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that is really sick....I'm sorry someone actually told you that. Funny thing is he is probably the guy that you had to convince yourself to give a chance to. rolleyes.gif
Hm. I got an almost-marriage proposal on a first date once. We were driving by a marquee that said "Congrats Mike and Amy on your Engemnt!" (They ran out of space.) He looks at me and says with puppy-dog eyes: "Too bad you're not Amy and I'm not Mike."

He got a handshake instead of a goodnight-kiss.

When I was a teenager my date got jealous and gave me the silent treatment when some Richard Marx song came on the radio --it was the mid-Nineties-- and I said that I thought that he had a sexy voice. Yeah. ...Though even that was not too bad considering some of what everyone here has heard. At least I could just never speak to this guy again and not have the lingering image of a toad asking me to get a "porn star" body for him. My sympathies!
"you're hot, but you'd be so much hotter if you weren't so angry."

this, after literally, LITERALLY saying two sentences to this dude i had just met.
ccl - ugh. that's like if you are walking down the street kinda in your own world and someone says "smile!!" or "you'd look nicer if you smiled!" fuck off.
i HATE that shit so much, 'you'd look nicer if you smiled!' as if i was put on this earth to look hot for you! give me a fucking break.

this isn't so much an idiotic thing, just annoying. i get this all the time because i have a boyfriend:

some loser: hey, do you mind if i buy you a drink?

me:yeah, i have a boyfriend, i don't think it'd be a good idea.

loser:i don't see him around anywhere. what he doesn't know won't kill him. OR, he doesn't have to know, OR, i won't tell if you won't tell.

AARGH, so gross and annoying. what makes you think that i would EVER cheat on my boyfriend with you?!! when i was single, i used to lie and say i had a boyfriend anyway. then they would keep pushing and pushing and pushing, i finally exploded at this one guy and said, 'look, you're right, i don't have a boyfriend. i was just trying to spare your pathetic little feelings because i would NEVER be caught dead in public with a slimey, overly-aggressive troll like you. are you happy now? please, do fuck off!'
QUOTE(dj-bizmonkey @ Dec 24 2007, 10:34 AM) *
'look, you're right, i don't have a boyfriend. i was just trying to spare your pathetic little feelings because i would NEVER be caught dead in public with a slimey, overly-aggressive troll like you. are you happy now? please, do fuck off!'

that is straight rockstar. what happened after that?

zoya, i get that shit enough, too, in the mall and whatnot. i need to think of a witty retort, because "fuck you" just doesn't encompass all i would like to say.
oh his reaction was brilliant......'bitch.' and then he walked away. sorry buddy, i guess the truth hurts!
her polythene bag
Here's another one from the fat little troll who wanted me to get a porn star body for him --

I'd moved to another city for a brief spell and was terribly homesick. One night while talking to him on the phone, I started to cry because I missed him and missed home. His response? "It's really unattractive when you cry." Think I need to play out some attachment-disorder psychodrama shit during that period of my life.
god, i love that! genius. people who don't take the first "no" for an answer are fucktards.

i, too, get "you'd be pretty if you smiled" way too much. first of all--that's a fucking backhanded compliment if i ever heard one, because by that logic, you're calling me ugly. secondly--yeah! i BET you'd find me more attractive if i actually paid attention to you! there's a REASON i'm not smiling, asshat.

seriously, take a FUCKING hint and run with it, PLEASE.
Ooh! Ooh! i've got one--

I was out at a bar dancing tonight, and found myself sucked into this conversation:

GUY: You're beautiful.
ME: Thank you.
GUY: Are you from around here?
ME: Yes, I am.
GUY: Can you help me find an apartment?
ME: Um. You could try craigslist.
GUY: Come on baby, I know you got good credit. I need you to help me out. I wanna do business with you. I know you know people!

bahahahah octi that's awesome. i love when guys make ridiculous assumptions based on absolutely NO fact. the other night i got told i had "dominant genes".
So did he want you to loan him the money or something? What's that about?
i'm not really sure WHAT he wanted! i think he was suggesting that i either 1.) find him an apt and put the lease in my name, or 2.) move in with him. !?

ha! i like the dominant genes line.
oxi, i have to comment here, what is it with guys that do no know you at all calling you baby? i am not your baby and there is only one man who can say that and it is not some cheesy dumbass i do not know.

