Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: The Hip Momma: Ga-Ga-Oh-My-Gawd!!!
The BUST Lounge > Forums > Let's Talk About Sex
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44
Count us in on the teething bus, Mox - Tartlet was Senor Crankypants all yesterday afternoon, gnawing on me & anything else he could sink his sharp little gums into... The worst was trying to nurse while writhing in pain & frustration. We went straight for the Tylenol, as he hadn't napped all afternoon & was just desperately tired. Poor kid. He finally went down 2+ hours after his usual bedtime, but slept through til almost 4am & seems much happier this morning.

"Self", huh? I'm sure I left it around here somewhere... I'd more or less written off my personal life for the first 3 months, save for trips to the coffee shop/grocery store/yoga studio. Now I'm back at work, I have all day to fuck around on the Internet & speak in complete sentences. Tartlet's down by 8 just about every night, so we have something of an evening... Thing is, my priorities have shifted so much since the wee one was born, a lot of what I used to spend time & effort on has fallen by the wayside. Nowadays I'm happy to spend the evening working on a baby blanket for my sister & turning in by 9:30 - woohoo, party time, eh? Weekends are a bit better, but the bake-a-thons I used to have are just not practical anymore, and I'm more inclined to spend any Tartlet-free time just getting the house back in some semblance of order.

I do worry sometimes that I'm getting sucked into the void, but I try to remind myself that this is the most labor-intensive stage of Tartlet's life - in a few years, he'll want to do things on his own, and I'll be wishing for the days when he was tiny & wanting to be held all the time.
Oh, I agree with "self" not necessairly meaning the same as it did pre-moxette. I'm really happy if I can have 10 minutes to chop veggies for dinner in quiet, or 15 min to run to the store alone. Little breaks, I guess. The theatre group I belong to actually asked me to DIRECT a show this year...haha! I told them "no," obviously, but that after moxette's 1st b-day, i'm looking to come back.

I do still watch my tv shows (ok, just re-runs of Star Treks...) and such, but moxette likes the tv noise, so we either play and watch, or i get her to nap with the tv on...bad mom, i know. But, hey, whatever works, works, right?

Tart- we gave moxette a wet washcloth to suck on...boy does she loves that, especially at bathtime. kid sucks like there's no tomorrow!
On that note

Not quite what I had in mind, certainly intentionally inflammatory, but nonetheless, one or two valid points are hiding in there amongst the abject narcissism...
OK, so this writer, is the "um, why did you have kids at all?" type, but tart, there are a couple good points.

1. "To admit that you, a mother of the new millennium, don't find your offspring thoroughly fascinating and enjoyable at all times is a state of affairs very few women are prepared to admit. We feel ashamed, and unfit to be mothers."
-Yes, yes, yes. One of moxieman's co-workers just had his second child. When moxieman asked him what he and his wife realized was different btn #1 and #2, the co-worker replied: "Well, we knew the first 3 or 4 months was more like having cute furniture with #2." Good friends T&A (yes, that's really their intials!), have a 2 year old. Mom-A said "I did not ENJOY (as oppose to love or care for) kidJ until he ws about a year old. I needed thearapy to be ok with that." I personally love the "grandparent" afternoons when I can have my house and my husband to myself. Even if its just an time is good for the bebe, and a lifesaver for me.

2. "trouble for a mother like me is that not being completely and utterly enthralled with, dedicated to and obsessed with one's children is a secret guarded, if not until death, then until someone else confesses first."
-See above.

And a big point of contention:

3. "many women have spent years studying and then working so that we would not have to do a job as menial as full-time motherhood."
-being a full time mom isn't menial...its unpaid. Without vacations. Not the same thing.
Oh yeah, Mox, I totally agree that she voices some very unpopular, but valid points. Specifically, the bullshit of that whole "never say die" aspect of mothering - never let them see you sweat, as it were. As if admitting mothering is hard/messy/unglamorous/tedious is somehow admitting defeat. As usual, if we as women would stop fronting with each other & be honest, we could get on with things & get a lot more done in this world.

