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You know what worlks for keeping weevils out of your flour? Put a bay leaf in, and it doesn't change the flavor of the flour.

Gack! That's one of my fears: getting to the bottom of a bag of flour and finding maggots. One of my earliest "making cookies with grandma" memories is tainted by it.

This is hardly gross, but since my skin leans more toward the dry and rashy rather than pimply I don't get that many zit-poppin' opportunities. I do get the same visceral pleasure from plucking my eyebrows, especially the stubby ones with a blob of keratin still attached. Even better is my one wild elbow hair. I have a lone, spiral-y hair that grows out of my left elbow that's great for plucking.
I used to be a home care aid and one of my clients had weevil maggots on a box of cerial. I poured her a bowl and there they were crawling around. When I shrieked she wanted to know what was wrong. I showed her and she sighed dissapointedly and said she wasn't having cerial for breakfat that morning. I kept thinking how awful it would have been if I hadn't seen them and fed her the cerial. What was worse was that she'd had that box of cerial for at least six months and she had eaten out of it prior to the weevil maggot situation. I and some of her other health aids had fed the infected cerial to her to her on more than one occasion. Which makes me wonder if the weevil maggots had erupted and been eaten before I noticed them.

I still feel guilty about the whole thing to this day.
i just pooped and i swear i saw some undigested red bell pepper....aaaagh! i just had to share with someone....
Years ago, I went to poo and when I got up to flush I noticed a lot of reddish, bloody-tissue-looking stuff in the poo. I damn near had a panic attack (OMG I'VE GOT TEH CANCERZ!!!11!) until I remembered that I'd eaten a whole watermelon the day before. Needless to say, that little episode put me off watermelon for awhile.
I too have seen random undigested stuff in my poo before. Corn and sesame seeds are always a guarantee - fortunately, I can do without corn, but I love toasted sesame in Asian food. There have been occasions of carrot, sun-dried tomato (disTURBing), regular tomato, raisin skin...thankfully, not all at once.
laugh.gif Ooooh...Talking about poop! Here's a fun story about something that happened to me a few months ago:

Ratboy and I were in Switzerland, visiting my sister and her family. We were there for a week; on our third day, I went running along the beautiful Rhine. The weather was great, and all was well...until about 10 minutes into the run, when I started having unbearable, I-need-to-shit-NOW cramps. So I slowed to a walk, and hobbled, ass tightly clenched, back to my sister's apartment. As soon as I got there, I ran for the toilet and let loose for the imminent explosion. And many similar explosions would follow shortly thereafter. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd had diarrhea like that. The real problem at that moment, though, was that my sister and Ratboy and I had planned to take a day trip into France, and I didn't want to be walking around a foreign city worrying about where the nearest toilet was. So I took 4 Immodium tablets (the maximum dose for one day), and that did the trick. We went to France and I had no more bathroom troubles.

But, the Immodium worked a bit too well, because I ended up not shitting at all for the rest of our stay there. In fact, I didn't even have the urge to do so until we were back home in the U.S.--5 days later. Then, the urge really hit, but...I couldn't go! I sat on the toilet, tried to relax, read my favorite books and magazines; yet nothing would come out. Meanwhile, my ass was actually starting to hurt from five days' worth of shit accumulation. I started getting scared that I would have a fecal impaction or--worse--a major bowel obstruction or (yikes--worse yet!) perforation that would require emergency hospital intervention. I finally went to the drugstore and bought a Fleet enema, which I administered to myself--fun! Shortly thereafter, the cramps began in earnest. I sat back on the toilet, and IT finally forced its way out. And it was so unbelievably painful, I started screaming like a woman in labor. Ratboy heard me from the other side of the door, and called, "Dear, is that you? Are you okay?" Me: "Not exactly!" When all was finally expelled, I had to use a plunger, as it was the largest shit I had ever seen. About the length and diameter of a large can of Bush's Baked Beans, if you can visualize that. I've never had a baby, but after that experience, I'm pretty sure I know how it feels to give birth, albeit from a different orifice. I was exhausted for the next couple of days, too!

Herculesgirl--one day about 15 years ago, I had multiple red shits. I totally convinced myself that it must be ass cancer, until I remembered that I had eaten a Greek salad--with beets--the previous day.
QUOTE(ratgrl @ Oct 17 2006, 09:26 PM) *

I finally went to the drugstore and bought a Fleet enema, which I administered to myself--fun! Shortly thereafter, the cramps began in earnest.

