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*bump* for skandelouslala

I had a ridiculous panic attack last week, ending up with me curled up in bed with the covers over my head, sobbing uncontrollably, and missing work.

of course, i had just been in a car accident the week before, in the middle of my last-ever undergraduate finals week, and i'm moving out of my apartment and back in with my it might have been warranted, for a change.
By skandelouslala on Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 01:24 pm:Edit Post

(I didn't see a similar thread, so please direct me if there is one, I'm new around here)

Does anyone else suffer from anxiety? I have hellacious anxiety which has really been in full fledged effect for the past year or so now. Some days are seriously a battle but I'm determined to fight through it.

I see a lot of people lumping anxiety & depression into the same category at times but I am NOT depressed. I mean sure, I have my bad days where I feel down just like everyone else. I've had issues with depression in the past so I know oh so well what that is like but I strongly feel I have worked past the depression problem. The lasting effect seems to be the anxiety.

The other day I had something happen that had never happened before. I had an anxiety attack at home, during the evening while my fiance was up and about. Usually if they happen at night it's late and when he is in bed so I'm essentially by myself. It freaked me out. I had to go out to where he was and sit with him just to calm myself down.

I'm trying to pin point where my anxiety is stemming from but haven't had much luck. I'm currently a psych major so I know all about this stuff but that knowledge is useless when I'm actually experiencing it. I really want to stay away from medications, nothing against them, but I just don't feel like that is the route for me. But damn, when the really bad anxiety attacks hit it definitely makes me wonder how I am going to go through life fighting this.
i truly think panic attacks are from overstimulation. we're being bombarded with stuff from every angle, that our bodies are having a hard time adjusting. i think it has a lasting affect on our minds, which creates the racing thoughts. medication is good for some, therapy is good for others.. we've got to figure out what will work best for ourselves.
A couple of weeks ago I was in Borders(the self help section would you believe) and just started nearly sobbing,which caused me to run out of the store.On the way to the car park I past people in the shopping centre and they all looked very blurry and I was petrified that they knew how crazy I was.When I got to the car I sat inside and just had to breath,deeply.Hard to do when I was nearly hyperventilating because I was crying so hard.The self help section in the store was centred on dating and surviving a break up.I'd just broken up with my fiance and so when I got to the car I called him.He cam right away and when he saw me he really calmed me down.This anxiety attack was scary with a lonely,sad feeling mixed in.
well, i went to therapy a whole bunch last summer and fall, and one of the main triggers i learned is when i feel incapable of handling whatever is happening, whether it be a specific situation or a whole bunch of big stuff. this is partly due to lack of self confidence, and just a lot of unnecessary negative self-talk type stuff.

but anyway, working on my confidence in my own abilities to handle situations is what has actually helped with it. but it might be challenging without going to therapy at all!

i wonder if either of you might find some kind of anxiety support group those exist?
I am glad this thread is active again. I've been experiencing near panic attacks lately also. Like you, skandelouslala, my anxiety is also not currently accompanied by depression. And, the times I've experienced the most panic like symptoms are when I'm at home. I've noticed that mine seem to come when I am doing something that should be relaxing. Lying in bed reading a book, for instance. I just don't understand. Lately I have been doing a bit better with positive self talk & not letting the situation escalate. I think you have a good point there, midge about feeling incapable of handling the feelings. It has helped me to say to myself "ok, so what? so what if I have a panic attack? it's not going to kill me, everything will still be ok."
Glad to see the main thread and to know that I am not alone. Sometimes I feel terribly alone with it. Last fall in fact I seriously contemplated seeing someone about it (ended up chickening out and not going but got it under control myself for the time being) Anyways I tried to explain to my fiance what was going on with me and how I felt and all that stuff and he just had no idea what to say. It really did make me feel so alone b/c the person I love most and know loves me most in this world just couldn't even comprehend. I know it's not his fault though, as nobody can really understand unless they've been there.

