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Thanks for all the vibage about my almost-grandma. The wake was yesterday and the funeral is today; it's really hard to not be with my family and to have the ritual mourning events to help with closure, ya know? I wrote a little eulogy and told my mom someone could read it if they felt like it but no one had to.

I wish I could explain what made her so great...mostly it was her positive outlook. Even as she aged and her eyesight failed and walking got more difficult and a stroke took away most of her sense of taste...she adapted so gracefully and rarely complained. And so many people loved her...her home health lady continued to come 3 times a week for months with no pay after she left the company, just because she liked her so much.

It is really a lesson to me about positive energy and drawing people to you and conducting your life with kindness and grace and love. I really need to incorporate some of that.

((rosev)) Everyone has said everything I could think of, but I feel ya. It'll get better.

Welcome back, mornington!

Glad you're feeling better, mando.


I agree that first swear words are important...mine was "piss." As in, "Oh, piss!" Last time I saw my two year old neice, my brother was on the cell phone, and she was pretending to be on the cell phone, too...and then hung it up and said "God bless it!" She must have seen the Mr. and I laughing, because she did it a few more times after that.

Oh, and speaking of my neice, mom said she walked into the wake and asked, "Is this heaven?"

How's the car, quantum? I'm selling my old hoopdie today! Selling it to a friend for cheap, but I hope it does good for them...and that their expectations aren't too high.

Hi to everyone!
when my brother was a toddler my mom left him with her younger brother for the afternoon, when she came home my brother was standng on the counter eating peanut butter out of the jar and uncle k had taught him to say "shit damn and fuck are adult words." thus began my brother's liflong love affair with curse words.

cousin oliver the kitten broke a bottle of jamesons in the kitchen today so my flat smells like a frat house, minus the puke.

and now the whole reason i came in there, just wanted to reinforce the good advice given to rose about moving someplace new. it is hard, and i does take time, but it is totally worth it. honestly, almost two years after the fact london is only just starting to feel like home, but we're making really good friends and finding a life here for ourselves. hell even moving to chicago took a solid year to get used to and that was only a couple hundred miles from my friends and family. you just have to fight through the melancholy, and while that is not often an easy thing to do it is always worth it.
yuefie, your puppers is the cutest thing ever. thanks for posting!

and msp, i've often thought the same thing about 'no pants'. my brother got my dog a santa suit for x-mas, it's ADORABLE on him --i took some shots in the snow i think i'm going to use them in my x-mas card this year.


(((raisin))) sorry you'll be around less sad.gif

(((mandi))) so you hate jersey. humph! i was in traffic hell this weekend too, but wildwood was fun. in general i try to avoid the major highways in joisee. and in wildwood the 'scary haunted house ride' was called 'jersey junkyard' and came complete with an animate bum puking. seriouly, i wish i could make this shit up.

(((rose))) so sorry the move is hard for you! at least you have shef though and i can honestly say from experience that it does get better. it took a little while but when i moved 500 miles away from home and didn't know a soul i eventually made friends and started really finding my way around and liking the area. i agree everyone and think that you should try giving it a little time.

polly, when you talked to jill was it directly about the landscaping job? If not I'd ask her directly if it had been filled just to be on the safe side. you could even mention that another job offer came in and you wanted to weigh your options, maybe that would light a fire under their ass.

~*~*housing woes by gone for for pollyfriends*~*~


(((pixie family and pixiedog))) so sad...


i accidentally taught my neice to call someone a "butt licking fool!" luckily no one knows it came from me. ooops!

i had a great time in wildwood, i have a bit of a sunburn, the jeep's air conditioning wasn't working, and i got a ticket that i didn't deserve (i took a picture of the money in the meter, I hope that helps), plus a ding in my windshield that i'm hoping doesn't spread so that sucked but otherwise it was great. we lounged by teh pool and beach and enjoyed pina colads in our hotel's "cabana lounge". taking the top off the jeep to cruise at night was awesome too.

and the good news is that the mr. can now officially drive himself to work! thank gawd! plus he'll be able to help me on my 10 hour drive back from ohio!

ugh. the food around my work is nasty and now i feel ill. i also have to do this big project my boss just dumped on my lap and i've got only 3 hours to get it done. double ugh!

psst, mandi can you give my "men" a call and get them to houseclean!?!
kvetchies, for your viewing pleasure... Fluffy McFluffBum. Or Pete, whichever you prefer. Daphne stands accused of being an utter tart; they adore each other and it's really quite distractingly cute.


(((surly))) aw, kittin! (my house smells of hay... it's worrying)

(((mando))) *salutes* yes ma'am.

(((pixie))) o.m.g. ohmy.gif now that sounds like some fun for mrpixie.

(((crassy))) woo for mrmcnasty being able to drive!

when I was at boarding school, we spent an entire prep session teaching the librarian's kid to say "fuck off, bitch"... he was about two, and the silly woman should have known better than to let him anywhere near a bunch of exam-stressed thirteen year olds. we were evil, though.