Next time try to drink chinese diet tea. OK I knwo this is like the 3rd or 4th thread in which I've mentioned it, but that thing REALLY makes you go to the bathroom. Right now I'm having cramps from it, and they probably hurt more than contractions!
I remember one night about 7 years ago, I had to make a late-night run to the grocery.

Got there, parked in a well lit spot, blah...blah...blah.

When I came back out, I popped the hatch and loaded my 3 or 4 bags into the back. Stepped around to the driver's door and....

POOP! ohmy.gif ohmy.gif ohmy.gif mad.gif

Yeah--right there on the ground, right next to my new (back then) car's driver's door, someone had taken THE BIGGEST SHIT OF ALL FREAKIN' TIME.

It was long, and wound around itself. It actually stuck straight fuckin' up in the air, too. ohmy.gif

Oh. My. God.

So, I went to the passenger side and crawled across! (In a Camaro, no less!)

I didn't back out, either---I drove straight the fuck up outta there. No shit on my new car. No sirree.

Dumbass muther musta been DESPERATE, or just bold as hell. Know what the worst part of it all was???

No toilet paper. Anywhere.

In high school, I got stuck working on a chemistry project with a group of people, one of whom was a very popular boy (he was pretty nice though, not a jerk) and we went to his house to work on the project. I had to use the bathroom, and I used the one he and his sister (who was away at college, so she wasn't around) shared. I went in and there was a chunk of poop in the toilet. I'm sure it was just part that didn't get flushed all the way, but it was kind of funny to think about going to school the next day and telling people. To quote Ferris Bueller, "It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

My mom has had a cellulitis thing on her face that showed up late last week. It started out as a little blemish-y thing, but after a day or two, it hurt more, and was swelling more. She couldn't tell if it was on the inside or outside of her cheek (if it was inside she thought it might be a blocked salivary gland or something) so she went to the urgent care facility. They told her it was cellulitis and gave her some antibiotics and told her to go to her doctor in a couple of days. She made an appointment for today with her GP, and had been taking the meds, but last night it hurt so bad and was throbbing and hot. So, she went in the bathroom, washed her face, then took some tea tree oil and wiped it all over the area, then used the TTO to clean a needle. She was just going to poke it a little. She said there's no "head" on it, but there's sort of a center, where it radiates from. So, she poked it, stuck the needle in a little further, a little further, surprisingly far...nothing was happening. So she pulled it out and gave it a little squeeze. She said about a teaspoon of blood and pus came out, red and yellow and green. She said it still hurt, but the throbbing pressure feeling went away. Today, the GP said that it needs a few more days to clear itself up or reach its peak before she'd attempt to drain it. Oh, I'm so disappointed that I wasn't there!

I found some really icky pictures when I Googled images of cellulitis!!
quietmadness...oh man, that is the sickest shit. i(pun? you decice.) t's like, if you're gonna do that, have at least some semblance of courtesy. sheesh.
My poop is disgusting. It's the really stinky, sludgy, thick and shapeless kind. And there is always this oily shitlike substance floating on the water above it. I have to flush like 5 times before it will actually go away and it still leaves shit reside in the toilet.

I don't get it. I eat salad and fruit and granola all the time. I'm a vegetarian. I think that even when I ate dairy, my poop wasn't as gross as it is now. It's only been in the last few years that it's gotten so nasty.
If you're worried about it, hello, you should post about it in the Everybody Poops thread (is that still around?) or better yet, the General Health Thread. Not to freak you out, but I think there was someone else around here who was a vegetarian and had seemingly good eating habits, and their poop was like that- I don't remember what the concensus was on what was wrong, but I think it was an issue.
OK I know at some point along the line someone all ready posted about Biore strips. I just ahve to rave for a moment... Triboy is the BEST. He lets me squeeze at the bacne and all that. But today he went out and got Biore strips for us as a surprise. And I got to pull all the blackheads out of his nose. It was AWESOME. It looked like a frickin' porcupine of pore cloggage! There were several that were a few millimeters long! And there's more there to get out in a few days when I get to do it again. So great! My nose on the other hand was nothing impressive. We were a little disappointed.

actually, youtube has way grosser ones (is that gramatically correct?)...such as...this:
hellotampon- as a veg your poop should stink less because you don't have flesh de-composing in your intestines. Your poop should not be that way.
I loved the zit movie Opossum, you rock!
thanks, dechatsrouge. isn't that nuts?! if you do a search in youtube for zits it comes up with all these "amateur" videos.

but the sebaceous cyst/tumor one really made my day.
I did somthing yesterday only the grossies would appreciate.

