Oct 26 2006, 11:09 AM
zoya~yeah, i'm in the same space as you. i'm clearing house. and the crush thing is such a waste of time. i just want something real, you know? i've been in the process of throwing out old things too. i kinda have this habit of doing that though. but, it is a good mental thing. makes it easier to move on.
sassygrrl~uh, you are dating mcgreek. get out of your denial grrl. ease up on the coffee!
AP~temptation is the first sin, ah yes. yeah, i'm sure you work well with J, but he doesn't seem up to snuff for you. for reals. don't go after the showpony...you've got yourself a stallion in HB.
*~*sending out good vibes to everyone*~*
Oct 26 2006, 11:10 AM
...totally jumping in to say i have this sort of crush thing going on with some new guy i met last week.
i'd been in on a self-imposed dating/crush hiatus for most of this year (which was a good thing, believe me). but now that i've met a potentially viable option, i canNOT help obsessing over him. we were myspace emailing earlier this week, and of course i am freaking out because he hasn't written back. the one silver lining is that we have some mutual friends, so the chances of running into him again are fairly high.
damn, i hate when i get this way. maybe i should go back to my hiatus!
Oct 26 2006, 01:18 PM
Stargazer, thanks for pointing that one out to me(dating McGeek) And, trying to ease up on the coffee. Only had two cups today.
I was just super worried about DMV bullshit. It got done. I finally got my ID.
Sending out good crushie vibes to everyone....
Oct 26 2006, 07:23 PM
hmmmmm i think i need to start hanging out in this thread. i also need the shy girls' guide to asking someone out. i have a crush on a dude who works at a cafe i go to often. we have the sort of friendship where we will have a short conversation every time i go there, and we will stop and say hi and have a short conversation if we see each other outside of the cafe, but i've never run into him anywhere that was an environment where i could have a decent, long conversation with him. i can't figure him out either--my bff was convinced he was gay (i wasn't so sure) but then i ran into him one day with HIS DAUGHTER. his myspace (which he doesn't know i know about....*shame*) says he's single, and doesn't have an orientation listed, so i'm assuming he and the mother are not together and i'd assume she has custody since i've only seen the baby once, and he works a low-wage job and just finished school. again, these are assumptions.
we've had this small-conversation-level of friendship for about six months, give or take a few. i had a complicated ex situation so i never stepped up the interaction, but now the ex sitch is over and i wanna suss him out but i'm not sure how--even more so because a) he might be gay? and
he has a kid?
also, my preffered mode of wooing tends to be by proxy--i like to utilize the us postal service, or leaving notes/mix cds/flowers/plastic toys whatever. basically i tend to like to show it but not say it.....
should i take the fact that we've been acquainted for a while and he hasn't asked me out yet as disinterest?
Oct 26 2006, 11:29 PM
mouse, kid means more things to do and talk about, frankly. if you're interested that is. i have found that mens i've dated who think kids are cool find mine an added bonus to the whole amazing girl thing. i for sure love a man with some offspring. you get to see what kind of a person he really is right quick.
ok, thangs that have occurred;
lovely, sexy mcsquee and i have a "yes, you know it's true, i want you" vibe going on. this boy is strictly for fun but we let it go on for long enough that we are both a bit emotionally attached and having trouble keeping our hands offa eachother in public
the ex mister and i have been chillin' for about a month.5 so far and all has not been hunky-dory But... some things have shifted for him recently and he is in a much better mood. i think.
~le sigh~ if he could just stabilize his mood in the pleasant and happy range i could be happy with just me and him for a long while.
very dirty ex shaggeroo showed up in town this week. we were both heartily disappointed that i am currently (frustratingly) engaged at the moment. we had lunch. not exacly our speed but i suppose it showed us both another dimension of eachother. the non-naked, sweaty, panting dimension i mean. that's good, right?
i still just want a man in my life who loves and adores and shags the hell outta me but what the hell? might as well get as much from as many as i can in the meantime.
now that sassy is back where in the world is Kal?
Oct 27 2006, 12:37 AM
mouse, you totally oughta suggest some casual, friendy get-together with your crush. Even if he's gay or not up for romance, you obviously connect somewhat and could get to know each other better...for friendship and whatever if nothing else.
I wouldn't take it as a sign that he's not interested, the fact that he hasn't asked you out. Men can be shy and careful and scared too. could be that he's not sure you're into him. One of my male friends who is sort of a ladies' man has told me that he almost never asks women out on the first date; he flirts or whatever and waits for them to do the actual asking out. You just never know.
Oct 27 2006, 10:58 AM
"you totally oughta suggest some casual, friendy get-together with your crush"
ahh this involves a: having something to invite him to do and b: asking! can't i just write it on a postcard or something? meeh...
pepper, i have no problem with him having a kid, i just think that occasionally that means no dating. like, sorry i'm way too busy HAVING A CHILD.
