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anna k
It's OK, treehugger. I can understand when someone says it to be helpful or not to bother me, but other times I got the sense that a male visitor thought I couldn't carry it, like a guy who left his suitcase by the desk because he thought it was too heavy for me to carry, and it wasn't.

Besides, I read you once moved a refrigerator up or down stairs. I can't imagine what would be "kinda heavy" to you after that! smile.gif
LOL-that would've been my 286 pound antique pop machine. That took three of us-I can't take full credit for that!

To me, heavy enough to warrant a warning is anything over 45 pounds or so.
having the mother of all headcolds, which seems headed toward the flu....

...and I just got my period.


between the two of us we could have a ' fml' thread.
QUOTE(anna k @ Oct 18 2009, 06:18 PM) *
People who stand right behind me when I'm making a purchase. I stand several spaces away from someone making a purchase at a store, waiting patiently. When I go up there, I can see and feel someone right behind me, being too fucking anxious to to make their purchase and want me to get out. It pisses me off, I don't want strangers in my personal space if I can help it, and it makes me want to snap at them to back it up a few feet. It's rude and obnoxious.

Oh I haaaaaaate that. It's definitely a pet peeve of mine. Just because you're trying to crawl up my asshole doesn't mean the line is going to move any faster! I also hate it when those people act like it's a race to get their things on the belt. They make a big point of reaching around me to get the plastic divider so they can slam it down 2 millimeters behind my stuff (probably mad that I didn't already put the divider down for them) and then pile all their crap there, and then shuffle right behind me and breathe down my neck. Do they think that if they leave any room between us someone is going to sneak in and cut the line?

This is when I really enjoy having long hair. I turn my head really quick and whip them in the face with it.

I also can't stand getting rammed in the heels by a carriage or stroller. Or to be talked about loudly by someone with a kid. I don't know why people think it's okay to do this just because they have a kid. I was in the grocery store the other night and this little girl and her mom followed me down an entire aisle discussing my boots very loudly. I felt like I was expected to turn around and join their little question and answer session because as we all know, kids are just so totally awesome and cute and it's a privilege to be able to answer their stupid fucking questions.
I totally agree with people who ride my ass at the grocery store. Please, get the fuck out of my bubble of space.

I also hate it when people talk close, you step away to get your personal bubble back and they step in. Drives me freakin' NUTS.

people who say: I don't vote, it doesn't mean anything and doesnt matter anyway. It doesn't affect my life. Politics don't matter.

do you live in the world with other people? do you pay taxes? do you take the bus? IT AFFECTS YOU! idiots.

OMG pants! I totally agree with you on this! My ex used to say that ALL THE TIME. We had two elections while we were together and both times he didn't vote and didn't even care to look into it. Wouldn't take a half-an-hour just to look and see what the parties had to say about issues that DO MATTER. Aargh, I'm sorry, it just makes me so angry when anyone says that, and even more so that he was with me (I get kind of obsessed when it comes to political matters/election time) and didn't share my feelings. I mean, I know he doesn't have to like exactly what I like, but you know. In my next relationship my bf had better give a shit about what's going on in the world or it's not going to work, LOL.

I'm also with all of you and the personal space issue. I am a very non-space-sharing person. I hate when strangers stand to close to me; it really gets my back up.

My GIANT Cob: Two men in my office who CONSTANTLY walk by my desk. All day long. Baaaaack and forth. I don't know why! They really, really don't need to. They both have printers in their cubes so they don't need to use the main office one, and a lot of the time one of them is just going to the kitchen. It just annoys me. I don't know why; I know this seems irrational but it just bothers me. Cob-cob-cob.

Bah. I need the weekend. My job is making me insane this week. *Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....*
Cob: People who park close to you in an otherwise empty parking lot. ROAR.

