Aug 17 2006, 09:08 AM
Okay, I texted the Mick telling him that I was ready to cave, and he called me almost immediately saying: You were on your way to the convenience store, weren't ya, Minxy? Fuck
. Am I going to have to quit drinking coffee for awhile as well? This is insane. You see, the Mick was a raging alcoholic of the liter of whiskey a night club variety (for 15 years). He still cannot quit tobacco...says the likker was a snap comparatively. Wow...this is really difficult and it makes me feel like a flaming retard who should have a helmet on. I should just be annoying and call all of my friends...Maude knows I know enough addicts. Seriously, 50% of my friends are in "The Program". Cocaine, heroin, hooch--you name it, they ingested it.
I survived 340 miles on the road last night...if I can make it through the afternoon, I will be very grateful.
Aug 17 2006, 09:51 AM
Where did you go last night minx? You drove 340 miles? Wowzers.
Jenn, congratulations! What a great article. And you are right, the pics do look excellent. I have wondered about the rise in international adoptions. I guess that makes sense about their being more available babies. Why is that? Why is the wait so long here in the states?
So it's not just me with the groceries. Maybe I just need to accept that the cost is so high and start budgeting more money for food. Boo. I wish they sold wine in the grocery stores here. You have to buy it in a liquor store & you can't buy it at all on Sundays. That is the south for you.
Kitten, that is pretty good if you haven't ever had to pay more than $10 for meds. You must have a great plan. Mine is decent, but lots of meds cost me $20, the ones on the second tier cost me $40.
I am a morning person too, but I don't like to get up super early. I get up at 5:45 on the weekdays to be at work at 7:45. I wish I didn't have to get up so early though. Weekends, if I don't have class, I usually get up by 8 or 8:30. Jenn what time do you get up? You do so much in the mornings!
Aug 17 2006, 10:04 AM
I get up at 5:30am on weekdays, around 6:30 on the weekend...I'm just a 15 minute bike ride away from work, so the commute doesn't suck up much of my morning.
The wait time for adoption is so long in the US because there are fewer women choosing to make a voluntary adoption plan for their child (that would be expectant moms or those just post-birth). The reason for that - roe v. wade (YAY!), birth control availability, and more than anything - the social acceptance of single parenting. Its just a social shift, is all. There's still plenty of children available for adoption/foster care through DCFS, but that's completely separate from what our agency does.
minxy, I wouldn't give up coffee and ciggies at once...that might be even harder on your body. ((((minxy)))
Aug 17 2006, 10:16 AM
Awesome article, Turbo - and I agree with your assessment of the popularity of international adoption. I think, too, there's a much higher perception of safety with IA - no chance of the birth mother changing her mind & making things difficult (aka, the Maury/Springer Show syndrome). Then there's the "boutique" angle, the exoticism of an Asian baby... I know that sounds jaded, but seeing how people fawn over our friends' little girl, born in China, I have to call it like I see it.
I'm about to get swamped here at work, or I'd expand a little more on this... to cut to the chase, you & your company do great work, Turbo!
xpost with someone, I'm sure...
Aug 17 2006, 10:24 AM
Yeah, I'm afraid you're right, tart - families think intl adoption is "safer," or more predictable, but really, they're just very different. And yes, some families do choose the travel and cultural experience of raising a child from a particular country. Me, I'd choose domestic adoption any day over the unpredictable in-country governments, lack of reliable medical information about your referred child, and likelihood of attachment issues, developmental delays and medical issues that can emerge later. But then, I love that our domestic adoptions are driven by the birthparents, and that they are a continual part of their child's life after placement...days like today, I love my job.
Aug 17 2006, 10:28 AM
dude..i missed the shaved nuts and sex on the swingset convo? damn......talk about missing the wrong day...
hi peeps...here's the word on the toe....so i called the advice nurse at my doc's office (killer kaiser) and they wanted me to come in ...and from the way it sounded, it might have turned into a photo shoot...which it did..i went in, they poked, prodded, tagged, zapped, wrapped and released me with a warning to drink lots of fluids, elevate the limb, no spicy foods (wah) and no smoking or drinking (what?!!?!?!?)...plus, i have this fab-u-lous new franken-boot to wear for the next week or so. blah.
mr.gb shaves as well. he likes it. (tmi)
hi kari, turbo, fj, mr. fj, minx, doodle, poodle, moxie, tart, olha, wombat, brett, diva, kitten, and mouse!
Aug 17 2006, 10:28 AM
Okay, sage ex-junky friend told me to stop being a blistering idiot and put on my patch and drink more water. I am going to sit down and do a little yoga before Minxlette's appointment. Maybe that will calm my shit down.
