Nov 15 2006, 02:39 PM
poodle, i want emmit to win, but i agree that mario is good too. in fact, i think mario did a better job last night. i don't usually watch, but i can't help myself when i flip past and it's on.
oh, and why not ask your friend to come over and watch the finale with you? you could take out some good food and buy some good beer? or was the "going OUT" part the main attraction?
Nov 15 2006, 02:43 PM
It's not just a matter of having a little breathing room. I've gotten used to having much less than I used to, and that's fine. I guess sometimes I just feel so bored and like I'm going through the motions. I don't know if that has anything to do with not having time for just myself. And then I wonder what it'd be like if we broke up, and I think I'd have no problem (the once or twice he was gone for a few days, I LOVED it - I was hoping he'd have to go out of town for a few days for his aunt's funeral, but she's being cremated and they're doing something for her in the spring - but I was looking forward to him being gone for awhile), but then I think that he's the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn't find anyone like him again, so I better not let him go because it's better to be with someone and slightly bored than alone with no prospects (even though I know that isn't necessarily true). I'm just so sick of having these minor freak-outs in my brain and not being able to get it out there, and I have them a lot. I just wonder if the rest of my life is going to be like this and if there will ever be anything exciting and new again, and it makes me really sad. Or maybe I'm just immature and can't be happy with what I've got so I want to sabotage it.
FJ, that's good that bomb-boy got a scare and got fired. I think it's kind of funny that the preacher-man had to tell a lie to make an impact on the kid, though.
Nov 15 2006, 02:52 PM
hehehe, yeah diva, i thought the same thing while i was sitting there listening to him spinning the whopper.
Nov 15 2006, 03:33 PM
diva- the single biggest hurdle moxieman and i had to deal with after living together for about 1 year was being bored. I SO hear ya, sista! Being together is a choice we make every day. We don't know the giant much around these here parts, but you and I seem very, very similar. And, I can say from the point of view of a stay-at-home capricorn type, that boredom is OK...it makes the spicy stuff spicier.
A trap we fell into was being too definite in our "roles" too early in our relationship...that led to major boredom and resentment on both sides. But, every single LTR goes through boring phases...with yourself and with him and with the relationship itself.
OK, moxette is kinda sick again (of course, b/c moxieman is away!), and she's been napping for close to 2 hours. I'm gonna go check on her. then, figure out dinner.
Nov 15 2006, 03:57 PM
Hmmm...I don't think you should worry too much about that yet, diva, unless it's completely occupying your thoughts. Maybe it's just that the exciting "new love" period is over, which is pretty much inevitable in every relationship.
Mario was unbefuckinglievable last night. Emmitt is a great dancer, but he looks like a guy who recently learned how to dance, whereas Mario looks like a total professional.
Okay, I'm gonna leave a half-hour early so I can get ready and have my friend come over earlier. I haven't seen her in a while, so I feel stupid asking her if she wants to watch TV tonight. I'll just try to get back before the end of the show.
Nov 15 2006, 04:17 PM
As much as I'd like to, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep up in here...but going back to the birthdays. Turning 38 seriously bummed me out because it's just a Leeeetle too close to 40. Heh.
Anyway, I lurk in here but I'm not good at jumping into conversations...but I'm feeling for your joys and pains. I hope those with pains get better, and those with joys...may they continue.
Nov 15 2006, 04:38 PM
no, sadly it was not umberto eco--it was a less famous italian semiotician whose name i am actually blanking on (giovanni.......? something......?), and a good portion of the professors from ucla's department of italian.
and i really just caught half a glimpse of kate but she looked as you would expect. a bit shorter. straighter hair.
Nov 15 2006, 04:57 PM
Hi everyone....I kept trying to post earlier, but things kept happening to distract me!
FJ, I'm kind of pissed at your boss! And I totally hear you on the biggest problem being HOW he came to his decision...I'm not christian, but still very spiritual, and I don't understand how praying leads one to the decision to lie and use psychological manipulation, and then to bring your employees in on the deception...and THEN to assume he is more qualified to assess the situation than experts in public safety! What if it hadn't "worked out"...and does anyone know for sure that it has worked out okay? I hope I'm not overstepping here, but I really think your boss is a dumbass for leaving his employees - including YOU - at serious risk! How does anybody know that guy is not going to take revenge for being fired? Did he have an expert inspect the building(s) for bombs? Or employ bomb-sniffing dogs? Not to mention, I'm pretty sure it's against the law to not report it - if anything violent DOES happen, your boss could be in serious (criminal) trouble for allowing his employees to remain at risk when he knows there is a potential for violence.
Again, apologies if I'm overstepping, but after my own experiences on the job, I've learned not to take threatening behaviour lightly, and I'm kinda worried for you....
poodle, I am in my late thirties, childless, marriage-less, house-ownership-less. Nobody treats me like I'm not a "real adult," I promise! Although I think sometimes families are guilty of doing that to one another, because we'll always be child/sibling to somebody! I'm really, really lucky that my mama takes a hands off approach to my life (and she doesn't think very highly of marriage as a goal), but I know lots of people (including Okayers!) put up with a lot of interference by "well-meaning" family members. And then there's all the right wing media hype and pressure from the religious right to achieve our most traditional "goal" of becoming wives, mothers, and homemakers, ugh. Also, I think if there are parents/married people/homeowners judging you for making different choices, then they are the ones who are likely feeling pretty insecure, and they probably have a need to validate their choices by "bringing you down" or by trying to convince you to want the same. So who cares what people like that think? The truth is, for every person who is judging you for what they think you're "not," there are probably a dozen people admiring and envying who you ARE, and the life you've chosen. Besides, for lots of people who "have all that," it isn't necessarily what it appears on the outside....many people are incredibly stressed out and even paralysed by the heavy debt burdens of home ownership and childrearing, and there are many people sitting around regretting their decisions to have kids and/or get married...they just don't talk about it. Lots of people even stay in unhappy (and sometimes abusive) marriages because of the burden of children/home/debt....wouldn't you rather be a cool rock 'n' roll artistic type, with a string of lovers to remember fondly, and the freedom to make whatever career and/or life choices suit you personally? Because that's what you ARE! And it's GOOD!
diva, I might be going against the grain of couplehood here, but I have to say, don't ignore that voice inside. I'm not saying you have to give up the relationship b/c you have doubts, but don't be afraid to examine what you're feeling, either. I think a lot of women go through the "is this it?" feelings, and it doesn't have to BE "it." Maybe there are some things you can do as a couple to make it "more," or maybe you need to reclaim some of yourself from your partner. It's no shame to be alone, and it's no crime to want that for yourself. Maybe you'll find you only need to work out a situation where you have more personal space. But also, I hope you don't think you have to settle for less than you deserve...it's okay to change your mind about what you want and need, too. Everybody grows and changes.
