Sep 24 2007, 10:18 AM
YEAH! WELCOME!! Baby Vernea, hereby named crabber. Crabber and the Bean...seems almost poetic?
Glad you all are doing so well! Did the birth go well in the hospital? You're all home, so I presume the answer is yes!
Sep 24 2007, 11:18 AM
Crabby & the Bean
Went to sea
Tucked in a pea green boat
Said Bean to the Crabby,
"Tis not so shabby,
Can you turn it down a mote?"
Sep 24 2007, 12:15 PM
Welcome baby Verena!
Hope all went well. My utmost sympathies about the tear but as my midwife said "the perineum has miraculous healing powers."
And bean is now a big brother!
Sep 24 2007, 01:47 PM
hugs to shiny, feel better shiny family!
yay verena, she of the intersting name and nickname. woot crabbers and the bean!
Sep 24 2007, 02:03 PM
here's my new mantra: DIURNAL. think DIURNAL. crabber has been sacked out pretty much since 9 am but was up eating every half-hour much of the night. i am remembering the "am i on drugs, or is this parenting?" feeling.
thanks, tart, for the rhyme. the bean gets this expression of sick fascination when she cries. he's taking it pretty well... and i feel blessed that my long-lost and terminally late brother came through with a bday pres for the bean today in the form of a big package on our doorstep, which is nice at this time...
anoushh, it's not the perineum (sorry if that's TMI). it's higher up in front, more torn by pressure than direct tearing, if you see what i mean, and it makes peeing feel like thumbscrews. i totally knew it was happening when i did it, too, but i did it anyway. oh well.
and now back to your regularly scheduled program.
Sep 24 2007, 02:25 PM
Congrats to gren!
Update on Shiny's lil. Still in hosp but doing well. So far, all blood tests and spinal tap have come back clean. Turned e.coli in urine though so re-testing that right now. If all's clear then they'll go home to monitor and heal. Shiny is tired and bored. Lil is sleeping lots.
Sep 24 2007, 02:59 PM
Gren, according to the midwife still the same magical healing properties. Which doesn't help much now, I know. But I kept thinking of her words when I was convinced I'd NEVER feel even remotely normal again.
And thank god for the peri bottle. You have my sympathies.
Poor Shiny and lil shiny! I bet it's harder on mom. Oh, and might I say, that triage nurse should be smacked.
Sep 24 2007, 03:04 PM
oh my, how dreadful. glad it's over, hope they are both home soon.
Sep 24 2007, 07:26 PM
we are home. tired and not 100% by any means but afebrile all day. this still may be a long hall but i am very glad to be home. i will fill in the gaps later. thanks for the hugs and thoughts.
congrats on crabber! love the name.
Sep 25 2007, 05:26 AM
good lord, shiney! My heart is racing for you and the kidlets. That triage nurse should not be a triage nurse for a pediatrician at the very least. I'd call the ped and complain and threaten to leave the practice, or whatever might make some impact. Seriously...not telling you to come in, or that she'd get the doctor ASAP, or what have you, when an infant that young is clearly sick? One does not go into pediatrics b/c of 9-5 hours!
Well, in happier stuff, we found the US equivalent of the veggie/fruit combo here...VRUIT. I got the carrot/apple juice, and moxette LOVES it. Miss thiung was a pill (whiny miss whinykins) this morning, and now I'm off for a long-ass day at work. Awesome.
Sep 25 2007, 10:03 AM
dbl post, oops! butterfinger. heh.
Sep 25 2007, 10:03 AM
girl rolls over. isn't it a little early for that? 13wks. maybe it's just going by faster than i remember
and both of us are having the shed. fine little baby fluff hair covers everything she lays on and i pull one of my long curly strands out from between her clenched fingers many times a day. my hair is Everywhere right now. i need a trim. last time this happened i shaved my head out of pure frustration
gotta hide the clippers.
Sep 25 2007, 10:50 AM
shiny, i'm sorry about your rough weekend!! i had to take jackaroo for an overnight at the hospital at three weeks, so i know just how worried you must have been. i hope you're all feeling better and getting some proper sleep.
