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Full Version: Okay...where's the "Okay...well, what about THIS?" thread?
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oh man, what i wouldn't give for a kiddie pool and a mojito....!

honestly, i have to say that i don't pity the fj's their problems at all. no sympathy coming from my corner, not at all. tongue.gif

i am getting increasingly furious because i'm wading through about three miles of red tape right now trying to get car insurance, because pennsylvania (where i'm from) is BATSHIT CRAZY when it comes to the dmv.

the story is LONG:
-i move to california
-my wallet (including my license) gets stolen
-i need to apply for a california license
-they won't let me do that unless i can prove i had a pa license (no, they are not authorized to access that information).
-i request a request form from the pa dmv
-a week later, pa dmv sends me request form
-i fill out request form, send it back
-to weeks later, pa dmv sends me my driver info
-i take it to the cali dmv and get my license

THEN i buy a car!
-i need car insurance
-they cannot set up my policy without my driver history. FOR SOME RIDICULOUS REASON, pa does not let other states access this info. the only person who can access it is THE DRIVER.

WHICH MEANS that now i have to request ANOTHER request form, wait for it to get sent to me, fill it out and send it back, then wait for the 8 day turnaround PLUS 7-10 day mailing period, THEN send that to my insurance company........which means i can't drive my car for another freaking MONTH.

WHY? WHY WHY WHY? seriously who does all of this beaurocracy HELP???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!

(sorry for the outburst. it was necessitated. back to your regularly scheduled swinging i mean programming)
hi everyone!

i can barely keep my eyes open. i'm so tired. we had family over last night and one was a 13 yr. old cousin from holland. he was hilarious! he was practicing his english on me and we were rolling all night. he cracked me up. i kept forgetting he was only 13 because he was so witty. hearing spanish spoken with a european accent is kind of weird!

holy swingers! wink.gif the fj's are really interesting peeps. i don't know if i could do something like that. i think i could but i don't think mr.shugga would. but who knows? it's all really cool to hear about though.

i have been sucking down cough drops all day and it's not helping my sore throat.

i want to snuggle with Doodle! i'm soooo sleepy. how boring. i'm hardly ever on here and when i am it's a boring post.

mouse- that sounds like a hassle and a half!!!

(((shug's throat)))

Oh god, mouse. That sounds so familiar. I absolutely hate that shit. I've had to deal with a lot of it in recent years because the whole seizure/driving thing. It always seems like every person you talk to says something different and then refers you to someone else who contradicts them and so on. (((mouse)))

I'm not down with the swingin' thing either. Sex between 2 people is complicated enough, why would you want to add more people to the mix? It just seems like a lot of drama, confusion, hurt feelings, etc., for something that isn't that special. I'm anti-HBI right now for some reason. There's just so much shit to deal with. I hope the FJs don't end up on Maury Povich someday. wink.gif
They call me da thread killah!!

Where is everyone, yo?
I'm here!!

I'm watching "The Shape of Things" in which they make Paul Rudd look very homely but Rachel Weisz and Gretchen Mol are as hot as ever....
Oh god, Rachel Weisz looks so hot in the movie. I like her a lot.

TB went to his uncle's cabin for the weekend. I didn't want to go so I stayed home. We got into a fight last night before he left to play softball (I don't even know what about) and then he got home late so we didn't really get to be together last night. I miss him now. I'm so happy to have a weekend alone but I wish we could have had a good evening together before he left.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to a movie by myself, which I love doing but don't do enough. I can't decide between Clerks 2 or Strangers with Candy.

I found a box of Girl Scout cookies in the freezer. I've had 4 and am trying to stop.
oh cod, I forgot Strangers with Candy was out....for once there are too many movies I want to see! How is a girl to decide?!

I'm sorry you and TB didn't part for the weekend on the best terms...I hope you have a relaxing weekend on your own, and just do whatever *you* want to do....
Where is everyone today? I can't possibly be the only loser with no plans today. I went shopping for shoes to wear to all those damn weddings and saw Clerks 2 (funny, exactly what I wanted it to be). Then I came home and watched Match Point (eh, nothing special) and Pretty Persuasion (ok - some funny parts). I just got done cleaning the kitchen and am debating going to bed. Yep, that's my exciting life! I really love weekends with no plans. I like not having to go somewhere or do something. I'm appreciating my last weekend of nothing for 8 weeks. smile.gif

Okay, I think I'm off to bed. Hope someone is around tomorrow!
bom dia, todas!!! (hmmm. at least i think that we are all girls in here....wonder what has happened to tommy nomad?)

i've had the moontime from hell. i have felt like doing ZIP. so that is what i have been doing. nada. so, catsoup querida, you are indeed not the only one. i just didn't have the energy to even TYPE yesterday. sometimes it is truly wonderful to be able to do nothing.

