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I'm too fucking busy to even give a shit.

however I do have a wee crush for the guy that works as my assistant now and then. Total cutie pie. and young. and works part time night job as door guy at grungy cool rock bar. and lifts weights so he's meaty but not gross buff. and he's a bad ass guitarist. except he has a girlfriend and is so massively nice that I could never go there. I actually don't want the headache anyway. I just think he's cute.

that's about all I have to report.

jazzman is pulling nader in the campaign. he's an independent. i'm enjoying my time with him. he does the occasional sweet thing. something is still lacking. but, tis ok for now.

i'm being more flirtatious with loverboy. too bad he's interested in the religious life. damn. i'm enjoying the vibe we hold together tho.

AP, hey dude, 20% off liquor? that's love, yo, kansas style. wink.gif
hey all.

COCL, yay!!

zoya, I'm kind of getting that way meself.

AP, heh. Ahhh.

Stargazer, sit back and enjoy, right?

Me? Nothing to report 'cept I am fending off some wallpaper.
...well I got really drunk out the other night with a bunch of friends and ended up dragging this guy who was a friend of a friend home and making out with him. I probably would have had sex with him except that I wasn't groomed down there (so funny, I don't give a crap about being on my period and sex, but if I'm not groomed I whinge) I thought we might hook up the next day (he'd asked me to lunch) but it didn't happen. ah well, I don't want the headache anyway.

the only thing that sucked was that after he left, out of left field I totally lost it, crying uncontrollably for about half an hour about SB. WTF is wrong with me?
don't be so hard on yourself over the crying jag, zoya. for one, you were drunk, and that amplifies every emotion.
(((((zoya)))))) email me. i've been busy. but, we should chat soon.
You can always shout me a holla on the phone if ya gotta or you can email if you like, Zoya.

I keep meaning to set up Skype, now I guess I have a good reason to do so.
Aw Zoya. Don't feel badly. Despite the loveliest of careers, friends, and popcorn, sometimes one really wants someone equal, a lover and a friend--
That thought haunts me, and it's what makes all of us I think cry quietly to ourselves sometimes.
QUOTE(opheliathemuse @ Mar 8 2008, 08:50 PM) *
Aw Zoya. Don't feel badly. Despite the loveliest of careers, friends, and popcorn, sometimes one really wants someone equal, a lover and a friend--
That thought haunts me, and it's what makes all of us I think cry quietly to ourselves sometimes.

well put, ophelia. how eloquent and true.
Thanks for the words of wisdom, ophelia & COCL. smile.gif It makes me laugh every time I say "Snack food doesn't bite!" to myself.


If I'm not rocking the sheets, I hope COCL still is.

Mouse, did you and flip-flops ever hang out??

I've decided to step back from the youngin a bit. I found out last week that he has pursued another girl we work with in the past and got rejected, and I guess I just want to see if I can find out if he still has feelings for her before I start getting involved in some strange love triangle at freakin' work. Still though, I may just have to ask him out so we have a time to talk about it openly...
no! he never called again. and i just got my phone stolen by some little fuckers last night and ended up (finally--after three years) changing my number to a local one so there's no way he will ever be able to get in touch with me again. ah, well. it's for the best i suppose.

in other news, greenbeany met wcrush last night! i am curious to hear her thoughts on him, if she has any, though i really am not making any attempts to pursue anything there. it is what it is and it has, again, plateaued.

bring on the fresh meat!
((zoya)) Nothing wrong with you! I still sometimes cry for former romances that didnt work in my favor. Its tough, but its normal.

Mouse, he's nice! For some reason I pictured him to be more serious and standoffish. I think you and him could be a good couple, and I didnt sense that he would oppose being with you. He obviously respects you and likes hanging out with you. How late did he stay last night? How'd he say goodbye?

