Oct 16 2006, 02:07 PM
actually diva, most of the ladies i went to dinner with were originally from new york, one of them was just visiting actually. i think nyc folk are a lot more aggressive about their careers than people are in LA; though i think LA is more about do-it-yourself and new york is more about work-for-the-big-guys. but even so, the friend who was the connection there is a big pr person and the same age and whatnot, and she's totally cool and fun and real, and my friend r. used to do marketing and branding for a big name creative whatnot in nyc, and she's just as chill. i just feel like it was a lot of fake enthusiasm. not that they weren't having fun, but i kind of felt like they were so used to being poised and ON that they just couldn't be real ever. i dunno, maybe it's me being scared of getting older. they were sweet, though. just--unnerving.
i don't really ever want to be a grownup. i want to be financially stable and maybe even more than stable, i'd love to be able to support my parents and donate to good causes, and i want to be responsible and have an environment i enjoy living in, but i don't want to become the antithesis of what i am now. i dunno. i am still pretty young though, and i always forget this since pretty much all of my friends here are 27+.
pood, if you look anything like your gramma you're effing gorgeous.
turbo, i love those curtains! ikea also has some really nice solid color curtains, i got these lovely green ones
about a year ago.
Oct 16 2006, 02:16 PM
Moxie, Moxette is just beautiful. She's quite the little girl. And I still look at myself like a college kid most of the time. I just don't feel right amongst the plastic career people with perfect clothes and perfect hair who care enough to put on makeup.
Turbo, I'm still going to take the giant past the wharf, if just to look over at Alcatraz for a few minutes. I've been there before, and know how touristy it is, and NOT TO EAT THERE. But I think the giant would really like the view. I'd love to try that ice cream place, but anything beyond the standard chocolate/vanilla/strawberry/mint, and the giant won't touch it. I wish he were as culinarily adventurous as you. Good Vibrations might be an idea, though. I'm sure it'll beat the crap outta SexWorld here in Minneapolis with the drunken weirdos leering at people.
I'd probably be pretty ambivalent about marriage, too, but there are certain things I will not do until I am legally bound to someone, like buy a house together or have kids or have a joint bank account. Working for as long as I have where I have has taught me much better than to not make everything very much legal. But then again, being stuck to someone would probably make me feel suffocated, which would make me do something stupid. I don't know why I'm even thinking of it, if anything's going to happen, it won't be for 3 years at the very earliest. No point in fretting about it now.
Oct 16 2006, 02:24 PM
Oh, they had the most wonderful mint ice cream too, diva, and some decadent chocolate - its worth going to. The mint was like REAL peppermint - so refreshing. Ah, I'd forgotten that you'd already been to SF twice...duh. We got food poisoning by eating at the wharf...'nuf said. Now *there's* honeymoon romance!
Good Vibrations was so much fun...even if I'd seen alot of the stuff in our own rockin' sex shops here, it was like paying homage to the feminist pioneers, just going there. And we set aside a little cash to pick up some fun stuff.
Diva, I think your job gives you a twisted perspective on marriage, just like my job gives me a twisted take on family and parenting...I'm probably damaged for life from that...not that I really mind.
Oct 16 2006, 02:30 PM
diva, i forget the name of the island but a family friend was recently reccommending a smaller island off the coast of san fran which is less touristy than alcatraz but just as interesting; apparently a union stronghold during the civil war (because, you know, there was a lot of danger of the south sailing around cape horn and back up to california to attack us
). i wish i could think of the name but that might be interesting to go see?
Oct 16 2006, 03:41 PM
I think I've said this before, but as much as I loved my own wedding ceremony, we were inspired by turbo's. I was her MOH, and let me re-say that the concept of declarations, etc. as power was directly inspired by sitting with her and turboman on their wedding day. I was not particularly ambivilant about marriage-- i wanted the big shin-dig, I'll admit it. But, mostly, we knew we wanted a family, and we both agreed that kids w/o marriage was a big no-no. Having a family was even part of our wedding vows. That said, we make a much bigger deal out of our "dating" anniversary than our wedding anniversary. 9 years in 2 weeks time! goodness gracious.
Ok, enough waxing philosophical...while the wee one sleeps, i should tidy the house.
Oct 16 2006, 03:42 PM
i think i've already said this, but mrfj and i were totally *not* going to get married for the first couple years of our relationship. we had a "been there, done that" sort of feeling about it and knew that our love was much stronger than what we'd shared with the people with whom we'd signed a parchment certificate. we just sort of decided one day, while driving to or from orlando, that we wanted to do it. there was no real "proposal". just a, hey, you know, we should probably get married. for me, it was when his mom introduced me as his "friend" at a family member's funeral. i think she meant it as a way not to talk downt o me and call me his "girlfriend", which seems a little immature for our age. but i would have totally preferred girlfriend to "friend". it just seemed so cold and dismissive. i have grown to love the idea of being married to him though. i guess like turbo said, so many people in our society just don't accept a couple as being committed until they've made the plunge.
diva, i def think you should take him to the wharf, but yeah, no eating there. if anything, grab a snack from a vendor, but don't go to any of the restaurants. our food was so-so at best. and, do take a quick stroll along the pier and check out the sea lions that congregate there on one of the docks. i can't remember the dock# now. leave yourselves lots of time to stop along the route from sf to monterrey. you're going on the PCH, right? you HAVE to go along the PCH. that drive was my favorite part of our trip last time, stopping at various look-outs to see the waves crashing on the cliffs.
i'm having a really rough time with my client regarding payment still. and just as much hassle from my own finance dept. this blows.
but, can i get some bustie vibes? i don't think it's going to happen, but i just tossed my name into the pot for my old job with the publishing company that mrfj works with. they're about to fire ANOTHER sales and marketing coordinator (my old job). i would love to work there again. the only reason i left was because of a certain woman there who had made the office a miserable place to be. she caused mrfj's departure from the office and when the management at that time refused to see her faults, i just couldn't take it anymore. all that has changed and it would so awesome to go back to work there, in a publishing company, working with people i know. and it would give me a potential opportunity to grow into either an editing or sales mode, which would mean more money. plus, i'd get to work with mrfj, or at least in the same building!! we've worked together before, so i know it would be ok for us. it would mean a bit of a paycut and a change in benefits, but i think it would be worth it to me. i've grown to hate this job. still, i doubt it will actually happen since the boss is afraid that my working there would give others a reason to try to get their spouses/children to work there, but since i've already worked there in the past (and have been told that i am the best they've ever had in that position) i think i should get special consideration. eh. it would rock, but i'm trying not to get myself excited about it. i'll probably get a polite, "thanks" and that will be that.