Cob: People, who when driving, try to squeeze past a parked car while you are also going, the parked car is on their side, so they should wait. I ride the line for a reason, so you have to WAIT the .5 seconds it'll take me to drive. and don't give me the horn, because that makes me want to stop so you can't pass asshole.
cob: Guy in club asking me, after some very unimaginative compliment like "I like your style" what my name is. Hello? My name is not how you begin to work this, my name is a reward. For having already impressed me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but... I don't know this guy, I'm have no clue what he's on and who he's with, and he gets to shout my name across the parking lot in 10 minutes when I'm leaving? Just cuz a boy asked a girl? Um. No.
Maybe it's a cultural thing. But where I'm from, they only dare ask your name if you've obviously thrown them some bread. If there are signs.
I have, when I was new around these parts, felt it was rude not to answer, and given my name - only to feel this flush of anger and humiliation spill through me when I gave it (having to reapet/spell a slavic name over loud music doesn't help), but really, the appalling sense is as if this guy has just ordered me not to move and slipped a hand between my legs... [exaggerating x3]
Am I crazy? Feeling that knowing a person's name has this (almost mythological) power over them -- and while you can deny that power if they got your name from somewhere else, it is an unacknowledged (and subtle) act of submission to GIVE your name.
(yeah, yeah, AP, I know it's neurotic;)
So I have developed strats. Like, I tend to say something confusing and way over their head (degree of ice vs playfulness depending on guys' level of objective hot). Ranging from: "Let's pretend you didn't ask that and no one gets humiliated" to, if he's smokin, "Now you go over there and think of a better way to impress me so that I'll maybe want to hear you say my name after that?". Yeah, I'm obviously a sadist.
But come on. My name? Why has that gotta be an opening line in this country?

Confession: releasing my anger at the trend by having too much fun humiliating its followers. Hee.
I go to fucking Modells for a goddamn Yankee's shirt, and the only girly shirts they have say Jeter or Rodriguez. WHY DO THESE DOUCHEBAG STORES ASSUME THAT THE ONLY TWO PLAYERS GIRLS LIKE ARE THE "HOT" ONES?
cob: people or groups of people who feel the need to block isles, lanes, sidewalks, streets, i've got the song "move, bitch!" turned up to 20 inside my head. look, i know you think the world revolves around you, and your shit head group of dumbshit friends huddled around the parking meter trying desperately to figure it out, but MOVE! you do not need to take up the whole sidewalk.

also? next time i'm throwing elbows.
GT, I'm so with you on that one!!!
Seven, I've given out fake names when I don't want to deal with someone I don't feel attracted to. I've also done the whole icy stare/ignore thing too. Giving out my name feels too intimate, especially if I've only known the person for twenty seconds.
Re. people blocking the sidewalk; I have long thought that there should be a competence test for anyone who is going to meander around a busy city centre, alone or with pals and/or baby buggies, unfeasible amounts of shopping bags etc. People who like hanging out or chatting, either go to a cafe or stay in the suburbs. Either way stay out of my way because I've got things to do. /pedestrian rage

My cob: the two entitled brats hanging out in the laps lane at the pool. Not only were they chatting instead of swimming, they got all attitude-y with me when I asked them to go to the kids pool. You are not using the lane for its purpose, so keep out of the way of those who are. End of. Also, I could give a crap if they belong to the Special Swimming Club. I've been going to pools with my dad since I was 9 and the first thing we learned is stay out of the way of serious swimmers.

An angry man ran over when he heard me speaking to the brats. His entitled I'm Special rage met mine and he got the kids out, but did we glare at each other first. Not easy to do when you're in the water with a swim cap on.

I do think all this rage is bad for my karma. More swimming, less rage for me perhaps.
GT I am totally with you on that one! I especially hate people who block escalator entrances. It's like, wtf are you doing just move! And I say this as someone who has been to many different places and has been a tourist. When I am a tourist I do everything I can not to act like a tourist! This includes not stopping mid-step so that other people nearly trip over me, not standing in the middle of a sidewalk staring wide eyed at the scenery and not blocking the fucking escalators in public places! (malls, subway station, etc.)

I also hate it when there are two people who are walking together but who are standing just far apart that you can't walk between them but you also can't get around them either. Ugh, I guess this is what I get for living in a city with a bunch of tourists.
Cob; people who tell me I should smile more often. look, I'm staring at a computer screen or driving, I'm not going to have a big stupid grin on my face like I've just had a lobotomy.

oh yeah, culture. i walked by some guy, who complemented me, when i ignored him, he said, "you don't look that good." whatever, ass. i don't owe you a thank you, i didn't ask you for a complement.

cob:(white)people who love being politically incorrect, but are super sensitive when you mock something that they said. don't get all huffy, defensive and sensitive because you think i'm huffy, defensive and sensitive. you and your demographic don't get mocked, so yeah, i feel perfectly fine ripping you for some minority you slight. if you can't handle the heat, STFU. if i call you on your shit, you were called. honestly, i don't care if you are offensive, but be prepared to hear my crit, and acknowledge it. i don't owe you my silence, and i fully reserve the right to rain on your parade.
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Oct 24 2009, 05:24 PM) *
cob: people or groups of people who feel the need to block isles, lanes, sidewalks, streets, i've got the song "move, bitch!" turned up to 20 inside my head. look, i know you think the world revolves around you, and your shit head group of dumbshit friends huddled around the parking meter trying desperately to figure it out, but MOVE! you do not need to take up the whole sidewalk.

also? next time i'm throwing elbows.

