Feb 23 2007, 02:54 PM
I've tried very hard not to call daycare and check on her. The new antibiotic seems to be reducing the runny poop, so she only woke up once last night. You know, my favorite time of day is "first breakfast" when I first get up, feed her and cuddle her back to sleep. Its a total "mom" moment.
eta: tart, we still use the gripe water (a splash in an 8 oz bottle at bedtime) if moxette has been terribly fussy. Calms her belly right down. Wish we could use it with this antibiotic stuff, but i want to not mix and match remedies too much.
Feb 23 2007, 07:08 PM
don't you just hate that internal struggle, mox? "must...know...NOW...no...resist...no...must...do...job! MUST KNOW NOW!...no! step away from the phone!"
of course, i only ever manage to leave my kid in daycare for two hours at a time, so there you go. i do manage to resist calling for that long.
i dunno, tart...i think it's just the time, as chani says, that you spend with the wee people. generally it's mama who starts out doing the lion's share, bf or not, and i'm sure anoushh could attest that you don't have to be bfing to feel like it's all your responsibility, all the time...i am still bf (tho only a couple times a day) the bean at 18 months, but i've gotten much better about dumping him on his dad when i need to do work. now the mr. is with him most afternoons, which means that he is actually doing things i don't do (granted, nap is in the afternoon, but for example he's become expert at soothing him back to sleep if he wakes up too soon). when the bean was under a year and i was home nearly full-time and the mr. was working full-time, the whole "controlling mama" dynamic was fully in effect...but really, how could it not be? the mr. hadn't a clue what was going on and, after the first couple of months, the bean went to bed two hours after he got home anyway!
(eta: i'm a bit scared to say so, but sometimes i feel that as a thread we're a bit hard on breastfeeding. this thread has listed lots of great reasons not to and hardly a positive thing to say about it. i appreciate the fact that i think people are trying to investigate other viewpoints besides just 'breastfeeding is best,' and maybe some feel that enumerating the benefits of breastfeeding is beating a dead horse, but sometimes i also feel kind of like i can't say anything positive about it because that would mean i was pressuring or disrespecting those who choose not to breastfeed. and while the reasons are very interesting, i still think the health and well-being benefits of breastfeeding are important. talk about good for the immune system!)
((healing vibes for anoushh - you might try this: http://whitebirdclinic.org/))
okay, i'm back to work. frantic waves and hugs to all y'all...things have been one little annoying setback after another, including my first really negative bout with the politics of academia, which, if you haven't heard, are increeeeedibly petty. hope everyone has a blissful and worry-free weekend.
Feb 24 2007, 05:20 AM
gren...no, no, no! ELaborate on your wonderful experiences, please! You've BF longer than most women, and I have no doubt have had a wonderful experience doing so. I talk about bottle feeding b/c I feel a little defensive in the face of "REAL mothers SAHM and BF". See...the health benefits. Is it b/c breastfed babies are generally not around other snot-monsters as much, or does the cold-flu viral immunity come from breastmilk? I've read studies that say both, neither, one or the other, etc.
The time thing with the wee one is really the key, I think. WHen I was on leave, I spent all day, every day with moxette. I knew her backwards and forwards. WHen I went back to work, we had to renegotiate that time and work out a routine that fits all three of us. Moxieman did a "dream feed" which I tried to do once and failed at miserably...but he's got a golden touch that let moxette eat and not wake up. I know the early morning baby like a clock.
Speaking of regular life- gren, how's the house situation?
Feb 24 2007, 09:14 AM
the house situation....???
aaaaaggh! *runs for hills*
we are just really confused about the house situation. we're thinking of buying another one, renting the old one, and taking a loss each month. but since i'm a teacher (and lately the job is the pits and i wonder if they're gonna fire me, excuse me, not renew my probationer's contract) and the mr. is a student, we don't have a lot of leeway for that.
who the hell says that real mothers SAHM? and why must we connect such ignorant antifeminist statements with biological functions like breastfeeding? show me those people, mox, i'll splat 'em.
my understanding of the immune benefits of breastfeeding is that breastfeeding allows the child to get your antibodies through milk. this means that if i am in the same environment as my kid (thus, exposed to the same germs), my mature immune system will quickly produce antibodies and share them with the bean, who can then fight off the bug better as his own immature immune system develops. most docs will cite you "fewer colds, fewer allergies" for breastfed babies, and i can attest that 1)the bean has had a fever only 3 times in his life; 2)two of those times were when the mold was at its worst; and 3)since we got out of the mold situation he is barely/rarely sick - that is, he seems to skip about half the colds other kids have at daycare and he never has progressed beyond the clear runny snot (as opposed to neon green i see those kids with) stage. so really, if we hadn't had to damage the poor kid's health with moldfest 2006, he'd probably never have been sick at all.
as far as the exposure - it only takes minimal exposure to get the germs, so i don't know that the time factor (bean is only in daycare part-time) matters much. a little, probably, in that he may miss windows of contagion with some kids...but usually within five minutes of our arrival he has been breathed on, slimed, and generally germed up by at least three other kids (we are in the 1-2 year old class, so everyone can walk and is highly mobile), many of whom have the aforementioned neon snot (i actually considered doing a public health awareness pamphlet to convince parents there were other options besides bringing an obviously contagious kid to daycare, but i digress).
