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Boy is going to be in 2 insanely nervous yet very

And still flirting hard core with my new boss. And new IT crush that has awesome tattooes.. So wanted to shag him in the elevator!

Heh, the harem is growing back up....

Fuck. Boy is stranded by the side of the road on 1-85, and without a tow truck, and my only friend that has a car is having car trouble herself, and is stuck in Cobb County.

I'm just hoping both of them make it home safely.

Oh, did I mention it's supposed to rain tonight?
sexy ex will be in town in two weeks. high school crush will be in town in three weeks. missed a call from mr mcsqueezey tonight. hot young chef flirted mercilessly at the bank today. neighbour man gave me a lift home and a Verrah long hug goodbye. what is going on?
Go Pepper!

Boy should be here in about 30 minutes....I just want to kiss him. smile.gif
Excellent portions this morning... made the guy came until he cried.... heh.
Is he still a virgin?! Or am I getting yer boys confused!?
Yep, still a virgin...but...ah fuck, it's confusing... weird day, will tell more later...
Happy yet royally confused.
Holy shit! He still hasn't stuck it in? WTF? That's crazy. I remember reading an article once by a woman that had done everything but vaginal penetration & it was like, why the hell not? You've taken it up the pooper, in the mouth, there was digital play, but you won't shag proper? Cra-zee!
uh.. yeah I have to agree with AP. I mean, at that point, it just becomes semantics. ...jesus, he should just shag you, already!

In other news, I am frustrated all to hell because yesterday I got the (somewhat) drunk dial from Mr. HMCHH (well I don't know how drunk of a dial it was....I, however, called him back when it was a dial on my end, and a drunk on his. But we did chat for a couple of minutes and he thanked me for the callback and I was like "call me later") and then last night and today I see him on IM a few times.. I say hi the first time I see him, and no response. Now, I'm of the opinon that one 'no response' to my hello and the ball is in your court. Well, I've seen him on a couple of times since and not only has he not said hi, but he's hopped off within about 5-10 minutes of me logging on. WTF? I don't get it. I mean there are times when he is all.. HI!! Call.. IM.. and then the other times he's obviously on line to someone...but won't respond to ME. (I honestly could care f**k all about him talking to whomever, but jeez!!) And besides, it's not like I'm online just to talk to HIM... I have lots of friends on my IM list that I am chatting away to. Feh.

ok, anyway. I'm just venting. A couple of cocktails and this girl is an open book..! Besides, I think I need to just keep reminding myself.. 23. 23. he's 23. uhh.... yeah.

ETA - I got an email yesterday from another guy (yes of course he's much younger than me, yippee!!!) who I was talking to last fall, but things just kinda fizzled for no reason, just kinda floated away. Well it turns out he moved across the country and went back to school, so that was part of the issue...but anyway, it looks like we might cross paths next month. I am hoping we can hang out. This IS the guy who did not kiss me when I gave him every opportunity to (other than saying "goddammit! KISS ME!") so who knows... but he IS a total cutie. Actually kinda borderline cutie and hottie. So I would be amiss if I did not at least check the situation out, right?!!
Shit. I am a total fuckwit. Going out with Jcrush tonight. How do I get myself involved in these situations? I *know* better than to fool around with this guy... I just can't help myself. He's purdy.
well from one girl who likes 'em young and pretty to you, AP.. I can't answer that question... wink.gif !!!
It's my own goddamned fault. I started texting him when I was bored last night & we've been flirting all day. I swore to myself that I'd never socialize with him, but here I am doing laundry & getting cleaned up to go out with him. Idjit. I'm an idjit. But he's got gorgeous skin, big blue eyes, & a killer smile. I was dead five seconds after we met.
So yeah. We had this weird talk yet again where we are still dating other people, but the one rule was no sex with other people. He wanted to do anal last night, but turned me in the shower, and ate me out this morning. I guess oral is better than nothing, but I just wish I could shag him. Hell, I don't want to know where we are in 6 months, I just want to know where we are RIGHT NOW. I'm sorry I'm venting here, but the boy has some serious commitment issues. Part of me is saying RUN AWAY.... He tells me one second that he wants to marry me, and the next that he is not shagging or dating anyone, but wants the right too. I mentioned the no sex rule, b/c I figured if I wasn't getting laid (except oral...), that I don't want another girl too. Just glad I was finally able to make him come. He has no idea how horny I can be. Best you know that I was screaming in the shower this morning....