*back to lurking*
so true! the other day i was at the damn GAS station and some guy (seeing me going up to the door) says to me, "it's closed, baby." alright, hon.
i am only bothered by people calling me baby if they are creepy, gross men who are hitting on me. maybe it's because i'm from the south, but i'm accustomed to being called baby, sugar, mama, sweetheart, honey and so on, by all manner of folk. i only find it offensive when i think the person is coming on to me.
to me, it depends on the context. Sometimes, as bizmonkey says, it's just in the local lexicon to call someone "honey," "sugar," "sweetheart," "love," etc. I can handle that - but the thing I can't handle is when it's said by some guy when I'm in a work situation. To me, that comes off as condescending and like they're being patronizing. ie: "alright love, you try it your way..." Seriously makes my blood boil...
her polythene bag
"Sweetheart" is the one that's most often used in a negative context. I've started using it myself when dealing with assholes. Steam practically comes out of their ears, they get so pissed. Great fun!
Yes, Sweetheart and sweetie have to be the most condescending words to call someone unless they are your spouse, or loved one. I worked with a b**** not too long ago, she thought she knew everything. And when you would contradict what she was saying (and be right!) she was quick to call you SWEETIE or SWEETHEART... OOOOOOOOh it made my hair stand on end, I wanted to punch her in the nose.

I use "Sweetie" with my students sometimes, usually when I am pointing something out to them. Like, "You need to open your book to p. 636 Sweetie." They are used to it I guess. Never had a complaint, but I have a pretty good relationship with my students.

I understand not appreciating it with creepy guys, though.
Gawd, that "Smile" thing! While carrying my groceries across a parking lot a while ago, I got that from a guy in a group. I was in a MOOD, so I had the huevos to turn around and yell at all of them "Do you say that to men, too? Or just women?". They all kinda shrunk.
one day i was walking in a through town in the summer, and this scruffy sort of looking guy i was walking by said "baby, its hot outside and you look like a tall glass of lemonade!"

while i didnt quite find this offensive as much as hilarious, i still wish i had thought to say something rather than just hold back laughing smile.gif

my friend said i should have said "I'm not that tall" in response tongue.gif
I was walking downtown and this middle-aged panhandler told me "You sure have got some pretty green eyes on you." After an awkward pause I had to inform him that they are brown. Seriously they are very dark brown - very hard to mistake for green. It was really hard not to laugh though.
A PLATONIC friend said to me, out of the blue,

"I am horny. Can I lick your clit?"

Um....WHAAA???? rolleyes.gif
Not from a date, but something a really creepy slimy douchey coworker told me with utter seriousness... in the midst of a conversation in which he asked me and another woman "which race we preferred":

"See, everyone has a preference. White women are most attracted to black men and white men are most attracted to Asian women... but we're ALL attracted to Latinos."

My very first boy friend told me after I had cut off a good deal of my hair (Mind you, because I donated it to locks of love) that I "looked like a boy trying to look like a girl." dry.gif

Needless to say that relationship didn't last long.
wow, where to begin.

Bad date story: there was a guy who spent 45 minutes going on and on about "you know I go to Georgetown Law, right, well the thing is that's hard to understand about Georgetown Law, unless of course, you go to Georgetown Law, is that..." Blah blah blah. Perhaps he noticed my eyes glazing over though I doubt it, I think he was just running out of breath, but finally he said, "I'm so sorry to go on and on about Georgetown Law, it's just you have no idea what it's like to have spent the past three years of your life in a law library!"

"Tell me about it!"

"Wait, you're in law school too?"

"No, I'm a f***ing law librarian." Which he might have known, if he'd bothered to ask me one question in the first (and last) hour of our acquaintanceship.