((((shiny and lil shiny))))
YAY and welcome to verena the crabber! that is so cute! sorry you're dealing with the aftermath of birth now, gren, but just remember it WILL get better. glad to hear the bean is being gentle with her.
pepper, put down the clippers! i am beginning to get the same shedding thing going. i finally went this weekend for a trim and hate what the girl did to my hair, but it's better than it was. still falling out all over the place though. i've started noticing jackaroo's hairs on his cradle sheets too. he is sort of getting reverse male pattern baldness, hehe. he's still cuter than snuff.
oh, and pepper, jackaroo has accidentally flipped himself over from belly to back a couple times. i really don't think he meant to do it, but his big head just sort of lead him in that direction. from what i read, it usually happens before four months, but i haven't seen anything saying when it normally does happen the first time.
i love the ideas about getting veggies and fruit in the bebes bellies! i read somewhere recently (parents?) that a mother puts pureed butternut squash in her child's mac n cheese, and spinach in the brownies!
fiddler, have you had to return the princess? how is she doing?
Sep 25 2007, 11:45 AM
article says they can start as early as 3 months but what do they mean by that? three actual months or 12 weeks? she's 13 weeks tomorrow, and she rolled back to front too. she does NOT enjoy tummy time, it's a sure fire way to make my non-crying baby scream and shout
do you think pregnancy craving continue on throughout breastfeeding? i am craving olives, dairy (which i hardly ever eat), rapini and turnips and apples. even more than when i was pregnant actually. and the other day i ate shrimp, eww, the cockroach of the sea! they were delicious.
i started my period Again, can you believe that? regular flow, regular duration both of them, and barely three weeks apart dagnabbit!
when i started feeding little i used a manual baby food mill and ground up apple or pear with whatever veg, squash, kale, spinach, etc. he never balked at anything so long as it had a sweet base. he's a pretty good eater now, for a 6 year old that is
Sep 25 2007, 12:04 PM
oh, the little guy HATES tummy time too. the mr always rolls his eyes at me when i put jackaroo down in his little gym mat. "why do you WANT to make him cry?". but i always feel like if he starts out in a good mood, he'll last longer. i read something yesterday that called it strenuous exercise and that makes total sense. he is protesting because he's tired!! so i usually only make him deal with it for a couple minutes but do it several times throughout the day. have to do it at the right time though, too close to a feeding and we have spit up - wait too long and he is already cranky before i even put him down.
i tried it this morning tummy down with his chest and head up on the boppy and he didn't protest as much as usual. but it doesn't allow him as much movement either.
and i have the same problem with 3months vs. 12 weeks... by date he won't be 3mo until october 8th, but he'll be over 13 weeks by them.
how OLD is my child??
Sep 25 2007, 12:56 PM
hee! i only know how heavy she is for sure. or how heavy she feels anyhow!
little never had cradle cap but this girl has it. it's so, i don't know, gucky. if i give it an oil rub before a bath and then brush with a little softy baby brush it gunks off but the skin under looks so new, it's too fresh. i'm just leaving the flaky head alone. she gets it right down her forehead though! and she has a patch of dry skin on her belly too, about the size of a quarter. after her bath today i dried her off and gave her an oil massage and some rough skin starting to slough off at her ankles and knees, like gobby chunks of it. lots. she has the weirdest skin.
i noticed a freckle today though, right on the underside of her second biggest toe. i thought it was a fleck of dirt but it didn't come off and when i looked closer, lo and behold, it was a beauty mark. i can't believe it, dots already (that's what little calls my beauty spots, i have them all over.) little has moles, must be from his papa 'cause all i've gots is dots.
Sep 25 2007, 03:00 PM
my lil loves to lie on my chest even if i am lying flat. he lookes up at me and coos. it is soooo cute. so maybe he will like tummy time when he is older. he is almost 7 wks.
ok, so we are on a round of antibiots for an uti and then will recheck post finish of the meds. the he will have a whole urinary tract work-up. the doc at the hospital wrote a script for a prophylactic antibiot for everyday even after this first rx for the infection. that seems crazy to me to put him on a daily drug that has known side effects (g i upset, thrush, etc) and everyone in here knows the perils of over uses of antibiots, when there is no malformation of the bladder or kidneys or any known problem with function. granted, if we find something in the work up we may look at this differently. anyway, i am waiting for his regular ped to call me back on that. in the mean time he will get his full dose to clear up his uti. he is happily sleeping right now. yeah!
Sep 25 2007, 03:27 PM
Notbob HATED being on his tummy. He hated it so much he didn't learn to turn over till fairly late--about six months, I think. (Though I could be wrong about the date. I just remember kids younger than him were turning over with ease.)