That said, karma dictates the original author will be dumped into a retirement home & her sons will be far too busy to come & visit & listen to her ramblings...
because, its "boring" to go visit mum. smile.gif
Motherhood is hard. The long hours, the no pay, the expectation that you as the woman will come to the rescue more than your equally able partner, the less sex, the body changes, the being constantly around another person. Not to mention the end of tiny fashionable purses (thank god the fashion changed this year!) and sexy heels.

Then again, it's also fascinating and fulfilling in good measure.

We should be able to share all of it, and not be ashamed. After all, it's the truth.

I originally came here to say that it was little Eddie's 1st birthday last wednesday. How freakish is it that this year has gone by already?
WOW! Congratulations bustygirl! I remember being all jealous when we were TTC. smile.gif

How did the photo contest go? LIttle Eddie is a cutie pie (new 1 year old pics??) and deserves every vote he got!
um, new mom question here...moxette started solid foods this weekend. Rather successfully, too. Anyway, the last couple days, she's been a pisser to get milk into. We're just feeder her the solids once a day...after she has her 5ish milk. i can understand bedtime, maybe she still has full belly, but at 5 AM? I'm tempted to pull back on the solids for a while...anyone else have this issue? Suggestions?
Sorry, Mox, no help here... The only thing I will say is that our ped is adamant about not pushing solids til Tartlet's at least 6 months. Mostly it's for food allergy concerns, but she also said that it can throw off their eating & sleeping cycles if started too early... how much are you giving her? I read somewhere that it shouldn't be more that 1-2 teaspoons at first. This is all, of course, pure speculation on my part... let us know how things progress.

Tartlet survived his first evening babysitter with (almost) flying colors. She said he got really cranky just after we left & wouldn't eat at first. He finally calmed down, took 1 oz of formula (as opposed to his usual 5-6)& crashed. He didn't wake up til 4 hours later, just before we got home. So she got lots of knitting done happy.gif

Aaaand, running late for work paid off this morning - I was witness to a full barrel-roll! Back to tummy to back, with a minimum of fuss & no intervention beyond getting blankets out of his way. He even did a push-up, the show-off. This is Big News, as Tartlet's been notoriously resistant to any kind of tummy time. I think he just needed to get there himself... Hm. Sounds familiar. The karma fairly clearly has a sense of humor.

Happy birthday, Eddie!
Tart- a FULL BARREL ROLL! WOW! Moxette also HATES belly time, but can't help the rolling anymore. She used to go 3/4 way, stop herself and roll back, but her legs have too much momentum now. hehe.

Anyway, the ped. said basicaly what you just said, which is also what i thought. He said wait a couple weeks, try again. Not to worry about solids being "diet" until 6 mos at least. All experiment until then. So, i cut the solids, and she's her usuall giggly self.

Ahhhhh! I love my SIL's cutsie pie hair!! I want to run my fingers through it and go mohawk time. Gah!

Oh, how did YOU survive the first evening babysitter? Hopefully with flying colors too!
I was really, really good - I didn't call her once. She's an old friend, so it wasn't as weird as just handing him off to some random co-ed. I was readly to exPLODE by the time I got home, though - I just couldn't see sneaking off to pump in the middle of a rock show...

So what did you start Moxette on, in the way of solids? Cereal? A friend suggested sweet potato & avocado - she thinks a lot of kids reject cereal because it's so blah compared to milk... This appeals to my notion of raising a mini gourmand...