Also one of my biggest peeves, and yeah, I do throw elbows. It might be the most satifying thing in the world.

I especially hate when a group of people is taking up the whole sidewalk in one direction, and you're approaching them in the other, and you have to glare them down just to get one of them to make room so you don't have to get run down or step out onto the road to avoid them. I don't step off the sidewalk though, I stick out my elbows and plow through them. I sent a snot-nosed 17-year-old spinning a little while ago and it was awesome!
cob: the stupid construction that has taken over the city! It's like the mayor woke up one day and thought, "Gee, a lot of roads and sidewalks need to be repaired and so do the water mains. I know, why don't we do them all at the SAME TIME!"
Not being able to rely on anything/one. Except disappointment. Disappointment is always there with bells on.
AP, this is why I rarely get my hopes up, I know myself and I know that things generally suck and my hopes are dashed.
The shitty committee in my head
Cob: My entire office. Everyone in it is pissing me off today.
Cob: This stupid phone that won't stop ringing.
Cob: My looming insanity.
Cob: Old men hitting on me at a Halloween party the other night. Really disgusting.
cob: the time change. ick. i was up at 5 this morning. it was dark out when i left work. i fell asleep in my chair when i got home. now i'm bouncing off the walls.
what aural, culture and des chat said. esp. what aural said. i always feel jealous of people who have deep relationships with dependable people then can count on. i let people less and less because i know sooner or later they will let me down when i ask for something small. i want to love my friends, i talk them up constantly, but honestly? i hate them. i hate new people i meet for seeming nice, because i know they will be just the same. i beat myself up constantly because i feel like i fucked up, like i'm deficient, and i never should have asked anything of them, in doing so i fucked everything up.
((((gt)))) some people are just assholes.
I have the same thing, gt. I feel people love me ( as in enjoy having someone edgy and unconventional around so they can tell their friends stories about me) when I'm strong and never need them. And the moment I need some help I feel like shit for asking. Like suddenly their holy idea of me collapses and they don't respect me any more... or that look they try to hide, the "well we aren't THAT close" look. Fuck you, I listened, filled your bowl with my kush, was up to open the door for you at 5 am when you forgot your key, carried your laptop from {{{edited out}}}... and now you make me feel like shit for asking for 5 minutes of your day?
But I don't know, it may be me, my shame issues with ever needing anything or imposing on people might be spilling on them and reflecting back at me. I do have huge i'm-taking-up-space ugly ducklin issues from my childhood that are just starting to clear up although I swanned up quite well.
And then I realized, I am kinda nicer than I have to be sometimes, it's like I'm paying "tax" for being allowed by my friends/ roomies to be unconventional and have a moral structure that is based on a completely different set of values and when I ask for help, for them it's like, a reassessing of the give-and-take, like, "but no, you carrying my laptop was paid for that time when I laughed when you said THAT instead of blanching and looking disgusted" goes through their head. Like the way I AM is already a favor they're doing me.


ETA: But also, I AM paranoid. I'm pretty sure these ARE my issues just being fed back to me by the mirror of the universe. Yeah. It's gotten much better lately. When I ask like I am worthy of help, I do get help and even manage to feel good about it. It's when I shrink and ask in shame that it makes them feel awkward instead of honored to help. Oh, life.
that's totally it, 7. it's different with busties, but with my friends irl? i've been everybody's shoulder to cry on, to bitch about every little thing, and i don't mind a bit. but the second i have a complaint? k, bye! that's shitty, but i gotta go. i'll call you right back....


i don't like to impose either, and i tend to be rather stoic, until i absolutely need to, and that's when they are quick to see the door.

and i feel the same about the edgy thing. look, i have a tranny friend! aren't i so open minded?!? hooray for me! yeah, whatever.
Werd, GT: I am a (bad at it) tranny in a woman's body to most people.
I said (to a movie character doing something unexpected-hot): "Ah, you're breaking my balls", while watching a movie stoned with 2 roomies. And then I heard one of them tell someone else visting the house about it.

And same way when I am deeply down I can't ask for help. I am like, you should be able to read my mind by now. You know me. If you can't read it on me, WTF is wrong with me thinking we're close? Yes, I demand people read my mind because honestly, i DO READ THEIRS. I can, and I do.