Right, I'm off on a yuefie-hunt... and to make Pete a myspace. (((everyone)))
[overwhelmed by the pure cuteness of Fluffy McFluffBum]
Send that bunny to Cute Overload! STAT!

Mornington, he is just too cute for words! Are you going to eventually have lots of little fluffies, or have you taken care of that?

*waves at Roseviolet*
oh, taken care of. They're both rescue bunnies, and it's standard procedure. I don't want baby fluffies.
Mornington! I'm glad you're back. I missed you around here, and OH my word that new bun is toooooo cute! Is Pete going to have his own page too? Cause if he is, you better add me!


Thanks crassy, she is quite a spoiled rotten beast. I blame it on my mother, hehe. She really was grandma's dog though. My mom used to make me drop her off at her house while I went to work, which is why I think she has the worst seperation anxiety now, poor pampered poochie.

(((Bunny))), darling, I am glad everything is okay now. I am sure the boy can't wait to get back to love on you in person too.

Crazyoldcatlady, come out of the shadows and post more! Kvetch is a great place to hang out smile.gif

Kvetch: I woke up today with a really red irritated eye, all crusty and icky too. I think I have pink eye sad.gif Much love, hugs and vibes to everyone. I am off to rinse this color off my head, had to hide those damned pesky greys and all the blonde that keeps cropping up. Yup, I've got a multi-colored head o' frizz.

psst, yuefie... check your myspace. Pete is indeed there.
I love Pete! but not as much as my boy. Later x
((((((((Amilita & family)))))))) Your almost-grandma sounds like a truly wonderful lady. I'm sorry you've lost her, but glad that you had the benefit of knowing her for so long.

Surly! So good to see you in here! It's so strange to think of you being in London that long. It feels like you left just a year ago.

((((((Car)))))) I hope she got through her first day back at work. Think she might find more time to hang out with us?

