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You know, notbob sleeps fine most of the time (once I get him to sleep, which can be a challenge) if I just let him sleep with me. I wish I didn't feel so conflicted about it. Lately it's been up every hour until I give in.

Also, wtf is up with my dad, who feels compelled to cut notbob's hair w/o our permission (and against our wishes).

The last time I tried to make a bit of a joke about it but also tried to make it clear I didn't want him to. This time I made it VERY clear and I was presented as the unreasonable one. Unfortunately after being harrangued with this (and I was trying to leave the room) I lost my temper and yelled "shut up!" as I left. This, of course, feeds into my parents desired role for me of being the overly emotional and unreasonable one. Yeah, I'm so unreasonable that I don't want you interfereing with my child without my permission. And what's with this pervasive desire to cut bits off of him? Of course then I got the "Fine--I won't help with anything" routine. You want to help? I can think of about a million things that I could use help with before cutting off his hair.

Poor notbob now looks a bit dorky with his weird hair, to make it even worse. Gorgeous dorky, of course, but still.

M and I both feel that dad was anxious b/c he thought it was looking too "girlie." Which made both of us want to not only grow his hair out even more, but to go out and buy him pink tights or something that I wouldn't actually buy a girl if I had one. He protested to M that it was "only a little bit" and "it was sticking out."

which is 1) not the fucking point and 2) so what?
ouf. sorry, anoushh. some people are so ridiculous.

the bean doesn't have the kind of hair that really lends itself to girliness, but i frequently dress him in tights and he has a fabulous set of pink socks -- pink argyle, pink striped, pink hearts -- bought by my mom when i complained that boy socks were always camo and lame. i'm sorry you have to deal with that in your own family.

i had a friend who was a hostess at greens restaurant and she got so fed up with the over-entitled clientele that she used to fantasize about screaming, "find a cure for cancer and shut the !@*&!! up!" that is what i always want to yell at people who want to inflict their narrow-mindedness on my kid, only maybe adjusted to be a bit more topical, like "crochet a diaper cover and shut the @#@@!@!@! up!"


ETA: also, what family doesn't try to force people into the same roles they held as children? my family is classic; i couldn't get their attention if i tried, but it's supposedly a compliment because i'm so 'capable and self-sufficient.' my sister is a trainwreck at least in part because "she's the baby and needs our help!"
You know, I wasn't so impressed with Greens when I finally went. (It was on someone else's expense account, which was appropriate, I think.)

That was years ago. But I understand your friend's frustration, gren. I worked at a bakery in a grocery that was frequented by the type of people who might then go to dinner at Greens. It was constantly an exercise in frustration in so many ways.

Anyway, I'm at my wit's end with notbob and his sleeping--or lack of sleeping. He goes down a lot easier than he used to, usually, but then he wakes up after an hour or so (sometimes less) and takes a long time to go back to sleep. My old standby of laying him back down with pacifier in mouth and patting him no longer seems to do the trick. If I don't pick him up he just gets more and more worked up. He usually wakes up crying, to make it harder. Sometimes it seems very clear he's having night terrors and/or bad dreams, but lately he's just sleeping so poorly. Eventually he'll go back to sleep enough that I can put him down, but it takes ages (45 minutes or so, usually.) Then within another hour we do it all again.

This has only been this bad the last few days. I eventually get fed up and take him into bed with me or I get no sleep at all. Of course, after I went and said he sleeps pretty well with me, now he's not so much. It doesn't seem like he's in pain--or maybe he is. He wakes up crying a lot, though usually settles back down pretty quickly (though agian takes a while to sleep.)

I'm so frustrated, though. This means I don't even have a couple of hours before bed most nights to do stuff I need/want to do. I hope this is a phase. I'm so frustrated.

(He does have very slight cold--I'm hoping maybe that's the cause...)


Ok, I feel a bit better now.

How's everyone else, then?
ah, entitlement. of course some of my favourite places to live are full of it.

anyway, we're fine. miss v is beautiful and laughs a lot. the bean seems (knock wood) to have come to the end of a massive potty-training backslide (when she was born, immediate refusal to use potty, followed by declarations "i'm a baby" and "i want to poop in my diaper.") i'm trying to encourage him to use the potty by mandating only cloth diapers at home (he uses disposables at playschool, as i can't bring myself to inflict the cloth on them). hopefully he'll start progressing again. meanwhile, i was feeling pretty damn sorry for myself for having my single autonomy ripped away, and i think the mister thought i might go off the deep end, but i have now gone to yoga two days in a row and feel OK about life again. so interesting, that.

sorry about the sleeping woes, anoushh. hot water bottle? ticking clock? other simulated company, maybe?