As for street harrassment, I get a bunch of dumb comments from people because I'm usually on a bike. "Can I ride you," etc. It's pretty great.

What pisses me off the most is the commentary you get from men in the biking community.

One guy in full out spandex gave a condescending nod at the gold sequinned hobo bag dangling from my handlebar and said, "nice purse sweetie."

"Nice tights, a**hole" I tossed off without thinking.

Then there was the guy who yelled, "wear a helmet!" to which I yelled back, "wear a shirt!"

Note: I do wear a helmet 100% of the time now. I can't remember why I didn't have one on that day but it was a rarity and you know what, I just didn't feel like hearing it from that guy! Men are always SO SHOCKED when you have a comeback. You know that they are just pedaling towards you, gleefully anticipating the moment they can put a pretty, happy, independant woman in her place. It's fun to outgun them.

I have to say that when men say things to me on the street that don't seem condescending or rude, I still "holla back" but in a much friendlier way. For example, the one guy who pan handles near my building said, "my you sure are looking cute today." I smiled and said, "with all due respect sir, I look cute every day." He just threw his head back and laughed with me.

I've really enjoyed reading this thread, both the entertaining and appalling moments alike (though I am still cringing over "handi", I really hope that man learns some sensitivity somehow.)
text today from guy I randomly hooked up with this weekend (first time I've heard from him since)

"warm thoughts for you"


wtf does that mean? uh, why not "wanna go to dinner?" (he said he wanted to take me to dinner) or um.. anything less cheesy and random?

1) I didn't respond

2) I found out today that saturday night (Bear in mind that he did not leave my place until 4 pm on Saturday, after getting it on most of the night Friday and into the afternoon on Saturday) He totally chatted up a friend of a friend of mine, then met her for coffee on Sunday. at which point she said she realized he was a self absorbed idiot.

all I have to say is - if you're not playing, you can't get played. and i'm sooo not playing. ha

He is a hottie, though. tongue.gif

Also warm thoughts for you sounds like it should be printed in red shiny calligraphy on this card:

...maybe that's where he got the sentiment.... hah
stupidest and funniest thing i ever heard ( my husband said this when we were dating) was "i love you so much i have a boner." ohmy.gif
QUOTE(buryaflower @ Jul 4 2008, 05:19 AM) *
stupidest and funniest thing i ever heard ( my husband said this when we were dating) was "i love you so much i have a boner." ohmy.gif

Hahah, I would've married him too. For comic value if nothing else
QUOTE(sareybelle @ Jul 2 2008, 04:13 PM) *
As for street harrassment, I get a bunch of dumb comments from people because I'm usually on a bike. "Can I ride you," etc. It's pretty great.

You should show them your middle finger and say "ride THIS, asshole." haha
this guy on the side of the road selling bottles of water, yelled at me over 4 lanes of traffic, hey baby can i f*ck you!
I tend to be a magnet for old men. I don't know what it is, except that I'm a sort of fat/plump girl with big boobs, dark hair, kind of archy brows, so maybe they see Liz Taylor. (At least, that's what I hope they're seeing!)

Two stories: years ago, I'd just joined a gym after not working out for a long while, so I was kind of anxious about going. But I got myself there one afternoon after work, got myself on a stationary bike and started doing my cardio workout. Up comes this WW2 vet, in cut off sweats, which just highlight his wrinkled, veiny old legs. He sits on the bike next to me and proceeds to tell me a bunch of WW2 stories because, like, I'm the only woman and he's the only man in the vicinity. So of course he's going to sit right next to me. Now maybe some of you might be ok with a cute old WW2 vet sitting on the bike next to you and regaling you with stories. But I'm one of those weirdos who doesn't like to talk while working out, so it really bugged me and I just wanted to be left alone. It was shortly after that incident that I purchased my iPod and now will not venture out to the gym without it.