things have been so busy at work that i thought my head would explode. that, on top of cramps that would make an angel cry. it's nice to rest my brain.

mouse, that is insane. it sounds like the idiocy that i've been going through trying to get a work permit and to register as a resident alien here. except all YOU are trying to do is get a driver's licence!!! (((((mouse)))))

jenn, darling, i don't think that i ever thanked you for the care package that i found awaiting me in the usa in may. you are SUCH a dear. so thoughtful, and so very kind. obrigada!! *raises coffee cup in salute*
WOW, tes, thanks, because a couple weeks ago I swore that I never sent a thing, and then I felt bad about that....the new carnivale series should be coming out next month....I haven't bought any bpal since last fall...might be time for some new sniffies!!

And tes...mmmm.....that story you posted in BDSM.....SO good. Thank you for that...

Sounds like I've had the same kind of weekend as you guys - just doing pretty much nothing...its so nice. We did go see Pirates yesterday, and meh, I didn't like it so much. There was none of the witty banter of the first one, and that's what made the first one so much fun....this one was about 45 minutes too long. I think I'll make plans to see Devil Wears Prada sometime this week with a girlfriend...

Today, I'm lounging around the house and then.....butt flush time!!!! Wooo-hooo! Which is mostly exciting because the LUSH store is on the same block as the wellness center, and I am totally out of bubble bars - a travesty! And I have a gift cert. to spend, which makes it even better!
Hi everyone!

I spent all of yesterday sleeping for some reason. I guess it's just plain ol' depression. Anyway, the resident boy tried to wake me around (don't remember that) and my mom called in the evening and started yelling at me mostly out of concern. I made sure to get up at 7:30 this morning and hop in the shower right away though. My plans for the day include taking the kitty-poohs outside, doing laundry, general cleaning, and searching for housing.

FJ!!! Come back!!! I hope y'all understand that it wasn't my intention to offend you. What I was saying before more has to do with my own experiences and thoughts about sex. The Maury Povich comment was just a joke. I'm glad that you guys are very deliberate and choosy, and that you take the time to get to know the other couple before engaging in anything. I hope you guys had fun meeting and getting to know these people over the weekend. What couple did you end up going out with?

Indeed, there is a surplus of movies in the theaters right now. I feel like I should watch the first Pirates of the Caribbean before I see the new one. My memory is awful, so I think I'd enjoy it more that way. I can't wait to see Clerks 2. I hope they don't overdo the story though. The first one had such a simple, almost non-existant plot, which is what made it good.

Okay, I better try to be productive now, to make up for yesterday's sloth.
Yay, there's people around! Hi Poodle! Hi Jenn! Hi Tes!

Jenn, good luck with your butt flush. I wish we had a Lush store here. Flush and lush rhyme. We should write a poem with those words in it. Maybe a limerick? There once was a store named Lush, Near the place of the butt flush.... That's all I got.

Poodle, I liked Clerks 2. This one definitely has more plot but it's still good. I went to an early show yesterday (1:10) and the theater was fairly full for an early Saturday show. People our age, lots of couples, lots of single guys, and lots of groups of guys. And one older lady (she looked to be in her late 60's if not older). I thought maybe she had walked into the wrong theater but she stayed for the whole movie. I wasn't close enough to her to see if she was enjoying the movie, but it made me happy to think about being older and still going to fun movies like this one.

Okay, I need to get my ass in gear and start moving. I actually have lunch plans today with a friend. And then we might go see The Devil Wears Prada.
Poodle! You didn't offend us. We weren't checking the forum. And anyway, it's a given that our values aren't anyone else's. We don't expect people to share ours and they're certainly free to express their differing attitudes.

So anyway... we finagled couple #2 to hang out with us Friday night. That went as predicted - only confirmed what we suspected. Nice but no all-around warm fuzzies. We were direct and told them so. They seem to be okay with it, seemed to have figured it out already. Looks like we'll still be able to hang out with them platonically which is nice.

Poetically, couple #1 cancelled on our Saturday evening plans. All that worry for nothing. So we ended up sofa-bound for the evening channel surfing and smoking weed together. We slept in late this morning and hit the beach for a while. We bought some mexican petunias on the way home from the beach. Maybe we'll plant them in the yard somewhere this afternoon.
hee. thanks for that poetic update, mr fj. i think that it is really cool that you hang out here with us. you and ms. fj kick ass.

speaking of ass, i wonder how jenn's butt flush is going. can you believe the shit that we talk about in here??? can i just tell everyone how MUCH i am groooving on the new lounge with the IGNORE feature???? wooooooooo hooooooooooooooo. never have to ever read a post i don't want to!!! hahahahaha!!! stooooopid people who post obnoxious pix and verses! begone!

