Sep 21 2006, 10:08 PM
another drive by!
AP - I can't agree with you more. I NEVER got this much attention when I was mid-twenties. I think for me, it's what everyone else said, plus, I dont' take things so seriously now. At the moment, I could care less about having a *serious* relationship. The last guy I thought I was gonna get serious with pretty much cured me of that idea. I have more favored and less favored guys... but my ideal at the moment would be a few crushes, with a couple of those getting to be good friends (more and most favored status!!) that I can have benefits with without it getting weird. But I don't know how realistic that is.
in other news... woke up to a text from HGF the other day saying he'd been dreaming about me. eek. Straight Edge guy hung out with me one night and made a big deal of hanging the next night, then proceeded to stand me up, without even a "I'm really sorry I can't make it" call or text. And he still hasn't contacted me. I have a new crush on fellow employee, but I think that he might have a GF. It's funny, I've worked with him for months, and I never noticed him before.
ok that's all!!
Sep 22 2006, 12:20 AM
I was just about to send a search party, Zoya! Thought of you this morning.
New Guy is New Guy. Same name as HB, which is weird. He's not hot, like Jcrush or HB. Plain, actually. Bald. I have a desire to rub my boobies on his head. He's obviously a deviant & I like that in a man. I approached him because he was bragging on how cool his keychain was. I bet him mine was cooler. It was. That started the ball rolling & we started chatting on line late at night. We just wrapped up our convo before I toddled on in here. I lost his number, though. Not that it would have helped, his chicken scratch is worse than mine. I don't see the potential for anything but sex.
Anyway, as some of you (Big ups, to mah bitches!) well know I am in a conundrum with the abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous Jcrush. For those that don't... he's in my grille. It was one thing when he just joked around & fetched my drinks, but we've become *friends*. A deeper connection has been forged, if you will. I see a side of him that most women don't. He trusts & respects me. He values my opinion. We went to the movies on Sunday at his prompting. We hung out on Tuesday night after he got off work for a couple hours & he basically blew off the girldujour to do so. Intimate secrets were shared. He will not introduce me to girldujour. He made plans to go to the biggest party of the year with me. Not girldujour. We've had a really strong connection ever since the first time we met. First rule of my local is don't date anybody from there, especially an emplyee. But he sends me the sweetest text messages & just all around rules.
Sep 22 2006, 12:42 AM
**steps gingerly into the sex barn***
erm, ok ....so everyone is getting shagged silly in here, and I am still not.getting.anything.
Last eve, I end up in a bar/restaurant thingy to meet up with some mates who have just returned from a vacation that they want to gloat about (yadda yadda).
Whilst there, a group of my girl friends arrive on a b'day celebration, all of them are good looking ladies, all of them in their early 30's, most of them in relationships.......and they man-handled me!! It was soo cool tohave this bevy of beauties passing tons of attention on me, at one point some guys were sayg "What the fuck aftershave have you got on" HAHAHAHAHAAH....
anyhoo, with them is a pretty blonde, rather shy looking and tiny...*poof* instant crush....so I eventually work myself into a position where I can make idle banter, ....and it kicks off....she is soooo my kind of girl, NO make-up, not a classic model look to her but oh so intriguing ...I sat and spoke with her for ages, had her laughing like a schoolgirl and she's having fun, a bit of light 'accidental' brushing all the classic signs...
On my way to the bar later, chatting with the other party-girls, and one of them casually mentions that crushie-girl is getting married in a few weeks
I asked her previously, I made sure to do that, I checked for rings.....nothing, she even said no when I asked about BF....
I was soo pissed, I left.....not even a goodbye.
Neighbour crushie sent me a text from Italy while I slumbered last night so
AP, I love your evil!
Sassy, over here ~~~~waves~~~~~
pepper, hope you are doing the right thing, buit judging from some of your posting, I am sure you have had much thought...go girl.
Collectively, it would appear that all of you have had a confidence boost at the age of 30, and are getting a good 'seeing to' as a result. The other thing I can tell you that is an attraction for the boys, is the fact that you have some experience, are not ashamed to say what you want (in bed and otherwise) and your flirting abilities have been honed to perfection....that way, the boys start getting the impression that *they* are the ones being picked up..
Sep 22 2006, 12:59 AM
oh my goodness, may i just reiterate at this point how much i absolutely *adore* having this man in the thread? oh yes i do.
buster, you just better stick around. this place'll have no flavour after you. well, ok Some flavour. just not as much.
the mister perspective really puts it all in perspective...
hmmm...yes, i have NO idea what i'm doing. i remember really, really loving this man, having so much fun, so much amazingly fantastic sex, interesting (frustrating, sometimes that's the best kind) conversation, and some of the most irritating, awful, no-fun-what-so-ever times of my life. sigh.
well, he Does seem different, and i Do have a thing for old lovers and ex's, and he lives close, loves my kid (who is also crazy about him) and is a ton of fun. what the hell, i have a hard time putting the energy into holding a grudge or holding onto bad feelings. it's easy to remember the good times and go from there.
i think i just might.