Oct 16 2006, 04:02 PM
Mmmm...real peppermint icecream sounds yummy as hell...
I love your marriage stories, mox and turbo!!
I don't want to be an "adult" according to society's definition. I just hate how people my age who fit that description are somehow considered more relevant or accomplished. It also has to do with insecurity and loneliness on my part. I'm a pretty non-committal person and I don't like to have too many responsibilities. Still, no matter how old I am, I refuse to have matching dishware and neutral-colored furniture. Heh...the last time ex-RB and I went to IKEA, we pretended that we lived in one of the showroom "apartments" and that we were some ultra-chic, upwardly mobile couple. Too funny.
Yay! It's time to go home!
Oct 16 2006, 04:30 PM
I love my matching dishware, although it is probably the ONLY thing in my apartment that matches. Ah well...I really don't mind being less matchy and more ecclectic, but for some reason the dishes had to synch up. It was more for me than anything. I wanted a new start in this place, devoid of any and all retards I may have lived with.
Now marriage truly frightens me. Like Boogeyman, Friday the 13th, there a fucking THING under my bed scared. But we all know my luck with jackasses in the past. I am just working on my Indian cooking masala skills tonight. Bless my Basmati, and HOT DAMNED!!
Oct 16 2006, 05:33 PM
Hello all! I just finished catching up on today’s posts. I feel bad, but I really had a good laugh at Grover’s expense today. And FJ painted a very vivid picture. Heh.
Guess who took a day off? Yep! I decided I would declare Home Reclamation Day in honour of bongoboy’s departure yesterday, sometime after dark, when I last saw him piling crap into a borrowed pick-up truck.
BFF came over this morning, and we FINALLY got my magnetic knife bar (bought in August) installed in the concrete wall. YAY! Now I know it is secure and will not fall off and kill me in some freak loose screw incident.
Next time she is bringing her jig saw over for other DIY. Toasted cinnamon twist bread is a very powerful bribe.
karianne, yes, definitely a lot of green in my apartment – I think my friends must roll their eyes when I bring home yet another can of green paint, saying, “But it’s a slightly different tint!”
Actually, BFF has declared the charcoal grey “depressing” and “dark” and doesn’t think I should paint my bedroom furniture or my closet wall that colour. And of course, as usual, I’ll pay no attention to what she thinks, because I know it’s going to look fabulous when it’s all done. Please.
taloo, I am also bummed by “thrift” prices sometimes. Which is why my dining table has to go under the knife (well, saw
) to become the desk of my dreams. Bah!
mouse, tee hee! Thanks…and that’s when I get my best ideas! Like, right now, I'm having great ideas. BTW, I love that green and white in your apartment every time I see it – so fresh and clean! (For want of better words.)
turbo, dammit. Curtains have nothing to do with being “grown up.” Curtains are about expressing your personality within your home, in a way that marries the functional with the creative. So there. Now, that curtain colour is gorgeous. But you said you also wanted it for warmth, right? Do you want more thickness in a curtain? Maybe you could layer two different coloured ones on the curtain rod, it would work really well with those grommets – it would end up looking like reversible curtains.
wombat, thank you, and welcome back.
poodle, easymac and cereal are just dandy, if they’re on hand and you just can’t pry yourself to cook! I do it – most of us do. Actually, these days, I’m a big fan of Oatmeal to Go bars and Kraft Dinner with extra cheddar grated in. No lectures please, foodies! Please remember that I make my Hamburger Helper with red wine, thank you very much.
I think feeling grown up takes a hundred different forms, and it happens over and over again, forever. But I think it boils down to feeling a little more at home in yourself and your life, a little bit at a time. I like being a grown up. I feel like one, and I think of myself as one, even though I know I still do childish things sometimes. When I was a kid, all I really wanted to be was a grown up, so I could get out there and find out what life had to offer. Of course, this makes me seem brave! But I’ve been very timid, too. We are allowed to be both. Being true to yourself is part of being “grown up.”
For me it has nothing to do with financial or material achievements.
turbo, I MUST have that mouse. MUST. Is it cordless?
miz gb, there’s a surgery for carpal tunnel, they can do it in their office. An acquaintance of mine had it, and hasn’t had any problems since.
Hi also minx, moxie, and diva, and anyone I missed!
Gonna go finish celebrating Home Reclamation Day by installing a curtain rod and painting a small wall.
Oct 16 2006, 06:50 PM
Hi hi hi!! I'm back to report that doode should be very proud of me!!! I went to Pier 1 before my spin class, and not only did I get the curtains, but they were accidentally marked down from $40 a panel to $32, and then I had a $10 off coupon, so I got 2 curtains for $54!! AND, I got a $20 gift card for next month if I spent over $50, and there were definitely some throw pillows I was eyeing!
I think the dominant colr in my home is going to be orange...which is funny, since I've never thought of myself as an orange person, but right now, I really like it. Now, I just have to go to the Despot tomorrow to get a curtain rod and perhaps a pot of warm orange paint! Oooh, and doodle - the curtains are lined already - score!!
The best mouse in the world is not cordless, but its still the best thing to ever happen to my worklife.
And FJ...DEMAND that the universe grant you that job. You want it, you have the skills, its yours. Just know it. (((((Kick ass jobbity job vibes for FJ)))))))
awwww...moxie thanks for the wedding props. It was a good day, that's for sure. And we get to go see another close friend get married this weekend, and I'm so excited about it - and his bride is Chinese, so its going to be a wonderful blended service.
poodle, I think those model apartments in Ikea are the best thing about going there...turboman and I totally goof around in them too - good times. And then the lighting and crowds make my stomach hurt.
I had a good hard spin class tonight, then a half hour in the sauna, and then I was all noodley and relaxed....only to have to ride home in driving rain and 20mph winds against me...no fun. Thank cod for my rain gear though - kept me warm and dry, so that's good. I do need a better headlight though...I need to be able to see the road better in the dark. And now, turbomann's on his way home bringing basil fried brown rice....here he is YAY!!!