Oct 27 2006, 10:13 PM
I have beem missing from the board for a while, because I am in Thailand...on the island of Koh Phangan to be precise..!! I love this place.
Anyhoo, came over for a bit of diving, after leaving my job, got a fat payout so thought it would be good to take a break.
I am glad to see sassy back on the keyboard, and good to know you are doing well lil bustie!
As far as crushing goes, there have been many here, I do like travelling alone, it kinda forces you to make friends with people, and obviously I am going to befriend the female persuasion first
I had some really gratifying sex with a dive instructor, she was in desperate need of some cuddle after her BF ran away 3 months ago, no raucous shagging, just some tenderness, I was in the mood for that too, so in one of life's triumphs, we both got what we wanted from the sitch, and parted as good friends, and satisfied lovers...sooo nice.
Anyway, as soon as I am home, I will post more..
(((huggs))) to all!
Oct 27 2006, 11:37 PM
On line for The Prestige I had a nice conversation with a British man who just came in from London, and was so tired he wanted to see Man of the Year for a laugh. Sweet and funny guy. We joked about the Saw movies being predictable and the loud teenagers on the line.
This isn't a crush, but it was a nice encounter that made me feel sociable and slightly flirty. Because I keep to myself a lot, it's a rarity to start a conversation with a stranger, and with an attractive guy.
Oct 28 2006, 12:22 AM
hey everyone! sounds like all is well in crushieland. i have survived my midterms with a new crush in the making. yay! though i'm being extra careful with this one, and not not not letting my guard down too quickly. but he's super cute and totally quirky, and makes me laugh.
he now makes sure we have lunch together everyday we're in school together. we studied together twice this week, at his suggestion. and this morning i told him i was going to head to school early to study in the coffee shop, and he showed up there! it's so much fun to just let a guy follow you around without putting any effort into it.
we'll see how this goes....i'm still not totally over the last one, which keeps me from doing anything too crazy, so probably a good thing right now.
Oct 28 2006, 12:24 AM
oh GROSS!! blech.
mister came over tonight to get my keys, he's going out with his friend in town and is crashing here after. so he wanted to give me a kiss before he split and, ugh, way too much tongue and way not enough lip. oh man, i am in so much trouble. we didn't shag at all the whole time i was at his place last weekend, i just ain't feeling it but i KNOW he is gonna come in late and want to wake me up. how do you tell someone to stop slobbering in your mouth so much without offending them? there is just no way. ick.
Oct 30 2006, 05:44 AM
Hey Kal! Take many pics of Thailand. I've always wanted to go... and diving as well!
This weekend was fab. We went to Lewis Black (he was awesome. It was my second time of seeing him), and spent the rest of the weekend at McGeek's house. "Are you sure you want me around? I won't be in the way?" "You couldn't get in the way if you tried. Please stay!" We made dinner, and then he got all sad that I was leaving. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong... now I feel like shit." Yet, we both had to work in the morning.
Plus, he lives an hour away from me.
I think he still felt weird that I was able to pay for the Black tickets on my own. Yet, I have my own money. I think this may be a new concept for him. We got into a little tiff about it. But, it worked out. I don't think he's used to dating a woman who has her own money or independance. I have a feeling in his marriage he must have paid for everything. Just a hunch.
Also, I'm finally meeting his friends for the holidays. This is a big step.
He's only met one of my friends, and that was by accident in the hospital. He still hasn't met my three best friends.
Going back to work today. Scared and anxious. Bleh.
Annak, I loove British men. That's one reason that I want to go back to England.
Maybe in Feb or March. Did you like Man of the Year? Someone at the Lewis show asked Lewis to run. His answer was "Only if he could get laid more..."
((good crushie vibes to everyone))
Oct 30 2006, 10:03 AM
kal - have a blast in thailand! my friend is there right now, actually.
pepper - there is a nice-ish way to tell a guy you don't want too much slobber and tongue....i've done it by, basically body language - if he comes on with too much tongue, pull back a little bit so you're still kissing but he shoudl get the hint. if not tell him, baby i love kissing you but i prefer it with a little less tongue....he should not get insulted 'cause you just said how much you love kissing him.
and yes - dating a man with kids, you find out quickly how he is, how he reacts to things.
i'm loving my crushes. but, i think they are starting to get attached, which means i may have to make a decision soon.....they both have pros and cons....but at some point, i'm going to get tired of having a date with a different guy every night LOL
how to deal with shy guys without being 'pushy'?
Oct 30 2006, 10:42 AM
well, he stayed out all night long and showed up at my place at about 10am to drop off my keys and head home so i was off the hook for the moment. we've made and broke plans every day since then but i think he's coming over tonight. i'll try your suggestion P but he just isn't a very good listener. and the body language thing never works with him. he isn't a very good listener that way either. meh, i am so done with this boy. i miss mcsquee and his gentle goodness. le sigh.