Sep 22 2006, 01:43 AM
I agree with pepper. Any guy who quotes W.C. Fields is alright with me ~~~good vibes for all crushies~~~Sounds to me like AP needs fifty lashes, but she'd probably just like that
No crushes to speak of. Or rather, none worth speaking of just yet. Need to get to work on that. Of course, that is easier said than done. *le sigh*
Sep 22 2006, 01:50 AM
Hmmm, AP, interesting prospect with Jcrush....may be worth a tumble. It seems so early to let HB go, though....that is a conundrum. Ah, well, day by day....
zoya! Glad to hear you're still out there! Bet HGF had a SEX dream, hotness!
sassy, you just keep shagging away, we'll all still be here!
kal, fie! on girl not being honest about fiance! At least you still have a rockin' month of house parties to look forward to, esp. with ciaocrush! And about the age thing, mostly by this age we ARE the ones doing the picking up, part confidence and part too horny to keep waiting.....
Speaking of horny, will I *ever* grow out of dirty sex in the bar bathroom? OH, let's hope not....(though in my un-needed defense, it was storming Wednesday night. I'd almost shag a boy in a thunderstorm....)
pepper, just keep in mind how he is NOW, and you'll do fine.....(except for the sex, that should only get better, but the REST is past.....)
And to keep this post legit, I still have HUGE Eddie crush (see Celebs Who Should Let Me Do Them).....now THERE'S a boy I would shag, come rain or come shine!
Sep 22 2006, 02:00 AM
Ladies! Ladies! I like being around here.....and I am happy that my contributions are accepted!
Six...THANK YOU for Ciao
Crush I was trying to think of a decent name....and that is IT from now on.
W.C.Fields, the master of an art that has long since passed, and regrettably, seems to have passed for good.
One I still use to this day....
"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach."
This crush thread has moved along very well, page back a little and see how things have advanced....
Sep 22 2006, 02:17 AM
Eddie is the best of both! Yea, Eddie! We're gonna have to work out a schedule, Sixel.
Hung out with he who was formerly known as Tcrush. He has horrible halitosis. I still like hanging out with him, but he needs to floss. That is all.
I'm not lettin' go of the HB just yet. Initially I thought things would burn out & fade away, but I think there is the possibility of something meaningful.
Kal, sug, you can have a dose of my evil anytime.
Yuefie, you know I likes my spankies. Bring it on!
Sassy, how as Petty? "Oh yeah / All right / Take it easy baby / make it last all night (Make it last all night) / She was / An American girl."
Oh, & I forgot to add that Jcrush has basically invited himself to come with me to NYC for Bustiecon 2006. I was like, "Pfffft. My goils would eat the likes of you whole, live, kickin' & screamin'. They're made of strong stuff."
Sep 22 2006, 07:53 AM
wait, so you get laid even MORE when you are around 30? makes turning 25 this feb not seem so bad. i think the key for younger women like myself is that you go for older guys who are in their 30's. a fellow 24 year old cant keep my attention for very long.
i hung out with lavalife boy last night and since he lives downtown nyc and we were meeting midtown he got a HOTEL on the west side hee hee. we went to this cool russian vodka bar place where they infuse their own vodka's with things like strawberries, peaches, pears, horseradish if you are feelin the bloody mary's. YUMMY. i am kinda shocked he didnt need to carry me out of there but whatever. it was fun, even if i still dont know how i feel about him totally. man, it takes alot to get me going, not physically, but to really really like someone. then again, i really like being single most of the time so i think i plan on staying that way. its so nice not to have to call a significant other when you are out to report where you are.
everyone else sounds like they are doing GREEEEEAT. AP is totally penis overloaded as usual and everyone else seems to have some great options i am excited for all the busties!
i just re read more closely and coffee ended up all over my computer after i read AP's "i want to rub my boobies on his blad head". yeah, coffee everywhere
Sep 22 2006, 08:57 AM
..... yeah, and then when you are in your 30's, you go for younger guys who are like 24! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
I WISH I was getting some sexin'! All I get is crushin' and messagin'. But oh well, I'm really busy right now, so it's not the worst thing in the world.
Sep 22 2006, 09:10 AM
oh shut up already. mcsquee came on to ME ok?
what? he's only 10 years younger than i am. at least his drive equals mine. hee.