And with Busties, that's cool, you don't expect them to. You can't, it's text. So you have to ASK. I love that.

I love Busties so much! They're teaching me the other way. the easy way.

I'm just blown away. You people are so insightful-well, you've captured what I feel a lot of the time, that I NEVER would've been able to scrape my thoughts together well enough to express.

Yeah, I didn't express THAT very well either, didn't I? Heh. Oh, well.
People who drive 40 when the speed limit is 60. I don't care if it's rush hour, the roads are good, the rest of traffic is way ahead of you. Hurry the fuck up, Mofo.
QUOTE(rudderlesschild @ Nov 3 2009, 07:54 PM) *
On mind-reading... I definitely do that, too. I anticipate and provide. I pick up all the tiny little cues and stitch them together into astounding insights. I'm the CSI squad of the soul.

This is one of those things that I frequently *hate* about myself. I'm generally only surprised at how LONG it sometimes takes before the "body" is found. But I am always standing just behind the tape, ready to roll out.

And for me to need help? Half the time I feel like I need to be on fire for my IRL friends to pull their heads out of their own drama to help lil' ol' me. The other half I just slog through by myself with a big Bustie hand up.
Cob: My partner cannot plunge a toilet. A toilet that HE plugs up. WHen you stop up a toilet, you plunge the toilet. Goddamnit, it is not difficult. You don't leave the toilet to overflow on the next innocent, unsuspecting visitor to the communal potty room like some shit-filled booby trap. When I confront him about this, he claims he did not notice the toilet not flushing properly. I can be 3 rooms away and tell BY LISTENING if the toilet is flushing properly. I find his claim of toilet naivite somewhat suspect. It's not like I'm asking him to clean the toilet, just properly FLUSH THE FUCKING THING. I mean, a toilet that still has your shit floating in it is a pretty clear sign you need to TRY AGAIN.
Biggest Cob Ever In Life: It's snowing. On November 6th. In my province that usually doesn't get snow this early, it is snowing. And not just little, pretty flurries, it's balls-out snowing. BAH!

Remind me why I live in Canada again?
Hell, Rogue, the weather in Northern Ohio is almost as bad...yet we don't have health coverage or any other of the social advantages of Canada. Can I jump the border? I knit; I'll make everybody pretty handknit mittens and hats. Pretty, pretty please??
KW, I say jump away! I'm always down for homemade knitted goods! laugh.gif
Apparently it snowed close to my city but I didn't experience any of it. However, yesterday I got rained AND hailed on!
Speaking of cobs, ever since around 9-11-01, Canadian border patrol has stopped letting us Yanks into Canada. Good example: Our friend, Michael, a regular kind of professional working guy who had been to Canada countless times can no longer enter. Why? He had a DUI back in the 1980s! Border Patrol never cared before, but now suddenly every little arrest is seen as a big deal. We Ohio/Michigan folk love to go treking into Canada, but we've all been afraid to try since 9/11. It isn't a long drive, but still who wants to come all that way only to get turned back at the border? Rogue and CCgirl: Do you guys have any U.S. friends that have crossed the border lately? Has the paranoia settled down?
Koffee, it's not any kind of arrest being a big deal. It's a DUI specific thing with Canada. For some reason they feel that's the worst kind of person that can be visiting their country and endangering their safety (and they count driving on weed as well). I witnessed all that with a person with DUI I was traveling with, they need a formal reason - like their job requiring them to travel to Canada - and they need to get a temporary residence permit issued at the border that lets them stay up to 5 days, every time. You overstay, you're seriously on their bad side. And it's basically the border patrols' judgment call every time. It's a pain. But the big wrist slapping lasts 5 years after the DUI. And since your friend's was in the 80's, he can apply for rehabilitation where they take it off his record and the border patrol officially stop bothering him. I can ask for more detail but there are countless law offices dedicated to this very issue, mostly for touring musicians as a lot of them have DUIs here and there, and still end up playing in Canada.
Just wanted to clarify, they don't mess with just any rap sheet/ arrest history, DUI is their corn cob/ pet peeve.

ETA: AbleDanger, I meant DUI for smoking(my friend's case) vs serious felony stuff, which they let you come in with. But I can see the reasoning - it's statistically more likely someone will drink/smoke and drive again than commit a violent crime again? That was the doubt behind "for some reason". I stand corrected.
Thank you, seven. That explains a lot! I really want to visit Canada with my mate and kids, but have been afraid. MY police record is clean, but Mr. Koffee did prison time for drug possession. No other charges (like distribution, etc., just possession). However, it was possession of a huge long list of substances in bulk amounts. I fear the border patrol will probably deny us, but your input gives me the fortitude to atleast do a little research to see what may be possible for us.
QUOTE(sevenseconds @ Nov 6 2009, 01:49 PM) *
It's a DUI specific thing with Canada. For some reason they feel that's the worst kind of person that can be visiting their country and endangering their safety.