my mother quit BFing me when i was six months old (and put me on double-strength reconstituted nonfat milk, do not ASK me what the ped was thinking) and i was sick constantly for the next three years, much of which i remember. so that's another thing. and yeah, i'm fine now, but much of my childhood was exhausted and sickly. so i want to give the kid a reasonable immunity foundation before flinging him to the wolves.
that's the argument that compels me about breastfeeding. my MIL cites some study that claims breastfed kids are "more emotionally resilient," but i wonder if that's just not "kids who got lots of attention/cuddles in babyhood," many of whom are breastfed. the idea that breastfeeding results in higher IQ (which always seemed weird to me, but on the other hand apparently fish does, so whatever)is probably false; what has been shown is that there is a strong correlation between maternal IQ and child IQ and that more mothers with higher IQs choose to breastfeed, so that's a chicken-egg scenario.
anyway. i personally am not really moved by the whole "beautiful earth mother womanhood ya ya" arguments for doing anything, and i hate how breastfeeding gets relegated to either crazy conservative woman-oppressing luddite weirdo or crunchy granola hippie druggie stereotypes by people like my father the scientist, who is acutely uncomfortable with the idea and keeps insisting that "science COULD create a superior infant-feeding product....it COULD...it just hasn't been done yet!" to which i reply, "yeah, synthesizing all those antibodies, not to mention creating the proper soluble proteins and fats, would be awfully expensive."
anyway, thanks for keeping the home fires burning, people. lately i'm too much of a ticking time bomb to post much, but it's nice to know you're here.
Feb 25 2007, 06:07 PM
This just in: holy shit, he's walking. More later....
Feb 26 2007, 05:04 AM
Did I mention I got a "mama, look"? sentence? Yep! Not walking though.
Happy Monday all!
Feb 26 2007, 01:37 PM
That's awesome, Mox! We're still at the dadadadaddy & occasional mama stage... not that that's stopping him from being a right motormouth, though.
It's nonstop bllllppppththththhtbldededbllllphhhdededeee in our house...
Yep, Houston, we are bi-pedally mobile! It's not pretty - very Frankenstein-esque staggering - but it works, at least for a few steps. The best part is the look of sheer terror mixed with elation - "OMG! What's happening! This is cool! HELP!" (insert faceplant here)
This, of course, just as we're starting to pack for our Big Move in April, so the apartment is an unholy wreck and in no way proofed, beyond a few token outlet plugs... Have I mentioned that we're screwed?
No time for extended BF discussion, but I will say that I tend to not speak until spoken to about it, as I know what an emotional minefield it can be for some mums. If I don't come across as super pro-BF, it's because I feel I can be more honest here about the more difficult aspects of motherhood & not have to be quite so "brave", if you know what I mean. We've also very happily supplemented since month 3, so I'm not in the exclusively-BF groove that tends to accompany gushing advocacy. That said, I thank my lucky stars every day that we're still BFing at 10+ months, with no end in sight. It's my magic bullet, and we'd be a much more sleep-deprived family without it.
Feb 27 2007, 06:24 AM
tart, as usual, you are a voice of reason and the most favored bustie approach of "what works, DO."
Question on toddlers and food...when did your kidlets reject the pureed baby food? And, what did you use to replace the uber-nutrients of baby cereal. Moxette is just about totally rejecting baby food at 11 mos, which makes me thrilled, however, I need to put my creative thinking cap on for the veggies. She only has 2 teeth, so spinach and other leafy greens are still out. Tonight, spinach-infused pasta and sauce. She TOTALLY loves pasta sauce of any stripe. Anf, I'm making a box of the Zataran's red-beans and rice for our "big people" dinner, and I'm hoping its not too spicy, so I can just pack the left-overs for her lunch tomorrow. hehe.
OK, one last thing on the breast-bottle discussion. I am reading the "Toddler 411" book right now. Strongly recommends STOPPING bottle at 12 mos. Yet, says to keep breastfeeding, especially at bedtime, for as long as the baby wants for comforts sake at least. Um...she's using sippy cups for her "awake" milks right now...i want to keep the naptime and bedtime bottles for exactly the same reason. Why the comfort of "comfy" bedtime is somehow wildly differnet for breast and bottle, I'll never know.
Feb 27 2007, 08:01 AM
I think it's more an issue of dental hygene, Mox - the sugars in formula & the way milk/formula pools in the mouth when a bottle is used can wreak havoc on baby teeth. Breastmilk sugars are much more benign, and breastfeeding has the nipple much farther back in the mouth, only releasing milk when there's active suckling. There is, I'm sure, also the concern that parents will put the bebe in
bed with a bottle of milk/juice.
