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I'm really in need of some advice! After a four month seperation my ex and I started having sex again. In the past I haven't been able to get a lot of physical pleasure from sex and the same is true after this bout of abstinence. I'm dry leading up, numb during sex, and afterwards I'm very sore and swollen. Mentally I am very turned on and willing yet my body doesn't respond. I guess I just don't understand why pleasure is missing for me. Does anyone have any tips on releasing mental blocks, or other ideas about what is happening, or even just a similar experience would help!
Hey Martha,

I went through a similar situation when I broke up with a long term boyfriend. It's very difficult to get your body to get back into it's usual routine, especially after something so stressful. First of all, get yourself a lubricant to help with the dryness, post sex swelling and soreness. Second, you've got to get your body to align with your mind and to do this you need get back in tune with your body. The best thing you can do is reintroduce yourself to your body with touch and stimulation, like masturbation!! I started watching soft porn and sparking up my imagination with hot steamy sex thoughts and dreams (especially with Brad Pitt)! Eventually I got my mojo back and didn't need that lube!!

Ah, I remembered one point I did want to make about STD's, even the treatable or curable ones-which is that, doesn't it make it easier to transmit HIV when there are open sores or bleeding or other stuff that STI's can cause?
oh, i forgot what we were talking about in here.
oh well, here's something general about sex...

it's been a while since i saw my ex naked and lately i've been hanging out with another fella so i've gotten used to his kisses and touches and, ahem, package. anyhow, i had a little moment with my ex today and, since the time between the two of them has been so short, the difference in size became very apparent to me (i could almost fit it all in my mouth).
now, i have always been under the impression that i like big cock. it's satisfying in a way that little cock never has been for me, i like it rough and dirty and i like it to hurt a bit sometimes so... how odd that i remember the sex with this ex as having been so absolutely fabulous every.single.time. i mean, really, a superior shag all around.
the new fella is pretty fun and all but this ex? wow.
he just illustrates that whole "it's not the size but how you use it" philosophy that has just been words to me before. really, how does he do that? skillz man. i can't wait to try it out again and see if it's as good as i remember. so far everything else is...

love the ex reunion shag. love it.
From the VV:,bussel,74537,24.html
Am i weird that i dont like guys going down on me? and its not cause i am ashamed or anything, it just does absolutely nothing for me.

also maddy-boys dont have cervixs sooooo they cant get cervical cancer. warts for men are gross, but completely harmless. the whole point about it being for women is the cervical cancer rissk. and while its cool if guys dont get it, its not really as pressing an issue for them.
ap, what part of that were you meaning to point out? the plug, the ring?

kb, it's not weird, just unusual i think. most of the women i know like it but there are lots who don't. it helps if he's good at it though tongue.gif


Maybe you have not found someone who knows how to do it properly....and that, is a damned shame. smile.gif

ETA: pepper beat me to it, but there is at least some common reason then....
I think giving the vaccine to boys too would be a great idea. It would prevent them from getting HPV as well as allowing them to pass it to women who haven't had the vaccine. Just makes sense to me.

Katie, my two best friends have never liked it that much. They're twin sisters so I've always assumed it was just the way they work biologically. Neither of them likes clit stimulation either. I think some people just don't like it.
well the guys i dated were good at it, i mean at least i was told so by former girlfriends of theirs so i dont think its that. its just too soft for me. i do like clitoral stimulation though, just not with someones tongue lol. boys are always confused when i am like no really, dont bother, lets just have sex......

perfect smiley to go with that comment pepper lol!
Katiebelle. I've only got off from oral once in my life and that's 15 years of sex. It was quite a surprise when it happened.

I am turned on by the whole experience - by the feeling of the guy's hair brushing on my thighs and the idea of what he's doing and knowing he likes doing it, as well as the nice sensations - but I just need a bit more oomph to "get there". I try to look at it like a nice part of sex that I can enjoy, but I sometimes spoil it for myself by being paranoid that the guy expects me to come already. After all, they all seem to think they're the best in the world at it...

It's really nice just to be licked and played with if you can let go of the idea that you're supposed to be having an orgasm or supposed responding in a given way. Just enjoy how it feels.
Yeah I used to not like it because it doesn't usually make me come or anything and with most people it wasn't worth the bother of worrying that they were going to do it too hard or "nibble" me or whatever.

Ilike it now but it really is just a prelude.

I agree boys should get the vaccine too - and although cervical is the big one, there is penile cancer. As far as I know, HPV can cause cell change which makes whatever it is sitting on more vulnerable to cancers, etc.
Just throwing this out there!

I'm throwing a bachelorette party October 7th at my house and just wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions.

Here's what I'm having:

Chips, dip, cheese, crackers, lunchmeat, meatballs, rolls, Oreo’s and pound cake, cut up fruit.

