell. Housecleaning on a Saturday is really no fun at all. How did it get to be Saturday night already and I'm at home alphabetizing my CDs?! I feel like I haven't made a dent in anything. Way to go, because I'm a big winnah!

at least you got stuff done, raisin. the sense of accomplishment has to feel good, no?

i've gotten ZERO SQUAT NADA productive done today. i feel like a huge procrastinating slug.

girlbomb, you're a better man than i. i'd just ignore. especially grubby, lazyass strangers.

cob: my mother is sitting over at her house, 5 blocks away, with no power. i invited her over. she did her usual hemming and hawing ... "what am i gonna do, just sit?" um, yeah. why the fuck not? i'm not doing anything other than internet-surfing and watching the storm outside. it's not like she'd be interrupting anything vital. but no, because she feels she'd be imposing. and she doesn't want to burden anyone.

and now it's getting dark and the phones are out (not that she'd charged her cell beforehand, of course. of it if was charged, she wouldn't have it actually ON or anything useful like that) and i'm worried and feeling guilty that she's sitting over there alone in the dark like a pauper, but goddamn it, why should i have to get dressed and get in my car in all this rain and wind just to go check on her, and then probably have to sit with her, in the fucking dark, when she can just as well get in her car and come over here. fuck. the woman's martyr complex drives me mad sometimes.
OMG, woman, I hear you on the martyr complex. Certain relatives are like that in my family as well. I feel like saying, "You know what? The fact that you're being a stubborn ass is more of an imposition than anything else!" Christ almighty. That's usually the situation. Like, I wouldn't have OFFERED if I thought you would be IMPOSING! I mean, really. Why the hell doesn't she get in her car and come over?

Sense of accomplishment is yet to be determined. I did jack shit this morning and felt awful about it, tried to cure it with a lot of coffee. Couldn't even enjoy the lazing around because of the colossal mess. I will be happy once it's all done, but there's no magical fairy wand to wave over the disaster area. I guess more than anything I'm pissed off at myself for letting it get to this level where I have to do something about it. Now I'm making myself sound like a packrat. I swear it's not that bad; I just can't stand the clutter.

But really, I just want to eat brownies and watch Degrassi High reruns.

ETA: GB, that's really gross about the bathroom. Sheesh.
cob: oh for mercy sake. my friend and i had plans for today which she kept pushing back further and further, fine. then she says she called and got my machine after the first ring, which means i'm on the phone so i must be here, right? then she says she came up and knocked but there was no answer. so she left! why not leave a message? as soon as i hung up from my call i would have seen that there was one and picked it up. and this apartment is way too small for the door to not be heard from every room even with music on. did she knock with her ponytail? gah, i was in the house for HOURS waiting for her, stuck in here on a sunny day with my grouchy kid. waiting. for someone who had already left a long time ago. wtf. pissed me off.

and now i'm pissy because the house is a mess and i have to clean it without the benefit of having had an enjoyable day out with friends. cleaning on the weekend does suck.

girlbomb, i'm glad you bitched. makes me feel better about telling people to (nicely) piss off and look somewhere else when they ask me the same silly question about sewing in a zipper for what seems like the thousandth time. whatever, it is annoying. i keep the name of a good book for that junk on hand.
Guess what! I'm a high school science teacher in a small Baptist/conservative/fuckwit district right outside Houston. Last week a girl came to me and asked if I would sponsor a Gay/Straight Alliance there. Of course I said YES! But when I talked to my department head she told me my contract would not be renewed if I did that (even if I went to the principal and said I would be willing to do it) and, among other things, the problem is that the school district embraces an abstinence-only policy (because as we all know, GSAs are Let's-all-have-sex types of clubs) AND that we would have to have a "heterosexual" club (not that we have to have a Jewish club to counter the Youth for Christ, but whatever).

And another teacher, when I pointed out that gay teens were so much more likely to be suicidal and depressed, she said "well, did you ever think that maybe they're so depressed because they know they're doing something wrong?"

OH! I understand now. How logical.
Jesus Effing Christ, Aquagirl. I don't know how you stand it there. Fucking fuckwit Bible belt. Do they need to be reminded that Jesus "hung out," so to speak, with Mary Magdalene and all the other "undesirables" of society?