*runs off to stuff face*
Oct 16 2006, 09:33 PM
Huzzah! That's such an amazing deal, what luck! And great news that they're lined, that makes them an even better deal. So when are you hanging the drapes, turbo? I want piccies! I demand them, actually.
turbo....you know what looks great together in decorating....orange and rich purple. Maybe with some red accents. MMM, that's hot! I'd totally do that if I weren't going in another direction. Kinda seems like it might suit your personality...?
I'm just sayin'.
Okay, I've saved the posting of decorating pics for the Decor thread, but since I promised - it's a little late, but here's the pic of the TRAY I rushed to take before my flight to Victoria a couple of weeks ago...
It's kind of based on a BC ocean sunset. (Erm, an upside-down one, in this pic.) There are better pics in the Decor thread, but I wanted to post this one so you could NOTE the paltry "regulation" size ziploc bag that prevented me from bringing any hair styling products on the plane.
This is a painting I did around '99/'00-ish. I had at the Centre....BFF has been a volunteer at the Centre longer than I've worked there - we were both volunteers when we met! Anyway, I wanted to give it to her this morning, so I had to grab the pic quickly. It's just called Warrior Woman (15X20", mixed media), but I'd always tell everyone it was MY inner warrior and then watch their reaction:
And I also managed to snag this one this afternoon while taking pics! This is "Carmella's side of the bed," aka, what *I* wake up to every morning. I still don't know how this happened. I was really adamant about not wanting to share the bed anymore, and frankly, I feel something's gone horribly, horribly awry.
Oct 16 2006, 10:53 PM
you all are TALKERS!!!
i keep trying desperately to catch up in here, but it just isn't happening.
working 10-12 hour days for last 2 weeks. including sat and sunday.
loving all of the decorating ideas, photos, kidlets, kitties, doodlepaintings and marriage posts!!
also loving that diva is going on a WONDERFUL trip!!!
*throwing loads of hugs your way*
I MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECE YOU ALL!!!! ALL OF YOU!!!!!
*runs off to shower*
Oct 17 2006, 05:41 AM
should make everyone smile.
off to read last night's chats!
Oct 17 2006, 06:27 AM
tes tes tes!!! Don't feel any need to catch up to us, darling, just jump on in!!! How's mimi the african warrior kitty doing? I'm still dreaming of taking a fabulous exotic vacay like you and mr. hb had!
Doodle, I didn't get to hanging the curtains last night, as I've no curtain rod yet, and I just could not figure out how to ride my bike home in the dark in the rain with a 4 foot long curtain rod box on my bike...though I did my best to try and figure it out with the sales associate. Turbomann is going to take me to the Despot this evening, and we'll get the curtain rod and some paint. I would LOVE a dusty purple wall, but I'm just thinking it wouldn't work in that spot...the living room has all navy furniture (yay ikea!), but the focal piece is an african batik that friends brought back for us from their travels, and its all browns and rust colors - which makes it perfect for the burnt orange curtains. And turbomann said its cool with him that I paint the house any color I like, so long as I'm the one doing the painting...I love that he trusts me with this stuff. And then, after I get this project done, I'm going to work on finally getting my painted booby pics framed so I can hang them.
Thanks to all the home decorators here for stirring my nesting instincts again!!
Doodle that tray is gorgeous...but the warrior woman painting -- takes my breath away!! That is an amazing, and powerful painting!! Thanks for sharing it with us!
Ok, I gotta get ready to meet with my boss this morning about the thousand projects circling the drain this week...gah.
Oct 17 2006, 06:39 AM
turbo- i've seen that batik, and i think it would look splentid on a purple wall! Actually, maybe like a creamy, light cocoa palate, with the main wall behind your sofa purple, and the kitchen wall orange...yowza! C'mon...you're a PURPLE lady for cryin'out loud! DO IT! DO IT!
Oct 17 2006, 06:50 AM
Yeah, I am a purple girl, but I'm thinking that's too many colors for one room....I'm gonna start with the kitchen wall getting the orange treatment, and then we'll see where it goes from there. My designer instincts are saying that 4 major color elements in a room is a bit much...three feels good - navy, orange and beige. But, we'll see how it turns out, and go from there. And besides, I think there might be some carnivorous dust bunnies living behind that couch -- I'm scared to find out what lurks back there!
Oct 17 2006, 07:16 AM
Now, doodle, you KNOW cats go where they want!
In another life, I will be a cat. Or maybe I have already been one.
*share the BED?* Why, five a.m. is the perfect time to go WALK ON THE HUMANS!
Yes, the cat's revenge.
"oh, SORRY! Didn't SEE you down there? Ha ha, who's taller NOW?" is what I picture them saying in little comic-book thought-clouds over their heads.
Our apartment has blond wood and a lot of white, which is darn cheery for punk rockers, but i served my time in the adobe south-facing dark wood hexagonal freaking HUT. This is is white and bright and blonde wood and has curving lines. So we did an IKEA trip --our first! Last night with a friend and got yet more blue and red accoutraymonts! We want yellow curtains -- maybe with some orange or green details to really blast the sun in there in the winter. Or have light that suggests it's nature.
But our apartment is red and white. With some blue. Not what we were planning. They will do what they want, however.
Oct 17 2006, 07:50 AM
In our basement, our color palate is thus: cocoa on the top half of walls, eggplant on the lower half. Chairail off-white. Couch-orange. Lazy-boy, blue. It sounds like a lot, but it all looks awesome together.
fuck-me, its COLD in my office today.. chilly rain permeates outside, and the fucking landlords haven't turned the ehat on yet.
I struggle to find good things tuesday:
1. Coffee. Stuff o the gods.
2. My brother, the restauranteur, is making me dinner tonight.
3. Moxette slept through the night.
4. I am hitting the gym and sauna at lunchtime, dammit!
Oct 17 2006, 08:18 AM
Divalla -- if I were going to SanFran, I would check out City Lights Books -- original beatnik store.
re the whole marriage thing: me and my guy have been together for twenty years next February.
Not always monogamous or perfectly happy and prosperous, but basically a pretty good relationship. There would be a lot of papers going on if we bought a house or any other large large financial purchase. If we wanted a kid, we would get married, cause that's another whole large, potentially painful/expensive endeavor.