I need fresh meat too. I'm just dying to meet someone I can laugh with. The guy I was dating for the last couple months was fun at first, but the I realized I was having fun making him laugh, but he wasnt doing the same for me. Plus he got his car booted last week, which is a big turn-off.
Today at the animal shelter I voluteer at (where all of the other voluteers are women, surprise suprise) one of the other single women brought up this controversial article: (and here an angry response to it:
So then I felt like, "uh-oh", should I have given this guy a chance? Is it too much to ask for a partner to be hilarious and pay parking tickets on time? I cant say I lurve being single but it does *feel* better right now, than the awkward last few hang-outs with the dude. Ugg. i need a new crush pronto.
gb, he stayed until the very end and he gave me a hug goodnight (but he hugged friendgirl too). it was super late and we were hanging out on the porch and his little sidekick and ride was leaving and he was like "are you wrapping it up? cos he's my ride but if you're hanging out longer i can get a cab". and he wore that suit because i asked him to (though i had expected something much more garish when he told me about it). and he did so much research on trying to find an actual embodiment of an inside joke...oh, lord, i can't go back into pining mode. this is the most ridiculous and drawn-out crush i have ever had. FRESH MEAT FRESH MEAT. AAGH.

here's to fresh, substantial crushes! bring em on!

and i didn't read those articles, but i have to say i don't think anyone should ever settle. i definitely think being single is better than being with someone sub-par. it should be about the individual, not Having A Boyfriend. if he doesn't make you laugh, and you wanna be made laugh...move on.
(((zoya))) I think we all have crying jags when we feel lonely.

My friend C visited during my reading week and I miss him so much. We love each other but we could never be together. He's 21 years older than me, lives in California and I don't know if he would ever want to be tied down to one person (although he doesn't act like it). I cried when he left and then I kept crying after he left. I miss his hugs and his kisses and how loving and attentive he was to me.

Luckily there is a new guy on the horizon. I've talked to him online and he really makes me laugh. He's smart and witty and we're meeting up tomorrow. He has warned me that he is a bit shy in person but he has been really cute when we talk so hopefully we will be able to break the ice and keep getting to know each other better.
oh, jebus, i'm entering a new smitten period. it waxes and wanes but it is always there, and right now it is waxing. he has a present for me, he informed me today. apparently he looked for something he wanted to give me yesterday but could not find it, so i am getting the "runner up". i have no idea what it could possibly be and was not even expecting a present from him.

he also got pissed off when friendgirl told him we ended up staying up a few hours after he left. "if i'd known that i wouldn't have gone home with those assholes!"

oh when will this end

candy, good luck with this new guy!
mouse, whyyyyyy won't you just ask him out?
i'm going to have to agree with CCgirl, mouse. whyyy not just do it! like a band-aid! rip it off fast!!

and ccgirl, good luck with the new dude too. have fun, let us know how it goes-
argh sigh.......because because because....because i really care about not messing this up. because i feel it may be slowly heading in the right direction and i don't want to ruin it by jumping the gun. because our friendship has been progressing. because i would much rather him ask. because i would rather it happen organically, with a makeout instead of an ask-out. because there is a lot at stake. because i don't know how he feels about me. mostly because i don't feel the time is right.

i've asked out guys before, even guys i thought had interest in me, and it's never gone well. i don't want him to be one of those guys. i don't know how waiting around is going to make that different, but i like the direction this is going and, like i said, i don't want to choke it by getting ahead of myself. something will happen eventually, i promise. if either of us leaves the company it's on, no second guesses. but my job is important to me and the scales have not tipped far enough with proof of him liking me for me to believe making some sort of statement will not result in the ruination of the atmosphere where i spend the majority of my day.

something will happen though. eventually the time will be right and i will do it. but it isn't yet. and i'm ok with it being this drawn out. i'm a weird girl. i can deal.

anyway, my birthday present from him was the most awesome mix of ridiculousness and hilarity and i am all giddy that he thought of getting me a gift at all. and we seem to be talking more at work than before, and i seem to be making him laugh, which also seems novel.