the bean has ALSO been waking up at four or five a.m. claiming his ready to get up; i'm forcing the mister to deal with that. miss v is a dream lately, though -- last night she slept from 8:30 p.m. to 6 this morning. wow.

also, the SIL has arrived and taken up residence in our mother-in-law apartment. she's babysitting fifteen hours per week in exchange, so we're officially very poor, but we get date night. last night we saw "I'm Not There," the bob dylan movie. it was almost baroque in its artifice and confirmed my dislike of heath ledger, who was miscast.

how's everybody else?

anoushh, i'm feeling it too. jackaroo has gotten a tad easier FALLING asleep but then he wakes up an hour later, completely refreshed and ready to play. last night, he went down at about 830, up at 9. down at 10, up at 1am. down at around 1:30, up at 3am. when he wouldn't go back down by 4am, i just took him to bed with me and then he slept, well, like a baby! we even slept in this morning until around 8:15.

he's also taken to late afternoon naps. and when i say late afternoon, i guess i mean early evening because he is currently sleeping and it's 6:20pm. but he hasn't napped well today and i know if i don't let him sleep now, he'll be too tired to go down later and then we'll have a crankster.

just an aside: i don't think i told you guys about his love for all things coldplay though... i found by accident that playing coldplay (the scientist to be precise) is an immediate cure for crying. when we first discovered it several weeks ago, we also found that it helped him fall asleep. it was like magic. it's started to lose its luster now, although it's still the absolute final straw go-to when 11pm rolls around and he's still awake or agitated (swing + shhhhh + scientist = snores). honestly, four or five chords and the kid is quiet, as if in deep thought or entranced by the music. it's perfect for the car (which is where i discovered it in the first place) when he's in the back and i can't soothe him. it just doesn't necessarily make him sleep anymore. maybe he's just on to us. which is fine because i'm starting to tire of coldplay.

anyway, i just keep thinking of what moxie always says in these situations: this too shall pass... i'm sure it's a phase and we'll all get some good sleep in about seventeen and a half years...

but damn do i love this kid. i was watching him while he slept this morning. his sweet little face up close to mine, feeling his little breaths, smelling him. ah! i must be crazy to find myself wanting another already because my little booger is getting so big.

wait. did i say 17 and 1/2 years?


annoush and FJ- your kidlets are at serious "WIDE AWAKE" ages in all SHALL PASS. I say this, after being up every.hour.onthe.hour last night. I only went in once to check on moxette, but her fussing keeps me UP too. But, today, she has just been a wonderful little girl to spend time with. I do remember that moxette from ages 4-12 mos was on a 3-nap day schedule pretty regularly...45 min in the early (10ish) morning, 1 hour mid-day (1.25 hour if we were lucky) and 1 hour in the early evening. Then, to bed around 9ish. Once we dropped the evening nap and got mid-day to closer to 2 hours, we're doing bed at 8pm...oh wait, that's now...

So, we have hit a big-time milestone here - Symbolic play. I almost cried, seriously, when she spent 30 olid minutes giving her baby doll a bath, new diapy, PJs and to bed the other night. We're using christmas as a great excuse to get toys that encourage the symbolic play - oplay kitchen, doll house, etc. I'm so excited by this! We;'re debating about a play-clothes closet...I think she's still a bit young (20 mos), so maybe that will be fun for her birthday or summertime.

I guess, as its bedtime, i'd best go get storybooks ready. Right now, our favorite is about Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer and the land of misfit toys.

Oh, an atheist/humanist, how would you go about explaining why we celebrate Christmas? We don't want to set a horrificly consumeristic agenda, but we aren't so down with the "3 wise men" either...I'm leaning towards celebrating family days, but you all would be helpful...
I keep telling myself "this will pass." And when I do I hear the chorus of Hip Mamas in my head saying it along with me.

It does help me keep my sanity. As does knowing that I'm not the only one feeling it (not that I'd wish this on anyone, of course.)

Notbob has one nap most days, for about an hour and a half.

To make things more challenging I have a cold too (worse than notbob) and I'm starting a new set of responsibilities at my job. It's difficult timing. Not the end of the world, but difficult.

Mox, I don't blame you for getting emotional at that! I would.

Notbob suddenly loves his stuffed toys and when he is awake is a lot of fun most of the time. He invented a new game last night with his dad after his bath (btw, he wakes up in the mornings now and before he even signs "eat" he signs for a bath. Kid loves his bath.) He was sitting on the towel in the bedroom and dad pulled it toward him, using several gentle little tugs. Not only was that hilarious, but it was even more hilarious when he fell over (he thought. And it was very gently) He immediately sat up and got back on the towel and we did it again and again and again. Very amusing for all of us.