You guys rule.
THANKS A BRAZILLION!!
OT: My cousin, who put her son up for adoption when she was 16, just met him for the first time this summer. He is happy, well-adjusted, and in his mid-20's. It was fabulous.
Aug 17 2006, 10:31 AM
You just made my day, Minxy...
Aug 17 2006, 10:36 AM
Hey all....this is quick, 'cause I just read minxie's suffering and I have to respond.
minx, I quit smoking - for the final time - in 2000. It was my 3rd really, really, really serious try...I used the patch and then finished up with nicorette (when in need). The only way I have stayed "clean" of cigarettes and other nicotine products (I really liked cigarellos, too...I was working up to cigars) this far is that I keep telling myself this: "I will always want to smoke, and I'm just not going to." That's it. That's the whole secret. Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but STAYING not smoking is a product of giving myself a mental slap every time I get the desire to smoke. Which STILL happens - once every couple of months, I find myself on the brink of buying cigs, or asking a friend for one. I just....don't. It's like when someone is hysterical and you're supposed to slap them. You have to snap yourself out of it. Admit that you want to smoke and then tell yourself you're just not going to. I usually stand there at the store counter reminding myself about all the reasons I quit (health issues, financial cost), and also reminding myself how even one cigarette would start the whole addiction cycle all over again....and of course, if I bought a pack, it wouldn't BE just one, would it? My sixth anniversary is in about 3 weeks.
Ok, that's it. Back to reading.
Oh...karianne, thanks for asking....I'm leaving VERY early Monday morning, with cats in tow....
Aug 17 2006, 10:54 AM
i agree. great article, tj!! mrfj and i have talked about adopting a non-white child. i think i'm more on the boat with it than he is, primarily because he's not sure we're equipped to deal with what comes with it. i'm more in the camp of "kids need love from any and all directions", but i can certainly see his point. it would be difficult to preserve the culture of a child completely different than mine. but certainly not impossible. i think we'd attempt to adopt domestically (regardless of race) before going international. i've actually heard that it's harder to adopt internationally. or maybe just more expensive. i dunno. i guess we'll cross that bridge when it's time.
i wonder if it's possible to re-wire my brain to become a morning person. i guess it will just mean that i have to DO it. make a habit of it. but how many times have i told myself i was going to do it? and i haven't yet.
i am meeting a tree guy this evening at home. he's going to estimate how much it will cost to cut down some limbs that are growing over our house. with hurricane season here i don't want to wait much longer and risk trees falling into my house. especially considering that we had a tree get either struck or blown over during a very mild (comparitively at least) storm a few weeks ago. the lady on the phone said there is a $400 minimum, so my first question to him will be: what will you do for $400. i had another guy out a couple months ago. i pointed out about 6 limbs that i wanted done (just the ones over the house) and he
started pointing out all sorts of trees and limbs in the backyard that need to come down. he said he would spend a half day there, and wanted to charge $1750!!!
"we have a million dollars worth of insurance, ma'am".
"i don't have a million dollar house, so i don't need all that insurance."
i was pretty proud of myself for that comeback.
obviously, i didn't call him back out to do the work. so, i could use some cheap tree service vibes right about now...
Aug 17 2006, 11:44 AM
Well, fj, it just so happens I helped in creating an elearning course for transracial adoption, called "conspicuous families: race, culture, and adoption." Its on our adoption learning partners
website, so if you start considering adoption more seriously, check it out...and seriously, ask me anything if adoption settles in as the way to expand your family.
(((((((tree trimming vibes)))))) *c'mon lil' branches, why don't you float on down to the ground safely, on your own* ...That sort of expense makes me glad I'm not responsible for that sort of thing...of course I fork over $250 a month for drunk janitor to handle it for me, so maybe its not better...
Aug 17 2006, 11:54 AM
Hey turbo, I just finished the article - it was really great, and informative! I'm fascinated by the idea of "colourblindness" versus "colour awareness"....I think a lot of people believe they're not perpetuating racism because they "don't see" colour....when that attitude actually decreases one's awareness of (and ability to recognize) racial injustices. I'm also interested in the issue of assimilation....here in Canada, for many years, Aboriginal children were often apprehended from their families (the "'60s Scoop" is quite infamous here), and, even after the residential schools started closing down, they were usually adopted out to white families. The process of assimilating Aboriginal children into white culture was often called "making apples"....red on the outside, white on the inside. Fascinating issues, and really interesting to read how you are dealing with them down in the U.S.
ETA: I was meaning to ask....what is the general attitude/law towards gay couples wanting to adopt? I'm curious....our province was the first in Canada to legalize it.