So, the weird talk lead me on a shopping spree at Target, Barnes and Noble, and Best Buy. Got a bunch of DVDS (Mommie Dearest, Donnie Darko, Robot Chicken, and Golden Girls season 3...) and Tom Petty cd, and Pet Shops boys new one. Also got a slinky shirt that I wore with my slinky dress last night. I almost bought a kitten too. I must wait until I find a new apartment.

I made him take me to a nice restaurant,and we painted the town red.

However, there's a snag here. His parents (his car broke down on the side of the road Friday night) are picking him up today. So I'm forced to meet the family. I'm normally very good with meeting the parentals, but woke up scared as fuck.

Well type more later. Wish me luck. smile.gif
sassy, mr mcsqueezy is doing the whole everything-but-fucking thing with me right now too. i told him that it's condoms or nothing because of safety, of course, but mostly because the next man that knocks me up is gettin' married. i am so NOT doing the single mommy thing again. i mean, i love it Now that he's older but that not being able to even have a minute to pee or shower or eat due to screaming infant and no help? yah, not doing it again.
anyhow, he's scared witless that he'll end up buying me a ring (neither of us are that interested in a relationship with each other) so he's going everywhere but there. wierd. i'd laugh in his face though if he said absolutely no fucking except my ass. uh, hello, that IS fucking. what the hell. can't knock me up but you're still IN my nether region. i just don't get that thinking that anal isn't fucking. i mean, oral is oral but come on.. anal is even more intimate in some strange way.

so, last night. wow. for such an inexperienced man he is TALENTED! and i thought he was going to be so sweet and gentle and shit. damn, he nearly made me Cry. today my kitty says me-OW! damn, i love this.
we had a talk though about maybe just being friends because we're both after a serious connection with someone and don't feel it for one another. i don't know that either of us is ready to give up all the fun we're having though. maybe after a couple (few) more times. maybe not. heh.
Pepper, I feel you on that one.

What a wonderfuck did I get myself into today? I did meet the parents, because they were forced to pick up their son. They met my insanely crazy landlady....

We went out to lunch, and had a very weird trip to IKEA. I now know where SC boy gets all his over-analyzing from: his father. I'm not sure what they think of me. Boy kept telling me, "Listen, why wouldn't they love you? What's not to love?" I know it's a great way to sort of support me. And, he kept repeating "I'm dating you, not my parents. I don't give a shit what they think about you really..." I did get along very well with his mother. They were asking me a million questions about my life, and that was getting really annoying. His father was in a total shitty mood for having to drive two hours to pick up his son, and meet a girl that they had only briefly heard about. Apparantly, he hasn't told them much about me.

Strangely enough, we ran into one of his sister's friends at IKEA. It really pissed me off that he didn't introduce me. AT ALL. Nothing. Not "Hi, this is Sassy, who I am fucking... Hi, this is random girl." I finally had to introduce myself. And his mom gave me a "my son has no social skills" look (which I knew...).

And the fucked up thing about dating other people, is that I know he's not dating anyone else. So, why is this even an issue... "Well, what if I meet someone who I want a relationship with?" "Then we break up." There was about a twenty minute silence, and then he went "okay."

And, the sex thing is getting on my nerves. I mean I love that I am able to give him oral, but at some point, I'm going to want more. I think that's why we had to establish a "no sex with others" rule, because I'm so fucking horny.

Oh, yet he has an obsession with anal sex... Um, that's anal sex. That's, what the fuck? If you want to go up my ass, but not my twat?
I know he's inexperienced (he's getting better at going down on me), but jesus christ!

On a side note, I introduced him to the wonder that is Eddie Izzard. We were repeating lines from "Dress to Kill" and cracking eachother up.

