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anna k
This is kind of dorky for me to write, but I felt personally happy.

When I go to dance class at the gym, I had noticed a guy around who also does kickboxing at the same place, and I had always wanted to say hello, finding him cute, but never did, feeling like I shouldn't say hi. Friday night he came in, and I was the only other person in the room, so I just got up and said hi, and introduced myself. We talked about the kickboxing class, where I had said I had liked it but had trouble with the combinations, and he smiled and said, "Yeah, the sparring is even harder." He came off as very shy and quiet, which was in contrast with his fighting style. I'm more naturally introverted and will keep quiet reading instead of talking to new people, so I felt happy to break out of my shell for a minute just to smile and open up.

epinephrine, I know what you mean about great kissing. Where it's so good that you just don't think about it, it feels natural and comfortable and intense. He sounds like a very charismatic guy, but take it easy with him, in case he can still be wishy-washy. Let us know how it goes.
Anna, the guy is a dancer and a kickboxer? And he's shy and reserved? Hot.

Yeah, I know my friend's got some flaky ways, so I'm not going to pursue him. And I don't have any romantic interest in him at all - I just always wanted to fuck him. It's kind of a unique situation, because we've been best friends since I was 15. We've known each other so long and been through so much together I know if it happened it probably wouldn't even change anything. I just see an opportunity for an opportunity now, and I gotta say, I find it kind of exciting. Now that I know he's bi even when he's sober, things are different. I turned down the opportunity before because he was fucked up and it felt wrong, but if it comes again, I might not.

I've got an appointment at the gyno this week to get my check-up, and I think I'm going to go back on the pill. Might as well.
anna k
He's not a dancer, just does kickboxing. The boxing ring is right outside of the dance studio in the gym, so he may come in and practice while I'm waiting for the dance instructor to arrive. He seemed pretty quiet and kind of awkward. I don't have a big crush, just thought he was cute.

I wish you a lot of luck with your friend, it sounds really exciting!
The sweetest guy ever: Daniel. He is waiting until marriage and I told him about my suicide attempts. He told me that he would listen to me anytime I needed it. I knew he didn't like me, but it felt like he was leading me on. Not on purpose, but he was. I can't stand having crushes. They piss me off. They make me feel weak and a little on the nauseous side. I could do without them. Seriously. . . fuck men. They're either assholes or way too sweet and will never like me. I might cry.
"They're either assholes or way too sweet and will never like me. I might cry."
I feel exactly - EXACTLY- the same way right now. sad.gif
Well, I'm feeling a lot better about my love life or lack thereof. And I hope everyone else is too. ((((Busties))))

That said, I've got a question for y'all:

There is a mental health support group that I go to and I met a really hot guy there. He gave off major gay vibes so I just thought to myself, "huh, too bad, whatever." We were talking later and really hit it off and he mentioned that it is really hard to begin relationships because he can't make a move on a woman unless he knows her quite well. I was completely shocked because I had totally assumed he was gay. We ended up exchanging contact info and I asked a friend who was there what she thought, and she thought he gave off major gay vibes as well. So WTF? Any chance he's straight? Should I even go there? What are your thoughts?

I am addicted to this forum. huh.gif
odyssey - I was convinced that a friend of a friend of mine was gay - so much so that I would sit around gabbing with him about movies, girlie drinks, show him jewelry I'd just bought (in a girlie kind of way) etc.. I think that I even half jokingly said to him once that my love life had gotten so bad that my friends were now trying to set me up with their friends, and we laughed..

.... then a short time later, in passing in conversation, he mentioned how he'd been married when he was really young, and then something about his last girlfriend. I wanted a hole to open in the ground and to just fall right into it. He was not only not gay, but WAY hetero. whoops.

so, yeah, just cause a guy gives off major gay vibes, doesn't always mean he's gay.
thanks zoya smile.gif
I swear there was an article on Jezebel or something about this last week. Dame meets a fella, they hit it off, they meet for what she thinks is a friendly beverage with a new gay friend & instead it's a date.