*fundies disappear in poof! of black, oily smoke*

poooooooooooooooooodle. are you feeling depressed??? i spent most of yesterday sleeping, too....and i don't think i'm depressed. just tired.

i hope that diva and giant are having a great weekend!! they deserve it!!! (as do we all!!!)

i have nothing worthwhile to add to the conversation. i would be willing to be a swinger, but mr. hotbuns would not. so there you have it. there is more risk in an open relationship, if people don't know how to differentiate between primary connections and "others". it happens a lot.

my name is tes. i am a lush virgin.
Ok lady, I was serious about needing to do something about your lush virginity. E-mail me with your address. I am sending you some lush. Weedy did it for me. I am popping your cherry.
I seriously cannot believe it that tes is a LUSH virgin....that is almost unbelievable!! I'm not sure if we can send tes LUSH in Africa, I know bpal doesn't get through....would bath goodies? Certainly nothing meltable, that could be a real mess!

hi mr. fj, I'm sorry your plans with couple #1 fell through, but it sounds like you had a nice evening at home anyhow....and I'm glad you got everything worked out with couple #2.

Oh, how glorious the butt flush was!!! Ok, well not precisely glorious, but I am well on my way to detoxifying! The best part of the whole thing was really the LUSH stop...and they gave me a bunch of samples, which is always cool. Is it bad that the sales associates recognize me?! And it was nice that I had a gift cert, so the LUSH goodies were free free free!
Tessie is NOT a Lush virgin, nor any OTHER type of virgin.

Hey laaaaadies!!!

I can't sleep. It probably has something to do with sleeping all day Saturday. Ah well, it's all good.

I took my cats over to my parents' house so they could play in the back yard, which was fine and dandy for a couple hours. Gus is more comfortable with the outdoors, so he seemed to have a really good time. Oscar has very little experience with the outside world, so he had a meltdown after a while. I think he felt threatened or something because he's the dominant one and he was out of his element. Now they're doing their whole social order thing, which involves Oscar reigning over the apartment and Gus hiding underneath the couch or sitting up on his ledge. I figure I'll just let em hash it out. I hope this doesn't last for too long.

"Oh, how glorious the butt flush was!!!" Bwahahaha!!! Heelarious!

Well, I don't really have anything else to talk about. I suppose I'm gonna try to fall back asleep.

Hellooooo all.........

It's very late, or very early, depending on how you look at these things. My sleep is all messed up from here I am!

I am proud to say I've spent the weekend doing not much of bloody anything. It's very hot. 40 Celsius...about 105 for you Yanks. Which is normal for this time of year. But too hot to do much of bloody anything. And it's all tourists out there, anyway! Watched a few of my fave videos...Muriel's Wedding, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, and this Brit one, Bedrooms & Hallways. (It started as an Aussie-a-thon, but then I was inspired by Priscilla to watch another one with Hugo Weaving in it. Such a lovely man.) And I slept lots, that was nice. Carmella is now a permanent on-the-bed sleeper, despite my earlier efforts to the contrary. Also, since the kitties can only have the balcony open for a few hours (during the early, early morning), I built them a couple of temporary "forts" out of fabric and cardboard, and by fiddling with furniture a bit. Keeps their brains busy - they can find new ways to attack one another, but mainly new sleeping venues!

I've been avoiding the Lounge because I didn't want to be at the computer this weekend, after being on it so long during the week. I promise I'll be back and I'll be a better Okayer soon! Real soon, y'all, hear? Hee!

Thirty-one days till Blue Rodeo. *swoons*
Good monday, lassies.

Thanks for the moxette vibes- she is feeling her usuall self today. Mama on the other hand...ugh. I love high-dose cold meds. smile.gif

So, we had a really low-key weekend. Spent friday night at our BF's birthday party, and despite the kid-friendly environs, i still managed to get tipsy. It rocked. So many trused friends, drinks tend to flow. Moxieman drove us home. The rockin part is that at 9pm, all the kids are put to bed, wherever we are, so we still get adult time together with our friends. Saturday, we too saw "Pirates"- I have to go with the "middle movie" theory- it was the lull in the story- middle movies generally are. Sunday, moxieman had moxette at his parent's house all day- I ran errands (if shopping for myself counts!) and got a nap. Then, made the yummiest cheese fondu for dinner. Which will be thinnned out and used as pasta sauce later this week. Yum again.
mornin' ya'll!

Moxie, your weekend sounds fab!

I think I've definitely determined that fasting over a weekend is a big drag...its amazing how limited our entertainment is when I'm not eating food. Drinks with friends on the patio...nope....dinner...nope...sitting at the outdoor cafe in our 'hood...nope...ah well. The good thing is that I am feeling really good today, slept really well last night, and woke up when the sun came up, ready to go. My body is really feeling much lighter and brighter, and I needed that bump.