COCL--whats the haps with your man???????????
I feel that you are going in the right direction mouse.
Motherfucker! I had a whole post and Bust ate it! What the hell is an IPS error anyway?

Anyway, I wrote that I wanted to take a vote in here. When you ladies meet someone that you think you could date do you expect to feel that spark or do you expect things to slowly develop into stronger feelings?
CCG - I usually feel that spark pretty quickly. I mean, I'm not necessarily love at first sight, but I do have an interest in them like "oh wow, they're cool" right away.. and it typically takes me hanging out with them like 2 or 3 times for me to decide if there is interest in dating them as opposed to just whatever. then again, for me, that is kinda taking it slow.... I typically don't even get involved with people as more than friends if I'm not interested in the possibility of dating them. (a fact that has bitten me in the ass more than once with the opposite sex....)
total drive-by...

ccg- i vote spark. sumpin, anything's gotta be there. if it's dead waters, then it's going to be a loooong night. and not in the portions way.

mouse- i'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down, but i gotta say, from your posts it already sounds like he's already put some solid proof that he's into you. but hey, i'm just a lil' voice on the interwebs. you know yourself and the interactions, and i understand the whole "not wanting to choke it." you go at your pace.

i'm like super cluster-eff busy & stressed, so i haven't played with the boy in 2 weeks, just phone/text. but yeah, when he asks me things like, "what's your favorite word"? i mean, any soul-less bastard would scoff at that (so i'm surprised i haven't), but when he said it, i like dear lord, can we just lay in bed and spoon and read the dictionary together?

i get to see him this fri :::giggles into pillow:::
Yeah, I just didn't feel it. I hate this. He is cute and he made me laugh but I didn't feel anything. sad.gif I am starting to feel hopeless.
cc, i think if you don't feel it, you don't feel it. it's sad, but true. someone can be awesome on paper but if you're not swoony, i'm not sure if you'll ever be swoony. sad.gif
yeah, I posted like a couple years ago about Hot Guy Friend (HGF) who on paper was perfect - way younger than me, stunningly handsome, intelligent (in post grad school), into great music, art, and independently wealthy - and way into me. I TRIED..... but no chemistry in that area, at all. I think it just has to be there or not. aside to that - Funny thing is, two years down the road, we're still friends and for some reason now when I see him, I am more attracted to him...but now he has a girlfriend. Ah well, I don't feel bad about it at all. It just was not there in any kind of way for me.
Yeah, now I just have to figure out how to tell him that. Oh my god, how do I do this? He's so nice I don't want to hurt him.
..... well you could do what I did, and just blow him off... actually, not being serious... as someone who's been at the receiving end of guys just dropping off the face or the earth, I'm not proud that I did that. The one saving grace for me in that situation was that I was traveling a lot for work at the time, and REALLY busy - so I was able to explain away the just not getting in touch..but I did (and still do) feel bad. I do feel lucky that our friendship remains.. but like I said, I was in a workable position to drop off with a good excuse.

God I sound like an asshole. yuk.

ETA - oops, I got on a tangent and forgot to answer the question.... I agree with COCL. I think that just telling him the truth in a nice way is the best thing. I know that I would rather someone just be straightforward with me, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear - than dragging things on, or just blowing me off
sounds totally lame, but just be straightforward. "i liked hanging out with you but surriously, they ain't nothin' there, sugah." besides. if there wasn't anything from your end, then i'm sure it's not gonna come as a surprise to him. this also doesn't preclude you from hanging out with him in the future for funsies. btw, what was the gist of the post that got deleted?

acute stress ovah! i am now free to go to work tomorrow and try to restrain myself from wishing it were friday night...

I slipped on the keyboard, no regrets for what I was writing really.

