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Even if/because she made me laugh and hurt my sutures. Anniversaries are so tough. It doesn't seem like two years to me either.

Just back from the lactation consultant. Little notbob is now not quite so little. He'd dropped from 7lb 5 to 6/12, which was normal, then again to 6/6, which wasn't. W/ formula he's up to 6/12 again. Phew!

And she basically agreed it sounded I might be one of those very rare people who can't make milk. With all the pumping, fluid drinking, suckling. herb supplements, I've been doing I've actually had less and less milk, not more. This morning at last pump it was virtually nil.

She was very supportive (and gave me a big hug when I started sobbing again) and said it's completely up to me what I want to do. The plan is to start bottle feeding (we've been doing a finger feeding technique per recommendations) and I think it's time I gave up trying to pump. If I had the least bit of encouragement--or even if it was staying the same miniscule amount--I'd keep it up and at least give him that in addition to what he needs from the bottle. At least for a while. But basically I"m down to nothing.

I'm so, so sad about this. So disappointed. She rightly said that it may be I need to go through a grieving process about this, but also said a lot of encouraging things about what's most important in life, etc. Like you guys have said. It really does help hearing this--a little more each time.

So I should be sleeping, but I needed to say this and acknowledge it "out loud" in some way. Mom and mister have been so, so wonderful about this, too.

I always knew you people were so, so important and valuable in my life. Now I know it even more. The support in just the last couple of days=invaluable.

Thanks from the bottom of my heart. (I"m allowed to resort to cliche here, aren't I?)
{{{{{{anoussh}}}}}} I'm fond of saying "just because it's a cliche doesn't mean it's not true." (Ungrammatical of me, perhaps, but there you go.)

I think TallGirl would step in to tell you if she'd had a second (but this week has been insane for her and she's on her way to visit me!), so maybe she won't mind if I share a bit. She tried to BF TallKid when he was a Bean, and was physically able, but a hand-in-hand circular effect (difficulties and prior depression) led to a bout of PPD. She and her doctor decided that the Bean and TG both would be healthier if he bottle-fed, and it was true.

Also - PlumMom was 17 when she had me, and did not have anyone to tell her the right way to BF, nor the knowledge to ask for she ended up with mastitis and horrible pain, and she told me it broke her heart, but she had to stop.

But, fast-forward: OK, so I'm a bit of a nutbar, but I'm overall a healthy, upstanding citizen...and TallKid, now just over 2, is strong and bright and amazing. Like everyone else has said, it's very much about the kind of mama you are. Showering him with love? Check. Concerned you're doing the right thing? Check. Trying hard to do the very best you can? Check. Love and support for you?


And finally, something I told TG a lot in those first few months: it is the mamas who worry the most that they're not doing the right things...that are the most likely to work hard at doing the right things.

I'm really glad you had a nice talk with the lac helps, from my understanding, when they know what they're doing and how to treat you. And I'm glad your mom and the mister are being supportive.

I feel like I'm repeating what everybody else said, but here's more {{{{big gentle hugs for you}}}} and >>>little forehead kisses<<< for your little man. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

Also, {{{{{everyone}}}}}.

Woo hoo TallVisit tomorrow!!!!!
dear all: i will no longer mention a word about the unmentionables. my abject apologies, i didn't realize how obnoxious i was being. i am truly sorry, i did not mean to offend. sad.gif
Please vibe me if you have it in your heart, Kvetchies. wub.gif

I woke up this morning at 5:30 sans alarm clock and before I knew what was happening, I said out loud, "I'm ready."

So I've got my national exam today. It's the biggest day thus far of my professional life -- one step of many, to be sure, but the biggest one I've had in a while. I may get into specifics later on LJ if it's actually up and running and if I'm so inclined.

I'm a tiny bit nervous, but I'm determined not to let the nerves affect my performance. I've worked my ass off to get to this point and I'll be damned if I let a few butterflies get in the way. Not happening. I'm actually really excited knowing that the day has finally come, and I still want to kick up the badass factor a few more notches on the drive over there.

I choose to pass, damn it! With
flying colors!

It's too bad I won't know the results for sure for another couple of months.

All right, bags are packed, nails are trimmed, coffee has been consumed, and Mary J. has been listened to. I'm outta here! Much love for Kvetchies.
(((((raisin)))))) **!**!**!**!**!**!**kick-ass good luck vibes**!**!**!**!**!**!**
Best wishes Raisin. You'll kick ass!!