What are you going to tell the poor student? Other than "move to another school district," that is.
Well, I already talked to her and gave her the excuse that only teachers with 3-year contracts could sponsor new clubs (bullshit). I feel like a loser. But I just can't take the heat, I can't do it. I get so stressed out even with the normal about of school problems, and if I get in even a tiny amount of trouble I'm bummed for days, and I just am not able to do this.
That's a rough situation to be in, between wanting to support the students and not, you know, lose your job in the process. Ugh. Who knows, maybe there's a very small silver lining here, in that word could get out among the students who are in the know that at least you're not anti-gay, you know? And that they could come to you informally and talk about stuff. I don't know.
Cha-ching! Rack 'em up, baby. One more to add to my ignore list. So, how much of a donation are we making to Planned Parenthood, NARAL, GLAAD, and everyone else for each post?
Aquagirl, maybe you should get in touch with PFLAG. Perhaps they could offer advice on getting the group approved. I imagine some of their branches have had to jump over similar hurdles in the past. One of the main reasons why these organizations are introduced in communities is to help cut back on bullying, harassment, and physical abuse. Certainly they'd be for a club that was working towards stopping such violence and hatred in our schools, yes? If nothing else, you can tell them that, if they allow events sponsored by the Boy Scouts of America (which do not allow gays to join), they should also allow this group.
Eh?? Shut up, whatever. Anyway, rose, (et al), thanks for the kind words. I know legally I do have a leg to stand on, which just makes me feel worse that I'm just ducking out. I just don't have the stomach to do this. Even if I don't want to continue at this school, it's my first teaching job and a good recommendation is crucial for my next job.

One thing my department head said that I do agree with is that I have to remember I know the kids in my classes the best, and that is where I have the most influence. It is not so bad to just focus on them (and say gay-friendly things in class :> )
Deleted for others misunderstanding.
Ohh, aqua, I know how you feel, teaching in a conservative area myself. It's so frustrating, especially for non-tenured teachers. I just take the opportunities whenever I can to discuss tolerance and open-mindedness, and hope that at least one kid is listening and will try to make a difference with his/her peers. We take a few minutes every period and discuss love and acceptance in all forms, more when I hear a student use a sexual orientation slur. I hope it's making a difference.
Why do people need to be forgiven by a god they don't even necessarily believe in because they are gay or giving blowjobs or getting high? Seriously; I'm not trying to be a bitch here but why would that help? I suppose maybe from an inclusive, "we're all in this together!" mentality, but I could see being really offended if a teacher in a public (?) school told my class that their god forgives everyone. I would approach it from a more humanistic standpoint, since not everyone believes in god. Something about everyone being human and different and similar in many ways, so we should all have understanding and respect for one another, but leave god out of it.
Lucizoe, I meant my post in full and complete sarcasm, hence my "take with a full salt shaker" disclaimer - implication being that to get how I meant it may take more than just a grain of salt. I was trying to be funny/caustic, and I was worried about it being offensive, and it has. Sorry it came off that way to you.

Deleting it now.
What the fuck?
God, how do I ignore people???

Now I want to know what Tallgirl said. I missed it!

Luci, I wouldn't worry about me saying things like "God forgives us all." Haha, last year there was a rebel kid who liked to say things like "I'm an ATHEIST!" and you could tell that this had shocked and horrified plenty of teachers in the past. When he said it to me, I just kind of looked at him and said "Um, you're trying that on the wrong teacher, Jacob."
name='bunnyb' date='Sep 4 2006, 12:23 PM']
my controls-options-manage ignored users-enter asshat's name.

or, view his profile, click on profle options which will bring drop-down list and click ignore user.

it's bliss!

Hey, y'all - I already apologized to tallgirl via pm, so I'm just stopping here to say sorry for the further derailment due to misunderstanding, and sorry for the potential troll-baiting

cob- that I don't have a magic man sitting on my shoulder explaining the various subtleties of rhetoric to me

eta - I'm totally not looking, but I bet the post above me has something to do with the magical fact that there IS a magic man on my shoulder and all I have to do is open my heart to Jaysus ™! to see him.