Glad I'm seeing my two work crushes tomorrow: My formerly gay boss and mr. IT boy. smile.gif Also, Starbucks boy and OkCupid boy are supposed to go out drinking with me at some point this week.

thought I'd mention both my crushes are metaphorically dead. One rejected me, one I rejected. Back to square one. Keep the party going in here ladies, it sounds like you're having an awesome time!

Sassy, you seriously have more patience than I do.
AP, I think you just LIKE to be trouble ;p
I get the aim fuckwitting too, zoya. argh!

<3ing you guys!
HB tortured me today. He doesn't like me going out with handsome young men. All eight of them. Too gotdamned bad. Made me go shopping. Drug me all over town, he did.

Things were weird with Jcrush last night. We had fun, but things just got weird. WEIRD! The dynamics have now changed.

Anyway, I wound up going home with Tcrush. Nothing happened, but I still lurve him anyway. He came 'round tonight lookin' all Johnny Cash in his black western shirt with the faux pearl snap buttons. Dreamy.

Sassy, girl, he's nineteen, non? They all want to stick it up your pooper at that age, I'm assuming especially when they don't want to stick it where it *belongs*.

Major creepo hit on me tonight. Yeah, I'll drink your hooch, but it doesn't mean I like you. I'm just an opportunist.

Got felt up three times, my bum molested twice, & humped once. By a *VERY* pretty girl. I don't swing that way, but I'm not gonna complain.
Ap, he's 28! WTF? I just think he has no experience with sex. And basically I'm a whore. Heh. Just still freaked out that I met the family so fucking early. They probably hate that I cuss and have a tattoo.

MMMM.... TCrush sounds lovely.

IT boy has really hot tattooes (we compared them in the elevator at work, and I almost hit the button to make it stop..... to grab his ass....). Work boss is cute in a geeky professor sort of way.

Yep OM, I have patience. But, I don't know how long for. If the boy still can't commit (fucking Libras....) in a while. I think he feels threatens by the other crushes. (We had a talk about me possibility moving to Portland. He doesn't know that I have some crushes out there as well), and I told him this, and he got all freaky. But then mentioned the fact that he couldn't find a job, when I know an engineer can find a job any fucking where.

So fucking don't want to go to work today.

Ladies, have fun. smile.gif
Three of my crushes has left the running: OkCupid boy, IT boy at work, and Boss man..... sad.gif

I need more crushes.
28? WTF! indeed! Has he given you a reason for not fucking you properly? Sorry but thats messed up.
It better not be for "God" because I dont see how anyone's God can be against vag sex but anal-- yeah, knock yourself out. This boy has successfully reinforced my stereotype of South Carolina. No offense sassy, hope it works out your way in the end!
No, it's not about God. Because, I'm sure even God liked anal. And, yes as if I already didn't hate the south (and I live there!), I really hate SC. His dad is a total dick by the way. I forgot to erase the voicemail he left on my cell phone this morning that started: "We need to figure out where the hell our son is...."
Christians my ass. And he was screaming at me in the car. So hope he never becomes my father in law.

He keeps saying that he wants to get to know me better, but yet he'll go down on me....

And I miss my boss flirting with me. sad.gif
Wow, I've never heard of that before! Maybe its one of those things where when you hold out for something for so long, it becomes like a habit you cant break. I'm like that with bananas: I've never eaten a banana in my life,.. its just one of those foods I resisted as a kid and I just never matured out of it. I'm not allergic to em or anything, and I know its a health food, but for the life of me i just cant do it! Its like I've gone this long, I might as well never do it. Weird huh? Although sex is argueably a bit more important than potassium...

So Old Crush called two days ago and asked if I wanted to hang out on my next night off.
I said maybe Monday, give a call. So thats tonight, and he didnt call, so I decide to just go rent a film.
Anyway,..I get to the video store, and I ran into Old Crush there!..and he was with a girl!!! I cannot stop laughing! I looked like shit and felt like such a loser! And here I thought he was into me. Its a relief actually, now I can really just focus on Brit Boy. This time next week we'll be shagging like bunnies!!!
Why is it murphy's law that you must run into old crushes when one looks like shit? I swear I thought I ran into an old college ex on the train yesterday on the way home from work. It wasn't him, but it looked like him. Yet, when I look decent, I ran into no one!