On the food tip, if you're giving formula, I wouldn't stress too much about dropping cereal for a bit - maybe talk to your ped about vitamin supplements if she goes on an extended food strike. Tartlet's just starting to bat away the spoon, so I suspect we'll be in the same boat in a few weeks. (So much for the metric ton of veggie puree cubes I have in the freezer...) We did cubes of roasted butternut squash & plain tofu this weekend, to great applause. I'd think well-steamed bite-sized veggies would be fun - broccoli, cut green beans, zucchini... You could puree some spinach into her pasta sauce, or add it to your beans & rice (which I'm sure are fine, just look out for the sodium). She's eating eggs now, right? Maybe veggie pancakes, a la latkes? Shred some carrots/zucchini/leafy greens, drain them a bit, fold in a bit of flour & a beaten egg or two.
We've been doing lots with spices & herbs lately - carrots & yoghurt with dill, sweet potato/orange squash with ginger & nutmeg, cinnamon on just about any fruit... I let him taste my hummus over the weekend, and he all but lept out of the chair to grab the rest of my sandwich, so I think that's
Now, about that Panang curry paste...
Still on the Crappy Sleep wagon, waking multiple times in the night & comfort nursing til my tatas feel like they're going to fall off... (mutters to self) This too shall pass, this too shall pass...
Feb 27 2007, 08:25 AM
it SHALL pass, tart. and, someday, you will suddenly really miss the late night cuddles. Someday. Yeah, its not so much that she's on any kind of hunger strike...just the opposite, in fact. She just stongly prefers table food. she is digging veggie burgers alot right now...the veggie pancake is a great idea. And, I forgot that i have spinach pasta at home. That will do both for grains (whole wheat base) and veggie. Eventually, she'll have enough teeth to have salad with us.
Hummus...great idea. I wonder if she's like tabouleh, also... As for the purred veggies, why not use them in pasta sauce, or to make a soup base? There's plenty one could do with cubes of pureed stuff. Thanks for the ideas! Miss moxette had apples with cinnamon for "desert" last night and went apeshit over them.
I figure that we'll know when the time is right to do away with the bottle at bedtime. Kidlet only has 2 teeth...i'm very seriously not worried at the moment about decay of teeth that don't exist.
And, to play devil's advocate, are you sure that tartlette isn't manipulating you a bit at night? He was sleeping SO well for a while there...i know there's a camp that says infants can't manipulate adults with behavior, but I tend to disagree with that. They know cause and effect.
Feb 27 2007, 08:41 AM
No, this is definitely "something's up" waking - in the Old Days, he'd sleep straight through, not waking up at all. Now, with teeth & synapses going apeshit, he's waking up & freaking out. There's definitely some separation anxiety, as well - he's super clingy during the day now, not so much needing to be held, but not wanting me out of his sightline. I take your point, though, and will keep it in mind if this keeps up, or if I start getting the scream-my-head-off-til-Mum-comes-in-then grin-like-a-monkey shenanigans...
(Yeah, we'll get through the puree - it's more the principle, really. I may actually see if our friends down the road would like some, since their bebe should be starting solids in a month or so...)
We started "toothbrushing" last night, more for fun than profit. Tartlet was all about the rubbery fingertip brush, so hopefully we'll get him used to it now, so it's not a huge struggle when it becomes necessary...
Feb 27 2007, 08:52 AM
oh, we toothbrush for fun...moxette adores her own toothbrush while we're brushing in the morning. we get it wet, then let her go to town. Yes, see, you've seen the shennanigans...but if the bebe needs a parent to calm the synapses and the teeth, then go to it, sista! We're in a moment of calm, I know.
Feb 27 2007, 10:34 AM
wow for walking, tart!
we are trying to brush the bean's teeth 2x/day, just for the sake of developing habits (of course he has probably 12 or 14 teeth, including molars, and is also capable of eating crackers, cookies, etc. - and i still remember the 8th grade science experiment where we chewed a saltine and discovered that mere saliva was enough to turn the simple starch to sugar).
mox, tart is right about bottle/breast. the sugars in breastmilk are less harmful AND the position of breastfeeding is such that the fluid largely bypasses the teeth, whereas bottle-feeding is much more frontal. it's called "bottle rot" for a reason...
the bean loves hummus. but you might want to watch citrus, which is a potent allergen, at this age - could always be made without.
the crappy sleep wagon comes and goes...just wait for MOLARS! the bean was really fine for all other toofs, but getting his molars caused much waking and POOLS OF BLOOD in the bed.
Feb 27 2007, 11:02 AM
thanks. is it weird that she is 11 mos old and only has 2 teeth? Not really showing signs of any more coming soon, either.
Feb 27 2007, 11:12 AM
Pools of blood?
We're 2 weeks behind you, and only 2 teeth here, as well, Mox - the uppers did a bait & switch...
Feb 27 2007, 11:41 AM
i'm pretty sure that as long as they have a couple more teeth by the time they're five, everything is fine. all kids are different - my coworker was telling me that neither of her two girls walked until age two. you'd never know it to look at them now - six and seven, and supremely coordinated little persons they are.
the pools of blood were perhaps more pools of blood-tinged drool, but it was still alarming when i saw the huge stains on the sheet and realised what was going on.