Speaking of first days, I hope Raisin enjoyed her time at the new job.

~~~~~~ soothing for Yuefie ~~~~~~ That's so strange about your eye because my dad just got pink eye! How is your gut feeling?

((((((oodles of love for Bunny )))))) You are wonderful. You know that, don't you? Because it's true!

Crassy, I hope you got that project done! ~~~~ pina colada flavored vibes for you ~~~~

((((((((love for all of you)))))))))
Thanks, guys, for the sweet wishes. Way to make a Bustie feel special! I'm going to miss checking in here during the week, so I might have to pull a Tesao and go back to posting on the weekends. But oh good Maude, today was mentally... uh... taxing. I guess it's par for the course, but I just felt rusty and inexperienced and stupid. My friend who's training me said at the end of the day all solemn-like, "I'm proud of you, Raisin." All I could think was, well, gee, at least someone is proud of me because it sure ain't me! I was actually kind of ashamed at how poorly I did (my work is pretty much performance-based, to describe it in a general sense, but there's a whoooooole lot of prep work that goes into that performance, and that's what I'm working on for the foreseeable future), but it can only get better from here and I really need to stop being so effing hard on myself and just DO THE WORK AND SHADDUP ALREADY.

/end self-absorbtion.

Sooo.... vibes for children who don't swear, cars that work, craft fairs and learning how to knit, boo on doctors who chastize you for not seeing them, new lunch dates, the memory of almost-grandmother, Cousin Oliver the alkie, pina coladas (with cabana boys, perchance?!), awww RESCUE BUNNIES FINDING THEIR FOREVER HOMES (congrats, Mornington! My boy bunny would want to shag him, this I know.), pinkeye staying away from Yuefie...

Oh, Amilita, I'll have some Wellfleet news for you tomorrow via PM.

I deleted my MySpace profile several months ago, but then put it back because I wanted to keep up with stuff going on music-wise. Der! Stupid move, because it's another thing that can suck up my free time. So I reinstated my profile, but almost all my "friends" are still rock stars. cool.gif I'm just not ready to go back to posting or reading regularly on LJ, so have no fear, MandoMyHeart, I'd rather stay here.

Oops, I got a few phone calls while I was writing this to see how my first day went, so I'd better end it here. I'm pooped! And I get to do it again tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and so on and so forth. I'm still wrapping my head around that concept. Heh. blink.gif

Sending all of you virtual ice cream cones and hot fudge sundaes... drool... with a glass of cold water on the side...
Woohoo! I accepted the job at the American College of Chest Physicians! I gave my notice at work today and my last day is the 18th. Eek! 1am! I'll post more tomorrow!
Congrats polly!

Thanks (((rose))) wub.gif. You are all wonderful and I feel so lucky to be a part of this.

~*~*~*~weekend posting vibes for raisin~*~*~*~*

(((yuefie))) is pink eye the same as conjunctivitis or a stye? damp teabags placed on eye is good, soothing remedy.

crassy, glad you had a great weekend after the stress of late. Meant to say: loved the pina colada set! Sounds so cute.

So, I'm too lazy to read through the archives: can someone help me out and tell me which BUSTie is also looking forward to a birthday? Was it you Mando? I remember reading "my birthday month" - so when is it?

kvetch: headache.

Everything ok, I'm feeling bit fragile still but the boy and I are good.

mornington, those pics made my morning. oh so cute bun buns! (they almost look fake they're so heart exploding, eye bleedingly cute!)

(((yuefie & her eye))) what kind of mix is your pup? i want one!

(((raisin))) it's normal not to do awesome on the first day!!! in no time you'll be kicking ass and taking names!

polly!! congrats on the job! awesome!

i got my project done just in time. it sucks cause it was for the non-profit that is a subsidiary of our nonprofit-- i don't even work for them! and i had lots of work to do for the non-profit that i do work for and i only have today to do it cause i'm off tomorrow to ohio until sunday. plus i have to leave on time cause i've got a pedicure scheduled (yay, it's my 2nd pedi ever and i'm psyched)

and on the theme of bunnies --i plan on seeing tons of cute bun buns at the ohio state fair --i'm pumped! biggrin.gif
Yay, congrats to Polly!

(((amilita))) I echo what rosev said, glad you had a special lady like her in your world.

(((raisin))) don't be so hard on yourself darlin'!

(((mandi))) I'm with bunny and wanna know, when is the b-day? I am so not looking forward to my next one. I have the hardest time swallowing that I am almost 33. 33??? I swear I just turned 30 last week. Why does time fly so much now? I remember when I was a kid how everything seemingly dragged, it felt like an eternity between birthdays. Now they come up so fast my head spins.

(((crassy))) yay for pedi's and state fair bun-buns! Sashie is a dacshund/pug mix. I know most people don't see the pug in her but if you see her in person you can. She is super possessive and attention whoring like pugs are, haha. And she has to inspect *everything*, sniffing anywhere she can, and loves to burrow under the blankets, which are the dacshund traits.

(((mornington))) I have to tell you how much it delights me to have not only daphne, but now pete on my friends list. I agree with crassy, they are eye bleedingly cute! so that explains my eye troubles...

Yup, ((((bunny))), pink eye is conjunctivitis.

And I definetley have something going on. I had to take my sis to the airport at 4:30 am and I almost made her late because my freaking eye was stuck together! I had to use a hot wash cloth just to get it open. I stopped at Walgreens on the way back and got some homeopathic pink eye relief drops. they are supposed to help relieve the itchiness and the weepiness, both of which are pretty bad. I am supposed to have a sort of date tonight, but nuh uh, not with this vision of loveliness going on. ugh.

(((everyone))) vibes all around

Somehow I missed the eye problem yesterday. It should go away on it's own within a week. I used to get it all the time when I worked in a daycare.
I also hear you on the birthday. I'll be turning the big 30 this year.