Still don't know about the sex thing. Maybe it's a fear of getting me preggers?

So, he's coming down today with his company to drop off some material, and going to pick up the car. It was something wrong with the timing belt. I'm going to try to get lunch with him. I think it depends on how rushed we both are.

That's funny GB. Good that you can focus just on Brit Boy. smile.gif

Starbucks guy (who now no longer works at Starbucks) and I are still flirting. He now works at a different coffee house. But, it was good to hear from him again.

Got into a huge fight with my friend b/c he kept telling me that telling boy about my crushes would make him run away, and he thought that he wanted to run away with me to Portland (No, he still lives with parents. Yes, I'm dating Failure to Launch guy...), and all. So, then I flipped out b/c I thought my friend was taking his side. It ended it in a really big fight, b/c I'm stilll flipped out by meeting the parents (his father actually screamed at me. (we got lost, which happens in Atlanta)... nice for meeting me for the first time. ASSHOLE. His mother seemed quite nice, and was definately the peacekeeper. Anywats, it was just a weird way to meet the family. But, I don't know. I mean we could break up in a month, and I'll never meet these people again.....

I'm still laughing about my old crush run-in! The look on his face was priceless, like, "oh shit, I didnt call you, um hey"...the girl he was with looked confused. When they walked off I think I even said, "have fun!" omg I'm a doofus!

Brit Boy is only five days away! He sent me the sappiest email today, and I'm a fuckin puddle!
He says that his once very torrid thoughts of me have turned tender, and now all he wants to do is
hold me. He also jokes that I just like him cuz hes British, while I can be sure that he really likes ME
cuz he hates Americans!

I really think I might marry this boy. I have visions of just eloping you know? Fuck the wedding
thing, I just wanna have a romantic-as-all-ass-hell run to the alter kinda thing. Gah!
He is amazing.

GB, so happy for you! That rocks!

SC boy was down here today to pick up car, but we couldn't hook up b/c work was both hectic on both ends. He left me the sappiest voicemail about how he missed me, and he apologized for his dad being a total dickhead. And that I could marry eddie izzard.... smile.gif

I'm trying to not think to much about it. I'm going to think of him as a boy that I see every once and a while.... He freaked the fuck out at the thought of me moving to Portland (then no boy can compete with a city as cool as Portland), and got a little jeolous. And then brought up that he'd have to find a job. Whatev. I know he hates his current job, and it would be the best opportunity. I still think he has some major issues to work through though(mama's boy, committment, sex).

I'm just happy he makes me giggle, and he kisses me so nicely. But, if I can't deflower him by the next time he's down here, it's going to be so over. I need to get laid, and not just fingering.....

Why is it that everbody romanticizes Portland? Yeah, it's pretty, but 80% of the people that I know have moved to Portland & have wound up hating the decision. I'm not trying to bag on you, Sassy, or anything, but Portland is really no great shakes. When I went to visit an ex, I ran into, like, forty people that I hated that moved. It's like a city with training wheels. I prefer someplace wholly new that offers a challenge.

So, I admitted that the dynamics had changed between myself & Jcrush. Now I see that they've only changed a little for me, but a lot for him. I hadn't seen him since we went out & I went home w/Tcrush. Tonight he was disappointed that I hadn't said goodbye to him on Saturday, nor had I texted him within the last three days. It was weird. He assured me that he'd be in touch. I'm kinda afraid of that.
Maybe I'm just over-romanticizing it. I still think it kicks the hell out of Atlanta, GA. It would be a challenge.
I'm just so fucking sick of the south.

SC boy was being sweeter than usual. He told me he looked into buying a Verizon (that's my plan) cell phone, and started searching for apartments. Believe when I see it though.

Also texted back MySpace (Sonic Youth boy) crush today, which was nice at work. I was having such a crap day, and it was good to get some silly messages.