Feb 27 2007, 12:42 PM
thanks. i know, moment of new-mom stupid paranoia.
Tart, it looks like our granchildren will be gummy wonders!
Feb 28 2007, 08:32 PM
Chaniboy got his first tooth on his first birthday, and we've spent the next six months popping them out every week! He's got all his molars now except 2!
Mar 1 2007, 04:39 AM
every week? goodness, no wonder he's not sleeping well! I should just keep telling myself, "enjoy the good sleep" and let it go at that, ya? The 2 other 11 month olds in moxettes class have 1 and 2 teeth, respectivly. The 7 month old has 5!
Chani, isn't this week your last at work until V2.0 arrives? How is our wee bustette? and her big brother?
Mar 1 2007, 03:40 PM
just need to share my joy! We went 36 whole hours BFing without the nipple shield so far!! yay!!
Lil' man had his 2 month old shots on Monday and has been sleepy/ fussy ever since. Last night, he was up every few hours to feed. I wasn't sure at 1st if he was truly hungry or just in need of cuddles but then I heard his tummy growling each time. Same thing today too, feeding every hour or so. He seems hungry and sleepy but then only feeds for 5-8 minutes before coming off the breast. He's still smiling and cooing so I don't think he's sick, and no fevers from the shots so far. Does anyone know if they go thru a growth spurt around 10 weeks?
Mar 1 2007, 03:49 PM
3 months is a totally normal growth spurt time. 10 weeks is very close!
and, jas...WOOO HOOOO!!! on the BF without the sheild! You go! Rock on!!
Mar 2 2007, 09:03 AM
That's awesome news, Jasmine! I'm so glad your hard work is paying off! Yep, sounds like a growth spurt to me, though shots can throw a bebe off kilter for a few days. When he pops off, are you offering him the chance to latch back on, on the same side or switching over? I found that in the early days Tartlet would pop off as if he was finished, but if offered the nip again, he'd usually latch right back on. I think sometimes they need a breather between courses
Slowly working out the nightime bumps here... We're almost back to normal again, but the one wake-up we're still getting is all over the map - some nights it's not til 2 or 3, but last night it was really early, around 10. Still can't pin down a specific reason he's waking up - sometimes it's obviously his tum/teeth, other times, who knows?This
is winging its way to our house as we speak - it looked like a good solid investment, something he can push around now to get more confident walking, but still play with when he's a good bit older...
We're meeting up with some friends & their 2 kidlets for a trip to the zoo tomorrow - sure, we really should be packing (only 6 weeks
til we move), but I am so done
with winter & am dying to get out of the house... our new custom mei tai will get its first extended road test. It's really comfortable so far, and carrying him on my back opens up a whole new world of mobility - no extra hands picking & swatting at anything I'm trying to look at... now he just pulls my ears.
Mar 2 2007, 09:11 AM
tart- we have a similar one-plastic, but converts to a tricyle type thing after walking. we LOVE it. She goes round, and round, and round all over the basement. We got moxette this table
for her birthday coming up. I'm hoping its as much fun as it looks. I told my mom to get her a membership to the zoo for her birthday! gah! I can't believe I'm talking birthday already! Oh, and tart, when i looked at the amazon page for the cart, the ball-popper toy there is a HUGE fan favorite in our house.
Anyway, seems that tartlette has passed the night waking back to moxette. Up every hour last night. Mostly fussy and chit-chatty with her bunny, but a shitty night's sleep none-the-less. This morning, a crabby pants. At least she's at daycare and having fun now, though. We had our check-in on the ears at the Dr. this morning, and man-o, you'd think he was pulling her ears OFF the way she was screaming. Then stopping and looking at me, then screaming again. Yep, us moxie gals have a dramatic streak.
Mar 2 2007, 10:13 AM
That table looks like fun, Mox! We're looking at building a rice table when Tartlet's a bit older, like the one in this excellent book
. I really like the idea of making it portable, so we can put it in the basement when it's rainy, or bring it out in the back yard on sunny days. (Yard! Woohoo!)
Mar 3 2007, 11:08 AM
OMG--he's 17 lbs 9 oz.
My mom's away thru wednesday and I"m exhausted.
Hope to be back to actually converse later.
Mar 3 2007, 08:05 PM
Whoa, baby! Tartlet only just broke 18 pounds, and he's got what, 6 months on NotBob? No wonder you're exhausted! Hang in there, sweetie - just take it one moment at a time, and call up every friend you can for reinforcements...
We had a lovely day at the zoo, wandering around with friends & their 2 kids - one nearly 4, one 1 1/2. Tartlet took it like a pro, and put the other two to shame in the roll-with-the-punches department. These are the folks who are encouraging us to CIO, and it was nice to hear them comment at the end of the day how mellow & happy Tartlet was, and how obviously whatever we're doing is working...
The bebe is in bed, the Mister is out returning the car-share, and I have a big mug of Frangelico-laced hot chocolate that demands my full attention... have a restful night, everyone!