Yawnaroo, y'all
cob: Supposed 'Christians' that do not even come close to following the teachings of Christ (love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, helping the least of those, etc) yet feel compelled to spew their hate to the rest of us. Jesus never taught hate, prejudice, etc. He taught to live with others, not judge them, and to help out those that needed it. The Catholic Church, along with the countless denominations of protestants have twisted and perverted the teachings of Christ to the point that they really aren't his true teachings at all, and I'm really getting sick of listening to the hypocrites tell me and others how to live my life. I think it goes something like He who is without sin, cast the first stone.

cob: Stupid drivers that just have to pull out in front of me, making me slam on my brakes, and then refusing to drive more than 10 mph UNDER the speed limit. Especially nice when there is not a car in sight behind me. Even better when I'm on my motorcycle.
That's so cool! I know how to use the ignore function!!! Thanks, Rose!
cob: emotionally stunted, codependent, melodramatic, psychic vampires

cob: people who think it is okay to just walk in MY effing bedroom because I didn't answer their knock, when they know full well I am in there. I'm a grown, 33 year old woman, why in the hell would it ever be okay to just walk in my room?? asshat!

Major fucking cob: When my female friend, an otherwise intelligent, rational, well-educated girl, starts spouting her shit about "fucking feminists, they're so full of shit, they're all so middle class and educated and they don't take any else's experiences into account". She actually likes to repeatedly dredge up the old "all heterosexual sex is rape", apparently as a means of showing feminism is totaly backward, out of touch with reality, and just basically bollocks. I've just had to endure yet another rant of hers about this, even though I have tried many times to explain to her that I am quite proud to call myself a feminist, and all it means to me is equality for women - ie, equal pay, reproductive rights, higher rates of conviction for domestic violence and/or sex crimes against women, and maybe, just maybe, not being judged solely on what we look like rather than what we do. All tenants she would wholeheartedly agree with. But yet, I'm the one whose full of shit because I call myself a feminist. Anyone else have this problem? It makes me so fucking angry I could scream...and I'm gonna..... ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!
*raises hand* Welcome to my world. And yes, I"ve tried explaining my beliefs, what I think feminism is, yet I still get all feminists are man/baby haters. They think that equality is a good thing, reproductive rights are a good thing, yet apparently these have nothing to do with feminism. blink.gif

It feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. sad.gif
i'd like to hear the argument for "all hetero sex is rape."

anna k
i'd like to hear the argument for "all hetero sex is rape."


It was a misquote from Catharine MacKinnon that has also been attached to Andrea Dworkin.

More info here.

Pointybird, I have had that problem in the past. I've tried a lot of different means of making the speaker aware of the idiocy of what they're saying (especially because it's usually a woman who is saying it). Usually it's some variation of: "Are you enjoying your education? How do you like having your own money? How are you enjoying your sexuality? Are you making plans for your future that revolve around your self-fulfilment as a human being?" etc. etc. etc., and when she says, "well, yeah..." I usually say, "Then you better thank quite a few feminists for making all of that possible for you. Otherwise you'd be married to the first guy you fucked, bearing kids whether you wanted to or not, and thinking of nothing more demanding of your potential than changing diapers, cleaning toilets, and getting dinner ready and asking for some money to buy lipstick. And there would not be a damned thing you could do about it, either."

A lot of times it has something to do with age and development. There are definitely some young women who don't have much self-esteem and still wish to curry the favour of men their own age at any cost. You know, "be one of the guys". If men are intimidated by feminism, and say so, then those confidence-lacking women will always make a big display about how they hate feminism too. You could always ask them if they've actually read anything written by a feminist, just to spice things up. Like, you could ask your particular friend where that idea about "all sex being rape" comes from--who's the author, what's the source, and could she explain the concept being conveyed in the statement in detail. Nope? So, she's just parrotting what someone else thinks it means, without actually having gone out to read about the concept in detail? And admitting it now? This might make her question whether or not she's got a mind of her own...which is the whole point.