((bunnyb)) I hope you and the boy are able to get back on solid ground.

Whoo hoo for Pollys new job!

Crassy, you need to come back more often!

I'm having an ok day here. I was almost late to work thanks to the ex asshat, but other than that nothing to kvetch about right now.
my fuckin' boss just asked me to do a fuckin' tour of our facilities --we have 4 locations!!! i now have to drop everything (including lunch!) to do it, and gawd knows when i'll be done or if i'll get a parking space when i get back (and i still have a shitload of stuff to do before i leave and i have to be at the salon at 7 so i have to leave at 6:20 at the latest!!!) in the words of tallbaby, "damnit!" (sorry tallgirl & radar!)
QUOTE(pixiedust @ Aug 5 2006, 08:12 PM) *

Good catch Polly, I forgot to mention 100% juice. We have a brand here called heartland orchard or something like that I use.

This has been a draining day! It is so frelling hot here, it's hard to breath. It's so hot that Minipixie's dog succumed to the heat. We don't know if she over turned her water and didn't get any or if she just drank some and the rest evaporated or what. We filled a big 5 gallon bowl just last night, but when we got home from grocery shopping tonight, it was empty and she was gone. Mr. Pixie is taking it pretty hard. I think we've decided to tell the minipixies that we gave her away. We've been through too much to add teh death of a pet, plus we have talked about finding a new home for her already because she knocks them down, so it won't come as a complete shock to the girls.

And it was my first official non anniversary from Mr. Dust. Strangely, I feel nothing when I consider that I got married 11 years ago. I'm in such a different place in life now it almost doesn't seem real.

~*~*~Housing vibes for Polly~*~*~*

~*~*~*Healing vibes for Mando~*~*

~*~*~soothign vibes for Rose~*~*~

~*~*~*multipurpose vibes for all~*~*~*~

My apologies to all of you in here for upsetting the balance here but this has got to be said and also pardon my barging in here to this thread after never having posted here before (I am a long time lurker). But whoa. I had to read this post several times to grasp that between all the banter about cranberry juice, "vibes" and official non anniversaries that there was a very offhanded announcement that a dog had needlessly died because it had "succumed to the heat" it was left out in. It just seems like a pretty flippant attitude to have towards ones pet DYING. Is nobody else here an animal lover? Did this not strike anyone else as crass? Or is everyone not speaking up for fear of another round of hissy fits? I can see that.
And Pixiedust, before you go off about this being one of your "stalkers", NO, I am not one of them. I do not know you from a hole in the wall, and frankly, quite glad I don't. I would not want to know anyone who can be so casual about an animals untimely demise. You seem to have so many problems around here. Have you ever stopped to examine why that may be? I'm just saying, maybe you should. And maybe you should take Mandolyns advice (although I am sure she meant in a very nice way because she is a very nice person) and stick to fish.

If you read the follow-up posts, you see that pixie's attitude toward the family dog dying was undoubetly not flippant. In fact, I don't read her initial post the way you do either - she spends more time talking about it than any other topic mentioned in her post...

But maybe what you're seeing that's missing from the post is pixie's assumption when writing the post is that we all know already she's good people that cares about her dog. Know what I mean? She knew she didn't have to go into her emotional state fully in her text, because we know already how upset she'd be.

And if you could refrain from sanctimoniously attacking people you "don't know from a hole in the wall", that would be swell. This isn't the place for it.

By the way, hi everyone!

Must re-post with vibeage, It's still early for me, and I need to review posts again...

*Praying that I haven't responded to a troll*
C.U.N.T., I'm sorry if you misunderstood Pixie's post. I'm certain that she did not mean to sound flippant. The truth is that she is quite broken-hearted about the loss of the dog. Her family has gone through a great deal over the past year and the loss of a pet certainly adds a great deal to that pain. As Pixie said, she and her husband had put 5 gallons of water out for the dog & they thought that would be enough, seeing as the dog only weighs about 30 pounds. I've seen their back yard and know that there is plenty of shade and shelter there. Sadly, something happened. It's a tragic event. It's not something that she wished to happen to the dog. She is already deeply hurt about the situation. Whether you like Pixie or not, I see no need for anyone to rub salt into the wound.

When I read Pixie's post, I saw a woman who had a truly hellish day. And despite this, she still took the time to give love and attention to others. It's a shame to hear that others may have interpreted it differently.

I have to admit .... I am incredibly upset by the puppy thing and that's why I've been limiting my time in here since I read that, because I haven't been able to think of a way to respond to it without being consumed by anger. Pixie, I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but I can't believe you would leave a puppy who you admit seemed weak out in 105 degree heat with just a bowl of water, no matter how many gallons, and even if it was an "outside" dog. This dog died because it was left out in heat it couldn't handle, and a dog can't tell you that.

I'm not sure that you recognize that this dog's death could have been prevented, and it wasn't the puppy's fault. And I am having a really, really hard time with that.
Argh I am so frustrated with myself. Work is just becoming so hard to buckle down and focus on. I know it's me, and I hate it. It makes me stress out over what should be very simple tasks. I just went to a nontraditional therapist who's going to help me work on my anxiety (I still have a regular dr for meds and such). Tomorrow she's "testing my meridians" which I think means a combination of accupuncture and electricity or something. I am excited to try to add nontraditional therapy to my anxiety issues, but also can't shake my wariness. I just don't have a lot of experience with it. She is a homeopath, a PhD in molecular biochemistry, a yoga therapist, a nutritionist, and a whole bunch of other things. Our initial meeting was good, if expensive. Anything to be a slightly more well-adjusted person, and to help my procrastination/emotional eating problems. Sigh. Kvetchity kvetch kvetch.