Anyway, I'm seeing this guy. I don't know quite what we're doing.
I'm beginning to think we're dating, but maybe I'm mistaken. On my part, it started out
as just having coffee and taking walks and having a really good time together, but I think
I may be developing more feelings for him than that. What his plans are, I'm not certain.
He asked me if we could "become friends" when I met him at a club about a month and a half ago,
and I happily obliged, since he seems like a really nice & interesting person.
I forgot to give him my number, so he called a mutual friend the day after to get it, and called me
three days after or so. We began meeting up about once a week, talking for 3 hours every time,
and he started texting me or calling me every other or third day. He also raved about how amazing I am
to mutual friend, and that he's so happy he's getting to know me.

I began maybe thinking he's into me when he texted me at 4am when I had the flu to tell me to
"get! well! soon! hugs K", or when he called me from his parents' house.
Also, when I was going to visit my parents (I'm there now), I told him I was going away for a few days
but if he felt like it we could meet while I'm working and hang out for a bit after I'm done (no pressure if
he didn't want to). He had to take the commuter train at 8pm on a work night to see me at my job, and
knew it wouldn't be super fun, but he did it anyway. Job was a lot more boring than I had thought it would be,
I felt quite bad and bought him a drink afterwards at a place that turned out to be sucky. But he was nice and
cool about it, said it was alright, I had said "no pressure" and he felt no pressure.

Except for keeping in touch a lot and hugging when we meet and part, I'm getting no particularly clear vibes.
I know he's confused and hurt after a breakup from a crazy girl (really crazy) in December-January, so maybe that's it.
I get mixed messages from him in terms of the things he says to me - sometimes he comes across as very
intimate, and sometimes I feel like he's keeping his distance or just being overly general in what he's saying.
Like he's taking the edge out of a lot of things that could be perceived as flirty. But maybe he's just insecure.
I have no bloody idea, really.

So. Now I'm at my parents' place, and he's texting me about 4 times a day and said I can call if I feel like it.
I haven't, just seemed like a bit too much to me. I'm texting him back, but that's it. We're going to see each other
on Sunday, and I hope things will be a bit clearer to me then.

End of rant, sorry..

coela, it sounds like this guy is pretty into you. it's rare for a het boy and girl to be such intimate one-on-one friends without there being some sort of attraction there, especially right out of the gate like that. he might be playing it cool after being hurt, but it sounds like he really does like you so it may be up to you to push things forwards. good luck!

cc, i agree--just be straightforward. it's early enough on that it won't be a big deal. everyone wants honesty rather than being strung along to no gain. just be like, hey, i think you're great, but i have to be honest, i'm not feeling it. i'm sorry it didn't work out.

as for me...eeeuhhhh. so, uh. if i were, hypothetically, to make my intentions known to w, what would you beautiful ladies recommend as a plan of action? i don't want to say "i have a crush on you", nor do i want to ask him out on an official date. i would rather less emphasis on anything *serious*, and more sort of natural happenstance. i'm thinking more along the lines of a drunken "i've decided that we should make out" or even just planting one on him--though this can be verry awkward if it doesn't go well. what is the least dangerous face-saving way to tell a guy you want him?

also deeply contemplating making friendgirl suss out his impressions of me--though godknows if he'd even tell her, i certainly wouldn't tell his lil sidekick if he asked me.

last night he was getting all friendly (or so i thought) with some random girl friend-of-a-coworker and i was drunk and got rather vocally indignant about it to everyone else. that should be interesting on monday to see whether people picked up on that...later on he had ditched her and was sitting next to me and she came over, far drunker than all of us, and proceeded to say something about how he had me now, and kept going on about him sitting next to me. we just made faces at each other. that was all. oh and we argued about politics. i am such an idiot compared to him, but he is definitely more into the conspiracy theories than i had realized. and he knows things about art that i should know and i just look like a dumbass when he tries to talk about things, he always expects me to know things and then seems to get disappointed when i don't. i want to make out with his brain so hard.
mouse- i'm thinking, get him alone, slip off to a side room somehow with him if you're in a group:

"listen, you're a cool dude. i like you. i like hanging out with you...."

then, "choose your own adventure"-style:

Plan A: "... so let's get out of here."
Plan B: "... so i think you should meet up with me next weekend at [some cool hipster emo local event/show]"
Plan C: "... so i want to make out with your brain so hard."
Plan D: "... [awkward silence, passionate groping]."

i do have to vote against getting drunk and making a move then, or just going into a kiss completely on the fly. ans screw friend girl. you don't need her to feel him out; i personally think it's obvious he's into you

so then he'll either be all:

1. Hells yeah, let's rock out
2. You are super awesome but i gotta tell you i'm as gay as the day is long
3. I'm a douche bag, and don't realized the potential mindblowing spooning we could have every Sunday morning, so let me go back out to the party and slink around with bitchy girls and be totally emasculated

all three responses can be countered with a double-handed hair-metal satan salute, and a simple but confirmatory "Righteous, man."

coela- i watched some mid rate movie where the best line was "the next best thing to kissing on a first date is almost kissing." dude is into you. the tension has got to be there after so many times hanging out platonically. let us know how sunday goes.

my fri was amazing. it was a celebratory thing, and crush came over, we had some drinks, he gave me an amazing book...defer to portions thread... in the AM, i went to the store to by breakfast stuff, and came back and he cooked all of it whilst i watched and threw raisins at his crack peeking out from his scrub bottoms. i had a prior engagement on saturday, so the fun did have to be postponed for the next weekend. . he had told BGF that he really like me, but was in that boat, that sort of fatalistic viewpoint that i unfortch subscribe to. he told her that "i really really like her, but when two people are into each other like that i can't help but think someone's going to get hurt." i'm going to assume that he's worried i'm gonna fall off the face of the earth? i hope it's not foreshadowing. but hey. i am having fun, and now that's all i'm in for, because i'm not going to sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop.
mouse -

I agree with COCL, for when you guys are somewhere out in a group, like if you're at the bar and it's getting late into the evening... get him alone....I wouldn't even say "I like you, and like hanging out with you" I'd just go straight for the "hey wanna get out of here?" you could just leave it at that and when you get out of there, inevitably the next question is "where are we going" or you could just say something like "hey wanna get out of here and get something to eat" I mean, by you saying 'lets get outta here' it should be pretty obvious that you like him without even having to say it, and then things can just be organic.


is there something that you could invite him to do that didn't seem like a date - more like just hanging out? Like if you are both conspiracy theorists and were talking about oh... the Kennedy assassination.. and say you found out there was a movie on that playing, or some exhibition at a gallery or a reading by someone who wrote a book about it, you could just say "hey, this is going on, do you wanna go check it out with me?"

or.... is there anything that you need help with that he knows a lot about? like um, I dunno - maybe he knows how to strip furniture and you "just happen to have" a dresser you want to re-finish.. (that's just totally random, it was the best example I could think of!! haha) you could ask him if he could come help you with it, or show you how. and then you are alone, in the same vicinity, without it being a date.

anyway, just some ideas...
Coela, I'm gonna say take it easy with this one. Like, no pressure. There are plenty of guys that are capable of being platonic friends with a woman, you may have found one. But then again, he could dig you way. Roll with it & see where it goes, yo.

You probably don't remember old ACrush. He drove me bonkers because I never knew where we stood. We hung out a few times a week talking, walking, having coffee, going to the symphony, going to parties together, etc. We called, we texted, we emailed at all hours, all situations. He was always saying shit about how cool I am & stuff. He once even called me & offered to take me shopping out of the blue. And it never went a danged place & it wasn't ever going to. Intellectually, I knew that, but my occasionally overly analytical mind kicked in & I would start examining every gesture & it nearly made my head esplode. Then he acted like a dick & we didn't talk for more than a year. But when I need him, he's always there.


Thank you all for your ideas. Auralpoison, I hear you, I had a friend like that myself. Or have.
We were all over each other like a rash, but for some reason things never developed further
than making out 1000 times. He's still my best friend, and there's still some kind of tension, but
there will never be anything more than that.