Sep 22 2006, 09:13 AM
ahhh pepper thats what i HAVE noticed about older guys. they just cant get it up like they used to. i even noticed a difference btw a 24 year old and an 18 year old, so sad that men wither so quickly and then women want it the most around age 35. what a cruel twist of fate.
Sep 22 2006, 09:27 AM
hee hee, the ex is just my age. no problems there, none What-So-Ever. maybe because he acts like a 19yr old? ha ha
pics in say cheese!!
Sep 22 2006, 09:56 AM
yowza doc, my curly locked BUSTie sistah
Sep 22 2006, 12:21 PM
Kal, my favorite WC Fields qoute is "twas a woman that drove me to drink..and I never had the decency to thank her."
So better boy pickings after 30 eh? Hmph. Thats only reason I have to wanna get older!
I was talking to my older, wiser *ahem* 32 year old friend and telling her about how I should be so
excited about Nurse, but I cant help but feel like I have the upperhand with him, and that I usually feel more exicited about boys who have the upperhand, which puts me in a vulnerable position so why should I like that? She says that I'm attracted to the 'danger' and risk of rejection, and it isnt very healthy.
Hmmm. Damn myself!! Its true tho, the more I think a guy has the potential of breaking my heart, the more I want him. My friend says Nurse sounds great and he may be the type of guy where strong feelings can develop, instead of having the *poof* instant chemistry I was hoping for.
So we'll see. I not in a rush right now I guess.
I have a resurrected crush on Zach Braff...last night I had a dream that we sat next to each other on a plane and he ended up falling in love with me. Of course he would given the chance
Sep 22 2006, 04:54 PM
so, this Political Guy i was seeing a few weeks back all but stood me up one Fri night (we were supposed to go to a movie, and i got some shitty text msg* about a meeting running late like an hour later, this as i sat in my apartment already dressed, like some stupid fucking 80's movie cliche). we had fun/clicked up until then, but i figure, nuts to you, pal.
but now, he randomly IM's me, and we make shitty small talk, like we took 1000 steps backward. seriously, i don't know why i'm talking to him now, even for small talk. i mean, i work shitty unpredicatable hours too, i have common courtesy.
*see previous thread rant on the mis-use of texting
anyhoo, selfish drive-by rant is over, will add more later, but happy crushing to all!
Sep 22 2006, 05:36 PM
pepper, that's what I meant. Now that I'm in my 30's, I swear, I can't beat the young ones off with a stick.
...I'm certainly not complaining!
Sep 22 2006, 09:32 PM
oh, i forgot. the deciding factor for me with the ex was that he hasn't had sex with anyone since me. it's been about 6 months and he's a sex addict.
i can't say the same but i sure liked hearing it from him...
Sep 22 2006, 11:36 PM
Okay, we need to work out an Eddie sharing schedule here gals!!
I just got back from Petty. One of the best shows I've seen all year. Stevie Nicks even joined him for a few songs. Jcrush kissed me a few times. I think he's a nice enough bloke, but we just don't have much in common except that we have the same taste in music. So, he will be my concert buddy. I wasn't nearly as HONRY as I was with McCrush. Good lips though. Seems rather bitter about divorce though. Weird thing, he reminded me a little too much of my ex-fiancee (they have the same body shape) though. We said we'd have to do it again. I'm just not sure when. He's a little younger than me, and made it very clear that he didn't want any sort of relationship. Regardless, got a cool guy to go with shows to...
McCrush sent me an email saying that he bought me some wine glasses, three bottles of good merlot, and a suprise.... hmmm... looks like it should be an interesting weekend!
Should have excellent sex hair come Monday morning...
Good crushie vibes to everyone!
GB, I'm probably going to go see Last Kiss tomorrow. Been crushing on Zach since getting the soundtrack....
Sep 23 2006, 02:45 AM
I know I'ma be stoned to death for this, but I fucking *HATE* Stevie Nicks. When I was a kid Bella Donna got stuck in the tapedeck in my mom's car. Listened to that piece of shit for two solid years before she got a new ride. I once unplugged a jukebox from the wall when some crazy biznatch loaded it with a fin's worth of Stevie/Fleetwood Mac. Almost got in a fist fight with her boyfriend over it. True story.
Glad you enjoyed the show, though!
Will probably see Jcrush tomorrow. I have *GOT* to get the boy out of my head...