Tes, if you don't mention my unmentionables, who will? No apologies needed.

This morning started out great (not). My tomcat, with more energy than he needs, knocked my cell phone off the dresser and into the next life. Just now, the garage door opener hit the floor. Grrrrrrr. I love him dearly, but he's living on the edge this morning.
((Raisin)) You do kick ass!

Kvetch: My damn job. Not only are they bitching about my work performance (on my first week back!) but criticizing every thing I eat. I finally yelled at my supervisor: You are NOT my doctor! That shut her up, but I had to apologize. Still job searching.

Kvetch: The apartment that I wanted is taken. Boo! sad.gif

Anti-kvetch: I'm making moussaka for the boy tonight. smile.gif

Anti-kvetch: My kick ass new electric blanket!
tesao, i was joking. how could you take that seriously? i especially thought my description of icky male undies was quite comical. but, i guess it was only funny in my head. that's what i get for not adding a biggrin.gif or two.

sincere apologies. sad.gif

(((annoush))) i had a whole post set for you, because reading what you wrote made me tear up. but i think i'll save it for a PM. best i stay out of here for a while. too many eggshells i'm afraid of stepping on.
~*~*~anoushh~*~*~ what plummie said!

Tes, I'm laughing with you, not at you, but I think it's hilarious that you thought Mando was being serious!

I have a throat infection. I thought it was strep, but I had a culture done at the dr. yesterday and it was negative for strep, but with all my other symptoms he said it's probably something else. I'm on antibiotics for a few days. I had to leave work at 11am yesterday for the appointment, and it was only me and my sometimes-bitchy coworker in the department. I thought she was going to be pissed off that I was leaving her, but she seemed fine. Anyway, I came home after the appointment and slept for three hours, then went to bed at a reasonable time (usually a 3 hour nap would have kept me up much later) and still slept for eight and a half hours. Guess I was/am really sick! I feel better today- just feels like a cold, my throat doesn't hurt anymore.

(((rose, mando, sassy, amilita, billy, mornington, bunny, stargazer, sybarite, six, auralpoison, lucizoe- congrats!- pixie and anyone I missed!!)))

~!*~!*~!*~!*~ vibes of all kinds for Raisin ~!*~!*~!*~

((((((much love for Sidecar))))))

((((anoushh)))) Your consultant sounds wonderful; I'm so glad she was there to give you advice and perspective. And I agree with what others here have said, especially txplummie. Fwiw, most Irish people I know weren't breastfed, as back in the day (i.e. 30 years ago) it was considered a bit sinful. Go figure. And my Irish friends are hale, hearty and smart as whips.

(((Sidecar))) I PM'd you.

Good luck raisin!!! Nothing like a little Mary J to get you going and out the door with the right 'tude.

(((mando))) and (((tesao))); I love seeing posts from both of you.

Happy Saturday all!
thanks for the love everyone; this year, it's feeling easier. Or at least today it is. I think what still gets me was how young he was. Martini said, "He'd be 23, right?" and then we realized that no, he wouldn't be that old yet. Meh. I feel closer to me than I thought I ever would be after it happened, but I know some things are forever changed, and that's hard to deal with sometimes.

good luck raisin!
(((anoushh))) you consultant sounds great. and you never have to apologize in here. certainly not for making wise decisions for yourself and your family.

Sophie got to go to the vet today as she's had some digestive troubles. Overnight, we were up taking her outside every two hours. I'm so proud of her for knowing that she needed to wake us up to take her out so she didn't go in the house, but I'm also very sleepy. She got a water shot and an antibiotic. She probably just had a virus. The level of worry I experienced was further proof I'm not ready to be a parent.

(((sidecar))) I know it won't by any means make it better but watch some veronica marshmallow.

good luck raisin!

mandolyn, get your arse back in here stat.



Thanks so much for all the encouragement and support. I'm definitely greiving this loss of breastfeeding, and it will take some time. I choke up every time I think of it, like now. Thinking things like I go through life developing early, having these big, often inconvenient and embarrassing breasts, and now I can't even feed my baby with them?

But I know what plummie said so well is right, and I've read it and other posts over and over again and it helps a bit more each time. Really.