I think we have the best kitty mamas in this thread - doodle's crafting new kitty hideouts, and poodle takes hers on the road - I love it!

My quest for today is finding an electrician to come to our house and fix all our broken 220v outlets, so we can get the new AC unit installed. poo. I didn't really count on spending money on an electrician, but we're at a better to be safe and call a professional.
Turbo- there are special converter sets for high voltage units at most hardware might want to try that first. We learned of them through my uncle, the electrician.

Happy Mondays, y'all!!

I felt bad about dragging myself around too, until I heard it is a side effect of the heat!!

Seriouly, no matter how good a shape you're in, it's something called "heat lag"

So, I'm psyched about my weekend! I had to get up early to get my smashed car window fixed -- after a week of laggy draggy and my weird yoga class, I got up early Saturday OWWW to get glass fixed -- frat jerks mess with people's cars, luckily this is only the second time in the ten years I've had the car and parked it in this neighborhood.

Also the repair place is in the middle of effing nowhere -- one of those endless suburbs where it's all flat under the sun with little crappy houses and concrete stip malls and streets with no signs.

It ended up really cool though!! The guys were nice, they told us about a breakfast spot close by, we had a giant vegetable omelet and french toast, and we saw these cute little bright yellow -- like
DAYGLO yellow! birds eating those blue cornflower plants. Best of all the repair was FREE and fast -- covered by insurance!! Those guys were so great I'm going to write a "good guy" letter to their management and to the dealership.


Saw the Black Crowes and Robert Randolph!! So super! I take it back Black Crowes your career is okay! We got there about 730 pm after I went to the hairdresser and me and the boy had a mexican gourmet dinner that couldnt be beat!! Seafood and garden greens and the best pepper sauce!
then we drove out and got great tickets front and center same day of show!!

Cause they had so few advance sales , right? well, robert randolph did his Stax like thing and the place was nearly empty and the sun was still up, but we started getting more and more people and going really nuts, so by the time his set was over he was just beaming with glee, and he did "Voodoo Chile" STANDING on his pedal steel. Then---- I looked bacck and saw wispy clouds of sunset flying by, so pretty, perfect temperature, then I bought the boy frozen margaritas, cause the tickets he bought! and they were pricey!! They were expensive, but good. Otherwise they just sell crappy beer in plastic cups for too much money.

By the time the Black Crowes came on the place was packed !! I swear it sold out later!! Everybody drove down last minute like us!! They did a long set with this cool lighting and they are such cute long haired hippie boys! We had a blast! We also bought some cool leather stuff for not much money at a cool booth.

All and all -- just slammin'

Moxie - glad to hear the little one is doing well. I used to think I was extraordinarily sickly as a child, but all children get weird stuff all the time! They are just little bitty humans trying to deal with this world ... ungh!! I used to love the kids that screamed at the bakery when it was crowded cause I felt like screamimg too! I would offer them bagels or cookies and the management never criticized me for it.

turbo!! awesome
tes -- lush is cute soap that is all moisture and smelly and cool and sensual -- but it can also be kinda sugary. I'm sure they have a website -- they're London based so I bet they'd deal with SA pretty well

((doodle)) ((poodle)) waah!! ~*~*~feel-y better-y ~*~*~

mouse -- so you come from Pennsylvania, live in California and are the expert on the Boston MFA, which is "your" museum? I'm confused. Or maybe you are.

FJ and Mr. FJ -- hey, II have sympathy!! I'm a little envious, not in a bad way. The bad parts to the "open relationship" mr. fj mentioned kind of put us off of it. That's also what you find sleeping around, too often -- too many creeps as the old bust tetras girl punk song goes. I'm not against people that do it -- I just got weary. It's true that when it does work it's miraculous.

My guy is still so beautiful though, and he did a ton of things for and with me this weekend.

we're on the upswing...
Turbo, the outdoor cafe in your neighborhood? Is that the one around the corner from you, across the street from the gas station - an asian cuisine/sandwich shop/whatever restaurant, I think? If so, that guy is one of my advertisers. He runs a massage table import business from an office upstairs.
Indeed, mr fj, that lakeside cafe is one of my favorite spots, but not for sitting outside - too many stinky diesel busses drive by, which is not appetizing, but they do have the most delicious vegan tofu-polish sausage with kraut and excellent vegan desserts.

And the funny thing is, I discovered the massage table sales place the week *after* I bought my table. bummer. Well, next time I'm buying a table, I'll definitely go there....someday I'll want an upgrade. And next time you're visiting that'll bring fj and come stay with us, right?! always have such exciting weekend plans!! But really, most of the time, I don't think I'm up to your stamina for weekend activities! The concert sounds like it was great....and I'm drooling over that breakfast you had....
Goooood Morning!