My gaydar is almost 100% foolproof, but about six months ago a guy slipped right under it. He was handsome, well dressed, well groomed & well spoken. We were gabbing like old girlfriends in no time. At one point he said something or other & I almost pulled a face I was so surprised to find that he was indeed a practicing heterosexual. Turned out he was just a fellow Sagittarius! wink.gif

I felt ashamed of myself for being a muttonheaded breeder & subscribing to ridiculous psycho-sexual profiling.
Thanks AP! I'm pretty excited to see how this all plays out.

I guess I might be a bit oversensitive to the gay thing because my ex-fiance dumped me right before Christmas cause he was gay. I don't know if he really was (he changed his mind again 2 weeks later) but the damage was done and I'm already a bit paranoid about ANY guy I date potentially being gay. The wonderful world of love. rolleyes.gif
It sounds like he mentioned asking out women deliberately - you're probably not the first person to get the wrong impression! I think you should take his word for it.

The three or four campest men I know are all flamboyantly straight.
Awesome. I've got some things to deal with before I'm going to want to date, but this dude is sweet and I definitely have a crush on him . . .
This weekend i made out with a guy. He's the brother of a friend of mine. I went to this party and somehow we started talking. I was in a conversation with a friend of mine and he kept butting in. So i said 'Oi, what's your problem? You got something to say? Say it!" This guy is very 'street', so funny. He has this huge tattoo. At some point we went outside to try out the little kids' slide in the backyard. And then we started kissing.

He's living with his mom right now, because of relationship problems. Yeah. I know. I kept asking about it when he wanted to kiss me.

I'm not going to contact him. We texted a bit yesterday, but he needs to figure out what he wants to do, relationship-wise.

And we're deliciously incompatible.
Sweet guy who works at a daycare! There's just something about a man who's not only good with kids but deliberately chooses to be around them...the evolutionary psychologists would be all over that, but really it's true.
Hear hear Lily Anne. I dated (wel, if you can call it dating. We had a good time, but it was mainly for sex) a guy and he's a dad. I thought it was hot, you know, banging a dad (not solely for that purpose, mind you! He's attractive and the way he talked about his kids..i respected that very much. I don't even want kids myself) I can't believe i'm typing this, but what the hey.
FYI, i also bedded a guy who has a kid, but it turned out to be a mistake. He was very nice and thoughtful, but i hated everything he did. There's a Seinfeld episode ( i think it's The Suit) where Elaine says the very same thing i felt when i was with this guy.

Soo.. Lily Anne, are you going to ask him out?
Ah, yes, FILFs (Fathers I'd like to Fuck). I commented to crazyoldcatlady on a vacay that I found hot men who were involved and caring fathers really attractive.

Ditto on what futura said, Lily Anne, are you able to chat with daycare dude?
Stargazer - "Daycare dude"! That is going to be his name now, ha.
Futura - the thing is, he's not a dad and I've never seen him interact with the three-year-olds in his classroom!

The story about daycare dude: I just started a job teaching at a daycare/preschool. <--the politically correct term these days is "child care center." We are coworkers but are in different rooms and don't see each other. We're both in our twenties, and with a few exceptions the other people at work are 40-60. It's a building full of women, children, and one man. I'm simply fascinated.

I do a lot of listening because I'm learning the ropes and new. Daycare dude apparently did something heroic recently, and all the other teachers were talking about him in a mother-hen fashion. They think he is wonderful and worry about him when he is not around. It's old-fashioned of me to notice, but he wears a ring that indicates one of three things, that

(1) he's taken,
(2) he was once married but isn't over it, or
(3) he never married, and it's there as a deterrent.

I don't actually believe (3), but I put it up there because I use (3) in some situations. Example: working as a waitress. Society seems to think waitresses are around solely as objects of flirtation. Nice restaurant, too, no Hooters or anything. From the way people talk, it seems (2) is what's going on. Hm.
FILF! ofcourse! wink.gif

I kept thinking about the guy i posted about. I said i wasn't going to contact him, because the last time i hooked up with someone it was a mistake. I made a bad call and i didn't want to do that again. Sometimes you meet someone, you make out, have fun and that's that. It's about the dynamics; there's a party, there are friends, and there's a good vibe. Sometimes that's all gone by the second time i see someone.