Oct 30 2006, 11:08 AM
McGeek isn't a cuddler after sex. It's weird to me. I'm trying not to take this as a bad sign, b/c we're finally entering that comfortable stage. Although, he's still really nervous to talk about the seizures and his divorce. I'm just worried that she will be over there at some point to pick some of her crap up, and find a bra or my toothbrush. As far as he tells me, she doesn't know about me. And he doesn't know about her relationships. I don't think he wants to know. Although, he does have this "nosy neighbor" who is the ex's aunt. So, I'm sure she knows about me.
This has nothing to do with my crush situation, but my job didn't let me back to work today b/c I didn't have a doctor's note stating when I could. I mean the "exact date." Am I 10? And then my supervisor had enough balls to yell and say: "Go sit at your desk!!!" and ask me about my coffee intake. And then I had to go talk to her boss, and he had to explain it again, and acted like I was a total moron.
So, then I had to go to the doctor's office (and the letter was stated last week and said 10/30/06 on it) and get an original copy, and two other copies. I know that everyone is trying to cover their asses, but I'm so freaking sick of the blame game there. They blamed my doctor and me, I blame them. I know that something wrong happened, but this is such bullshit. I just don't like it that they don't believe me. So looking for another job. And, this is a government agency!! Bastards.
Add on top of all this, a really bad migrane, a bitchy landlord, and cramps.
I'm glad I'm home. Because, I would have gone back to work, and just quit.
((pepper)) ((kal)) ((everyone))
Oct 30 2006, 01:09 PM
went by the cafe TWICE this weekend (had need to go there anyway for internet access, but still) and he was not there either time. meh.
i have a ridiculous questionnaire for him. i cannot say things and so i have to write them or do them secretly. but if he doesn't appreciate it, then i'm not interested in that kind of boy anyway. he's a literary guy tho so i think he would be amused. just have to SEE him.....myeah.
pepper, that's gross. i'm sorry
Oct 30 2006, 03:12 PM
Mouse, that sounds like a cute idea. Especially if he's a literary guy.
I'm worried about my boyfriend's dog, which isn't even mine. How fucked up is that? It's the ex's dog too! (I realized it was not her, but his spastic beagle that bite my leg last time).
Oct 31 2006, 01:15 PM
i finally got a goodbye kiss.....the guy was nervous and shy about it, so that made me shy about it, and so i don't think the first impression for either of us was that great....the other guy i am dating, we've kissed but not with tongue, and this other guy keeps asking me out but i can't figure out if he just is being friendly or if he really likes me.
darn guys who live a state away! lol
Oct 31 2006, 01:57 PM
Mouse, I gotta ask... why are you so afraid of just saying, "Hi. I like you. I think you like me. Let's grab a drink down to the Smogcutter & see where it goes." It's completely innocent. Two people getting a drink & attempting to get to know each other a little better. What's with the subterfuge? I don't know how old you are, but the whole, "Do you like me, check box X for yes, check box Y for no," shit just seems weird & junior high. I can appreciate the literary thing, but it just seems to be more about being ascairt than being creative to me. It also comes across as fussy. Shy? *FUCK* shy. The meek shall not inherit the earth lest we all die out. You're better than that. Also, you're making a lot of assumptions about him/his lifestyle that you won't be able to clear up until you make the final plunge. You'll never know until you bite the bullet. It *might* bite you in the ass, but you'll be better for it, yea or nay on his part. Life/love are learning experiences. Good or bad, drink deep! Another thing, writing things down should clarify your thoughts for you so you can actually say them. DO IT! Don't make me quote Auntie Mame at you!
Hate on ya'll. I can take it. I am such an asshole, but I hate to see people cockblock themselves for no good reason. The world is full of possibilities & to let the *thought* of rejection hold you back... ridiculous. NO MOTHERFUCKING FEAR! We all fuck up along the way, but without fuck ups we don't learn. GROW with every yes or no.
Oct 31 2006, 02:28 PM
thank you, ap, and now let me answer your questions.
number one, yes, the concept is junior high but the excecution is cheeky and creative. i promise. it's on this faded, ancient little postcard i found at the children's hospital thrift store before it went out of business that says: "social services auxiliary: ways and means committee, los angeles, california. i accept your invitation to be a captain. signed ___________" (which i LOVE because seriously, it could mean ANYTHING. oh, it also has a place for a 3-cent stamp) and my questionnaire is not simply "check a for yes, b for no". it's got three parts and each has multiple choice answers and i use big words and humour.
more of me comes across in writing. and i love utilizing the us postal service to woo people--i got the two most interesting boys i've ever dated that way (and this guy, if i get him too, would get on that list too. as in love as i was with the last dude, he wasn't the most interesting). i think it's always easy for people who have good social skills to say to people who don't, oh just don't be shy! it doesn't really work that way, and for me it's a physical thing. which is kind of delicious in an utterly embarassing way--i love the fact that i can have such a crush on someone that they make me drop things and stutter. but this doesn't help me present myself as true as i am. i'm a fucking awesome, literate, smart interesting and creative lady and i don't think he gets that from me spilling my coffee and making the kind of smalltalk i've learned to make over the past year or so. and the thing is--over the past year or so i've gotten much more socially adept. i can make smalltalk, i can get along with people. but this guy is worth so much more than that. this is the type of guy that fits into the life i thought i left behind, where i was more creative and more interesting and more weird, which i am just realizing now that i've kind of lost sight of lately. and he makes me remember it. and he is fucking SMART. S-M-R-T. he's writing a novel and translating french media theory, for chrissakes. and it makes me WANT to be weird again, cos i feel like i've gotten so normalized lately.