ETA: Sidecar, I am sorry you've been limiting your time in Kvetch. I hate the idea that only fluffy pink responses are allowed in kvetch. If something makes you upset you should be free to express it, and the same goes for everyone here. Sometimes kvetching is ornery smile.gif

Edited again to add -- the leering happy face is much more intense than a little colon/parenthetical happy face. Sort of ironic since I was ttrying to say that happy faces aren't required.
cunextuesday2, actually, no, i'm not a nice person. at all. both my posts about the dog were passive-agressive as hell. because i've been sick about that dog too, but trying to give pixie the benefit of the doubt. i was hoping for more details that might make me feel better.

fwiw, i've never quite understood the concept of an "outside dog." i think all dogs should be inside. on laps. on beds. part of the family. i realize others feel differently. but it's always bothered me.
QUOTE(cunextuesday2 @ Aug 8 2006, 04:37 PM) *

And Pixiedust, before you go off about this being one of your "stalkers", NO, I am not one of them. I do not know you from a hole in the wall, and frankly, quite glad I don't. I would not want to know anyone who can be so casual about an animals untimely demise. You seem to have so many problems around here. Have you ever stopped to examine why that may be? I'm just saying, maybe you should. And maybe you should take Mandolyns advice (although I am sure she meant in a very nice way because she is a very nice person) and stick to fish.

There's a difference between stating anger at a situation and an unnecessary attack on someone's general character. I don't see why the above needed to be added by C.U.N.T. (ha!). I'm all for stating anger at a situation.

Now I'm a little annoyed, and I can't concentrate on reviewing posts to respond, but please everyone know that I'm loving getting to catch up with ((everybustie)), and you have the most adorable pets. Ever.

What is with all the pink eye, though?? One of my friends told me last night she might have it too!
uh, can I put in a plea for this not to get out of hand again? please? I know we don't always have to be lovely and fluffy to each other, but CU appears to be a total newbie. And a rude one, but flanker put it perfectly. Step away from the shit-heap, kvetchies.

you know I loves you all, though?

(((mando))) you ok, hun?

(((faith))) now raisin has a proper job, there is plenty of room on the procrastination sofa tongue.gif . This person sounds like they know what they're doing though, so I do hope it helps.


(((crassy))) silly boss. a pox on him. but yay! for state fairs

(((polly))) woo! woo!

(((yuefie))) that sounds... tasty. And you do not look 33, love.


(((bunny))) I'm still fretting here - you've been quiet - but good to know things are looking up. And echo what rose said.

(((raisin))) your boy bunny cannot shag my boy bunny, because although I am in favour of gay-bunny-lovings, the girl bunny would be most upset. And your job will get better, the first day is always hard.






(((everyone else)))

one of those days... yet another fight with O (it's all we do these days) because apparently I'm boring. More fool me for thinking he might be interested for a second. And a flatmate and I cleaned the kitchen today (a proper clean... the fridges and all) and we have a fruit fly infestation after it was so hot; they're very little and don't do anything, they're just irritating as all fuck.

Oh, and I hate moving house. Hate it hate it hate it. Grrr. Stupid packing.

Thank you for your post, Sidecar. I strenuously agree. You said it better than I could have.

CU may have been a little tactless in her delivery, but I don't think she was entirely wrong, either.
I'm sorry if you guys felt I was being flippitant about the dog. We have been dealing with our grief on our own, and I have tried to keep myself as unemotional in here as possible lately because last last time it got me in trouble. I guess I can't win with some of you.

Outside dogs are very common where I live. I live in a rural community where everyone has several outside dogs to act as watchdogs and companions. We knew this dogs mother was a chocolate lab, but was unsure of her father, so when she never got above 30 pounds we decided he must have been a smaller breed. She seemed to be a normal healthy dog; I never said she appeared weak. But obviously, normal healthy dogs don't just die from being out in the heat without water for a few hours. And it was a matter of hours. I used to work for a vet hospital, and from that experince, I believe now that she may have had some sort of heart problem that would account for her being smaller than normal and would make her more suceptible to the heat. As roseviolet said, I have a very shady yard and in addition she also had a nice dog house for shelter. the dog loved to jump and often knocked down minipixie so keeping her as an inside dog was not an option..hence we had discussed finding another home for her.

And yes mandolyn, right after we moved here we had an inside dog that got out of our backyard fence when we let him out to go potty. He was a purebred and my neighbors think they saw someone pick him up. We have since bought a privacy fence to keep that from happening.
i'm back from my tour. argh. it was two suits from a bank, they were stiff and annoyed that we didn't have central air. oh well, i have to work in these conditions, so there!

i too was upset and wanted more info on what happened with the dog. but i'm giving pixie the benefit of the doubt, cause i do not think she is a bad person and have gotten to know her enough that i know it wasn't on purpose. i also don't think that she was being flippant when she talked about it, i'm not sure what was expected. i think it's sad but because i try to avoid being mean (and i'm actively working on being less judgmental) i felt like i would be judging if i responded to it directly, especially not knowing the whole situation, so i opted to just give hugs and avoid talking further about it.