It wasn't until he could get up on hands and knees that he didn't mind it so much.
I've had a lot of thoughts about temperement lately, but no time to write them all. We are off the the UK in just over a week, so trying to get caught up at work, get ready, etc. ARRGGH. But I will say I've been reading the Dr Sears sleep book and I like it because it talks about different temperments, which most other books don't. One size does not fit all, in sleep or in anything else. Oh, and the mister was talking to his dad and mentioned the various sleep problems notbob has had and has, and his dad said "That's exactly what you were like." I KNEW it was his fault. (Ok, I'm kidding--mostly--about fault.) The "I dont' want to go to sleep--I might miss something/I have things I want to do" is pretty much what notbob's dad is like now, and he's 51.
Shiny, glad you and baby are home. I don't blame you about the antibiotic worries. Sounds like you have good instincts (no surprise there). Hope things continue to improve.
The latest notbob development: HATES vegetables (even ones he used to like) and loves his grandma being home. He played peekaboo this morning and LAUGHED and LAUGHED at her, especially when he genuinely snuck up on her of his own accord when she was distracted for a minute (I was watching him) by crawling around the chair they were playing around.
Also hairpulling, glasses and nose grabbing with renewed vigor. Since I have long hair and the mister can't see w/o glasses, it's a challenge. A painful one.
Sep 25 2007, 06:46 PM
hair pulling, i totally cut my hair sooo short when shinyboy was at that stage. and omg anoushh hubby is the same way, 'i'll sleep when i am dead attitude' so maybe i am in for the same thing with lil. good luck.
i am up for any advice about dealing with antibiotic tummy problems. i dont know if he was colicy this afternoon or it is the antibiotics.
Sep 25 2007, 06:53 PM
Yes, I now completely understand why new mothers all seem to get their hair cut.
For once I have no medical-ish advice to offer. I don't know what you'd do for a baby that young. He could have just had a bad afternoon, but antibiotics can be tough, as you know.
Sep 25 2007, 07:04 PM
we always give probiotics when giving antibiotics, but that doesn't help with the tummy upset so much as prevent candida...good luck.
the crabber is being very well-behaved today and was really pretty good last night - up every two hours to eat and then asleep again -- but i'm starting to be very, very tired. sigh.
Sep 25 2007, 07:40 PM
i am giving probiotics in hopes to not have thrush.
Sep 26 2007, 06:04 AM
loads of extra liquids? i have no idea for a baby that wee. I'd definitly call the pediatrician, and speak with the DOCTOR thist ime...that nurse sounded just like bad news bears.
We had a lovely evening last night. Inspired by our new philosophgy to discipline (thanks entirely to the guru, again!), we've instituted the "3 strikes" policy for all but the most serious offenses. One-tell what you'd LIKE done (not "don't" if it can be helped), two, get down on her level and remind her of what she can/should/will do, three...institude said consequence. Example: at the Park...leaning over a rail. 1. Moxette, we shouldn't lean over the rail...let's play on the slide instead. 2 minutes later, back at the rail. "Moxette, I said the rail was off-limits. One more time, and we leave the park. That's the rule." 2 minutes later...back at the rail "Ok, you chose not to play by the rules, so we're leaving the park. Say bye-bye park". Hasn't resulted in 1 tantrum yet. Yet! Last night, though, was a greivious, 1 warning only issue...running into a parking lot w/o holding a grown up hand. Immediate "bye-bye" walk and into the car. We had finished our ice cream, though...so we still had plenty of fun.
FJ, how's the job hunt?
Sep 26 2007, 07:21 PM
here's a pretty fantastic article in response to the whole facebook "breastfeeding is offensive" thing. Those who live in glass bras...
Sep 27 2007, 04:13 AM
pepper...that was great. Sarcasm and satire. Such wonderful tools!
We had an awesome night last night. Playing with neighboorhood kids, adults hanging out, drinking beer. Seriously, its why I live in an inner ring suburb. I love knowing my neighbors, and having us all watch out for each other.
Sep 27 2007, 05:31 AM
omg, finally got lil down at mid night then up at 3. i have such a cold and am so tired. hubby i gone till oct 10 and i just want to cry. no, what i really want is sleep. i didn't take sudafed as to not be wakeful all night. ha. now i am still awake and stuffy as hell with a sinus headache.
ok, all done with the bitching.