Sounds like all of you had nice, relaxing weekends. Good!

Mine was nice as well. I stayed in Friday night, got take out sushi & watched tv. Saturday I had class, which was a drag, but I made it. Sat. night we played poker. I did not win. Yesterday Mr K & I drove around different areas looking at houses. We also went to the flea market.

One bad thing though-I found out some fuckwad stole my debit card number & charged up a bunch of stuff in CA. Fortunately, my bank caught it. My acct has been frozen all weekend & will be til I get my new card. I hope they make it snappy, it's a real pain in the ass. Jerks!

Wombat-Sounds like the show was awesome! Sorry about your car. But yay for you & your guy being on the upswing. Sweet.

Jenn, glad to hear your buttflush was successful. You are all squeaky clean now? I can't imagine a weekend without eating good stuff!

Moxie, glad to hear moxette has recovered.
It sounds like everyone had great weekends!

Mox, you've got yourself a good man.

Doodle, I'm glad you didn't do a damn thing. 105? Holy shit. I'd probably leave town.

I was good for the cats to have an adventure, although there's definitely some confusion and stress around here. I think it will go away though. I just have to be patient while Oscar re-establishes his territory. It's almost like he owns the majority of the apartment and, rather than the two sharing, Oscar "allows" Gus to be in certain areas. I try to make it clear that I'm the true boss by gently pushing Oscar's head down and yelling "NO!" when he gets pissy. It actually works when done consistently. Oscar quietly goes away and Gus is more likely to come out from under the table/couch.

Crap! I'm gonna be late for work! Again!


Hi karianne!!!
good morning lovelies!

argh. this is the kind of day that makes me want to go back home and stick my head under the covers. mondays suck as it is, but i'm grumpy and would prefer if NO ONE would talk to me and my phone NOT ring. alas, it isn't happening.

i actually got up a little earlier than usual and got to work on time, so that's a good thing, right?

ah, i just hate following a fantastic weekend with this work crap.

i need to win the lotto. pronto.
I hear ya, FJ.

It's sunny, too. I hate sun. I can't wait for fall.

I need more coffee.

I just got back from the eye doctor. My eyes are all dilated and weird. My desk at work faces a big window and is really sunny so instead I'm sitting at a desk downstairs in the clinic with my sunglasses on. It's kind of nice hiding down here.

Sounds like lots of people had good weekends. I'm glad. We all deserve good weekends.

FJ, can I win the lottery with you?
Bah! Good effing morning. I just locked myself out of my apartment while trying to get laundry done before it gets too hot. Had to awaken three people to get back inside. Bah! I haven't locked myself out since I was a twelve-year old latch key kid. (Had a mean landlord then. He didn't like kids. Cured me of locking myself out!)

Good effing morning.

*goes off in search of coffee*

ETA: I just realized today is the 2nd anniversary of Georgie's rescue!
D'oh! That sucks, doodle! Dontcha just love crap like that?

Hi catsoup!'d love it FJ. MrFJ and I have been chatting about John Denver. Just writing about him brings a tear to my eye (JD, that is). Seriously. His music makes me cry. I was telling mrFJ that I'm gonna have an all John Denver wedding someday. The ceremony would end with Annie's Song.
Hello Bee-utiful Busties!

I just wanted to step in and say Hi.

The A/C in the office is pumped today. Im freezing. Usually I wear a tank and a skirt so you can imagine how pissed I am being stuck here fridgid and underdressed. Its funny because this past weekend in Toronto was rainy and cool wheras the weather up to now has been smokin hot. I don't get it, make the office colder on an already cold day??? *le pout*

I want lunch.

citrussss - I always keep two sweaters (one black, one brown) in my office for just such days. Here, its 90 degrees outside, and yet my office is still a chilly 60 degrees, so I've got my sweater on...and I don't even have the AC on in my office! I hate not really being able to control the climate in the office. Stay warm!

Lunch sounds good to me too!

Hi doodle! I'm glad you found your way back into your apartment! I've got a semi-regular habit of locking myself out...'cause I don't have a car, and turboman leaves after me for work, I can just toddle out without keys very easily...or when I walk turbo, he gets so excited, I just walk out the door without them. I've now got three neighbors with my keys.

Happy "gotcha day" Georgie!! I think we need some Georgie under the rug photos to commemorate this occasion! Perhaps some haiku, even....
Yes, falljackets. I won the lottery this weekend and never having to come into work again will be lovely. Oh wait. That was just my dream. Damn it.