I still vividly remember my first anxiety attack. I was 16, in the bathroom one morning at my dad's taking a pee and had a mild anxiety attack right then and there. I had no idea what was happening but thought I was about to lose control. Since then I've dealt with it on and off, but it has gotten considerably worse in the past 2 years.

The scariest freaking part about my anxiety is I'm prone to having anxiety attacks when I'm driving. Yeah, not good. At all.
I had a terrible one last summer driving back home from a friends..about 45 minutes from my home. I wasn't sure if I should pull to the side of the road but I was terrified of someone stopping or a cop pulling up or something and asking me what was wrong. I made it to a shopping center and parked until I cooled out enough to make it home in one piece. That one was the worse, because I was driving and all and so upset I felt like I was going to black out.

I've been getting better at handling them. I just remind myself that I can let this happen and know the outcome of it...which is nothing. All that worry and stress and the physical exhaustion from it and for what? Nothing.

At night I've been drinking Kava tea...supposed to be good for least it helps me sleep even if it is all in my head. Laying in bed the anxiety is usually the worst for some reason.
skandel, i am always worried i'm going to have anxiety attack or faint or passout when i'm driving.

last week, i went swimming for the first time in a very long time (first time exercising for a long time) and on the way home, i started feeling faint. it wasn't a long drive home, but i had a bottle of water with me - for some reason, having water with me helps me quite a bit. i didn't have any food, though, and i was feeling hungry. so, with the feelings of hunger and not having anything to munch on, i started feeling faint and then i started worrying that would just pass out while on the road. and it was a busy road, so i couldn't just pull over. my heart started racing and i started to feel that tight feeling on my skin - kind cold and hot. i managed to make it home and felt fine when i got there. but i hate those feelings.

if i am going to be stuck in traffic on the freeway (if i get on and notice it's slow-moving or whatever), i try to get off right away - the thought of being stuck in traffic terrifies me. especially when the weather is hot.

midge, anxiety support groups do exist - i had a friend who went to one. i can't remember if it helped her out, though. sorry.
I clench my teeth at night. So badly that I usually have dreams that my teeth are falling out and when I wake up my teeth and jaws are sore. I'm pretty sure that stress/anxiety are the biggest factor in my problem and then only advice I've gotten for it is to relax (oh thanks, that's really helpful) and buy a mouthguard to wear at night (which, judging by how I used to throw my nighttime retainer across the room when I was asleep when I had braces, won't work). Does anyone else deal with this and have any tips?
aes5j, i also have that problem and have been wearing a mouthguard for years. only problem with that, is that i clench into my mouthguard, which, after many years, is starting to lose a little of its shape and is starting to feel uncomfy. and i had a friend who totally bit holes through hers.

i had another friend with a similar teeth-clenching problem (all my friends, it seems, have anxiety problems similar to me) and she was told to clench her teeth a bunch of times before going to bed - i guess to get the muscles tired out perhaps? and then she would be too tired to clench at night. not sure if that worked for her, but maybe if you exercised your jaw something that like and then massaged the muscles around your jaw and your temples? i don't know, just suggestions.
I've never had a problem with grinding my teeth or clinching my teeth at night although it seems like a lot of people around me under stress or anxiety complain of it.

Amber....I've also noticed that water helps. The last time I was on a long drive by myself and started feeling a little faint and anxious I stopped and got myself a huge bottle of water and chugged a bit of it. Helped immensely for some reason. Maybe b/c it helps get rid of that dry mouth/hard to swallow feeling that sometimes accomopanies me anyways with anxiety.

I try so hard not to let my anxiety to stop me from doing things that I want to do, would normally do, ect but sometimes it's hard.
Especially when you feel like you have to really go out on a limb just do some things most other people are nonchalant about.
Water helps me too.

It seems that driving is a common place to feel anxiety or panic. Has anyone read anything as to why that is?