QUOTE(auralpoison @ Aug 9 2006, 06:49 AM) *

Why is it that everbody romanticizes Portland? Yeah, it's pretty, but 80% of the people that I know have moved to Portland & have wound up hating the decision. I'm not trying to bag on you, Sassy, or anything, but Portland is really no great shakes. When I went to visit an ex, I ran into, like, forty people that I hated that moved. It's like a city with training wheels. I prefer someplace wholly new that offers a challenge.

So, I admitted that the dynamics had changed between myself & Jcrush. Now I see that they've only changed a little for me, but a lot for him. I hadn't seen him since we went out & I went home w/Tcrush. Tonight he was disappointed that I hadn't said goodbye to him on Saturday, nor had I texted him within the last three days. It was weird. He assured me that he'd be in touch. I'm kinda afraid of that.

I got a purse! A FANCY, EXPENSIVE purse. HB. The man has figured out my currency. Bastarding hell.
Which brand AP? Love fancy purses!

In an unrelated note, so happy that Josh Blue won Last Comic Standing. smile.gif
Brand. Spanking. New. Coach. Suede. XL. Hobo. To the tune of almost $450. When he tried on what felt like four thousand pairs of shoes on Sunday, I got bored & decided to peep the handbags. He was paying attention whilst torturing me. Of course, there was an ulterior motive. I am now positively locked in to go to the wedding with no open bar.
Um, I live in Portland and I love it here. But that's just me.

A local magazine recently published some statistics about the number of single men aged 25-40 vs the number of single women in that age group. Shockingly, there are substatially more single men. The mag followed the stats with "Percentage of single men in portland with the stones to ask a woman for a date: 0," and "percentage of single women who are pissed off about it: 100."

I've been asked out by men in that age group, but there do seem to be an inordinate number of indie/emo sorta half-hipster types who are cute as hell but terrified of girls. Like, they avert their eyes and head for the door if you smile at them and later tell your friends that they're in love with you.

Because of our differing work schedules, I had several days' break from workcrush. Saw him last night, and he was doing much better, had managed to sober up for a few days. Some kind of tide has turned though; after seeing him so messed up and being so worried about him, I know it isn't gonna work for me. We had some very nice portions, but it's not making my heart flutter like it was a few weeks ago.

Newcrush wants to have a lunch date, as he has work and family obligations almost every weekend for the next month ( out of town wedding, a conference, parental visit, etc. Here I am complaining about workcrush's drinking problem, but I think lunchtime is an awfully sober time of day to hang out with a new date. And it's too bright at that hour. I'm afraid.

Had dinner Monday night w/Plan B, and he is very irritating. He is the king of mixed messages, and something about that strikes me as rather passive-aggressive. Don't know why I'm bothering.

But I won't have much time to bother with any crushes soon...I might have a very interesting and good but very time consuming job...interviewed today and have a 2nd interview on Friday. If I get it, my social life is gonna take a backseat for at least 6 months.
Mr. HMCHH has dropped off the face of the earth.. no IM, no call, no email, he hasn't even been on myspace in like 5 days. bleh. He needs to get his fine ass back in contact with me, dammit. Shit, I'd at least like to be friends dammit. no need to flake out.

and I am sooo tired. I've been burning the candle at both ends lately. ugh.

Edna-- let go of Plan B,..if he aint wowing you it aint worth it. Lunch with Newcrush might be nice, but I admit that daytime first dates can be scary. Good luck!

Zoya--at least he has not been on myspace! If he had been and didnt contact you, thatd be worse, huh?

The Portland talk is funny. I almost moved there with my last SO but we broke up, and he moved alone. Actually, turns out hes now shacked up with a girl he met when his band was on tour there...and that was when he was still with me! Hmm, shady...but I must agree with the Portland boy stereotype, I've met a few like that,..the whole shy hipster thing.

So anyway, I'm FREAKING OUT! !!
At first it was because I woke up with cluster of zits on my chin, so I aint gonna be flawless
for when Brit Boy arrives.
Then I turn on my computer and HOLY SHIT! London is on RED alert. Crap. Now I'm scared his flight
is gonna be affected. Its not til sunday but shit, red alert can last awhile. *sigh.*
Fuckin terrorist evildurs.
I saw many of the shy hipster types in Portland. But, there seemed to be a lot more available men in Portland, than there are in GA. That's not one of the main reasons I want to move there though. But, it doesn't hurt.