Sep 23 2006, 02:54 AM
*snort* I won't stone ya AP. But I might wanna hug you real tight for saying it. Ever see the SNL Stevie Nicks Fajita Round-up skit? I'll admit to liking some Fleetwood Mac, but I've always been more about Christine McVie anyway. Stevie solo bugs me like a flea bite.Yay for your good time sassy! So what did he open with? Ah screw it, I will PM ya for the details
Sep 23 2006, 03:25 AM
Funny thing is, I normally HATE Stevie Nicks. But their version of "Stop Dragging My Heart Around" was brillant. I was amazed at how many younguns (like 21 and under) were drunken and at the show. Millions of people singing that song drunk, will something I will never forget. "Free Falling" and "Learning to Fly" were my top favs. I'm rather suprised he didn't do that new song "Deep South" b/c he was in GA!
We missed The Strokes opening up, but no big deal.
Was SNL Skit the same one where Stevie Nicks owns like a taco stand? I vaguely remember one like that.
Yue, he opened up "Listen to your Heart..."
Sep 23 2006, 09:11 AM
Yay! Boy is picking me up in a few hours. I'm going to suprise him by wearing sexy shirt that I bought at Target. http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=b...078-6330263?%5F
The only bugger is that the little clasps broke off in my shitty dryer. I'm going to wear a tan/black pokka dot skirt, and sandals.
Also, bringing over tons of DVDS, CDS, books, as well as Trivia Pursuit and of course dropping by store to get more Nutella and Diet coke.
Bugger. Dress is on my Myspace profile..... http://www.myspace.com/anihall
It's just the shirt part of it that I'm going to wear, but I'm going to have to buy a new one eventually b/c the cute fake clasps broke off...
Sep 23 2006, 12:17 PM
the ex is coming home with me tonight. my neighbour and i are going out to hear some music and he'll be there. tonight, tonight, tonight... i get to see if it's as good as i remember, OMG could i be any more excited?
talked to mcsquee and he has been feeling the same way. i told him that we can't keep on without getting attached and it isn't going to go anywhere, we both agree on that, so we should stop. he's completely on the same page. it's hard 'cause i feel so much sweetness towards him, how to you have such intimacy and closeness and not, well, get Close? i don't know.
anyhow, he knows i saw my ex and that we're planning on hanging out again. i'm sure he has an inkling. i'm glad that i didn't have sex with the ex before i talked to him though, i feel better about the integrity of wrapping something up before starting something else. it's clear and definate instead of "whoops! it just happened."
tonight tonight tonight...
where do i post after this? long-term relationships doesn't quite apply, even though we were together for a year. portions would be a good place but he gives me so much i'd be hogging the thread (heh heh). where?
sassypants, was that you? nice dress chica, have FUN!!
i like stevie, but not so much that i didn't bust a gut at that saturday night live thing.
Sep 23 2006, 02:56 PM
pepper~wow. you are truly inspiration. i'm glad things worked out for you. see where being open and honest can get a person. reason why i hate games. good to hear that when people handle themselves as mature adults...things work out. and i understand what you mean about 2 people being close, but not feeling anything else going on...that is a weird feeling...good luck with the ex...let us know how things are going...keep us posted...maybe you could start a new thread for new relationships or something...
sassygrrl~you looked adorable in the dress! have fun with mccrush! if anything...these other dates will be a good point of comparison with mccrush...i'm so glad alot of good things is happenin' for you.
i like stevie nicks. stand back....gold dust woman....the duet with tom petty is my fav...
i was thinking about the posts awhile ago about getting more male attention as i've gotten older...yeah, not so much sex...it is really just attention...which is nice...i guess the self confidence thing sticks out more as i've gotten older...but, then again, i'm totally clueless when people crush on me...really...
i think i'm in a mood to be the crushee than the crusher...
Sep 23 2006, 08:19 PM
Sep 24 2006, 12:07 AM
raisingirl, love, I would tell her to find the public gatherings of her "private" interests: dance (dance classes), knitting (knit circles/groups), reading (book clubs), old movies (film festivals)....to find single people who will at least share one interest with her, to give her a jumping off point to conversation and interest. Also, anything she has been interested in, but not taken up yet (skydiving, gourmet cooking, WHATEVER) is an excellent starting point for new friendship/relationship.....
pepper, can't wait to hear how ex turned out!!!
sassy: all I can say is fan-fuckin'-tastic! Sexie, sexie dress, LOVING Trivial Pursuit! Smear that boy with Nutella and ask him who won the Kentucky Derby in 1950!
AP, sending you a PM, and loving the Stevie Nicks comment! 'Cause that broad gets too much love for no discernible reason....
zoya, you have tempted me to the "dark" side! Hooked up with younger one the other night (not crush, just a one-off), and I would NEVER have considered anyone younger if you guys hadn't been touting their pluses....may have to reconsider my "my age or older" rules!