Water helps me too.

It seems that driving is a common place to feel anxiety or panic. Has anyone read anything as to why that is?

oops, sorry.
karianne, i don't know why driving seems to bring on anxiety or panic in others, i can only speculate on why it does that for me. and it usually only happens when i'm the driver, driving alone. though one time, my partner and i were stuck in traffic (not exactly stuck, but very slow moving) on a hot summer day heading into montreal - he was driving - and i had to close my eyes and focus on deep breathing a few times. i noticed it worse when we were between huge transport trucks and the concrete walls surrounding the highway - that feeling of being closed in.

for me, i think it's the fear of being stuck - not in control. and it happens more often when i am on a freeway (or whatever they're called). when i feel i can't just pull over or there are no near exits. and maybe it has something to do with the fact that i'm in a tiny car? i don't do well with very small, closed in spaces at times. sometimes they don't bother me, but sometimes they do. but i can't just get out of my car and leave (if stuck in traffic), and i think that bothers me.

in a similar situation - i was grocery shopping on a very busy day, i think it was boxing day - or around one of the holidays that stores aren't open for a few days, so everyone was shopping. i had a cart full of stuff and was waiting in line and i started feeling anxious - like i was going to faint. i couldn't just leave, because then i would be leaving a cart full of stuff for someone else to put away and people would get angry. and i had just spent all this time shopping in a crowded store, i didn't want to leave without my groceries. i managed to focus on a magazine while i waited, and i managed to get out of there without an attack.

but back to the driving - i have also been on highways driving to other cities and have felt panic - panic that i can't just stop and get out and leave my car - in the middle of nowhere.

sorry if this is long and doesn't make sense. so for me, i guess, it has something to do with being stuck. and closed in, perhaps?
aes5j - i grind my teeth like crazy at night. i bought a mouth guard at cvs for around $25, the kind you boil and let it melt around your teeth to fit. i chewed it up really good after a few weeks and it ended up falling out of my mouth halfway through the night. i've seen ads for fancy mouth guards for teeth grinding that cost like $100, i'm thinking of investing in one. my teeth and jaws hurt every morning too!

edit: oh, i was also thinking about asking my dentist next time i go for a cleaning if insurance covers anything like that. it's worth asking.
about the driving/standing in a line anxiety, from what i have read and therapy it really is all due to a sense of having no control over the situation. for me, it seems this stems from a lack of belief in my ability to manage situations on my own, which in turn is from when i was younger and constantly being told that the choices i wanted to make were wrong, and being asked (by a hypochondriac parent) whether i was okay, making me doubt that i was okay.

that was kinda rambly, but i hope it made sense. i think the reasons why the loss of control creates anxiety can stem from different sources, but that is the general idea.
I think the driving/fear of having no control thing makes a lot of sense. I haven't really speculated in depth what it may be with me, but I think that is a good starting point.

Anxiety hitting me during driving usually happens in two situations 1) If I have to drive somewhere very soon after getting up in the morning. If I'm still tired and not really "with it" yet the anxiety starts. I think it's because since I feel like I'm not fully awake yet I feel like I don't have as much control over the driving situation so the anxiety feels the need to kick in. In that case it doesn't matter if anybody is with me or not.

And 2) When I am driving alone a long distance either at night or in severe heavy traffic. Again the lack of control seems fitting. In heavy traffic, knowing I can't control other drivers..what if somebody does something stupid and hits me? Things like that.... At night it's a combo of the visibility thing... the fear that if something happened I'd be stranded (which doesn't make much sense seeing I do have a cell phone). I also have an irrational fear of getting pulled over even though I never speed or anything like that.

Ultimately...all stuff that I shouldn't be worrying about to an extent. At least not enough to produce such intense anxiety reactions.

If I really look at it I think that most of my biggest anxiety producing situations are those that I feel that I am not in control of. Or anything that causes me to feel like I could lose it a situation or a feeling I experience. I can definitely pin point some situations like that when the anxiety has attacked but for me it doesn't explain some other anxious situations I have been...