Lard ass boy was briefly back in my life. But, he sent me an text today saying he just wanted to fuck me. And, he seems too attached to his french fries....

However, Sonic Youth boy and I spent most of the day texting.

I also had to call SC boy at work about his car. He was sweet.

Yeah, I'm worried about the London thing too! I'm going there in less than 5 months. Funny, because Britian has been on my mind a lot lately. I think that's where I want to spent my thirty birthday. Just me, my best friend, and my family.

Also have cluster of zits on chin. Not good when flirting with new boss. By the way, my work review went extremely well. Pats self on back. smile.gif

Happy Crushing everyone!

ok guys -

I need good bustie vibes, because I am in europe.

and flying home end of next week.

and so are all the people I'm here on a work project with.

most are flying through heathrow.

they're going to make us check all of our computers, phones, everything, and I'm really nervous about that. Besides being super nervous about the flight, EVERYTHING is on this computer and I even have to check in the backup.

Mr. HMCHH IMed yesterday. His DSL has been down. so I guess that's good

saw exboy. he's great - but i'm so not down for relationship at the moment. I'm just too bruised and battered. But we have known each other for 10 years so it's really comfortable and we just have that easy connection. Someday I think I will just end up running away with him again, though.

who knows. I'm just tired and stressed right now.

ETA - I do not have cluster of zits on chin, but instead cluster of several long black hairs that seem to have appeared overnight. YUCK! tweezed those suckers out immediately!
Zoya, hopefully the circus will be over by next week. If yer worried about the computer, maybe you can ship the backup seperatly? Would be pretty crazy if both get lost.
Hey, I knew Mr. H would come back! DSL has a habit of mucking things up!

Whoa sassy, we got the same zits? Weird. Mine are looking better today tho. Just hope I dont get anymore,..I wanna look bee-YOOT-iful for Brit Boy.

So, hopefully less that 3 days til I see him. *sigh*
He said he almost had to quit his job for me (!) because his boss insisted that she hadnt signed off on letting him go on holiday and she needed him for a project. Luckly he had saved an email where she HAD signed off on his dates requested. He says to me, "See how much you mean to me? I would have resigned if she told me to cancel my holiday. I'm coming to see you and no job or Red Alert is gonna stop me!"
*swoon swoon swoon*
I actually think I can back it up to a friend's computer at home - using it as a server through apple talk. So hopefully that will work out

Good busty vibes for zoya. I agree with GB, maybe you can ship back the computer seperate?

So stoked to be going out with Sonic Youth boy tomorrow. We plan to drink beer and watch crappy movies.

I called SC boy today at work to tell him about cell phone plans. He was all, "thank you for thinking about me...." ????

Still have cluster of zits on chin, but that didn't stop work boss from flirting with me. I did have my kick ass David Bowie shirt on though. Heh.

In really kick ass work news, I found out that I can get certification in some IT courses, and that the company will pay me some fat bonuses. And, I have some Americorps money to do that with. Plus, I really want to get back into the IT field.

GB, double swoon. Does Brit Boy have any hot friends??? smile.gif
Heh, yeah in fact BB does have hot friends, and thats how I met him in the first place: we were at a club and my travel partner was checking out his cute friend and decided we should talk to them. It was loud and so it was one of those things where you can only have one on one conversations, she was talking to the cute guy and I kinda felt like I got stuck with the ugly one! But after a while looking in his eyes and listening to his voice, I was suddenly a goner.
Its so funny that my friend and cute guy never hit it off, and I fell in love with the reject! Ha!
Funny how things happen. My friend says I have to name our first child after her cuz she claims to be the cupid that forced us into meeting.