Poodle; well, I must confess that at Ikea last night I really wanted the little blue dresser and some of the crazy lights, like the crescent moon, and even some of the stuffed animals. Gaaak!! And me and my friends totally wanted to have a wild party in some of those living rooms and make them throw us out.
I like your warrior too, doodle. ANd now, my own inner warrior has something to say.
I've got to say, I disappeared for awhile because of access difficulties -- i'm still weighing options of models and financing for the computer -- trying to connect and deal with the old computer of mine just ain't going to happen. But I was peeved not because of the stress of finishing the job I was in but more because I remember being a child and thinking that I should put up with people hitting me because they couldn't help it, because they had a NEED to do that, they had a problem.
actually, it was just one girl who was jealous of me and one guy who was so psycho that they ended up throwing him out of the school. But I really hate the idea that I was so attuned to babying crazy people just crapping on me. I also think that any mother who sees her kid come home with a bruise is going to be upset. So, what do the other kids think when the kid who hits people reappears in their classroom. Do they even get an explanation, "so and so has a problem, dear?"
And if they do, is that good enough?
That said though, no kid or family is perfect.
So, what I hope for minxette and every kid is that the plans are in place. It is really great that minx had the strength to leave the jerky father, fight for custody, and have a job and keep things together, going through so much difficulty and work. And I applaud the fight for authenticity, respect and owning/expressing sexuality that Minx is going through. I simply hope that the next steps are planned out -- and the next steps include learning how to play sports, getting a decent bicycle and knowing how to ride it, getting swimming lessons -- all the lessons and the tools and the clothes other kids have -- not luxury but practicality -- take it from me, if you don't have those as a kid, you look and feel like an idiot and inferior in front of all the other kids in class -- repeatedly. It IS the parent's job to provide those things.
I struggled along, fiercely and belatedly teaching myself so I could keep up with everybody. My mom said I should just smile a lot and kiss up to everybody. Help. I would have been totally picked on if I were that dependent. I kept somewhat to myself, had good friends, luckily had other mothers and teachers. I never tattled and never cried. I wasn't the kid everybody threw rocks at, but I felt I could never have power and status and would try to be unnoticed.
The kids liked my drawings and stories though, and included me in games. I had a house with no violence, no divorce, was allowed to have my room and pets and toys and books and art and the woods.
but I never knew what would happen from one year to the next --whether I would accidentally be popular or accidentally be left out because of some jealous beeatch, or whether dad would be okay or not okay, or we would have money or not money, or whether I would manage to do what was suddenly, publicly required, or not. I just held on with my future in mind. I endured.
My dad had some kind of nutso thing that made him a very sexual person, and spanking was one of his areas of eroticsim, which unfortunately became clear to me when I was twelve, and he wanted to spank me for my birthday and was acting weird about it and my mom wouldn't let him. and yeah, I suppose, even though there was no out and out incestuouis activity, I was a goody two shoes "docile" some might say, as a strength against being punished by, essentially, being molested.
Which is a big part of the whole bdsm porn. I do hope if you're playing with that, there aren't things "hidden" in the house for the kid to find, or that adults in your daughter's life aren't still spanking at the same time as other adults are making it erotic. I hope any bdsm content, which references childhood, sometimes cutely and sometimes not cutely at all, is really far away from where minxette lives. and that is not to restrict or judge your sexuality in any way, minx, I also find some of these things erotic as an adult, but having formerly been a child in this situation, it wasn't fun. Something I have to say.
I endured the school and endured the parents and, they had their good points. I managed to not be crazy, ever, thank god, not get onto substance abuses either -- not alcohol or drugs, or even food or cigarettes.
This all has worked out okay because instead of defining myself by "what happened to me," I decided that "I happened" and I knew I would always have the good people and the books and the world of -- hippies or other cool adults in other places, that I could see on my tv! Just like Abbie Hoffman said.
I would have liked not to fear and deny and hold on and feel so intimidated by and servile to my parents. And hence to the rest of the town -- to everyone in my life. I would have liked to not have to get away and never live in my home town and never even speak to anyone of the past.
I wish for parents that would have known that they need to be connected to the other parents in the school and town and that if they want me to know how to do all the things that society wants, they have to teach me, if they can't or won't, they have to get someone to teach me.
It would have been heck of a lot better than my mom saying, well, after I had you kids I found out he was a nut and sexually bizarre and his money was probably not going to be there, and I just stayed and told all the neighbors that they were wrong and mean and hid in my house and barely went outdoors, and felt free to scream and yell and shame and hit whenever I want, and if you don't somehow just learn how to do things and how to get things for YOURSELF, then I'll take you to doctor after doctor trying to find something wrong with your "hand-eye" coordination or "timidity" or whatever, which surely must have just come from your genes and not any neglect or inadequacy of MINE.
Crap, my best friend neighbors compared me to Cinderella.
Suffice to say, when I served my time and got my hs diploma and got college paid for -- because how would it LOOK if they didnt?
I had a nice sex and party life of my own while getting top grades -- and the hand-eye coordination thing? I did micro-precision work on a job, twice as fast as anyone had ever done it before.
I did Outward Bound -- running for miles up and down boulders and climbing sheer rock faces.
I ended up buying my own car and driving lessons, driving stick, paying my way thru college when my mom took all the house and college money when she divorced my father when I was 19 -- and going to europe twice. Oh, and having my writing published, and singing with a band -- two of mommy monsters personal dreams that SHE never accomplished.
And that is what my warrior has to say today.
Oct 17 2006, 08:31 AM
I would really fucking appreciate it if my fucking PERSONAL LIFE were not prognosticated about and commented upon as if it were your business to do so, Wombat, outside of any relevent conversation. I ignored you yesterday because you were STILL out of line, but now you keep doing so. If this is shit that you still need to process, get a therapist or a journal.
My life is not a fucking BACKDROP in which to discuss your dysfunction/issues. So kindly fuck off with the jacked up parallels that you seem to keep finding. You applaud me in one breath, and then make these obsequious caveats in the other. Using dismissive comments like "blahblah disorder", as if you had a fucking clue about the amount of work I put into getting my child the best start in life.
Seriously, I'm sorry you had a rotten childhood, but don't use the life of me and my child with which to do your processing. It is rude and very fucking presumptuous. You have ignored my requests, and I am taking this to mean that you have really shitty boundaries.
