Hello there ladies... I'm new to this website and have loved the conversations here about small breasts. I haven't read through all the posts, so I hope you all will forgive me if mine is not on the current topic of the board. I also hope you'll forgive the length of my post, and appreciate those of you who take the time to read it.
I've been looking around the internet for months now, trying to find support for small-breasted women. I stumbled on this site and it has helped me tremendously, so I thank all you women who have posted here, because you all have helped me not to feel so sad and hopeless. I have so many emotions bottled for so many years, that it's finally come to the point where I have to talk to
or I'll explode. So here goes:
I'm 23 and petite, with 34Bs. I know some of you have smaller breasts than me, but I've always thought mine quite small. I've always been very introverted, and have difficulty making friends. I guess I don't have the personality where people naturally feel relaxed and comfortable around you. So I tend to keep to myself. Because of my introverted personality and the fact that my dad has always looked at emotions and emotional people as idiots without reason and rationality, I've never told
about my deepest feelings. And now since I recently graduated from college and feel lost in life, all of my bottled up feelings have come to the forefront and have become magnified. My feelings of being adrift in life have multiplied exponentially what I always thought of as a minor confidence problem. I've always had what I considered a small problem with feeling like I'll never succeed, that I don't have what it takes. Now because those feelings have grown out of control, I seem to be pulling all my other insecurities out of my closet and magifying those as well. I think feeling confident has always been a struggle and my small breasts have suddenly exploded into a real problem for me and I feel like I'm scrambling to build myself up again.
I remember back in middle and high school being excited that I would finally grow breasts and develop womanly curves. It didn't happen. I felt like I got short-changed, that God forgot about me in the middle of puberty. I felt like I was being punished. I remember in middle school I got asked out by a boy I liked and found out in front of an entire lunch table of his popular friends that it was a joke. I remember in high school watching all the girls getting boyfriends and I didn't. I didn't get my first boyfriend until after I graduated from high school, and I honestly think I only dated him because he was the only one that seemed to want me. I figured, I should date him because I don't know if it will ever happen again. After all, I'd been invisible to men my whole life. I didn't feel pretty, but I didn't feel ugly either. Just plain, not noticable either way. I actually remember one time in high school when I almost walked right into a popular guy because he opened the door for me and in my subconsious I didn't think that he would do that. I'm so used to being invisible and overlooked, that to this day, that door-opening experience reminds me how shocked I felt that a male would actually notice my existence and rush to open the door for me.
Naturally, it's human nature to want answers for the things that happen to us. I was always looking, trying to think of why I was always alone, why no one wanted me, and getting frustrated because I could not figure out for the life of me what was so wrong about me that I wasn't likeable to men. I would get confused and angry because I just didn't understand why I was overlooked so much. I actually don't normally obsess over my flaws, I actually usually don't think about it at all, I'm intelligent, I have a passion for science, I was always good in school, not a drama queen, very easy going and even tempered, and I've always been a reasonable person. And I honestly didn't think I was so unattractive that it would be impossible for a man to be attracted to me, so it really confused me when I had all these good qualities but nobody wanted to consider me in a romantic way. I think because of all my confusion over my invisibility, I latched on to my small breasts as the only scapegoat I could come up with. It was the only thing that I could see that might be a turn off for men, might be the reason they didn't want me.
We've all grown up with the societal view that small-breasts signal immaturity, pubescent femininity, not the sensual curves of womanhood. On the rational side, I know all this anxiety over my small breasts is stupid. I know that 60% of women have B-cups or less. I know that many small-breasted women have men that love them for who they are, and love their small breasts. But sometimes all the media and teasing and negative feedback from my teenage years still opens deep hurtful wounds. I wonder if anyone will be attracted to me, if anyone will love me. Would they cheat on me, and would I blame my breasts? I always worry that I wouldn't be able to keep a man, because you know their roaming eyes, and I'd wonder if he was shopping for someone better, prettier, more womanly and volumptuous. I worry that I would wonder if while with me, he would fantasize about how great it would be if I had curves. I worry that I would wonder if I turned him on, if my small breasts were a turn-off. I would wonder if he was just settling for my 'unfortunate lack of curves'. I feel sometimes like I would have to settle for a man because he would have to settle for the body I was given.
