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Full Version: A day to remember......the wedding thread.
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Absolutely Fad-ulous
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Our date is April 9, 2011.

Yeah, we're definitely going to make sure that whatever store we buy our liquor from will take back unopened bottles/cases, and I will make absolutely sure to tell the bartenders about that. I'm waffling between buying fewer bottles, but larger ones to get a better deal, or buying more smaller bottles so we don't end up with 3/4 of a bottle of something we don't drink left over. For the beer, we're going to buy bottles instead of do a keg so there won't be a risk of us having to waste half a keg if nobody drinks it all. Besides that, we won't have to pay a tap fee at our reception place. I'm less concerned about the wine, since it keeps well. I may try to buy a lot of it at the sales going on at my local liquor stores. Some of the deals have been as good as 2-for-1. I'd really like to order some cases from some vineyards I've visited, but it's really not worth it once you consider the cost of shipping.

The Geek proposed to me today. biggrin.gif
OMG! Congrats to you and The Geek, kitten!!!
Oh wow! Congrats Kittenb & the Geek!
Thanks everyone! I can't believe how many, "Have you set a date?" questions I've already gotten. I've been a fiancee for about 72 hours and I graduated from grad school over the same weekend so, no, we have not set the date. rolleyes.gif
After my graduation ceremony, The Geek & I went out to eat with our parents and some friends. Apparently, he had intended to propose this weekend w/out knowing that my family was going to be able to come to my ceremony. That was all last minute. So, my mom & his mom spent the whole dinner talking about the wedding and what I was going to want and how it should be and so on. I could see The Geek just shutting down from the pressure (he hates shopping and this was beginning to sound like one long shopping trip.) After we ate, I sent him home, alone, to play Dungeons & Dragons while my mom & I went to Macy's and looked at wedding magazines. I did find a very cool planner w/attached accordian file that I am buying soon. I need to start organized, I know this.
Afterwards I told him that, as great as his plan was, he just didn't anticipate the impact of proposing while we still had 48 hours of family time ahead. On the nicer side, though, I don't get to see my mom that much and we were able to talk a lot about what we could do (w/The Geek playing DDO the whole time tongue.gif)
I bought the bridal planner that I had my eye on. It is both helpful and useful but it doesn't seem to cover the one thing I am stuck on right now: how do you decide on a budget? Currently, I'm unemployed and my job prospects are depressing. And I don't know how to talk budget with The Geek. I've mentioned it a few times that we need to set a number but he never follows up with the conversation. This tells me he is either uninterested or not ready to set a budget. Do you ladies think I should wait unitl I'm employed to start planning or should we plan with the expectation that I will get a job (I can't be unemployed forever, right blink.gif) Since I am unemployed I have far too much time to think about what I want but no concept of what he thinks we can afford. The frustration is compounded by the fact that my unemployment is depressing. Yesterday I was in a fine mood until The Geek called to say that he was going out with drinks w/coworkers. Normally no big deal as Thursdays are a time we normally don't see each other much. Last night, though, I cried for 20 minutes. My job situation is making this engagement stuff not feel as great as I expected it would.
In funnier news, I've realized that my ring is a little too big. I don't want to bother with a resizing until after Thanksgiving so I wrapped it with yarn. So now my gorgeous ring looks like I'm wearing my high school boyfriend's classring. I actually had to pull up a website on how to wrap a ring. The bottom looks ridiculous and cheap but it fits so much better now.
Could you plan based on the assumption that you don't find a job soon? It would make you focus on the things that are really important to you both, and then when you find a job you can spend more on those things (which will be less depressing than having to cut back).

I don't mean to be pessimistic! But I do have a couple of friends who had to do their weddings on tiny budgets, and they worked out brilliantly because they were so personal and meaningful.
Thanks Persi. I'm in a much better mood than I was in before. It seems that The Geek has some grander ideas than I had but had even less idea of what it would cost. However, we had a fun time on Friday talking about ways to really personalize our wedding, things that we both wanted. I proposed a budget amount for us to aim for, he was suprised at how low it was but I think it gives us some room to wiggle and work with. So I guess we will see. We have an approximate date in mind and it gives us a few months before we even have to put money down on anything so.....SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB!!!!! biggrin.gif
Congratulations on your engagement! I know you haven't set a date yet, but do you have any idea when the wedding might be?