the last guy i dated, the ex i've been struggling with for the past year, is totally NORMAL. he wants a family, a secure job, he wants a classy bachelor pad and likes to buy designer sunglasses and wants to work for big, commercial companies.
the guy before him was this crazy kid who worked at the best bookstore, record store, movie store and porn store in town, had a pre-law degree but would rather make me mixtapes of the most obscure twee bands, blushed like a girl, lived in a closet (literally--room for his bed and record player, nothing else) and the reason i fell for him was because a) he wore a gold lame raincoat and mismatched knee socks to the danceparty we met at and
when he found out i liked him he drew up a fake marriage certificate filling in all sorts of hilarious made-up facts about me and my family.
i forgot about that kind of life, and i miss it. straight-up asking someone out is too normal for me. but i appreciate the sentiment
Oct 31 2006, 02:45 PM
I'm proud of you, mouse. You sound so creative and interesting and cool. I've met the most interesting guys as friends first, through school and work mostly. I've stopped dating because I don't like the formality and the staleness of it, I prefer to get to know men as invididuals rather than as "do I want to fuck him yes or no?" I applaud your tactics and that it has worked so well for you. Good luck!
Oct 31 2006, 03:12 PM
oh maude, i just realized...he kisses like he licks pussy, all tongue and lots of slobber. gah.
i got some of both last night, liked the latter, not so much the former.
Oct 31 2006, 03:28 PM
See, you just illustrate my point. Why do you devalue yourself? You're a better person on paper than in reality? I HIGHLY doubt that. As a writer, I understand how it is paper vs. real life. On paper I'm the most awesome chick on the planet. IRL I'm a spasticated dork. The written word gives you time to be *perfect*, but IRL when you hook up you aren't always gonna have that opportunity. Dorktitude is a definite possibility. In my case, a HIGH possiblity. You're never gonna be as perfect on paper as you are IRL. I don't doubt that he might be charmed by the card, I just feel like you're hiding you light under a bushel. Mutliple choice, big words & humour are cute on a vintage, cutesy card, but will you be able to do that in person? Is spontaneity that crippling for you? How is that gonna work out? He's gonna be all charmed by the chick that wrote the card, but horrified by the one that spills her coffee & acts like a retard? Do you think he's that shallow, & if so, why are you persuing him? If that's not the case, then what makes you think that you'll behave differently once you've reeled him in with your written wit? Me, I'd still be fucking retarded & likely drooled, spilled my joe, & made a crass joke. But that's just me.
If you met me in in a coffee shop you'd likely not know I was AP. My personality doesn't come screaming out until you've sat down, gotten half way through your second cuppa joe, I feel comfy with you. Publicly, I can often be rather reserved. I met a guy on Saturday that thought I was a total cold bitch, but wound up ignoring his date because we had a simple, civil conversation about something random.
I understand how tasty it can be to be a stuttering pile of goo. It's something I find attractive. It's charming. It's being honest about the way I feel/how I make somebody else feel. You seem to know that you're fucking brilliant, so you *can* be putting it out there with the goofy. You're mutli-faceted! Embrace it! You can be a sex goddess & a retard at the same time. It provides for post-coital laughs in the sack!
I HATE small talk. HATE IT. Hence I talk about the things I find interesting. Better, I talk about things *he* finds interesting. Not that hard to suss out. "What are you interests?" Since I'm interested in a lot this is generally no problem.
You seem to be hanging on to the past. Those boys were then, this boy is now. The thing about the past is that it's just that. The past. NOW is a different time with different expectations. You can't keep comparing the then with the now. You're not weird enough, you're not interesting enough. That seems to be a deficiency on your part. I can see how a new fella might remind you of that, but he can't you make change that. A man can't make you the *you* you want to be. Only you can do that. Don't live though a relationship. YOU forgot that life. YOU made the choice to let that fall to the wayside. A guy can't make the way of life that you "thought" it should be. That's up to YOU. Why make some poor sucker bear the brunt of that? You're cockblocking yourself.