We'll see if the rolling continues - he did a back-to-belly roll a month ago & got us all excited... then didn't want anything to do with it again until today. Stinker.
We started her on rice cereal mixed with formula (try with EBM...he might like it better). She does not "mind" that, but i wouldn't go so far as to say enjoys it either. Tuesday, we added sweet potato. Whoa! eating moster. She loved them. They're sweet afterall. So, if she eats really good today, i may just give her some potato...there's 1/2 a thingy left in the fridge. I plan to make her food, once she gets to "Stage 2"...i don't think any blender or food processor could quite get the absolute puree that is stage 1 foods.
Try banana - it tastes a lot like breastmilk and it's still one of chanibaby's fav foods!
CB is almost 12 mo (corrected) and one of my big hassles has been which foods are "allowed" at which time. Everybody seems to have a different list of allergen containing foods and I'm not convinced that there is good evidence that waiting really does decrease the risk of allergy development. Last year's study looking at kids born into homes with cats actually showed that they had FEWER pet allergies later on (unless their family had a strong allergy history).
One book says they can eat mangos, another says not. One person says no seafood until 1 year, another says 3 years. Heinz labels their apple/strawberry puree as "6 months" but most sources say no strawberries for 1 year.....FOR GOODNESS SAKES, can we get some consensus here?!
I've pretty much decided that he's one year old, I'm not going to play food police any more and I'll deal with the guilt later if it turns out badly!
It is now 3:05 am and I am sitting on the downstairs couch. Noofling has decided that she wants to play and/or have one of us lie down with her, in the middle of the night, EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. This episode started at midnight. I have finally had enough - I'm pregnant, I'm exhausted, and I can't keep up this late-night entertainment, so I've been marching her back to her room. Every five mintues. For three hours. She has howled, kicked, and smacked me so hard my glasses flew off, but I am going to stand my ground if it kills me!!
(((((Noof))))) That blows, especially when you're carrying another little one - as if you're not drained enough already. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzPeaceful sleep vibes for the Nooflingzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tartlet's been a right pisser today - between more teething & what I'm thinking is a 4-month growth spurt, he's been clingy & whiny & restless all day. We've been dosing him with Tylenol & Hylands, nursing him every 2 hours or so, carrying him around in the wrap, co-napping... Tartman's just put him in the stroller for a nice long walk so I can get a few moments to myself. I can hear Tartlet all the way down the block... poor kiddo sad.gif

Hi babies!

ETA: Tartlet's grown out of his 0-3 month gear, and we don't have any boy babies on the horizon around here. If anyone knows of a mama who might appreciate a big sack o' clothing (smoke/pet-free home, washed in ALLClear, mostly onesies & stuff), let me know - I'd rather pass it on to someone who I know needs it than just dump it at the charity shop...

On the solids, our ped. had a pretty rigid schedule of introducing solids, and I really liked it. He had me introduce one single-ingredient food at a time, building up one teaspoon per day over the course of a week. We introduced each new food that way, and eventually started combining foods into "meals." He also had an order--cereals first, followed by white-yellow-orange vegetables, then white-yellow-orange fruits (except the allergy ones), then green vegetables, then other colors of fruits. He had us save strawberries, pineapple, tomato, citrus (basically, the acidic stuff), dairy, peanuts and wheat until after 18 mos.

moxie, I grew and pureed all of tot3's food--I found the small food processor did the job just fine. I made sure the foods were well-cooked and added water to get a fine enough puree. I also did bigger batches in the big food processor--it produced a nice, fine puree, as well. I would freeze portions in ice-cube trays & then pop them out into zip-loc bags.
Yeah, i think we just need to wait out a slightly stubborn period...she's still a bit pissy with her bottle, wanting to control the feeding. Normal, but we can't quite risk her refusing her real nutrition just yet. So, we wait...we got through rice cereal and sweet potatoes. The Dr. said rice cereal (or oats or barely, when we get there) at each feeding, then one new food every 3-4 days. Then, we can combine at will. So, we know rice and sweet potatoes are "ok". WHen we go back, i'll probably go to carrots. I have a BAD seafood allergy, but other than that, no food restrictions in our gene pool.

Tart- good luck! It only lasts a couple days, maybe a week. I promise. Also, try gripe water...old Indian remedy for everything that ills a has fennel and corriendar, i think which sooths.
Buh. We got soooooo spoilt. One rough night & I'm just useless today. The whine/cling/fuss routine continued for most of the evening, with wake-ups very uncharacteristically at 10 & midnight. I just brought him in with us for the rest of the night, and he was fidgety & fussy even cuddled up on the boob. I ended up getting up at 5 & walking him around a bit. He finally crashed hard when I nursed him post-shower - when I left the house, he was a tiny stripey splat in the middle of our bed happy.gif

We'll give the gripe water a go tonight - thanks for the tip, Mox.

i forgot...the best place to find it near you is probably somewhere on devon street...we went to the local indian grocer...
No worries - I snagged a bottle a few weeks ago at the natural foods shop down the road. So far, we've just used it for car trips - it seems to help the spitting up & fussiness. Will report back tomorrow...
I can't decide if this is utterly creepy or utterly brilliant... I think it's the tagline that gets me.