Oh, and apparently now the cute guy is dating some Aussie soap opera actress! weird.
ah zoya, my hairchin sister. as soon as i pluck, i break out with spots that won't clear up until there is something else there to pluck. after electrolysis and everything. whiskers are So damn sexy, are they not? ugh.
~~~good airflight and computer vibes~~~

ok, mr mcsqueezey and i are off. we had a talk about how we both want to be in love but not with each other. so, after one last (awsome) night, we're back to being just friends for the past couple of days. it's fine.
ex-fiance ldr thingy will be here for a couple of days next week, apparently staying with me. but that last (awsome) night left me with a yeast infection (yargh!) so i'm probably safe from doing anything really stupid with him. much as i'd like to, i seem to recall the sex being excellent..
highschool crush will be here sometime this month, no idea when or if it will be a minute, an hour, an overnight (heh, ever hopeful) but i don't care. laying eyes on his supreme gorgeousness is almost enough in itself.
and cute chef boy, well, i can't figure him out. is he flirting with me? is he Not flirting with me? he's one of those mercurial types. it would be maddening if i cared a little more.

all these crushes and potential heartstring pullers and i still just feel kinda meh about it all. i want to date someone. and i Definitely want a maude-damn $450 purse! i'd even go to a no-open-bar wedding for something like that. you lucky dog you.

~~~clear skin vibes~~~ to the breakin' out sisters.
QUOTE(sassygrrl @ Aug 12 2006, 02:33 AM) *


Sorry bout that. Take two.

FUCK ME. I was IMing SC Boy tonight about how greart work was going (which is weird for such a new job) and generally in very good spirits. Then, the bottom fell out.
IM Conversation:

Are you coming up on the 25th?
Probably not.
I need some space.
This isn't working.

He then rings me up to explain that apparantly I have different needs (SEX) and that I want a commited relationship. All I said is that fact that we should keep it open. And, that during his last trip (a la the hell that was last weekend) he didn't feel much of anything for me, physical or otherwise. "Maybe I'm just numb." "No, maybe you're a FUCKING LOONY...."

Not to mention that apparantly he had been lurking in BUST reading my posts about him. So uncool. And so fucking wrong. He agreed with me, and apparantly the lounge is saying that he does need to make choices.

I'm so glad that I didn't send out this letter that I wrote him at work today. The only reason I couldn't is that I couldn't find a stamp, so it's still siting at my desk.

I told him that he would be a virgin into he was 50, and is still living with his parents. And, that he's DAMN LUCKY that I even looked his fucking way. He kept saying that he liked having a relationship that had distance....and that he didn't see us in the physical way.... hmm, what about those blow jobs?

I'm sorry, but the hell was the last two months? All the sappy emails and love letters, and the 4 trips? Was this some extended version of foreplay??

I'm hurt, I'm sad, and most of all angry. I'm angry that I let him in, and I'm angry that he would cause me to cry.

So going to fuck Sonic Youth boy's brains out tomorrow night. And, so wanting to take a fucking sledgehammer to his cd he burned me. Maybe I will.

Ah well. Two good things: At least all the fucking games are over with, and I will never have to see his fucked up family again.

Good fucking riddance.

Sorry for the rant busties. I love you all.

ooh sassy, yuck. so sorry girl. the lurking and reading of posts is nasty and the rest, well. good riddance like you said. he was a mess.
Holy flurking schnit! I got outed as a Bustie a couple months back to some guys I barely knew. On one hand I did feel a tiny bit violated, but on the other I'm the one that put it out there. How did SC find out? I've have half a mind to take that boy over my knee. Twenty-eight isn't to old for a good old fashioned whuppin'.

Sorry Sassy! The guy was a wash from the word go. Best to cut your losses & move on down the road. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Men are like crosstown buses, you miss one give it ten minutes & another will be along.

Don't fuck up the CD, though. You'll regret it. Just stick it someplace out of sight out of mind. Listen to it in six months & laugh your face off.

Off to HB's. Seeing Jcrush tomorrow. Considering hauling him to a party as my date. It's the only way I'll have any fun.

I think when he was down here last weekend, he saw me posting. I mean the computer is in the same room as my bed. Whatever. A little violated, but in a way I was going to break up with the bastard next time he came down (not just about the sex, but the whole not making up his fucking mind bullshit) anyways. I'm going to keep the cd, and hide it for a while. I plan to send his tapes back though at some point. And he has my first season of Carnivale, and a couple of Eddie Izzard tapes. So, you know I want those back.