Like the time I started experiencing an anxiety attack at the grocery store at like 11 o'clock at night for no reason. It was dead in there. I suppose it was building up while I was driving over there. I got in the store and just though omigawd I can't do this. I went back out to the car, chilled for 5-10 minutes...went back in and was fine.

It's crap like that...that people who have no idea about anxiety just think you're crazy for heh
I think you guys are right, definitely. I guess with driving, losing control would likely result in consequences. That really heightens the anxiety. If I get anxiety while driving, it is on the interstate.

Skandelouslala, I think that is one of the irritating things about anxiety/panic...that it can come at any time. Times that don't make sense. Why does my anxiety tend to come when I am reading in bed before sleeping? That should be a nice, relaxing time. I wonder if it has something to do with overstimulation, like someone mentioned below. Are we so stimulated all the time that when we finally are some place quiet with nothing going on, our brains don't know what to do? Because I often feel that my brain is creating the anxiety. All I have to do is think about getting anxious, and then bingo, I am getting anxious. My brain seems to latch on to that one thought & perseverate on it. However, I've tried lately to use that phenomenon to my advantage. I think "well, if my brain is able to create anxiety, it should be able to create calm."
me too - all i have to do is think about anxiety and bam! i'm anxious.
i will have to use that karianne - if my brain is able to create anxiety, it should be able to create calm.

and me too about the anxiety coming on at any time. i hate it. thankfully, or maybe, unfortunately, most of my friends experience anxiety/panic as well, so it's not difficult to find people who understand. i did have an ex, though, that didn't quite get it. and after an attack, i'd feel completely wiped-out and he would never quite understand why i had lost so much energy.

do any of you obsessively worry? i worry so much, over so many things. i'm wondering if that's separate from the anxiety or if other people with anxiety/panic worry a lot, too.
Karianne...I sourta think you got something with that "maybe our brains don't know what to do" least it seems that way sometimes, that's for sure. I definitely find myself more anxious at times that should be relaxing as well. I suppose maybe when we aren't concentrating on the other hundreds of things we have to do each day those "relaxing" times are when all the other thoughts come to us.

I definitely think about the "creating calm" thing and it has helped me at times. Trying to stay in the present physical moment helps as well... like this is what I can hear/see/feel(physically) at the moment. I stay away from any internal thoughts. I do it slowly I have a few good minutes away from the anxiety... it really helps bring it down if you can escape it for just a couple minutes.

Ambercherry...I have a close friend who has anxiety/panic as well so she really understands too. We talk about it sometimes. I dare say that hers as been worse than mine though. She would get to the point where she truly believed that she was going to die. When she was like that though, I didn't really understand it then b/c I didn't have such issues with anxiety back was so strange to see happen, but I understand it now even though I haven't gotten that bad really. I mean sure sometimes I do feel that I'm losing control or something bad is going to happen to me but not to the extent that she was about it. It was just scary to watch her go through it. So I guess in that respect, I'm lucky that it's not that bad. But now...I so understand and wish I could have been more understanding then.

As I've mentioned, Mr. Skan still doesn't really understand it. It's hard to explain it to him. He tries to listen and understand which I guess is all that he can really do and all that I can really ask of him. If I tell him I need him to sit with me for a bit or whatever, he's always there.

Speaking of the wiped out feeling after an attack...that has always baffled me. I mean why do we feel so exhausted afterwards? I mean it seems like an entire mental thing. I wonder why the effects are so physical?

I only obsessivly worry in the midst of an anxiety episode/attack. Otherwise I seem to be more of the type to brush things off/ignore issues until they can't be ignored any longer. I imagine that does little good for the anxiety in the long run huh? Heh.

Worrying is definitely not seperate from anxiety. If anything I think obsessive worry is one of the leading causes of anxiety.