Understand this: you no longer get to comment upon my life.
Oct 17 2006, 08:47 AM
WORD, minx. And just to re-iterate...this is OKAYland, where things are OKAY. There are lots of other good threads here on the forum to discuss survivor issues, and things that are triggering feelings and memories from childhood, but this is NOT it. Honestly, dumping in this thread triggers my own shit, and I really don't need that in here...I take that to other discussions.
Minxy, we love you, you know it, and you're the most rockin' mom, and minxlette is the luckiest girl I know to have a momma like you.
In other news, today is a special day of universal intention, that whatever thoughts and intentions we are thinking between 10:17 a.m this morning and 1:17a.m tomorrow (regardless of time zone) will be amplified throughout the universe...and those intentions will be amplified and accelerated, so that they may offer results in a much quicker time. So whether you're thinking positive thoughts, negative thoughts, intentions for your future - all will be amplified. So think Positively!! /end crunchyness
And that means you ms FJ - know that the job you want is YOURS! And me, I'm getting a NEW job! YEAH!
Oct 17 2006, 09:01 AM
Whoa!! Why this all of a sudden wombat? We were just talking about decorating. *scratches head*
Turbo, I was just looking at orange couches yesterday! I found a totally rad 70's velour orange sectional on craigslist, but it's just too big for my living room. If it weren't for that stupid radiator, I would have an extra wall to make use of. Anyway, this couch is your total Studio 54 coke-sniffing set-up. I'm sad that it won't work. IKEA also has a pretty cool orange sectional that would fit my dimensions, but the set would end up costing me almost $1000. There is the option of buying just a part of the sectional and then adding on when I have more fundage.
So, my niecoid's 1st birfday is coming up and I wanted to get her some cute clothing as a gift. I went to Target and I wanted to puke when I saw how aggressive clothing manufacturers are about gender roles. I can't believe it! I actually bought her "boy" jeans, because all of the girls jeans had stupid flower and butterflies and glitter crap all over them. I tried to find a gender-neutral shirt, but there wasn't anything cool. The boy's clothes are especially irritating, because they're covered in sports crap. My sister loves basketball, so I tried to find a basketball shirt in the boys section, but no luck. I did a little online shopping this morning, and I ordered this
for my niece. Hells yeah. \m/ \m/ \m/ It'll look great with the camoflauge pants that my bro-in-law bought for her. Now if I could only find her some combat boots.
Awwww...doodle, that's such a cute Carmella picture. Oscar has his own "side" too. Sometimes he takes over my side. He's a total bed hog.
- Cool niecoid shirt
- Boss is gone all day
- Nothing pressing to do!!!
Oct 17 2006, 09:07 AM
hello pretty mamas!
I am stepping in to tell you a story at the request of the Red Haired Baby's momma (Amy). (RHB is 2 and a half now!) Last night RHB's dad was with the kids while Amy went to a meeting. RHB and his dad were going over the alphabet and when they came to the letter "F" Dad asks RHB what does "F" stand for and RHB jumps up and says "FRONT BUTT!". Dad about DIED. Dad asks where RHB learned that and he said Lurvpaint and Mommy. Daddy asked him if boys had "front butts" and RHB said "no only girls".
Last week I was talking with RHB's momma about a topic I read about here maybe two years ago in the Lets Talk About Sex section. It was all about funny and appauling names for girls private parts that parents taught Busties to use. The most hilarious of these was "front butt". Anyway, last week Amy and I were having a good laugh while talking about this subject in front of the baby. So, "F" is for FRONT BUTT!!
Now I am going to go back to work and wish that I had time to Bust like in the olden days. I'll peek in again.
Oct 17 2006, 09:20 AM
(((((((( job vibes for FJ )))))))))))
I'm one of those who likes to have color everywhere in my house and beige is not welcome. My living room is purple with red and black furniture. The dining room is a light sagey green. Our bedroom is almost as dark as navy blue (we wanted it to be cave-like - we've got a blue/white theme in there), and the guest bedroom is raspberry. The kitchen was already pretty damn cool and the walls are textured, so there's no way we're going to paint in there. So basically, color, color everywhere! I eschew all things beige and off-white and that whole non-color color group.
Doodle, I love that tray! I like how you can see the wood grain through the paint. Your warrior painting is beautiful, too.
I'm probably going to be one of those who have a really big wedding. I can't see it any other way. This is only going to happen once in my life (knock on wood), so I want to do it up as big as I can. And with all the Food Network and Colin Cowie and TLC I watch, I want to put it to good use. I guess that means I have to start saving right now. If this happens, I think this will be the only large wedding the giant's family will have had, and I think his mom would really like that, not that I'd do it for her. And I told the giant that, as his gift to me, I want him to make David Gilmour play for me for an hour. : )
Moxie, did you catch wrasslin' last night? K-Fed was on and got FUed by John Cena. Hi-larious!
Thanks for the advice on places to check out. When I was at Fisherman's Wharf before, the food wasn't terrible, but it wasn't memorable, either. I'd rather go someplace really nice, since we've only got about 5 hours to spend there. I'd like to pick up some souveneirs there, though. My BFF told me about a new museum that just opened in Golden Gate Park, and that they have all kinds of Japanese gardens there. And it's free! We never made it to the park on my previous trips.
Looks like I'm not doing that craft fair I mentioned yesterday. They already filled up, and frankly, I'm quite happy not doing something that would profit a religous private school.
Good Things Tuesday:
1) I just sold 2 necklaces to a lady at work, so now I have some cash.
2) chocolate doughnut for lunch
3) still no bosses around
Oct 17 2006, 09:25 AM
Hi lurv!!! Come back and play with us! How's life in lurvland?
"Front butt" Bwahahahaha!!! Oh my god. I would totally die laughing! Here's
the IKEA couch I was checking out. It would make the most use of my space and create the most seating, and the chaise part would also fit between the stupid radiator and the wall. I wish I had money so that I could buy it all at once. I need to sell some of my stuff so that I can get a semi-decent couch that hasn't been rotting in someone's basement for years.
ETA- Hi diva!! I'm totally with you on the color thing. I'm just drawn to that stuff and I buy it without considering the other stuff I have in my apartment. If it's bold, then it works!
Wow! Have you and the giant talking about marriage lately?