Look, HB is nothing I ever thought happiness could be outside of the smart & the sexy. He is so far out of my norm as to be almost unimaginable. Have I fucked up along the way? Hell yes. BUT. BUT he's the best thing that ever happend to me. I took a chance on something that was wholly unfamiliar to me & I fucking WON. JACKPOT. I natter on about the other boys, but they're just that. BOYS. If you had asked me a year ago, "Hey, AP, do you think you could find love with a completely socially retarded, old enough to be your father, genius, chemical engineer with a collection of really ugly shirts," I'd pop you in the snoot. Did it happen? Yeah, it did. And I thank white baby Jebus. Hell, if you asked if I thought I could find love I'd laugh in your face. But here I am. I knew he going after him was a risk & I took it. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Oct 31 2006, 03:41 PM
ap, with all due respect, how am i cock-blocking myself if i'm still asking him out? why does it matter how i do it? i prefer the idea of the card. if one of the boys i had a vague crush on when i was working as a barista were to ask me out that way, i'd be ten times more enamored than if he'd just done it verbally. it's not that i think i'm better on paper, that's PART of me. and it's a part i want to show him. it's not about presenting a better side of myself, it's about presenting MORE of myself.
i hate small talk too. and i want to talk about his interests but there's only so much one can say across a cash register with a line of people behind one while the object of one's affection is juggling three cappucinos. which is why i wanna ask him out. and which is why i wanna do it in a way that show a little more of my personality--which frankly, NO, does NOT come across right off the bat in person. i'm not being fake. i'm not covering up shit. i'm being MYSELF.
and the reason i'm comparing a lot of things with the past is because i'm just finally free of a relationship that lasted far too long after it was apparent that it wasn't as important as i had first thought it to be. and it really got me out of my own head, and now i'm coming back into that. and of course the only time i have to compare it to is the past, when i was like that before.
your points are very valid, but none of them are in opposition with anything i think or said. i'm still asking him out, but i'm doing it my way. how is that limiting myself?
Oct 31 2006, 05:24 PM
Mouse, are you going to ask him out via card? Wouldn't a letter be better?
Just thinking you could write more in a letter than a card. Unless, you're actually making the card. ?
I am also a writer. I think it's sort of a lost art form. Although, email has become such a common thing these days. To me, there is nothing cooler than getting a letter or a card from someone. Because, they took the time to write. I don't know if that makes any sense. Yet, I miss it.
I also am a total dork in real life.
Small talk annoys me. It seems I always run into people (on trains on the way to work) that try to engage me in it. I think I have one of those trusting faces or something. Maybe I should have been a therapist. Anyways, I'd much rather talk about stuff that interests me.
I also believe in "nothing ventured nothing gained." logic. Hell, if I hadn't asked McGeek out (which was taking a huge risk) in the first place, we would have never met. And to think we met online, which is so fucking bleh. If someone told me 2 months ago, that I would be falling for a "short software engineer who is also socially retarded, and has a collection of geeky shirts. Also loves physics and math!," I would have given you a WTF look. But, it happened. And he's still around. I don't know how long he'll be around, but I'm just enjoying the ride.
Pepper, was the oral sex better than the kissing? Hmm...
Quoting Auntie Mame: Live! Life's a Banquet and most poor suckers (are starving to death!
Sorry, one of my favorite movies. Rent it today.
Oct 31 2006, 06:09 PM
oh, lord, now i don't feel like doing it any way.
the point is, i'm asking him out in my own way.
Oct 31 2006, 06:24 PM
That's fine. Good for you!
Oct 31 2006, 08:43 PM
AP, you just beat me to the punch about the whole "card" asking out thing?
mouse~it seems like you want to be romantic. alluring. mystery. a little cheeky. that's cool. at the same time, i would question some guy who couldn't even hold a conversation with me in person. i would like the letter thing after the fact that you two have been social. all you gotta say is, "hey, we should go out for some coffee or whatever sometime." pretty easy. of course when the time is right. or, at least, give yourself time to get there. dude, that's how i tried to work the customercrush last time. found out what he liked to read so prepare myself for a conversation starter for next time. small talk can be helpful in learning about someone. sometimes you have to start with yourself. it is really a great lead. and most men appreciate a women who is able to be assertive and initiate things. but, now, i feel like i'm mothering you. you should like you know what you want to do. good luck.
Oct 31 2006, 09:23 PM
I'm no expert about dating, relationships, or asking people out, but my 2 cents about mouse's sitch: In my perception, making a card/note thingy as a means of asking someone out seems sorta cute and all, but it seems way more risky. 'Cause it's not just saying, 'hey, we should talk more sometime; let's get together.' It's saying, 'I've been sitting around thinking about you specifically.'
If I say, "hey, let's go get a beer sometime," to a person that I'm wanting to get to know, I'm leaving the door open for them. They can respond with "Sure! When?" if they're into it, or they can kinda still be friendly w/o ever taking me up on it. Or they can take me up on it later. Or whatever. We're still friendly aquaintances with our dignity intact, even if they are not into being more than that.
If I put a lot of time and thought into writing a special message on a special card to ask someone out, it's like amping up the whole thing...the situation becomes more charged, and unless the card is going to an exceptionally kind, insightful, and well-spoken person, there's no easy way for them to let it slide. To me, sending a card makes it seem like you're asking for more than just a chance to perhaps get to know someone better. And maybe that's fine, if that's what you want. But it seems way scarier to me than just casually suggesting a get-together.