Mar 3 2007, 09:46 PM
I want to poll the moms here: how much help have you gotten from family members? My mom takes my son for 6 hours once a week. (Although these days it's more like twice a month.) Eddie's mom doesn't babysit, and my father and his wife don't. Maybe once in a blue moon, but not much more than 4 hours.
On the one hand, I feel like I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but on the other hand, I kind of feel like families are supposed to help each other out. also, whenever my family wants me to attend one of their little things, they don't understand why we don't have any free time, even though I'm running a business in addition to doing 95% of the housework and watching the kid while my husband's at work.
So how much help have you gotten from your families? (Assuming distance isn't a problem)
Mar 4 2007, 09:03 AM
Busty! (mwah!) I'll remove myself from the equation, since my folks are 680 miles away, but I'll give you a thumbnail of my sister's situation, if it helps. Her mum lives a block away, and takes 4-month-old Ruby every chance she gets - at least 4 or 5 hours every weekend, and now my sister's back at work, I think mum picks Ruby up from daycare every day. My other sister also lives right down the road, and will step in for an hour or two so B can go grocery shopping/clean the studio/go out to dinner with J. Other family is also right in the area, so if they ever needed a weekend away, there's be plenty of people stepping up.
(Call me crazy, but this sounds like too much help. I'm notoriously independent. though, so don't take my reaction as a barometer...)
I know schlepping a kidlet around isn't always easy, but can you accept their invitations & bring the wee one along? I think folks without kids/who haven't had tiny kids around for a long time can really underestimate the amount of energy it takes just to keep up, and seeing you & your husband in action might spur them to step up the help a little (it's worked for us with our child-free friends). I'm tempted to comment more on the household work dynamic between you & your husband, as it sounds out of balance - but not knowing your situation well, I'll leave that element alone...
We're moving back home in a month or so, and I'm curious to see how much familial help filters our way - I've been out of the loop of the daily family dynamic for so long, we're going to be living on the other side of town from everyone else, and I fully expect (hope?) to be left to our own devices most of the time...
Mar 5 2007, 05:37 AM
busty- i'm very open to the discussion, as we're very close geographically to both my and moxieman's folks. I tend to agree with you that families should help out, and like tart's sista...our folks have been lifelines. From week 2 (as soon as I could get out of the house!), my folks and his folks (our siblings, too) have almost vied for time with moxette. I don't know if there is a "regular" schedule, but both our families are very involved, and there's only been once in 11 months where we couldn't find an immediate relative to babysit (and it was an emergency over a holiday weekend...luckily my brother's fiancee was in town!). Moxette is totally comfortable at grandparent's houses, and just waves bye-bye when we leave. New toys, cookies, you know...grandma's house is better!
On the other hand, my cousin and SIL live far away from us, but very close to her parents. Her folks have seen their baby (10 mos old) twice excepting holidays since he was born. They're just "busy." Asshats, I say.
Now, what to do about it? Say you can't go to family gatherings b/c you're busy with your work and the baby. If they push, say "Dad (mom, whatever), can you watch eddie for a few hours the day before, so I can get XYZ done? Then, we'll definitely have the time to come." Not snarky, just a request.
So, farking teeth. The top ones aer finally pushing through. She's been down right biatchy for 3 days now, and we're delighted that we got a glimpse of the tooth yesterday. I mean, fussy b/c of teeth, sucks, but we can handle. We were actually worried b/c we weren't sure why she was crabby pants central. Now, the hylands, motrin and frozen fruit are on the move! Oh! we tried mango this weekend...a TOTAl hit! Tart- I get what you mean now by the smoker's hack/drool cough. I think there must be more drool with the top teeth...
ok, i HAVE to work. Bog project due this week...gotta jet. *MWAH*
Mar 5 2007, 08:00 AM
(Ooo, bog project, Mox? I'm envisioning you in hip-waders and a sensible sweater...
I really think our kids must be on the same subscription plan, Mox - we have 2 top teeth poking out as of this weekend! The frozen stuff doesn't go over very well, but cold chunks of watermelon were just the ticket. Has Moxette been a snot fountain, as well? It's like a faucet around here.
Mar 5 2007, 08:46 AM
Thanx for the input. I get sort of frustrated sometimes, because my mom complains that I spend too much time on my business (usually when she calls me with something she thinks I should do, like read the 40 year old parenting manual she gave me to 'help'). My mother in law complains that she doesn't see the baby enough, so she drops by unnannounced sometimes (usually during his nap, and I'll be damned if I'm going to wake a 1 1/2 year old after only a half hour of sleep.). This is after Eddie's uncle intimated to us that the reason we couldn't get her on the phone near Xmas was because she was dodging what she assumed were requests to babysit.
So of course, the families want to see the baby, but they want to do so with us in tow, and they just don't get that we are much busier than them.
When I tell my mother I can't do one of her pet projects because of my over-40 hour a week job, she compares it to her part-time volunteer work now that she's retired. She doesn't mean to be irritating, but she just. doesn't. get it.
Mar 5 2007, 10:51 AM
It must be a generation thing, Busty - my mum's the same way, with the pet projects & wanting me to tag along. Mine can't fathom that once we move home, I have absolutely zero time/interest/intention of joining her neighborhood association. Nevermind that we won't be living anywhere near her neighborhood...