Sometimes, a very clearly placed simple question also makes a stunning impact. When someone says, "I'm not a feminist, but...." I sometimes ask, "Why not? What's wrong with you?" It does have the excellent bonus effect of ending the conversation, so you can take it in a less ridiculous direction by talking about something else entirely. It's often best not to argue with someone who has trouble with the concept of feminism anyway. People have to figure it out for themselves. If it's a woman you're hearing this from, believe me: the day will come when she'll swallow her senseless words about feminism, and figures out all those women may have had some damn good points.
Thanks Chacha, it's good to know how other Busties deal with this issue. It pains me because I love this girl to death, and I know that she's smart and open-minded when it comes to any other important issue. I've tried explaining that there is a whole other side to feminist theory that she isn't aware of (or more to the point, that she refuses to even entertain!), but she basically doesn't seem to want to hear it. It is in turns frustrating, depressing and infuriating. If she doesn't want to call heself a feminist, fine, but I really wish she would stop demeaning the whole concept when she knows how important it is to me.
maybe it will work if you just look her straight in the eyes and say the last sentence of what you just said to us?

I hate that situation. I usually start with equal pay or equal work and the vote, and just say that any decent person believes in those things whether they admit they're feminist or not. The whole argment that some minority view somehow represents all of feminism is so ludicrous.

You're welcome PointyBird, but I'm still really frustrated by this. I can't believe how many women have to hear this from people they know and think of as friends, too. Hell, I have this friend who's a man--older than me, really great guy almost all around...really supportive and one of the biggest champions for me that I know...but damn him if he doesn't shut up about how he hates feminism around me. Thing is, he doesn't act like he does...but he somehow needs to say that to me even though I've reminded him often that I am a feminist, and I'm never going to change on that issue.

I wonder why it is that your friend seems to want to repeatedly make that point to you, too. Sometimes I wonder if people like that are envious or just frustrated or they feel like they don't like that aspect of themselves, so they criticise it when they see it in other people. Wish I could be more kind about the issue when it comes up, but sometimes it really does feel good to "shake" people a bit and really make them think about what they're saying.

Hope you can resolve things--and maybe educate your friend a little bit! So it doesn't hurt so much to be with her in the future.
As an ex-smoker, I'm pretty good about practising "live and let live" when it comes to smokers. But WTF is up with people who smoke indoors, especially in summer when they can go on their balconies, and especially when they live in an older apartment building full of cracks and holes and things of that nature? God, it's disgusting! And it's been seeping into my apartment ever since those smokers took over the suite behind mine. The stale smell is much worse than the smell of fresh smoke - I can handle the smell of fresh smoke, at least. And the hallway always smells like a sleazy pub smells the next morning. It's so gross. Do people really not know how badly they stink, and stink up everything around them? I did. I always smoked on the balcony, even in the winter. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh!!!!! It's soooooo bad. Come on smokers, cut the rest of us some slack. It's not like we make you wear an open vial of our garlic-eating, post-workout, armpit, crotch, and foot sweat underneath your nose every moment of the day. YES, it's THAT DISGUSTING.
Ugh, doodle, I had neighbors who were like that once. I kept the window to my apartment open, burned incense, yet when I moved all my clothing and bedding smelled like smoke. I had to wash everything and what I couldn't wash, I hung it outside to air out. Are you able to discuss it with them or the landlord?
cob: people who don't clean up after their dogs! how is it fair that I have to avoid stepping in piles of your dogs crap while I am on my way from cleaning up after my dog. and we all get penalized for your irresponsibility.
People who use tragedy for their own political ends.
Pointybird, that sounds like pretty disrespectful behaviour from someone who is supposed to be your friend, whatever the subject. There's something wrong there, it seems to me.

Anyway, right now I'm in one of those "everything and everybody annoys me" moods. Except my dog, who isn't feeling well today. sad.gif
cob: my head hurts and I'm hungry and it makes me want to kill everyone, even those few who don't deserve it smile.gif
Cob: Strangers in public that for some reason feel entitled not just judge people solely based on appearence, but share thier veiws with you. At the grocery a little bit ago, the cashier started asking my husband all these questions about his ear piercings. She was so bluntly rude! She started off by asking if they hurt,no big deal, but she kept going on and on w/ these disgusted looks on her face all the while not ringing up our purchase, finally she asked him if he regreted them. That was it I went into bitch mode and told her off with a very cold and calm voice. I could tell she was a little shaken up so my hubby and I both felt better. People just expect you to stand there and take it while they tell they are repulsed by you. Eeeww you are that's so gross, you're going to burn in hell. mad.gif
QUOTE(ginger_kitty @ Sep 13 2006, 07:05 PM) *

Cob: People just expect you to stand there and take it while they tell they are repulsed by you. Eeeww you are that's so gross, you're going to burn in hell. mad.gif

good for you
i never have the balls
Cobs: I'm sick of being sick.

