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The guy I "dated" when I was 13 who put his arms around me and said, "Damn you're fat!"

This isn't even worth a WTF it's worth a WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!
thought of this the other day when i was painting the rim by the ceiling in the nursery.

said about 2 years ago by a drunk who was obnxiously admiring me.

"damn girl, you are hot! you would be perfect if you weren't so pale and so tall. you are like, too damn tall, damn."

i am 5'11''
If that's not going to pick up the chicks, then I don't know what else would!

I'll start asking my ladyfriends if they have any other memorable quotes from this guy. I KNOW there's more!

QUOTE(maimy @ Jul 12 2007, 06:54 PM) *
Anode and Magrathean, welcome. I was going to say I liked Anode's sig, but Magrathean, I have to tell you the imagery of your second quote down there has my head *spinning* right now. (And the inevitable response, I assume, was, "Why YES, Worm Poops, I'd LOVE to invite you into my crotch tonight!!" Yes? ... No ... ?? Oy gevault.)

so i was at the annual beer garden last weekend with my girlfriends when this random creeper of a guy walks up to one of my friends and starts talking to her. he told her that he liked her style and she was pretty, but she had a big nose (its pretty normal size, but shes super self conscious about it) so then he was like "oh shit im being rude, sorry, heres $100" then he wouldnt leave her alone but couldnt stop himself from telling her about her big nose many more times...
he ended up giving her $200. dumbass!
A couple of years ago, my boyfriend and I were chatting in bed after a night spent fooling around. We were talking about mutual friends when he says, "My friends talked about it and we decided that your sister is cuter than you."

Another time, he told me that he didn't know if I was cute enough for him to date until he saw me in a swimsuit because I wore "too much clothes." At the time, I wore a lot of t-shirts and denim capris--we're not talking niqabs here!

I told him once that a lot of boyfriends make a point to only say complimentary things to their girlfriends. He looked at me, all wide-eyed innocence, and said, "You don't want me to lie to you, do you?"

I never did figure out how much of his stupid stuff was being socially retarded (which he was), and how much was being a troll in real life.
So I tell the guy that I'm talking to right now that one of the reason's why I left my longterm boyfriend was because for christmas one year I was given a gift certificate for a boob job. I love myself the way that I am, and that was the moment that I realized that he was a superficial jerk.

Well, new guy and I went to the beach yesterday and he sees this chick with her boobs popping out of her suit. He says "I don't know why she's doing that, she doesn't even have any boobs!"

I say "HA! That girl has great boobs! And what do you mean they're nonexistent? She has bigger boobs than I do."

To which he replies "Yeah you probably should have taken that gift certificate and at least gotten a B-cup."

I made sure to point out that he's the first uncircumcised guy that I've ever messed around with and it wasn't 'too weird'. rolleyes.gif
Okay, so not necessarily one thing...sort of a punchline to a joke.

Met this guy through a friend... he's taking pictures of said friend during a karate demo/dedication to a master thing-y. We all (*huge* group of people I dont know) go to a bar/restaurant and hang out for a few hours. I sit with the guy, start a conversation, etc. We all go home... say goodbye, never think I will see him again, don't really care. He was nice, but nothing special. (I want to note that I dominate in conversations... with quiet folks and even chatty folks...however, most people still talk, I just talk more. He didn't say much of anything, and had opportunity...shy? Maybe...who knows.)

Fast forward a few months. See guy in the supermarket, on line next to me. Look right at him and say, "Hey, I know you right? You're ***** friend? I want to say your name is Billy, because you look like a Billy to me." (he looked like a guy out of a movie of the 1950's...very American apple pie) Tells me his real name. I am almost out the door, then pause, and say, "We should exchange numbers...we could hang out sometime, get a bite to eat", etc. I walk outside, wait for him...he comes out, grabs his bike, we walk a few blocks, I get his number, we part ways. A couple of weeks go by, and one Friday, I'm bored, call him, see if he wants to go see a play in NY. He says he's broke, too expensive (we were both out of work at the time) and I say it's okay, I'll pick up the tab and it's not expensive. He doesn't want to see a play. He wants to see a movie. We spend a ridiculous amount of time on the phone deciding which movie. We make arrangements. I run late, call him, have him read the menu (didn't want to miss the movie) ordered something. I am dressed in a casual skirt, blouse, sandals, no makeup. I don't look like I'm going on a date, just having dinner with a friend. (Note: When I mentioned that we should hang out, I made sure to make it sound "friendly" not come-on-y.) The first thing I said when I saw him, and this came out wrong was, "Wow, I can't believe you're wearing a long-sleeved shirt." It was 95 degrees that day, and really sticky. He says, "I just wanted to wear a nice shirt okay?" I apologize and just say it's so hot, I just don't know how he's not dying of heat. (I'd also like to say that during our time on the phone, I mentioned a few times how incredibly hot it was and I was running around all day, my air conditioner isn't working, etc. I thought he'd be able to relate...people were melting everywhere, y'know?)