I found him a toy orangutan at Goodwill the other day. I was pleased. He now has a very large gorilla, a gibbon, and the orang. He likes that the gibbon and the orang will fit around his neck and then you velcro the hands (or feet) together. His luvie is a monkey too. I'm enjoying indulging in my primate love with him as an excuse.

I don't know if I could bring myself to listen to coldplay even if it did make him sleep. wink.gif (If you ask me that in a few hours, though, I'll be singing an entirely different tune, so to speak...)

Gren, I hear you about going off the deep end. I don't know how you manage so well. I admire you. Glad things have picked up a bit. SIL sounds like a great addition.
in a strange way it keeps getting easier. (of course, i say that now, but probably in two days i'll be back to near-suicidal threats...especially since my MIL will be visiting).

the SIL thing is great because it allows me to cook and deal with one kid rather than trying to cook and deal with two. while grading papers.

music the bean likes:

red house painters (mark kozelek)
robyn hitchcock
abd al-malik (french hip-hop)
cat power
yo-yo ma playing vivaldi violin solos on the cello

the mister looks kind of alarmingly like chris martin of coldplay, so much that one of the first comments on his myspace page was "isn't it ironic that such an avid radiohead fan should look so much like chris martin?" me, i only like coldplay when i'm drunk, but i really enjoy playing the piano riff to "clocks" when drunk, in public. over. and. over. and. over again. there was a bar on 3rd and clement that i used to do this at with a boyfriend who suffered from a similar drunken coldplay issue. thankfully both boyfriend and DCI are in the past.

mox, i hear you about christmas. personally i'm planning to say something like this: "we celebrate christmas to bring light to the darkness of winter and to honor the birthday of a baby who grew up to be a very wise and gentle person who taught everyone to love each other." i'll save the part about him inspiring people to kill each other and be intolerant bigots until later, when i can quote gandhi saying "i like your christ. i do not like your christians. they are so unlike your christ." because i do think it's important for kids to know xmas is about something, not just presents and trees, and the sermon on the mount is great. but i'm not so into the whole "begotten not made/of one being with the Father/from him all things were made", at least not in any literal way.

the crabber pooped in my bed. i will probably sleep on it. ah, the glamour...
hmm, moxie that's a good question. i wonder what little even thinks of xmas, i'll have to ask him. for the past 4 we have been away, just he and me (and boxes of presents send from afar). this year it will be all about family, and presents and food too i suppose. we are staying home, grandma and uncle are coming to our place on The Day and we'll all head over to my aunties place for new year. i guess this would be a good year to focus on what the holidays are all about. i'll most likely have to do some damage control, he learns some Very Interesting Things at school i'm discovering. wonderful. he told me girls can't play basketball the other day. just great.

i can't talk to you about wee and sleep, you will never speak to me again if i do. all i can say is that she's making up for little's never-sleepingness and how he screamed at me non-stop for his first two years. thank maude, i could Not go through that again.
pepper, perhaps you can make a trip stateside to the next WNBA game.
So, after the discussion about the whole "this too shall pass"...we had a HORRIBLE night last night. Little shit woke up at 1AM, ostensibly with a bad dream. Ok, I get why she can't self-sooth on problem. After 20 minutes of cuddles, she springs to life (not back to sleep) screaming for her "baby" doll. Um, ok. Over and over, sooth, pop up, SCREAM, even when being cuddled. New diaper, motrin (in case of tooth unseen), bottle (a last-ditch effort) and our bed...NADA. We finally, after 2 hours of this nonsense, put her in her crib, gave ehr kisses, and turned the monitor off.

I know, abandonning said child is probably damaging her. But, she was screwing with us. The only explination we could come up with was power-play independence-pushing limits when all was said and done.

Tonight, and for a few weeks, tougher bedtime routine enforcement and we re-take over setting the agenda. Independence is all well and good, but must be tempered with something not totally ego-driven.

Why are we talking about #2 again? Goddess help me.

We did chat about the whole "what do we tell her about Christmas" thing last night. Being from a largely non-christian, secular family on all sides, we all cherish the time we spend together, appreciating our family and friends. So, we're taking just what you said gren...the whole "Jesus was a wonderful man who taught people to love, and since its his birthday, we are choosing to show our family the same love or appreciation or whatever." then, as we get older, we can get into the symbolism of how Diwali (we're Indian on my dad's side) and Christmas are the same, etc. This year, we're going heavy on "traditional" kid's christmas stories...Rudolph, Misfit Toys, Frosty, Santa, etc.
Ok, weirdly enough notbob slept like the proverbial bably last night. To bed at 8:00 something, asleep by 9 (by grandma and not me) and slept until 4 am. A freakin' miracle.

Grandma then reassured him and he was asleep again by 4:15. Until 7:45.

If that could happen once a week I'd be thrilled.