(((sidecar))) & (((mandi)))

i also don't believe in 'outside' dogs, but i am on the board at a local humane society and they have to have the dogs outside most times (even though they do have kennels and shade, etc). but the last couple of weeks when it got really hot, they had to bring all the dogs into their offices and either work from home or just work around the dogs. i think if you decide to have a dog you should understand the proper care of the dog including what is and what isn't appropriate in all situations.

sidecar, please don't limit your time here, we all really like you and respect your opinion, we don't care if you're happy or angry!

(((fanker ji!!!))) so nice to see you!

(((mornington))) where are you moving? *crossing fingers for new jersey* wink.gif
No, I don't think it was intentional, just careless. Unfortunately, a dog died as a result, and that's a tough one to ignore.

QUOTE(pixiedust @ Aug 5 2006, 11:12 PM) *

We filled a big 5 gallon bowl just last night, but when we got home from grocery shopping tonight, it was empty and she was gone.

Perhaps I misunderstood. My reading of your original post was that the dog was outside, alone, in 100-degree temperatures, for up to a whole day. From "last night" to "tonight." With water that I can't imagine was getting cooler as the day progressed.

Anyway. I'm done. I just think it's a shame, made even more so because it was entirely preventable.
pixie, thanks for taking the time to explain a little more. i appreciate your keeping your cool. altho your "I can't win with some of you" comment makes me think you're eventually going to make this into another "you're all against me" scenerio. i hope you don't go down that path again.

i do remember your inside dog. i remember your being worried that someone might've found him/her, because you didn't want two dogs. i had a hard time digesting that also. if my dog got away, i'd be worried sick and completely overjoyed to get it back. but i don't know you and i don't know your home situation, so who am i to judge?

and actually, i should apologize. i'm sure i'm projecting. see, growing up, our neighbors had an outside dog. they kept her outside in all kinds of nasty weather, under their porch, and her puppies too (they never had her spayed, of course). my mother and i still hate ourselves for never reported their blatant cruelty. but we didn't want to cause a ruckus or incite their animosity. but yeah. i have issues with people who see nothing wrong with "outside dogs". that doesn't mean it's ok for me to take it out on you, though.

i think i'm done too. and may lay low for a while.
sorry if my comments upset anyone.

Mandy, thanks for the apology. And to clarify...the first dog got lost when we first moved her in Nov...and just last month a neighbor thought they had found it...6 months after the fact, and after we had gotten another dog. To get the first one back would have put us over the city limit on dogs and would have been too much for us to take care of.
I believe in inside dogs, too. If you can't manage that, I don't think you should have a pet. They aren't accessories, they are living creatures that should be given as much consideration toward their needs as given to peoples' needs. (Though given the sorry state of the world, that's in damn short supply.

I have a hard time with the idea that no one is supposed to say anything real in here if it might be harsh. I know this is supposed to be a supportive place, but you know, I don't want to "support" every attitude and behaviour, especially ones I find incredibly damaging/harmful.

I'm deliberately not making any specific comments on any specific situation here, but rather responding to the general idea of "what kind of place is this supposed to be." Just my 2 cents.

Anyway, Raisin, I'd echo the "Give yourself a break--it was your first day!" sentiment.

And a big whoohoo for the new job, PS!

((yufie)) Isn't it weird which birthdays bother you? My "bad" birthday was 26, as I was then closer to 30 than 20. Ha! Now that's ages ago as I turned 40 in June! (With little to no fanfare, which is ok with me.)
I haven't posted in this thread before and I kinda like to lurk more than anything, but I wanted to just pop in here to say something about the dog issue.

When I first read pixie's post on the dog passing away, I didnt read it as her being insensitive or flippant about it at all. Honestly, I dont know how she would be able to bring it up any other way.

As far as whether or not the death of the dog could have been prevented, no one can really say because no one knows it's medical history besides for Pixie.

And I'm not saying that no one has a right to their own opinion, they absolutely do. But I don't think it's necessary to attack one's character, esp since we really can't judge via a message board.

Just my two cents, now back to lurking.
I almost forgot to mention--the mister passed his CDL test so is now fully employable in the US! Whoohoo! He's off inquiring about a job now.

Also we've hired a doula, and so far I feel really good about this, and so does the mister.
Pixie, when you constantly fall back on "that's just how it is where I live" and "that's how I was raised" to defend drunk driving, voting for antichoice and antiwoman conservatives, defending the use of the term "feminazi," and leaving your dog who may have had "a genital genetic defect" (very different from calling it "weak," so sorry for the confusion) outside in 100+ degree heat -- you're right, you're not going to "win" with me. Maybe I'm just part of the International Anti-Pixiedust Conspiracy that's sweeping the Internet. [/sarcasm]

uh, can I put in a plea for this not to get out of hand again? please? I know we don't always have to be lovely and fluffy to each other, but CU appears to be a total newbie. And a rude one, but flanker put it perfectly. Step away from the shit-heap, kvetchies.

Mornington, I really respect you, but I truly don't give a shit about some newbie being rude and that's not what this is even about. What I care about is that I'm not supposed to react to things I find unacceptable to keep the peace, even if they're brought up in a way that's not so nice. I didn't say anything since I read that post because of how things got in here last week. But sometimes, lines need to be crossed, even if in a combative, inelegant way, and only when CU said something did I feel comfortable enough to do so.