Ok, I'm starting to feel like I'm probably lecturing, and I don't mean to, so I'm going to stop!
I'm so excited to read about Molly and Jake playing tag!! Hurrah!
Hello also turbo, karianne, moxie, minxie, wombat, miz gb, mouse, sybarite, tesao, taloo, and treehugger, whom I see lurking!
I can't go to BFFdottir's b-day tonight. They live out in the sticks, and it's supposed to snow any time...I can see it already up in the hills. Snow + no winter tires = potential death or dismemberment! Yikes! I feel bad, but there's nothing I can do...there's no buses out there past 6:00...*sigh*
Nov 15 2006, 05:06 PM
ahem....um, can someone clue me in as to what a semiotician is? I'm too lazy to look it up right now...I've been wondering all day - its a wonderful sounding word.
I'm pretty tired this afternoon, but I'm resisting the nap, in favor of making a really healthy veg and brown rice stir fry for dinner, and then going to bed early. I'm currently sipping a mug o hot brewed ginger with honey. mmmm...good for my sore throat.
hi treehugger - nice to see you in here! And don't worry about keeping up with the pace of the thread - just jump on in!!
hi hi doodle! Bummer about missing BFFdottir's bday...but safety is a very good reason for staying home!
On a decor note, I am very happy to have my lovely burnt orange curtains this evening, with 30mph winds coming off the lake, and making a bit of a draft back there, in spite of my classy masking tape job on the doors. YAY curtains!
Nov 15 2006, 05:32 PM
roughly, turbo, semiotics is the philosophy of language...linguistic theory. signifiers, signifieds, etc. etc. smarty pants etc.
Nov 15 2006, 05:40 PM
doodle, you aren't overstepping at ALL. i agree with you whole-heartedly. while it DID work out, what would happen if it DIDN't. and, just to clarify, it's my client, not my boss. i am basically a contractor working for a different company but on his facility grounds. but, in that the client generates nearly $2million each year to my company, i'm pretty limited in the "putting down of my foot". no, he didn't report it or take any actions aside from checking the facility himself, although i have to add that it would be very difficult for the guy to get in after the shop closes, and everyone has been put on alert to look out for him and contact the 2nd shift manager if he shows up at night. i didn't think about the fact that he could get in trouble if anything did happen. you'd better believe i would be right there reporting all i knew about how he wanted to "just take care of it" himself. remember that list of reasons i'll be glad to rid myself of that place? add this to it...
diva, i have to admit that reading your post made me a little sad - and not in a "i feel sorry for you" way, but much like doodle, in a "it doesn't have to be that way" way. i think you should really examine the feelings that you are having. if you truly think you could just be sabotaging the relationship, then STOP IT! but if it's not right, it's not right. you shouldn't settle. think of how you'd feel years from now, as an old lady and possibly with children, thinkng that maybe you settled for something and wishing that you'd lived your life differently.
that being said, like moxie, i agree that there are going to be some boring parts of any LTR. and what poodle said about the infatuation period ending after a while. i know with me and mrfj, we sometimes fall into routines and while we're over the moon crazy for each other, we sort of trough. i wouldn't go so far as to say that i'm ever bored with our routines (because i have a greater threshold for the mundane perhaps) but i think he gets kind of antsy sometimes. eh, i think i'm a lot different from you anyway, as i don't need as much alone time to feel recharged... so maybe my relationship with mrfj isn't a good comparison.
but everyone should be happy and if you're less than that or find yourself wondering more than enjoying, definitely listen to your gut.
no need to keep up here! just chime in when something strikes your mood!
karianne, i think the rain you had this morning might be heading our way! it's supposed to be a wet thursday all day! boooo!
ok, gotta run...
Nov 15 2006, 05:49 PM
DOODLE! If anyone lectures in here, I'd want it to be you.
I know what you're saying. I have these momentary lapses in confidence, but then I slap myself back into reality. As far as the children thing, I pretty much operate on the assumption that I'm not gonna have any. I'm leaving room open for the possibility that my personality might change, but I doubt it. I'm always gonna have that "leave me alone, I'm playing with photoshop or sleeping or watching bad TV" type personality. I've been like that my entire life (moreso now, actually!). I don't see people with children as somehow "better" than me, probably because I can't stand kids for more than a few hours once a month. My mom says I'm becoming an anti-child person, but I think it just bothers her that I'm not as enthusiastic about them as she is. The only reason why I would want a kid is so that I could see what it looks like, give it a nice name, dress it in funky clothes, and then raise it to be cool. That's pretty much the motivation for everyone though. Truly. I was able to dump the whole "but who's gonna take care of you when you're old" thing a long time ago. Fuck that.
As far as marriage, there's a "worthiness" factor that really hits me, and a lot of it comes down to body image and that shit. I want to be wanted (Cheap Trick reference intended).
I think I just really need to get laid again.
Nov 15 2006, 06:30 PM
Ah, that sounds like a fascinating thing to be, doesn't it, mouse? I had it confused with etymologist when you first explained it, but that's more word origins, right?
turbo, I am very happy those beautiful orange curtains are working out for you!
Ok, now that I have a surprise free evening, I'm going to take tesao's suggestion and start a movie list for decoraholics....but I'll do it over in the Decor thread, if anyone is interested in contributing.
ETA: HOLY cross-post! Let me catch up...brb
Nov 15 2006, 06:39 PM
Hi all! I don't make it in here often enough.