Back to your regularly scheduled day...
I vote creepy--but hilarious!
So, how many of us are "gatekeepers"? Willingly, knowingly or not?,...1219962,00.html
Eeeep. unsure.gif Yeah, this sounds a little familiar.

When men walk into a room, the women say, they are not naturally observant of what needs to be done. Rather, they wait to be told. "Why do I always have to point it out to him?" complained one frustrated mom. "Sometimes it's just easier to do it myself."

This has been the one & only source of friction in our relationship, both before & after Tartlet was born. I blame my mum, for raising me to be aggressively self-sufficient, and Tartman's mum, for raising him to look to the resident authority to make a decision. Tartman is in awe of my mothering ability, and gets frustrated at his own attempts. He frequently gives up & hands a wailing Tartlet to me when his attempt to comfort isn't immediately successful. The fact that I have the Magic Boobies & apparently endless depths of patience & back strength only reinforces this. Tartman often seems to think that I have some sort of esoteric knowledge of "what to do", so he looks to me for answers, and because I'm an over-read, hyper-analytical dork, I can usually come up with something. And since I can see his frustration mounting, I frequently step in in an attempt to take the immediate pressure off him.

We had a rough patch a few weeks ago where I was being consulted for every. little. thing. from what Tartlet should wear to what we should have for dinner to what we should watch on TV to if we should do a load of laundry. All valid, legitimate concerns, but I finally had to tell him I didn't give a rats ass, that whatever he decided really was fine & I wasn't going to second-guess him.

If anything, I think I was a pretty serious GateKeeper long before Tartlet was born, and am now trying to cast off that mantle with mixed results. Good article, Moxie - it's really got me thinking, and I want to see what Tartman has to say about it later on today...

Tartlet had his 4-month check-up today - my little chubber's almost 14 pounds! No wonder my back's been stiff these past few weeks! Still sporting the cranky fussy pants, but when he's not actively whining he's laughing his ass off, so it's not so bad. Apparently, Tartman's the Funniest Thing Since Sliced Bread...

(speaking of, Tartman read the Gatekeeper article and replied that he was relieved we never had that kind of dynamic in our relationship. Huh. Guess I'm not nearly the beeyotch I thought I was.)
you want a chubbette...moxette was 15lbs, 1 oz at her 4 mos checkup. I've got a gigantor bebe. She's a puddle of cuddles lately, though...and has figured out "peekaboo" which cracks her shit up. I love this mom stuff! Even at the occasional 3am "I'm PISSED MOM" cryfests.
No worries, Mox, if he's anything like his dad, your future SIL will be a big fan of the more voluptuous female form... laugh.gif
Noofling was a little chubbalump until she started walking. Now she is a skinny stick, except for her adorable toddler tummy.

*waves to mamas*
at the 90% height and weight (at 2 and 4 mos), our doctor and nurse both said she was perfectly proportional and growing just right (as in consistently). I asked when we should get nervous about her being "too big" (like a giant or something!), and the nurse said: when she's so fat, she can't walk...we'll talk. HEHE! My girl's a stong little lady, and is eating just what a 4/5 month old should...she's just early grower. I think its awesome! A skinny baby strikes me as fragile...even when they're not.

Noof! How's 2.0 cooking? So glad to see you!!
BUMP...the bebe bump!
Dance, do your dance, do the BUMP...

Those new pictures of Moxette are so cute! What a sweetie... How does she like the exersaucer thingy? Tartlet's all about standing up now, and I'm thinking he might enjoy something like that where he can rest his legs if he needs to but still stay upright...

So we took the fuzzy monkey for a real live haircut last weekend... A haircut! At 4.5 months! WTF?! It was just getting too scraggly & he was pulling on it while nursing & getting waaaay distracted. He looks like such a little man now, it kills me. He's started to enjoy being just cuddled, and makes the best little chirps & meows when he's nestled up on my shoulder... What a honey. I understand now why they call this stage the Love Affair - I'm just useless if Tartlet's in the room... wub.gif

So much for maintaining my cool aloofness...
she LOVES the exersaucer. Its the best way to get her to spend 10 mintes playing by herself. She ignores us totally if we try to interact with her while she's playing in it. 10-15 min at a time is about what she can take...then she gets tired. But, you know how much can get done in 10 min?!?


