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PINK!!!!! How are you doing?!?!? So so good to see you around here. I've missed you! And I love what you've chosen to wear for the wedding. Those shoes! Those shoes are just ... well, they're simply too fab for words. Love!

Pam, we didn't have a formal engagement party, either. We got engaged on my birthday, but my parents were out of town. So when they came back, they threw us a sort of belated birthday/engagement party with just a few family members around. It was about as low key as you can imagine. And as for bridal showers, I really did not feel comfortable with the idea of having one. We had a very small wedding (less than 30 people in all) and I felt that a bridal shower would have meant that people who weren't invited to the wedding would have felt obligated to buy us gifts. I just didn't feel right about that. However, the ladies at my family's old church absolutely insisted ... I guess because they'd known me all my life! So we had a little party at the church & I got some Corningwear and such. It was very touching ... although it felt so embarassing to be the only person opening gifts with all of these people watching me!

I think having the wedding at 8pm is fine. I figure that since theatre always begins at 8, then it's perfectly reasonable to expect people to have gotten dinner out of the way by then. But just to be safe, definitely have something on the invitation that descibes the reception accurately. There's bound to be some websites or something that can help you with that. When we ordered or invitations, the lady at the shop really helped us with the wording. There are plenty of suggestions out there.

RSVPs. Ugh! What a headache. I have two ideas. You could (a) make your RSVP cards as postcards. And stamp it for the guests, too. A friend of mine did that with relative success. Or you could also (b ) send E-vites. I wouldn't do this for everyone, but at least for your group of friends. Some people find it a lot easier to reply to an e-mail ivitation than to put a postcard in the mail.
QUOTE(pamcakes @ Jul 29 2006, 08:54 PM) *

- Our budget is less than $5,000 or so
With that last bit, I don't even know if all that is possible. I'm wondering about the etiquette of not providing dinner since it's an evening wedding, but paying for a dinner, even buffet style, is surely out of our budget.

Then there are the etiquette issues on the part of our guests. We're in our early and mid-20s, respectively, and our friends are much the same. While etiquette was a part of my childhood, it seems to be sorely lacking in our peers. I plan to send RSVP cards out with the invitations, but I am wondering whether I'll get any back. I've received no more than two RSVPs for any other event I've tried to pull off and it's made planning ludicrously difficult. I've planned for many more or many fewer people showing up, depending on the party. How do you tactfully insist on getting a response?

congrats on the engagement!

I got married last year and was trying to cut costs wherever possible, so I have a few tips.

On the RSVP thing, my mom's side of the family was very good about sending in the RSVP card. Many of my friends and my dad's side were not. When it got close to me needing a more exact count my mom and I called everyone we hadn't heard from and asked them. It was the only way. Luckily we only ended up buying two extra dinners.

The most expensive part of my wedding was the food and alcohol. Since you are not serving dinner this will help, but make sure the bar you are having the reception at will not require you to have them cater the party. Even just a catered dessert will be expensive. I searched for a large enough venue for the reception that didn't require catering and was not able to find one. Alcohol for just a few hours of open bar was around $12-$15 per person. Once again, if we didn't have to go with caterers this could have been avoided by purchasing alcohol in bulk from Sam's club. This is something to seriously consider in your choice of venue.

You can save tons of money in other small ways:
not buying an official wedding dress and just buying a pretty party dress at a dept. store.

not hiring a DJ or band and instead making mix CDs in advance

not getting invitations made and instead making them yourself (I bought high quality blank invites and printed them on my computer)

I don't have tips on saving money on flowers except to not be too picky and buy what is in season locally

decorations don't have to be pricey either. buy votive candles in bulk. Dimming the lights and filling the room with lots of candles is very beautiful and classy.

hope these help. ask me if you have any more questions. : )
Rose! *tacklehug* I've missed you too. I've been okay. You?

I love the shoes too. They're velvet, so I keep opening the box and petting them lustfully. I want to wear them now. not months from now.