Doodle, we're in the same boat. I'm also marriageless, childless, a non-home owner, etc. I don't even remember playing wedding as a little girl & Barbie was always some kind of high-powered career woman that inherited a baby from her flaky sister Skipper. Skipper was a rock star, by the way. I already raised three kids as a nanny, so I feel that job is done. And I like living as part of a community in an apartment. Anywho, I've always wanted a kind of creative, vagabond life. I want to see the world & do as much stuff as I can. Sometimes I think it may be my only child background that makes me enjoy my solitude so much. I went to so many places by myself in my mind as a kid that I don't see doing them with others. Maybe I'm just selfish.
The holidays are nigh & as though I don't dread them enough because of unhappy events coinciding, I will get the yearly grilling about my life/lifestyle. Admittedly, it's not as bad as it used to be because it's an unspoken assumption that I am a lesbian. I'm of a certain age, I have cats, I've lived alone except for when my mom lived with me, I've never brought a man home/don't talk about them, I do not wish to marry/propagate, I'm outspoken, I'm liberal, etc, etc, etc, & all of the other stereotypical attributes my small town, middle American clan have about what constitutes a lesbian. EG: I was left out of a wedding party (TWBJ!) because, "I know you don't like to wear dresses." Or the female family members' surprise that I knew who Shemar Moore was & that I thought he was really attractive.
However, I am in a re******ship (shhhh!) that will be six months strong in December. Not that I don't wish to ask him to accompany & meet my family, but... they're all nuts & he's socially retarded. My one aunt will be all up in arms because he's white & an atheist & I have one redneck uncle that will not be impressed that he went to both Stanford & MIT. "Ain't them liberal colleges? *spits chaw juice*" It'd be like dropping a sweet little ewe into a tank of starved pirahna. I'd rather suffer in solitude than have him be miserable, too. I'll be drunk/stoned the whole time anyway, so not much company.
Nov 15 2006, 06:47 PM
Yes, etymologists study the history and origins of words. I love that shit--all of it. Language is so marvelous, abstract, and fluid. And yeah, arbitrary. One of my favorite things to do with the ex was watch these language lectures on DVD...all of these famous professors from famous colleges spouting forth golden tidbits. Gads, I love that shit. I teach etymology to my students, and they really glom onto it. But semiotics? Oh deary me...I think that I now need to masturbate.
Math Baron and I talked for three and a half hours last night on the phone. He took a "how much of a slut are you" test on some website that I suggested (how very droll of me) and scored about a 56%. I think that's enough kink with which to work. I think that this weekend will be rife with horror movies and intersting discussions. He looked so fucking cute today. Normally, he's a jeans and button-down kinda guy, but today he wore dress pants and a tie. WHOOT! He cleans up quite well. The sexual tension is starting to become articulated and I am simply rivetted. He invited me to this wine and cheese tasting that the French Club was putting on tonight, but I have the Minxlette and really wanted to spend my last night with her. I am perfectly satisfied with my choice, but DAMN! He looked HOTT!! I got to spend this morning ogling him during our late start meeting. Fun!
But Diva, I get completely scared at the prospect of a LTR partner, as well. It's the shit that makes me want to run far and fast. I don't know what to say about it other than it sounds like you really love him to smithereens and to echo others in here by saying that you should probably take more time to yourself.
Turbo, I am so happy for you that you had an awesome acupuncture session. I am going to call up my massage therapist and schedule an appointment ASAP.
Nov 15 2006, 07:24 PM
Thanks for the welcome! I guess I'm a bit socially inept....heh. FJ, I'm going to be thinking about you and the whole bomberwannabeguy.
I absolutely lurve etymology, myself. My guy thinks I'm a geek....I'm also a decoraholic like Doodle!
I'm not feeling real great tonight...breathed too much ammonia today. We had a leak in a refrigeration system. Think Bo-PeepX1000. I think I'm burping ammonia. Yuk.
Anyway, everybody, have a great evening!
Nov 15 2006, 07:48 PM
FJ, that's just a crappy thing to have to experience at work. I do understand what you mean about wanting to get out. Ugh. It's a tough position to be in.
poodle, I hear ya on the self-image factor. We get tripped up as women by having to somehow "prove" we are good enough to attract a man and keep him! And then you're dismissed as a "feminazi" if you don't want to play that game, or if you try to play it with different rules!
AP, girl, you DO need to stop by here more often!
I hear you on the creative vagabond thing! Mine was always the creative hermit dream, I think. I always envisioned myself living on the water's edge, in a little cottage, just writing and painting and creating stuff, and...oh wait. It's true, though, now that I think about it. I always had these two goals in life, really, or not goals, but things I knew I was "supposed" to do: I wanted to make a difference, to do something of value to the world, and especially, hopefully, to do something for women (this was long before I even knew about things like women's centres); and then I've always felt like I "had" to create, and especially to create visual art. Always. (I blame early-aged readership of the Wonder Woman comics for the first part.) So I've always held onto this "artist's cottage by the water" fantasy, and I always imagined it coming some time after I saved the world.
I do sort of imagine sharing the artists' cottage life with someone, but I never get a picture of who it is...I always figure I'll know "who" when the time comes - if it comes, though I'm kind of ambivalent - if it doesn't happen, I won't drench the pillows in tears! I never saw kids in the vision, and I never saw it as "marriage" (b/c for me, personally, legal/societal "marriage" holds no symbolic meaning regarding true commitment). I always sort of knew that being wife and mother, in this society, would make getting to the "important art" really hard - I got a sense that I wasn't going to be able to "fit it in," heh. I don't mean I see it as that way for every woman, but I see it as the truth for ME. I know I would have regretted going down that road, and I would have seethed with resentment for the years I'd feel were taken from me.
So yeah. If people want to judge me for that as not being a "real adult," or refusing to grow up, or whatever's going on in their heads, fuck 'em. I've got too much shit to do to worry about it.
And my family is too small for them to bend me to their will, though "live and let live" would be closer to a family motto. (We've been through a lot together already.) My mom, brother, and I basically form a small, introverted family of artistic/musician types...and we tend to avoid the rest of the family, for the sake of our own mental and emotional well-being!