We've reintroduced the solids. Boy, waiting the month really eased the way. After a couple days of "phew, mom, what's this crap?" she's doing SO good. Loves the carrots, hates peas (and, i can't blame her!), diggin on the cereal. Only slightly more gassy, too. Life lesson: trust one's instincts.
Scroll to the bottom for Tartlet turning a barbershop full of Macho Men into little gooey puddles:

Tartlet's photos

Yay solids! We're going to wait til after we get back from a flight home to PA in mid-September - one milestone at a time...
oh good lurd! i'll never get any work done with you two posting pics of those adorable young'ins!

tart, he seems much older than 4 months to me. he's got such a great face! it's like a little boy face on a baby body.

way too cute.

Stupid people. Bump-a-rumping the real Hip Mama thread...

PS - Aw, thanks, FJ - it's hard sometimes to remember how tiny he really is.
I've never seen a blondie with so much hair! That barbershop pic is priceless!!
Little Eddie is walking now. He started 3 days ago, and has been getting better ever since.

This is what he has to say about it: jyybggt g gggggggggggggggggggg77777777777775fcccccc7hhhhhhy66666666

Hey, he still spells betters than the trolls.
farmgirl! I haven't been posting a lot lately either, so I'm glad to have caught your post below but also sad because I love your posts. Good luck and hope to catch you when you get back.

Bodge is eight months old now. In the past couple of weeks she has started crawling and pulling herself up on furniture to navigate around rooms. Holy shizzit, batman.

She's also got a couple of teeth (lower bottom front) ... and has started biting me. Luckily it seems that it only happens if she is overtired or wound up. Still - not pleasant, not at all. Anyone have advice on this?
(((((chini!!))))) I still poke my head in every now and then, but that will stop in two weeks when I leave for S. A. I'll be gone for two months. (!) I can't believe your little one is already 8 mos. old! It seems like you just got knocked up yesterday! Life changes when they get mobile, doesn't it? As for the biting, I found the "no reaction" reaction worked best for me. I would just dislodge them (with a firm thumb to the chin or lower gums) and try not to make a funny face--if they got a funny reaction out of me (even a pained one), they were more likely to try to make it happen again. If they bit again after being dislodged once, that meant that boob session was done--matter-of-factly dislodge tot, close shirt, and move on to something else.

And Little Eddie's walking! Time passes much too quickly!
FG- you're going for two months, eh? Same village as last time? How exciting!! I wish your tots could join you- what an enriching experience that would be.

ok, off to battle the cold-that-time-forgot. Otherwise known as: this week in daycare.
moxie, Yeah, two months. I'm all kinds of freaked out. My mom's coming up again to help with the tots, thank Galileo. They will go with me someday--I just want tot3 to grow out of her pulmonary issues before I take her. Actually, tot1 was gestated there, and we took him back when he was 13 mos. and I was 7 mos. along with tot2. He doesn't remember, though...

Good luck with the cold! I hope it gets better!
Ugh. I think we have that cold. Little Eddie started, then I got it, then Papa. Sniffles and snuffles and achy throats all round. But not sick enough to relax. sad.gif
Add us to the snot wagon... Tartlet's been up every 2 hours or so for 3 nights in a row, coughing & snorgling & wheezing, poor kid. Usually I just do saline up the nose & leave it at that, but last night we had to bring out the Archnemesis, the Bulb Syringe - I try to make something of a game of it, but my ruse was quickly seen through & Tartman had to be enlisted for a bit of restraining. How to explain it to one so tiny... "Mama & Daddy love you sooooo much, we're going to squirt salt water up your nose, folllowed by a big blue rubber thing that'll suck your brain out! And Daddy will pin your arms down, and Mama will get you in a headlock! See how much we love you?"

Tonight's bath will be extra steamy, with some teatree/eucalyptus goop, followed by a liberal slathering of BabyVicks and a nice long cuddle. I dunno what Tartlet's got planned blink.gif

Chini, I deal with biting by smushing his face into my breast firmly enough that he unlatches to get a breath - that way he can't take a chunk of me with him, and he (hopefully) learns that biting doesn't get him any more milk. If he does it more than 2 or 3 times, though, the milk bar closes up - either he's not hungry & is just messing about, or he's uncomfortable & needs a burp & a walkabout to move some gas along.