I was at the bus stop waiting for the bus home. On the ground near the bench was one of those Palmer brand chocolate coins with the Halloween themed wrapper. The wrapper was still on but it was lying on the ground. It had been lying there for some time because I had walked passed it several times that day. I had contemplated eating it but there was always some one around, so I couldn't do it without anyone seeing what a weirdo I am. I was finally alone at the bus stop later in the day, and that chocolate was looking pretty good. I looked around to see if any one was watching. No one was in eyeshot so I bent over, picked the still wrapped chocolate off the ground and ate it. When a girl came to the bus stop a bit later I wondered if she had witnessed my transgression. She didn't give me any looks so I think my secret is still safe.

No one can speak a word of this to my Mother.
The only reason that grosses me out is that I hate Palmer if it had been Godiva or something, I might have been tempted myself.
Weirdly, there is a study out there from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (From 2003 based on that old polite fiction known as the 'five second rule'. I think it was done by a high school kid on an internship, though.) that says women are more likely to eat food from the floor/ground than men. We're also more likely to ingest sweet things than say, broccoli. I couldn't personally eat candy from a bus stop, but I did find a sealed six pack of Bass Ale once when I was twenty that we enjoyed with no ill effects.
i think if it's sealed, it's totally fair game. an old roommate and i once discovered and entire flat of starbucks espressos in cans in the trash......and salvaged em, brought em home, and drank em up, and i'm still here to tell the tale.
Last week I attended a seminar about Jamestown. The first colonists there were really sick, and constipation was a side-effect of the medicine they took. Our presenter, who has been working with archaeologists on-site, had an image of a "tool" recently found that the colonists used to relieve constipation. It was a long, metal pole with a loop on one end and a flat rectangle on the other. I wanted to ask for specific details on how they used it- like, what part did the person hold, and what part was inserted- but was apprehensive to ask.

the mind boggles, pinkmartyr! i'm going to be thinking about that one for a while.......maybe they.....ew! OW!
I read that book Alive about the plane crash in the Andes a very long time ago, but I think I remember reading that constipation was a side effect of only eating other people, and that one guy used a stick to help move things along.
* Silently thankful for perdiem and prunes.*
Confession time: I have taken to searching YouTube for zit videos. unsure.gif And I must say I am actually a bit surprised at the number and variety of them.

It's also great for a vicarious thrill. None of the participants has mentioned anything stinky yet, though.
here you go, txplumwine-
I had my sister pop a zit on my back for me tonight. It hurt like hell, but not much came out. Just a little pus and then blood. Very disappointing, but at least it doesn't hurt so much.
i didn't wash my dishes for like three days--okay maybe longer, it's been a busy week--and when i finally went to tackle the job i found the end of an onion that had been sitting in the dirty water THAT HAD SPROUTED ROOTS.
Whoah, Brett! Thank you for posting that link. That totally made my morning before work today.

I have a zit/whitehead story.

For almost a year, I had this weird white spot on my back, just above my shoulder blade. My husband would check it out periodically, and I noticed that if I scratched it, it smelled a little funky, but it didn't go away. Husband tried squeezing it a few times but it hurt so bad I always made him stop.

Then, a few months ago, he tried again, and it didn't hurt. He squeezed and squeezed and a huge thick waxy chunk came out. It was yellowish, with a dark core. And it left a hole in my back!

Now every couple of weeks or so when he checks it (it still looks like a small hole) and squeezes it, a small amount of hard stuff comes out.

Nasty, right? I have a perma-whitehead there, I guess!
Star, I had a zit like that on my side. It was a beast to get out, and when I finally did, it was calcified. I rinsed the goo off the calcified part and examined it at great lengths. When all was said and done That pore looked like raw hamburger because I had poked and prodded it so much.

OTT: The other night Mrs. Rouge was having some unusually potent farts. So much so that she declared that her farts smelled salty.

I'm not sure a fart can smell salty.
I recently had a blackhead on the very edge of my lip that seemed to appear very suddenly. I popped it, and a thick waxy white chunk came out SO easily and there was no mark or hole or anything. I was so excited. I've never had any luck with the blackheads on my nose- I can sqeeze white strings out of them with a lot of effort, but the black spot stays there and it's just... anticlimatic.

I was trying to describe the lip-popping experience to my boyfriend and he just didn't get it. It was just SO satisfying.
hello, glad you had a good pop, or squeeze really. yeah the white strings are so ewwwwwww....
Oh I meant to come in and post about this the other day. But I think the day it happened the lounge was down and then I forgot.