Sep 27 2007, 05:49 AM
what a time for hubby to be out of town, eh? (((shiny, lil, shinyboy))) Is there anyone who can take the bebe for a couple hours, so you can get a nap? A worn through mama doesn't do anyone any good.
Sep 27 2007, 10:19 AM
(cross-posting in the YouTube and Moms of Not-So-Wee-Ones thread)
Thought y'all would appreciate this
P.S. Shiny, I hope you get some sleep!
Sep 27 2007, 11:03 AM
Ok, that was fun!
Try little Lily, the map reading genius baby
on for size!
Sep 27 2007, 12:50 PM
i don't really know where norway is either
Sep 27 2007, 02:34 PM
unfortunately, i do know where norway is. but i don't recommend it as a tourism experience -- a country of morose, sexually repressed alcoholics, gloppy and mucilaginous food, and seasonal affective disorder.
i am finding myself wanting to backhand my husband and strap my two-year-old into a chair. i've settled for shutting his door while he refuses to nap, but DAMN i'm irritated. rebellion is in full effect, the mr makes it worse by headbutting, and i do not have the patience right now for this plus 24/7 care of a newborn plus stupid faculty meeting i have to go to this afternoon where i will have to take the baby because it's too soon for her to drink pumped milk and my entire family is a bunch of incompetent knotheads anyway.
Sep 27 2007, 02:38 PM
Hi, also posted this over in pregnancy, but this thread gets more action, hope that's OK? Just wondered if any of you had any experience of acupuncture during pregnancy? Am only 6 weeks and feeling alright so far, just the sore/expanding boobs at the moment and slightly less appetite, but interested in looking into it for morning sickness and possibly the birth, assuming all goes well.
Sep 27 2007, 02:41 PM
mucilaginous - great word! yuk!
Sep 27 2007, 04:15 PM
Gren, are you sure you didn't wander into the UK by mistake? That sounds awfully familiar....
Sep 27 2007, 05:16 PM
whoops- double post.
i actually talked to some cops in oslo who told me that they have a "drunk route" where they go haul the insensate out of snowbanks, starting around 11 pm (in summer).
Sep 27 2007, 05:16 PM
alas, i am sure. besides, the norwegians are so sexually repressed that they routinely pass out in snow banks, stinking drunk, rather than confront their baser urges, whereas the brits are just sexually repressed enough to be tragically awkward at it. plus, the SAD is much worse in norway, and the pizza doesn't cost $50 a pop in the UK...
Sep 27 2007, 09:33 PM
No, only about $35 at current exchange rates.
Someday I might share my horrible experiences with british nightlife.
I have "reverse" SAD where I have problems in the summer (heat more than light), so that's not a worry for me in Norway.
Anyway, meant to comment on your "incompetent knotheads." Boy, do I know the feeling.
There's no way I can have another kid--I could never do it. I admire your stamina, mental and physical.
I think notbob's even worse than usual sleeping can be explained by what appears to be the near appearance of a top tooth. I gave him motrin tonight, but we've already had two wakings.
Sep 27 2007, 10:56 PM
my sister came up today and held lil so i could sleep for a bit. it helped but i am still really tired. i am so wishing that the mr was here to take at least one shift a night. lil is only happy being held and patted so it is pretty hard to get any sleep at all. he is the same tonight too. i may have to learn to sleep while walking the floor with him or sitting up and bouncing/patting him constantly. anoushh, i am totally sympathizing with the "worse than usual sleeping". gren, i am barely sane and my first baby is ten. you are hardcore woman. you must never sleep at all.
Sep 27 2007, 11:07 PM
ha ha ha! it is true! I NEVER SLEEP AT ALL!! especially since the baby slept from 11 am to 8 pm today and will now be awake, on and off, and fussy all night! and i'm teaching an overload of courses this quarter! and my students can't figure out what a word document is! and the mr can sleep through a tornado! and the bean's new mission is to Resist Bed At All Costs, including throwing all his books on the floor and taking all his clothes off the hangers and shoving the hangers under the changing table when he's supposed to be napping!
and did i mention that to keep the MOLD at bay i have to HEPA vacuum at least every few days and the mr always forgets to do it so one day postpartum, yup, i'm vacuuming! and scrubbing the floor! and making dinner!