((((not a player, just crush-a-lots))))
Sep 24 2006, 12:51 AM
sixelacat~i LOVE your big pun quote! hilarious!
i think i need a lobotomy. probably why my #2 fav song of all time is teenage lobotomy by the ramones. need to stop thinking of mcrush. terrible. really. went out tonight. i had a good time, but no one of interest. plus, the bar was not really my scene. oh well. crushes are terrible. hazardous to one's health. really.
Sep 24 2006, 02:52 PM
going out in this town is so freaking boring. ugh.
coming home, however, is tremendously good fun.
for certain the neighbours hate me 'cause we shagged good and hard for no less than two hours. When was the last time i stayed awake until 4? i don't even know how i did it, but i'm a gonna do it again!!
that man rocks.
sassypants, still MIA? must be having a double handful of fun then.
Sep 24 2006, 07:00 PM
**drags weary ass into room** and puffs on cig....
To quote Sixel: Fan-fucking-tastic is the right term.
McCrush picked me up yesterday about 3, and we went on Best Buy/Kroger run. Bought Ave Q soundtrack. And then went to see that play, "Thing about Men" which was really cute. We then went home, and shagged three more times. Having great sex 4 times in a 24 hour period, is a first for me in a VERY long time....
By the way, he loved the dress. I figured he would. Heh. Also wore new Bpal scent: Red Devil... indeed....and bathed with Lush sex bomb.
The only issue that I can really tell is bothering me is the Xfactor. She called last night, and had gotten into a car accident. She's okay. But, then she called back like 3 times today just to talk about random shit like the dogs and paint.... I know he still cares for her, and shit some of her crap is still in his house. I don't want to pry too much, but I'm going to have to know the full story eventually. I don't mind that he has a past, but does she have to call and bitch constantly?? It felt like she was in the room with me....
He knows about the seizures. I finally just had to tell him this morning. He took the news quite well, which in my mind I thought he would be running for the nearest hills.... It's been such a HUGE issue in the past with my relationship and my jobs.
Is it so cool to be dating someone who likes to make plans? That's so a Grey's Anatomy line, but so true. I feel as though I'm finally dating a grown up. And it's freaking me out.... but in a good way.
Side note: Nutella was goooone by morning!!
He called me an "animal" in bed, but you gals (and Kal) knew that didn't you...
Reminds me of that Ave Q song: "You can Be as loud as the hell you want when you've making love...." Thank Gawd he doesn't live in apartment....
We have plans to see eachother again for Columbus day weekend. I told that he's just going to have to share the sassy love... and he's totally okay with that...
Funniest line of last evening: He's shorter than me. And we got to the theatre, and there was a ledge. He popped up on it, and was all: "I'm taller than you now!!", and then gave me full on Adrian Brody type kiss. It was so adorkable!
I love that I'm dating a geek....
Sep 24 2006, 07:59 PM
oh, you're freaking "adorkable" girl! that was hillarious!
sounds like super good fun. any man who's a man would take the seizure news with grace, it's NOT that big a deal (i mean, i Know it is to you, i can only imagine, but it shouldn't really faze anyone else i don't think. then again, i always volunteer for first aid duty at every job, event, party, whatever so maybe i'm just wacko. i DO have a slew of younger, grody relatives. maybe they've desensitized me...nuthin' much gets to me any more).
i am having irrational insecurity issues. really, incredibly stupidly unlike me garbage too. what the heck, my brain really is broken.
it's not like we're New to eachother, we aren't really moving all that fast or anything. it would be really weird to be weird about saying "i love you" and being all cuddly-barfy-cutesie-pie and shit. we can't really go back in time to where we didn't know eachother all that well, we're getting back together after all... still, i feel so oddlyout of sorts. unbalanced like, guess an adjustment period is in order.
and i miss mcsquee. trying not to focus on that but it's Hard! he is awesome, i do miss his fun and stuff. i talked to him on the phone tonight and it was all friendly and casual and not weird but still. i've thought about his kisses and, ahem, other things about a dozen times in the last few days.
i'll get over it.
raisin, i wish i knew what to tell you but i am just such a dating/getting to know you dork myself. really, i can be a mean flirt but only when i know he's already into me. i am just no help whatsoever.
all i can offer is to say get out there, get out there already!! go and do in your neighbourhood and don't be shy about talking to any and every one in a friendly context. you're sure to meet some interesting people, something will go somewhere...
Sep 24 2006, 08:36 PM
Weirdest thing is he's getting used to my slang.
Yeah, insecurity issues are popping up in my mind as well. I have to keep telling myself that this is so NEW, and I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. I'm just trying not to blurt out anything wrong. I had full on bad nightmares about crazy exs last night.