He hardly ate yesterday--didn't seem to be interested--and it seemed he was less gassy. I really wonder if that had something to do with it. I'm always reluctant to ascribe problems sleeping to gas as I know there are plenty of times he has gas and is fine, and it's easy when you are looking for a problem to find one (if that makes sense.)

The only thing different in his diet that I could think of was he didn't have any yogurt. It never seemed to bother him before (when we first gave it to him of course I really paid attention and it didn't seem to be a problem). So that's not very conclusive.

My mother was very helpful last night. As was the mister, in spite of the fact he had to get up at 1;30 for work. They basically sent me to bed and later mom said everything right about how it wasn't my fault that he's not a good sleeper, that I needed to take care of myself more, etc, etc etc.

The mister gave notbob a bath and took care of him while I napped and then grandma put him to bed and offered to sleep in his room in case he woke up so I could get a decent nights sleep for one.

(Of course then various things conspired against me to get back to sleep but at least I slept w/o interruption for more than 1 hour or so at a time, and that was good.)

Then on my way to work I stopped at trader joe's where I decided to splurge/indulge in some grilled artichoke & parmesan dip. It had glass (or something very glass like) in it. Geez.

The xmas stuff is very interesting. I hadn't thought aobut it, but we'll be there soon, too.
QUOTE(grenadine @ Dec 5 2007, 12:06 AM) *
pepper, perhaps you can make a trip stateside to the next WNBA game.

i could. that would mean i'd have to sit and watch a bball game though and that would be torture for me, really, it would.
i just looked it up online and showed him a picture of an All girls team. he was impressed and i'm glad it came up, it was a chance to address the "girls And boys can do anything" issue. he believes me (mostly), i've generally been able to "prove" anything he's doubted.

i do feel like i'm in school again though. everytime he learns something new he comes home with a "you'll never guess what!". it's pretty funny. i got a couple of friends of mine who he really likes and gets on with to make a point of telling him how awesome, smart and wonderful his mama is. believe me, it made a big difference. he took me for granted before and i took it for granted that he was aware of the fact that mom knows as much as his teacher.
anoushh, it's crazy... we had the same awesomely wonderful nights sleep. sorry mox!!! funny how things just shift so quickly. while it was still hard to get him to sleep, jackaroo slept last night from 11pm all the way to 9AM this morning!!! i couldn't believe it and STILL didn't get much sleep after 4am because i kept going in to check on him. he just keeps me guessing.
looks like last night was lucky on the west coast... miss v. slept from 9 p.m. until 7:15 a.m. i was shocked.

anoushh, i don't wish to alarm you, but the bean developed his allergies after seeming to be OK for several months. it may be worth avoiding yogurt (or whatever) for two weeks to see if he consistently sleeps better.

and maybe you should make a point of having grandma on sleep duty once a week! smile.gif
Yes to the dairy avoidance plan to see what happens (I know he could develop allergies at any time and M has a history of eczema/asthma, etc, so notbob might too.) Worth a try.

Yes to grandma duty. She keeps telling me to wake her up at night if I need to, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's hard for me not to think/feel that it's as hard for her to manage with him as it is for me, but she says "it's just different" and points out that no matter how much she watches him she doesn't have the burden of care, emotionally or physically, that I do. I guess she has experience on her side too, having the context of having her kids grown.

Gren--9- 7:15? That's amazing.

FJ, are you on the west coast too? Ok, how do we make this happen again? (I know the answer, but oh, I wish....)
naw, i think FJ is somewhere like chi-town. (?)

actually, the bean slept horribly last night (up at 12:30, which he never does, and 4 and 5:30, which he often does), so it's a tradeoff. but yes, her sleep is amazing. usually it's more like 8:30-4:30 or 5, which is still pretty awesome.

i can see how it would be hard for you to wake up your mom. that's beyond what's reasonable to ask, i think (of you, not of her). but i think ybou might move his crib into her room or move yourself to another room for a night, just to give yourself a break. or go stay at a hotel! there are great midweek deals and it can be wonderful. i would do that if it weren't for my leaky boobs...

we make this happen again using BOURBON. and hypnotism.
So, last night, 8:45-7:01! Not even a peep. It was lovely. Well, from 5-7 AM it was a bit nervewracking, but mostly it was lovely. I think re-inforcing the bedtime routine and rules did the trick.

FJ is in Flordia.

I am in Detroit

Gren is in Portland

Annoush is where?