Very spiked punch and buttery nipple shots, plain soda

Party Favors
Flavored lubricants, glow in the dark condoms, little candies in the shape of dicks etc. all from my local sex toy shop all in little bags with ribbons and stickers tongue.gif

Some silly games I found online to play

A chain with a shot glass attached for the bride to be to wear, pretty plates, cups and napkins

A gorgeous stripper dressed as a cop to "crash" the party or get it started biggrin.gif

Breakfast for next morning
Bagels, cream cheese, orange juice and Advil

All the girls pitched in to buy the bride a white lingerie for her wedding night, I personally got her three pairs of panties, one pink, one purple and one white with a train in the back that plays here comes the bride

Please let me know if I forgot anything or if anyone has any suggestions to make it more fun, cut some corners, or save me some money. We are splitting the cost of everything between the twelve of us. I’m up for any suggestions. The bride is a very, very good friend of mine and I just don't want her to be disapointed. sad.gif

Thanks! smile.gif
Pugs, my first suggestion would be to reserve the stripper right now if you haven't already. My sis threw a bachelorette party a couple of years ago and ended up asking me to find a friend who would strip for it, b/c all the professionals were booked up with other parties!! Who would have thought you have to get those guys so far in advance? (Could be an aspect of the regional market, though...)

Also, for that particular party I made a cock-n-balls cake! Frosted with a peach colored frosting, piped with veins, chocolate sprinkles at the base for pubes cool.gif A little nasty, but (so?) it went over well!

What you have planned already sounds great!

I already got the stripper covered. I was smart when it came to that. I reserved the guy I wanted weeks ago.

I through a sex toy party a few months ago and had a cock and balls cake and no one ate it cause they just didn't want cake. So I decided not to do a cake this time. I'm just going to have oreos and pound cake.

Thanks, I just really hope that she's happy with it. I'm putting a lot of time and energy into this.
Three Cheers for Mr. Pug! Not wanting to brag but my man is so f****** hot in bed. Oh My Gosh!!! I’m going to walk funny tomorrow I just know it. I’m really sorry. Postcoital bliss and all! biggrin.gif tongue.gif smile.gif blink.gif rolleyes.gif

Mr. Pug and I are seriously considering buying one for Christmas for ourselves. We are looking at the “Black Label Wedge/Ramp Combo”.

See link for picture and description. Liberator Black Label Wedge/Ramp Combo

I would really just like to know if anyone has tried this thing and if it really works as well as I’ve heard it does. It makes sense that it would help get the female hips into place to better stimulate the g-spot. Mr. Pug and I have tried stacking pillows and they just don’t hold their shape and we end up tossing them on the floor in frustration. They sell a less kinky model called the “Original Label”. I’d appreciate anyone’s feedback on the issue. I was considering opening a new thread but I haven’t done that yet and figured I’d throw it out their first. If I get a lot of good feedback about it I’m going to order it much sooner cause we are very excited to try it out.
No experience with it, but that looks awesome. Besides positioning you well for the old in-out-in-out, it would also be very handy to have around for oral sex positions. I bet it would let you get all kinds of creative. Do it! Merry merry Christmas.

ETA: the dude in that promo photo on the website is nasty.
Ew, Octinoxate, no kidding! Something about that profile reminds me of Leonardo DiCaprio's evil twin or something.

And now I am having horrid flashbacks to "The Man in the Iron Mask" ... Ew some more.
Ha! Maimy, I am laughing out loud about the Leo D. comparison. It's so right on!
um. has anyone out there dated a virgin?
Yeah baby! I'm proud to say I've de-virginized several guys--a couple were in hs but 2 have been more recently (I'm 23), one being the guy I'm with now. (Our 2-yrs is coming up.) He was 24 and a virgin when we met. Personally, I was thrilled, because it means I taught him everything he knows. He's not comparing me to anyone, not thinking of anyone else when we're nekkid (I hope!) and does things *just* the way I like 'em! Do you have a virgin on your hands?
yes i have a virgin - he apparently has already told his friends i am his girlfriend (which is another issue), but um....i'm just really nervous about this whole thing....not sure how to handle!
hey folks-not sure where to put this-my boyfriend's kinda lameass friend is getting married on saturday, and i want to give them some kind of "sensual basket" (that's what i'm calling it). she is pretty catholic and uptight, and he is a sexist horny perv.

i want to give them something that isn't raunchy or gross (cause of her) but that will encourage a healthy sex life. so far all i have on my mind is massage oils and one of those feather tickler things...i have no clue. any good websites out there? or other ideas? thanks smile.gif
ah, ok, good old good vibrations. now i want to spend about a grand on all of the cool stuff they have!!!!! man oh man they have a lot of nice stuff. waterproof vibes? chocolate licking sauce? oral sex game? wowzah!!!
Haha, i do the same thing, maddy, when i get on those kinds of sites. Sooo expensive though.