Mar 5 2007, 12:48 PM
Argh- that IS irritating busty. Dodging phone calls b/c she thinks you might want a sitter? Then, dropping by and assuming little eddie is ready for grandma? Sheesh.
No snot fountain, yet. We've just been off the latest round of antibiotics for 2 days, though, so I expect the geyser anytime.
Mar 5 2007, 03:29 PM
busty, to weigh in with a more moderate amount of grandparental involvement: we live in the same town as my parents and they are great, but they have rarely babysat at night for us. it just doesn't work for them as they tend to go to sleep at seven p.m., so the few times we've had them do it we just felt bad. my mother has helped out on a regular once a week (usually for three hours) basis since the bean was born, but we do not share mox's never-paid-for-a-babysitter phenom (that's quite a record, mox).
it occurs to me that from the 40 year old parenting manual your mother might be trying to tell you what delusions she was laboring under with you...
ETA: and though my mother has a strong impulse to help me and has frequently rearranged her schedule to do so, she has also not been available at times, despite being retired. i think that's her right. i'm the parent, not her. anything she gives me, i'm grateful for.
my in-laws are a thousand miles away, but they try to visit often...and when they do, they always SAY they're going to help us out, babysit, let us go out, etc., and they never do -- OR the one time we manage to arrange it they're 40 minutes late. yet they still leave town feeling benevolent and beneficent. they mean well, but i'm not sorry they aren't a bigger part of my kid's life. i don't especially want him to grow up a strong "flaky consumerist" influence. in fact, we're thinking seriously of moving far, far away in the next few years, which we haven't yet told them, and they keep saying they're moving here as soon as they retire, and i am failing to feel the slightest bit guilty about it.
Mar 5 2007, 03:34 PM
Yeah, the grandparents keep THANKING us for letting them spend time with the baby! It amazes us. OUr BFFs have the same thing going with their folks. I think we're just very, very lucky.
Mar 5 2007, 08:06 PM
Anoushh!!! 17 pounds!!!!! Chaniboy hasn't hit 22 yet! You've GOT to post pics, as I am sure the pudge is sooo cute! I'm glad Cboy is such a skinny runt, as it makes carrying him around actually feasible these days (he's 50th centile for height and eats well, so our GP isn't concerned). We're officially term - 37.3 today and all is well, so now it's just a waiting game.
He has finally decided to walk, crazy kid. The cuteness of his stiff little penguin walk is just KILLING me, but I'm sure another 2 or 3 days and he'll look like a pro. He's got damn good timing!
Mar 6 2007, 08:49 AM
Yeah, he's 75 percentile for height and 90th for weight.
We gave him two small feedings of rice cereal yesterday--first solid food.
He slept for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT. Of course, I didn't and I'm exhausted.
I shouldn't have stayed up to watch Heroes. It wasn't very good anyway.
Btw, I have an gyno appt March 20th. I hope (she's on call that day. Otherwise if I'd taken a regular appt I'd have had to wait until mid may. And I get to pay for it. Isn't American health care the best?)
Boy's fussing and I'm totally on my own until tomorrow. Yikes.
Mar 6 2007, 11:14 AM
anoushh, hurrah for sleeping!
i just have to add the weight/height discussion: my boy is in the eighth percentile for weight!
he's consistently in the 8th for weight and the 40th-60th for height. his top was 75th for height, eighth for weight.
our ped isn't worried either, but i was a little concerned because all the other kids at daycare are so much chubbier (it's pronounced) and taller (mostly). the ped just looked at me and said "look at his parents!" so i checked this chart (http://www.halls.md/chart/height-weight.htm) and discovered that i am in the 20th percentile for weight and the 97th for height for a woman my age (a rough approximation as they separate stats on race and i'm mixed). his father is in the 27th for weight and 75th for height.
maybe i'll worry that the bean is too short in a few years, but probably he'll catch up.
i think it's interesting that people are often happier with bigger numbers when the height/weight percentiles just mean "relative to other children that age." (and of course most people want smaller numbers in adulthood.)
Mar 6 2007, 11:31 AM
gren, that chart is super cool. I am just under 50th% weight, and just over 50% height. Just as I thought, totally average. Moxieman, too. At her last appt, moxette was 97 height and 85 weight...she was steady at 90 for both until her 9month. I think she'll be back around that for the 12 month, then level off a bit. I suspect the early "jump" in height/weight ratio is the use of formula more than breastmilk...i think breastmilk probably allows the baby to grow at whatever rate he/she is genetically supposed to grow at, whereas the formula is kind of a "jump start" that evens out once regular diet is established. I say this b/c based solely on my observations of kids I know, mine included. I had forgotten that my kid was a HUGE bebe until I held my nephew who is 2 months older for the first time at christmas and realized moxette outweighed and was taller than him!
Mar 6 2007, 11:42 AM
I'm actually pretty freaked out about it.
I"m trying not to panic. I'm big, but his dad is skinny and tall, so we'll see.