Story two: I'd just gotten my hair done and was coming out of the salon all bouncy and blowdried, feeling good about myself, when this old guy in his 80s approached me and said "how ya doin', honey?" I guess I must have been in a *very* good mood because I hesitated just long enough for the old guy to take my arm and tell me how cute I looked. I thanked him, and he continued to compliment me: I had a nice smile, my cheeks were so rosy, etc. I started feeling very self-conscious which was making me nervous, and when I get nervous, I usually engage in nervous laughter. Which I did, and the old guy promptly shushed me, as if *I* was doing something wrong, and pulled me by the arm further away from other people. He then asked if he could kiss me, and I guess I was so flustered by the whole experience that I let him get away with it. Fortunately, he just kissed me on the cheek, but then he had the audacity to ask if I'd like to have dinner with him some time, and I just couldn't do it. I gracelessly got away from him, which I still feel bad about (I mean, it's obvious he was a lonely old guy), got in my car and drove away.

I wish I had some funnier stories to tell. I'm sure a couple of ex-boyfriends have said some funny stuff, but I can't seem to think of any at the moment. I'll have to think on it for a while.
I was in a bus and some random guy was standing next to me (it was quite busy on the bus). And (I get this a LOT) he said out of the blue: "you look hot, but would be looking even hotter if you had a smile on your face". I didn't even reply and just gave him a frown dry.gif after which he said: "does this mean we're not going to f***?

Excuse me... where did that come from??? I was so thrown I don't even know what my face looked like after he had said that.
omg, dutchess, i get that shit a lot. "you'd be pretty if you smiled more". it's bullshit and it's backhanded (technically, they're saying youre not really that pretty because you're not smiling) and it reeks of that pickup artist shit where they're supposed to subtly insult you the first ten minutes. ridic.
mouse-- that's like that article that starship posted in the feminist outrage thread. i can't believe guys think saying such shit is a good idea. the woman who wrote the article seemed to blame herself but some of the things her dates would say to her deserved not just a drink in the face but a slap if not an asskicking....
And why the hell do guys who say that think it's ok to demand a smile? As if we 'owe' them, or they can control our emotions. I used to get that a lot when I was a pre-teen. I'd be standing on the corner, waiting for the bus and some guy would walk by and say, "hey, smile, sweetie!" or "give me a smile." I don't get that too much any more, I think because I just naturally have a 'fuck you' face and they tend to leave me alone. Must have developed after years of being told to 'smile, sweetie!'
yeah, i think i have a permanent fuck you face. my resting facial muscles make me look pretty stern--people always ask me if i'm okay or if i'm sad or mad or whatever when i'm just not having any expression at all. but regardless, that's no excuse to make me change my expression to your liking. fuck off.

i know they like to think they're complimenting, but there's a vast difference between saying "you're really pretty when you smile"/"your smile is really pretty" and "you'd be pretty IF you smiled".
Yeah, I never see people standing around randomly smiling at nothing. So why is it I'm expected to do the same, especially when some stranger tells me to?

My face normally looks stern too, mouse, and I get people asking me what's wrong, if I'm depressed, or occasionally, I'm too pretty to have problems. Kinda annoying and rude, especially the latter. For all they know, I could have gotten fired from a job or my dog could have died yesterday.
OMG I hate that "smile, sweetie" thing. Whenever the guys at work say that to me, I say, face hurts when I smile. fuck off. Heh. They let me get away with it but they STILL do that "smile" thing. Bah.
The smile thing bugs the crap out of me, too. But, when someone tells me "you should smile," I think to myself "you should bite my ass," so I end up grinning.
Something that really annoyed me when I was in HS was when guys would hold out their arms expecting a hug. When I wouldn't do it, I'd get teased about being 'cold'. Well, bite my frigid ass.
not a date thing, but hinging on to the 'smile!' idea, i hate it when folks at work walk by my desk and say, 'wake up!', and i'm like, my eyes are open, and i'm typing something (sometimes on bust!), what are you talking about??
anna k
People at work do that to me too! I can be sitting in front of the computer and someone will pass by and do that, to be cute or funny.
Oh god, where do i begin?