I'm worried about rsvps as well... we have notoriously flighty friends. thats why I'm making a list of addresses, phone numbers and an rsvp check box. that way, about a week to ten days after the deadline, I can start calling people.
In this day and age, I dont think its impolite, as everyone is living in such a technological world that they forget to snail mail things.
The shoes and the train are both green?
Yes. Perfectly matched as well. He's going to be wearing a Blackwatch kilt, and formal jacket.
Ooo. That does sound nice. The dress and the kilt.
One tip I heard about RSVP cards is that some people are too dumb to write their names on the reply card, so you just know x-number people are coming, but you don't know who they are, which, if you're putting out placecards, can be a problem. So make a numbered list of the people you're inviting and write the number on the back of the RSVP, inconspicuously, so that when you get it back, you can match it with a name.

Pamcakes/Katze, I've heard Sam's and Costco are great places to get flowers too, and it will save you a ton. Ikea would be a good place to get tea lights and little candleholders or vases- something to make centerpieces in.
How do you write the number inconspicuously?

I'm ordering my invites tomorrow... *squeee* The little girl in me is having so much fun twirling around like a princess.

Since we're having an Irish wedding, I'm making little clover favors. I'm spray painting 1inch clay pots to match our wedding colors and then planting clover seeds in them so that each guest gets clovers. its cute, little, and if they wish, they can keep it, and watch it grow.

Also, we're buying my bouquet, his boutonniere and then corsages and boutonniers for moms, dads and his grand parents. I'm making peacock feather boutonnieres for the groomsmen (my last name means peacock) and making the bridesmaid bouquets with 3 longstem roses and two long peacock feathers. We're going cheap and easy when we can.
Pink- that dress just KILLS ME!!!!!!!! and the shoes kill me AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
I'm getting married in October, too and I'm totally freaking out- we were gonna get married in July but we had to move instead so that's life. On the plus side though all the arrangements were getting out of hand I was getting really overwhelmed with all the details of a big wedding, so when we postponed the wedding we talked about what we really wanted. Now were having a really simple ten people on the beach ceremony, then all going out to dinner thing. Such a stress relief- but I don't think I'm getting a shower or anything now, which kinda sucks, but oh well. Have fun with your wedding!!!!
Just in pencil, small on the back or in the corner- works better with the traditional RSVP cards than a postcard.

I like the clover idea, though! Very cute. We're skipping the favor thing though. One of Le Boy's cousins had a very posh country club wedding, but rather than having favors for the guests, they had little cards on the table that said "In lieu of favors, the bride and groom have made a generous donation to (some inner-city literacy program)" I thought that was really cool, so we're stealing their idea. We're going to donate to the Shriner's Hospital because Le Boy has cerebral palsy in one of his legs and they provided him with free operations, physical therapy, all medical treatment until he was 21. We're going to word the cards basically the same way, except we'll say "...generous donation to Shriner's Hospital, without whom the groom would not have been able to walk down the aisle today." Aww. Sometimes I see cute favors and think it would be cool to have them, but then I think about all the favors I've gotten from weddings, showers, etc. over the years, and most of them go to waste. I think picture frames are good, and plants are cool, but I've got about 8 bottles of hand lotions from various showers that I'll never use.
I saw one idea that was great for favors, making jars of homemade jam and handing those out. Cheap and tasty and useful AND super easy.
I have a question. If one gets gifts on their wedding day, why does one need a bridal shower?
the last wedding i went to they gave out salt and pepper shakers as favors. kinda weird, huh? but different, so i can support that. though i prefer something you can use up, like candy or flowers - homemade jam is a great idea too!

i want to get married soo bad and have been obsessing with it for the past few months. my best girlfriend is engaged and seems to be having so much fun planning her wedding!! i need a new hobby and coming up with wedding stuff would be perfect. oh well guess i'll have to wait until my boy gets his act together biggrin.gif *sigh*...
polly and pink, i love your favor ideas!

we are going to do chocolate truffles with our names/initals on them. i found that i can get them locally, and we are going to pay around 93 cents each. we have kicked around the idea of doing golf tees (all the dudes in the wedding party and some of the ladies play), which are also affordable. that way, we would have a favor that represented each of us.

i recently got a personalized shot glass wedding favor. my friend got them online for under $1 each. i helped her decorate the plain boxes in black, white, gray or similarly patterned ribbon. they came out great, cute on their own but particularly nice looking when clustered together at the wedding.

i think the match book favors are neat. it always seems like i never have them around the house to light candles/incense, and now you can get them in matchbooks or match boxes.
I LOVE the jam idea for favours.