(Mandolyn, I'd welcome that PM. And I never thought you said formula babies were satanic--rather that you were addressing fears like mine that I was irreparably damaging my baby by formula feeding. And I don't know how anyone could breastfeed after a c-section. Kudos to anyone who even tries, and if they don't, I'd totally understand. And you know by now how I feel about breastfeeding.)

In some good news, not- bob had his first poo! We were worried b/c nothing snce Sunday when he last passed some meconium, but now he's starting to really soak his diaper and now he's poo'd twice! Phew. All systems now go, I think.

And now I feel comfortable letting him sleep as long as he wants as we don't have to make sure he eats every two hours to get him to start gaining.

Will weigh him again monday.

In the meantime, I think I may be developing a yeast infection. I so don't need this, so "no crotch-bakery vibes welcome!"
(((anoushh))) you are a great mama! you've been very proactive in trying to breastfeed. congrats on notbob's first poo! if all of our poo could be cute as we got older. oh, and i hope you have no crotch-bakery stuff happening...

mand0~get back in here pronto! and keep singing the bon jovi songs for me...

tes~keep up with the underwear talk!

(((raisin))) kick ass!

(((polly))) yes, m'dear. you are sick! get plenty of rest. i was out for awhile when i was sick.

(((bunnyb))) congrats on getting out! bunny suicides? hhmm, i'll have to check it out when i return to work.

(((much love to all of my kvetchies)))

i'm off to watch boogie nights.
((anoushh)) Yeasties go away. Your son is lucky to have such a good mom, you can tell you love him very much.

((sidecar)) Supportive thoughts.

((sophie)) Hope she feels better.

((polly)) Feel better, a throat ache is such a pain.

((sassy)) Job and apartment luck to you.

((raisin)) Good luck.

((luci)) Congrats on getting married.

Thanks to all the ((Busties)) for being supportive on my move back to Florida. It’s been nice being back, but I’ve been a little bored not working. I start work on Monday, and I can’t wait.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.
Drive by...

Mcgeek and I drove by my hopefully new apartment last night. It's in a great area of town, near a shopping district (kroger, target, many restaurants, etc), and about 5-10 from the train station. Also, it's 750 a month for two bedrooms with some utilities included. In that part of Atlanta, you can't beat that. I'm going to go look at it next Sunday.

Kvetch: Boy hated mousakka. I know that I should not take this as a jib at me, but it still hurt. And, I'm getting a little sick of all his anal/OCD quirks.
I keep telling myself that we are new, but this little jibs here and there are beginning to add up. And, the sex went back to being shitty. sad.gif
Drive by ...

Happy Bonfire Night to the UK Kvetchies!
have just checked with dad and he approves, so....

Ara James

Official nicknames:
not-bob (any spelling variation acceptable)
Vilkas/Vilkie (there's a story here, but no time now)

Bonfire night was little not-bob's due date!
Hey kvetchies! ((((everyone))))

((((((anoushh & not-bob, errr I mean Ara James!)))))