Ran into WC again today. His health problems have forced him to clean up his act a bit. He hasn't been able to work very much lately, let alone party. Of course, his life is still filled with all sorts of craziness though. It was kinda good to see him...we chatted for a while, and I guess it made me feel like I'd done the right thing, getting out of the relationship. I've missed him a lot, and when I've seen him out with other women, I would feel hurt and sad and lonely. But he is a confused man with a hell of a lot of problems. Sweet, handsome, good in bed, but he's a mess. I kinda love him, but I don't want to be that close to that much trouble.
Nov 1 2006, 06:02 AM
while i think that the note thing is adorable, i wouldn't do it myself. However, I would be UBERflattered if it happened to me. So nothing ventured, nothing gained, miss mouse. Although this is just my shot of the top opinion at 4:15 am. Yeah, and why am I up? Because the age31 to my age20 text messaged me at 2 am, i got home at 4 am, replied, "you still up?" he said "maybe" and now i'm waiting for a reply. I will forgo a nights' sleep if we can meet up; haven't seen him in 2 weeks. He says he's too old for me, but he's at the same place in life (starving artist) and he's so hot, i'm obsessed and so juvenile. And AP, I love what you had to say about HB and his collection of shirts. Also thought it was funny about the coffee shop analogy. And I'm exhausted. Send vibes to my cellphone! Or rather, age31's cellphone.
Nov 1 2006, 09:32 AM
i think its pretty safe to say most girls would like being asked out by a card ( i would be kinda weirded out like- get a life and buy me a beer.) but i think guys would think it was a bit much, just as edna pointed out.
i think its pretty safe to say most girls would like being asked out by a card ( i would be kinda weirded out like- get a life and buy me a beer.) but i think guys would think it was a bit much, and way over the top esp if you dont talk to him much as it is. he would kinda be like, ok girl likes me and sent me a card to ask me out but we dont even talk.
just flat out ask him i think.
Nov 1 2006, 09:39 AM
I am now back in the sandpit, after being in paradise.....I am starting to dislike living in the desert, ...but it will likely pass, this feeling, and all insanity will be restored.
I am not so sure about the note thing that mouse is on about, but certainly my curiosity would come to life if such a questionnaire/quiz were put in front of me. I agree to some extent with AP that it may appear somewhat juvenile, but I too am sometimes better at expressing myself through written media rather than talking. It means that sponteneity is lost, and sometimes the other person can misinterpret what you want to say, but it does allow you to accurately portray your true word.....go along with it I say.
GlassK, he said maybe, the next reply should have been yours, thus...."Maybe?? If you are, lets meet, if not, sleep well and call me in the morning"
Pepper...do it back to him (I meant the slobbery, tonguey kisses.....if you want to add in the oral, that is your choice) ...give him some of his own medicine. I reckon if you have tried telling him, pulling away too, then try the last resort. Tell him you need a tender but firm kiss, not a St Bernard lick-fest.
Crushing in my world has been crushed. I met a Swiss girl in Thailand who rocked my world....for three days, and I walked away knowing that I had had an interlude with possibly the most infectious person I have ever met. She has travelled extensively in her 31 yrs, has been to many lovely far away places, and enthralled me with her tales, captivated me with her beauty, and intimately taught me things with her voice, her mouth, her hands and her embrace. I miss her, I will always miss her.
I don't look forward to recovery process....
That is all.
Nov 1 2006, 11:50 AM
first i said i didn't need to explain it, but i do want to say some things. because first of all, i kind of feel a little attacked and second of all, i certainly wasn't asking a bunch of people i've never met to give me, some girl they've never met, permission to ask out some guy they've never met either.
first and foremost, saying "hey, let's get a beer" is not my style. it never has been. i never intend it to be. not because i'm "scared" or "cockblocking" myself but simply because it's not me.
secondly, juvenile? really? even so, i really don't care. maybe if i classified this as a "gift" instead of a "note" it might make more sense to y'all.
thirdly: "guys would think it was a bit much". guys? i'm not into generalizations. and besides, a lot about this guy would be thought of as "a bit much" by "guys". "i would be kinda weirded out like- get a life and buy me a beer": never has my brain ever worked this way.
and: "it seems way more risky....It's saying, 'I've been sitting around thinking about you specifically.'" the whole point of asking him out is to stop pretending that i don't have a crush on him. if he's not interested, he's not interested. it's rejection either way, may as well make it interesting.
"it seems like you want to be romantic. alluring. mystery. a little cheeky." i just wanna be myself. i'm not faking anything.
lastly: we have the smalltalk thing down. i'm sick of smalltalk. whenever i see this guy, it's across a cash register. there are other people behind the counter too, not to mention a line of them behind me. everybody's busy. you can't really have an in depth conversation about baudrillardian semiotics with a shit-ton of people tapping their foot waiting for their coffee.