I'm not leaving this board, but I know now why I'm spending more time on LJ. But in the interest of not harassing everyone else, if I have anything further, I'll take it to PM.
I think maybe the internet has a saturn in retrograde thing going these days. There is even a flame war on my Freecycle board, which is just nutty.

Not to say you are all not completely entitled to post on whatever, I just have other things on my mind.

Had a lot to say but have now forgotton most of it, sorries.

Well done on the job, Polly!

Congrats to Mr Anoushh! That's really good news!

Hope you're ok, Bunny. I know that even when things are officially ok it can take a while to really feel ok and solid again. (((Bunnyone)))

I know you're going to do just fine at the new job, Raisin!

The new blender makes a mean raspberry margarita. I think I need to invest in some rum though to make daquiris instead because I just don't trust tequila even when it's hiding in a margarita.

Morale is low at my workplace. We've received official word that our largest client is moving a large chunk of their work (including most of what we do for them) to Singapore, and soon. Yay for globalisation. So although my job is reasonably secure (it's a permanent position, and the directors are emphatic there will be no redundancies), I have no idea what I will actually be doing at work 6-8 months from now. This really sucks as I quite like my job and don't really want it to change. I don't want other people doing my job either, although I'm sure they're all very lovely people, even if their English skills are shit and it must be said one would think decent English is critical in this position. ANYWAY.

It also makes me wonder if I am in a field with no future if the jobs are all going overseas. Cue is this really what I want to do when I grow up navel-gazing.

I guess the upside is that I was thinking I would have to keen out soon to impress people and claw my way into a promotion but there's no chance of that now and I may as well just be a slacker. I don't actually care about the promotion (much), I just want the pay rise that would accompany it. Bleh.

Aw fuck, I wasn't going to post anything. Not sure it's my place, since I don't hang out in this thread. But anyway, after everything that's been said, I'd just like to defend and thank those who have spoken out about the possibility of animal neglect. It would seem awful to me if the same group of women who encouraged me and praised me for "stealing" a neglected kitten DIDN'T turn around and demand at least some accountability for a dog who was living (it sounds to me) under pretty much the same conditions as that kitten (who is now the beautiful black two-year old Georgie). Speaking out usually makes everyone uncomfortable in some way - it's supposed to. Don't give it up.

anoushh, that's super awesome about the mister! also, what is a doula?

gawd, i hate to think of people (esp. my favorite people) coming here and posting less. that sucks! unsure.gif

more love for (((bunny)))

(((fina))) that job thing sounds stinky, i hope it doesn't end up affecting you too much!

well, i actually (amazingly) got everything done i needed to do at work and so now i'm going home to get 'my feets done' and then to pack and then off to the wedding and the ohio state fair. my brother called and asked why we were staying in a hotel instead of his place! the mr. said all seriously "oh, you'll understand when you're married in a few days! hee hee!! too bad i can't afford this (and my check card has a negative balance right now plus i won't be able to get my check on thursday --poo!) still i'm gonna try to have some fun.

eta: georgie was once a neglected cat? thank goodness you got him, he's gorgeous!
What is a doula?

It was these statistics that finally convinced me:

Women supported by a doula during labor have been shown to have:

50% reduction of cesarean rate
25% shorter labor
60% reduction in epidural requests
30% reduction in analgesia use
40% reduction in forceps delivery

Fina, I'm with you on the tequila.

(Actually, I don't trust rum, either, but tequila is even worse.)

And I know what you mean about being, well, protective about proper use of English.
sorry, perhaps what I should have said was "can we drop this, it was discussed a few days ago and I don't feel like sitting though another bloody argument again because the last time I was here all we were doing was fighting." Yes, you're entitled to your opinion. All I'm saying is that I don't want to fight because this is the only space that doesn't stress me out normally, and if I retreat into myself any more I will turn into a hermit.

cstars put it far better than I did.

yay for mr anoushh! and what is a doula, anoushh? (eta: woo!)

(((fina))) gah about the job, hopefully you'll hear more sooner. And it does suck that so many jobs are going overseas.

(((crassy))) not new jersey, no. Just to another part of london, a proper little flat.


Somebody tell me when the safe places are safe again.
I, too, have been avoiding Kvetch a bit due to the dog dying. It made me feel terrible, and I wasn't sure how to address was an accident, but it shouldn't have happened.

The hurricane and flooding here brought up a lot of issues of people's relationships with their pets...some people wouldn't go to safety because they couldn't take their pets, some left dogs tied up outside when they evacuated prior to the storm. I beat myself up that I didn't bring my cats to the hospital, but if I had, I probably would have gotten someone to euthanize them because I could not have left with 3 cats. (Some people did do coworker let her great dane out of his carrier before she was evacuated. We'll never know what happened to him.)

And then I nearly went crazy worrying about them from my mom's house and finally came down here to rescue them weeks after the storm...miraculously, they were all alive and OK. So, I know that this doesn't really relate to pixie's situation, but I guess I'm just trying to say that this brought up a lot of issues and emotions for me...and I've decided that it's OK with me that not everyone treats their animal on par with a human family member. Still, something did not sit well with me with this dog's death, and I didn't know how to say that. I'm OK with others having outside animals as long as they are brought in during extreme heat and cold...and checked on frequently.