I would say that 75% of my major anxiety attacks have been started by thinking about something that worries me. The other 25% by things such as a sensation that has reminded me of a previous anxiety attack which in turned started the worrying and then it spirals on.
skandelouslala, an anxiety attack takes a huge amount of energy out of your body. the attack stimulates your sympathetic nervous system which releases tons of chemicals and prepares your body for fight/flight which take a lot of energy. I used to have really bad anxiety before I got on Effexor. the day I started it my anxiety left me and all I have are memories of times just like you describe. my heart used to skip beats and I would check my pulse constantly thinking I was going to have a heart attack. I would have trouble breathing and have asthma for days at a time. I would have a panic attack every time I went out to eat b/c I felt trapped in a restaurant. the dizziness is caused from you hyperventilating. You may not think that you are but if you start to get dizzy/tingly just remember to breathe. nowdays I am able to just sit and quietly observe my body and not let my mind get carried away. If my heart skips or I get dizzy I don't automatically go into panic mode, I just sit and think "hmmm...I'm dizzy, that's neat." and I move on. That's what Effexor allows me to do. Now I am getting off of it and hoping that my skills stay intact and that I am able to control it.
You mentioned the quiet moments as sometimes the most anxious. I used to sit quietly and chew my lip until it bled furiously. I couldn't consciously drum up anything wrong but I was reacting to something. It's hard living w/ anxiety but it's possible to get a grip on it. good luck.
Thanks for that clarification cloverbee.

Effexor seems like something that has helped you a lot. I hope everything goes okay as you get off of it.

I have always wanted to get a grip on anxiety w/o the help of drugs if possible, but I figure if it ever gets to that point I'm certainly not above getting the help that I need.

I'm doing much better recently..I'm hoping it stays that way, but we'll see.
My insurance paid for 75% of my mouthguard, my dentist fitted it to my mouth, etc. It's really great, I don't wear it every night cause sometimes it's annoying, but it helps with the grinding and hurty jaw. Call your insurance and ask them what they'll cover-if there is a reason for getting one, they should. My dr. told me if I didn't get a mouthguard that eventually I could have big problems from so much grinding away of the tooth. gross.

Teeth dreams- I used to have these all the time! Very disturbing dreams about my teeth crumbling and falling out, etc. I actually had one last night, I hate those!!!! Maybe that means I should've been wearing my mouthguard...
i hate those teeth-falling-out dreams!! i used to have them all the time, too. i wonder if it's because our teeth or jaw hurts while sleeping (because of whatever we're doing in our sleep), and therefore the pain causes a dream like that.

a few nights ago, i decided not to wear my mouthguard - it's wearing down and beginning to sometimes feel uncomfortable. but i would toss and turn and wake up often, wondering if i had been grinding. so, back to the mouthguard.

i was covered for my mouthguard a huge amount. i have porcelain veneers on my two front teeth and am so paranoid of chipping them in my sleep and the dentist who fitted me for the guard (not the same as the one who put on the veneers) was surprised i hadn't had a guard from the get-go with the veneers.

okay, sorry the last little thing is off topic.

(((((all the anxious busties)))))
I don't think it is off topic though! I had those dreams for years, and people told me "oh, those are control dreams, about losing control." But now I think that they were more than that! My dentist said that I had ground my two front teeth down so they are now even with the others. I noticed them changing but thought it was normal.