Aug 17 2006, 12:19 PM
Doodle, in most US states, its very legal for gay couples to adopt. Can't get married, but can raise kids.
What's this about scooping up Aboriginal children? What was so bad about their homelives? I thought you great white northern neighboors were supposed to be the good guys??
So, somewhat befitting this discussion. I just (and I make no joke of this) had to fill out a "Slavery disclosure" form for a government job we're bidding on. Had to swear, in a NOTARIZED affidavit, that not only did my company and its principals not exist in 1865, but that we nor none of our anscestors held slaves, profitted from the slave trade or slavery insurance. AND, that if we did, we had to provide a COMPLETE LIST of the said slaves AND THEIR DESCENDANTS.
Aug 17 2006, 12:28 PM
((msgb toe)) ouch! so, what was the diagnosis?
I quit smoking a little over a year ago. It was hard for about 3 months, but now I never crave cigarettes. Like you doodle, what got to me was "when will this end?? I'll always want to smoke unless I break the cycle." I read a book that helped me a lot too.
Doodle, you get to take your cats? Nice! That is awesome.
Gay couples adopting...there are others that can probably speak on the topic more informatively. Something related that happened to my friend the other day...she drove by somewhere where there were a bunch of young people (earlty twenties) holding up signs saying "Honk if you support marriage equality." My friend honks of course, and all the people came running to her car and were talking to her. Meanwhile some asshole in a big pickup drives by and gives her the finger. ?? She wasn't blocking traffic or anything, I guess he was just saying "F you if you like gay people!" I hate living in a red state. Fucking ridiculous.
Minx, I am proud of you for overcoming the smoking temptation!
FJ I hope you find someone to do your trees for a good price. These are the things that worry me about becoming a homeowner.
Aug 17 2006, 12:47 PM
Ach - the phone is ringing off the hook here! I just talked to NPR, they want to do a followup story during the national broadcast next week, so now I'm trying to find nice families for them to talk to - we've got plenty of them, they're just hard to get a hold of during the day. Can you believe parents have to work?
As moxies said, it is legal in, I think, 22 states for gay couples to adopt...but even in non-legal states, they can go to another state, or foster parent. About 1/3 of our domestic prospective parents are gay couples. They're they're usually my favorite families to work with - they come to adoption with an open heart, and don't have all the grief/loss/infertility issues that can really hold back some of our straight families from embracing creating a family through adoption. And they automatically "get" being a conspicuous family, because they already are.
As for public opinion - we live in a large metro area with lots of diversity, and there's pretty wide acceptance of every kind of family here, and the schools are generally very inclusive...but like Kari said - red states will be red states, and gay families in other parts of the country probably have a very different experience.
Interestingly enough, doodle, your country-folk adopt about 5,000 of our African American children every year...
Aug 17 2006, 12:57 PM
Ah, moxie. *sigh* Canada has a shameful history in how we've dealt with our Aboriginal people. The residential schools were set up by the churches (mainly the Catholic Church and the United Church) and government, funded by government, to take First Nations children from their families and "assimilate" them into white culture - they were not allowed to practice their spirituality or speak their languages, and oftentimes never saw their families again - teachers in these schools used physical and verbal abuse to control the children. We have a former residential school here where I live, and are still experiencing the fallout decades later. The fact that 60 - 80% of the homeless in my community are First Nations is no coincidence. There was a colonialistic assumption that native people were culturally inferior and unable to adequately provide for the needs of the children. Children were taken without permission of the bands or the families and put into the foster care system, where they were fostered and/or adopted into white homes...there was never an effort to place First Nations children within their own culture. A number of these homes were abusive - I used to have a partner who was one of these adopted Aboriginal children. Many people, including me, consider this a deliberate system of genocide, which we our governments have barely even begun to acknowledge. The government was also complicit with white settlers in taking land, and treaties have STILL not been established for much of it. Aboriginal people didn't even get the vote until 1960. Our Aboriginal people are still the victims of government discrimination - the 1927 Indian Act, for example, STILL supercedes all other legislation, even though women have fewer rights under it than they do under the Canadian Constitution...women's rights are at the discretion of individual band councils, and divorcing women often lose property and even their right to remain on reserves. (The irony of this is that many Nations were matrilineal and had a culture of maternal principles, until the white colonizers came.) Until recently, Aboriginal women even lost their status if they married white men, even though the same was not true for Aboriginal men who married white women! And then there's the problem of systemic racism....I could tell you many horror stories about the RCMP, just as one example. Now governments are starting to fund Aboriginal-run child welfare organizations, but of course, most of the problems facing Aboriginal families were created by white colonialism in the first place.
I could go on for pages. PM me if you like, and I can send you some links.