Wow. It's a Georgie anniversary. Hmm, his rescue is one of the first Bust stories I remember following. Weird.
hi citrussss!

i am perpetually cold in my office. i live in NoFl, where it's in the 90s by mid may if not sooner. but i run my little space heater at least for a few minutes every day. i share a thermostat with the welding office, which is attached to the shop. the shop has open bays at all times, so the air gets blown right out the doors, causing the office guys to crank it up. so i'm always freezing unless i have the heater on.

i'm almost afraid to say that i haven't locked myself out completely in a while, because i might jinx myself.

i have to say i like the way we can see all the posts on this board, even when we're posting. it makes it easier for people like me who have no short-term memory... huh.gif

we're having a thunderstorm today. it's black and rainy outside. i wish the power would go out. then i'd go home. yes. that would be sweet! i doubt it would happen.

i feel bad because it's raining and mister boots went outside this morning and wouldn't come back in. i kept telling him that it was going to rain and he'd better get inside. poor little boy. i'm sure he'll find a nice warm shelter to hide under, but i still hate that he isn't inside. but, he made his choice! hehe. actually, i picked him up and took him in the house, but he snuck back out when i went to walk grover. little booger.

FJ- you just reminded me that I have a sweater in my closet- thanks! Its not particularly chilly, but when you feel like ass, anything comfy helps.

So, last week's feeling of accomplishment and self-worth came crashing down around me at lunch today. I was depositing a check, and the teller asks me if I was expecting-a baby. I replied my standard- "nope, just holding onto the last 10 lbs of the one I have" with a cherry smile. Always throws people off. Anyway, i said with a smile, but inside I crumbled. Gah- I hate that random strangers can affect my mood and self worth like that. Add to it that I really shouldn't exercise today (again, feel like ass), and all I want is chocholate. God dammit. Cravings be gone!

Georgie's anniversary- WOW! I remember hearing of his daring escape, and thinking "Man, that doodle's a rockin mama!" Boy-o, was I ever right.

I wonder how we would handle the open relationship. Probably not well at all. I had such little experience before moxieman (i couldn't help it, i dated repressed catholics), that my entire worldview of my personal sexuality involves him. I actually like that very much- its another dimension to our relationship that is unique. Of the things I've had fantasies about, open relationship just hasn't entered the picture. I don't have any problem with it, it just hasn't come up. Hm. Something to think on, I suppose. FJ- can I ask what led you and/or MrFJ to open relationship?
hello peeps!!!

thank cod its supposed to be cooler later this week....i worked an event OUTSIDE on saturday in 114 degree heat!!! in a frickin poodle skirt! the tips sucked (7 bucks!?!? wtf!!?!) but at least no one got heat stroke/exhaustion. we had the sprinklers turned on and were passing out squirt guns. Later me and mr. gb went to a friends 10pm it finally got down to 90 degrees and we were watching lightning flashes in the sky! i got tipsy, made great guacamole, had fantastic carne asada with grilled veggies and laughed alot.

sunday was just a chill day. we slept in and sat around. i sorted thru my moms stacks of old magazines and tossed the oldest ones-she's a huge magazine hoarder. but i kept the last two years so she won't really notice..but i threw 2 armfuls in the recycle bin. i picked up dinner at 8pm cuz it started to cool off(again 90 degrees) and just chilled on the deck with some iced tea lemonade. humidity is up to 48% which is super high.

mouse, thats our calif. dmv for ya. they suck. period. (((sympathy vibes)))

i'm going to walmart today to get an inflatable kiddie pool....i can't take the heat no more.

tonite my sister arrives to visit for a month!!! yay!!! biggrin.gif
Hee! Trust turbo to mention those pics! smile.gif

Here is Georgie on his rescue day - July 24, 2004.

Here are the Georgie-under-the-rug pics turbo mentioned. (Scroll down about halfway.)

I am pleased to report that 2 years of rehabilitation (i.e.: expensive cat food, lots of pettins, and eleventy bazillion toy mice) has resulted in a very social, gentle, and affectionate boykitty...not to mention his extraordinary good looks. biggrin.gif
Moxie, can I just say that when we saw you last, I thought you looked *fabulous* - and you, my dear were my inspiration to get my ass back to the gym!! You've gotten amazing results pretty quickly since having the tot, and you have no reason to feel bad about yourself whatsoever.

Ms gb, I love that you're going to get a kiddie pool - I shall picture you and mr gb hangin' in the pool with a couple of cold, refreshing bevvies!

Thanks Doodle!!! ....You know how I love seeing piccies of Georgie! *runs off to look at pics*

i can't believe people are saying they're cold......seriously i don't think i even know what that term means anymore *pants*. i'm jealous of your thunderstorm, fj. i always like a good thunderstorm. ms gb i can't believe you were outside yesterday--gah! i was sweltering and i spent the whole day in front of my new fan.