Just another reason to get treated for anxiety-dental problems! Who would have ever thought?
so, i don't get full blown attacks at all, but sometimes when i go out, i get (for lack of a better word) anxious. went to the public library today, and the stacks were too close together, it was too hot, too many people close by... just very uncomfortable.

and i don't know if this would help anyone, but sometimes when i go out, i'll pack the ipod and become an *that* iperson. i get to ignore sales people and bad muzak, and despite having lil' kim blaring, it's very calming :-)
does anybody ever have the dream that their teeth are clenched tightly and they cannot get them apart and it hurts? i have the teeth falling out dream too and I'm always crying and trying to find a dentist. my dentist says I need a mouth guard but I probably won't get one.
hey cloverbee,
mine are either teeth falling out, rotting out, crumbling. i'm trying to call my dentist in the dream, trying to get an appt, can't remember dentist's number, etc.

i had one last night where parts of my teeth were going to come out, and i kept clicking them in and out of place, and then i was like maddy! stop moving them, they'll fall out faster!

i'm always SOOO relieved when i wake up and realize my teeth are not falling out.

i posted about these dreams years ago in a forum for sexual abuse survivors, and they said it was about control. i wonder though, if it's our minds telling us that our bodies (teeth/jaws) need attention? hence the trying to call the dentist in the dream?

i used to have daily panic attacks they were so exhausting and awful. i'd have to leave for work early so that i'd have time to have a full on panic attack when i got to work, and then have time to go to the bathroom, and then recover, wipe off the sweat, etc. Gotta say-xanax took care of that. i love me some xanax. even just knowing i have them and can take them whenever i need-just makes me feel more relaxed. i know people get concerned about the addictiveness of them, but i've never really had an issue with that. (and, i'm a huge pothead, so i'ts not like i don't have addictive tendencies). Ook, now i sound like a drug rep:-)
Also, just wanted to express my gratefulness for this forum. Years ago I thought I was the only person too scared to go out to eat, etc. I hated being out of my house, much less my room. My friend and I used to go to the same restaurant every few weeks, at a weird time so it'd be empty-cause neither of us could deal with people or new places. I still get nervous about going to new places, where I'm not sure if I'll be able to escape if I need to. It's nice to see I'm not alone! I always felt like a total freak of nature for being afraid to do stuff like getting my hair cut.
maddy, I feel your pain. my panic attacks began when I was very young. I think I was about eight years old. I remember being the only person at parties who was nervous. I would ask my mom why I was nervous to go skating or do what other kids thought was "fun". I avoided movie theaters like the plague b/c I would panic. In seventh grade I was in band and during our practice nearly every time I would drop my trumpet and run out of the room in search of a phone to call my mom to come and get me from school. the teacher thought I was a nutcase as did all the other kids. I would lie to my mom telling her I was throwing up and then she would come and rescue me and I would immediately feel better and she would think I was faking it. I couldn't explain it and I had no idea what was going on w/ me. I just panicked and thought I was going to die. It was really hard dealing w/ it as a young kid b/c I never went to other kids houses for fear of being trapped there w/ no escape. I had no social life. I couldn't take trips w/ my family so I always stayed home alone. my parents had it w/ me b/c I would check out of school every single day. my mom hated me. my dad was pissed. it was hell. my biggest fear was puking in public. or puking at all for that matter. I had agorophobia also. I couldn't leave my house and going to school was pure hell. I've been there and I can say that I do still struggle w/ these issues as they are so ingrained into my psyche. I still have trouble w/ movie theatres or going out w/ a crowd where I can't leave any time but for the most part it is under control. I was a prisoner to my panic attacks for many many years. well, that's all I have to say now sorry for the novel.
((((cloverbee)))) anxiety sucks ass.

i had (to some extent still have) a problem with theatres of any kind. i cannot sit in the middle of a row with people sitting in every chair in the row - especially in the centre of the theatre. i have ruined some pretty good concerts for myself by fighting off attacks.

i am happy to say, though, that tonight i went to see cirque de soliel (fabulous) and did not have an attack! there were moments near the beginning that i thought i might have one, but i kept reminding myself that i could create calm. that, and the fact that there were only four people between me and the aisle, if i needed to get out. and it was hot and muggy outside, so the tent the show was in was pretty warm, too. and that tends to be worse for me as far as having an attack goes. funny, because i love this hot/muggy weather.

okay, so, to bring up the teeth dreams again - do any of you have dreams in which you lose other body parts? i have dreamt of losing my hand, and i have had other dreams related to such, just can't remember them right now. and it's late, so i should get some sleep.
I'm glad that I don't experience the anxiety or panic in social situations really. Well I guess I do have a bit of social anxiety...the fear of public speaking...speaking in front of groups of 10+ people. It's seriously crippling. I know a lot of people have a fear of public speaking but not to the extent that I have it.