Pepper is in ONT

We are a spread out lot.
whoo-hoo for sleep! sounds like your night of letting her deal paid off.

miss v continues to be great. the bean woke up at two yelling for me again. it's a new and different kind of night waking...hopefully it resolves soon.

how does Your baby look with a moustache?
ha ha, pepper! what a cutie.

on the xmas tip: we've decided not to celebrate christmas anymore, period. since our trying to celebrate it (for two years) was based entirely on social pressure and was entirely secular (the mister is aggressively anti-religious; i'm all for the baby jesus but strongly against organised christianity), i'm feeling pretty good about that decision, although i know we will be ostracised in a big way. and i do intend to teach them about who jesus was when they're older, just as i will teach them about gandhi and buddha and copernicus.
I was trying to comment on the xmas conversation but I seem to have lost the power of coherent speech. Well, that's my week, anyway.

But I'm enjoying/appreciating it.

The no dairy diet hasn't be the miracle we've hoped for, not even a little miracle, but it's pretty clear that at the moment at least what wakes him up is tummy pain/gas. Gas drops last night didn't prevent that, so I'm not sure what to do. Very frustrated about it, too.

In the meantime we are doing no dairy except formula. I suppose we could try soy formula for a bit and see if that makes a difference.
Incidentally, we are in Oregon. I just wondered if FJ was also west coast based on gren's comment.

I'm all confused anyway b/c both Car and Tart have moved, but I can't remember where. And what happened to Chani?

Ok, now I'm just stalling b/c I have so much work to do that I feel a bit panicked. But stalling isn't helping.
notbob is 1 yr old, right? Try moving him from formula to soy milk. is there anything else "new" in his diet? He might even just have a tummy bug. poor kid. Maybe a little gripe water in his bottle? The fennel is very soothing to an upset tummy. I actually wish I had some right now...

So, I just spent my lunch hour looking over OLD pictures of goodness, she was a cute baby. She's such a wicked fun little girl, though, that I wouldn't trade her "now" for anything.
what about stopping formula altogether and going for goat milk instead? not sure if goat would be acceptable to him or work or not but might be worth a try.

i tend to avoid soy in little's diet, the phyto-estrogens can muck with their developing hormones. just what i do though, i know it is in nearly everything these days.
I'm going to make an appt w/ the dr. I think it's worth talking about alternatives. We briefly added cow's milk to his diet at 12 months and he slept very poorly so we stopped it for a while except for yogurt (which we've now stopped.)

I know what you mean about the cute baby vs. fun now baby, mox.

She's pretty darn cute now, too, of course.

We have some gripe water, so I'll give that a go. It can't hurt plus it tastes nice.
hey, do any of you have the slumber bear? some moms on the other site i go to have given it a good review. one said that it worked only as good as white noise. have any of you non-sleeping-baby mamas given that a try? i know vacuuming can put some babies out too. crazy but true.
QUOTE(anoushh @ Dec 7 2007, 12:05 PM) *
Incidentally, we are in Oregon. I just wondered if FJ was also west coast based on gren's comment.

I'm all confused anyway b/c both Car and Tart have moved, but I can't remember where. And what happened to Chani?


Tart moved back to her home state of Pennsylvania. She left us Chicago Busties *sniff*

Where has she been lately?

re: white noise- I've heard running the dryer, too.
We just use a white noise machine in M's room. I did see that bear, though, when we were registering for baby stuff way back when. It looked cool, but we never ended up getting it.

How's everyone's weekends so far? We've purposely been LOW KEY, except for our attempt at Santa yesterday. M isn't so big into the big guy...Maybe we;ll try again today. I wonder if repeated exposure is helpful or if I should just let it go for this year.

Ok, M is waking. At least I've had 1 cuppa...a shower will have to wait till moxieman is up.
:ears burning: I'm here, I'm here! Yep, in PA, but missing Chicago sorely... Polly, if you're still lurking, give big boobysquishing hugs to all ma laydeeez!

Work continues to be the Big Time Suck, but I've been lurking & trying to keep up on everyone's news... Things here are clocking right along - our Big News is that we've weaned! Woo! We were down to nursing at bedtime, and a few weeks ago, it became clear that it was no longer the instant comfort it once was - he'd nurse for 15 minutes or so, then pop off & be raring to go, with no interest in getting back on the boob. So we went to bedtime with Daddy, just rocking in the chair... I had 2 weeks off from bedtime to let Tiny C get used to the new regime, and he's taken it like a champ. It still takes about 45 minutes to get him down, but it's no longer a power struggle - we just hold him & chat quietly if he wants to talk, and have a repertoire of different ways to hold him if he gets squirmy. We also have a rule for each other that if it hits an hour & there's still yakking away & no sign of sleep, Tartman & I trade out, so no one person gets "stuck" up there. So far we've only had to switch out once. I can't tell you how much of a difference it's made in my relationship with Tartlet - I don't have that guaranteed hour of nursing & cuddling every night, so I find myself seeking out much more one-on-one time with him during the day. It's been really good to get to know him in a way other than mother/baby - he's started playing jokes with me, is more spontaneously affectionate than he's ever been, and now actively requests cuddles when he's feeling tired or grumpy, an absolute first. Of course, there's the litany of NO & MINE, but even that's been pretty easy to manage so far. His only rotten manoeuver is kicking the crap out of me when he's on the changing table - so far, nothing's worked to stop that... I suspect we're getting to the standing-up-diaper-change age blink.gif