I like the shotglasses idea too as the boy and I collect nasty tacky ones.

Finaman doesn't see the point of favours but I would like to have some anyway. It would be great to do personalized wee bottles of scotch whiskey but they're awfully expensive.

Zora, I don't think you actually need a bridal shower, it's just one of those events people try to do to make it all more special, and because they want to show you how much they care etc. They are not at all common in the UK which pleases me greatly. I do expect to get dragged out for a hen party though (=bachelorette party) involving vast quantities of alcohol and tiaras and stupidity. I am hoping we can go whitewater rafting instead...

We went to see the jeweller up the road for a chat about rings on the weekend, I saw one in the window I love but it's way too big and the guy can make me a slightly different one that fits, with a different stone (not a diamond!) that will be half the price. Yes please!
I loathe the "traditional"/popular bachleorette parties. All these women running around in their tiaras getting plastered. I'd love to just do something fun instead like canoeing or dancing or something that I you know, enjoy.
Way to go Fina and nit getting a diamond! I do not like diamonds personally and I was afraid that I might be the only lady in the world that didn't.
Ah yes, the bachelorette parties. I've only been to one and it was pretty wretched. My boyfriend's sister got maried about 3 years ago and we did the bar/club hopping. I'm not a bar/club person, and we went to the street in Chicago where all the dance clubs and stuff are. I only knew the bride-to-be and my boyfriend's sister-in-law, so it was pretty boring.

We plan on having a dessert party for couples at The Cheesecake Factory.

Yeah, my boyfriend was thrilled to find out that I wasn't a diamond person, until he found out that I like tanzanite instead....mmm, only 1000 more rare than diamonds. Since all the Taliban stuff, I've decided not to get one of those, though.
i think i would like to go see fabulous drag queens for my bachelorette.

ps, i ordered my gown today! the jcrew sophia. it will be here in 4-7 business days.
Maybe this should go in the New York thread, but here goes.

I'm getting married in Feb 07 and need to pick a venue asap. We'd like to avoid church and do the ceremony/reception in the same building if possible. We're in Brooklyn but could do any of the boroughs or North Jersey. We've seen a few places and just want a sophisticated, non-frilly place that could accomodate 150 people for dinner, dancing and a band and doesn't cost a seems hard to find!

Any ideas, wedding mavens???
hey! i'm new here - i just got engaged this past Thursday (8/10), and am so excited to start planning things. we plan on having the wedding in October of 08, so i'm probably really really premature with this stuff, but i'm just so damn excited.

I have a ton of questions, but i'll be easy on y'all at the moment. wink.gif

my first question: when do i start doing what? like i said, i've got over 2 years to go before the date, and i'm your typical Virgo (very planful, etc etc), so i want to be prepared as possible, and get as many things out of the way as possible.

second question: which books and magazines did you folks love? which ones should i stay away from? why?

third question: should we register NOW? both our families are wicked excited about the engagement, and both have said that they want to start buying gifts for us, for the engagement (and party, i'm assuming - everyone's being quasi-shady about it), etc etc. i just don't know if it's wise to register now, as stores like Crate & Barrel (which i loove) get new stock in almost every season. i don't want to register like, 50 times.
along these same lines, are there any things that are customary to register for/recieve for an engagement gift?

i'm totally in the dark about all of this stuff, since, you know, i've never done this before!

and any other wisdom that you could impart on me would be greatly appreciated. thanks, ladies!
i got my dress today!! its perfect in every way. the fit is exactly right! it seems like the only part that will have to be altered is the hem. i bought the j crew sophia in ivory. i am so happy that i found a dress that i LOVE that is also within my budget!!!

remember the wedding where i was kicked out of the bridesmaid line up? we received the invitation today. my name is spelled incorrectly. my boyfriend asked the groom recently about me being relieved from the occupation of bridesmaid, and the future groom just said "i had nothing to do with that decision, it was beyond my control."