I bought one of those binders awhile back with the folder flaps and tabs and all the bells and whistles in it. It's "The Complete Wedding Planner and Organizer" by Elizabeth Lluch. It's spiral bound, too, which helps. Some of their budgeting advice I've found to be off, but at least it's a place to start. Also, the Offbeat Bride book has some good tips for planning inexpensively and a lot of DIY ideas. It wasn't really my thing because it assumes your friends and family are all talented at something that has to do with your wedding, which my friends and family are totally not.

~~~~~job hunting vibes~~~~

I'm still trudging through the planning. The wedding is 4 months from today, and I wish I could stretch it back to 8 months. All the really big stuff is done and my dress came in yesterday, so I'm going to play hookey from work on Tuesday to try it on with the alterations lady and also see about getting some invitations made. I need to have wide straps added to the dress and a bolero jacket made, since I need that kind of a safety blanket because I've never exposed my upper arms to anyone besides my fiance and health care professional. I just don't understand this trend of strapless dresses lately. What happened to sleeves?
Divala - I'm with you on not wanting strapless. I also cannot wear halter dresses, another big trend in dresses. They hurt my neck & give me bad headaches.

It has been ages since I've been here and I cannot believe I am about to type the same thing I typed last time I was here: I need a fucking job to plan my fucking wedding! We have ideas, we even have an unpaid hold on a venue (I love that they were willing to do that.) We even have a preferred date (March, 2012.) But I don't want to put money on anything until someone hires me. There were several weeks that even thinking about my wedding made me burst into tears because I feel guilty about not having a job. So now I need to apologize to my future mother-in-law because I think she thinks I blew her off. She has some requests for the guest list and throwing me a shower and I was so overwhelmed when she brought it up that I didn't know what to say. I told we would talk about it after Christmas and then...I got really depressed about everything and I didn't follow up with her. Clearly I have a life-time to make it up to her but she is very sensitive (and out of town) so I need to figure out how to apologize without bursting into tears. Although that would at least make it clear how stressed out I am.

I just want to get to the wedding planning. It looks like fun. All I can do now is look at price tags and try not to faint. Everything seems to expensive.

My new co-worker got married last July and she got her dress here. It was brand new, would have been $1800, but she paid $50. I guess the place gets lots of wedding dresses, even new ones- apparently, there are women out there who can just buy a few wedding dresses and donate the ones they end up not wearing. blink.gif

Don't worry, something will come along.

Divala, how are things going? It's getting close! Oh, those last couple months are so much fun. wink.gif
So I'm finally poking my head back in here, as it appears we are finally (maybe) planning a wedding. Hello to all! And my apologies for busting in here (no pun intended, I swear) and then disappearing. As it turns out, having a baby, planning a wedding, and attempting to finish school at the same time was

Poly, I checked back a bit to see how everything went. Sorry about the family dramama! But on the other hand I must say, the idea of a barn wedding sounds so fantastic I think I might entirely scratch what plans I have. Ha!

No, but seriously, we might have to. A friend's parents offered us their house in the Dunes. It's a big house, but not so big that it can accommodate the 140+ (holy shitballs!) currently on our list. For reals. What the heck am I supposed to do? Just cross my fingers and hope 50 people don't show up? So we're having a tough ass time here, trying to cut down this list. Unfortunately Mr. Aphel's family is enormous, there's 50 people just from his side. And we're talking brothers, sister, aunts, uncles, first cousins, and that's it. Gah . . . .

Kittenb (and all), I've been all over Etsy, for wedding stuff that won't make you faint. I'm terrible at posting links (as in, I don't even know how), but there's a store called whiteromance that has some awesome dresses, all for under 300$. I also found a few stores that make tissue paper pom pom ball thingamajiggers for cheap, 40$ for 20 of 'em if I recall correctly. In the meantime, I hope the Job Gods bless you with new employment soon. Mr. A is also on the hunt after a less than stellar year doing remodeling and such. 'Tis tough.

Divala, I am off to check out that wedding planner. Probably best to purchase something along those lines, as my brain somewhat resembles pea soup as of late.

Luck to all! And I'll be back . . . .
Thanks, Polly. I told my Man of Honor that he was going to have to take me to that store. I've got a few David's Bridals dresses bookmarked too. None are over $250. I don't mind being a budget bride. It's just hard to set a budget when I don't know what I'll be earning.
In much better news, The Geek got a great bonus & raise this year after working A WHOLE FREAKING LOT! So we are going to use his bonus to cover the downpayment on our venue!!! It could cover the whole amount but there is no real reason to pay it all at once (and a few good reasons to not do that) so we are going to do payments. I'm so excited!!! As soon as we saw this place we both knew it was what we wanted. It needs no decorations or anything.
Welcome back, aphelendra!
congrats on the venue reservation!
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