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yay greenbean!
Ooh la la, greenbean!
Heh, thanks guys,..but did I mention that I'm FREAKING OUT!! I mean, I'm happy, but I've just gotten very used to being solo, not really considering anyone but myself. This guy isnt being totally clingy or anything, but he much more comfortable with accommidating me in his life than I am with him.

AND something that really weirds me out--and coincidently this topic was brought up in the "Frustrated Singles" thread--but he has no scent! Like, nothing, even when he gets super sweaty (I've taken whiffs of him after a long bike ride and erm, while doing it,..and nothing! Its like, he smells like water). I mentioned it to him and he shrugged, saying its cuz hes healthy, but I've known healthy guys with plenty of odor. Anyhow, while I guess its better than being stinky-gross, I want him to have a scent, dammit!

..and another thing, eventhough we arent 'there' yet, he led me to believe that his mom wants him to marry a "nice Jewish girl". ...AND his moms a Republican! AAAAA!

But other than that, hes rad. Smart, funny, sassy. Deep, sexy voice, great ass, great cock, great dresser, can speak French, has a huge vinyl collection...yeah, this will probably be one for the books.

Oh, and I call him Wolfee.
Wolfee! thats so adoreable, Greenbean. heehee...i love it

gonna play tennis with M on Friday..and there is also a promised massage I owe him and now, even he agrees that he owes me one in return because it's only fair happy.gif
i would kinda like to take a shower after the tennis playing..but i don't know about taking him to my place and saying "wait out here while I shower" hehehe I feel he'll be awkard just waiting around.....
thanks candy & ophelia. you guys are totally right.

funny, my libido seems to be at an all-time low sad.gif you know it's bad when you try to get off and you lose interest halfway through and just stop.
...been awhile since I posted, been busy and stuff, blah blah...

greenbean - that's great!

mouse - I hear you on the libido thing... it's not even my libido, I get horny -it's just that I can't be bothered finishing. meh.

ophelia - you minx you!! I hope you get portions soon

bustirubi - what happened?

... and as for me... well, lets just say that a certain SB is a complete dickwad wuss.

Damn, I wish I had a lower libido. My period ended earlier this week and suddenly I felt the urge to hump just about everything in sight.

I don't have a full blown crush but I did start noticing how cute one of my friend's roommates is. Gah, so cute, he has dark hair and geek glasses!
oooohhh, geek glasses are so sexy wub.gif
So, we played tennis today, it was fun..JUST as fun as when we shared our first kiss! I gave him what was probably the best massage he has ever had and I layed on his bed next him as we listened to music talking sorta flirting...mostly just comfortable with one another...then it happened! the rest of the night was spent cuddling making out and laughing (watching arrested develoment) wub.gif

It was wonderful! he pounced and kissed me like a feroucious lion....and I purred like a kitten hhehe we kinda have a Lion Kitten thing going on...and we are taking this in such a graceful pace.....
So...I have invited to my cousins wedding in Feb(i already had before this happened)...hmmmm.......he's going cuz he really wants to....meeting the family....hmmmm...aaaahhh.....heheheheh

sending my ~crush vibes~ to all y'all

oh and i have to agree geeky glasses ARE hot hehehe.....wink.gif
QUOTE(opheliathemuse @ Jan 15 2008, 02:56 AM) *
Greenbean! I am so glad =) The scent of oneself is a natural perfume. You could either be smelling so compatible with you that he is 1) perfect or 2) like your family or 3) like you or an 4) an alien heehee. I like smelling the man I am dating too. It is comforting and very sexy.

It made me feel good to read this this morning. When my boy couldn't see me today I picked up his sweater and just inhaled deeply. It felt really good. smile.gif
ooh, bustirubi! what an exciting development! congratulations!

zoya! haven't seen you around in a bit. i totally forgot to pm you about what happened with kamikaze boy....SB should stop being a dickwad. sad.gif

ok so i know i said i wouldn't say anything else about him here but GAAAHHHHHHHHH it's like every fucking book in his bathroom was placed by somebody hiding out in my brain for the past several years taking notes on what would be the perfect thing to make me fall for a dude. FUCK.
it is weird how i see so much of loverboy nowadays at work? he really is a sweet guy. nothing else has developed there. but, it feels like we are both more comfortable talking with each other. i can appreciate that.