joiful, welcome to bust and congratulations on your recent engagement! the only magazine out there that i don't feel silly purchasing is martha stewart Weddings. i feel like a lot of the projects in there are practical and reasonable. i've purchased many of the other magazines to pull out ideas- for example, pictures of dresses i like, favors, cakes, etc. now i don't buy all of them so much- i do some serious browsing at barnes and noble, though, and i write down the names of products i want to check out online and such.

you can look online to find charts of when to do what. i created a little timeline/calendar with tasks to undertake listed below each month. since its so early for you, you might talk to your boyfriend about what kind of wedding you want, how much it will cost, and how you intend to pay for the wedding (or determine how much your families can help). it would also be a good time to decide if you are going to have a ceremony in a church or a civil ceremony- some faiths require you to take special classes for marriage.

PinkMartyr, congrats on the dress! Congrats on it fitting so perfectly and everything! I'm thrilled that it has worked out for you so well. That must be such a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders. As for that other bride ... pardon me if I just sigh and roll my eyes. My condolences to the groom. rolleyes.gif

Joiful, congratulations! And welcome to Bust! Pardon me for asking, but is there a reason why you're putting off the wedding for 26 months? I got married less than a year after getting engaged & I think I'd have gone insane if I'd waited any longer! Of course, there are parts of me that wishes I'd had more time, too smile.gif

The first thing you need to do is discuss what kind of wedding you want to have. A religious ceremony in a church? A gathering in a park? And how many guests do you two want to have? 20? 50? 250? And, of course, you need to consider how much you can afford to spend. If family members are chipping in, find out exactly how much they wish to donate to the affair.

As Pink mentioned, there are lots of calendars out there. You'll find them on-line, in magazines, planning books ... they're everywhere! I used the calendar in Martha Stewart Weddings magazine as a basic guide (they put one in every issue). The very first thing we scheduled was the venue. We checked out a few places and when we found the one we wanted, only one weekend was available in the month we wanted, so that's what we took.

Also, keep your eye out for wedding shows! In my home town, January is the hot time for wedding shows. It's a great opportunity to meet lots of vendors & get tons of ideas. We found our venue and our cake at a wedding show.

As for magazines, I looked through aaaaaall of the bridal mags. I'd flip through them at the library or at a big bookstore like Borders. If I found one that I really liked I would buy it, but I left most of them on the shelf. I found one issue of Brides that I really liked, which surprised me because a lot of their issues didn't help me at all. I also thought that there were some lovely ideas in Martha Stewart. But I think some of them get a bit carried away & obsess about teeny little details that are unnecessary (like intricate napkin rings). Plus, I see no point in the new bunch of wedding cake magazines, so I wouldn't waste my money on those. As for books, the only one I bought was one on wedding ceremonies and vows (You'll notice that the mags usually don't say a single word about vows). I just wish I could remember the name! If I can find it, I'll post it here.

As for registering for gifts, I would avoid places like Target, Pottery Barn and the like right now. Their inventory changes too much. Instead, register at a department store for something like fine china, crystal, &/or flatwear (My husband and I chose this pattern from Wedgewood - it's been around forever!). You could also register for timeless kitchenware like Corningware or Le Creuset. You can register again for everything else shortly before you mail out your invitations.

As for wisdom? Well, I think the ladies in here have plenty to offer! So whenever you have questions or just need a shoulder to cry on, we'll be here. smile.gif
thanks for all the welcomes! biggrin.gif

i picked up Martha Stewart Weddings, and Brides and In Style Weddings (or something...) the other day. just to browse through, to get an idea of what mag i like. okay okay i won't lie - i was just REALLY EXCITED and couldn't choose just one. laugh.gif

i registered with last night, and i like their planning feature - it helped put my mind at ease. i just get myself all hyped up over things, and although it's basically two years away (although we were just talking tonight about bumping it up to oct 07!), i feel the need to get everything set in stone. i know that is completely unrealistic, but whatev.