Conversation during dinner is okay. We go see the movie...joke around on the way. It was nice enough, not really flirtatious. Movie was good. We get out, it's raining, we duck and run, duck and run. I wanted to go to Billy's Bakery and we were about 10 blocks away (further??) I buy cupcakes. We pop into a diner, get coffee, talk for a few hours about his life...his whole life. We head back to our city. Once back, I realize, where will we eat cupcakes? I say (since we are closest to his place, mine is a mess, and quite a distance from the train station) that we should go to his place and eat them. We get there, talk, eat, he takes a couple of pictures of me. He says, during dinner and after, that my skin is very nice. I had a little tan. We are sitting on his couch, talking. You know how a person glances around a room and their eyes fall on things naturally? So I look down, and there, in the space below a little coffee table is a sheet of paper. I read it out loud, not really paying attention to what I am reading. "My sexual habits for the week of_____" He is a little disturbed, says that I wasn't supposed to see that, etc. I apologize, I told him that I wasn't deliberately looking at it. It's getting late, he's walking me part of the way home. We talk about each other's sex life...we had briefly touched upon it earlier in the evening. He finds out I had sex 2 weeks before. (Actually it was one week, but it seemed longer...the idiot I was seeing was on vacation, and it just threw me off.) He asks if I'm seeing anyone, and I tell the truth: I don't know what we (me and the idiot) are doing...we may just be sleeping together at this point. Then this guy asks me if we, he and I, are out on a date, because it seems to him that what we are doing is "date-y". I tell him I hadn't really thought about it...that I wanted to do something tonight and I called him to see if he wasn't busy, and we both live in the same city, etc. We talk a bit more about the mess that is my relationship with the idiot...I felt that I needed to explain why I didn't know what was going on with the idiot (and why it was the idiot's fault.) So we reach the spot where we will part ways and he mentions the date situation again. I give him the same response. He says that when he met me, he was attracted to me. I tell him that *I* thought that he found me to be annoying, because I talked so much. No, he says, he was attracted to me. He hugs me like he wishes the hug was of he lying down variety, if you know what I mean. I go home, call him half way there, because I was nearly assaulted by some crazy chick and a carload of guys.

Two days later I call, leave voicemail about going out for coffee or ice's still stickily hot. (It's the middle of the afternoon.) A week goes by. I get a job, try to call him, thought he might like to know. (Big part of the conversation centered around both of us being unemployed.) I finally email him, joking about smelling badly or not being one of the cool kids, etc. See, I didn't know if he was ignoring my calls...he's a freelancer, gets busy, hustles for work. I was married to one of them...I know about their schedules, exhaustion, no time for anything, etc. I get this back:

"Sorry for my rudeness by not receiving your calls. Especially considering your kindness to me. You are very nice. To be honest, it's not going to work for me. I didn't feel a spark. That's all I can really say. I wish you all the best ,*******"

Huh...wha??? Are you kidding me? My friend Pete tells me that he was trying to save face. Are you kidding me!!?? What, is this high school? He's 38 years old. Come on. What utter bullshit. Yeah, he practically felt me up, told me he was attracted to me, and kept asking if we were on a date-- because he felt no "spark". What crap. Man up, dude. Just admit the truth. And being polite doesn't cover up the bullshit.
anna k
I hated it when this soft-spoken creepy man interrupted me while I was listening to music on my headphones on the train to sit down next to me and said he wanted to talk to me. Like getting to know me. He just bugged me immediately, and I told him I wanted to listen to my music. He said OK, and put his hand out to shake my hand in peace. I left him hanging, and he left. For some reason I've been getting more male attention this week, like being told I'm pretty and sexy by teenage boys to newsstand guys eyeing me to this creep bugging me. I'm female and objectified, I know, but I'm also young and innocent-looking, though not naive or "corruptable."
Ok the worst thing happened this morning. This guy chases after me in the street and I stopped thinking he must want directions but when I figure he's just being a creep I say
"I'm sorry I'm English I don't understand you." (I'm in Switzerland at the moment and it's the easiest way to get away...)
But this guy was not to be deterred he says,
"Oh. You want to fuck with me?"
And here was me thinking romance was dead.
I just had to share this in here - I think I've finally solved the mystery of why guys who are trying to pick us up in bars etc suddenly say something vaguely insulting.