dorkface. what can i say about him? just when i think i'm done. he does something sweet. you know, if we just keep it superficial and nothing else. things are cool. i think i will keep it that way.
anna k
I posted in the portions thread about me having hooked up with a guy from Craigslist. It was interesting because I was inexperienced in giving oral and receiving anal, but it didn't turn me on as much as I hoped it would, like "OK, this is what it feels like." I was just tired of being a virgin with little experience (having only receieved oral and made out with some guys) fantasizing about crazy sex that I wanted to try something new. I just hope that I can feel more heat and drive another time. When I don't feel anything special (during this time or the other time a couple of years ago) it feels disappointing and boring.
Mouse- Isn't it the worst when they like the right books? And by "worst" I mean "amazing yet terrifying"?
anna k-You and I should talk. I've gone through similar stuff from my online hijinx.

And now onto me...

I still love the guy from my class, but I haven't seen him since the last sighting.

So now I will force you to read about my incredibly mortifying and long-standing crush. I've adored him for about a year and a half.
Do I know his name? No.
Do I know his age? No.
He's a night stocker at the Wal-Mart near my house. He has waist-length dreads, beautiful brown skin and the most FASCINATING face filled with craggy pockmarks. His shoulders are perfect and his teeth are SO WHITE! He first offered to help me one late night while I was looking for bleach, but I ignored his attempts at socializing. So now we grin shyly at each other whenever I'm there, and I'm told he grins at me like an idiot when I'm not looking.

Problem? He used to recognize me by my crazy-colored hair, but now it's a boring shade of black, and I'm worried he won't fancy me anymore.
go anna!!! woo!

fuzz, just talk to him! he obviously fancies you...and i don't think haircolor makes much difference if you really like the person.

and yeah, books, crap. not only copies of the same books i have, not only books that i would love to read, but heavy-duty intimidatingly brainy shit that shows that not only is he intelligent enough to read this stuff, he is actively keeping himself informed and intelligent. sure, i think he's cute, but really i just have a huge crush on his giant weirdo brain. which is the worst kind, really.
Awww, mouse, that is so good and yet so bad! It's like he was made for you or something.
I've been a crushee of one of my co-workers for the past week or two, and it is a nice feeling. He's a youngin' (he's 20, I'm 25), and a sweetheart. smile.gif Not sure what I want to do with it, if anything. I'm trying to take time for myself to sort out my issues with anxiety/depression, but the fact remains that I. Want. To love a man.

Fuzz, just say hi to him and introduce yourself. You can laugh at how awkward it is to make intros after all this time. I bet conversation will flow from there. And he'll still dig you without crazy hair, I bet.

Mouse, are we talking about the guy who everyone thinks you should hook up with?
/drive by hello to everyone

Fuzz, do say hello. Being straightforward is charming!

Mouse, you're driving us all INSANE!

Anna, I have to say the first time I had sex was really silly for me. Don't give up! Sex can be silly, bad, indifferent, good, ecstatic, or what have you. It has moods just like people.
Mouse, totally know what you mean about the giant brain! although I would hardly say my guy's is wierdo it's just frikin sexy, I think. And it goes back to the geeky glasses thing..I just found out he does wear them but doesnt wear them cuz he says he feels nerdy...I told him it's hot hehe.

well gals, thanks for your congratulations, I really appreciate all the support I get from these boards. The thing is as of a few days ago it's official and even better I think I might have to transition into the portions board woohoo....let me just say we had a great time this weekend wink.gif

*~woohoo, more crushee vibees~*
woo, rubi! congrats! that's awesome smile.gif

so--friday night, thanks to much urging from friendgirl, the co worker happy hour crew ended up at a divey bikini bar (yes, AP, jumbo's). it just so happened that one of the ladies performing that night was a friend of a friend of mine, who furthermore i had happened to spend an evening drunkenly making out with at a bar on my birthday a few years ago.

not much in my life has been so awkward.
[skips into room]

Howdy crushies!

Glad to see things are still buzzin' here in crushland.