ETA: cross-posted with others....I'll respond more later on today...I have to do a teleconference at 1:00 and I need to prep!
Aug 17 2006, 01:06 PM
wow...moxie..you had to sign an agreement...?!!?!? and how are people supposed to come up with names if necessary? not everyone does their geneology.
kari, thanks! toe is doing muy better but is screaming at me right now...advil time.
Aug 17 2006, 01:18 PM
Quiet tiiiiime -- I can be creative!
Ooh, turbo, that's exciting!
I also find it hard to stop buying nice stuff at the grocery store -- I suppose the time might again arise where I'm living on brown rice, beans, cheese and peanut butter, so enjoy delicious healthy stuff now.
Poodle: "Storm Large" was trying to macho up "I Will Survive" Now, you can kind of do it for the first few bars, but it got ludicrous halfway thru.
I'm glad Zayra's gone too. She looked and sounded like Celine Dion, she just had cuter clothes. She seems like the kind that will coast on being cute while being a sour, catty dimwit. ech.
ms goof -- are you gong to the "KROQ Inland Invasion" by any chance? I think mouse will be there selling Hawaiian style "burn-outs"
Aug 17 2006, 01:21 PM
that's funny that you should mention the KROQ Island Invasion....one of my friends is trying to get us to go...is mouse really gonna be there? dude....this shit could happen. are there any links as to who's performing, yada yada?
Aug 17 2006, 02:30 PM
hi ladies! (and mrfj)!
this is a drive by, i've been trying to sort out my health benefits dealio (see the "work sucks!" thread for my rant about it) today and it's been kinda crazy, now i'm trying to eat lunch even tho my lunch break was technically over at 1:30.
i am not planning on going to the kroq thing, heh, nor am i selling burnout prints of dog the bounty hunter (tho, oh, i wish!). i just think wombat should come to LA in general. i am going to be all over fuck yeah fest and sunset junction, though. i donno if you wanna venture over to the EAST SIIIIIIDE for that tho ms gb
Aug 17 2006, 02:45 PM
Hello all....JUST got done with my teleconference....there's going to be a bit of breathing room for me. My hours were going to be reduced in September due to funding issues, but the coalition (the one I do the web stuff for) is going to pay me a weekly honorarium until the end of December. Had to share the good news....it's nice to have some!
Aug 17 2006, 03:53 PM
Have a great weekend everybody. I'm outta here. Thanks for listening to all of my medical issue whining.
Aug 18 2006, 01:46 AM
doodle! That rocks! good for you!
What happened last evening? Everyone super busy? We just played with the moxette per usual...hmmm...hellllooooo out there? (somehow dillusionally expects response at 4am...)
Aug 18 2006, 03:09 AM
(Just speaking so you will know there are *others* around at 4AM)
Aug 18 2006, 05:37 AM
good morning! drive-by.
hi all, I miss you.
I had a bitch of a time getting my old user name to work.
diva and poodle, email me your numbers. i will be on the road soon, i will call you when we get in.
j and i are going to make a pit stop at greg norton's restaurant. he used to be in husker du, and apparently his fancy restaurant is quite good!
Aug 18 2006, 06:26 AM
Hey BITCHES, its FRIDAY!!!!
*does a little friday jig all over the thread*
I see our dear moxie must've been up with moxette in the wee hours - *hands mox a cuppa* c[_]
I'm so very very glad its Friday, and I'm hoping against hope that maybe my boss doesn't come in, but somehow, I just have a feeling she cancelled her day off after the NYT article yesterday and the madness of all the phone calls coming in.
But, turboman and I will be reveling in the fact that we have *no plans* this weekend, whatsoever....I'm so happy about that. I'm picturing lots of cuddle time, and naps, and maybe watching some movies. But if we don't leave the house all weekend, that's ok with me!
talooooooo! So good to see you!!! And you're going to get to see poodle and diva?! So jealous....
Aug 18 2006, 06:33 AM
Two words for you, turbo: On Demand.
Great movies, never leave the couch!
Yeah, moxette was a bit of a trip last night, with gassy bubbles at 3:30 am making her scream...but, i suppose that's why we're her parents, not just her playmates. I'd have been fine if it weren't for my kitties thinking that 4:30 AM was playtime b/c momma was up. *takes cuppa willingly*
Turbo, i checked the NYT this morning, and your article was the #4 most emailed! Good!
Ok, big perspecpective client coming in shortly...gtg and perk up.
Aug 18 2006, 06:45 AM
Ha, I was right there with you, Mox (albeit an hour behind, CST & all...). Must be something going around the Global Baby Subconscious, as Tartlet's been super gassy all of a sudden. Like, yowling in pain gassy
(links elbows & swings Turbo 'round the thread, do-si-do)
Fri-DAY! Fri-DAY! Fri-DAY!