congrats to mrs. & mr. luci!

~~~~feel better vibes for anyone who needs 'em~~~~

((((mandiluv))))) This move was just what the doc ordered! Ohhh man do I heart the new digs. Seriously, I love, love, l luff the new place! It's much nicer than the old one, although it's quite a bit smaller. It has lots of little upgraded fixtures and new carpet and my stuff just looks nicer in it. The location is also WAY better. The manager saved the nicest one for me, hee hee. And when we did the walk-thru of the old one he was astounded by how clean it was. He said "Wow, you did a good job in here kiddo, have you ever cleaned for a living?" which had me in stitches. He said it looked like he already had the cleaning crew in there which I must give credit to those magic eraser sponges. I am so not the better homes and gardens girl, but those magic eraser thingies really cleaned up the boys areas so well. He was so impressed that he waived the standard $60 cleaning, carpet shampooing & nail hole repairs fees amd just transferred my entire deposit over. Sashie and PJ love it too, but poor PJ got this nasty ass cold thats going around here like wildfire. This was by far the most difficult move, EVAH. I don't know why moving to the next building was so much harder but it was! I have sore muscles I didn't even know existed, and all of us hurt our backs at one point or another, but we did it! Now I have to finish unpacking. But I must say that it already feels more like home than the other place did. I guess I really am not the roomate type wink.gif

kvetch: the bakery hath opened up shop, urrrgh! and my stupid arm hurts more than ever. feh on stupid insurance enrollment dates, eeevil bastids!
p.s. sorry for the self absorbed post. be back to read all the way through and post properly soon!

Just having a quick look at M's "insurance" he's soon to be eligible for at his new job.

We need to fill out forms asap.

If I'm reading it right it would cost $261 for M and baby per month, $339 for the three of us per month.

That's bad enough, but it appears to have a $3500 deductable before they pay ANYTHING.

So essentially we'd be paying that money for nothing but catastrophe insurance.

Yes, health care in America is SOOOO much better than the NHS.

I think if I ever hear anyone saying anything like this ever again I will punch them. Hard.

I know I"m all hormonal and emotional now, but I"m ready to cry.

My dad's looking over it for me to see if my interpretation is right (I don't trust myself right now.) In the meantime I'm going to try to sleep for a bit.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Indigo just caught Pete. there seems to be no major damage other than a bleeding toe for Pete (plus the shock of jaws dragging him about) but fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck how could I have been so fucking stupid as to let this happen. I'm such a fucking idiot, Indigo's shown know interest in Pete so I thought he was safe and now Pete's fucking bleeding and Indigo is terrified of me as I told him off. fuck fucketty fuck fuck.

edit: pete's eating. this is a good sign. jesus on a stick that scared me.
I'm sleep deprived so can't think of the words, but YIKES--terrifying!

Glad for a bit of good news. I hope things are ok. You aren't stupid--anyone could have done that. You've had him a while and you based it on the evidence you had.
Anoushh, the health care premiums seem reasonable to me. Being outside a group, I pay $450 a month for married couple coverage and a $10,000 deductible. I could easily die without reaching my deductible. Of course, Texas ranks as one of the worst in the country for health care premiums, along with the quality of our education, teen pregnancy rates, STD rates and so on. It's the price one pays to be a Red State these days.

Busties, I beg of you, vote on Tuesday. I've seen governments come and go and *never* have I seen such a fucked up mess as we have now.

Mornington, take good care of Pete and Indigo.
A big reason for which I've decided not to pursue a strictly freelance career right now is that I only pay $88/month in premiums for the two of us. If we went back to Martini's insurance, it would be $470 in premiums, plus a deductible, and if we went on our own, it would only be slightly less expensive. I know I'm really lucky, but it's sad that that's what health care has come to in this country. Throw the bums out on Tuesday! \m/

(((mornington))) anyone would've made the same mistake. as long as no one's seriously hurt, it's okay.
I don't think "reasonable" is the word.

It's an annual deductable, with lots of other deductables on top of it like $100 per ER visit, etc. And it's a huge chunk of his monthly pay.

I don't care if others are worse, etc.

It's fucking appalling.

I may kill anyone who ever criticizes a national healthcare service. Why aren't Americans out in the streets over this? Why do we persist in believing we have the world's best healthcare.