I dropped out of my college communications class b/c of it. It's a required class so I have to take it again eventually. I'm just hoping that when I do I'll have the anxiety thing under control, or be doped up on something in order to do it *heh*

But other than that...yeah luckily I don't experience the panic and feeling like I need to get out when I'm out and about, except on very very rare occassions.

What you guys are talking about with that though...I've read so many times in my psych textbooks and it's very common for people with anxiety to experience all those feelings.

I still have never experienced the teeth dreams or losing any body parts.

I dream about cats though lol
A lot. It's freaky and I think it means something. I've been having frequent dreams that involve cats since I was 16 or so (around the time the anxiety started).
Congrats amber! That is awesome that you were able to enjoy the performance without attacks. :-)

I think I have had the teeth falling out dream before, but not in a long time. What I get more often is a dream where I can't open my eyes or keep them open.

I bought a book last night that is about anxiety & panic. I find many self-help books useless, but I like this one. I will remember to look at it tonight so I can post the title & author. One helpful thing I've read so far concerns the unconsciousness. The author makes the case that we do not have to consciously control our breathing & make our hearts beat. It is involuntary. I like this because it means that I don't have to constantly monitor these things & make sure my heart isn't beating too fast, etc. My body will handle it for me. It is a relief, really. It means I don't have to constantly be on the defense.
skandelouslala, I feel you on the public speaking. I get anxiety speaking to one person. I take ativan when I have to do a speech so essentially I am drugged up. Yeah, I have it worse than others as well. I lose sleep for weeks before a presentation.
My anxiety comes over me when dealing with people. I'll find suddenly I can't speak properly, can't present myself and/or my product in a dignified way--and then a wave of embarrasment comes over me and compounds the situation. I just want to be anywhere but there. This from someone who's a fairly accomplished speaker, no speech impediments, and outgoing most of the time. It's like I'm possessed by a different person.

And the teeth dreams--have had them my whole life. Heard it was money worries from one source, relationship worries from another, but what it seems to be about for me is irreversible change and loss.

Just the other night I dreamt I had a penis and donated half of it to a charity for children only to find out the charity was bogus! I figure that one is because I broke up with a love because he didn't want a child together, and have had an impossible time finding someone new (child-friendly or otherwise).

On my way to the pharmacy to get Clonapin...have been off it for a while, but figure better to give in to this in the short run, rather than get hit with a full blown panic episode.
thanks for the info on mouth guards and insurance, i'm due for a cleaning so i'll ask my dentist then. i am pretty sure i would be an eligible candidate for a proper mouth guard!
wow, i am soooo exhausted! i didn't exactly have an "attack" today, but was really stressed out getting my thesis turned in, and by the time i made it home, i just had to take a nap. i didn't realize how wound up i had gotten, and am totally wiped out, just as if i'd had a real episode of super-anxiousness.

whew. now i have the week to recover and tie up loose ends before going on vacay, which i'm sure we all know is both exciting and anxiety causing! (why can't anything just be purely enjoyable??!!)
what counts as anxiety? I'm hesitant to call my unwilligness to socialize anxiety, but the other day I almost started crying at work because I just needed to come home and be alone. What qualifies?
ophelia, does that happen often? what was going on in your life/at work that day? need more info.
i'm new around here, but i've been reading through these posts about anxiety...i've been dealing with panic/anxiety/depression for 4+ years, and just recently with proper attention. actually, i think i've had it all my life, but for some reason it became a huge issue when i started college (about 4 years ago).