"my curiosity would come to life" thank you kalevra, that's the whole point.
i could write out the whole thing to prove that i know what i'm doing, that it's not overbearing and leaves him a friendly out, but i didn't even want to get into it this much. suffice to say, i'm not worried.
i appreciate the input but i can't help feeling a little ganged up on. it's my decision. it's my style. with all due respect, you don't know me and you don't know this guy. and thank you to those who said "do it if you want".
now i will stop being a thread hog and let everyone back to their regularly scheduled crushing. vibes for glassk's phone and yay for kalevra finding an infectious swedish girl. maybe she'll travel more and you'll meet up with her again
Nov 1 2006, 02:25 PM
I think you should do it your way Mouse, because A) if thats how you feel most comfrotable in an effort to possibly take it to the next step why not, and
You doing it any way is not going to effect anyone but you, so why not?
I also understand the part you wrote about feeling like you kind of lost yourself getting so caught up in your ex, and now you have been realizing all that you have been missing and want to get back to that...I went through the exact same thing.
PS. Can I ask, what is your zodiac sign???
Nov 1 2006, 03:48 PM
Nov 1 2006, 05:15 PM
Nov 1 2006, 05:19 PM
huh? wait. thats probably not a good thing considering you post in the crush thread and arent in a steady relationship etc? i dont know i can never follow. if it is a good thing, congrats!
Nov 1 2006, 07:17 PM
hey y'll! Back from a crazy week! Been on a kissing rampage, think I left 3 or 4 casualties in its wake...no real crushes tho, just some serious lip bruising!
whoa, pepper, dont drive-by with something like that!!
theres been too much going on here to respond to, so I'll just try and keep up and get back later!
Nov 1 2006, 07:22 PM
hahaha! drive by whammy!
i'm two weeks late, i started getting suspicious last week but when i got pregnant before i knew right away and always thought the next time would be the same. apparently not, it's a sneaky knock-up this time. anyhow, i went to the doc today and there you go. it's happy news, i like having babies partner or not (well, actually, i've only done the "not" version so i have no idea what the other one is like). nothing will change between us, i won't live with him again that's for sure! he can visit.
now i know why i've been so dang tired lately anyhow. guess that's it with the naughty girl business for me so i'm checking out for a while. see ya cats later...
Nov 1 2006, 07:27 PM
oh my goodness, pepper, congrats!
Nov 1 2006, 07:28 PM
Nov 1 2006, 09:19 PM
I just thought I'd bump.....
Yeah I've changed alot.I've got my own apartment and am no longer going gaga over any guy that sorta rings my bell.I will however keep you posted about any cute guys that are in my vicinity,although I'm not really looking for it I am definatly up for it(if that makes any sense??)
I was reading past posts and came to this one by Aural Poison.This part rocks...
(((( You seem to be hanging on to the past. Those boys were then, this boy is now. The thing about the past is that it's just that. The past. NOW is a different time with different expectations. You can't keep comparing the then with the now. You're not weird enough, you're not interesting enough. That seems to be a deficiency on your part. I can see how a new fella might remind you of that, but he can't you make change that. A man can't make you the *you* you want to be. Only you can do that. Don't live though a relationship. YOU forgot that life. YOU made the choice to let that fall to the wayside. A guy can't make the way of life that you "thought" it should be. That's up to YOU. Why make some poor sucker bear the brunt of that? You're cockblocking yourself.))))
This was so me in the past,this lil quote makes me so hopeful
Im now making my life.....very empowering.
But I still love boys oh yes sir I do lol!!!!
Nov 2 2006, 01:30 PM
congrats pepper! check in every once and awhile to let us know how you are doing!
greenbean~sounds like you had a good time!
datagirl~congrats on making changes for yourself! crushes are great. it is more for entertainment value. but, a real good relationship is sweet when it happens. remember executive cock!
Nov 4 2006, 09:44 AM
Heh. Executive Cock.
McGeek's dog is in really bad health. Some muscle disorder. Anyways, the dog can't take steroids. So, his ex wife (it's her dog) took it to some vet specialist, and they are both not sure how long the dog will have to live.
McGeek thinks his ex is lying, and was all pissed about that. Not to mention, that now she has her dog back.
He is just bummed. So, I'm going to make him dinner (moussaka) tonight, and just chill out and watch some movies with him.
We both had shitty weeks (I'm very close to quitting my job. Yet, I think that's what they want me to do, so I'm not going to give in to it), and just feeling like caving it tonight.
GB, sounds like had a blast!
Mouse, did you send the card?
Datagirl, crushes rock!
Good crushie vibes to everyone!
Nov 4 2006, 02:45 PM
yeah, I had a good time,...but its over now!!
I need a new crush...
Nov 4 2006, 03:42 PM
Starbucks boy is back, but he's all pissed that I'm dating McGeek. I keep telling him that we just started dating, but he (SB) doesn't seem to get the hint. I mean, we can still be friends. Yet, I think he wants something more.