But i couldn't get it out of my head and by the end of the week i sent him a text to ask him what his plans were for the weekend. He came over last night and we had a very good time, talking (about taxes, even. Cod, you know when you're on a certain subject for no obvious reason and you just blabber on, while you want to shake yourself to stop).

He stayed the night and there was sex. Lots of sex (see portions thread). It's been 3 1/2 months. I think we kept the neighbours up quite some time. And he's fit! If i didn't know better i'd think i hooked up with a gangbanger, with the tattoos an all.

His gf is definitely his ex now. Not that i'm looking for a relationship, but it's good to know. Quite some incompatibility, still. My BFF is reeling, she's like 'i can't believe you hook up with him!' He's not the type i would go for, normally.

I feel like 'yay for me!'
anna k
I'm hoping to go out soon with a guy I've been exchanging emails with this guy from OKCupid. He's very multifaceted, that he works in finance, is into museums, like video games and sci-fi, and liked my film blog writing, and said that he feels he has to Google stuff that I talk about after reading my emails, in an interested way. We're planning to meet this Saturday at a museum, and I'm just looking to see if the online chemistry will match to real-life. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I do want to meet just so not to prolong this.

futura, it sounded like you had a really awesome night! Yay for good portions! And I like that he's a cool and chill guy, from the sound of your conversation.

Lily Anne, he sounds like a cutie. Guys who are great with kids are so sweet. Not saying you wanna procreate with him, but that kind of tenderness is nice.

I still think the kickboxer guy is cute, but I don't talk to him. I said hi a couple of times in passing and smiled, and got a little smile and hi back, but nothing else. So I just assume he's indifferent to me, and I don't talk to him, it's not worth it. I still take the class though, because it's great for focus and concentration and self-defense.
Man, I just realized I don't even have a real crush on anyone right now. I've gotta get out more.
Anna, I hope your date goes well! I think going to a museum is such a wonderful idea that I shall steal it. This way two people can be doing something together, not have to sit the whole time, and not have to make too much eye contact or smile all the time. I like that.
Anna, have you been on the date yet??

I was supposed to have a date tonight, but said guy chickened out. I got a text message saying he'd like to wath a movie with me (initial plan) but without the 'intimacy' we had last time.

I'm still waiting for a response, cos i sent him a text back asking for a reason, and that he can call me, i'm at home.

It doesn't really matter, because i suspect what's the deal; he's back with his ex.

I'm glad i wasn't horny to the max to begin with. I don't really feel like him coming over here and watching a movie with him knowing there's not even a chance of a kiss or something. I have learned to let these things pass and not bother with staying friends.

In a way i'm a bit bummed, because he was really nice. But i know we're quite incompatible, so it wasn't going anywhere besides fucking. And he didn't go down on me the last time (which was just as well, since he had a 'fever-lip'-damn you sucky translating machines!-), and that's not a good sign. But i might be wrong, because i never had anyone not go down on me, it could be a personal preference ofcourse.

Ok, on to the next!
anna k
futura, the date was meh. The museum was a lot of fun to see, but the online chemistry did not match up in real life. I found him boring and dull, and did not have any kind of attraction, and the date lasted for 2 1/2 hours (we went out for pizza afterwards). I felt disappointed, since it seemed like we had a lot in common, and I felt like I fell into my same pattern of dating inoffensive "safe" kind of guys who were not challenging or interesting to me.

Ugh, dating. You win some, you lose some.

Last week I had fun in the kickboxing class, and got to interact with the guy a bit. We were partnered up for one thing and he showed me how to do some moves correctly and was encouraging, and gave me a little fist bump when we finished. Little, but it felt nice to play around for that moment.
Aw, that sucks Anna.