Mouse- ooh, I'm a sucker for a guy with good taste in books, too!
Fuzz, your crushie situation is adorable. Go for it!
Anna, did you feel any "chemistry" with the guy in question? 'Cause if there's no spark in the kiss, say, I don't think there can be much spark to the sex. Ya know?

So. I was thinking of y'all today when I was at the bank. Remember my cute banker (dubbed Cash) who I wrote a classy little notecard to like a real rockstar? Yeah. I went to the drive-up teller, to avoid seeing him inside and feeling awkward... and who do you think is the drive up teller? Yup. Cash. We don't really look at each other during the transaction but when he sends me my money and says "thanks", I flash him a warm smile and a wave- ya know, no hard feelings. In the capsule with my money and ID there's a little note:

"I don't want you to misunderstand me. I thank you for the note, but I'm married, and I don't know if you want to go out with a married man."

Shitfuck! Ha! I guess I'm at the age where I need to start looking for the goddamn ring! smile.gif

I'm not fussed about it all though, because I have soooo moved on, and am crushing hardcore on some serious executive cock.

And, um, doing lots of other things to said executive cock, too!

man, no one thinks the fact that i went to a strip club with my crush and one of the strippers ended up being someone i made out with is HILARIOUS?


(ETA: octi, cash's note is soo funny! oh well. but yay for new executive cock! details?)
I do mouse! I had no idea a bikini bar=strip club. duh.

ahahah. Octi, oops! But, um, amusing!!
yeah, never gonna happen. by fault of both ends. i am doomed to celibacy for the rest of my life.
why is it so quiet in here?

and nonono! you must get laid, mouse! I decree it.
WOOHOO! Not only do I have a *totally* mutual crush on liquor store boy, now I have one on my cousin's fiance's weird brother. He looks like a fantastically dorky Justin Bartha. Then, then, then, one of said cousin's friends has a crush on me! I kinda dig him back a little, but, oh yeah, I have a man. A man that rogered me for three whole days almost a month ago. Distance sucks & my eye wanders . . .
things with dorkface are kaput. at least the way i feel. haven't heard from him and i'm kinda glad about that. loverboy...well, my interest has waned since the learning of new development. got a message from some random joe on myspace...seemed interesting...then he de-friended me and i'm like are the one who wanted to get to know me...must've been lookin' for hookups...

i guess i'm weeding out the laggers in the campaign run as we get closer to the election. campaign "gettin' ass in '08" continues to trailblaze across the country...
> man, no one thinks the fact that i went to a strip club with my crush and one of the strippers ended up being someone i made out with is HILARIOUS?

> *pout*

Oh, don't worry mouse, *I* still think your love life is hilarious! tongue.gif Really though, you should, must, will get laid! You are totally cute, sweet, and funny, so if you don't get ass there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. Or California, or wherever you're from.

Would you say you have quite high standards?

Man, it looks like lots of crushes are fizzlin' in here! Luckily I'm getting some executive cock to balance things out wink.gif I decided I wanted to get laid regularly without dealing with relationships, so I posted an ad on craigslist to that effect. Surprise, it turns out plenty of men are in the market for that arrangement as well. I carefully selected one, met him for dinner a couple of weeks ago, and have basically been shagging him ever since. And now (I'm a little backwards, yes!) I'm *really* crushing on him. I went into this with an eye only on sex, but it turns out he's a super cool guy and we're quite into each other. Yay!

Good luck to everyone!
star, i'm going to have to pull an edwards and back out of my "ridin' diryt in 08" campaign for lack of voter support. maybe if oprah got involved, my dating life would get a boost.

no crushes. at all. well, i lied. mini, milisecond passers-by crushes happen frequently enough, but it's considered poor form to jump out of your car during traffic to slip someone your number.

but i really came in here more or less to vent about a dream i had last night. it was cuddling with someone from my past, who was extraordinarily buff, and i was encircling his waist with my arms, telling him how tight and small it was. and i was thinking how nice is was just to be held. but then he kissed my neck, and i BOLTED up an ran off.

sad and pathetic for a number of reasons:
1. when i woke up, my arms were actually encircling a pillow.
2. the whole "wanting to be held" thing. gloria steinem is rolling over in her grave pre-emptively.
3. freud is jizzing himself over all the symbolism in this hot toddy

end vent.

and before i get any "awwws", i'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything, just sort of abstractly picking apart something that's not there. i've come to the conclusion that i need to go get my hair done, and start wearing tighter clothes. don't ask me where that conclusion came from, but it makes sense somewhere in my little little mind.