Yeah, the seizure thing is sort of a non issue with him. I find that really rad. It's been worse enough telling people at work, for it's something I normally discuss. He's worried more about me having depression. I think this was an issue with the X. My brain is fried. Literally.
Off to watch SITC....
Sep 24 2006, 09:14 PM
raisin~just do the things you like to do. i guess. but, i'm a terrible source as well. you may want to visit the frustrated singles thread. it is a good place to visit.
sassygrrl~stay cool. i'm sure he will be open about conversation with ex. don't make assumptions until you find our the answers. remember, he is with YOU. he sounds very into you.
Sep 24 2006, 09:40 PM
Just trying to chill. You are right, he's with ME. If he wants it.
Side note: Sonic Youth boy just emailed me again saying he apologized for what he did. Is it weird that I forgot what he did?
When it rains....
Sep 24 2006, 09:56 PM
I'm gonna de-lurk for a moment here....all you girls seem to be having good luck, maybe some will rub off on me!
I need a little advice/sane rationale. I met and dated my perfect man last spring for a few months. Things were great, he was super-sweet, told a mutual acquaintance of ours that he was crazy about me. The last time I saw him, we went for dinner, went to Canada day fireworks and came back to my apartment to watch a movie. I haven't heard a word from him since. Nothing strange happened....just nothing.
He does have an ex with a lot of baggage, and with whom he shares a lot of baggage....she's got a wacky family background, and they went through an abortion together (that he didn't agree with) recently. They broke up about 2 weeks before I met him. Long story short, I think maybe they got back together.
My dilemma is this: normally, I would be of the opinion 'hey buddy, your loss' EXCEPT that I really do think he is the perfect guy for me. And I think that I am pretty perfect for him too (nothing to do with ego, I just do). We have amazing things in common, we met through a totally weird coincidence, and I have all this intuition about him that I've never experienced before. I haven't tried to contact him since July, but I really, really want to see him again...I mean we've seen each other out driving and he's waved, but......man, I just have this massive thing for him!
Is it appropriate for me to phone him? Or is that just crazy....help me.
Sep 24 2006, 10:36 PM
jkat~i'm in the same dilemma. seriously. it will be interesting to see what others tell you.
weird thing...i hit on this thread to see the new post...and it was AP talkin' about JCrush. the post was dated back in april 2006. funny. and freakin' bizarre at the same time.
Sep 24 2006, 10:56 PM
It stinks, hey stargazer? I mean, I've been battling my brain for 3 months now....I am never like this. I am very interested to see what the other ladies have to offer.
That is strange that you opened this thread to April....I met my crush that month. I am so over sensitive to coincidences with this guy, I need to quit. But it's strange sometimes. I rollerblade every night, same time, same place....but yesterday I got to my usual spot and realized I had forgotten something, so I had to turn around and drive back to my apartment. I had this feeling that there was a reason for my forgetting as I was turning around....and BOOM....3 blocks down, there he was walking alone and looking cute. I don't know if I should've stopped to talk or not....maybe I'm just a big chicken shit. But man, was I shaking! Anyway, listen to me blah blah blah...sorry! Back to normal programming...
Sep 25 2006, 12:04 AM
oh, i hate to be a party pooper and maybe i'm wrong and it's worth calling just in case he lost your number or something but... have you read that book, "he's just not that into you"?
if a guy stops calling or coming around i think he's letting you down gently. i mean, if he was really interested, the door's wide open and he knows it and he's not walking through.
it's happened to me and i've always been baffled by it when there was absolutely nothing wrong, no reason for it to end, i know he was into me for a minute. you just never know what a person's reasons are. i know for me that next to nothing can stand in the way of me making time for someone i really want to get to know or spend time with. if i stop calling or coming around it's because my interest has waned.
Sep 25 2006, 03:35 AM
*sits down on the hard bench provided by BUST furnishings*
Sassy, way.to.go.girl. Thats sounds awesome that you feel you are dating a grown up, sounds like you have had your fair share of immature one's. He's a geek, you like him for it and he responds well to you, sounds almost perfect to me! As for the Xfactor, you need to let him deal with it to start with, before you make any rash decisions, dealing with insecurities like that are not easy, but you should make it clear (if not through words) that you are a little uncomfortable with the scenario (once it has been defined) *clapping hands in a snooker match sort-of-way* Nice one on the portions....4 in 24 hours....imagine each one lasted 2 hours!! If it did, the means you spent 8 hours, or one-third of a day, humping!
pepper, you were up till 4am, burning calories, I bet you never thought you could get so much excercise AND FUN at the same time, I am impressed, and JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS!!!
jkat, .....I would imagine that peppers 'synopsis' is accurate, maybe he is trying to let you down slowly....it sounds like there has been a history of past romance, entertwined with some mental trauma (abortion, along with the moral/ethical decisions that accompany it) So to be fair, I doubt the guy is concentrating on finding the love of his life immediately, it might be a case of him wanting to distance himself from making any more 'deep' decisions if you get my drift. I think enough time has passed that you can call him, and at the least, offer some support in exchange for some info that your heart is demanding from YOU.