My only date planned online ws with a laidback guy, but he was too nerdy for me (he finally lit up when talking about ER and Flying Doctors trivia. Which i found amusing nonetheless AND Stefan Sagmeister is his hero. You always earn brownie points for that with me), but the physical attraction wasn't there. It was a bit awkward i must admit.

Playing around is always good!

Well, he called yesterday, and since he's been so nice to me i was like, hell, come on over, we'll see. So, an hour past the time he'd be here i got a text saying he ws still with a friend of his in another town, public transportation was rough, would it be ok if he still came over (seriously, this guy calls me things like 'honey' and 'sugarpie')? I was like, sure, i'll be up for a couple more hours. I had made it my evening, with drawing, and making good headway with something i had to do anyway. Plus i had a good phone conversation with my bff and she gave me some tough love and good insight into my issues with guys.

Oh, he didn't show up btw. I texted him i was going to sleep. That was it.
anna k
Today I got to interview a documentary filmmaker about her work for an interview for a film website. I really enjoyed talking to her, she was very fascinating and intriguing and just cool.

Before I could speak to her, she was being interviewed by someone else (press day for her movie), so I sat in the waiting room with her producer and an intern at the PR company I'm in contact with. I enjoyed talking to them both, about movies mostly and other stuff, and thought the intern was pretty cute and nice to talk to, and looked in close age to me. I did the interview, and afterwards, decided to give him my card, since I enjoyed talking to him. He had gotten busy with something, so I passed it on to the producer, just saying that I enjoyed talking to him. Kinda bold, and I probably won't hear back, but I wanted to take a little advantage of talking to a cute guy about common interests in movies.

It's OK on the date, futura. I just wasn't feeling it, and wouldn't go out with him again.

Yep, playing around is very good! It made me feel very light and happy, and nice to have some interaction.

Ugh, I'm sorry he was so flaky and annoying, futura. I hate it when people are like that, dragging out something and being wishy-washy. I'm happy your friend was able to give you some good tough love.
Good move Anna!
*cues what she hears her best male friend singing in this situation*
Workin' it! Wor-kin..IT!

My online dating experience is almost nil. I was on a socializing/dating site for a while, but most of the people were born in the 60's and while i have no problem with that, i find myself stepping back when it comes to dating someone from, say, 1967. It doesn't help that these people are mostly a bunch of hippies.

Maybe i'll try it on another site. We'll see.

For now, a change of social scenery would be good. I need to hang out more in that metropole that's 15 mins away.

Tattooed guy texted yesterday to apologize. He felt bad for having stood me up. He left his cell at his friend's house when he left that night.
While i appreciate that he apologized i did not feel like making nice. So i texted back, not angry but more like 'well yes, i thought it was weird not hearing from you.'

That will be it. He's prolly making up with is ex. That'll involve some drama and that's why he doesn't answer my question. He doesn't want to be direct, so he can come back when the reconciliation with ex fails. I've learned that's what happens fairly regularly. It's what people do. My 2 cents to myself anyway.

So i'll be skipping along then.

I have this McJob. Receptionist work. A kinda co-worker of mine (dunno how to call him, outsourcing and all) is always very chatty with me. Last week he touched my shoulder before he left, saying he'd go find his colleagues, that it was way too cozy where i was. We always talk when he's in, he gets me coffee.
There's no way something can develop here, but today again i got the distinct sense he likes me.

He's shorter than i am, ex-marine. His job requires he has to wear a suit. Y'know, tailor made. Looking good.
anna k
I went out on a date a few weeks ago, with a guy I met from OKCupid, but I haven't felt like seeing the guy again. It was pleasant and nice, but I just don't have any interest, and don't know if we'll see each other again. We chat online sometimes, but hardly have anything to say. I'm just over going out with guys who are nice and "safe," but do nothing for me attraction-wise.