We don't have any good stores in my city.
maddy, you should get some of that-- oh crap, what the hell do they call it?-- honey body powder? Or something? It's part of a line that I think is called Kama Sutra (which is generally pretty classy looking and prob'ly a good bet for these folks).
maddy, i know what you mean! i can't go on any sex toy website without wanting everything i see. i also like early2bed (I've been eyeing the pam for ages), and babes in toyland (i want the orchid g, dammit!).

anyway, both sites have gift sets. early2bed has the kama sutra kit that includes the feather tickler and that honey powder octinoxate was talking about.
thanks! i did see the kama sutra stuff and thought it looked good....i'll check out early2bed.

seriously, i feel very lacking in the sex toy department. i have the same vibrator i got (from good vibrations) in college-in 1998. it's so great, i love it. but dang, there's so much fun stuff out there i didin't even realize!!!!!

i'm pretty interested in a vibrating cock ring. i think my boy is a bit nervous about it but sounds fun to me!
Maddy- perhaps in addition to the massage oils you could include one of those little books on erotic or sensual massage. (and maybe a CD?) I think that would be a lovely (and not too raunchy) present.

I also just received my new vibrating cock ring in the mail, we will most likely test it tonight. I'm going to review it in the "second helpings, the return of portions" thread. I'll let ya'll know how it goes!
ooh oooh ooh, yes, test it out! and report back! very exciting smile.gif

i'm getting some great ideas, thanks. the wedding is saturday but i think you can give them a gift after the wedding, right?

i wish i could have a sex room-like a whole room devoted to sex and sensuality-it could have a swing, some of those cool pad things to prop up on (that lovemypugs was talking about), different textures of surfaces, a big trunk full of toys, etc. mmm, fun.

god damn i'm horny. me and the boy are celebrating the elections tonight with bubbly and some good weed and food and a whole bunch of happy democrat-sex smile.gif hee.
hmm..I swear there was a literotica thread, oh well.
I found an old online journal entry of mine, which was a very detailed and well written account of some fabulous portions, and I thought to myself that it might actually be worth getting published if possible. Not to sound self righteous, but I think it is WAY better than some of the one-handed reads in Bust (especially the last one :\ {hope no one around here wrote it! sorry, but it was practically a turn OFF} ). But to be published anywhere reputable would be awesome...So I'm wondering if anyone knows where I should go with it? The problem with Bust is that I don't know if I can shorten it down to one page! And I don't want to post it on some open literotica site-I really think it's good enough to be put in a book or magazine. Any suggestions? Thanks!
hi, humanist! GREAT to see you!

waaaaaaaaaaay back, before the new lounge, maybe before the dingoes, there was a link where you could actually submit things to the one-handed read. my best guess would be to send a pm to loungelady, because she works for bust. i ought to do that, too. best of luck to you!!! let us know how it goes!
Humanist, there have been several fantasy threads over the years, I've started at least two of them myself, but for whatever reason they just don't survive anymore. Years back, they used to thrive, but it's been a while since a stories/fantasies thread really did well.

That said, if there were one again, I'd participate again ...
We really do need some sort of erotica thread. What happened to one handed reads?
Why don't we start a new one, if enough people are interested
I think another thread would be great if enough people want it, but honestly I'm hoping to find a way to get it published. I know there are many books out there-like Herotica, or Best Women's Erotica., which are book collections of women's erotic literature..if I can shorten it enough, I'd love to try for Bust..
Thanks ladies for the suggestions!
Hmm...I guess this the place to put this. What's the difference between porn and erotica? I know what it is, but I'm having trouble explaining it to a friend of mine who is adamant that it's the same thing. dry.gif
I would love to know how to twirl tassels and don't live in a city with classes. Can anyone give some suggestions?
Difference between porn and erotica? I guess I'd say erotica's more arty, but that's very vague and subjective, so I think everyone's definition is different. I think of erotica as more alluding to sex than porn, which is more direct. Sorry, that's the best I've got.

I'm going to cross-post this in the dream thread, but I thought I'd ask here, too. Every once in awhile, I have sexual dreams about something I have no interest in doing IRL, and in fact, I consider it to be pretty immoral (there's not much sexual stuff I consider to be flat-out immoral for anyone, so you know it's bad.) I wake up feeling turned on, though, and then gross and icky. Any suggestions on how to not have dreams about it anymore? I used to think I only dreamt about it when it had been awhile since I got any, so my brain was getting desperate, but last night I dreamt about it after just getting some. WTF?
it's the reptilian brain seeking out the most base experience to stimulate itself. i wouldn't take it personally, just chalk it up as one of those wacky dreams. you can't exactly change what you dream about, can you? better to try not feeling so terrible about it instead if you can.
i loathe porn, i think it's so very, very wrong, but that doesn't mean that my panties don't get damp when i see some. there is just a part of the brain that responds to anything sexual, anything at all.
How many women love to feel a mans cock moving in and out of her pussy more than masturbation? How many love the Taste of a mans cum? I love it! It's a bit salty but very pleasant.. How many do enjoy it?
Porn engages the body. Erotica engages the brain.