I know all about your r-word, AP, I told ya I was living vicariously through you in Crushes!
ETA: thread. moving. too. fast. Too much pondering on my part. Hi minxie! Hi treehugger!
Nov 15 2006, 07:51 PM
Mmm...fresh meat! Hey AP and Treehugger. I am just braindead tonight.
ETA: Doodlebug, you are such a totally munchable feminazi.
(((Incubator FJ's))) I think about you all the damned time.
Nov 15 2006, 08:02 PM
((((((tree's bod)))) Eeeeew....burping ammonia does not sound like fun.
Mmmmmm....spending a lifetime on the theology of language....now that sounds *fascinating!*
Wowza...the temp is rising between minxy and MB!! I'm lovin' it!
I wish I had the decoraholic streak...I seem to have spicy sizzles, but that's about it. I clearly need to spend more time in the decor thread.....
Nov 15 2006, 08:05 PM
totally ot, but y'all gotta turn on cnn glenn beck there is this amazing special on about iran and it is freaking me the fuck out. it's running again at 12 but basically it feels like another holocaust, you should see how many people are chanting "death to america" and their media is saying stuff like "pepsi stands for 'pay each penny save israel'" it's so crazy check it out!
yes i posted this in another thread but dudes, i had NO idea! i mean i knew people hated america but this is freaky
Nov 15 2006, 08:13 PM
Waaaaa....all I have here is Larry King Live! Booooo.
I love all the special guests in here tonight!! Hahahaha....we shall lure you all into the soft, warm cuddle puddle that is okayland!
Word, minxy. Ditto here on the thinkin' of the FJs all the time. I'm just so thrilled for okayland's cutest (lewdest) couple!
Nov 15 2006, 08:32 PM
This minx/baron thing is grrreat!! I can totally envision the whole thing. It's like movie quality shit! Squeeeee!!!
"munchable feminazi" Bwahahaha!!
I'm soooo with you guys on the solitude thing. I, too, see myself living in a little cottage somewhere in a quiet, natural place! It wouldn't really be an artist's cottage--more of a "weird lady who collects junk" cottage. I was the youngest out of three kiddos and my bro and sis were old enough that I ended up doing a lot of playing on my own. I have the same imagination thing going on, aural. There are just too many ideas in my brain to commit to marriage, parenthood, and/or a career. I need to accept the likelihood that it will be difficult to find a partner with the same imagination and eccentricity. One thing that I never waver on is my desire to lead a simple and sustainable life that involves animals. It would be cool to find someone who is interested in the same, but doesn't fall into the "hippie" stereotype. I don't want to get locked into any specific lifestyle. I'm as free as a bird...and this bird you cannot change.
OH MY GOD!!! Emmitt Smith won Dancing with the Stars!! I'm amazed!! I thought for sure that Mario Lopez would win. Ah well, I guess I don't really care. I mostly just wanted those guys to stay on the show so that I could ogle them. They're both hot.
Nov 15 2006, 08:41 PM
Indeed, poodle, I agree on the Emmitt-Mario hottness factor. I haven't watched much of this season, though. For all who love Dancing with the Stars, I *command* you to watch the next season of So You Think You Can Dance...now that show is FUN! Its so much more interesting to watch real actual talented dancers try on dance styles outside their expertise...good stuff.
Nov 15 2006, 08:52 PM
Damn, 7:00 and no snow yet - am I ever going to feel guilty for not going to the b-day party if there's no snow tonight!
Nov 15 2006, 09:04 PM
You will all have to excuse me while I sit here and bathe in the pap.
Nov 15 2006, 09:18 PM
wow, all these special appearances! woot! AP, i've been stalking you in the crush thread too and elsewhere. you are surely a celeBUSTie. and treehugger is playing (even though she should probably be detoxing in a nice hot eucalyptus tub- ammonia burps! blech!) ! and maddy is bringing us the media coverage (which i caught the last bit of and it was truly upsetting, but as looking said, not incredibly shocking).
please, pull up an OKAY chair or floor pillow; the leopard print lip-shaped sofa in the corner? you know, the one with the dried whipped cream (at least i think that's what that is...) is reserved for tes and doodle for impromptu makeout sessions...
doodle, better to be safe than a pile of brokeness in a snowdrift, right? i'm sure she'll understand. how much are snow-tires? can you buy snow-chains or is that more trouble than it's worth? *asks the florida girl*
see, turbo, i watched so you think you can dance
when it premiered last season and i got bored pretty quick. although, it surely has it's moments. i love it when people get knocked down to size! i have to admit that i was pretty happy to see emmitt win. but i am partial because he played football for UF, so i've been following his career for oh, over 15 years. gah! but mario was excellent. and i'll go ahead and confess now that i was in tears during all the little interviews with the star's families and all that. shit. i MUST have some crazy hormones floating around in me.
i was actually flipping from biggest loser to dancing with the stars and then to top chef, and somehow manages to find a reason to BLUBBER AT ALL OF THEM!
guys, you are all so sweet for sending me vibeage and mind-melds all the time. i truly can feel it. you guys are so great. i know that many of you don't want your own kiddos and that's perfect for you, but i really appreciate your support. i promise i won't do ya wrong! mrfj and i will hopefully create a loving, accepting, respectful, individual COOL kid that will make everyBUSTie proud. much like our resident minxlette. *stops before she blubbers again*
poodle, i know you'll take this with the spirit it's intended: i can TOTALLY see you living in a "wierd lady that collects junk" cottage. hehe. but you can refer to it as "ecclectic" rather than wierd. and it'll be the kind of place that everyone will want to visit and no one will forget. you can sell souvenier beer mugs.
i can't believe that it's after 10 and it just took me a half hour nearly to catch up on here... this is awesome!
Nov 15 2006, 09:46 PM
*tiptoes around okayland sofa mystery stains*
Awww....I love me some blubbering FJ! So sweet!!
That is all...time for beddy-bye for me! See you chicas in the morning!
Nov 15 2006, 10:11 PM
FJ, I am glad they bombguy got canned, but the whole "I am gonna pray on it" thing really irks me.