Off to burn Big New England Client in effigy....
Aug 18 2006, 06:46 AM
Oh yes, we do love the OnDemand movies - same price as the video store, and no leaving the couch...'tis wonderful. We're also waaaay behind on Deadwood, so I look forward to catching up with that.
I hear you on the kitties. I went to pee at 3am, and the happy barker guest doggie woke up and was serenading me in the bathroom....oy. I'm very much looking forward to the puppers going home tomorrow night.
awesome, mox - I'd better go check out our NYT ranking before the boss comes in.
Aug 18 2006, 06:53 AM
dude! Deadwood is ROCKIN this year...not so much fast-paced action as year 1, but the friggin development is just awesome. I'd vote for that.
I'm off to attempt a new avatar...another moxette photo, methinks...bouyed by the SIL in a bumbo. cutiepie!
ok, work. work. work. Its only 8 hours until my weekend...better than 40, right?
Aug 18 2006, 06:53 AM
Wow, funny how our brains are on totally different tracks - the first thing I thought of was "on-demand" feeding. I have GOT to get out more...
Aug 18 2006, 07:01 AM
HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY YOU HEPATITIS-RIDDEN TRUCK STOP WHORES!!!!!
Weeeee!!! Taloo's in town!!! Taloo, I will send you my number via the beast that is MySpace.
"Franken foot" Heee!!! I hope you heal soon, gb.
Yes, $30 is expensive for stomach pills--let alone $300. That's just plain ridiculous. I spend about $60/month on my meds (after insurance), and then I have multiple $25 co-pays throughout the year for my neurologist visits. Basically, the money I spend on this seizure bullshit could buy me a large iced mocha everyday. I sorta feel resentful because other people get to use that amount of money to pay off debts, etc. or save up for big purchases, but I have to spend it on medical crap. I suppose I should just be thankful that the treatment is available and that I have decent health insurance. I try not to think about the emergency room visit and gall bladder surgery costs. Fuck. I just got a bill for my swimmer's ear urgent care visit, too. Ouch!
Congrats on the NYT articule, turbo!!! What an interesting discussion. My question is, how easy/difficult is it to place african-american males in homes? I heard that black males (especially older ones) are the most difficult to place. But then you hear that there is this huge demand for babies, which is an argument commonly used by pro-lifers. I'm confused. Is the demand just for non-black children?
I took a mental health day yesterday. It was nice, although I slept for a good part of the day. I fell asleep reading and eating cheese and crackers in my bed and I woke up several hours later to Enter Sandman on my headphones. That was kinda funny.
Yay for doodle!
~*~*~*~low cost tree-branch removal vibes for the FJ's~*~*~*~
Crap. I'm running late. I better get my ass in gear. Later chicas!!
Aug 18 2006, 07:31 AM
NICE INSULT, POODLE!!!
i gots nothin!
hehe, funny that you were exiting sandman as that song came on. heee.
i stayed up far too late again last night. i was up until 1am making a new mp3 mix cd. we've got so much music on our computer, but i still wind up putting many of the same songs on my mixes. and they ALWAYS somehow start out with a beastie boy song! this one starts off with "girls
". (i just downloaded the whole thing to my work puter). right now i'm listening to nico, wrap your troubles in dreams
. what a cool song! mrfj just found it a couple days ago. this might be one of my more ecclectic mixes yet. (even some deano in here, poodle!)
anyway, after burning the cd, we went to bed and i got my second HBI of the evening. so i didn't actually get to sleep until nearly 2am. and THEN! i had the most incredible dream! i was having a big party at this huge mansion/hotel of some sort and it seems like practically everyone i've ever known in my life was there. even old bosses and people from high school. the best part: ALL MY BUSTIES were there. it was quite fun, even though i wound up getting stuck in a chair in the hot tub somehow and missing part of the party.
it was def the kind of dream that you wake from and wish it had really happened.
oh! we got the estimate: $600 for all the limbs we want cut down. MUCH better than $1750, that's for sure!! ((((thanks BUSTie vibes!!))))
ok, i have a lot of work to do today. i hope this music helps me focus.
right now, i just wanna get up and dance a friday jig with turbo and tart!i got two turntables and a mic-ro-phooooooone
Aug 18 2006, 07:36 AM
Even if you can't click on it, you can cut and paste.
In brief: GNR, Alice in chains and Buckcherry -- there are some other people too - Papa Roach, Muse, Avenged Sevenfold, whatever, that I don't care so much about.