So I had what looked like a little almost nothing kind of pimple on the side of my nose kind of where it hollows in a little. And I figured I'd get it before it turned into anything realy icky. So I squeezed and a little blop of stuff came out and so I squeezed again, figuring the first blop was it and then I'd get a little blood. Nope, another blop. So I did this about 4 times and then squeezed again figuring that would be the blood. Nope, it *squirted*! Not even just a little. It was a good sized splatter on the mirror. And then the squeeze after that pushed another larger mess of white creamy-solid goo mixed with clear stuff and a little blood. It was weird. Not all that painful. Not large. I don't know how all that fit in there without me noticing it more than I did.

Very satisfying though. And even better, after that it just scabbed over and hasn't given me a problem since.
My name is xxxxx and i'm a grody addict.
I recently got into the pants of a verrry cute young man with an impressive crop of pimples .... not the full pizzaface effect, just some nice ripening whiteheads around the chin and on his back ... I swear it was his spiritual and social qualities which appealed to me first but (at the bottom of my grody psyche) I'm sure the temptation of being allowed to squeeze 'em played a part in the attraction. (Good GOD I'm sick.)

And then ... he wouldn't let me play with 'em! I asked nicely and everything! And offered to wash my hands first! But no dice .... too much intimacy too soon I guess... but what a meanie...

He didn't mind me grooming out some dandruff though ... and once the scalp massage had sent him off to sleepyland I surreptitiously GOT ME one of those whiteheads. I was soooo tempted to carry on and do the whole lot (he was fast fast asleep after all) but I realised if he woke up spotless there would be some pretty obvious conclusions to be drawn.

what is happening to me? must.stay.out.of.this.thread....
Why leave viajera and be a weirdo out there when you can stay and be completely normal in here.

*Realizes that may have sounded totally creepy.*

Anyway, welcome to the grossies club!

*hands viajera a whiskey on the rocks and a cigar.*
Grossies! I have missed you. I just wanted to let you know about my post-Thanksgiving dinner shit.

It was like mud, and pure magenta, just like the roasted beets I ate.
QUOTE(hellotampon @ Nov 10 2006, 05:12 PM) *

I read that book Alive about the plane crash in the Andes a very long time ago, but I think I remember reading that constipation was a side effect of only eating other people, and that one guy used a stick to help move things along.

Eee-he-he-he-ewwwww! That's gross (and strangely fascinating). Now I want to read it.
Thanks Brett! It's so good not to be alone...

And on that note, stick around, Viajera, I *swear* we'll make you feel MORE normal, not less. smile.gif

Great story, Angelle! That sounds impressive.

I got to work on GameBoy's ingrown hairs with the tweezers last night. Yay! He also had this hard-centered thing on the outside of his ear, which I tried to get, but he ended up hollering like a bitch, so there was only a tiny bit of semi-solid white stuff. Though I did remove a satisfying blackhead from the back of his neck. biggrin.gif

In other news, his nose beard has reached critical mass again, and I am bugging the shit out of him to fix it.
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Nov 3 2006, 01:29 AM) *

Weirdly, there is a study out there from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (From 2003 based on that old polite fiction known as the 'five second rule'. I think it was done by a high school kid on an internship, though.) that says women are more likely to eat food from the floor/ground than men. We're also more likely to ingest sweet things than say, broccoli. I couldn't personally eat candy from a bus stop, but I did find a sealed six pack of Bass Ale once when I was twenty that we enjoyed with no ill effects.

laugh.gif laugh.gif you found it?? tell me where you live, dear, so I can move there!
i have to say.....i don't share in the desire to avail myself of OTHER people's grossies (not that i think any less of you fine gross folk for wanting such a thing). i'll stick to my own, thanks.

speaking of my own, today my attention was drawn to a rather large and purplish bump in a delicate area. this had been a known site of a previous ingrown hair, which i thought i had taken care of. apparently i hadn't, since some excavation revealed about an inch-long hair AND more pus than i have ever seen come out of my body at one time anywhere, ever before. it was painless and didn't smell like anything, light-yellow in color and after a few squeezes became mixed with thin blood. but SO MUCH OF IT. and now the bump is gone. and of course, the entire time i was tending to it i was thinking "oh man, i gotta tell the grossies about this" biggrin.gif
Ooh, I haven't had a good one to share for a while...
While dealing with an ingrown hair (very anticlimactic) on mr. llamas' head last night, I noticed what appeared to be two large blackheads next to each other below his ear. Of couse I squeezed, and only one chunk of hard brown stuff came out. Not white with a brown tip, solid brown. Even more interesting, it seems that the two pores are connected in kind of a horizontal channel under the skin's surface, which is what made the single blackhead look like two separate ones. Has anyone else had this?
interesting llamas....i've never seen anything like that i want to.