Hate to say it, but you know one person who's been killed by a drunk driver and you start not minding that they don't let people into your country who take those risks because, really, you've been caught once you've probably done it more. That being said, there's definitely the possibility of having a DUI being removed from your record and being able to come in.
koffee, I'm originally from Windsor, ON so I've had a lot of experience crossing the border and they give us a really hard time going into the U.S. It's not all the time but some of them are total jerks and make you feel like a criminal. I've had my car pulled over and searched three times since 9/11! And then the way they question you it's like they want you to slip up and it really does make me feel like somehow I have done something wrong.

One of the dumbest situations was when I was crossing the border with a friend to see Scissor Sisters and the guy acted like there was someone else besides just me and my friend in the car. He kept asking who was going to the concert ("um, me and her") and asking who was in the car ("um, me and her!").

I can understand them pulling over and even denying entry to people with a criminal record but it pisses me off that I've been pulled over for telling them that I am going shopping or going to a concert or going to Mexicantown (awesome place in Detroit). Why the hell else would I go to Michigan?
Heehee. That's crazy, CCgirl. It must take a special personality type to be on border patrol. My boyfriend claims his car has been searched each and every time he's been to Canada (including all the times he was a little kid riding with his suburban WASP whitebread parents in their expensive immaculate car).

AbleD: Agreed on drinking and's just that my friends's one DUI was nearly 20 years old. Does anyone know how those laws currently work? It used to be DUIs were separate from DWI...any amount of alcohol could possibly yield an "under the influence claim" while "driving while intoxicated" had to be the .10 (now it's .08, right)??
Anyway, I HATE drunk drivers.

Of course, I also hate cops. Once a cop pulled me over on a random check. I had nothing to drink but a literal "taste" of my BF's drink to see if I liked it. I BEGGED the cop to let me blow in the breathalizer. THe little sip I tasted had been hours ago, I knew I was 100% clean. THe cop claimed that it was {"not possible" to allow me to blow. She made me do the whole "walk the line" test which I passed with flying colors. She still made me feel (like CCgirl had mentioned) like I had done something wrong.

Huge cob: Cops and border patrol.
It isn't just the Canadian border patrol, the Americans can be a huge pain in the ass as well. I've gotten my car searched several times passing into Canada and once at a checkpoint in Arizona. It seems like if you have any business being near either border they don't like you.

Cob: Being on antibiotics that make me nauseous and tired. Right now the only thing I can eat is cereal, everything else affects my stomach in a negative way.
cob: laziness from professionals.
I have to say, it's interesting to hear things from the other side of the border. A lot of times when we try to cross into the U.S. it seems like they are pulling over all the Canadians and treating us all like criminals and then when we go back to Canada it seems like they don't pull any Americans over. There's always this feeling that the Americans are really uptight and overzealous ever since 9/11 but I guess it goes both ways.

cob: the dumb fuck on the streetcar who was obviously stoned and tried to push the doors open (they don't open unless you are at a designated stop and you step down onto the steps) just so that he could throw his empty cup out onto the road. The doors ended up getting stuck and causing some weird alarm to go off. What a dumb fuck.
I can understand Canadians being a little suspicious of us crazy Yanks; we have 10,000 handgun homicides every year. But Canadians? You all are waaaaaaaay more civil. I am a little surprised BP is so weirded out about Canadians... FOr the record, our own border patrol freaks out on us when we return to the US from Canada. We must have drugs and dead bodies in the trunk at the very least if we traveled to such a sordid place as Toronto, I guess. Who can possibly ever understand how patrol officers think?
As someone who now lives in Toronto I find that all the more hilarious! Okay, yeah there's a lot of crime here but I still feel that it doesn't compare to the States. Every time I go to Detroit it's like "Lock the doors! Hide your purse! Try to look like you don't have any money and nothing worth stealing at all!" Seriously, I won't even take my iPod across the border. Gee, now who looks like the crazy paranoid one?

As for coming back into Canada there was one time that they made me pull my car over but then they didn't even search it. I have no idea what that was about.

And finally, if another border patrol officer asks me a stupid question like "Who else is in the car with you?" I will be very tempted to say "Oh, just some Mexicans in the trunk."
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