I've tried telling myself all the things that large-breasted women go through, the back pain, the talking to the chest, the labels. But it doesn't work. Sure, there are a lot of advantages to small breasts. I like sleeping on my stomach, I like hugging people close, I like not wearing a bra all the time, I like that they aren't saggy. But I still wish I looked more curvy. I feel like my body does not match the rest of me. I have the heart of a woman, the mind of a woman, the spirit of a woman, and i feel stuck sometimes in this unfeminine body. Other times I love my body and feel comfortable with it, and can't understand why it's not considered feminine by men and others. I understand that it would suck to constantly have people and men talking to your chest, and I imagine that large-breasted ladies might sometimes feel trapped in
bodies, like their bodies didn't match the women they are. But, in my mind, I dismiss this as a way to feel better about my small breasts because I figure, hey, at least they are noticed! After being invisible my whole life, being seen at all would be so nice.
I also HATE when people say "more than a mouthful/handful is a waste" and other such dismissive comments to try to make small-breasted women feel better. I don't want men to say this to me. I want them to say instead, "Small breasts are damn sexy, womanly, and feminine in their own right. They are beautiful and turn me on as much as larger breasts. I love small breasts on women!" THAT, my friends, would make me feel great if it came from a man's mouth. Not that stupid, more than a mouthful is wasteful crap. I wish we would hear some real compliments in response to small breasts, instead of those stupid evasive comments.
Also, if you have noticed recently, there seems to be this backlash against petite naturally thin women going on. I understand many women feel self-conscious about having curves and a little 'meat on their bones' and would write me off as an idiot for wishing I wasn't so thin. But I wish people would understand that every body type has their possible self-criticism. I've always grown up with the idea that men like women and women have curves, so I have always wished I could be like my curvy peers. Recently, I've been noticing that people have been saying things like "real women have curves", and people talking about how skinny is bad and unhealthy-looking and that men like women with something to grab on to. I don't have curves. I am healthy, but I happen to have a fast metabolism that keeps me shapeless. It just seems that recently people have been bashing women without curves in order to boost up those women who are self-conscious that they actually have them. This angers me because we shouldn't be bashing one body type to make another feel better. Why can't we all be beautiful? Tall, short, skinny, curvy, large breasts, small breasts. Why do we have to bring one down to build the other up?
Another gripe I have is clothing for small breasted women. Large-breasted women always seem to say that clothes fit better on us. They are WRONG. Clothes fit best on women with medium-sized breasts. Large-breasted women are always agonizing over how they are always popping out of their clothes, but small-breasted women constantly struggle when they cannot fill anything out. And I can't tell you how angry I used to get when I would go to buy a bra and they were either white, black, or nude colors. Nothing pretty, lacy, or racy for us smallies. Like we weren't feminine enough to have sexy clothing made for us. I always thought lingerie companies were telling us smallies that we weren't real women because we were small, that we weren't sexy so we didn't need the sexy underthings. It felt like they were patronizingly patting our backs from afar and telling us that when we develop into real women, then we can shop for real women's lingerie.
Ugh, I'm just in a slump right now, and appreciate anyone who read my post. I had to get that off my chest
It makes me feel better that there are ladies like you all who know how I feel, yet who have chosen to live life the best way they can, without going under the knife and bowing to pressure. When I come here and read comments from you ladies, I don't feel so isolated and alone. I don't feel so invisible. And I thank you for any comments you have to offer me, and any support as well.
Have a wonderful small boobie day, and LIVE SMALL! Haha, we should make yellow bracelets.
Hugs and love to you all,