But besides that, I've felt comfortable lately approaching guys who I found attractive, had good conversations with, but it just stayed at that, because I'm not a natural flirt, I'm more reserved and laid-back. What I was happy about was that when I did talk to these guys, they were cool and receptive to me, and it made me feel like I was moving past my dating rut. And that they weren't "out of my league," or that I was just as interesting/attractive as they were, and could talk to them with ease.

I never heard back from the intern guy, but I don't care. I just liked the conversation and found him cute, and liked the encounter for what it was.

futura, how is it going with the co-worker? He sounds like a sweet cutie.
I was just flicking through and wanted to say a big woo to anna for giving that guy your card:) As a fellow 'inept dork' I'm very proud lol

There's a guy i kind of like at the moment and he likes me too and wants to get into a relationship with me (yay so far..) but (uhoh..) i think that my first big heartbreak and the aftermath of it (stalking harassment etc, not on my part lol) has left me really guarded and reluctant to commit to anybody in that way. It's like I'm subconsciously stopping myself from getting too emotionally attached, which isn't any fun and I'm sure he'll get fed up of it eventually. I have no idea how to stop it though, perhaps I'm destined for a life of crushing and nothing more huh.gif
QUOTE(starship @ Mar 21 2010, 11:57 AM) *
It's like I'm subconsciously stopping myself from getting too emotionally attached, which isn't any fun and I'm sure he'll get fed up of it eventually.

starship, have you mentioned to this guy your concerns about entering a new relationship?
QUOTE(stargazer @ Mar 21 2010, 06:17 PM) *
starship, have you mentioned to this guy your concerns about entering a new relationship?

When we first met i talked to him (as friends) about my last relationship and how it'd left me wanting to be on my own for a while and once he told me he liked me i told him about my concerns. So I think he has a pretty good idea. but at the same time he probably doesn't fully understand everything
anna k
Tonight I went out to this local indie film meetup. And it went well! I met some guys in a local band who are going to be doing a show in the area next weekend, I'm gonna check it out. And I had nice conversations with people. We saw a short film about a guy who loved The Big Lebowski, but whose wife hated it, and a documentary about diehard fans of Elvis Presley. Both were fun and interesting to watch.

I felt tired midway through the Elvis doc, so I left, and one of the band guys was outside smoking. He called out to me, "Didn't like the movie?" He was nice and we chatted about the local film scene, and he let me know that a short film festival just played in the area in January (I wanted to kick myself for not knowing that!) and that it may play again later in the year. I felt a little shy chatting, but also felt this mix of excitement and attraction, enjoying talking to a reasonably cute guy about movies. And happy that he called me over to chat, since I'm used to just being on my own.

So next week I'll go check out his band, just to have fun and be social and slightly flirty with anyone I find cute. I also found his bandmate cute and chatted him up a little. It just felt like a breather from the OKCupid nerd dates where nothing is going on.
Sigh.... I just found out today via Facebook that this guy I have been crushing on hard for about 9 months has actually started dating a female friend of his. We've only talked online so far but I recently moved to the same city as him (unrelated, it had been planned for a long time before I "met" him) and we are probably going to run into each other for the first time at this gig on Friday night. He'd only talked to me about her a little bit but they were obviously really close friends and now are officially dating. FFS, romantic disappointment is the fucking story of my life and I am getting so sick of it. I don't think I'll go to the gig now. I think it's just going to be too hard to see them together looking all happy. When's it going to be my turn? sad.gif
QUOTE(thepointybird @ Apr 7 2010, 10:28 AM) *
FFS, romantic disappointment is the fucking story of my life and I am getting so sick of it. I don't think I'll go to the gig now. I think it's just going to be too hard to see them together looking all happy. When's it going to be my turn? sad.gif