I would like to be able to talk about serious stuff around here and to even question people about things they say...I dunno. I like this place mostly being supportive, but I don't like feeling afraid to express something else, either.


anoushh, congrats to the mister! And crassy, a doula is a trained labor support person...I was one, before I was a labor and delivery nurse. A hospital where I used to live hosted a study on the impact of doulas on labor and birth outcomes, so they had doulas available to patients at no charge if they wanted one. And they had some great results, the biggest being decreased C-section rates. Results so great that the hospital continued with the program and started paying for the staff doulas themselves (as opposed to being paid through the study grant)...and that's pretty monumental when you consider how hospitals love to cut spending! (oops, took so long to write this post anoushh already answered the doula question!)

So, yay for anoushh getting a doula! Some of ours were trained massage therapists, as well, and some did postpartum visits.

And crassy, have a great trip! The dresses are quite nice.

((fina)) ((bunny)) ((mornington)) ((everyone))
I didn't know you'd been a doula, Amilita. And that is VERY cool about the hospital!

You stated it better than I could (about what a doula is), so thanks.

God, I cannot imagine what that situation must have been like for people with pets. I tried not to think too much about it at the time as it made me feel so sick, but then I felt guilty b/c I had the luxury of not thinking about it, if that makes sense.

Is it just me or has dusty disappeared? sad.gif

Anway, don't mean to be a thread hog.


Maybe it's time for us to define what Kvetch Up is for. I don't want people to feel that they need to censor themselves, but I also want us to have a place where people feel safe to turn to during times of stress. Usually this thread has served that purpose on these boards. Like lots of other people, I tend to spend most of my time in Kvetch Up because it's usually a very encouraging, up-beat place to be. I think that's why I'm extra protective of this thread. However, I know that this thread was created as a place where people can vent. So has the purpose of Kvetch changed slightly over time? Or not?

Do you think that maybe we need to create a thread that is dedicated just to vibe requests and the like? A thread where we promise not to engage in fighting? Because there are days when I need a place like that. I need that soft pillow that I can fall back on. Again, the idea of the thread would not be to encourage censorship, but if you have an issue with something that is said there, we can either move the disagreement elsewhere or take it to PM. What do you think?
Personally it won't be very meaningful to me if people are saying postive things to me because that's all they are "allowed" to say.

Sometimes we all need to hear painful things, for our own good and the good of those around us. That's my POV, anyway.
Anoushh, in one of my favorite studies about doulas, the control group without doulas had what was supposed to be a neutral observer sitting in the corner, not interacting with the laboring woman AT ALL. Yet they were finding that even that person was having a positive effect on birth outcomes!

The postpartum women would say things like how great it was to have someone watching over even called the person her "angel in the corner" or something like that! And it wasn't just perception; the C-section rates and all that were effected, too. Not as much as the doula group, but still. Interesting, huh?

And yeah, the hurricane sure brought up some interesting stuff about people and animals...I really had a hard time talking to one friend of mine who was very, very concerned about the animals here. I didn't think that was wrong or anything, but I was thinking that I just barely escaped with my life and there were so many people still stuck and was very hard to see footage of the Convention Center, where I had fled from on Wednesday, with all the people still there on Thurs and Friday. It was KILLING ME.

And I was sad for the animals, too, but also resentful that people would mobilize to rescue them but I had to rescue my own damn self...and lucked into some help and assistance. So yeah, I'm not over it, you can tell. Oh, and then our house got broken into by what we can only assume were animal rescue people (I had my cats on all the lists I could find) even though we spray painted NO PETS on our house after we got the cats.

I'm grateful for all the help that anyone gave for anything (people, animals) the time, it was hard.

Who's the thread hog now!?

ETA- I like the idea of defining what we want Kvetch to be...maybe a separate just-vibes thread would be good...I think I'd like Kvetch to be more free-form and with serious dialog not banned or whatever.
i'm the first person to defend kvetch as my most vital safe-haven. i usually run from any and all confrontation.
but i'd hope if i ever did something fucked up, i'd get called on it. yes, even in here.

ok, basically, what I was trying to say was while I thought that there were points, I felt the tone was needlessly agressive. I just don't want a fight with any of you, or to have to run away until you're all done because I like coming in here because it is such a supportive place. I think whatever happens that at least should remain.
Dude, I didn't want to fight either! But I just feel like there has been some stuff being said in here that I don't think merits support, and I would likewise hope that someone would call me on it, too.

I am not exaggerating when i say this thread saved my life when my brother died in a car accident and George W. Bush got elected within three days of each other (and then two weeks later, two of my best friends revealed they were splitting up and I found out the one spent the bulk of their marriage cheating on the other.) It was my rock, and it's a very supportive place. I like coming in here too -- that's why I'm not just moving on.

But I don't think this being a supportive place means we have to support every single thing that gets said in here, or keep our mouths shut.
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