Happy crushie vibes
Nov 5 2006, 10:44 AM
I go over to McGeek's house to make mousakka for him last night. It took 4 freaking hours to prepare. His reply: Eh. Okay, I can understand maybe that the man doesn't like eggplant (although honestly, last night was the first time he had ever tried it).
We got into a weird discussion about weddings. Apparantly, the ex and him got married in a courthouse. I then brought up the looniness that was my sister's wedding. This was all this morning. He said, "Well, I had the best wedding imaginable...." and went into the whole wedding thing. Awkward to say the least, and he brought up weddings first, not me. I think we got on the subject of bachelor parties, and it happened from there.
I did one stupid mistake though. I brought up that a friend of mine was jeolous of him. He sort of flipped out."How many people are jeolous??" I then said that the friend (SB) thought that we would move in together. Mcgeek's answer was a firm and quick NO!
Now, I realize this. I'm totally ignoring the fact the Oct happened. It did happen though. I know it was tramatic for everyone. And I know we are still new. But, I'm just wondering if I can deal with all the anal and OCD tendancies with this guy. For he has many. And I know we all have our quirks, but can we put up with eachother's ones?
And the sex hasn't gotten better. Ugh.
Going out with my best friend, and going to bitch, and see a movie.
In good news, I drove by my (maybe) new apartment. It's new a new retail district in Little Five Points, and about 5 minutes from the train station.
As stargazer keeps telling me, I just need to breathe. Calm the fuck down.
Happy crushie vibes to everyone.
Nov 5 2006, 05:04 PM
Damn, Sassy. The sex hasn't gotten better? I know how hard it is to deal with an OCDer as I am one, but that sucks for you. Mix it up, McGeek!
Okay, so why am I not even the littlest bit gay? Huh? NOT FAIR! Women are supposed to be more fluid sexually, but girls don't turn me on at all. I could totally be rocking a hot little Japanese girlfriend right now if I was queer. This girl comes 'round to my local with a guy that has had a crush on me forever. Now she has one too. While I enjoy her attentions, I can't say she makes me happy in the pants. She's GORGEOUS! Half the guys I know would want to fuck her. I can't even seem to stir up a tiny wettie for her. *sigh*
Have spent the last several nights (Wed-Sat) w/Tcrush. I don't really crush on him anymore, but I still enjoy his company. He's moving to NYC soon, so maybe I can hook him up w/one of ya'lls sexy selves.
So he who shall be formerly known as Jcrush. Been avoiding him. Heard he dumped the Fifi. No dice. She lurked today & last night. He invited me out Tuesday & I blew him off. I waved at him yesterday after he waved at me. Today I held him at arms length. We talked a bit last weekend & basically I came to the realization that he *respects* me too much to fuck me. Yeah. I'm *that* chick. Klassy with a K.
Had a fabulous, cozy day with HB. He's turning me into a snuggler! We laid on the sectional & just rested & touched. It wasn't sexual, just soothing & comforting. Things almost always turn sexy with us, but this was just like... reconnection. Confirmation. He spent an hour gauging the heat/softness of my skin in various places. Apparently the small of my back & the base of my neck are my two warmest/softest parts. Cod help me, but I love this man.
Nov 5 2006, 05:15 PM
We did having morning sex. As he just grabbed me, and before I knew it my panties were hanging off a lamp. So, this is a good sign. However, he just comes way too quickly once the condom is on. And, of course I keep thinking it's me. I'm wondering if maybe he masturbates before hand? Or I could try to blow him? I know this isn't my fault, but I will have a great sex life damnit.
And the other stuff will work itself out. I've made a pact with myself to not see Mcgeek until Thanksgiving. And that will give us both the space we both need and deserve.
I wish I could find a pretty girl to just kiss. I guess I want to explore some of bi tendancies, as I miss them. McGeek lives in Decatur (which one area has many pretty girls). Maybe next time we hang out, I can just stroll down the main square wearing one of my tit shirts.
I keep wanting to reallyhang out with SB. Yet, he keeps saying this bs about that he can't be near me b/c he's attracted to me. Yet, he had his chance to ask me out, and never had the balls. But, he's a decent friend. And I still like talking to him.
AP, that sucks about JCrush, but so rocking about HB.
I'll PM you if I get a chance tonight.
Nov 6 2006, 12:21 AM
I met a really cute guy for all of 2 minutes and the mutual attraction was instantly palpable. And it wasn't just sexual, it was also this 'I think I could really like you' feeling. I have confirmation from a friend that he's nice and cool and everything too. It's been a while since I've been seriously crushed out (unless you count wanting my ex back, but that's totally different). This is ridiculous, and possibly unhealthy, because I'm thinking about this guy that I know nothing about way too much! I hate it because I feel like I'm building up these expectations, and will ultimately scare him or be disappointed or totally blow it. How do I stop????