Sunday was, to quote the boy (K), "like a mirage, almost". Sun beaming from a clear blue sky,
people hanging out everywhere on benches and cafes, pink cherry blossom, water glittering in
the canal. We spent the entire day together until we were so tired we could hardly stand straight.
And I do think he's into me. He asks me so many questions about everything, like "are you a
vegetarian" when we're not remotely talking about food (and not for political reasons either).
He seems very, very sentimental over the thought of me as a kid, and asks me lots of questions
about that, and my family, and where I grew up. He's interested in just about everything I say,
and is very sensitive when our opinions differ. He noticed a very slight limp I have at the moment
from an inflammation in my heel cord, and seemed genuinly worried. He's 7 years older than I,
so maybe he's just a bit protective, or maybe that's just the kind of person he is. He's very attentive
and notices little things all the time, like the fabric of my purse and my tiny vintage Red Cross pin.
He plans ahead already on new things we should do together, like going photographing in the old
hospital culverts or visit the museum of curiosities near his house. And I'm thrilled beyond words!

He also said that although he hasn't known me for very long, he constantly thinks of things he should
remember to tell me, because he thinks I'd like to hear them. Like if he sees a picture somewhere
or hears some news on the radio that I would laugh about.

So those were the little things that made me think "Ok, now I'm pretty sure". But the thing that convinced
me was that he mentioned Crazy Ex again. He looked very tired and said that he doesn't want anything
to do with her anymore, and that he hates that she still has some of her things at his place.
I don't want to meddle in that too much, so I just asked if they used to live together, and he said "yeah,
temporarily" with no hint of feelings. "Ok" I said, "maybe she could just come over and collect her stuff during
the week, or you'll get rid of them in some way? It's not that much to ask, really. And you would probably feel
better afterwards" He looked tired again and said yeah, and that he had to do something about that. He said
he doesn't like to be at home when her things are still there, and that he'd like to invite me over to his house,
but he wants to solve this first, otherwise it wouldn't feel right. He said he'd do it during the week, and after
that I'd be very welcome.

Then I thought wow. Of course, first and foremost he's getting rid of her things
for his own sake, and there's still the possibility that he's just not happy in his own house as long as
they are there, and wouldn't want anyone to come over, date or no date. But I mean, really.. it does sound
a lot like he's making space for me in his life, I think.

I'm taking your advice to not push him, still. I don't think he feels pushed so far. I'm definitely not a clingy person,
and after all, he's the one who wanted to "become friends" and has taken most of the initiatives.
If this turns out to be all in my head, I'd be surprised, but I've decided not to be crushed in any case.
But I admit I've been contemplating what his bedroom looks like A LOT lately.. Hm!

Sorry, this is too long, I'll give more input and less rant soon, soon.
coela, dude, i'm sorry to break it to ya, but you're crushed. anyone who posts a long ass post like yours is crushed. nothing wrong with that. it does sound like he is into you. i mean, no guy would care to learn that much about you if he wasn't. it is also a good sign that he wants to be done with the ex factor before inviting you in. that's cool. take AP's advice and just chill. it sounds promising.

dorkface is officially being kicked out of the campaign tonight. aw. this sucks. oh well. it is an election year and i will only spend time with serious candidates....
stargazer, haha, I always write long ass posts, so that doesn't really mean anything.
But point taken! ;-)
I just spent hours talking to the youngin' in a school bus, as the sun was setting, while waiting for a track meet to end. And WOW do we have a lot more in common than I ever imagined.