I need to decide because if I want to do it I have to buy a ticket tomorrow -- apparently it's kind of like Great Woods here in Boston where everything sucks except the 75 dollar orchestra seats. MAYBE 55 loggia but that's pushing it.
It's at the Hyundai Pavilion in Devore California which is about an hours drive west according to Mapquest...
then I would have to get there and back and stay somewhere -- maybe the legendary hostel at Santa Monica? My cool friends there are still AWOL -- I mean, I think things are okay, I don't know, maybe they don't pick up messages on their cell phone because *I* don't, more than one person has said they left a message for me, and it should show up in Missied calls and also put an icon on my screen -- who knows.. So that's ... I may also have to rent a car unless I can hook up with people
75 plus 200 or 300 for plane plus 100 or 200 for car plus 300 for place plus food is going to add up to a thousand dollars pretty dam quick. So I don't know. I do need to take a vacay but it might be too much.
All this "but you can get cheap stuff" on the internet or from friends can get pretty uncertain. Well- shall see.
Mouse --yeah, I'd like to come to LA, but I have to save up money of my own for everything I do - no getting a loan from my parents first or falling back on them if something goes wrong. This means that I do what I say I'm going to do but it takes longer. College -- finally did it, move to new place, finally did it, get a car, finally did it, get a computer, finally did it, get decent software -- decent jobs - good hair -- as of yesterday, getting my teeth fixed and now, as of yesterday , moving on to cosmetic stuff -- traveling -- each of these steps takes a year or several years to manifest.
Move to LA is in there somewhere -- I'm sure it will be all sold to the rich by the time I arrive, because it was starting to be livable but still cheap ten years ago, and people are now rushing in in a big feeding frenzy because every single other city in the US if not the world is now a yuppie, disney, profiteering, impoverish the majority, squash the culture and progress freaking shiny hell hole, unless they have severe winter, have been taken over by republicans and have fundamentalists, giant bugs, and hideous heat, or just have no job market at all and you have to be living off the family to be there (Asheville NC, Berlin, whatevs)
ha! rant of the day!!
It would indeed be cool to see Axl sing "Rooster" with Alice in Chains -- I thought of that a long time ago.
Well, I've got some great creative toys I brought in with me, I'm making steps for mo money, mo jobs and all the fun things they will bring me...
Aug 18 2006, 07:38 AM
hmmm....poodle...there's a politically loaded adoption question for you. And yes, the demand is for white babies. We have a program dedicated to recruiting families for African American infants, so we have a 100% success rate in placement - we don't turn any woman away who seeks our services...most agencies just give African American expectant parents our phone number.
But, from our end, we have a lot of white/multi-racial families waiting to adopt African American children - and that's awesome...the challenge is in recruiting African American families to adopt. We have no issue with transracial placements, and prepare our families well for that experience. But, in order to serve our expectant parents in the best manner possible, we try to have a diverse pool of waiting families for expectant parents to choose from, including African American parents. Expectant parents do tend to prefer same-race placement at a higher level, so we try to make sure that we can offer them true choice in selecting a family for their child.
Older children are harder to place across the board, no question...most of the children who are legally available for adoption (120,000 currently in the US) are non-caucausian. There are slightly more boys available in the system to begin with, so there are always more boys waiting for a family than girls, but there is a preference for adopting girls of any age, any race from any country...so what that says about us, I don't know.
fj - ahhhh, the beasties - always a classic...now I'm gonna have to rummage through my 'pod, and find some of my own to play this morning...but really, I just like the old stuff, as it gives me fond memories of my teenage years.
Awesome dream FJ!!!
I keep having these awful dreams where people are staying in my house, or I'm entertaining, and it doesn't help my ongoing feeling of visitor fatigue. I'm hoping it all goes away when the puppies go home tomorrow. Last night I actually went scrounging around in the dark for clothes to put on to go to the bathroom in, 'cause I thought people were still staying with us...that's always a good sign of my social exhaustion - when I'm imagining guests in my sleep!
Aug 18 2006, 09:44 AM
Hi everyone! Happy Friday!
A quick driveby for me - I've been off celebrating National Marileen Birthday Week! (I turned 34 yesterday.)
So now I'm off to visit my parents so I can get my birthday cack fix! I'll be back later...
*hands out big pieces of cack to everyone in the thread*
Aug 18 2006, 09:46 AM
mmmmmm! thanks marileen!
and happppppy birthday!