On the Christmas topic... Tartman is a Presbyterian deacon. I am a life-long agnostic with Buddhist tendencies & a knee-jerk reaction against most elements of organized religion. Makes life interesting. So far, we're going the family-time-of-giving-&-thanks route, but we do have a few Christmas books that tell the story of Jesus, et al. I don't mind them, except when I walk in on storytime with Daddy & hear "who's that, C? It's the baby Jesus!" Kinda gives me the heebies, even from my own husband. I'm trying really hard not to project my own issues on Tartlet, though, so he & Daddy will likely go to Christmas Eve services, and Mama will stay home with a glass or two of sherry & the LotR movies laugh.gif We did put up a tree this year - Tartlet keeps forgetting it's there, scampers round the corner & does a doubletake... "WOW! Light! Big big!"

Anoushh, I'm going to side with Pepper on the soy question, at least until you've spoken to your doc. Have you tried switching formulas? We used (close your eyes, Gren & Pepper) Nestle's Good Start without the DHA, and even with Tartlet's reflux never had trouble. We tried a few other brands, just to see, and he had tummy issues with all of them (even the Good Start with DHA, go fig). And I'm with Gren on giving your mum a set time for baby duty - waiting til you need her leaves you both fried & feeling bad for waking her. When Tartlet was tiny, I'd put him to bed - then Tartman was on duty until midnight, just about every night, so I could get some stuff done & get a bit of sleep. It was only a few hours, but it definitely helped.

Oh Mox... I hear you on the wacky sleep shite. I've resorted to the Austin Method on a few nights (named for a friend who used it with his amazingly self-assured & non-psychologically-damaged daughter) - I get Tartlet & I tucked in on the twin airbed in his room... and then "fall asleep" ON him. Yes, as in, pin him to the mattress in the most cuddly & loving way possible. He yells & fights it for a few minutes, but the coziness soon wins out, and we both get some sleep. It's handy, too, because I can shush him back to sleep if he starts to wake up again before it's Up Time. This method saved our collective bacon on a few nights when his eye teeth were giving him no peace, and he was happy as a clam to wake up snuggled with Mama. :poke, poke: :patpat: "Mama! Mama seep! Mama apple truck!" (apparently the penultimate in toddler compliments) laugh.gif

Uhmmm, oh cod, I'm sure there's more I wanted to contribute, but my coffee's gone cold & my phone's going to start ringing any minute (stupid deadline-pushers)... Love to everyone, and now that the real estate season is winding down, I hope to be around a bit more often... at least for a week or two, anyway.
tart! welcome back!

i totally know what you mean about the relationship changing when you wean. it was great for me to see that the bean's needing me was not just all about the boobies, after all (something the mister would jokingly suggest after the first year of "mama, mama, mama").

is that what pinning them is called? the "austin method"? i did that a couple of times when we were having trouble with nap after switching to the big bed, and it did work...but i didn't feel good about it ethically.

wow, married to a presbyterian deacon -- see, the thing for me is that even though i was raised episcopalian (and buddhist, but hey, where's the conflict? smile.gif) and have a lot more love for "the jesus" than many of my friends, i get creeped out by those religious kids' books that are like "little one, god made you..."
anyway, we announced our decision to not celebrate xmas anymore to the inlaws this weekend, and they survived. and i'm feeling amazingly relieved, happy, and free about that decision. we'll be able to celebrate the cultural holiday of dongzhi (sort of a chinese solstice/thanksgiving fest with emphasis on eating, partying, and family) with presents to give the kids something to look forward to, and when they are older i'll teach them about how jesus had a lot of great things to say (and how various bodhisattvas and muhammed did too). i've been looking for an ethically consistent way to do this, and i feel like i've finally found it.

anoushh, i re-advocate for a regular weekly "grandma night" on duty so you can count on one night of sleep per week.
Poor bunny is sick, including fever. This has resulted in one very demanding, whiny baby. I feel for him, but I'm also tired.

Mom is back on Wednesday. M is saying he needs a new job (which I hope he'll be able to follow through on. It worries me as I don't know what he'll be able to do that isn't too physically demanding for him but which we can afford to live on. But he has to make a change.)

I'm debating about doing more active "teaching" about learning to fall asleep on his own when he's better. I just don't know if I have the stamina for it, if it will make him worse, or if it will work in any way. He's just not an "easy" baby in any way.