I'm a bit baffled about the whole solid foods thing, too.
Mar 6 2007, 11:46 AM
yeah, i like charts. i was so happy to find that one as it's hard to find percentile charts for adults.
there is a girl at daycare who weighs around 40lb - nearly twice the bean. she's supercute, but such a chunker. of course we're talking about walking kids here...they tend to be thinner, and this kid's parents are both pretty big too. I did read that the charts have some use in predicting risks of obesity, NOT that anyone should get het up about that this early.
i was not a particularly tall child, just usually slightly above average. and i'm not supertall now, just taller than most. so i think the bean will catch up. he does have uncharacteristically (in my family) short legs though. little monkey legs.
ETA: anoushh, freaked out about weight of notbob or about sleeping for eight hours or about solid food?
let me tell you a story: my sister is 5'3 and weighs maybe 125. her kid was TWENTY-ONE LB. at EIGHT WEEKS (exclusively breastfed). he was forty pounds at a year. we used to call him "michelin baby." apparently, his father was also extremely fat as a small child (but thin as an adult).
the michelin baby is now 3.5 and STILL weighs 40-45 lb. and is quite tall for his age. so it's okay.
my sister is a crazy person sometimes, but she has excellent eating habits (no processed, no junk, no hormone/antibiotic laden meat, no refined sugar or grains). i really think it's all about eating habits. maybe your body type's a little zaftig or maybe it's thin, but there's a wide range of healthy as long as you teach your kid the right way to eat -- and model it. this is something i'm working on right now because 1)the mister has shit eating habits (indulging in frozen pizza, thinks IT IS OKAY TO HAVE CHIPS IN THE HOUSE !!!, etc.) and 2)i tend to metabolize everything in 2 sec. and to make up for it by eating huge amounts of chocolate. as in, i'll eat a very healthy moderate diet of brown rice, veggies, tofu, pasta, etc. and then mow through an entire whitman's sampler in a half-day to maintain energy. i'm trying to figure out how to cut the junk while maintaining the caloric intake - it's tough, but i do NOT want to have a kid who eats frozen pizza and whitman's samplers all day!
Mar 6 2007, 12:13 PM
annoush, when we were at the same place with moxette, i freaked out. I asked the doc whether we should worry about her chunky-chunkyness, and his reply: "When she is 1 year old, if she is SO fat she cannot walk, we'll worry. Until then, buy bigger clothes and enjoy her." Right-o. I can't believe notbob is already eating solids! Holy moly!
And, speaking of pizza, that is moxette's new food for the day: Pizza. She's had all the other elements of it...bread, sauce, cheese...now we try them togehter. Its OK to have chips in the house, so long as moderation is used when consuming them. THat's what I'm gonna try to get accross...generally balanced, moderate diet, and to enjoy food.
Mar 6 2007, 12:22 PM
Thanks, both of you. You are, as always, stars.
I meant freaked out about his size.
We eat a pretty healthy diet, but I do have a heck of a sweet tooth, I'm afraid. We are vegetarians, too, so I need to make sure I know what to do about that for his diet. I'm not too worried about that bit, though.
I'm just baffled about how much to feed him, how often, when to add other foods, everything.
I'm thinking about changing peds, too. I liked this one a lot when I met him, but now that the baby is here, I'm not quite as thrilled. Nothing huge but I just don't feel totally comfortable with him. I'm thinking about another one who's been writing some very interesting articles for the paper, if he's not totally booked--and if he takes not-bob's state health insurance.
Again, thanks. I'm trying to stay calm. the mister told me I was getting paranoid when I confessed my fear of Prader Willi syndrome. I agreed (i'm a bit paranoid, not delusional), but it was the truth.
Mar 6 2007, 12:26 PM
i am against chips because they represent at least three categories i disagree with:
1)trucked thousands of miles
2)ridiculously high sodium
3)high fat and low nutritionally value, plus usually highly artificial
we do eat locally made corn chips with mexican. but ruffles or doritos? not okay by me. my kid can learn about that crap the same place i did - from all the other kids at school (most of whom, if the tenth reunion was any evidence, now have weight problems).
but serious, anoushh - a pre-walking baby is supposed to be fat! just don't give him doritos Extreme Ranch and you'll be fine.
Mar 6 2007, 03:39 PM
it occurs to me that from the 40 year old parenting manual your mother might be trying to tell you what delusions she was laboring under with you...
Actually, I finally read the damn thing (and by read, I mean chortled in disbelief) and when mom asked what I thought, I said I didn't think it was very helpful or current. She got mad at me and accused me of not giving it a chance because I "don't like listening to experts." I bit my tongue, but I wanted so badly to say that professional male 'experts' from 4 decades ago have less expertise in their whole body than the average homemaker has in their little finger.
If it doesn't make common sense, I don't listen much.