Everyone's kiddos are getting so big! We took the bassinette out of the P&P last weekend - it was getting to be more of a hammock than anything - and are looking at exersaucers... We were given a brand new highchair from one of our neighbors - a pricey Primapappa that never got used (!) - it's beginning to feel like we have a child now, not just a lumpy little schneeb.

tart- go to a local 2nd hand store for the exersaucer. New, they're like 80-100 bucks. At the OUAC near us, we got one for $25. The seat's a little frayed, but moxette could care less. smile.gif Its our savior during dinner time.

So, the little one tried hard to crawl last night. and drank out of a sippy cup. Tart, i think you hit the nail on the head. Its a child we have living with us. What fun!
OK, so I'd assume most of us busties are pretty food knowledgeable. Buy organic when we can, local growers, healthy portions, etc. And, I'd assume we also want to pass those habits down to our kidlets. All wonderful. Then, I read this article. All about the tension for childcare givers (nannies, babysitters) who give a kid a random snack that's not "approved" (like a random Happy Meal), and the hoopla that ensues. I know that juice and mcanything and chocholate and stuff are not ever day-to-day things for a well balanced diet. But seriously? I'm never going to reprimand my mother for giving moxette a cookie. Or the daycare for giving animal crackers to cranky-ass 1 year olds.

There is a limit to parental control, right?
Gads. It's one thing if your child has genuine, wellness-threatening allergies, or is borderline ADHD & is set off by sugar/red dye/nitrates... It's one thing to set up guidelines for your child's diet with your CCP... It's one thing to step up when grandma's giving your 4-month-old gobs of icing off her birthday cake...

But seriously, people. It's just food. If only people were in such a flap over bucket-baby syndrome/the staggering lack of quality affordable healthcare in this country/the overscheduling of schoolage children.

The armchair psychologist in me suspects that enforcing so much control over their children's diets is compensating for their lack of control in other areas of their lives... /$.02
here! here! sista! moxieman and i have decided that of all the battles we will fight with moxette, food is not one of them. Sure, she may pick the fight...but she'll eat when she's hungry, and we'll model good food habits, and eventually, she'll figure it out. Food is a happy, joyous part of life. Ho-Ho's especially!

off to make veggie stirfry with brown rice now...
Sorry to crash the mom thread, but I have a question/issue (you gals are welcome in the CBC thread anytime!)-

One of Le Boy's friends wives is pregnant and she's doing cloth diapers. Okay. I think the environmental argument is debateable, and the convenience (or lack thereof) is certainly an issue, but whatever. However, I found out another reason she's going with cloth- she thinks that disposable diapers are too "comfortable" and don't give the kid any reason to become potty trained, thereby causing "3-5 years olds to still be in diapers." Huh? I say sitting in your own waste is sitting in your own waste and the kid is going to potty train whenever they're good and ready. Not having kids of my own, I could be completely wrong (wouldn't be the first time!) What do you ladies think?
Hiya, Polly!

Yeah, that's not an uncommon theory re: diapers, though to be thinking about it NOW is a little, uh, forward-thinking. The idea is that disposables these days are supersuper absorbent, and that it's very hard for a tot to tell if they're wet or not, thereby making it harder/less motivating for them to self-potty train. They make trainer diapers specifically with less absorption for this very reason. (If your friend's wife's theory was true, we'd have several generations of kindergarteners still in diapers...)

Honestly, I wouldn't sweat her potty-training ideas too much - I had all kinds of fabulous parenting theories that went out the window the minute we brought Tartlet home. (Cry it out! Feed & sleep on a schedule! Absolutely no formula!) When you're preggers, you tend to read waaay too many books and have the whole thing planned out to the Nth degree, forgetting entirely that babies are brought into this world to rain chaos down on the heads of their parents & school us out of thinking we have to have control over everything in our lives.

((((Big hugs to Moxlette & her battle with the Cold from Hell))))
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2016 Invision Power Services, Inc.