It's called "negging" and it's part of something called the "mystery method", oddly enough. The mystery to me is that they think this is going to work.

Mystery Method
venetia: wow. i've heard about this crap but i haven't read the entire deal until now. seriously, is the line "if i wasn't gay, you'd so be my type" REALLY going to attract any ladies?

it's so bizarre to me, but then again most of the dating "rules" i come across seem written for an entirely different world than the one i inhabit. i mean--no one is ever going to mistake my nails for fake nails, if only because they are unpolished and bitten to the quick. or--WAIT--i know: that's why i'm single! FINALLY THE ANSWER COMES!

pffffffft. i like the "comfort" section, but really isn't that more commonly known as "getting to know someone"?
The way these guys do it, I think the "comfort" section might really be commonly known as "conning someone".

I think lines like "you'd have a perfect body if you lost a few pounds" are supposed to make us think "oh no, this idiot isn't attracted to me - therefore I'd better try harder to impress him"!! In what universe!!
I can see how guys would "neg" as you say. It totally protects their own egos whilst somewhat intiating a flirtatious contact with a female. But that is totally bullshit to subtly be rude to someone, and insulting...I dont care what your real intentions may be! I wouldnt do that to mans precious ego, no matter how far out of my leauge he may seem. Guys are wierd. finding a good one is hard, but I think its hilarious how many crappy negative comments we remember. What about the good ones, albeit "wierd" ones?
there is this guy who used to work at the company i work at, and he lives in my neighborhood so i see him around from time to time (i ran into him at the local dive bar just now actually). i think he has a crush on me and i don't reciprocate it, so it's always a little weird...but every time he sees me he says something along the lines of "wow, you look really skinny, did you lose weight?" i have not lost weight. in a long damn time. i am squishy as ever. and the fact that he says this EVERY time he sees me makes me think that it is just something he has cached in his brain as, like...the kind of thing you say to a girl to flatter her. like he doesn't actually think i lost weight, but he thinks that by pointing it out he is complimenting me. i guess he means well and there are a lot worse things that one could hear, but it's just so WEIRD and obviously ulterior-motived. wtf.
The most memorable bad supposedly "good" comment I ever got was a guy who kept insisting "you should be in Penthouse magazine.. really you should", even after I pointed out that I had no desire to be in it and would he please shut up about it. Ick!!
oh ugh. he thought that was a compliment? i had a boyfriend like that, he used to call me his "snap on" girl. jerk.
Oh, nice. Did you buy him one when you broke up?
Yes, that was the first and last time penthouse-man was going to see me naked.

Hmm and here's the other really weird one: "you look like Anthony Hopkins". What?! But I did't even ask for explanations because I wasn't sure I really wanted to know.

hahaha! i love picturing a mix of a hot naked model and anthony hopkins.

oh, here's a good one i heard last weekend--not directed to me, but to my best girlfriend:

"the way you moved tonight was like a gyroscope--you know, the things they use in segways. i want to ride that segway for fifty miles. and then take a nap, fuel up, and ride it for another fifty miles."

oh, and one i heard the night before that:

GUY: how is a beautiful woman like you single?
ME: um, i'm kind of dating someone. but um, i like being single, i guess.
GUY: do you not want a knight on a white horse to ride up and carry you away?
ME: um, not really.
GUY: what color horse do you like?
ME: um, i travel by foot.
GUY: can we exchange email addresses?
GUY: can we exchange email addresses?
YOU: no I only communicate by heraldic white carrier pigeon.

i think i actually would have liked the gyroscope compliment.

pepper--"i'm not your snap on girl, but i'll be your strap on girl....OH SNAP (on)"
venetia, ha! i got something like that once but it was like, "you're hot enough to be in Maxim."

This isn't something a guy said to me, but it has to do with the, "did you lose weight" remark.

When I was in college there was this annoying girl who was friends of a friend of mine that I would always run into at this club that I frequented. I was losing weight at the time but it was so annoying because she would always say, "you look like you've lost weight" as a compliment when I saw her (about every week). I was getting sick of it because it is really kind of an insult (you know, you were fat before, so you look good losing weight).

Finally one night I was in the (busy) bathroom washing my hands and she comes in and says, blah blah blah, "you look like you've lost weight". So I reply with, "god I hope not, I hate the look of skinny girls". She looked shocked and I heard this other girl in one of the stalls yell, "right on!" or something like that.