((crushies))... lurking is fun AND productive!
word, cocl, i think i need major celebrity endorsement too. i'm already disenchanted with my new years resolution.

i'm sorry you're having pathetic dreams, but you are cracking me up over here. you wear those tight clothes! get your hair done! and maybe, then, passersby will start jumping *into* your car to give you *their* numbers wink.gif

octi, yes, i do tend to have very high standards, or, less pleasantly worded, i'm damn picky. but it's not me, it's my cooze and my nervous system or whatever that decides it and it seems to be quite arbitrary...believe me, i wish i could crush on anyone. for me, there's a LARGE difference between attractive and unattractive, and it's slightly rare that i find someone the former. and, unfortunately, i don't get any pleasure from fooling around with someone i'm not into. mostly, though, i tend to never meet anyone new. i haven't seen either of my beginning of the year semi-crushies since i met them, and i haven't met any new boys who seem at all vaguely interested or interesting. my city is a shit city for dating, it's really a wretched, awful, and majorly skewed dating pool since, y'know, like, zoey deschanel hangs out at the same bars i do. NO ONE is going to look at me with girls like her around. and people tend to stick to their own "cliques" since i tend to hang out at places that are not meat-markety.

i have a ton of friends out here and i feel really grateful for that, but for the most part they are girls and gay guys. also, i'm TERRIBLE at flirting. i know star will smack me upside the head for saying that, but it really is true. i never learned it. i wish i could take a class.
Greetings All, long time since I have been in here, but I might just have something to contribute....and by tomorrow this time, I could either be in here shedding tears..OR I could be in the start of my next 'big thing'

The story so far:

About 4 years ago, I met a girl through some friends...great looking woman, with a clearly naughty streak...I liked her straight away, we had a little flirt here and there, and sometime later, both of us a little tipsy, I make a move...BLOCKED!! but not in a bad way, the reason she said was because of a recent breakup yadda yadda yadda. So being the nice guy, I take it no further until a few months later when I ask her on a date, just a fun time with no intentions other to spend some time finding out a bit more about her....we go out, and later in the evening we join up with her sister and some of her mates...I am introduced to her sister, my jaw almost hit the floor, I was a slurring puddle of ga-ga and barely managed a coherent 'hello, I am kal'. Instant nothing I have ever experienced before, and I defo felt a little vibe from her, albeit she was with some guy. Over the years, I get to know them both pretty well, we are the best of friends...and I have watched them go through boyfriends, been a shoulder to cry on and all round NICE GUY! About 2 years ago, I mentioned to one of hot sisters friends that I had a bit of a crush on her, but given the dynamic of the friendship, never really pushed the issue.....a few days later, friend tells me that I should back off ever doing that....sister is not interested....I felt embarrassed that this was discussed between the two of them, and I had no say....but I don't mention it....Fast forward to Friday night, and sis and I meet up at a party, a discussion is entered where she mentions how much she would like to meet a really stable guy (I think, ME) and someone who will be honest (ME again), caring (UH-HUH) who she can spend time with, talk to (yep, ME again) so what do I do? I say "Why didn't you ever consider me, you know I am all of those things...and more" .....almost buried my head into a flower pot as soon as the words were clear of my my utter amazement, she comes up with " I have, I have thought about it a lot, and I know you would be so good for me.." ...and here is the kicker...."but you and my sister had something, and I cannot get involved with someone who has been with my sister"....*wide-eyed stare*.....the extent of my involvement went no further than a discussion, a failed attempt at trying to kiss her....NOTHING more...but she is sceptical..we spend some time together at the party, I little bit of light kiss from time to time....and her friend arrives where we are sitting, and wants to go sister tells me she cannot let frined go home on her own, she should go too....I cannot argue this point, it is only fair....
Next day, I get a tex saying that she had a great night, but maybe we should not persue anything, she thinks that her sister and friend are right when they say that to ruin a friendship is not worth it...