I dunno, I would rather KNOW that someone does not want to be with me, rather than live with the hope of good...or expectation of rejection.....my US$0.02
*pulls off Dr Phil Mask*
((((((crush vibes to all))))))
Sep 25 2006, 05:02 PM
We so need a nice cushy sofa and endless jars of Nutella in the lounge....
Kal, loving the Dr. Phil mask quote. And by the way, where is Ciaocrush??
Is she back yet???
Jkat, Stargazer and I are in similar situation. I normally am not a fan of self-help books at all, but that book is very good. Infact, I'm in the process of re-reading it right now. My roommate just gave it back to me last night.
I would call him though. Just my .02
((all good crushy vibes)))
Sep 25 2006, 06:39 PM
well put Kalevra.
jkat~it couldn't hurt to call.
Sep 25 2006, 11:11 PM
nice kal. i think though that people are very prone to softening the blow (ei, Not saying directly that they Aren't into you). it's a bad habit but one we all have. it's the whole bandaid off quick, bandaid off slow scenario. i want the bandaid pulled of nice and quick but if i have to pull someone else's off, well... i don't like the idea of all that hurt. it Seems nicer to hurt a bit less for a bit more time, even though it hurts just as much or more that way.
i think it's worth it to go with your gut. be honest with yourself and don't hold out hope where there is none. certainly call, the response and voice it's delivered in will give the clearest answer to your query. but only if you're willing to really listen.
again, just MHO.
seriously, where should i post this? is he still a crush until we get more serious even though we have history? i'm so confuzzled.
hung out all day, nice. but he was distracted, i could tell. we talked about stuff but it's nothing i can help him with, just his own mental housecleaning.
he made time to give me some HighQuality Love though. oh man, hours later and i'm still humming. mmmhmm!
Sep 26 2006, 02:57 AM
I feel like I've let the Jcrush down a bit. He asked me my opinion about the girl he's been shagging. "You could do a lot better. Seriously. She's cute, but..." I went over for a nightcap & I guess he queried one of the fellows about it before I got there.
Had the big talk with HB. *sigh*
Everybody else. Get ya'lls.
Sep 26 2006, 01:52 PM
Good or bad sigh AP?!
Pepper, keep posting here! A crush doesnt have to be brand new!
I'm crushing on Brit Boy again, even though I cant see him.
Hes given me a constant catalog of material, if you know what I mean
Sep 26 2006, 02:03 PM
hahahahaha spankbank much GB?
Sep 26 2006, 02:33 PM
Hello! I'm new to this forum but I could totally use some advice and it seems folks are kind but frank here.
I'm somewhat involved w/this guy who I went to college about 8 years ago. I went to visit him in Europe while he lived there, just because I had a pal living in Paris. We didn't keep in close touch so it was a bit of a surprise when we started feeling really attracted to one another during my visit. We made a great connection and we were both excited about the prospect of seeing one another when he moved back to the States shortly after I left.
Anyway, he's getting his phd and has been a stressball in general upon his arrival but contacted me as soon as he landed and we made plans to see one another the same weekend. I visited him as he lives in a neighboring city and things went well enough but it didn't feel as natural as it did in Europe. I had some anxiety and expectations that were probably not appropriate for where we were in the relationship as I'm fabulous at obsessing in the beginning of relationships.
So we called things off because he felt additional stress since he'll be looking for a professorship in the winter and I recently got out of a messy relationship. But here's the thing...we both are a bit confused about what exactly happened to us. We were both excited about taking things to the next step but now he's telling me that he doesn't feel enough to embark on something serious at this time. But we're really at the beginning of dating so what should he be feeling exactly? I think this we're giving up too soon and so he's coming to visit me this weekend but NOW talk about not feeling natural!!
I feel like I'm not that tied to the outcome of this but I honestly would like it to go well. So, besides keeping it light-hearted, any suggestions would be great! Thanks!!