rose - that china pattern is GORGEOUS, omg. i think i may just have to steal that! i love love love it. i was trying to navigate's registry feature, however the wedgewood sterling bone china that they have listed doesn't look the same as it does on the wedgewood website. registering online kinda makes me wary anyway. i'd like to see exactly what i'd be getting in person. where did you register for your china?

i have another question. even though the date is far away, i already know basically who i would want to be bridesmaids. the problem is, that none of these women live anywhere close to each other. they're all far more than an hour away from each other, and from where i will be living when we plan the wedding. does anyone see this as a problem? what have y'all done if you've encountered this? if i chose a BM dress at say David's Bridal (or any other national chain), would they be able to just do the fittings, etc, at their local chain shop?

i mentioned up there that we had originally talked about 08 as the year for the wedding, but we're both so excited that we were talking tonight about bumping it up to 07 instead. however, i currently live in Boston, and the wedding would be taking place in upstate NY. we plan on moving back to NY in the spring/summer of next year. have any of you planned weddings that weren't in the town where you live? how did you go about this? unfortunately, both of us work jobs where it's difficult to get time off to go back to NY to meet with photographers/caterers/etc. the degree of dificulty is what i'm looking for, i guess. and any tips you have in regards to this.

i am probably completely incoherant. i apologize. i am still just floating on a cloud over here. biggrin.gif
joiful, congrats on your engagement!! enjoy this time, for sure! smile.gif

i just recently got engaged a few months ago, and we're getting married sept '07. so, we've been planning what we can now (i'm a fellow virgo, so i know what you mean about wanting to get some planning done!).

i, too, have bridesmaids who are living in different places. i'm having four - two live in my city, one lives a couple of hours away and the other one lives on the other side of the country. i don't think it would be a problem to have them living in different cities - i think it's totally workable. but it also depends on what you want. for me, i've chosen brown as the colour for their dresses (like a dark, chocolate brown). i'm not requesting that they have all the same dress, but i would prefer it be as close as possible to the same shade of brown and if possible, the same material. but, that may not happen. email is a wonderful way to communicate to them - as well as phone. but through the computer, you can send pictures, etc, quicker than through snail mail. is this making sense? i also haven't really done any bridesmaid-y things yet, so i haven't really come into any difficulties. some of the other busties here may have more experience with this!

we're also planning a wedding in a different city - well, a little town about an hour away from where we live. we just picked a day we both weren't working to check out venues and booked one when we saw what we liked. it might not be that easy for you and your fiance, but hopefully something will work out. check websites, too, of the places you might consider. that's how we found ours. it's also a place that does the catering, as well. so it's a two in one. good luck with finding a place! (and if you're planning to get married next year - my advice would be to start looking now - places book up fast)

our photographer is also not in the same city. we've been corresponding through email and faxes, though. (my fiance had been to weddings that she worked at and really liked her work, so we booked her). i'm thinking i won't meet her until the rehearsal dinner, but i'm trusting him on this one! (and i've seen her work that she did on the other weddings).

sorry if this is all too rambly! but good luck joiful, and enjoy the planning!

pinkmartyr, i roll my eyes at that bride, too. and like rosev said, that poor groom! congrats about the dress!

OK OK, I can't keep quite ladies!! I've been lurking in here for a bit, as I am planning my very non-traditional wedding (79 days to go! woot woot!)

It seems that many of you are having or have had pretty traditional weddings, but I wanted to share my planning ideas...mainly because I am excited as hell biggrin.gif

Here is the dress (although that's not me) IPB Image[/img]

We live in Miami, but we're having the event on the West Coast of florida. The ceremony will be on the beach, my maid of honor is performing it. Then, we've rented a super cute beach house for the reception. My sister and soon-to-be-sister-in-law are both making delicious latin food, and we are having a "dessert table" instead of a cake (cheesecake, flan, pies, brownies, etc).

The decorations will be minimal, as the beach house is decked out already, but I have collected lots of different shapes and sizes of glass vases and containers, some will have sand and candles, others will have the flowers (sunflowers and either super dark red roses, or some other deep red flower)

Our guest list is only about 50, and everyone is staying close to the beach house so we can all have brunch the next day.