Ahhh... good times
"i'm not your snap on girl, but i'll be your strap on girl....OH SNAP (on)"


no, seriously. that (strap on girl) was a different boyfriend.

missjoy, i love that someone else yelled right on from a stall, that rocks!
Here are two I received in highschool:

"If you made love to all the world's leaders there would be world peace." (in the midst of heavy petting)

and my personal fave:

"I've always wanted to be with a girl with hair like yours, and now I have." (Um...glad I could oblige?)
This guy I dated was so fucking proud of himself for "appreciating" my "unconventional kind of beauty"
and made a big fucking deal about it. Hey, it's not like I have antennas and a long trunk, I'm actually a pretty girl
with a full hourglass figure. It's not THAT unconventional to like a curvy girl. dry.gif I've had my fair share.
And besides, he wasn't exactly mr Proportional himself, but I wouldn't go and sing it from the mountains
how fucking openminded I am to "appreciate" an underweight nerd. Sheesh.

missjoy: HAHA!
the first time my current bf and i slept together, i was thoroughly impressed with his penis, it was perfectly proportioned, a good length, just beautiful. his reaction:

'you can worship it if you want.' *insert sound effect of record player skipping*

huh? really? good thing i wasn't completely turned off at that point or else we wouldn't still be together. it's now a running joke in our relationship as in, 'hey, you've got a booger hanging out of your nose,' and 'yeah, you can worship it if you want!'
"just because we're on a date doesn't mean we're dating"

he then followed that up with a "just kidding"
This past summer I started sleeping with a friend that I have known for years. In the past, he has been a blast to go out with and grab a drink. He was married until recently. Anyway, I was away for awhile and thought I should be courteous and let him know I was in town. I sent him a text message to which he replied: Hopefully, we can get together. We have to keep this good thing going. (Mild gag on my end). The next message was: I wish I could see you today. Perhaps after work I can get some of your late night magic! (Projectile vomiting at this point) Needless to say, I don't think I will be courteous in the future. I will try to slip under the radar. Why? Why did I ever break that friend barrier. I should have kept it the way it was. I can't look at him the same way now. Why does he have to say such cheesy things?
I had a conversation about what cars I like with my now ex-bf, and when I mentioned the new Dodge Chargers, he said that I might not be able to pull it off. Not that I wasn't pretty or anything, but those cars are kinda high-maintenance. Like that made me feel better.

I had an ex tell me that i smelled "odd" "down there". I took it as a huge insult and he tried to say it wasn't horrible, but it was wierd. Come to find out later, the one and only other gf he's ever had douched literally EVERY DAY. I just wanted to say, sweetheart it's called natural not chemical.

I also had an ex tell me that I was lucky he wanted to date me because even though I was pretty he wouldn't have asked me out if I was 20 pounds heavier. Little note I weigh a total of 120 soaking wet. lol He said "fat" girls were nasty. Like my friend who weighed like 130. And we're both about 5'5. Can we say prick?

I got messaged on Myspace by 2 different guys saying that if I was a booger that he'd pick me. Now how does that even classify as a pickup line? That's more like bad habits I'd say.
i've been having regular phone conversations with a very old ex (my first bf, in fact, from about 8 years ago) for some time now, because he is entertaining and he says ridiculous things that no one else would dare say. usually, i like this about him, and i think it's funny how dirty he is nowadays since he used to be quite a pussy. however, i learned the hard way that he is actually, still, a pussy, and it's all talk. he likes to talk about sex with me and likes to joke about really dirty things, and somehow the topic of anal sex came up and he wanted to know if i had done it. i told him i had, and all of a sudden the facade drops and he was incredulous and appalled, and spent the next like half hour expounding on how shocked he was that i would do such a thing and how he would never do such a thing and how it is so gross and doesn't it SMELL and how could you possibly LIKE it and oh my god. i told him to shut his face and do some research, and that yes, i enjoyed it, many people enjoy it, unless you're an idiot you specifically take precautions to not be messy, and that it really wasn't that big of a deal. five minutes later, he was asking me if i would do it with him AS A FAVOR because now he was curious. not to mention that he constantly asks me to get back together with him and have sex with him and i ALWAYS tell him NO NO NO NO NO.