Oct 17 2006, 09:27 AM
*tackles her and smears her face in cream cheese frosting*
FRONT BUTT?! Holy hell, that is funny.
And Poodle, that shirt rocks my socks. I want one for Minxlette. Fer serious.
Turbo, thank you for the affirmation. I love me some Okayers.
FJ--dudette, you can totally get what you want. I've heard of you doing it before, so it's all good.
Doodle, I dig your panache. I only wish I had the impetus to do HALF of the coolio decorating shit you pull off.
*Confession* I think that I am beginning to like cats. Gads...I can't believe I just said that...
Oct 17 2006, 09:45 AM
Oh, Maud, I cross-posted with about a billion people.
Hi, Lurv!!! Front butt is so cute!
Poodle, I love that little t-shirt! I would've got that for Sam when he was a baby. And that couch you linked? That was exactly the same couch I had planned on buying (only in black) until I decided I couldn't justify $1000 for anything from IKEA and there had to be a better deal out there. And there are. We should go out looking together at Dayton's Warehouse and the Levitz clearance center, if they're still open.
We sometimes talk about marriage. We pretty much assume it's going to happen, but nothing officially for at least 3 years, after he's had time to pay off his divorce and all things related to it and can start clean. That's exactly the way I would want it, anyway. I will not get legally bound to someone with the responsibilities that he has right now. But yeah, we talk about it a little sometimes, and my BFF keeps asking about it. I just wish the giant hadn't been married before, but, well, no situation is perfect and we deal with things as best we can.
Can everything be OKAY again, pleeeeeeeeeease?
Oct 17 2006, 10:19 AM
awwwww! thanks for all the warm greetings!
Pooooodle! that T-shirt is awesome! I just ordered a onesie for RHB's little brother (aka Tatie). His first birthday is November 1st. PerFECT! Thank you for making my life easier.
Hi Diva and Mixie Momma!
I miss you punkins!
Oct 17 2006, 10:30 AM
doodle, i am SO GLAD bongoboy is finally gone (though i gotta admit it was getting pretty funny there towards the end with the man-girl shreiks and use of bongos as attack)!
turbo, wow, what an awesome deal on the curtains! i gotta say, i've never been terribly fond of purple, but i do think that orange honestly goes with pretty much every color--it's the only one that looks nice with its complementary color (i always did like a burnt orange and light blue together) so it's nearly as flexible as a neutral!
pood, that couch is gaw-juss...but i agree with diva, if you're gonna pay that much for something, maybe don't do it at ikea. i bet you could find a better deal elsewhere. ikea stuff is cute, but they've never been known for their durability.
***vibes SO HARD for fj's job at the publishing co!***
hi lurv! that story is hi-larious. front butt! hi moxie, kari, diva, minxie and everybody!
so, i have GOOD news! i got a(nother) freelance gig! i'm still on trial for it but i'm pretty sure they'll keep me on. it's doing the same stuff i do at work now (t-shirt screens) but with a lot of licensing stuff, which will be a good learning experience and good to have in my portfolio, and of course it'll be extra cash which i do need right now as i am STILL keeping my food in the freezer because my fridge is broken.
i had to drive up to san fernando for the interview; i never drive in the valley and it's so beautiful. it reminded me of driving across country. i want to get out to the desert again.
Oct 17 2006, 11:38 AM
Poodle, you are the BEST!! As soon as you posted that linkie to the baby-tees, I realized that today is my neicoid's birfday - she's two! I think she's definitely getting one of those tees, and maybe a nice kids picture book - I Loooove buying kids books...I'll just sit down on the floor and read 'em till I find just the right book.
Way to go mouse on the nice freelance gigs!!!
Luuuuurv!! Darlink - we meeece you! Come back and play...pretty please? Can you play with us from home! We need more stories in here about things like front butts!
Poodle, that couch looks very comfortable! Our livingroom set is actually from Ikea, though its from their custom upholstery service, and not only does demand that you nap in it at all times, but its very sturdy. I've had some of their other furniture, and while its great for the price, the life span is about 5 years, which is really okay by me anyhow, since I'm ready for a change in 5 years' time.
I just had to take a new co-worker out to lunch today, so I took her to my favorite thai spot, so my tummy is happy, and the new co-worker seems really fun...unfortunately, she's manning an office downstate, so I won't see her much. I need more fun people to work with me *here!*
Oct 17 2006, 12:11 PM
Wombat, this attempted lashing by Minx is similar to what I encountered in this thread last week. Everyone on this Board comments about a variety of topics posted within the threads, all threads; hence a community message board. I believed that the purpose of a community board was to lend insight that we have to give to each other in order to share our life experiences. However, Minx becomes rabid when comments are made about anything she doesn’t like reading. I’ve been a member of this community for quite some time, as you have, and I’ve seen it time and time again.
If you don’t want your personal life commented on – leave it out. I do. Instead talk about your decorating ideas, your vacations, your cooking, your exercise plans or your shopping adventures. Whatever it is that you would be comfortable receiving comments about. If it is posted, it is open season for comments.
Who do you think you are to attempt to limit the members of this Board from commenting? You will encounter ideas that don’t mesh with yours, on the Board or off, that does not allow you to attempt to sensor nor to attempt to oppress. Last time I checked, this wasn’t North Korea.
Minx doesn’t come to the Board to offer anyone anything of substance; usually she bursts in and writes about her personal life and seeks affirmation that she is a good mother. She uses this space as her journal, and as a place to vent without supporting others, except when she lashes out and needs to drum up the support of the Board (as reflected in today’s postings). Ironically, the use of a journal is the very thing that she suggests that you seek out Wombat; in addition to therapy.
~ ~ ~Those that throw stones shouldn’t live in glass houses. ~ ~ ~
Oct 17 2006, 12:11 PM
turbo- that's exactly what i was thinking for christmas- i hope i get one of the under-3 crowd, cause a book and that t-shirt would be perfect! I'm SOOO not the fisher-price auntie! Poodle, you ROCK AND ROLL for bringing that in here!
On the ikea front- we've got a dining room set from them- 5 years old, and on its way out the door. SOOO not stable enough to withstand moxette as a toddler. Don't know what'll replace it yet, but we've got our eye's open.
OKAY, its all OKAY here, right? Right?!? Yes.