Thanks for letting me gush laugh.gif
and Big Congrats to you, amber and joiful!
Em, that sounds fantastic! The whole thing! And I truly love your dress. And I love the fact that you chose locations that don't need much decoration; that is one of my best tips for anyone planning a wedding. Just pick a place that's already beautiful. I also had a fairly small guest list & it was a fantastic idea. I knew every single guest & I know that 2 decades from now, I'll be ablet to look back at my wedding pictures & I'll still be able to name every guest. That was very important to us.

Joiful, Amber makes a good point about finding a location ASAP. Lots of places get booked a year in advance. In fact, if you were wanting to get married in a heavily populated area during June, you might need to book 2 years in advance. Madness! I know upstate NY can be beautiful in October so you might have a wee bit of trouble, but 14 months might be enough.

I think the hardest thing about planning a wedding in an area that you're unfamiliar with is that you can't just ask friends and family for recommendations. At one point, my husband and I were going to have our wedding in the Lake District in England (my husband is English, I'm an American). And let me tell you, planning a wedding 5,000 miles away was hard! I was honestly relieved when we came up against immigration problems & decided to do the wedding state-side. The major thing I learned from that experience: the internet is your friend. I scouted all sorts of locations on the internet, as well as florists and hotels for family and the like. You can just go to Google & put "wedding" and "upstate New York" in the search box & you'll find tons of resources. There are also some recommendations on The Knot. For instance, here is their list of venues in upstate New York.

Bridesmaids dresses. I must admit that I chose not to have BMs, but I've been a bridemaid before. So I agree with the idea of going to David's Bridal or making sure that you pick a dress from a company whose dresses can be found nation-wide. It will relieve SO much stress this way. One of the great things about David's Bridal, I found, was that you can get many different dress styles in the same fabrics and colors, so this would be an excellent option for you, Amber. Looks like they have a variety of browns, too.

Joiful, I'm glad you liked our china pattern! I think it's perfect & timeless. But the main reason why we went with Wegewood is because it's made in England. My husband was born in the region where Wedgewood & other pottery is made in England, so he is VERY picky about such thing. The man is an absolute china snob. Even when we go out to eat at a fine restaurant, he'll turn over his bread plate to see where the china comes from. It's almost as if the food tastes better to him if it's served on English china. It's a cute little quirk. wink.gif
Congratulations to all you newly engaged! I just got engaged on Tuesday- it's so exciting! Em- I love the dress and it sounds like your wedding is going to be a blast! Joi we too were thinking Oct. 08 and then wanted to move it up, but I think we're sticking with it b/c it will allow for optimum saving! =)

I work as a wedding planner so if anyone has any q's I'll try my best to answer them!
just wanted to say hi to everyone! i am really enjoying reading about everyone's plans!

congrats on your new engagement, gigi!

we picked out flowers last night... white cymbidium orchid, ivory spray rose, purple anemone, blue hydrangea, blue tweedia, birch branches. my two sisters-in-law are freelance florists, and they do really nice work.
Oh goodness, i've been trying to post for the past week and keep getting distracted.

Congrats on the engagement!

Em, I love that dress.

We have the reception site booked, and we also have ordered the invitations. We're two months away as of today.

I'm a little stressed.

Today I have another appointment to test a hairstyle. I want my hair down and curly. Its naturally curly, but I want it to be perfect.

Bridezilla moment:
I had to tell off my family the other day, because my dad and stepmom are all upset that my wedding is on a sunday evening. I understand that its difficult for people that have to work the next day, but I truly am beyond caring at this point. I told everyone BEFORE I bokoed the date and site that I wanted it on a sunday evening and no one said a damned word, and then AFTER I book everything, the bitching starts? I dont think so.
I told my dad that if having my wedding on a sunday evening was SUCH a problem, then he could just come to the ceremony and go home so that he could be in bed by 8. His wedding was on a THURSDAY in the middle of freakin' nowhere. We ALL had to take off time from work, then drive two hours to the middle of nowhere and stand there for 20 minutes to drive back. And they're giving me crap about my wedding being inconvient?? Thats crap.