Oh got another one, the guy didn't quite say anything but still worth mentioning. I had a guy make me get up and walk around the room after sex because he didn't believe that it didn't hurt. Mind you I was a virgin and it truly didn't hurt. Another note on it was it took him like 6 months to break my cherry. So, ladies can we say his ego was bigger than his cock?
As you can see I'm still new at this. lol
Sorry guys I didn't mean to post this many times.
QUOTE(kittenb @ May 7 2006, 10:17 AM) *
While some of the dialogue I am about to write here might be condensed, I swear, none of it is made up and the general idea and theme remains true: <BR> <BR>HIM: I noticed I have sociopathic tendencies. <BR>ME: In what way? <BR>HIM: I was not born w/ a conscience. I had to teach myself what is right and wrong from things that I read and stuff like that. In many ways it is superior to what everyone else has because I had to work for it. <BR> <BR>Can I just say, "Dating is fun!" I should tell this guy what my best friend told me; "You have to hide the 'crazy' for at least two dates."

You know I have dated several guys like that. How on creation I didn't see it as a bad thing I really have no clue. You should have told him It's called Aspergers Syndrome. It doesn't mean you're superior it just means you have a handicap on emotions. I should know.
MoonDancer, don't worry about the multiple posts, sometimes the board is weird and just posts things over and over.

Mouse, why do you still talk to that guy!
QUOTE(candycane_girl @ Nov 4 2007, 08:16 PM) *
Mouse, why do you still talk to that guy!

he's extremely entertaining. if it were any other guy, it would be much worse of a "say WHAT?" moment, but he's essentially a shut-in and kind of mentally unhinged, so i don't really expect anything less. i basically think of him as a magical little alien being that only i can hear or understand, and that really has no clue how human society actually works.

it's a long, complicated story...
"Wow, you really have a big appetite."

"Can you read my script?"

"You're sister's cute. Is she dating anyone?"

Soory, now that I'm reliving this, I need to go lay down. LOL.

mouse, i dated that guy! he's my son's godfather now. ha. once they become like a member of the family (dated for my entire 20's) you're stuck with them forever. he still asks me for blow jobs, he's just so damn kooky and funny i let the social retardedness slide.
Oh god, moondancer. I had almost completely repressed that memory. rolleyes.gif

So there is an actual name for what he is then? I might have to look it up.
yeah kitten. It's a disorder where you have to teach yourself how to feel and you don't think quite like others. But that doesn't make an excuse for him being a jerk. Most people actually overcompensate for the lack of feeling by becoming very emotional. I have it and most people don't realize I'm that different. There's not much information on it. It's still being researched. Most of the sites you'll find with it mostly talks about autism, but they're basically the same thing, it just means he was probably not stupid. Most of them don't even realize what they're doing. I blunder all the time when I try to say things. Most sites call it a high-functioning autism. In other words your really smart about alot of things, but when it comes to human interaction you don't do so well. smile.gif
hey, moondancer, this is kind of off-topic but there was another bustie with asperger's on here a while ago; pherber (i miss her! i don't know where she's gone) but i think there are some interesting discussions on the topic in the archives--if you search for that member name, you might find something?
Yeah, there was a whole thread. If you search "Asperger's" in the "Our Bodies, Our Hells" topic, you'll find it. smile.gif
I wasn't looking for information in here, but thanks mouse, I'll be sure to look it up. smile.gif
Stupid double posting........Sorry people. smile.gif
i wasn't trying to be pedantic smile.gif just mentioning it since the subject came up!
I was in an LTR (now ended) with a man who occasionally came up with some kickers:

"Wow, your feet are huge for a girl your size"

"Do you have ham legs like your sister?"

and, after we went to india for a month and both got sick with dystentry, and I lost 20lbs:

"I think you look much beter this way."
so this was a few years ago. a little bg info i have cerebral palsy and i walk with a crutch.

so im out with my friends at this little coffeeshop hangout all the misfits go to, and we're sitting on a bench just talking. this guy whos been standing closeby accidentally kicks my crutch a bit.

him: who's this belong to?
me: oh its mine..
him: what do you need it for?
me: I have cerebral palsy and i use it to walk
him:OH! so your a HANDI???


Im used to people being curious, but ive never had someone that stupid.
Geesh, did he think he was being funny by saying "Handi?" What a fucking dickhead.

Wow, corduroy, that dysentery thing is awful!! How did you reply?

Reading these comments makes me even more bitter towards men.
QUOTE(pinkpoodle @ Dec 5 2007, 02:26 PM) *
Geesh, did he think he was being funny by saying "Handi?" What a fucking dickhead.

Wow, corduroy, that dysentery thing is awful!! How did you reply?

Reading these comments makes me even more bitter towards men.

yea i know, right? its ok though, he had a nose that took up most of his face, so i just snickered.
her polythene bag
Imagine a fat little troll saying this to you: "I'd love it if you got a porn-star body for me."

True story.
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