Yep. Already have date with Sonic Youth boy tomorrow. I sort of had a weird feeling something was up this week. Chalk it up to the full moon.

Still so angry.

You gals (and my rl gal pals) were right. He is and was a wash, and I can do SO MUCH better!

He will become the true life 40 year old virgin who still lives at home. Ha!
sassy, I'm sorry you had to go through all that bs w/sc. Some boys just aren't worth it. We sit there thinking of their good qualities whilst they cultivate their little hang-ups and phobias. Or pathologies.

SC sounds like the younger version of my Plan B. Plan B is good looking, seems like a nice guy, but he has screwed up notions (IMO) about women and relationships. He's so used to women chasing him and wanting a commitment that his mind is boggled when I say I don't want that kind of thing right now. He smugly told me he was dating several women, but he gets pouty faced and asks, "are you still going out with that guy?" because he'd asked if I was seeing anyone else, and I am. "I'm 'dating' too," sez I. He wants to make out/mess around but not do it. I just don't get it.

~~~~~~vibes~~~~~for Zoya and her computer~~~~~~~~~~

AP, HB is way too into you. I would definitely go to a wedding or even a dry family reunion for a really nice handbag. Plus the people-watching ops.

AP-- you are seriously good at this. I wish I lived nearer to you; I'd love to watch you take these men down.

vibes to zoya, hope she's safe!

Sassy, I'm so sorry. I think people breaking into your privacy like that is so wrong. Ugh.

In any case, I'm back cos The Ginger has suddenly reappeared. I saw he was on myspace, so on aim (my buddylist is messed up right now) I put up an away message saying very naughtily, "getting wet. Possibly even wild." Because I was about to take a shower, was all. Well, he either took the bait or something clicked, because he imed me. We then had a very pleasant, fairly brief but not too brief conversation. It was like he'd never started ignoring me. Which was what he had been doing very assiduously since the whole house of cards fell. I'm just not sure what to make of him. I suppose he's just being friendly, so I shouldn't be so weirded out about it. He just has, from the very first, struck me as someone I couldn't trust---not in the way most people would take that, but I mean, tempermentally. I mean, I can trust his character to a fault. But his temperment, no.
dude, I want a handbag!

I want anything!

I never get presents!

.. of course, if I could just get my head around HGF, I could probably get some good loot - him being in the dough and all - but shit, I just can't do it.

ETA: damn, that sounds so superficial... but if I'm not in serious mode right now (and I'm not) then might as well reap the benefits of adoration.

When did I get like this? I don't care!! It's better than getting the heart pulled out and trounced on.
Yeah, I just think the boy had no FUCKing clue about me and the fact that I'm a flirt, or how to deal with a real woman or relationships. I mean, I'm not going to apologize for wanting to kiss him or fuck him. Hell, he should have been thanking his lucky stars I was even with his punk ass.

"Well, I have no friends..." Um, what the hell am I supposed to say to that? Get some, you anti-social freak.

The final blow, he gives me this line of bullshit asking if we can go back to being friends. Um, NO! Weird that he was so hung up on sex, but didn't mind me sucking his cock.

And him lurking on Bust really pisses me off. I mean that is so wrong. And he knows it was. I wouldn't have done that to him. I deleted him from my cell, IM, email, etc. He doesn't exist.


Just still angry. Going out with Sonic Youth boy tonight, and we plan to get trashed. If he fucks me, I certainly won't say no. Heh.

And, I'm with zoya, I so want a handbag. AP, so jeolous!

Wow sassy. Sorry that all went down. But, yeah, you dont need all that drama.
Good luck with sonic youth boy!

I wish I could say how many hours til Brit Boy gets here, but alas, London airports are still
a mess. *sigh* I just realllllly hope he doesnt have to stay a night in Houston, that would suck.
A few hours delayed I can handle, but a whole night? Ugg. The anticipation is killing me.
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