I'm sick of trying to figure out what the proper diet I should be eating is.

I'm sick of feeling like no matter how much I try to meet my body's needs halfway, my body resists.

I'm sick of feeling like I can't cope with having special dietary needs.

I am tired, despite the fact that I've been getting full nights of sleep. And this is making my state of mind (and my post) a lot more gloom 'n doom than my situation is.

Anti-Cob: But right now, I am enjoying a glass of wine, a little dark chocolate, and all the lounge I want, as I don't have anybody to answer to for the next three days.
ranty-cob: people who are scared of dogs. Ok, my dog. I know it's not thier fault. He is big, he does like to walk around with his mouth hanging open but he is fucking terrified by 99.9% of people. There is a goddamned reason why he's walking against the wall and against me, because he's fucking stronger than I am and he freaked out yesterday and almost pushed me in front of a car because of some kid in a pram shouting at him. Your kid screaming and hiding behind you and you stopping dead in the middle of the pavement is not helping you, her, me, or my dog. Especially when there are three men walking directly behind you who won't fucking get out of the way for some girl and her odd-looking dog. Forcing me and him to walk in the middle of the pavement next to your idiot daughter while she screams at him is not a good fucking idea, if you'd kept walking where you had been he would never have jumped like that and I would have been between him and her.
cob: if the dishwasher has clean dishes in it, PUT THEM AWAY! then put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher, instead of piling them in the sink. there is no clean kitchen fairy, and i do not exist to serve you.

related cob: there is no clean bathroom fairy, either. wipe your toothpaste out of the sink, clean up when you trim your facial hair, and i swear to god if you pee on the toilet one more time teenage nephew, i will rip your heart out.
anna k
I hate manuevering around people on the sidewalk who are busy on their cell phones or standing still in the middle of crowds.

I hate cars turning into the crosswalk almost every time I cross the street, and gunning their way to nearly run me down the second I move an inch out of their way.

Women who talk like immature teenage girls. I made it a point to stop saying "like" and "um" and to sound like a grown woman.

The computer in the student lounge is busted because somebody messed it up and it's been without Internet connection for almost a week. I don't know if they contacted the tech people, or assumed someone else would do it. I've contacted tech before to make sure it was done, and I hate feeling like if I don't do it, nobody else will.

Snotty twentysomethings full of ironic smirking kitsch. Like a party in NYC featuring a video of a 1980s public access show of awkward performers doing songs badly, and not on purpose. The reactions of smug little brats making fun of the "weirdos" makes me want to kick them hard.

i have been having so much trouble with this stupid ups shipping of my new wacom tablet--i got a notice that they'd stopped by on friday, but i'm out of the house 8am-7pm on the days they deliver, so i called the number and put in a request to have it dropped at the nearest pickup spot. the next day i tried to find said pickup spot, only to find a little bodega and some nondescript warehouses. nothing. thought i had the wrong address. called them back up, found another notice that said they'd tried to deliver it to my house (even tho i'd asked to have it left for pick up), and then finally spoke to an operator who said someone else had said the same thing about the pickup place not being there. gave me directions to it. i put in another request for drop off. next day, followed operator's directions to find NOTHING. nothing at all. went back to the original address (bodega + warehouses) and happened to see some ups trucks turning a corner. turned said corner into warehouse, where lady gave me roundabout directions on how to get to front door. went, waited for half an hour for them to pull my package, only to have them tell me it STILL hadn't been dropped off there yet. i put in ANOTHER (THIRD) request for it to be left for pick up, they told me to call back at 8:30 and it would be there. called about 10 times between 8:30 and 9. no answer. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
cob: why do people complain, complain, complain about trolls -not to mention feeding them- when we have a snazzy ignore function that works wonders? it's completely pointless, if he's annoying you then you have the means at your disposal to block him from your life so use it.
WORD, Bunny.
Pet peeve: ungrateful evil daughter of my boyfriend. And he thinks her peevish, selfish, tyrannical ways are cute.
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2016 Invision Power Services, Inc.