*blows noisemaker and throws confetti all over thread*
Aug 18 2006, 10:02 AM
happy friday, busties!
i've been around in lurker mode lately, but i wanted to congratulate you on your article, turbo--it's really informative, and your agency sounds like the sort of agency that i hope to adopt from one day (i'm sort of coming to terms with the fact that i'll probably not be having my own kids). trans-racial adoption feels tricky to me...case in point, when i was working for the Y in a poor african-american area, the school secretary had adopted an african-american girl. her answer to keeping her in touch with her culture was to buy her all the new hip-hop albums and ringtones and stuff, however inappropriate they were for an eleven-year-old. (IMO, any eleven-year-old). i find it worrisome that white culture and african american culture are still viewed as being such polar opposites and that "blackness" and "whiteness" are innate characteristics...i don't really know where i'm going with this, and the cold medicine i took this morning isn't helping.
so, what've i been doing? ummm...i learned to knit. i'm still working on the stupid job-hunting thing right now. i'm putting in applications to be an SAT-prep tutor and a substitute teacher and whatnot, figuring if i can cobble together a couple of jobs, i might be able to save up some decent cash for grad school in a year. health benefits would be nice, though...i'd really like to be able to visit a doctor when i get sick.
anyone know anything about how i'd go about suing my landlady to get my security deposit back? i have a thousand dollars in someone else's hands that rightfully belongs to me, and i've been trying to get it back since june.
hello wombat and mouse, nice to meet you.
((poodle, doodle, turbo, tart, moxie, minxie, kari, taloo, msgb, fj))
((anyBUSTie i missed))
Aug 18 2006, 10:16 AM
G'morning everyone. Is there any coffee?
Happy b-day, marileen!
Aug 18 2006, 10:53 AM
Hi lowred! Nice to see you 'round these parts! It sounds like everything is going well for you.
Happy birfday, marileen!!!! *swallows cack whole*
There's this guy down at Jimmy John's who looks like Silent Bob, but cuter. I should eat sandwiches more often!
Weee!!! I get to leave early today to have my blood sucked!! I have to call the insurance folks, too, so that I can drive my new car tomorrow night!!! Yahoo!!! I better get started on that playlist!
Aug 18 2006, 10:57 AM
i got ho-bags and penisicles...thats it...oh well.
LRM, what about the housing board? or small claims court? good luck with that!!!
happy birthday marileen!!!! (brings out a bottle of sake and pours cups for all the busties)
nice dream fj! how did you end up in a tub in a chair? were you tied to it or just lounging about? i picture either a fluffy arm chair or some rigid cold plastic school chair....
wombat, i'd offer you a ride down to the Vortex (devore) but i am not sure if i am even going yet. TBD.
yesterday i had some sake from a juice box?!?! and it was tasty. the toe loved it. hehe
speaking of Toe...(now that my toe has its own persona)...Toe is feeling much better (Thanks for the vibes!)
poodle, i'm glad you got the franken boot....cuz that's exactly what it looks like. maybe i should rent young frankenstein tonight...hmmm...
all i know is that i need a nap...BADLY.
Aug 18 2006, 11:03 AM
just wanted to mention really quick the procedure I had a month ago has been a success so far, I won't know for sure for another 2 months but I can't help but get my hopes up a little
okay so I looked into minidirf old medical records and realized that his b/p did'nt raise much from last year and is still in the guidelines right now so I am making myself not worry
speaking of gassy babes, I think it's going around minidirf is not a baby anymore but last night had THE WORST GAS EVAH!!!!! I always wonder how so much gas and poop could come from such a small body
I was told when I was younger that I could not have kids by two seperate Drs so I came to terms with adoption and decided not to put my emotions and money into fertility treatments and such and always had this feeling of why bring a child into this world when there are already so many that need homes, but I must be the most fertile infertile woman in the world, I went off b/c and within the month I was preggers, but I think it was because I didn't expect it to happened, the only reason I went off was because my dr. had scheduled me for a hysterectomy so I didn't need it as my treatment anymore. But I do feel that adoption is a wonderful choice and would still be open to it if I hadn't been blessed with my minidirf.
I had no point, I just love kids and can't stand the thought of so many, especially the older ones just sitting there waiting for someone to want them
Aug 18 2006, 11:48 AM
i just got back from lunch. i treated myself to a wendy's spicy chicken sammich. it was tas-ty! but even though i asked for a baked potato (lame attempt at saving calories) instead of fries, they gave me BOTH. so i ended up munching on fries while driving to the park. so there went that
msgb, it was actually one of those ornate looking black metal outdoor chairs with a cushion on it. i don't know why it was in the water. it was a strange, but awesome dream. i wish i could remember more details.
oh, and i've HAD that sake in a juice box before. a korean friend says it's some of the best sake you can get here in the US. and she should know - she's every bit a connoisseur. every time we get together with her, she pulls out the sake and we always wind up waking up the next morning naked and wondering how the hell we got back to her place the night before (i should add that we are always within walking or a bike-taxi away from her condo when we party with her).