I can really see myself spending some *quality* time with him in the future, and I'm excited to see where things go with him.

yeah for flanker! smile.gif
ugh. so, i invited w (along with the rest of the gang) to come to this picnic today, he said he had a previous engagement but would try to make it over if it ended early. it didn't, and whatever, that's completely understandable and not the issue, but friendgirl and my other work girlfriend came. which was nice and lovely and it was a beautiful picnic and i had a lot of fun, but before fg got there, the other girl was like "do you think w has a crush on her?" (even though this is a girl who has teased/brought up the subject of me and w before). friendgirl is an exceptionally pretty lady--blonde, super skinny hipster etc--and pretty much everyone has a crush on her, so it's not surprising if w does...

but that's why it's so effing confusing. he hasn't done anything towards me that he hasn't done towards fg, and since they work more closely together than we do he's more friendly with her at work. any tiny "sign" i pick up on that he might be interested is thwarted by the fact that he would have done the same (or more) had it been fg. it's frustrating.

i ended up confessing my crush to the other girl. she swore up and down that she would be discreet with the information, but now i'm wondering what i've done, since she is a bit of a gossip (but i mean, we all are) and is dating w's little sidekick's BFF...

fuckin a. i need a new hobby. mild boy is still available but he is just so mild. sigh.

Yay for flanker!

Mouse, sounds like a lovely picnic! Too bad that w couldn't make it.
Maybe you could make it work for you that you told the other girl
about your crush. I mean, if she gossips a little bit, that doesn't have
to be such a bad thing. It all depends.

About pretty girls at the office - you could easily outshine her once he
got to know you better. Plus, you're cute!

I have a pretty friend who dated a VERY pretty girl, and I had a crush
on said friend. We went out for drinks one night with Pretty Girl, and I
tried to be brave and generous about it, and when she left I said she was
lovely and seemed to have high standards and a big heart (she did a lot of
volunteer work). He was a bit drunk and said "She's nothing
compared to YOU, surely you must know that? You're my ideal". Then
crazy makeout followed all night. It never worked out between us anyway,
but that's beside the point. The point is that you can be someone's
ideal person even if there are people around with a thinner waist, straighter
nose or whatever.

Yeah. So, I've been out with K a couple of times and told him some of the
major bad bits of my past. I think he got quite shocked, and sad. A few
not so good days with very sparse texting followed, until I called him up
to probe a bit. He asked me first, though, if I thought things got weird the last
time, and said he felt bad for getting all cramped and introverted about it.
"You really shouldn't feel bad, it was my fault. You should feel free to tell me
about your past. And please don't be afraid that this will affect me, that I'll...
draw back, or something like that. It's perfectly alright. I actually think you
and I have very similar temperaments, I'm just not used to it. I've been..
involved or.. well, the people I've known before has often been quite different
from me."

So that's SOMETHING, I think. I have a good feeling about it at this point.

yeah, so i'm crazy. this, this we already knew. but here i am being a complete fucking girl, and getting these vibes that i'm already on the downslope of this latest crush excursion. real or imagined, i really don't know (goddamn hormones), but the text messages from since this weekend haven been shorter, terse, and have a turn around time of 24 hours on his behalf. i am an asshole.

he has an exam this week that he's stressed about, so this past weekend love-in was truncated, 90% of which consisted of hanging out in the presence of his roommate (and while a cool dude, I didn't drive 1.5hrs to find out his roommate's take on McCain). He did txt to say he had a nice time with me, and i know a lot gets lost over txt, but it seemed like a courtesy text, if you know what i mean.

I think I need to go to gym, and start ridin' diryt in '08, like i planned (right, stargazer?). but it sucks. i wanted (want) this to go somewhere. there. i said it. fuck me. i'm a girl.


flanker- yay!
coela- re: "She is nothing compared to YOU, surely you must know that? You're my ideal". That. is. the cutest. story. My stomach would have fropped on that one.
mouse- i'm seeing why you're hesitant. the whole "he he hasn't done anything towards me that he hasn't done towards fg" is superficially disheartening, but maybe it's all perception? maybe he's just friendly to all, but you aren't seeing that extra extra he's throwing at you?
it's cool. my crush waxes when i think he's interested or when he pays attention to me, wanes when i think he's not. convenient, really.

i'm considering calling flip flops. would that be weird? he was supposed to call, but then my phone got stolen AND i changed my number. through a complicated series of events i have now gotten my phone back, so i have his number again...
Yea! for Flanker!