I am so confused, I am thinking that on one hand she is right, don't risk a frendship....but another part of me wants to consider the risk of missing MORE time with someone I really like, who I see loads of potential in....why is it that sister and friend advise on how the relationship will fail, or pass judgement on me so soon....I said to her that she can only make a decision once she has heard my side of the story, got my opinion...I so like this girl, I have had a four year crush and I cannot bear to think about wasting more time, we are so compatible in so many ways, but how do I go about this without sounding like I am begging for her to reconsider....I just want her to follow her heart, and see whats in mine....I am cooking dinner for her tomorrow, and she has agreed to come and listen to what I have to say....and via text message that her mind is racing around like a mad thing thinking about all of this....

Now THAT is a crush....I wonder if it is going to crush me....HELLLP!
damn! why did it post double...? doppelganger removed wink.gif
kal, whoa, what a story! i'm seriously the wrong person to ask about how to handle things cause as i've said it before...i'll say it again...i'm a risk taker....and i never understood the whole we are such good friends that i would not want to ruin the friendship. wha? that's a pussy way to deal with a mature decision. if you are good friends, then the relationship such as a dating one should be a natural transition. i remember having the same convo with bcrush once. he wanted to know what it was like to date someone of my ethnic background. and i was like, "why don't you date me?" cause you never know until you try. nothing came about it. i'm still friends with him. anyway...back to you...i'm thinking this girl is attracted to you and is letting her sister and friend do her decision making. now, i can understand that she might be uncomfortable to make a move d/t what her sis and friend might say. so, damn. just speak up to what makes you good for her to date. if she took the whole sister thing out of the picture, would her feelings for you still be the same? who knows. dude, please let us know how it goes. the suspense is killing me....

oh, and welcome back into the thread! wink.gif
Hey Kal. Thats intense! I can only advise that you stay STRONG, confident, and avoid looking needy or whiney at all costs!! Instead show her what she'd be getting with you as a boyfriend--cook a kickass meal, smile and look in her eyes a lot, and keep your sense of humor about the whole situation. Maybe make a joke about the friend and sister who don't want you two together--make it seem like it'd be a 'forbidden' relationship. And even if none of it seems to work, do NOT resort to stressing how you are such a GOOD GUY!! I guarantee you she already knows you are, and pushing it will just make you seem weak. In fact you should play up your devilish side. I remember when Wolfee first made me dinner, I told him how 'sweet of him' it was, and he looked at me with a half smile and said, "I'm not doing this to be sweet." I LOVED that.

Hope this helps. If she stands by 'i want to just be friends' then you have to accept it and DO NOT appear sad. You dont want her to be with you because she pitys you. If you stay strong she may come around eventually, even if its not tomorrow night.

zoey deschanel hangs out at the same bars i do. NO ONE is going to look at me with girls like her around.
Gah! I was just watching 'All the real Girls' w/ my male housemates the other day and they were saying how ANNOYING they think she is! Then they went on about how hot Tina Fey is. They have girlfriends so I cant match you up with either of them, but they have single friends...I'll find out when the next group thing is and give you a call, k?!

Octi--You have a CL causual encounter!?! Hot! I came real close to trying that. Tell us more about him!

Stargaze and COCL, keep the dream alive and go after that ass!

Sooooo, if y'll read my post in "Frustrated" you know I screwed up with Wolfee...for the time being. He did call last night to say that hes in another city due to a unexpected business trip, and wants to talk when he gets back. He sounded in good spirits (yay!) so maybe not all is lost. Hes such an awsome guy and my blow-up on him proved it even more cuz he stayed so level-headed and concerned about me when he could have been like "bitch, you crazy!". I hope I can keep it together and work it out with him. I miss his furry torso.
hey kal, wish you luck...not even sure what happened there...but yeah. I would follow GB's advice to appear nonchalant because I despise soppy people, especially men who are trying to get into my pants.

and octi? I am happy you exist. Seriously. "so I posted an ad on craigslist to that effect" hahhaha...I never would have thought of that, but it's brilliant. I love it.

star, you know it's because most people are pussies about the truth.

80% Valrhona

OH MY GOODNESS> Mouse! can you elaborate on how awkward that bikini bar thing was? Because- did anyone catch on? That's hilarious... I can't believe all this exciting stuff happened the one day I forgot to lurk.

Kal, that effing sucks.