Sep 26 2006, 03:00 PM
the first step is to realize that you and no one else can answer "what" hes supposed to be feeling. if hes scared hes scared and theres not much you can do about that. i am glad you are giving it a second shot, but try not to obsess too much and just take things as they come this weekend. hes going through alot right now in terms of transition, so the last thing he most likely wants to do is add "transition into a serious relationship" to his list.
try to take it as it comes, no one likes to be stressed out and forced into something, so try to remember that. right now it seems like you are very concerned with labeling your relationship, which is very difficult to begin with, much less at this point after such tumultuous times for both of you. take it slow, dont be concerned with "the next level" just be concerned about getting to know eachother, and if is works out, so will that whole "next level' thing.
Sep 26 2006, 08:26 PM
Oh! The HB debacle. I usually spend Saturday nights, but last week I did late, late Friday (Usually poker night for him.) instead. Saturday morning, I'm making breakfast in one of his button downs, it's all cozy & domestic & shit. The doorbell rings, so he goes to answer it as I am half naked. I can hear him talking to his neighbor. (I *HATE* this woman. She's a teacher & she's always talking about the cute things kids say/do. "Rusty stuck a crayon up his nose!" I was convinced they dated/had sex...) She's bearing a basket of fresh muffins cos she "made too many". *eyelash bat eyelash bat* Riiiiight. Like I buy that. I gave her a tight thanks & a smile that didn't get anywhere near my eyes & went back to the kitchen. They chatted for a few & then she left on her merry way. He comes into the kitchen & sez, "You don't mind if I dispose of these do you, rabbit? They came from a box mix (SCRATCH! I bake from SCRATCH.) & I don't think they'll go well with breakfast." So he threw them out. Which was a bad thing to do because I was feeling irrational (I got my period the next day. Yea.) I basted the eggs, started the toast, got dressed & bid him adieu. I could tell he was confused, but he let me go because he knows there is no point talking to me when I'm that kind of mad. I go over to see Jcrush. He took one look at me & said, "You are so not into me this morning. Are you gonna tell me what's wrong or should I just get you drunk & weasel it out of you then?" Many Irish coffees later, I felt better & made to leave so I could finish what I started. J wouldn't let me leave just yet & started feeding me beers. Dutch courage. So I go down there, I cry, I flail, I ask him about the neighbor. He admitted that he had dated/had sex with her, but had stopped seeing her about two months or so before we went on our first date. She annoys him, too, but he's too polite for his own good. He thought that the throwing away of the muffins was a good move & didn't mean to freak me out. He walked the basket back over after I stormed off & left it on her porch. He said he wasn't seeing anybody else, he hadn't been, nor did he want to. He likes what we have, but in order for us to move any further he wants me to tell Ex-ex about us. He feels that until Ex-ex knows about us, I can't be a full part of his life because he feels like he's hiding something. He admitted that at first it gave him an illicit thrill to be dating his subordinate's ex-girlfriend (He also thought it was pretty fucked up on his part that he enjoyed that aspect of things, but admitted that hey, he is a guy.), but that he was tired of having to edit himself when somebody at work asked about his weekend or what/who he did last night.
So... long story short if I want to move forward (And disband the harem for good.) I have to own it & own up to ex-ex. Which I am terrified to do. He hasn't really dated much since I broke up with him. I'm not so vain as to think that it's because he's not over me; he's working the program & it advises you to stay single for at least a year after you get sober. I have to figure out how to tell him with a little tact. I can't just say, "Remember that party you had? Afterwards, I jumped your boss in his car & we started dating. We've been seeing each other ever since, but I didn't know how to tell you. Are we cool?"
Sep 26 2006, 09:30 PM
ap, you could start with a simple "i'm seeing someone" and see where it goes from there. that statement alone might be all that he needs to hear or it might open the floodgates for a full confession. i think it will become apparent which way it's gonna go pretty quickly.
scary either way. but do him the favour of trusting him to be responsible enough for himself to deal with the information, don't try to protect him, that's not fair to either one of you.
really though, is it what you want? that's the bigger question...
klee, good luck. that's a tough situation to navigate. be genuine and honour yourself however you decide to deal with it. you have to feel good about how you acted no matter how things end up.
i bought three shirts and a skirt today on the way home. i needed some shopping therapy. that man is stressed to the max and hard to be around right now. good thing he treats me so nice or i'd take a holiday, and we just hooked back up! sigh, life is compicated.
Sep 27 2006, 02:52 AM
Ex-ex *knows* I'm seeing someone. He knew the within two weeks I was seeing somebody. The change in my demeanor clued him in. You can't fuck somebody for a great length of time & not notice a change unless you're in total denial. Or drunk. Or both. He was happy for me. He has also noticed that there has been a change in HB. He's dug around for info, but I haven't given up anything, nor has HB. I just don't know how he's gonna respond. HB is pretty convinced that he's still holding out hope... I think he's moved on, but is just scared of the new.