(the cali dmv has actually been great to's the pa dmv i've been having trouble with. but hopefully everything is getting sorted out today and then i can FINALLY. DRIVE. MY. CAR!)

doodle, is george a kitty? how was he rescued?

wombat, i'm not confused smile.gif i went to school in boston and worked at the mfa for two years (in the youth and family learning depts, which are getting cut, ugh). i'm only teasing you. anyway, i think we went over this before, didn't we figure out we lived in the same area at different times? jp, green street? or am i thinking of a different bustie?

don't be fooled by just pennsylvania/california. i've moved nine times in the past two years alone tongue.gif
Moxie, mind if I answer that too?

Several factors worked on us at once. We'd both come from previous marriages. Bad ones. Unhealthly, life-sucking death spirals. We felt disenchanted with the whole institution and for a while we honestly thought the whole thing was a joke. So when we fell in love, and we fell hard and honestly with a singular kind of sincerity, we felt as though that love would always exist independently of any social contracts. In that respect, we rejected many of the expectations that accompany marriage: how you must behave, what you are supposed to be. I also knew FJ was about as bisexual as a girl could be - equally likely to fall in love with the right female as the right male. If that was so, and her bisexuality was legitimate, I didn't think it was fair to deprive her of that side of her (my sister is a lesbian who comes down militantly on the side of nature over nurture. You could say her passion was an influence). I suppose you might disbelieve me if I told you I wasn't in it to ride the coattails of a willing hottie for free strange but it's true. We'd gone through such stifling relationships. I really just wanted her to enjoy her life and that meant allowing her to follow her inclinations wherever they led her, even if it meant leading her away from me. Also, we came to this understanding that love and all its various incarnations (lust, infatuation, etc..) are biochemical responses to stimuli we have remarkably little voluntary control over. I mean, you can hardly say that all other women/men cease to be attractive simply because you fell in love in love with one of them. Denying that would be a fallacy and it seemed only right that we allow each other to chase our instincts if done with the proper moderation and mutual respect for the relationship first which so far I think we have.

In the beginning we agreed upon a ton of rules. There would be no kissing. No other men. Blah blah blah. It was anethema to the freedom we were giving each other but while we were giddy with the lattitude we were offering each other we were also afraid to lose what we'd found in the other person. So pardon the temporary hypocrisy. Those rules didn't last long. Along with bogus (for us, at least) societal demands, we discovered we'd also had enough of jealousy. We've almost never had an issue with it. So we opened ourselves up to gratifying more and more sexual urges until there was very little we wouldn't consider possible. We realized that sex with other peple was not a threat - to our egos or our love. We were very secure that at the end of the day, when the foreign DNA had dried, it would be she and I sharing an inpenetrable love. The rest was just recreational orgasms albeit with people we cared about. What's emerged is an open relationship. If she wants to do something with someone else, she can. I trust her to be honest about it because she sure has no incentive to be deceitful. And vice versa.

We didn't go into anything attempting to be swingers. I guess what happened was that we went one step further than simply opening ourselves to the possibility of being with others. We went looking for it. And about the only place to look was in the swinging community. We've never felt a part of that subculture and to this day we exhibit some passive-aggressiveness towards it for reasons I've already discussed.

I could go on and on about it. It's a fascinating turn we've made and, so far, an emotionally rewarding one despite some of the aggravations.
doodle, your cats are so beautiful!

Moxie, I cannot believe that teller! Ditto what turbo said. Try not to feel bad about yourself.
Hee! You're welcome, turbo...aren't we due for some piccies of turbodogg?

mouse, yes, George is my boy. He got rescued from a 10 X 4' apartment balcony, where, as a kitten, he was being locked out 24 hours a day, in 105+ F weather. I stole him. But only after investigating the situation and attempting to go through legal channels (i.e., reporting his owner to the SPCA). My BFF and I tried to climb the balcony, but we couldn't quite get him. In the end, my landlady (the owner of three cats herself) let me in to the guy's apartment, and I smuggled the kitten out in my purse! I wasn't even intending to keep him - just rescue him. But he won my heart over. smile.gif

ETA: x-posted with kittenb...thanks!
oh doodle! i have to say again: he's such a lovely, *handsome* cat!!!

((((moxie)))) sorry you're feeling bad. try not to focus too much on those extra pounds. just look at that little baby you made! smile.gif if it makes you feel any better, last year, about three months after i miscarried, i guess the word hadn't gotten to EVERYONE that i was no longer pregnant. so this guy comes in my office and says, "oh, i can finally see now. you're starting to show." and i was like, "WTF????????? i'm not fucking pregnant anymore you asshole!!!". argh. hey, way to point out ALL my downfalls in one fell swoop dickface!


mox, we started this whole thing at the onset of our relationship really. we were both married when we met at work. both thought the other was very happy, etc but recognized an attraction so we avoided each other like the plague for nearly a year. when it became office knowledge that i was seperating from my ex, and that he was also very unhappy, we started emailing each other and sharing our experiences. because we didn't have a relationship riding on anything, we talked very candidly about a lot of things, monogamy being one. i told him that i didn't believe in it anymore. and he agreed. basically, we were both incredibly jaded by the faulty relationships we were in.