Diva, sorry you are going through a rough patch w/ giant. J and I have been together for close to 9 years. We spend so much time together. I like my alone time more than he does. Alot of times if we go out with mutual friends, sometimes I will opt out so I can be alone. We do go through times of boredom too. Thing is, are your feelings for him so intense that you can get past the snags?
It is awesome to see some new folks in here. Hello.
Wombat, I like your new avitar.
Poo on Moxxette getting sick.
Woooooot. I. have. a. house.
Nov 15 2006, 10:32 PM
*pads over to poke his nose in*
I don't know why I don't check this thread more. It's got great peeps in it.
I was thinking about the whole marriage & kids track today, too. I'm married, and we're sorta trying to psyche ourselves up for having kids in a couple years or so. We just don't feel like adults yet, though. I'm 36, but I just wanna be a kid still. On the other hand, I'll be able to do a bunch of the kid stuff along with (and vicariously through) any kids we have. I sorta look forward to kids, but not babies. Does that make sense?
And yeah, I mourn the loss of the New Relationship Energy more than my wife does, I think *sigh* and ditto about wishing I had more alone time. How much is enough alone time, though? I hate it when I know that the alone time is about to be over in X number of minutes, and I feel guilty for not cleaning sections of the house when I could have.
I sure hope you all find your dream shacks
I tended to always picture a house with a big room in it entirely devoted to playing with stuff. It would be my mad-scientist-toy-inventor-laboratory. Think of the movie, The Absent-Minded Professor (or if you're younger, Flubber).
Aaaanyway... just poking a nose in 'cause you'se all is groovy.
Nov 15 2006, 11:07 PM
Wow, lookit all the new visitors! I cain't believe it! I'm overwhelmed!
Seriously, I can't keep up.
No, actually, I did read everything.
I think maybe I should look for a mad scientist type who can give me lots of space...but not too absent-minded, otherwise nobody will remember to make dinner.
Tonight I was toooooo lazy to cook, but I did happen to make extra salad last night....soooooo tonight dinner was romaine, raddichio (sp?), and radishes, with raspberry walnut vinaigrette, and, like, a TON of crushed walnut pieces sprinkled on top. I used up the stash of walnuts, in lieu of having to cook an actual protein...so now it's sunflower seed salads, from here to payday.
FJ...well, you can only use chains on the highway, really, and BFF's place is about 20 minutes away, part city streets, part highways...it wouldn't be realistic, but actually, I've never needed chains, even driving over the mountain passes in winter...as long as I have good snow tires. But my car is almost a goner - i.e., not worth the money it would take to fix everything - so I just don't want to invest $400 in one season worth of tires.
Still no snow. Ja. BFFdottir was so sweet when I phoned: "Oh no, don't feel bad, I totally understand, mom explained about the tires"...it's too bad punker kids get "typed" 'cause they're not really all that scary. She pretended to be embarrassed about the condoms in the b-day grab bags, but I could tell she was thrilled...and I could "feel" her glaring at me through the phone when I told her the bananas were *my* idea!
I'm feeling kind of depressed and anxious tonight. It's just about passed, but it comes in waves. I know it's the pressure of the move and closure, and getting everything done - I feel completely overwhelmed and in over my head right now - but it's also PMS, judging by the timing. Who knows? I may be bleeding all over this chair as I type.
I was going to go to bed early, but the salad woke me up, I think. Paul Newman's raspberry walnut vinaigrette is my new favourite thing.
ETA: HOLY FUCK!!!!! TALOO HAS A HOUSE!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!!!!!!
Nov 15 2006, 11:10 PM
I totally know what you mean about the babies thing, lorewolf. Babies are adorable, but they're so demanding and they don't do a whole lot other than eating, sleeping, pooping, and crying. I love it when they start to respond. I love kids when they're just starting to socialize--about ages 2 to 4. They're so honest and sooo funny!! I also love watching my nephies on holidays. I think it might be a nostalgia thing. It's a way to relive the excitement of being young.
If I had a child, planned or not, I'm certain that I would adore it. I would probably go crazy caring for that child like I do with my cats--but moreso. The difference is that my cats poop in a box and sleep most of the day even if I try to play with them. They also won't resent me in 10 years (I hope) and I don't have to save up money for them to go to college. So yeah, it's a good deal. We'll see. Maybe in 10 years there will be a poodle-pup living in that earth-bermed passive solar home of mine.
"celeBUSTie" Ha! I like that term!
Nov 15 2006, 11:32 PM
He he... for the record, Doodlebug, I'm the cook of the house. You do have a point, though. Sometimes we don't eat until 9:00 because I'm trying to make a masterpiece. Last night, I baked a "Pringlesfish." It was salmon covered in a crust of crushed pringles, beer, macadamia oil, fresh garlic, and spices, served with a salad and garlic smashed potatoes.
Pink Poodle, mercifully, they're only babies for a few years. I'm looking forward to Christmas and Halloween with children. Still, couldn't we just pressure my brother-in-law to have kids and just be their favorite aunt & uncle? I'll have to take some notes from the people pressuring some of you guys
Nov 16 2006, 07:20 AM
welcome lorewolf!!! We need more boys 'round here!! Our beloved tommynomad seems to have forgotton all about us here post-wedding!
Talooo!!! Congrats on the closing!! You must be exhausted after closing and then moving stuff all day! Be sure to keep us posted on all your progress in the move and decorating!
Hmmm...I think I'm just not wired for kids, 'cause I can't think of a particular age that I would be looking forward to. I do, however, love being an auntie....though at the moment, a neglectful auntie, as I have yet to mail my neice and nephie's b-day presents out...oh well. They're still young enough where they'll be happy to get a present anytime - date's not important yet.
I think I'm gonna have to check out that walnut-raspberry dressing. Or maybe I'll make up some raspberry vineager this weekend and make my own, so I can control what goes in it. I love reading labels and making stuff myself.
So today is the big day for turbomann....can I get some vibes this morning??? His meeting with the bosses is at 10:30am CST...I'm not even sure what we're hoping for here, but any change at all would be good, I think.