Octi? Can you give us the 'details' you posted for/ what did your ad say? I'm intrigued.

1. With Securityguard we walked around a parkade for awhile (both being security guards doing the same job, i.e. walking), talking and it was good. I forgot about it, and so he shows up a few weeks ago, with this nice smile, "Katana, right?"
"Um, yes."
"You don't remember me, do you?"
"um...." He's always walking into work late with the only excuse that would work. "Sorry, I was so caught up in this book." Forgiven. Every time. Especially when he starts explaining physics and protons to me. He walks and reads! And also his business plan. And he plays chess. And has a work ethic and grouchy days that are cute.
I brought him fries because I accidentally went home with the radio. He's cute and fun to talk to and organized to an inch of his life.

2. I always wonder, with my penchant for scraggley black haired types like Davey Havok and Johnny Depp, if I would actually find them hot in real life, or if I would brush them off as scraggley.
So in painting class, I'm checking people out... and there's the Israeli dude.
I was like, "He's scraggley."
Then.... "in a kind of Depp-face sort of way....hmm.... yeah, ok, i'd do him."
two weeks, two shy smiles and a "how are you today" later, he's offering me a ride to the bus stop.
He has a nice truck and a gentlemanly manner and speaks Hebrew.

3. I drunk text messaged my baby bat and she wrote back she misses me all the time. Aww......

I need sex, though. Ugh.
hahah glass it was pretty awkward. she made eye contact with me when she was out in the bar area after she did her show and was like "i know you!" so we made small talk and she was like, "yeah, i'm pretty tired..." and then she got back up there and hung upside down on a pole. i gave her a big tip. friendgirl knew because i had told her and i pretty much spent the night drunk with my head buried in her shoulder going "OMIGODTHISISSOAWKWARDHELP". i think the guys just thought i was freaking out because i was at a strip club, which is kind of hilarious and kind of metaphoric as well.

i'm beginning to have slight suspicions that other dude in the group is flirting with me. this is bad on many levels. a: i have a crush on his friend. b: he is WAY too young. c: he already hooked up with friendgirl. i hope he is just being friendly and being the goofy kid he is, and not actively flirting with me. i do not need that kind of a wrench.

i do, however, need a screw. from someone else. my god.
Mouse,I hear ya! I not only need a screw I need a whole goddamn screwdriver!!

Ok, so it has been ages since I was on here.I'm writing this as a preventative measure.I really want to ring this guy that I thought I was over.
He rejected me about 2 months ago.We met online,he's 25 (I'm 30) and he thinks he's a playwright.Ok that was a little harsh.I haven't read any of his work so I guess I can only assume he is or is aspiring to be one.The really weird thing is that when I see him for the first time or after a period of time,I don't find him attractive.It's always the second time I see him that the crushie feelings return.
But anyway.A couple of weeks ago I sent him a message on his Myspace page.Just a comment that I still had a book he lent me and would he like it back.Ok I was prejecting....I don't know why? The guy is completely hopeless when it comes to women (me anyway).When we started seeing each other the first time he said that he 'wasn't ready for a relationship'.Then when I left the message on his page he contacts me again and is all " I love you,I want to be with you ect'.I'd told him previously not to contact me because he was being such an asshole.But after the message on myspace he took it like he could contact me again.
So we've been chatting on Msn for about a week then last Sunday he called me and invited me over.
I went because 1.I suck and 2. I had to get out of the house.... I'm a muso and I'd been recording and producing all day.
When he called me I told him that I wasn't wanting to be anything but friends.He agreed.Sort of.When I got to his house and we sat down he kissed me.I didn't extend the tongue though so I guess that amounts to something.I didn't find him attractive at all on Sunday but I had an excellent time.He's fantastic to talk to and I ended up staying for about three hours.
I felt dissapointed when I was there though that I didn't feel the same the last time I saw him.
Now I want to see him and talk to him.AAAAHHH.I wish I knew myself better.I think I just liked the company maybe.He's hopeless in bed and had such a small penis ( I'm not holding this against him but I it could cause problems later on.) I didn't sleep with him on Sunday as I was really not attracted to him.But now I am?? Does that make sense? I don't know.
women hate sex!????!? blink.gif why didn't anyone TELL ME??? god, these past months of sexual frustration could have been SOOOOOO much easier, OMG!