Oct 17 2006, 12:32 PM
Yo, let's just all chill in here, OKAY? I really don't want to go through this all over again in here this week. This is OKAYland, and we do semi-operate here under the assumption that things are OKAY...minxy vented about her life, which we all do here...its the lashing out at other BUSTies that isn't an affirming or OKAYland kind of behavior.
Can't we all just move on, here?
Oct 17 2006, 12:39 PM
i think something we all need to keep in mind is that THIS IS THE INTERNET. we only know what others choose to tell us in type. perhaps it's presumptuous to assume that one's personal life will not be commented on when one puts it on the internet, but it's also presumptuous to comment on the life of someone who you don't even know for sure actually exists, let alone all the nuances they can't or don't choose to tell.
this is OKAYLAND. this is not the parenting thread, the therapy thread, the journal thread or whatever. things are okay here, and they will continue to be, dammit.
Oct 17 2006, 01:57 PM
*ducks in and hides behind OKAY couch*
wow, i'm not even sure where to start...i just want our thread back!
a) a lot of us use this thread as a conversational "journal", so if you call minx out for that, sunshine, you might as well lump me into it as well. that's what we do here.
2) i have felt supported and loved by all the regular members of this thread and particularly by minx in times of anguish, as well as times of euphoric happiness. i do not feel that she vomits on the thread any more than any of us.
from my understanding, OKAY is a sounding board. a venting place, a respite, a solace, a place for frivolity, a place for weightiness - we are a party and mostly, a conversation. i've seen a lot of BUSTies type that they lurk in this thread and are afraid to jump in and comment. i, myself lurked for a good month in this thread before entering with my own brand of banter three-some-odd years ago because i wanted to make sure i knew the cast of characters within. i didn't want to upset the balance that makes it OKAY.
part of what allows this balance is that we don't pick fights with each other. when we take issue with each others' choices or lifestyles, we let each other know as a friend might: in a gentle, respectful and non-judgemental way. we don't like flare-ups here. we try to inject a little humanity - something that is sorely missing in so many internet communities. yes, we can disagree and we do: we just do it our own way. and we do come to the aid of each other in times of need. we don't like our OKAY BUSTies to be messed with.
maybe you think that means that we live in a *dream world of make-believe with flowers and bells and leprechauns and magic frogs with funny little hats*. but no. it's just OKAYland.
*special thanks to homer simpson for helping me out with that last line.*
Oct 17 2006, 02:15 PM
First and foremost, I find that this picture at the humorous expense of the mentally retarded sums the situation up rather well.
I would also like to point out as Mouse did, that one of the reasons this is so absurd is because this message board has little to do with reality. There are a great deal of people here that have created a persona for themselves that is not a reflection of who they really are. Like a fat 43 year old man posing to be a skinny 17 year old girl in a chat room. There are also people who are more truthful and even meet in the real world, but that does not mean what they are saying is truthful either. Here is a fun afternoon: pick a name and search their posts. Then read their posts in order starting from the oldest. You will quickly see that a lot of things do not line up and lots that are in direct contradiction to each other. And even if you are who you say you are, and nothing you say contradicts the fact remains that each of us presents our one sided story. All of us. And one reason why we are here is because we can give our side, slant it to our feeling and get supported for just about anything and no one knows what really happened, or what the real story or whole story is. It is just OUR story, and we all listen because at least it is not HIStory.
My personal experience Falljackets is that I have also had someone blow up and get catty, (pages 213 and 212 in this thread for those playing at home) and have seen many others that are not Minx or Wombat or Sunshine do it as well, but that is why I went back to lurking with out a word. It is not worth getting into it with people using avatars instead of a good old fashion smile. So ladies, my advice is just ignore the stupid things people say here, because it is not reality. Not your reality, not their reality, not any reality. It is a message board, you make it what it is.
Good evening sisters, back to lurking, because I made this board what I wanted. Someplace where I can read about the lives people create for them selves, and trying to find some solidarity in it. Even if it is not real.
Oct 17 2006, 02:22 PM
my experience is that minx is one of the most solid, dependable voices of reason, smartness, compassion, empathy and just good sense on this board. and please guys, STOP IT.
Oct 17 2006, 02:23 PM
all I have to say is, my office smells like feet. Bad. I think I need to find a new place to store all my bike riding clothes while I work...my office neighbors are starting to comment...oy.
*skips off as the thread returns to normal* (please please please)
Oct 17 2006, 02:32 PM
i too have been suffering from stinky feet today because i couldn't find my stupid new black shoes and all i had were these cheap targhay ballet shoes that cause my tootsies to stink like vinegar and doritos. or is that fritos?
Oct 17 2006, 02:35 PM
Yeah, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about my problem...I have about 5 pairs of shoes in my office at any one time...I pretty much leave all my "grownup" shoes in the office, so I don't have to schlep them to and fro on my bike everyday, and well...its adding up. I need to find some secret closet...I'm not sure the nurses would let me store my shoes where the baby formula is stored down the hall from me...that's about my only option, I think...hmm...
Oct 17 2006, 02:42 PM
MOVE ON OR SHE WILL EAT YOU!!!!
Oct 17 2006, 02:46 PM
aww, fj, i am wearing stinky cheap payless ballet flats! is it OKAY if we all smell bad?
Oct 17 2006, 02:50 PM
I never smell bad.
*stomps around* I want a couch!! I want a couch!! I want a couch!! Yeah, I'll prolly look for one at the outlet stores. I went to slumberland outlet a few weeks ago, and all of the couches were so big and poofy. I want something more substantial than a love-seat though. I just want people to be able to hang out and feel comfortable at my place.
ETA- That's hilarious minx!!!
ETA- Congrats on your freelance gig, mouse!!!
Oct 17 2006, 02:59 PM
i want a new couch too, poodle. but *covers mister boot's ears* the cats have got to kick the bucket before we shell out that much money. he completely ruined mrfj's couch. and the first cover we got for it. actually, i think he'd be a lot better now since he can roam around outside and sharpen his claws on oak trees and whatnot. but we want a leather sofa. in fact, i was looking at this one
from the ikea link you posted earlier. oh, sweet sweet leather sofa.
i've decided that once all my animals have gone on to greener pastures, i won't be getting any replacements for a while. i mean, i LOVE my fur babies and don't want anything happening to them. but the dog especially is an awful lot of responsibility. i know it sounds funny coming from someone that wants children, but i also know that my in-laws would be much more excited about caring for a baby than grover - unless we have a child that sits in the driveway and refuses to budge because of chirping noises coming from smoke detectors.
i don't know. i might feel differently once i lose one of them.