I was dating a guy for a few months & he would never come over to my house until like 11 at night. He'd call me at 5 or so & be like "Im on my way over." Six hours later, he rolls into my driveway. When I questioned where the fuck he had been he would give me the most fucking bizzare answers like "I passed this cave on the way over & I just had to go explore it." or "there was this field with a huge tree in it that I wanted to climb."

Then one night after we had sex he went into my kitchen to get a drink. After 5 minutes, when he didn't come back to my room, I went in there to see what was keeping him. & there in my livingroom he's standing behind this huge plant in the corner.

me: "What the FUCK are you doing"
him: "I can see the whole room from here"

The he proceeds to sit on my couch & "center himself."

Ok I have one more that I can think of(same guy). We had just got done having sex(reoccuring theme). We were laying there on my bed & I was rambling about how it would suck if aliens abducted us or something(yeah i'm random) and he goes "dont say that."

I'm sorry, WHAT?

At this point, I should have known the relationship was over but instead I said, "why?"

Him: "I remember once when I was a kid, at our house in New York I was outside one night. Everyone was asleep and I was standing in the front yard and it was snowing-but it wasn't real snow, it was ashes or something. Then I was in this man's house across the street and all I remember was there was this BIG bowl of ice cream just sitting there in his livingroom and I couldn't figure out why he would leave that bowl there. I dont think anyone was home. But I dont want to talk about that anymore...


a.)what the fuck did that have to do with alien abductions

top that shit...
gardenpartyy - Welcome to Bust. Now, I hate to do this, but for your admissions fee to the board you must learn the rest of that ashes/ice cream story and share it with us. Otherwise it is going to bother me for the rest of my life. blink.gif

Christine Nectarine
now i know we've all had the random guy(s) yelling out the window of his car at you...always a frustrating situation, since there is no chance to retort when they're driving away.
a little while ago, i was walking down the sidewalk in the pouring rain. this car load of 20-something guys drives past POINTING and LAUGHING at me (because i have to walk and they don't i guess?)

i can usually brush off the occasional "your hot!" or what ever, but this experience actually made me feel rather miserable and pathetic. and i like walking in the rain!
Oh my god Christine Nectarine that story made me feel bad for you! Who the f* does that to someone? What is there to point and laugh at anyways? I swear guys would do something that f*ing retarded and not even think that it was actually quite rude.

Gardenparty that is the most messed up shit I've heard yet! I'm sorry but I couldn't help but laugh while reading that post thinking... what the f* is next???? I mean seriously did this guy even realize he was on planet earth at the time? Sounds like someone little voice was calling him back home.

I don't have much for a story to top after reading those 2 but I remember a second date I went on before I got remarried. My friend's friend decided to email me (he took my email from one of my friends emails he sent to a bunch of us) and asked me out on a date. Well it took me a while to decide if I wanted to go out and I thought I should talk to my friend first so I asked him what he thought (I was secretly hoping my friend would say well you shouldn't because I like you, but that's a different story). My friend tells me "well he's not an axe murderer or anything!" I was like huh? I expected oh he's an asshole, or a nice guy... not axe murderer. I should have known that was not a good idea. I decided to go out with the guy anyways, so he takes me to a bar... great second date, after I had told him I wasn't in the mood to go. We go anyways and my friend is there so we hang out and the guy takes off into the bar somewhere??? Later on and a few drinks later he is hitting on me like crazy I guess thinking that I'm going to start making out with him or something? Finally we leave and a fight ensues in his car! The whole ride home was a complete angry argument about helmet laws when riding a motorcycle and him smoking in the car. I was totally shocked and then to end this completely f*ed up night.... as I'm leaving the truck he leans in for a kiss. Ok..... negative there buddy, I opened the door pretty quickly and bolted for my apartment. What kind of brains does it take to realize that arguing with a chic all night is not going to get you any kind of action?
Christine, it sounds like that guy was ON DRUGS without the pills, if you know what I mean. That's some pretty strange shit, right there. (And, btw, did you think to smell your houseplant after he got done standing behind it? Whatdya wanna bet he was peeing back there? Gross, I know, but sometimes guys do dumb shit like that.)
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