ophelie, i'm not quite sure what you're advising me to do? personal leverage test of what?

also, other dude keeps being cryptic about w. he and friendgirl and i were out smoking today and discussing my new years resolution to make out with more people (mild new years dude who other friends want me to go out with will be at a party i am attending this weekend) and he goes "well, you can start with w!" i just gave him a look and said, deadpan, "that's hilarious." (i do not trust other dude as far as i could throw him, and considering he is a tiny hipster boy, i could throw him quite far) and he goes "that's not what he said!"

however, as i've said, i do not trust him, he is known to lie and/or fuck with people for fun, so he could easily just be messing with me. a little while ago, when the bromance between other dude (od from here on in) and w was new, od crashed at w's place and they apparently stayed up all night talking (awwww, bromance! even more adorable for the fact that there is nearly two decades between them) and after that for a while od would tease me by saying he and w talked about me (he doesn't know about my crush, but since w and i are basically the only two left in that small social circle who haven't hooked up, it's an expected target for teasing) but friendgirl (fg) said she asked od and he said they actually hadn't, he was just teasing. but again, we can't trust od, and i suppose something could have been discussed more recently.

i wish i had any sort of insight as to whether w experiences this type of teasing regarding me from the same friends who, clueless about my crush, tease me about him--and what his reaction is. maybe i can do some sleuthing through otherfriendgirl (ofg) who keeps bringing it up as well, and who i trust more than i trust od.

i like how convoluted this situation is. and by like, i mean hate. and yes, i suppose it could be unconvoluted by simply airing my infatuation to w, as i have previously stated i don't want to risk messing up the good thing and pleasant, non-awkward workplace ambiance i have going, especially as we are headed into an economic recession!!*&@$@!@ yes, i am a pussy, but i am a RATIONAL pussy.

datagirl! don't do it unless you are fully willing to give him another chance. you didn't elaborate on how he was an asshole last time except to say that he wasn't ready for a relationship--maybe he really is now? but if you do go back to it, don't go back to it bitter and expecting him to screw you over again. if you do go back, air your grievances and let him know that you don't want to be pulled around--make sure he knows what you want and where you stand.

as for the only liking him the second time, i can understand that. when you've built someone up to be an asshole, especially with the intent on getting over them, it's easy to dislike them and forget/ignore the parts you originally were smitten with. but once you spend time with them, it's not as easy to convince yourself that they are so thoroughly an asshole.

so, tread carefully, but make sure you know exactly where you stand and he does too! good luck!
I think I am done with actually going out of my way to meet guys. Last night I had a date with a guy who was really nice but omfg he was sooooo boring and kinda stupid. So I'm just done with actually trying. However, I am not done with sex.

But I must say, it feels kind of refreshing to actually just be happy with where I am right now and not feel so desperate for a relationship. It's like something in me has shifted.

mouse, I wish I knew what to tell you. I feel so much like you should just tell him! I don't know, maybe I'm a hopeless romantic but I picture things turning out so wonderfully.

data, are you going to hang out with him again?
ugfh nevermind

oh nevermind.
sigh. yeah, cc, i really should just tell's just....sigh. there's so much at stake, and i've had SO many experiences where i've come out and said something to someone i was crushing on for ages and *thought* i saw interest from, only to have them go "ooohhh, sorry, no". in fact, i used to be quite ballsy in my younger days, making moves and asking boys out left and right, and NONE of them ever took me up on it. the relationships and involvements i've had have happened rather organically--hanging out one on one progresses to making out, etc, and it was always the other person making the first move. if i had more of an idea of how he felt about me...but it's so hard to tell. he's not a flirter (he's an arguer and a poke-funner) and neither am i.

it feels so underhanded and middleschool to ask fg to mess with him the same way od has been messing with me just to suss out his reaction, but i'm thisclose to asking her....

i don't think i'm smart enough for him. or at least, i don't think i'm *knowledgeable* enough for him. though from what i know of the last girl he dated, she kind of seems dumb as a brick. maybe i'm *too* smart for him tongue.gif
dude, I am in such a screw it mood tonight. Maybe because I feel awful. But seriously, do what makes you happy.
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