(Recent study showed that UK spending per capita on healthcare is half of US, with the US having worse health. Gosh, what a surprise.)
gah. I think I freaked out slightly. Pete's fine, if a bit grumpy.

((((anoushh)))) that seems a lot to me! and yay for notbob pooing (the welshman read that over my shoulder and couldn't stop laughing) I like Ara James.
(((yuefie))) yay yay yay! for new digs. and ****go away bakery****
(((bunny))) how were the scissor sisters?
((((sassy)))) silly boy. doesn't he know better than to shut up and eat good food? *^*^*^*^*fingers crossed for the apartment*^*^*^*^*
((((polly)))) get better soon!
((((mando)))) I laughed at your description petal!
(((sidecar & sophie))) arrowroot is great for upset tummies... or at least the hound's
(((dm))) how was the first day?
(((billy, syb, rose, pixie, stargazer, tes, mrs & mr luci, sixie, txplum, msp, walkingb, everyone)))

Bonfire night was... well, it was like a war zone outside. Indigo didn't seem to bad, but I had given him some rescue remedy. I'm not a big fireworks fan (and I'm so glad mama wasn't here as she hates fireworks and flinches at every one)

I'm debating between eating and then taking a nap, or taking a nap and then eating. decisions decisions.

sleep then eat, cos you could eat then sleep then wake up hungry. I need to go eat too and not nap.

scissor sisters are tonight - squee! (oh the boy asked last week what was with the squee thing that had entered my vocabulary and I promptly blamed mornington.)

(((indigo and pete))) they better kiss and make up.


yay for first poop and lovely name, not-bob!

*~*~*~*close the bakery vibes for the yeasty kvetchies~*~*~*~*

~vitC~vitC~vitC~no flu vibes for PJ~vitC~vitC~vitC~

the boy's housemate R phoned last night as we were falling asleep: she had flat tyre on motorway. boy told her to call AA or RAC and then she said that someone had pulled up behind her and she needed to go. he phoned back 5 mins later and it had been police but they didn't fit new tyre and left her and it was going to cost £95 to call someone out so boy said he'd go find her. I went with as there was no way I wasn't. Anyway, she was just before junction near the house and we eventually found her after going in different direction, coming off motorway and going back on twice after we passed her on other side. anyway boy fitted tyre and we were back in bed before 1am although boy was up for work at 6.30am. he was cross but I don't know how to change tyre either and tis scary breaking down on motorway, she phoned her ex but he lives hour and a half away and of the four boys in the house she phoned mine which is nice. anyway, that was my excitement last night.

*delurking and shiftily coming from OKAYland*

Annoush- i've said this before, but I am convinced the first 2 weeks home with a wee one are just miserable. You, and the Mr. and the wee barin seem to be doing as great as anyone could expect. I know you had great ideas about how to care for him, we all do- but your willingness to let them go and to follow what the bebe needs just shows how great a mom you are. With moxette, we've had nothing but wonderful experiences bottlefeeding- i'm one of the c-section types...-but i honestly don't think i could have bonded more with her on my boob as cuddling her while she eats from a baba. Her dad agrees. I "know" no one is supposed to extoll any virtue to formula feeding, but i'd be willing to stick my neck out on that one, if you want some positives.


ps- hi everyone!
(((Anoushh))), I am told by my (head office in the US) union that health care is *less* expensive for manufacturers in Canada (economies of scale), that in the US it costs more in health-care benefits to make a car than it does to buy the steel, but Canadian politicians seem hell-bent on privatizing it and introducing an American-style system.

(((Bunnyb))), changing a tire is not difficult, maybe boy could teach you and housemate? My brother insisted on teaching me, er, a long time ago, and I am very grateful.

(((Indigo, Pete and Mornington)))

(((Yuefie's move)))

A pox on the smarmy little shit who was working the poll when I voted last night. Don't condescend me, you repellent toad, casting a ballot is not rocket science, voting is and its my right. I have a mind to complain to city hall.
(((Kvetchies))) I just wanted to say hi to my favorite people. Everyone at my house has a upper respiratory thing goign on, so I have nothing interesting to say or ad, but I justed to let everyone know that I miss them and I am still vibeing.
Extra love for ((((((((Sidecar)))))))) today.

Anoushh, I'm glad to hear you're getting so much support on the bottle-feeding. I'm really sorry about the health insurance mess, though.

Bunny, sorry about the loss of sleep, but I am sooooo envious of you seeing Scissor Sisters!

((((Mornington & Pete & Indigo)))) I hope things are better today.

And I hope all the UK busties sleep well tonight to make up for last night!

((((Yuefie & PJ)))))