Prettynpink, that's just lame that your family's giving you shit...Especially so close to the damned event. I'm sure they have enough time in advance to plan for it..sheesh!

74 days and counting for me! Pretty, you and I are getting hitched pretty close in time. Yay for us!

Yay for all the engaged busties!! And yay for Rose who's helping us all with her newlywed status! laugh.gif
I got my invitations last night!!!

They're so pretty!!!!
Am I the only one who didn't know that Lane Bryant made bridal gowns?
polly, those were quite pretty, and really affordable!
has anyone seen one up close?

has anyone noticed people in your lives using your wedding as a point of retaliation? like, not going to someone's wedding is a statement about how much you dislike/dissapprove of a person? for example, i'm not going to Bridezilla's wedding for obvious reasons. just the other day, my mom said that one of our (chatty, rumor-loving, behind yr back drama talking) relatives said that i was "rude" to her at dinner because i didn't talk to her a lot and has stated that she's not coming to my wedding.

and, is it bad that my opinion is like, "i respect their wishes." and i'm not getting my panties in a knot over it?
Right, denial no more! I started thinking it was pretty ridiculous this non-decision thing we were doing so we have set a date (Oct 5/2007), decided what we are doing (although not definitely where), and have a preliminary budget that is workable and will still allow us to have some fun in the next year. Progress, hurrah!

Our friends' wedding last weekend was really good, we are definitely having our ceilidh at the same place they did. It is very affordable, the drinks at the bar are reasonably cheap and they include bartenders with the venue hire (I feel a bit squicky about a cash bar but apparently it is the norm in the UK and given how much our friends drink it is a huge relief- we will probably pay for the first drink for everyone and let them take it from there). Our friends asked people to bring a potluck dish for the buffet instead of gifts and it was awesome. We are totally doing this. There was so much food, and everyone put real effort in so it was really good, and our friends didn't have to pay for an expensive meal and they didn't accumulate gifts they don't want or need. Perfect. They just had the food out all night so people could eat whenever they wanted.

So we are going to have the ceremony on the Friday afternoon, at a mystery location yet to be decided, followed by a few pictures hopefully taken by a friend for free, then we will have a dinner at a nice but not posh restaurant with a semi-private room (I've been there before and really liked it, but Finaman hasn't so we will have to go together and look deeper into prices etc). This will be only for family, the wedding party, and friends who come over from Canada (total: 30-40 people) to keep costs hopefully reasonable. Then sat afternoon we will get the ceilidh hall ready and have the ceilidh and potluck dinner saturday night with all our friends, family and work people etc.

We decided we really should do something in Canada with/for people who can't come over to Scotland (especially our grandmothers) so are thinking we will have a xmas party/reception as we will probably be there for xmas anyway. Two birds, one stone etc. Not sure where this will be as the most affordable place we know with rocking food has hideous decor and I just can't do it. The place I would like to have it is awfully nice and also probably too pricey but we haven't really thought about numbers yet for that so will leave it for now.

We also decided we are going to hire a cottage for a week for our honeymoon, either in Ireland or the west coast of Scotland, something cosy with a fireplace or wood stove, on or near a beach, within half an hour of a pub, and we might even take the cats. Hee!

So I think now we need to have a serious chat with the goldsmith about rings, decide where the hell to have the ceremony and get serious about booking some dates. Then think about save the date cards and then maybe start looking for a dress (I still really love the style Ambercherry posted and would LOVE to find something similar). When should I be thinking of sending save the date cards? Would it be too tacky to just write all the shit on a postcard?
Pinkmartyr, no disrespect to your relative, but if they take offense that easily it may be a relief if they aren't at your wedding: one less person to babysit. Sheesh.

Fina, I know someone who rented a lovely cottage in Ballyvaughan in Co Clare, near a beach and near a pub which had regular 'seisuns'. If you're curious I can get the link from them.
Syb, that would be lovely, thanks. I found a good place online near Kenmare in Co Kerry but am keen to check out other options.
Okeedokee. Most invitations have been sent out. only about 40-50 remain.

I made the card box for the cards and such. It looks fantastic. I'll post a picture of it as soon as I can.