welcome to my world.... that's been my mantra for too fucking long. I try to stay optimistic, but when it just happens over and over, it's really fucking challenging to, sometimes.
It is so hard to be optimistic. Some people seem to find the whole thing so easy, but I hardly ever even meet anyone - I just moved to a new city, I don't know many people yet and I'm really struggling to find work, so even if I wanted to get out & about, I can't afford it. Not that it would matter anyway, seems the boys I like are taken, or they're not into me. This was the first real crush I've had in years, it's such a disappointment to not even now have the chance to get to know him and see if there's anything really there. It's just the icing on the cake of what has been a particularly underwhelming "new city" experience.
my thing is, all the guys I know or meet tell me how amazing I am, how awesome, how I am so cool, have my shit together, etc... and yet, they're never into me "that way." (and sometimes I suspect are scared to go there even if they were) I am the perpetual best friend. The best friend who gets told how hot, awesome, etc they are - and then also gets told 'you'll meet some guy' or 'why don't you have a boyfriend?' When the fucking guys saying it would do just fine, thank you - but since I'm the perpetual friend, nope. I don't want to put negativity out there, but it happens over and over and over and I'm emotionally exhausted.
I feel ya, zoya and pointybird. I've been crushing really hard on this guy for a few months. He acts like he's really into me but has explicitly stated that he is not. We're really good friends now but that's all it's ever going to be. I get so disappointed.
((((Zoya))))) Hear hear.



*Reviving the thread*

About the guy i wrote about in my last post (co-worker); definitely an awkward moment between us this past week. I know he has two kids, so i have no idea what the domestic situation is there. But he made an attempt to find out if i was single or not. I dicked around, pretending not to understand what he meant (i hadn't seen him for a while and when he walked in he seemed glad to see me, asking if it was Ms or Mrs Futura, you know, greeting me with a mock excessive courtesy).
Anyway, at some point we just *looked* at eachother, smiling. Jeez, this is at work, on a high profile location. It quite hot in there all of a sudden. He said 'see you soon' in this manner which made me wonder.
It's such a bad idea to get involved with him, though. I don't think i'll go there. And maybe he's married and just heavily flirting, i dunno, some guys are just crazy.

I have a date in a week or so. I met a guy at a bar. I was with a friend out on the town, and we ended up in this bar literally reeking of desperation. I had a good time watching all the people snog and trying to score. I didn't see anyone remotely interesting. Until i looked over my shoulder. I turned back my head in a split second, thinking it was one of those good looking guys being all arrogant, so i didn't want to let him knmow he peaked my interest. At some point we stood close enought for him to engage in a conversation with me. He dicked around, trying to pass himself off as American, but my knowledge of the English-American language is too extensive to fool me. He eventually caved. He pretended he was a businessman selling showerheads. So that became the gag of the night. He called me yesterday, at first asking if i needed any showerheads, cos you know, he has this stock he can't seem to sell. I was a nice parrallel for asking me out. Which he literally did btw. So we can talk about something else than showerheads, because he acknowledged that it was getting tired.

I'm going for a drink with him quite early in the evening in about a week.
Reviving the crushness...

There's a cute man working in one of the shops near my office that I pop into about once a week, and every time I see him he makes shy, lingering eye-contact.

If I was single I would definitely ask him out!
OMG. I have the CRUSH. THAT. WON'T. DIE! Seriously. I am plotzing at the sheer ferocity with which my feelings have returned after all this time. Fifteen years might as well have been fifteen seconds. The rhythm is exactly the same, the only difference is that the flirting is more grown up.
Nice. Details please!
That sounds intriguing! Yes, details please!

The date with the guy i posted about below was ok. We had sex and that was...weird. He's just...weird. He was considerate, we had good converstaion and as soon as we started the sex thing it was all out of the window (insert Kramer-like hand gesture).
I went to Barcelona for three days and i met such a hot guy, but being there only two nights was too little time.

Then there was three weeks ago, i wrote about that in the 'send a letter' thread, which made me realise how gigantic assholes some guys i've hooked up with really are. I did some cleaning among my FB friends in that respect and boy does that feel good!

I got a text from the weid guy again. After two months he wants to get together again. Methinks he hasn't had something in a while and that's the reason i hear from him. And that doesn't matter. But i let him know that i'm not interested in a second hookup.