I don't happen to think either one is better than the other necessarily. But what goes into the making of the two is the same: Porn is made with bodies. Erotica comes with thought. So the goals and effects are markedly different.

Yes, pardon the pun. It was intentional - sorry ...
ok ladies, i need some advice. on saturday night i had sex for the first time in two years with a man who was very well endowed in both directions (long AND thick). naturally it hurt, being that i'd been sexually starving myself for two years and was probably as tight as ever. i want to continue seeing this guy, but my question is, is it going to continue to be painful? it definitely hurt when he'd go in deep and hit my cervix, and it took away a little bit from the experience. my last partner was no where near his size and so this was never a problem. what do you all think?
I was recently in a relationship with a guy who I would consider huge. I was actually really sore the days after the first two times we slept together (and he was shockd when I told him that). But after a few more times there was no pain. The initial pain for me felt like pulled muscles all over the place, so I'm assuming my muscles just got nice and loose. As for the deep, I would suggest trying to find a more comfortable position, I know there were some we avoided because it hurt too much but as long as I was vocal we were good.
erinjane, that is really good, sound advice!

i've had sexual relationships with several men with HUGE (both long and thick) cocks. (i actually BLED for 3 days after having sex with one of them!)

long was actually easier for me. i found that if we were in positions where *i* controlled the depth of the thrust, things were MUCH less painful (for example, any positions with me on TOP, also many sideways "scissor" positions worked well.

thick is more difficult. i would suggest taking your time and building up slowly to insertion, using LOADS of lube, much the way you might approach anal sex. except this is EASIER! we all know that the vagina can stretch -- think birthing babies. blink.gif

you might want to practice with larger sized dildos or other reasonable facsimiles of a huge dick, to get yourself comfortable with the idea as to how much you can take -- i've often found that if i know BEFORE HAND how much i am capable of taking, i relax and am actually able to do it with the real thing.

and of course, as erinjane rightly points out, communication with your partner is key. for pretty much ANY sort of issue in a relationship of any kind.

i'm sort of jet-lagged and avoiding working right now, so i'm not at my best for advice. if i think of anything else, i'll try to pop back in (i'm taking a much needed break right now). best of luck, and let us know how it goes!!!
In Girlistic Magazine, there's a sex advice column, "That Fucking Feminist," and someone asked her if they should use an oral numbing spray during oral sex. Her response was smart, and funny. Basically - no.
thanks for the reassurance! haven't seen him again since (he lives a few hours away from me), but i will definitely let you know how it goes next time. i think i'll make sure we have sex more than once; this past time it just hurt so badly the first time that i didn't even want to attempt again, even though i probably should have!!
Hi folks. An old friend just got in touch to say hello, and then eventually to proposition me to fool around with him and his wife. I'm sort of entertaining the possibility, but it also seems rife with potential problems. My biggest concern would be making sure that the wife is sincerely into the idea and not being pressured into it to appease her husband. Obviously lots of earnest conversation would be in order... I'm wondering if any of you have experience with this and would suggest specific topics to talk over with them, potential pitfalls I may not have considered, and so on. Thanks in advance!

The only thing I'd add to tesao's and erin's excellent advice about your situation, stutter, is this: relax! I know that since it has hurt in the past, you may be nervous and guarded... that'll guarantee that you keep having problems. Make sure y'all slow down and calm down smile.gif Just think back to the first time you ever had sex and follow the same advice given to people in that situation. Have fun! (After a while, it's truly lovely!)

ETA: Never mind about the threesome question. Both she and I have misgivings, so it ain't gonna happen.
hello all!
i was just reading about cockrings.
& i've got a couple questions.
do they really work?
would they go under or over a condom?

thanks in advance. biggrin.gif
octin-that's so great that you both talked and decided against it. good job for going with your gut. if both of you aren't sure, i think it probably would've been a big mess. do you feel like it was just this guy's idea, and that the wife wasn't into it at all? just curious, i'm recently intrigued by this whole swapping swinging threesome thing. i don't want to do any of it, but i'm interested in how it works, or doesn't work.

i want to get a vibrating cockring-they have them on for really cheap. but i've never used one so i have no clue. ooooh that would be a great christmas present for my boyfriend...
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