i am less livid than i was (although i'm sure the sleep dep is affecting my attitude), but one does begin to understand why japanese wives refer to their husbands as "big useless garbage."
the only thing keeping me going is these ritter sports i keep inhaling at the rate of 3 per day. i used to think it was stupid to have chocolate called "sport." now i'm okay with it.
shiny and anoushh, i hope you get breaks. we just broke out the vibrating bouncy chair and i remembered how during the bean's colicky period there were days when i just gave up and let him sleep all night in it so he didn't drive me crazy.
oh, and anoushh, you have made me think back to my days of frequenting the UK (while living in paris, flights were cheap and my best friend was in school in london) and i am cringing at the memory of the crunchy, greasy fried food and limp, pasty men, all of whom seemed to be called "steve" and to have appalling taste in music.
Sep 28 2007, 04:17 AM
gren, omg you make me so glad my babies are 10 yyears apart. you are wonderwoman!
Sep 28 2007, 04:31 AM
Ok, so I usually defend ill equipted partners for giving at least some effort...but this time, gren's hubby is a farking a-hole. Forgetting to vaccuum 1 day post partum?!!? The not waking up, I can understand. Some men just don't. But the other household stuff...there is no.good.reason for him not to pick that shite up while you're recovering. And still working.
Sep 28 2007, 06:00 AM
shiny, does that mean i get to fly my invisible plane to a paradise island populated entirely by women?
oh, but mox! yesterday when i got home from my meeting, he'd used the bean's nap time (he got home from school ten min. after the beginning of the bean's nap, which was 1.5 hours late due to the aforementioned hanger-stuffing and book-throwing) to...
...REORGANIZE THE SPICE CABINET.
uh-huh. because that is such a high-priority activity.
part of the problem is that i'm the type of person who sprints through life (literally, as in my colleagues routinely look puzzled as they see me running from my office to class, meetings, or most often the campus cafeteria; they think i'm late, but really i just like sprinting around) and he is a taurus. he likes to wait to do things for the right moment, sit down, get settled, take a deep breath, start, get a cup of coffee, take another deep breath, have a sip of coffee...
(i'm describing the process of him writing an email, two lines long, to his advisor to cancel an appointment the other day. of course by this time i've already written a ten-page paper and vacuumed the house.)
i strongly suspect, tho, that with two small children in the house, the "right moment" to do things never comes, and you can forget moving at a leisurely pace through anything! i do think it would be easier to wait until the first one is at least in regular school and social.
anyhow. i just had this really weird dream that one of my colleagues called me and said, "she has trisomy...you should prepare for round-the-clock care and childhood death." referring to the baby. eek. (as far as i know she does not have any chromosomal abnormalities. she did worry me yesterday with how lethargic she was, though; i suspect she's trying to fight off the bean's cold, which is tough for a newborn..)
anyway, milk has been milked and diaper awaits. hope all you mamas got some rest!
Sep 28 2007, 06:45 AM
gren, what did you mean that missV is too little for pumped milk? Are you concerned with nipple confusion? I'm confused.
Maybe he thought the vaccuming would wake bean?
Anyway, I'm, as always, impressed at the sheer amount of stuff you have going on. Me? I dropped extracurriculars the moment moxette was born, and am wasted tired by 8:30. And, she's a good sleeper, 95% of the time, and she's not likely to be a tantrum kid (except last night).
Yeah, yesterday evening was ROUGH. Miss whineypants errupteted, and just as she took a whack at me AFTER a time out for fidginting with the stove knobs, moxieman called to say he had to work late. It wasn't terribly late, but I was crazy pissed anyway. I took a break from making dinner (cause of the whole whining episode...wanted attention during dinner making), and just read quietly to moxette until daddy got home. That worked. And, I didn't give into the whining. I waited until she was smiling to ask if storytime was on her agenda. Good mama.
One question for you all. How does one ignore an 18month old whining, when one is concerned for the said child's safety? Not be so concerned with safety? We still have a hard time not "being right there" to prevent climb-and-0falls, etc.