Anyway, we have a doctor's appointment next week to discuss the tummy issues and the sleep.

We've suddenly realised that my poor old dog is now almost completely deaf. It seems to have happened very suddenly.
Hiya, I have a question that I thought BUST mums could maybe help with. I am trying to find baby books for friends, but a lot of the books I remember from when I was a kid are very heavy on images of blonde haired, blue eyed babies and families, and I would like something a little less 80s.

Googling and amazon trawling has just turned up preachy, issue-y books specifically about discussing ethnic differences (there seems to be lots of kids books about dim sum, for some reason unsure.gif), or hefty academic tomes about positive representations in literature. I just want regular books, aimed at 0-2 yr olds, that have kids in that look a little more like the bunch of kids I am buying for.

Any recommendations for books you have bought for your kids?
There's a great book called "Wherever You Are" (i think) by Mem Fox. Moxette refers to it as the "boo-boo" book since one of the kids gets a scrapped knee. Its got gorgeous illustrations, and is all about wherever you are, people may look different, speak different, etc., but inside we are all the same. I'm not even sure where we got it from, but I can't recommend it enough. That, and any Dr. Seues book....the people there aren't even people! Currently, our slate includes:

1. Einsey Weinsy Spider (take off of the song, where the spider has a big adventure day)
2. The wheels on the Bus (where all the passengers are animals)
3. Above referenced "boo-boo" book
4. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/Land of Misfit Toys
5. Mr. Brown can Moo, can You (Dr. Seuess).

Ps/... annoush, how is not-bob feeling? Poor family!
beck, we always keep a special lookout for biracial or multiracial books. there's a great baby book called "zoom" where the family is biracial, a great book called "little mister" where the family is biracial, a beautiful counting book called "ten, nine, eight" by molly bang, where the daughter and father are african american, a great book by hui-hui su-kennedy called "what do i do," with pictures of people all kinds, a great book by norton juster called "the hello goodbye window," where both the parents and grandparents are biracial couples, a great illustrated book of the ntozake shange poem called "ellington was not a street," several great books by taro gomi (author of 'everyone poops,' but the two i'm thinking of are "bus stops" and "my friends", where the people are, of course, japanese, a great book called "emily's balloon" where the mom and daughter are of indeterminate but probably asian race...

also, "the real mother goose," which i had in my childhood, was re-colored in the 80s or 90s to make some of the children black and some have black hair and look faintly asian.

there is a fabulous, wonderful, awesome book called "a child's book of poems" by giyo fujikawa, and the kids are all races (incredibly beautiful illustrations). i had it as a kid and i just saw a reprint in our local bookstore.

oh, also woody guthrie's "new baby train" illustrated by marla frazee and "the snowy day" and "the trip" by ezra jack keats." (the first our son has loved since age one, the second is more two and up).

that's just what i can think of offhand. let me know if you need more.

mox, how is miss moxette sleeping? my girl woke up twice last night -- i'm thinking growth spurt.

anoushh, how is notbob?

the bean has just put a balloon in a mini trash can and is carrying it around claiming it's an ice cream. also, he says, "daddy has a girl named mama." and yesterday when i got home from the store he was running around the living room yelling, "LET'S GO BERZERK WITH A BALLOON!!"

let's, indeed.
Great book suggestions! (Though I have a serious doctor seuss phobia-even typing that name makes me a bit anxious. I'm really hoping notbob does not take to these. Of course, that means he will. Dad gets to read those to him.)

Short update:

notbob was very sick night before last. Woke up when the tylenol wore off with a VERY high fever and was miserable, of course. Even after the next dose kicked in he was feverish and miserable. (At 3:30 am he woke up and just cried. The mister came in--he was getting up for work--and just hugged him and that really calmed him down when he wasn't responding to me.)

But that was the worst and by morning he was better. Not 100% of course, but a lot better and now is almost his normal self (just plus some extra snot.)

Grandma and Grandpa back late last night, too, so he's happy about that. We have a doctor's appt next week to discuss tummy and sleeping issues.

But several days practically on my own with a sick and understandably whiny baby=not fun.

And a TON of work to do, so I'm off for now.
thanks Gren and Moxie, they sound great. I'll look them up on amazon and see which i can get here in England.

"LET'S GO BERZERK WITH A BALLOON!!" - now that would be an awesome book! laugh.gif
Where is everyone? I'm having withdrawal pains.
Ailing on all fronts - all 3 of us are nursing a low-grade flu, meaning lots of snot, coughing & general crankiness. Happy holidays! :eyeroll:

Seconding the Ezra Jack Keats recommendations, and adding Eric Carle's books (specifically From Head to Toe) & oddly enough, the Where is Baby's... series.