now, he also knew that i am bisexual. so when we finally gave in to our feelings for one another and developed a relationship, he told me that he didn't want to prevent me from having another relationship with a female, whether it be purely sexual or based on friendship. at that time, i told him that i didn't think it would be fair for me to be able to go out of our relationship and that he should have the same right. so we finally agreed that if i met a girl that was also interested in him, we'd cross that path. but there would be no other guys. that was the main rule.

so months passed and we hadn't shared ourselves sexually with others at all. we played around on icq and aol to find bi girls in town but never got beyond the chatting phase. then, one day his best friend (guy) from high school came over. we started drinking tequila, went to the hot tub, drank more tequila and i started dancing in my bikini. we all danced and laughed for hours and then mrfj asked me if i wanted to fuck his friend. and i DID want to. so we all went upstairs.

the next morning, as i was shaking the cobwebs out of my head, i rolled over and mrfj was just staring at me, sort of grinning. we weren't sure what to make of what had happened. we went on a long walk on the beach that day and decided that a) we liked it and cool.gif we were ok as a couple still. in fact, it seemed we were better because we'd trusted each other and done something sort of secret together if that makes any sense.

so after that, we decided maybe we should toss all the rules out (like no guys, no kissing, etc) and just see what happens. we made a pact that if one of us decides for whatever reason that they want to stop, we will do it right then. we go through stages it seems. sometimes we go 6 months or more without meeting anyone new or hanging out with anyone. but then other times, we meet 3-4 couples in a months time. and usually, we don't sleep with them, at least not right away.

so far, this has worked well for us, mainly because when jealousy or hurt feelings come into play, we address it immediately and honestly with each other. if i thought for a second that anything i was doing would put my relationship with mrfj in jeopardy, i'd walk away from it in a second.

damn, mrfj not only beat me to it, but he put it much more eloquently.

Doodle-not intending to keep him my foot! hehe. I remember how longingly and lovingly you care for wee georgie--he had you in about 20 seconds!

Mrfj- that sounds really awesome, to tell the truth. You two seem just so honest about who you are individually and as a couple. Thanks for sharing it.
fjs, you guys so totally rock! I love your shared thoughts on how your relationship evolved, and I love that it has been a natural evolution for you...makes me kind of go hmmm....well, that *could* be very nice! I guess for me, I'd be down with it, but finding the right people sounds like it could be a lot of work, and well, I'm naturally inclined toward laziness when it comes to social planning. We do know one couple in our 'hood who have an open relationship, and who've dropped little hints of encouragement to us, but I'm just not interested in the guy...his wife, sure...
Ok, so thinking this through more- i absolutly see where you're coming from, FJs. When moxieman and i were starting to talk about marriage, it was something of a sticking point that i had only been with him. I felt I "should" have had more experience- but then, after alot of thinking and talking, i just realized that since we've been together, i love sex with him. Just him. The two seem linked. I so value that for myself, being honest about what and who I want. I value that in my friends, too.
Cool that you're in an honest space with each other, Moxie. Even cooler that your relationship nurtures that kind of honesty.

I hope, when we discuss our values, we don't come off as though they are somehow superior to anyone else's. You know, if only you guys "got it" you'd be happy like us. That's not what we mean at all...
Hi, peeps!

Back from vacation and only have a minute before Asshole Boss starts looking over my shoulder. And I hope he reads that. Anyway, we had a lovely time in Duluth. Lots of HBIs for our anniversary, lots of walking around outside. We went up to the lighthouse (not as cool as everyone says), Gooseberry Falls (sucked because of all the teenagers running amok among other things), saw the mansion (really cool), and took a boat cruise out on the lake and saw a ton of huge ships up close that we could only squint at before. Our hotel on Saturday night was amazing. From our window and balcony, we were maybe 400 feet from the ships as they came in under the lift bridge (the bridge actually raises up when boats need to cross it) with a completely unobstructed view. It was pretty damn cool.

A really bad thing happened over the weekend, though, that my mom told me about last night. My hometown had it's very first murder in the city's history on Saturday night, and it was one of my youngest brother's (Sam's dad) old drug friends. Somebody shot him in the head. They caught the guy and he basically confessed to it, but still, it's pretty rough. I wonder if he's going to the funeral. I guess he was a pretty good friend of Sam's mom (her dealer, we think), so she was really broken up about it. I'm figuring that the guy was running his mouth when he shouldn't have been (he's never known when to shut up) and it finally got him killed. So it goes.

Anyway, sorry I didn't have a chance to read the archives. I promise I will after my asshole boss leaves.
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