~~~~~ soothing vibes for the Pixies, PJ, and all other sickies out there ~~~~~

Yesterday I saw a play that brought back a flood of memories about the killings of two friends. So pardon me for not being terribly chipper.

Kvetch: I have a very sore throat & can't really talk today.
I was let go from my job today.

I kind of expected it. I'm okay, but I'm not ready to talk about it.

I'm taking it as a "when a door is closed, a window is opened" opportunity, but I'm not sure what I'm going to yet.


I was let go from mine 2 weeks ago, too. It really sucks because I loved that job, but at the same time I was drowning in school stuff, so it was probably for the best.

It'll all work out.
(((polly))) I'm so sorry, that must have been a shock, expected or not. It *is* an opportunity though; try to stay calm and think about what you want to do next. Starting tomorrow, of course; tonight you might want to blow off some steam. I know I would.

((faerie)) Not easy even if it's for the best.

((mornington, pete and indigo)) Hope everyone's recovered. Hopefully they have the measure of each other now and can get closer to playing nice?

Ongoing thoughts for (((sidecar))).

No bonfire night here which is fine with me; we had enough 15 year olds letting off fireworks on halloween.

Anoushh, that sucks about your insurance and I totally hear you on the US's crapness in this regard!

Dusty, do report the little git. Someone like that shouldn't be working with the voting public.

It's getting busy busy with me, which is good but, y'know, pressured. Still, I have evil plans tonight involving green n' black's and organic peanut butter...
Thanks, Sybarite!

Special love for (((Sidecar))).

(((Polly))) and (((Faerietails))). The problem with those new doors is that you're usually too busy reeling from the one slamming on your ass to get a good look ahead.
Hmm, maybe I should call Williams-Sonoma, where I worked during the holidays last year. It was about this time that they hired me, so I wonder if they have any holiday positions left open.

I've already called the staffing agency that I got this job through back in August, and updated my resume, since I worked at this place for nearly 3 months. I don't know how long it will take me to find something through them, so maybe working at W-S in the interim wouldn't be a bad idea. I'll think about it. Thanks for the hugs, everyone!
(((((polly)))))) I'm so sorry. You seem to be taking this really well. Good luck with whatever your next step is.

Thanks for the love everyone; I'm doing okay. As it were, I woke up in the middle of the night with cramps and threw up, then slept fitfully. It wasn't a bad day to be sick. i think I'm better off at home with my stomach cramps and psyche than I would be at work anyway. Martini was gracious enough to stay home with me. We're going to watch some movies (and we've been hanging out and watching tv, and I took a nap) and continue the hanging out. I talked for a long time with my mom last night and none of us can believe it was two years ago. It seems like a million years and yesterday at the same time. I'm lucky to have the life that I have, and this day is a reminder of that. Anything can change in an instant.
$!~$~$~$~$$~$$~job vibes~~$~$~$~$~$~$

((polly)) That sucks! I hope you find something else soon!

mornington, are Pete and Indigo getting along better?

(((Bunny))) Just cause!

Yuefie, I saw your blog about the new sounds much better!

((Rose))I'm sorry you are reliving bad memories.

(((sidecar, dusty, Tes, faeritails, sybrite, and everyone else)))
((((polly)))) that sucks. but you sound positive and that's good

Indigo wishes to lick all of you. he just kissed the screen.

((((sidecar)))) thinking of you lovekin.
(((pixie))) how's the house of flu? tongue.gif
(((syb))) G&B do whaaaat? *drools*
((((rose)))) acos
(((dusty))) what a knob.
(((faeritails, mando, bunny, yuefie, PJ, raisin where are youuuuu, billy, tes, dm, everyone and expecially those who are voting for anyone except asshat-in-chief)))

Indigo has taken to standing on the bed. And the sofa. And he's pottering around now looking for mischief to cause. Pete's fine, he thumps at the dog whenever he comes in the room. I think

I have an exam tomorrow. revision-smision. I rely on bustie-vibes™! biggrin.gif It doesn't count for anything and I'm curious to see how I'll do without really working; I've been listening to my tapes and reading a bit.

right, bedtime and dog feeding. I went to the petshop today to stock up.
*mwah* to all the ((((kvetchies))))
((((((Sidecar)))))) I'm glad that you and Martini have eachother today.