Situation with the guy from work is still ongoing. In six weeks my contract will end. If there's going to be any move, he has to make it. I'm not gaga enough to throw my cards on the table. If something happens, it happens. If not, not.
AP why has it been several weeks since that post and NO further explanations or details have been brought forth? Come on!!!! We're waiting!
My crush boy is doing my loaf in. He's hot then he's cold. He's yes then he's no. He's making me quote Katy Perry, dammit. However, he's a 6' 1" slice of brown-eyed, snake-hipped, heavily-tattooed heaven, so you can see my dilemma. He does come with the added bonus of living 300 miles away so it's not like I have to deal with him all the time, however I will be seeing him the first week of August and if I don't get at least get a horizontal tango for my trouble there's gonna be a tantrum.
Hahahaha! Pointybird that is awesome! smile.gif I hope it all goes well! I'm about to post in the mooving on- but the guy I've been seeing is the same way- hot then cold, in then out, yada yada. I think I'm giving it up. Because as much as I'm crushing, I need someone who is more in this than he's been. Acts like he wants me around more than just sometimes, holds my hand and generally is sweet on me. He is... when we're getting on our own horizontal mambo... and thats about it. Blehs.
I may not post there. I'm crushing. And he's kind crushing me. Jerk pants.
I don't understand why guys want to hold your hand one moment and act all uninterested the next.

I met an interesting guy. I saw him again last night at a party. We talked all night. And then he just took off, just 'bye' and that was it. Dammit, he brought up Aristotle and all other kinds of smartypants stuff.

It's probably my hormones.
Cute, cute boy in my Linguistics class who flirted with me on the LAST DAY!!! Jeez, boy. Couldn't you have worked up the nerve a little sooner? I wasn't about to just throw myself at you after one conversation, but...damn, I hope we cross paths again next semester.
Ok, I'm a little worried. I spoke to Le Crush last night for almost 3 hours. I'm starting to know where I stand with him a little better, he says he likes me a lot and can't wait to see me in August. He was so sweet and lovely last night and I can feel myself really starting to fall for him. It's pretty scary, he's so far away, he's ten years younger than me and I whilst I know he likes me and is interested, I don't know if he's interested in a fling or a relationship or what. It's been a really long time since I met someone that I had a mutual attraction with, and he also totally gets me, but I'm just so unsure..... I can't even think about him without grinning like a maniac, I woke up this morning to a really sweet text from him and my tummy just flipped. Arrrrggh! Ah well, keeps life interesting I suppose.
Well, my crush on R is back, and last week the ever-present sexual tension between us boiled over and we hooked up. It was so funny, I think we were both subconsciously planning on it. In the day or two before we hooked up, he'd shaved and I'd waxed. I think we both knew it was going to have to happen eventually, and I'm moving to China in less than a week, so that kind of pushed us into action.

Anyway, I hung out with him again last night, just as friends like usual, and it was fine! We didn't talk about our encounter at all, but I don't think that's anything to worry about. I'd like to be sure that he's ok with it, but his behaviour was reassuring enough that I'm not too concerned. In any case, even if it did get awkward, the large, life-changing events of the coming week are more than enough to eclipse it, and by the time we see each other again I'm sure any awkwardness would all be forgotten.

God, he's just too cute though. I was trying to play it cool when we were hanging out last night, not give the impression that our friendship had changed, but really all I wanted to do was grab him and make out with him and grope his heavily tattooed little body. I'm gonna miss him.
Woooo epi! That sounds nice in evey possible way.
yay! epi, that sounds like the perfect outcome! although i'm wondering why you didn't just grab him and have more fun. like you said, you're leaving soon....

{le sigh} ran into a summer crush on the bus today. i think she's pretty awesome, but i think she can take or leave me. i feel like such a geek/dork lately. i hate it. tomorrow i go to the zoo with another crush, c. who is a lot of fun. we kissed last time we hung out, but it didn't seem like she was into it. meh. it seems like love just ain't in the cards for me right now....oh, and kitty is back in contact. just when i think i'm over her, i hear her voice and i'm convinced she really is the love of my life. sheesh.
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