Sep 28 2007, 07:45 AM
moxie, 18 months was so long ago it is all a blurr. i will have to relearn everything. hope you are still around to ask advice of.
gren, invisible plane, paradice island, only women, yup, thats what it means. can you stop and pick me up though. i wan tot go too.
we got about 4.5 hrs sleep last night. that is much better than the night before. i for one hate antibiotics. i feel bad for lil. he wants to go to sleep and does for a few minuets but when i try to put him down he cries out. he seems to like tummy rubs and to be patted and bounced. we scheduled a voiding cystourethrogram for next tues. basicly this is to see if there is any reflux from the bladder to the kidneys. then we will not have to give the prophylactic antibiot. keep fingers and toes crossed that this was just a fluke and everything is fine.
Sep 28 2007, 08:30 AM
well, SOME sleep anyway. i should have wished you all 10 hours.... i'm feeling fine, but my up-every-two hours routine will have me dragging by noon.
oh, and mox, i too gave up extracurriculars...we barely even socialise. i just have too many curriculars!
sorry about the trying evening last night. i can relate. the mr has a long night at school every tuesday and i am not looking forward to being on single duty with the two for ten hours while also trying to answer questions and pretend i'm in the office.
that age is so hard for whining -- i did find that the bean's "alarm whine" and his "i'm testing whine" were different, though; if something was really amiss he was definitely sending an alarm and otherwise, well, i try to ignore it. there is a girl at our coop who SCREECHES when she doesn't get her way and i think it is the most annoying thing ever. she's the same age as the bean, not quite as talky but adequate, certainly, and she should know better. when her mom's there she screeches "mooooooommmeeeeee!" and her mom, obviously not enthralled with the sound, tends to screech back, "eeeeviiiiee!" (her name). i'd like to suggest that maybe that isn't the best way to make her stop, but i don't know them well enough...
vacuuming doesn't wake the bean as we have a giant HEPA/HEGA filter to clean all the benzene and formaldehyde and mold and pollen out of our air. we put it on 2 (which is like being in an airport runway) when he's napping so that the ambient noise/crying of crabber doesn't wake him (and to clean the air faster than the quiet setting).
and yeah, they recommend you not introduce a bottle until the baby is at least a couple of weeks old -- i think we did it with the bean around three-four weeks and it worked like a charm; he never had a problem. of course miss v. is a champ nurser already -- the bean took a while and we had to use a shield initially -- so maybe we could do a bit sooner, but 4.5 days old is a bit much.
shiny, here's crossing everything i have two of for your reflux check (i'm not using it for anything else, anyway...
Sep 28 2007, 12:49 PM
fiddler came over again today and i slept hard for three hours. feel great now! it is amazing what sleep can do for you! also, lil is not nearly so fussy! hope that keeps up.
Sep 28 2007, 01:00 PM
FOr all of us mamas who always feel like we miss the "mark," why not just be a Good Enough Mother?
Honestly...we all make choices and work hard to make our families happy ones. The choices we make may not always be the "best," clinically or academically, or scientifically, or emotionally according to anything, but I'd put a solid vegas bet down that they are the "best" for us and our own families.
SO, HUZZAH! for the GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER!
Sep 28 2007, 02:09 PM
That article is a godsend. I feel so guilty all the time for not being perfect for my kid: perfectly calm, perfectly poised, perfectly managing his time for maximum learning, and perfectly free of the rage and torment of real life.
I've never considered myself Stepford material. Why, then, this internal push to be a perma-smiling lobotomized soccer mom? It's time the moms of the world gave themselves a hand and a break.
Sep 28 2007, 03:23 PM
I'm telling you, read more of D.W. Winnicott who she mentions. His concept of the "Good enough mother" (that's his phrase, btw) is brilliant and oh so sanity saving! It's a kind of epiphany to realise that not only is it IMPOSSIBLE to be a "perfect' parent, but if somehow it was possible, you'd be doing your kid a great disservice. http://www.changingminds.org/disciplines/p...ough_mother.htm
It's not an excuse for bad parenting--not at all!--but like gren said before, you can use all kinds of things to justify bad parenting if you look hard enough for ways.
*Sigh*--this was the kind of thing I got to talk about/read about/work with all the time in my old job. I do miss it.
Sep 29 2007, 10:27 AM
thanx for the articles - i have read similar information before but having it all refreshed has helped my strength come back
had a particularly bad night, got really upset by a few comments my partner (who was pissed) made, and just wanted to back into a cave and hide and cry but i can't get away from my babe but i need my own space but i can't...
and then i realised i had to realise myself and assert myself strongly and forget about being a bloody martyr even if it pisses people off at least it's not my problem i have enough already
thanx for the space