I'm getting worn out, but excited about this. YAY!
I have my wedding dress!!!!! its soooo pretty!!
I just saw the pics in Say Cheese. Yay!!! So are all of the alterations done, too?
I dont have to have it altered at all. I just have to have them make the bustle. its the right length, size, everything.
Pink - your dress is fabulous. But your shoes - I am coveting them so much!!!! One of my best friends got married almost 2 years ago and had a gorgeous dress with red detailing...she was married in December in Las Vegas and it was her "showgirl" dress. She looked amazing and different..... smile.gif Of course, she's perfectly beautiful, so she could've married in a potato sack and looked hot.

Here's the dress.Red Dress Pic Don't know who designed it - I just googled "wedding dress with red."
i checked out your dress and it does fit you beautifully!
i'm so excited for you!

prettyinpink, so.damn.gorgeous!!

I love the shoes

I got engaged two weeks ago and I'm already having issues. Is that silly or what? Guests, size, school and other issues eating up time. This is way more stressful than I ever thought it would be...

Anyway, just wanted to do a bump and a warning about using this thread for the next 7 or 8 months...

My mom is scouting locales for me, as we're going to do this back near my parents''s not a hugely long drive for his mom (like, an hour), and the area I grew up in is really pretty in a lot of the moment it's just a question of deciding when, exactly, and where...I think probably most places will be booked up for summer already, but we're doing something so small, we might be able to just go middle of the week and luck out with a date somewhere...

blah...scattered....lots of wine at the moment...anyway, congrats to everyone!
Yay! thank you for the compliments!! I'm worried about the back fat factor, but I think I'll just ignore it and love my big ol' body.

Maybe I should change my name to prettyngreen! HOHO! didja see that? Oh yeah! Cant stop me! Switched it up and changed it all around. Cause my name is prettynpink... and I'm in green and you all think I'm pretty in that and... yeah... okay. I'll let it go.

Double post from Kvetch:

everything is going pretty well for the wedding except that we just found out that we have to pay $550 for Irishboy's exit fee for his court ordered alcohol class, which means that I have nothing to pay the DJ, cake maker and photographer with.

I am freaking out. I had $700 budgeted to spend for all three and I dont know if I can manage it. I have to have the cake and the photographer, but it cant be a party without music. ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!


My parents are completely broke, and so can contribute no more, and his parents have paid for 2/3 of the wedding so far. My best friend paid for his ring because I have no credit, but he needed a wedding ring, so I'm paying her back. I dont know what to do. I dont have my corset, or our cake serving set and other things that are freakin' essential to a wedding dammit!!!

My friend gave it to me today because she couldnt wait for this saturday!!!!
Ha..PnP, I have my font sizes turned up really large ('cause my eyes are like, 80 freaking years old) so your stripper pole announcement was HUGE


So, I've been so focused on music lately...and I totally found our song, although I'm not sure how I'm going to get a chance to use it, since we're getting married in a coffeehouse..."You're There Too," by Maury Yeston. I've always loved it, but I really didn't notice how apropos the lyrics are for us...

We're atheists, and our families are mixtures of atheists/agnostics/misc. amorphous Christians, and whatever ceremony we have is going to be completely sans god/religion/spirituality...we're just not. We're not doing attendants or an aisle or anything like that. We're actually probably hitting the courthouse sometime this year and then doing our own vows at the coffeehouse thing (which is where we met) and desserts with family and friends, maybe dinner later on...

Really the only thing we're doing that is remotely related to traditional weddings are engagement announcements and invitations, and flowers, 'cause I love flowers...I will be making myself a pretty dress and I think doing a russian net birdcage veil or little hat with a piece of netting on it...vintagey.

So today I'm off to look at notecards...whoo
prettynpink- If it's not too late what about having a friend take the pics? You could also make cupcakes yourself instead of having a cake made. If you have an iPod you could just rent the sound system from a DJ service- which would save you hundreds and just play off your iPod. Just some thoughts. I'll have to share my wedding plans with you all later as I'm feeling pretty sleepy! =)
So... what do I do at a bridal shower?
open all your presents! congrats!
really? thats it?
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