((((Polly)))) That sucks. I hope the agency finds something for you. Working at Williams-Sonoma would be too much temptation for me!
((((Faerietails, too))))

~~~~ the Pixie Family ~~~~


~!~!~!~!~ fabulous testing vibes for Mornington ~!~!~!~!~

I hope Bunny is having fun at the concert. It's bound to be fabulous! I've been singing "I Don't Feel Like Dancin" in my head all day and realizing that it is impossible to stay in a bad mood when that song is on.

Syb, that sounds like a fab idea.

((((((all and sundry))))))
(((polly))) sorry to hear about the job. but, it sounds like you are being really active to find something in the meantime.

(((faerietails))) good luck with the job search too.

(((sidecar))) it must've been nice to spend time at home with martini.

(((pixie, mornington, dusty, sybarite, mandolyn, prettyinpink, sassgrrl, rose, and other kvetchies)))

today started out kinda rough for me. alittle panic, but i got through it. i have to remind myself to take things one day at a time.

kvetch: i can't watch anymore election coverage.
antikvetch: i'm almost done with my internship applications.
((anoushh)) We do need a national healthcare system with an option of private coverage for those that feel they need it. I know you pay for it in taxes and everything, but at least people don’t feel like they have to stay at a job just for the healthcare benefits.

((mornington)) I’m glad Pete is doing well, and he and Indigo will play together well soon. Good luck on your exam.

((bunny)) Enjoy the concert.

((dusty)) Boo to condescending poll workers.

((rose)) Feel better.

((polly)) I’m sorry to hear about your job. You should call Williams-Sonoma.

((faerie)) Sorry to hear about your job as well.

(((sidecar)) Glad Martini could stay with you today, and you got to speak with your mom.

((syb, pixie, yuefie, mando, sassy, pip, star))

Today was my first day back at work at my old job, and it was really nice. I found out one of my coworkers is pregnant, and another is about to have her baby any day now. Everyone was very nice, and it was good to see them. The only bad thing is I dropped my lunch on the floor, so I couldn’t eat it. Mr. DM had an interview at the Gap today, so he’s already had two interviews since we’ve been back. I’m being very supportive of him because I know he really wants a job soon.

((Democrats please take control of the House and Senate, Jim Davis please win the governor race in Florida)) smile.gif
Kvetch: My job sucks. My supervisor had me in her office 8 times today, bitching and moaning about what a horrid employee I was. And, the fact that she is suprised that I was allowed back. I started crying (luckily not in her office). So trying to find a new job like NOW. Good job vibes for all the busties who need them!

Bunny, enjoy the concert. smile.gif "Don't feel like dancin" is now on my Myspace page....

Mornington, good luck on your exam! And glad Pete is doing better. And, you're right about the boy. I just don't think he knows what good food is.

I am so with DM for wanting the Democrats to take control of both House and Senate. Taylor please beat Sonny Perdue's arse in Georgia, and please do not rain a lot tomorrow!! sad.gif

Stargazer, that's great about the applications. smile.gif

((annoush, dusty, rose, polly, syb, pixie, yuefie, mando, sidecar, and anyone else that needs a hug!))

((Sassy)) that sucks- makes me glad they just fired me, and didn't put me through that shit.
I wish they would just fire me. Get it the fuck over with, y'now? I doubt I can even use them as a good reference anyways. At least at my last job (which was also shitty, but in a different way), I got a glowing reccomendation letter.

It's kind of weird to not have to get up and go to work tomorrow. This is the first time in over 5 years I haven't had a job. I'm going to try not to get into a "sleep till noon" pattern, but I don't want to get up too early. Let's say 9:30. Sounds good to me. I just can't let myself fall into a depression, like the one that hit me in college and got me booted out. I already feel it creeping back in (before today, even) and I don't want it to happen again. What a time to lose health insurance- guess no therapy for me!

I emailed a good friend from my old insurance company and said, "Remember how I gave you a copy of my resume before I left? Could you know of any openings anywhere?" She has a lot of connections, many of them with NPO's.

Not sure what I'll do tomorrow- get all those housecleaning projects I've been putting off done? Do laundry at my parent's? Drive out to ye old mall and go to W-S? Problem is, I don't want to make a commitment with them, and then have to schedule interviews and dump them when I (hopefully) find a new job.

BGP left me a cute message while I was taking a nap this afternoon- "Do you guys want to come over for dinner tonight? We don't have to talk about stuff that happened today if you don't want to." I had already put a pot roast in the crock pot this morning (which turned out deliciously), so when she called back, we declined, but maybe we'll go there later this week- scoring free meals is going to become a survival tool rolleyes.gif

((Sidecar)) Hope you made it through this difficult day.
popping in surreptitiously during my lunch hour.....

let's see how much ground i can cover in one breath