Things sound promising, Coela. Let it flow like water over rocks in a stream, grasshopper.

Sorry. Watching Kung Fu right now. "Kung Fu!" *performed by the Dirtbombs*

Stargazer, you are personally responsible for me scaring the hell out of a Guatemalan family at Walmart. My car has a remote start & I'd been crankin' the JayZ. I wasn't even thinking, hit it & they jumped. Gotta love my rich old white lady car & it's bumpin' bass. "Bills to billboards, grams to Grammies . . . "

Mouse, mahdear, I'd call Flipflops. Just say, "Hey, my phone got shanghaied & I'm calling everybody in my old/new phonebook to touch base & say hello. With all the bullshit I had to go through to get my phonebook back post-jacking, I figured I'd damned well use it. So how the hell are ya?"

But I'm like that.

COCL, hey. I don't think there is anything wrong in being a "girl". Yeah, I'm a muthafuckin' playa at heart, but I've found a lot of new growth by letting myself be a "girl". To be treated with a little courtesy & not just be one of the gang. To be respected not because I am a force of fucking Nature (In my own mind! HA!), but a woman. To actually *want* to be smothered by a great octopus of a man as I try to sleep & fail . . . nah, nothing wrong with it all. So it makes us a little nuts sometimes. Small price to pay, non?

I often wonder if the human condition is to find that person that sets you on fire whether it be love or friendship. The one person you can't live without. The wonder of another person complimenting your personality in so many ways . . .

I am besotted. PORTIONS! I took the plunge! I'ma post it where it belongs . . .

BUT. I still have the touch. I got to travel over the weekend & mingled with my own element. Table of three charmingly dorky boys & one unhappy girl. One smart remark, a little flirting ensued. I was my normally witty & charming self (And don't forget the humble, folks.) & had them eating from my palm in no time. I so get off on when you can tell that a cutie is eavesdropping on your conversation instead of listening to the one he's having. I even gave a parting shot which I *NEVER* do. Suh-weet.
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Mar 25 2008, 05:28 AM) *
Let it flow like water over rocks in a stream, grasshopper.

I'm going to embroider that on my lucky panties.
mouse- i second AP's plan. and as a totally random side note, everytime i hear bran van 3000's "drinking in l.a.", you come to mind wink.gif

and AP, you is a pimp!

and can i just SIGH?? i'm getting mixed messages, and until i figure out if they're real or in my head, i'm taking a hiatus this weekend and going to a fucking spa and blowing some serious cash. nothing says "zen" like indulgent and negligent capitalism, right?? dry.gif
ha, well, that's what i do! wink.gif (btw, i am totally aware that i dropped the ball on the last mixtape swaperoo...they might turn up in y'alls mailboxes someday, though, as a surprise)

i'm sorry your boy is sending mixed messages. that's totally lame.

i'll probably call flipflops and just play dumb and pretend i lost my phone BEFORE he was supposed to call me and didn't. but first i need to find some time in my life to actually fit in a boy. jeebus. no wonder i'm single. i'm deeply cowardly, a terrible flirter AND i am the busiest fucking person ever. two art shows to prepare for, one illustration due sunday, overtime at my fulltime job because it's market, and a freaky amount of unopened mail piling up on my desk. i suck. and should not be on the internet right now.
Hi babes.


No crushes for me. I have decided no sex for a while.

Coela, um, flow away wink.gif

Hi Mouse, AP, COCL, Star, and flanker! I wish you all the best of luck with your newest exploits but have no real advice to offer as my mojo is just bleh right now. I am very...zen.
That and I am the only single bridesmaid in my step-brother's wedding.
For what its worth, congrats on the art shows, mouse! When are the receptions? (note to self..send mouse phone number)

I think I met someone special today. A grown-up. He has my email but I dont have his. pleeeeeease goddess of crushes I pray to you...make him write me....I can't even remember what he looks like but I think I want to see him again.
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