Nov 16 2006, 07:37 AM
(((doodle)))) My magic hugs take away depressed feelings. If the FDA could bootle them I'd be a very rich lady.
Lorewolf, welcome. Now that we have a boy in here, I'd best stop running around the thread w/ my tatas hanging out. I am a lady of decorum, you know.
Thanks for the congrats y'all.
Turbo, I am not wired for kids either. At all. I think our parents (well not J's dad) have finally excepted that there will be no grandbabies. I do love my nieces and nephews to bits though.
I won't be around at all today, I have painting to do. See you all later!
Nov 16 2006, 08:05 AM
Ok, so i may be posting on something old-news...i'll catch up in a sec.
Diva- I'm not sure that "more time for yourself" is necessairly the answer either. You can get bored with your own internal routines, too, ya? Which makes LIFE boring, which makes the relationship boring. You defnintly sound like a punch-up is needed...alone (time alone), together, he/you, whichever...all of the above. Is there any activity you've always wanted to try and haven't? We started dance class together...it made a whole world of difference.
ok, off to finish archive reading.
edit- VIBES for turbomann...yeah job changes!
Nov 16 2006, 08:25 AM
Good Morning! Wow, there is lots of new peeps in here. Welcome!
I think today should be Friday. It feels like Friday. I vote that it should be changed to Friday. Do I hear a second?
It is threatening to rain here again today. I want sunshine! Maybe it's saving it all up for the weekend. That would be nice.
((doodles)) are you feeling better today? you have so much happening lately, I don't doubt that you feel anxious. *hands over a hot cup of peppermint tea w/ honey* Take a load off, doll.
Diva, I must agree with whoever said to listen to your feelings (FJ?). I think there is a difference btw simply being stuck in a rut in a relationship & being with the wrong person. It takes time to figure it out though. Also like FJ said, relationships ebb & flow. Mr K & I are in an ebb right now. I think it's b/c we've both been so busy & are not connecting. It always switches back at some point though. I'd wait & see if things with the Giant do that. In any case...((diva)).
Lorewolf, I am fascinated by your pringlefish! Was it good? I bet it was.
Moxie, is Moxette feeling any better?
Hi Jenn, Wombat, Poodle, mouse, Ms GB, sybarite, auralp, & everyone else!
Nov 16 2006, 08:48 AM
it's wet, rainy and chilly here. BAH!
karianne, i second the motion to abolish the day and move on to friday. and that's exactly what i'm going to do! hehehe. i am taking tomorrow off work and just learned from my lovely dearest husband that i have a HALF DAY AT THE SPA coming to me for my birthday!!! and he even scheduled it for 11:30a, so i can sleep in to my heart's content!
my only concern is that it includes an hour aromatherapy massage and i'm not sure if that's safe for pregnant girls. i've heard conflicting accounts. so i might see if they'll switch it to a prenatal massage instead. but i get a facial, a shampoo and blowout, a manicure, an eyebrow wax, makeup application and lunch! wowsers! i'm so excited!
so, obviously, i'm totally wired for kids. i am looking forward to the baby-time, the toddler time, but most of all that time when they're able to really communicate their thoughts with me. i want to know my kids as teens, (even when they hate me) and then later adults. it just fascinates me for some reason. and no, i not all about raising a kid so someone will take care of me when i'm old. i hope to be able to take care of myself (as in arrange for all my own care should i need it, etc).
but i'll admit to being a little overwhelmed with things lately, thinking about the actual mechanics and logistics of taking care of an infant. i KNOW i will be able to do it. but it's really a scary thing to think about!
YAY for taloo and her new house!!!!! exciting! woot!
and yum! pringlefish!?! that sounds great!
Nov 16 2006, 09:18 AM
Golly, fj. You sound like you have the best husband ever. I'm SO jealous. *swoon*
Nov 16 2006, 09:20 AM
watch out, them is fightin' words!
Nov 16 2006, 09:41 AM
Yow, it took forever for me to read through the archives! Thanks for the compliments on the avatar, taloo!! I'm gonna play with this little dinky poopy badly situated camera a lot! Congratulations on the house! Boy, that's a big deal, just make sure to get some rest as soon as possible!
Also! Welcome, AP! I don't "see" enough of you! Probably because I can hardly ever figure out the quotes to those movies! Tonight me and Batman will watch "From Here to Eternity" (which I always want to call "From HER to Eternity" after the Nick Cave song!) and "The Secret of Roan Inish." They should be quotable, should the occasion arise that I actually manage to get a quote!
celeBUSTie is a cool term, falljackets! Better than Bust-lebrity, though that was reasonably cool! And I must say, there are only one or two "busties" trollacious ones, that I would dislike or distrust, for gaw's sake!
Hooray for me, I jumped into the sex threads -- rare!
Thanks for the explanation of semiotics mouse -- I knew it had to do with signs and signifiers, but saw it applied to web page icons and nav back in the day, so thought it was more limited to visuals. That IS great stuff. Noam Chomsky has a not-entirely-proven theory that languages with very different origins (etymology) wlll signify the same concepts with similar verbal/consonant sounds (semiotics). He's a local -- MIT professor, I've seen him speak and seen him at rallies and all.
William S. Burroughs also gets into language -- he says language is a sickness, a virus, it constructs your version of reality and is passed to you when you are too young to resist, and you can't see the alternative realities any more because all your perceptions have to be in that language. Same thing Carlos Castaneda says that Don Juan said. And he did Heart kittles! He did a whole book later called "The Cat Inside" about how he learned to be a caring person, and about how the cat represents our soul (traditional Japanese idea) and about, literally, cats he has known.
Most people don't understand that he wasn't promoting evil, he was moving beyond it and trying to give people the stepping stones. It's cool that he and Herman Hesse have some non-OMG this is so serious!! moments.