*inhales deeply*

boooooooooooooooo for joblessness for polly and faerietails (polly, so glad that pot roast rocked your tastebuds! and faerie, maybe it was the universe telling you to concentrate on studies?)

double boo and a HISS, too for that beyotch that called sassy in EIGHT frelling times to complain! this woman needs a management training, like last year! that is downright unprofessional! gadzooks!

!!!!!!!! begone!!!!!! all sore throats (rosiev!) and upper respiratory things (the pixie family!)

((((((mornington)))))) dinnae fash yerself!!! who knew that indigo -- a greyhound! -- would do that? i'm sure it was a mistake, somehow! and not on your part! (tell indigo that i licked him back!)

bunny b, how appropriate is it that i am
GREEN WITH ENVY that you got to see the scissor sisters??? how was it??? tell ALL!!

DM -- YAY!!! for good first days back on GOOD jobs!! all of the busties deserve good jobs. harrumph!! you hear that, oh PTB???? send GOOD jobs to polly and sassy -- and to Mr. DM while you are at it!! especially since DM is being all supportive!

VOTING: did you know that you could do an absentee ballot even when it ISN'T a presidential election??? HUZZAH!!! i did NOT vote for any asshats!!! let's hope, mr. bonka, and everyone else who is out there, that we get some SANITY back and actually VOTE FOR someone for a change. what a concept. someone who is actually elected. that might actually do some good. sometimes i think that shrub is dead, and they have some patsy who had plastic surgery to look like him and just go around saying the same old things. interestingly enough, the local news re shrub is NOT positive. just think, there are people in AFRICA watching you all and cheering you on (well, besides me, that is)!!

which leads me to tell you, dusty, that you SHOULD report that stupid get! there is no call for that sort of behavior. and people who act that way SHOULD be called on the carpet about it. not to mention made to feel exactly as brainless and low class as they are. BAH! on him!

(((((((sidecar))))))) i know i'm late. but i'm still thinking of you especially, sending you all of the beautiful clear blue sky vibes that i have here today. and calming breezes blowing warmly yet refreshingly off of the indian ocean. i'm very glad that martini was with you.

anousshka!! i adore the name Ara James! it trips off of the tongue! so HIP HIP HUZZAH for you and not-bob!!

the pitiful (lack thereof) health care in the usa is shameful. we can spend billions of dollars to kill people in a country that never asked us to visit, and in the process, kill us citizens, but we cant have a health care system that the entire country can use. cry shame!

right. not sure if my lunch time is over yet, or if i have forgotten anyone (who am i kidding? of COURSE i have forgotten HALF of the people here, if not more!!!) but maybe......i should go do some work. or maybe not. it is SO beautiful, i may take part of the day off!)
very apt, tes! I would have been greener than normal if I hadn't been! the concert was fabulous, darlings! just the absolute right amount of camp and lots and lots of fun. Ana Matronic should so be a BUSTie! she is wonderful and eloquent and did I say wonderful? *gushes* "I don't feel like dancing" is a majorly smile inducing song and it had the roof (of an uber sized M.E.N.) off and everyone danced crazily (was like being in a huge club); that was their encore then they finished up with "Filthy Gorgeous" which was an amazing finale and another highlight halfway through was their cover of "Comfortably Numb". They spoke about the shrub and the election too; any US band I've seen has been so vehemently anti-Bush, always good to hear.

anyway, I'm home now after leaving a jar of peanut butter in the station by mistake so went to by some more once back in Glasgow and the organic one has a third free smile.gif. No G&B, however, I wonder what concoction that is, is it in the cookbook syb? I also have a sense something is wrong here (Mandoo well, though, which is huge relief as was concerned all weekend). I'm attuned to picking up when something is wrong and my mum randomly text me yesterday to ask when I'd be home, phoned when I was in train to say that she couldn't collect me -even though I wasn't expecting her to- as she had to collect T's nephew from airport which sends alarm bells ringing... maybe my imagination is in overdrive.

(((polly))), (((faerietails))), (((sassy))), (((mr dm))) and their job hunting.

(((sidecar))) thoughts are still with you.

(((rose))), (((stargazer))), (((PJ))) and (((pixie)))) and anyone else poorly or out of sorts.

(((mornington)))) how'd the exam go?

pixie, any photos of the sugarglider yet?

(((yuefie))) hope you've recovered from the move!

(((tes, mando, fina, anoushh, desinermedusa, dusty, billy, sixelacat, funnybird, sybarite, sapphy, txplumwine, anyone I'm missing)))
((all the busties))) I can't do individual vibes right now but I have read everything and am thinking of you especially those with job flux and mourning.

I made phone calls on behalf of a dem. this weekend and it was weird - some people were enthused, some were voting for the other candidate, and a bunch were like "stop calling me!" I guess the robocalls have sort of poisoned the pool....
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