Oct 17 2006, 03:04 PM
I think I just finally got rid of the Slim Fast smell from my cube. I had quite the tower of empty cans going, but I'm really paranoid, so I clean everything really well before I leave for more than a couple days. My feet usually only smell when I wear my Doc Martens or socks in a fabric that doesn't breathe. Oh, and when I wear old sandals, it's like my foot acts like a lid that keeps the smell out just so long as I don't remove my foot from the sandal.
I love the picture, Minx. Didn't expect to see Ann Coulter as I scolled down, so it scared me a little. Hey, she's a scary lady (or man, from the rumors I've heard).
Poodle, seriously check out Dayton's (yes, Dayton's, never ever ever Macy's) Warehouse. When I went there last year looking for something very similar to the IKEA couch you posted, I had quite a bit of luck there, until I realized that the stuff at Ashley Furniture is much more affordable ('cause my mommy made me). It's still a little expensive, but you get more for your money.
Congrats on your freelance work, Mousie.
Are we OKAY again?
ETA: that's a really cool couch, FJ. I've always liked it, but maybe it's because I'm short, but I always slide off of it. My legs aren't long enough to anchor my feet to the ground so I don't slip. I call it the "Rejection Couch." Might be good for a shrink's office.
Oct 17 2006, 03:43 PM
Oh! I am so cranky. I just can't even tell you. I know it is me. OH! PMS!
My boss sent me an email earlier and I meant to erase the bitchy last line of my responce. "sounds like someone is a little hysterical". It was clear that I was not referring to her but she came up to ask me about it. I've been really pissed off ever since.... but I didn't understand why until I came in here to talk with y'all.
Who is with me? PMS anyone?
I miss you girls. I want to hang out.
I really want to drink some beer or wine tonight. I am a regular smoker again. I can go without smoking for a day or more with no real freak-out.
Oct 17 2006, 06:57 PM
hugs for lurv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
time for my weekly drive-by-ing! i had a religions midterm today that could have been better but also could have been waaaaaay worse, so i'm okay with that.
yay for bongoboy being gone! phoo on allergies and extra houseguests!
hugs and vibes for all.
saturday night a bunch of us watched rocky and bullwinkle (i bought the first season on dvd a while ago) it's sooooooo much better than it was when i was little, and i thought it was pretty awesome back then. then we watched moulin rouge and counted the number of times 'love' is said (151 by our count). i think the boy and his roomates were going to turn it into a drinking game at some point, drinking whenever they say love, but i'm not sure you could make it even with really weak mixed drinks. i mean, they say love a LOT. hopefully their livers survive.
so, saturday will be a month since boything officially asked me out. this whole unsingleness thing is still alien to me. and, you know, if one more person expects me to act differently because now i have a boyfriend they're going to get a punch in the face. cougarlion still tsks at me 'cause i won't back down in challenges, which means my friend Z will still get to touch my boobs because he thinks i won't let him and i have to prove him wrong. i mean, come on, they're still MY boobs
why oh why must i get cysts on my boobs? why not normal chestne? nooooo, i get hurty things full of pus that take months to go away completely and will leave scars even if i never touch them. feh. at least i only get them a few times a year, but when i get them they come in packs
okay, good things tuesday:
cookie dough for dinner
no more midterms this week
Oct 17 2006, 07:19 PM
Oh Lurv...my Pissy Little Princess!! Let not the PMS pedantically pilfer your panache!!!
Minxlette was listening to a lovely requiem a minute ago, but now it sounds as though the Valkyries are abuot to sweep her away to Valhalla. She'll have strange dreams tonight, for sure.
Watching "The Amityville Horror"--the old one. I dig Jesus beards.
Tyger--I get cysts as well. I am currently trying to rid myself of one of my ass. I think that I need to go to the doctor to get the fucker lanced. I used to get them on my breasts when I would be highly stressed. Groooooowisssssss.
Oct 17 2006, 07:48 PM
turrrrrrrrrrrrrbo! You could TOTALLY make a navy blue couch work with orange and purple and a warm-toned batik, and red, too!!! You HAVE to trust me on this, girl!
poooooodle! That couch is GORGEOUS! I could totally see you lounging around on that with your boycats, and arranging yourself seductively on it in front of some hunk!
Shit, I had other stuff I wanted to say, but I got all messed up thinking about today's upheaval. I'm tired of it already. This particular thread (aka OkayLand) is - as HAS been stated a hundred times before, in a hundred different ways - a thread where we come to socialize and to support one another. I'm not sure where uninvited critiques of other people's personal lives comes into that. (And I'm also not sure why those who express uninvited criticism so often believe the subjects of their criticism have no right to tell them to mind their own business.) And the format of this thread is NOT about silencing conflict, for anyone who thinks that's what's going on; I can also remember an incident a few weeks ago where poodle called me on something, and we dealt with it openly, and moved on - quite happily and humourously, I felt. So come on, for fuck's sake. I don't always agree with the way everyone runs their lives, either, but my parents taught me to "live and let live," and I think it's a pretty good modus operandi
*shakes it off*
Ok, where was I? Um....well, I did READ everything, and want to say hello to everyone! And also thank you for your nice compliments on my tray and my Warrior Woman, and of course, yes, Carmella IS radiating cuteness in that pic.
Oct 17 2006, 08:07 PM
doooooodle, where weeere you when I needed you at the Despot tonight??? They had no 100" curtain rods - feh. But I took my friend E, the pugs' momma, with me for kicks, and I totally couldn't make a decision with a second person there second guessing! It totally muddled my thoughts! So I brought a whole bunch of chips home, and I'm gonna have to think on it...purple is definitely on the list, though, as is green....I just don't know right now.
Mostly, I just want to hang my curtains, and I guess I'm going to have to brave some kind of retail hell-land to find a Linens n Things or something.
Lurv AND Tyg in one day?!!!! How lucky are we?!
Tyg, I'm glad you're still having fun with the boy! And sorry about your boobs...I used to get those when I was in college too, I think mostly it was stress and eating crappy food.