Doodlebug - I was thinking about you and I want to say, if you're living in a summer cottage I didn't mean to be snotty about it -- it's just BRRRRRR!!!! Having grown up in a snowy, cold small town in a house with an inadequate heating system, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. However, I would love to live overlooking water one day. I am a water spirit, it makes me feel happy instantly. I'm dreaming of Venice Beach actually, cause I also like cities! And, FAlljackets, you make Florida sound like so much fun! I mean, the nightlife and stuff. Also, doodlebug, I must give you credit for finding yet another job in a small town, besides teacher/doctor/sawmill operator/farmer/gas station employee or long-time commuter -- how cool is it that you made your own job and own life? If you're feeling scared a bit, well, no more or less than I am or other people in transition are. You spun a really good life out of nothing, that takes strength of soul, then, it was time to move on, and you moved on, with strong soul handling it well, so trust that you will do well doing something new!
And! PinkPoodle! I know what you're saying! Which is you *wan*t an LTR and a house but not nec. kids. And you are being told it is not happening because you are overweight. But!!! Not true!!! It sucks when people say stuff like that! I am friends with two overweight women who are cool hipsters like you and they both have the marriage/house package. So, fuck'em, have fun dressing up and going out and find a guy that likes the same stuff you do. They are out there! Fuck the stupid internet and stupid moms...
(sorry, moms on this thread)
Also, moxie, I wanted to compliment you on your Flickr stuff, cause I thought you and your hair and your husband and your kid and your house (what I could see of it) all look really nice!
Ugh, it is raining, chores and widgets call!
Turbo! Any chance of you taking a couple spa days to chill out and rebuild your immune system? And "spa days" can be defined pretty loosely -- get the hot tub/sauna at the gym, get the makeup at a department store, get the hair at a beauty school, as well as the massage/acupuncture at schools. Or mine own 'Home Spa Day" which is long soaks in bath with full body face hair moisturizer, mine own mancure, lots of water oranges and chicken stuff, and reading silly fashion magazines -- cures what ails! Also, long journal scribblins.
Ack, long ass post for long ass archives!! Won't see y'all till tomorrow! Widget programming mania!
Nov 16 2006, 09:48 AM
Hey, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FJ!!!
The big issue, if i remember correctly with massage, is laying on your back for an hour. A pre-natal should give you a body pillow to cuddle up to.
Any big plans for the weekend??
eta: thanks for the moxette vibes...she's just got a little cold- she's doing just fine now. Sniffle, snot bubble, laugh, play. Repeat. Its cute and gross at the same time.
FJ's- infant care is easy, once you get to know your kidlet a little bit. Diapers, boob/bottle, cuddles, carseat. That's about it at the beginning. You can always poke around here to get pointers, too!
Nov 16 2006, 10:01 AM
Can I get some ((((VIBES)))) for turbomann??? He should be heading into the big meeting about now...
((((((good outcomes for turbomann))))
I'm dying of curiousity here...I just wanna KNOW!
Yeah, wombat, I think a self-care weekend is in desperate need. I think I'd be feeling a lot better if I had a working water heater too...we're still living with the half working one, and I miss my nightly baths! Waaaa! I didn't get a chance to talk to turbomann about next weekend yet, I figure we'll get through today first.
ETA: Happy Birthday FJ!!! Is it tomorrow? Lots to celebrate this year, I'd say!
Nov 16 2006, 10:07 AM
*~$*~$*~$*~$*~$*~$*~turbomann good outcome whatever happens vibes*$~*$~*$~*$~*$~*$~
(tj, today is the big day for me! i'm just taking tomorrow off because i want the three day weekend!)
oh, and wombat, i finally refreshed mys creen. i love the pic!
Nov 16 2006, 10:51 AM
~*~*~*~*~*~super bustie vibes for turboman~*~*~*~*~
Happy fucking birthday, FJ!!!
How many years are you?
Crap, the republican was singing "Last Christmas" by George Michael and now I have that stuck in my head. Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day
You threw it away
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special!!
Wombat, you're talking to a Canadian and bunch of Minnesota broads!!! I'm actually glad to live in a cold-ass place because it keeps away the annoying overly-tanned, skinny people. The problem is that the weather has been pretty mild here for the last 10 years. This is why I want to move waaaay up north, maybe even to Canada. I would move to Manitoba, but I have this Minnesota pride/loyalty thing. It's familiar and safe, and I'm not one to leave the comfort of home.I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher, teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Til the end of time!
Hee! That reminds me singing Father Figure with minx on her front porch, while the ex-resident boy sat there in amazement. Deep down I know he liked it.
Nov 16 2006, 11:11 AM
ETA: Just got the call from Turbomann! He is free from evil pharma land!!! Unfortunately, he was just flat out fired, not laid off, so no severance package, which will make life financially creative, but we'll manage. He's gonna drive down here, and we're going to go out to lunch and celebrate. And then file for unemployment.
That's just like poodle, to come swooping in here and put george michael in my head! I've been humming along since I read the post a few minutes ago! drat!
George Michael definitely occupied a good portion of my formative years. hee.
Nov 16 2006, 11:31 AM
dude...3 fricking pages to catch up on....gah....
Lorewolf..welcome! as for getting the siblings to procreate before you do...just point fingers and say 'you first'. works for us. Currently, i have 7 nephews, a niece, and another on the way....one brother still hasn't gotten into it yet and my little sis isn't even attached yet so she's got a bit to go. as for us....well, all the okayers know about molly...and she was crying last nite....woke me up..i had to rub her belly to get her to fall back asleep. aww. my little non fur fur babies.
anyhoo...i got off track there...uh...oh yeah.
(((fj fetal vibeages)))))
*throws confetti* happy birthday FJ!!!! oooo a spa day?! color me jealous....i'd go for the prenatal massage....just to be sure.
(((((turboman jobby job vibes))))
poodle, my goals back in H.S. were and are the same as they are now....to buy a house for me and my dog. no job goals, no hubby or procreating goals either....now i don't have a dog at this time, but i've got plans..and mr.gb is going along with them for now. and he wasn't planned either! Just do what you want...and don't let others influence you otherwise that you're missing out on 'the best thing of your life'...uh thats an opinion buddy...keep it to yourself!
just my honest opinion...hehe.
hi doodle, kari, AP, lorewolf, poodle, turbo, moxie, fj, mr.fj, diva, taloo, treehugger, wombat, minx, and anyone i missed....
diva, its perfectly normal to want 'alone' time. heck, half of my weekends are spent with friends i met thru mr.gb....so i'm claiming them as 'mine' now. but he wants the downtime, so i let him have it. i'm sure the giant will understand. absence makes the heart grow fonder they say....sometimes i need a vacation.
its officially a week till turkey day.....i...cannot....wait!!!!!