some of you may have heard of my cat jake's puncture wounds...he got in a fight with our new cat and she bit him quite a few i've been checking them to make sure they aren't abcessing....well...

one had a small pea sized lump under it...and jake is a love so i sat him on my lap and proceeded to squeeze (no complaint from him)....a small, whitish blob appeared. and i've had no problem with that area since....however...he's got a huge lump on his neck....think large lima bean size...and it might be coming to a head...dunno...i've got to call the vet and see if he wants to wait it out or just put in a shunt and see what comes out.

needless to say, i've completely satisfied with my cats eye boogers....jake has one blobby one and molly has red tinged ones.....

oh and i got a good one on the hubby a while back...right on his side near his waist....pea sized lump....i pressed and got major pus coming out...followed by a bit of blood....he yelled 'ow' really loud..but it was done....
and here i thought i was the only one who hates the dandruff. or likes, in a sick way. when i was younger, and still upon occasion, i would pick at my mom or sister's scalp, or post-sun tan sloughing skin. i just can't stand things that are caked or things that peel. i could never get into zit popping or scab picking though...
I just don't care. Dandruff, whiteheads, blackheads, ingrowing hairs, sunburned shreds ... mine or someone else's ... just bring 'em on.

Either my DNA is more % primate than I thought, I'm regressing to my inner ancestral chimp, or I really really should have gone to med school in order to earn big big bucks as a dermatologist. In my real life, people just think I'm sick.

ohmygod i just popped a pimple on my labia (is that okay for singular or only plural???), which is making me pretty happy because i felt the bump a couple of times and thought of all the horrible and fatal diseases that might have caused it. i'm grossed out but relieved. thanks for letting me share.
viajera, you may want to look into becoming an esthetician....where you get paid to pop peoples zits....i'm looking into it as well......

Okay this was posted by someone else on a different message board, but I have to share:

"Holy shit. As I've probably said about a jillion times, I'm a nursing student. Today I was taking out stitches for the first time, with my instructor standing there watching me. It was for a woman with a vertical abdominal incision who was ready to go home. I took out alternate stitches (took out every other one so there wasn't too much pressure all at once) and then worked on the rest. I took out the second last one when OHMYGOD. Her incision split open. All of her abdominal organs spilled out; intestines, bowel, everything. My instructor jumped into action and I ran for help (she later praised me on being 'calm, cool, and collected'). Even SHE had never seen this happen in her entire nursing career. They took the woman to the operating room within 15 minutes but maaan, I was so high on adrenaline after that. I was so shaky. I'm glad I looked calm though because I was just freaking the hell out in my mind. I didn't want to scare the patient though (although if that was me, having my insides fall out would be scare enough). I still can't even believe it happened. It seemed like this should only happen in movies or something, haha."

Also, I have a zit in the INSIDE of my nostril. It's red, with a white head, but it's too painful (and awkwardly located) to pop, although it would be perfect because you'd never see a scar.

Yesterday after taking a shower I had sex, and this morning, before my shower, I was laying on my stomach and my boyfriend was absently picking at the top of my buttcrack (yeaaaahh...) and he showed me the sex crusties that he found there. And they say that relationships fizzle without a little "mystery"... pshaw!
I have a cousin who is about 8 now and he was born with Downs Syndrome. One of the side effects of Down Syndrome is having an underdeveloped digestive system. He was born without a rectum. So when he was a infant, maybe 2 weeks after he was born, they had to create a "stoma"- they attached the end of his intestine (or whatever the "end" of his digestive system was) to the front of his stomach, just under his belly button, and that's where his poop would come out. It was temporary, until he was older and could withstand a more complex surgery of having a rectum created.

So, the way they'd diaper him was to use diapers bigger than what would be the normal size for him and stick a heavy flow pad (like the horrible mattress-thick cheap ones they sell in women's bath rooms, but they'd serve his purpose better than they've ever served me!). Anyway, because there was no sphincter muscle around the hole to hold everything in, they warned his parents that one day they could open his diaper and find that his guts had gotten pushed out through the hole, like inside out from themselves. They told them not to panic if it happened, to just call 911 and it was a relatively easy procedure to put them back in.

Can you imagine going to change your kid's diaper and all of their innards are RIGHT THERE?!?! I think they were lucky enough that it never happened, and he has since had the other surgery, so everything's back where it should be. He just has a little scar on his belly.
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