well, here's my problem. i guess i feel like a huge weirdo for feeling this way. i know alot of anxiety has to do with your automatic thoughts, etc, etc. many many times have i felt like i have to go home and be alone and cry. i've had to go into the bathroom during work or school and just try to cry in order to feel more calm again. it's strange, but i feel like the biggest loser, because one part of me is telling myself that i'm 23 and i shouldn't worry about anything but having fun! so i feel strage about that. one thing i feel really weird about is being around people who are really negative and for some reason that triggers it too. does anyone else feel really sensitive to people's attitudes and mannerisms and things like that?

i guess like, i just feel really strange and awkward and freaked out in parties or places where socializing is going on. i always feel like i'm too sad, and too much is going on, that i have to leave and go to my room and surround myself with things that comfort me. which feels incredibly lame.

or, in social situations, i feel like a part of me takes over that isn't my deep true self and in one way i almost don't enjoy it and i would like to enjoy it totally as me being me...does that make sense??
yes, luna. that makes a lot of sense. I remember feeling like that at times but I don't anymore. It sounds like depression. and don't get all caught up in the age thing. almost everyone else your age is going thru something similar and nobody's life is a constant party. it was hell for me when I was 23. just try and focus on how you feel and what you are thinking. if maybe you can identify exactly what it is that makes you feel so sad and isolated, you may be able to work thru it. take care
luna, I think that is one of the hardest parts of anxiety and depression. Not only do we feel bad enough from the anxiety & depression, but then we make ourselves feel worse by thinking things like "I should not feel this way." That is what I've experienced anyway.

Have fun on vacation, midge!

Ophelia, I agree with cloverbee. Does that sort of thing happen often? Sometimes symptoms be mild, but if they occur frequently, it might signal a problem.
luna rock... makes complete sense. you're much too intelligent for mindless activities. dont be ashamed of it. simply find things that you enjoy. pursue your own interests so that you will not only be enjoying your life (genuinely) but also so you dont feel the need to engage in typical, predictable behavior. no matter how old you are, what matters here is that you are true to yourself. so you dont want to do stuff that is a waste of time and is unhealthy for you.. so what?
whew. i made it! got home last night, the trip was really fun, but the long day of travel on each end really takes it outta me! i ended up getting an interview for a job that i applied for right before leaving, but it's this afternoon! i feel so outta whack, and my ibs is totally acting up, so i am just trying not to stress out, and be zen...

think non-anxious thoughts for me around 2pmPST everyone!
Bumping this up since I've decided I'm queen of the neglected threads for tonight...
Has anyone else started the downward spiral of holiday depression yet?
i actually get kind of manic and crazed during the holidays. i feel like i need to have fun and good cheer every day, and i get anxious about cramming everything in before the holidays are over and it is depressing january.

i get pissed that no one else i know loves christmas as much as i do, and my decorating and baking and thoughtful gift buying is not appreciated.
I have.

I started almost crying at work, because my family is making me crazy. I'm so anxious about the next month. I really don't want to go home, because I know that my parents will make a big deal about everything.

I had a massive panic attack at work (they were interviewing people at work, which in my paranoid mind, I thought they were firing me), which spiraled into a bad migrane. That caused me to leave at 2 pm.

My ibs is acting up as well, as is my face.... fuck.

i absolutely HATE the whole xmas mania. the stupid commercials, the music, crowds of shopping people. i just try to ignore it as much as possible and wait for it to be over.

Luna, i'm exactly the same, i find it extremely difficult to be in social situations. my husband is a DJ so it has started to become a problem in our relationship. i start freaking out sometimes 3 days before a party and then usually have a panic attack right before going. stupid right? parties are supposed to be fun.

i've started getting acupuncture treatments and taking st. john's wort tincture regularly. it really seems to be helping, especially for sleeping.

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