Tonight is Tartlet's inaugural bedtime-with-sitter experience - my mum's taking over so we can go to Tartman's company party... wish everyone luck!

:cough: :sneeze: :snort:

Ugh. Need more tea.
ugh, tart. put us down in the sickie list too...a cold/cough that's threatening to take away my voice and leaving the mister cranky as hell. the bean seems to have it least of all -- mild stuffiness, mild cough...but that is another problem as he's of course still up at five raring to go! dry.gif

the other thing is that since i'm on break from school right now, and my usual translation job didn't come through, i've been spending most of my time online working on my blog rather than busting. up to 88 views yesterday...pathetic by some standards, but a landmark for me.

when not online - most of the time lately -- houston, we have underpants! the bean has been wearing 'em since last saturday. he's been mostly a champ, peeing in public toilets, etc. he did have two accidents at playschool on monday, though (i think it's too busy there!), so we sent the SIL with him tuesday to run potty interference, and today the mr. is going with him, tomorrow i will. meanwhile, we're having a big family dongzhi party tomorrow and i'm hoping i won't still be sick so i can host properly.

and i'm traumatised because of the lead warnings on all the holiday lights -- apparently they will give you lead poisoning. geez.

good luck with babysitting time tonight, tart...hope they have hot toddies at the party!
and what are the rest of you mamas doing this weekend?
busy, furiously busy making the last of the xmas gifts. i started stencilling some shirts and they are GREAT! my goodness, it's so easy as to be laughable. why i didn't do this before is beyond me! i made my bro a shirt that says "meh." absolutely perfect for him.

QUOTE(grenadine @ Dec 20 2007, 10:12 AM) *
and i'm traumatised because of the lead warnings on all the holiday lights -- apparently they will give you lead poisoning. geez.

only if you put them in your mouth though, right? i don't think any of us will be doing that.

apparently though fake trees have same and leak it out in dust form which sucks because i have one and new kitties and a small floor dwelling bebe. i'm a little peeved about that. how is lead still making it into products anyhow? what's that gov't doing with all it's time? patting itself on that back and giving itself raises? sheesh!

QUOTE(grenadine @ Dec 20 2007, 10:12 AM) *
hope they have hot toddies at the party!

ooh, i'll go to a party full of Hot Todds! oh, wait, you mean that other thing. darn it.
actually, the warnings say to wash hands after touching. so presumably you can get lead poisoning from putting them up and then eating with your hands. and we had a string of lanterns up that the bean could reach and was touching.

i didn't know about the tree thing, tho i can't say i'm surprised. i should check with my cousin, who's the spokesperson for some national lead awareness group (her baby got TERRIBLE lead poisoning from painters using unsafe methods on their house), but every time i talk to her she tries to convince me that MY HOUSE WILL KILL MY ENTIRE FAMILY and it makes me depressed.

ugh. i become more and more convinced that, as a society, we're going to die of industrial pollutants.
well, on the sunny side, we may die of industrial pollutants, but we aren't dying by being eaten.
oh pppffffttttt! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
Hi guys,
I've missed being on this thread! I'm going to start posting more. I want to be part of the cool Mommy crowd.
I'm visiting my mom in Park City, Utah, for Christmas. I was worried about the time change (just an hour from Houston, but still) and the altitude, but his sleeping has not been too bad at all -- last night he slept from 9-5:30 without feeding! (he woke up at 1 and husband petted him back to sleep, but I don't really count it if I'm not forced to nurse him.) AND, at 5:30, I actually had to wake him up to feed him because I was so engorged. I wonder how long he would have gone. Before this, our record was 8-6:30, but that was only once. Usually he sleeps 7:30-7, with a feed around 3.
6 months on Jan. 4...I can't believe how big he seems now, and how much of a personality he is getting..he seems so happy and laughy. I hope he stays that way.
Hi Aqua!

Happy new year to mamas and babies. Hope it all went well.

I'm astonished to report that someone is actually sleeping a heck of a lot better. All of a sudden. For over a week.

Wow!. ohmy.gif smile.gif

And he's discovered hiding. He crawls under the kitchen chair and waits until someone comes to find him and then laughs and laughs and laughs. It's great.
Hey ladies! I used to post here in Kvetch and a bit here but I've been gone for awhile. My name's Lori. I'm 25, Canadian and a mom of 3 kids and a bulldog. It's really never ending chaos.

Ok, I'm going to hide on my back porch and smoke and hope to not get caught.
Hi Lori--I remember you.

I just came by to say I am SO fed up. mad.gif
(((anoushh))) I remember you too. I hear ya on the fed up. For real.
I wish the best for all the girls in this lounge, lets hope for a great 2008 for all !
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