Mar 6 2007, 04:24 PM
OK, We have a quandry in moxieland. The daycare just sent home new regulations (handed down from the state lisc. board) about "food sent by parents." The short and long of it is we can't send anything that needs to be reheated...like leftovers, 1/2 can spaghettios, etc. Jury is still out if flash-frozen foods are on the no-no list too. I get the reason...reheating to 165F is "food safety" and a daycare room doesn't have that capability. Fine. I'm not so much wanting to fight the man (OK, well I am, but don't feel up to it), as figure out what to send for lunches that is safe and age appropriate for a 11-13 month old. Stringcheese and strawberries every day ain't good, right? And babyfood is very close to being totally rejected.
I can send home-made foods (or pre-purchased) that is not to be re-heated...hummus, though, is about all i've come up with. Maybe cream-cheese roll-ups? I know we're all "healthy" foodies (chips disagreement aside) here...any ideas?
Mar 6 2007, 05:08 PM
busty, excuse me for being blunt, but is your mom incredibly narrow-minded about just parenting or is this a global problem? i'm kind of getting the feeling that this is a global problem...in which case i urge you to save your sanity for people who respond to it and activate your internal "la la la" that drowns out all parental din...
or just say, "i understand that we have different views on this, mom, but i love that you cared enough to give me the book, and it was VERY entertaining reading." (snickering to yourself.)
sandwiches cut in tiny squares? peanut butter? egg salad?
cold cuts in small pieces
avocado chunks, melon chunks, soft pear chunks w/skin removed
soft-cooked plain pasta? you can call it "pasta salad" (or actually make it pasta salad) if they kick up a fuss?
rice husks, cakes, crackers?
soft-cooked carrot, squash, sweet potato strips?
muesli with raw oats, raisins (maybe chopped for her if they're big), ground flaxseed? (the bean loves raw oat, don't ask me why)
other bean- and veggie-based dips like tofu dip/tofu 'egg' salad, ful, etc.? or soft-cooked seasoned lentils, chickpeas, potato etc. (how can they claim it "has to be reheated" if you tell them it's "meant to be eaten cold"?
hope this helps...
Mar 6 2007, 06:42 PM
gren- THANKS! I wrote down at least 4 of your suggestions...fruit is a no-brainer...moxette loves it. I am trying hard to giver her a balanced diet, though, so all fruit all day isn't the best option. I love the idea of rice cakes, though! i bet she'd love them!
And as for "cold" foods...all good in the hood. Pasta Salad...OK. Reheated Pasta...not OK. Maybe its time we had pasta salad for dinner again? She's at such a precarious food stage right now...not really eating enough "table food" to be totally regular at it, only 2 teeth (although I think #3 is any minute now...drooling like an english bulldog!), but not really liking baby food anymore. I'd love to send baby carrots and hummus, but i'll settle for hummus and pita.
I think this must be much worse for the pre-school set who only eat 1 thing...
Gren- when did you give the bean peanuts? I thought it was a "2 yr" food?
Tart...any ideas? What is tartlette fond of?
Mar 6 2007, 07:15 PM
i DIDN'T give the bean peanuts! i came to daycare one day and he reeked of peanut butter! then i found out he apparently ate a ton of peanut butter crackers and loved them.
i actually haven't given him peanuts (walnuts, almonds, and hazelnuts, yes), because i'm wimpy plus i think pbj is disgusting, but since we don't eat much meat and he's allergic to dairy (grr, i was so hoping i get him to the tenth percentile with cheese cubes), i haven't discouraged it (i think it must have happened in daycare again, and he loves pad thai). he is 19 months now, and there's no history of peanut allergy on either side.
i guess moxette is a bit young yet for egg salad, but soon. rice cakes are good because they break off into tiny pieces and are hard to choke on.
Mar 7 2007, 09:09 AM
Damn, Gren - given the hideous allergies that are out there, I'm all but horrified that Bean was given peanuts without your knowledge... that could have ended really, really badly if he'd been allergic. Our DCP called me at work one day because Tartlet had swiped a handful of kiwi off another kid's tray - at the time, I thought she was freaky paranoid, but in retrospect she did the smart thing...
That's a tough situation, Mox - am I understanding correctly that they can heat up sealed, jarred stuff, but nothing else? Or is it no heating, period? Either way, here are some ideas, building on Gren's & heavy on the finger food:
Cubes of firm tofu (sounds boring, but he loves it)
Polenta sticks/cubes - you can add shredded veg or a bit of cheese
Strata sticks/cubes (basically savory French toast done in a casserole dish, again with veg/cheese options)
Roasted/steamed veggies (you could do the baby carrots this way)
Finger sandwiches (crusts off, cut in cubes with cream cheese/hummus/mashed bananas)
Veggie Booty/rice cakes/freezedried fruit & veg
Finger jello made with unsweetened juice (we'll be trying this again over the weekend, I think)
Melon balls (this week's big hit)
Fresh mozzerella bits
Smoothies in a sippycup (yoghurt & fruit whizzed in the blender, maybe add some flaxseed/tofu for protein)
Tartlet's still doing a lot of purees, but is slowly amping up his texture tolerance, so we'll be exploring a lot of the above in the weeks to come. This week's brainstorm to use up the Box of Rice Cereal that Wouldn't Die - rice cereal + warm coconut milk + cinnamon = rice pudding!