Nov 16 2006, 11:33 AM
That was my intention, turbo--to infect all of you with the George Michael virus.
I will be your....FAAATHER!!!
I'll be your daddy!!
Yay for no more crappy work for turboman! I'm sure you guys will be okay. You're a creative. I didn't know that fired people can get unemployment. I thought you had to be laid-off.
ETA- Hi gb! Awwww...poor molly baby...See, now, if it was a human baby in the middle of the night, then I'd get irritated. Human babies have such loud, shrill cries. Baby animal cries are sweet though (to a certain extent).
Nov 16 2006, 11:50 AM
congratulations on being free, turboman--and **vibes** for a good unempoyment package and a new better job around the corner.
hi ladies (and new ladies and gentleman--getting a little crowded in here! *picks up sledgehammer, knocks out back wall, builds new addition* who's gonna help me decorate this? doodle? tree?)
i totally agree with kari's motion to skip this item on the agenda and move on to friday.
hehe.....when i was a wee teenager i was part of the working group (sort of quaker type of organization committee) for the quaker youth group i was in and the first item on the agenda was ALWAYS "chocolate chip soda bread".
i am the same as fj and poodle--i think if i had a kid, i'd love it to death and love taking care of it and teaching it things and watching it grow up and become its own person. talking to a certain age of child (7 years old, give or take a few i find) is REALLY interesting and entertaining. i worked at the children's program at the mfa when i lived in boston and listening to the kids talk about their drawings was so cool. i will always remember this one little boy who took forever to draw about five really elaborate pages and then told me the entire story, which was something along the lines of there was a treasure chest that belonged to these dinosaurs, but then pirates went back in time to steal it from them, and then the dinosaurs had to outwit the pirates to get their treasure back. AWESOME.
but, then again, if it doesn't happen i don't find yet that i have any sort of biological clock so i don't think i'll mind. i could actually see myself adopting, definitely. but not for a long time. of course, who knows? i could fall in love tomorrow and be married and breeding within the year........NOT!
(whatever else you may think about it, i love how the borat movie has resurrected the "not" joke)
i can totally see poodle living in a little weirdo cottage chock full of awesome stuff, giant welded sculptures in the backyard and posters of axl on the wall.....
i wanna end up in a big ol' farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere with a ton of half-feral barn cats and a pond and some chickens and a fat vegetable garden, brewin' my own biodiesel and painting murals on the walls.
wombat, i'm familiar with chomsky but i didn't know about that theory--that's really interesting. is he saying sort of that we as humans have a predilection for using a certain noise to represent a certain meaning? that's pretty cool. when i get all eggheady about stuff like this (in small doses or else when i'm stoned--HA!) i love the structuralists and post structuralists--derrida, lacan.......one of the reasons i fell for coffee boy was because i found out that he's working on a translation of baudrillard...of course, i've lost all respect for him now since he's neglected to even bother to REPLY.
oh and i totally forgot to say HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY to FJ!!!!!
(anyone who gets that reference gets a cookie)
(fj gets a cookie anyway because its her birthday)
and i hope our resident bebeh gets over her snot-bubbles soon. speaking of resident bebehs, where's tart?
minxie, you got another hot date this weekend? math baron doesn't by any chance have a single younger brother living in LA, does he?
ETA: hi miss gb! is it too hot where you are too? wtf? (speaking of wtf, have you ever seen the l.a. vietnamese restaurant called "what the pho"? cracks my shit up EVERY TIME)
Nov 16 2006, 12:13 PM
YAY! for turbomann. i think it's awesome that you guys are going to celebrate, even though it might cause some financial strain. here's to a really great unemployment package and a really good job to follow! enjoy the time off while you can, turbomann!!!!
(and yes, poodle, you can be given unemployment if there was no performance/attendance or other issue that the employee could have improved upon; if the job description changed or the company downsizes or the position was abolished, then it's fair game. that's likely why they didn't offer him severance - they likely already have to carry and pay for unemployment insurance and they might as well take advantage of it.) at least that's how they do it down here in florida-land!
thanks for all the birthday well-wishing! it's really a great one so far. i took myself to lunch (wouldn't have had it any other way since i don't really LIKE anyone here at my worksite and mrfj is an hour away) and had a great sandwich and soup at the park (while in my car as the temp has dropped today with the rain). i was sitting there contemplating my first thirty years and i started crying thinking about how wonderful the past five years of my life have especially been and how lucky i am that i can look forward to spending all my days with mrfj. i literally had to dry my face and force myself to think of something else. so i listened to fresh air about thanksgiving dinner tips. even though thanksgiving will be at MILs this year.
oh, and i called the doc and spoke to my midwife about aromatherapy massage. she said to be sure to tell them i'm pregnant and that they shouldn't use any oils that would increase my heart rate or heat up on the skin. i might have them do a half and half prenatal/aromatherapy one. i'm relly looking forward to the facial. i have never had one professionally done!
yum, chocolate chip soda bread? that sounds pretty tasty to me...
mouse, i love that story about the kid at the art class. i used to work at a day care and would ask the kids about their drawings. it was funny how often the kids would relay VERY elaborate stories about their basic stick figure drawings. it was obvious they were making it up as they went along. but so imaginative!
Nov 16 2006, 12:16 PM
turbomann...boo on getting canned with no severence....yay on new opportunities to come your way!!!
hi poodle! she was, imoh, half awake and confused as to where she was....which is totally normal. and i expected this...so she's got a ways to go...we still haven't introduced her to the rest of the house, mom, her harness, but she's catching on to what the treat can sounds like and whats in it. which is good, cuz i use the pavlov dog theory to help train them to come back to me if they get outside or lost in the house. yes, i'm odd cuz i train my cats like dogs. but it works. i swear.
i'm working on a sweater for her now....hehe