good to hear about minidirf. i'm sure that takes some worry off your mind.
lrm, i would send her a certified letter requesting the deposit. it would be helpful if you have a copy of your lease that outlines the terms of the deposit enclosed in the envelope. let her know that if she doesn't take appropriate action by refunding the deposit, you'll be taking appropriate actions on your own. when someone sees that you've taken the time to send something certified, they usually get the idea that you're serious and that you aren't afraid of taking it further if need be. and that's a heck of a lot cheaper than taking her to court. but i would think small claims would be next (although $1,000 might not be considered "small", i dunno). oh, and it probably wouldn't hurt to mention something about reporting to her the BBB in that letter...
mmm, mrfj bought me some new perfume last night. i had christian dior's addict already, but he got me the alter ego, addict II. where the first one is dark and mysterious, this one is light (yet still manages to be mysterious). i am just sitting here smelling myself. funnily enough, it was the korean friend i mentioned above that introduced me to version II one night. i was wearing I and she was wearing II. let me just say that the scents intermingled quite well...
mrfj also bought himself some new perfume - a set of three armani scents. i made him spray himself on different areas of his body last night so i could smell them all on his skin. hehe. perhaps that is what led to that 2nd HBI...
Aug 18 2006, 12:16 PM
A man that can buy perfume for himself and his lady...that's a fine skill indeed. And a man that smells good...well, that's *always* good. Turboman still doesn't seem to catch on that if he put a little work into smellin' good (and how hard is it really to pick up that bottle?), that the HBIs might just be a little more frequent...good smellin men make me hot! *makes mental note to make turboman smell gooood this evening*
lrm - what fj said about the certified letter is exactly right. I would also send that with a letter referencing your city/state's renters rights as pertaining to security deposit...it should have something in there about how many days they have to return it to you - and be sure to get your interest back too - you should also be entitled to a certain percentage of interest on your deposit.
sake in a juice box...now that's something I should try! I think I need 'ritas in a juice box though...that would really be excellent.
the people complaining about the adoption article are all on the phone today, it seems. Its kind of interesting listening to their complaints...but then you give them the pitch that we are in desperate need of african american parents so that we can give expectant parents a diverse pool of families to choose from, and "could you please help spread the word about our need for Afr. Amer. adoptive families" in your community...and well, they pretty much shut up. Don't complain if you don't want to be part of the solution!
Aug 18 2006, 12:17 PM
This is kind of a drive-by. I've been trying to keep up, but it's been hard. Will explain in a minute.
HAPPY NATIONAL MARILLEN DAY!!!!!!!!! What are you going to do for it?
Hooray for miniDirf!
And Poodle's new car!
Great article, Jenn!
There's so much more I'm sure, but I'll try to read some later. I've been busy because... I got my leave of absense approved! I start a week from Monday and will be gone for 2.5 months from this hellhole. Finally everything has come through on it.
And also, the fight with my boss is ON. We're (7 of us) making a union action out of this, too. Maybe the asshole will get the point and just quit. The union rep lady told me that he's had issues with them MANY times. So I've been trying to get everything together to work on that.
Aug 18 2006, 12:30 PM
Happy birthday Marileen!!!!! I wish I had cack right now
fj $600 is still alot but not as bad as the other quote, we are waiting on a quote to pull ALL the bushes in our yard, I'm tired of weeding around them, and they are all the pokey non-kid friendly ones. hopefully it won't be too much, and I splurged and had my yard mowed for me yesterday, I just couldn't face doing it myself.
I would also like to pull out the white picket fence, it houses many many earwigs and doesn't look all that great
lrm it's good to see you again
I am trying to decide what to do for minidirf's b-day I am so broke right now so it has to be simple, I think maybe we will go mini-golfing with my sister and her kids, and then out to dinner with my mom, and I'm sure there will be a trip to chuck e cheese in there somewhere *ughhhh* I hate that place, last time we were there 2 kids got in an all out fight and looked like they were gonna kill each other
I want sake in a juice box!!!!! I like drinking it out of the little cups, the fact that a couple thimblefulls of anything can knock my on my can is really cool, usually I feel bloated before feeling drunk with other kinds of drinks especially when not made at home and most likely watered down.
is anyone else as bored as I am today?
Aug 18 2006, 12:38 PM
werd to yo mutha, olha. i am so bored.
hi diva! good for you for getting out of that toxic place!
Aug 18 2006, 12:45 PM
fj is that a picture of you?
Aug 18 2006, 12:54 PM
I can answer that. Yes. It is. It was taken on our bed.
Aug 18 2006, 01:00 PM
mr. fj, you have one HOT woman