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QUOTE(girltrouble @ Aug 16 2008, 04:22 AM) *

what are the top 3 things/traits/techniques you've loved about people you've played with,
3 worst things/traits/techniques?

Top 3 things/traits/techniques that I love:

1) I agree with playfulness during sex. My ex was too serious during sex. Sometimes things just make you laugh. Oh, and I'm also a big fan of wrestling. I also see teasing as being part of the playfulness.

2) Mindgames-on the giving and receiving end. Intellectual banter really turns me on. There is a certain level of sophistication there.

3)Sex in public-had fun with my ex having sex in a car, in the woods, movie theater, random places...the car one was fun and the level of difficulty with a female partner was interesting...

Top 3 things/traits/techniques that are the worst:

1)Lack of communication-not moaning/talking/making sounds during sex. And/or not telling me what you want in bed and acting irritated cause there are things we haven't done. I had 1 lover act that way with me. Totally immature.

2)Closed minded-i like to try different things and approaches in sex play. There is no fun in having kinks and/or fetishes if you don't share it with someone.

3)I agree with culturehandy...I don't like sex and/or positions to come out of obligations. Um, sometimes, I don't want to be eaten out. Don't think you are a warrior cause you initiate going down on me.

so this last weekend, i went to a play party. it's only the second one we've been to, and i kind of felt sorry for daddy. i kind of figured out that i don't like to be submissive in anything but a private arena. it feels way to vulnerable to me. it was fun, although way less 'swinging from the rafters' than i would have thought before hand. it was a private house, and there was two play rooms, although people were playing in other rooms. there was a medical room with anything you could have imagined. and more. it was fun, i'm going to post more in my blog if anyone is interested. i don't want to bore everyone with the details.

Play parties...hmmm, it's been a while since I attended one, but most memorable was having everyone (about 6-8 couples) sitting around the wall of a pretty much empty room (pillows, pads, toys were the exception), then having the lights turned out. It was completely dark & we all migrated towards the center, stopping to pleasure (as you desired) anyone that you encountered along the way. There was a lot of freedom because you didn't know who you were with, who was with you, and nobody knew what you were doing to whom. There was no judgements based on looks or personalities, or experimentation. Everyone enjoyed it. I recommend it for your next encounter!
oh no bob, this was a bdsm play party. no dark rooms, just play rooms, and lots of dom/mes and their bags of equipment. food, drink, etc.

ETA:scratch that blog post. i wrote it, and what do you know? the site ate it, saying i wasn't logged in, and i don't feel like re-writing it.
i just had to sneak in here and share. daddy's roomate has been kind of a brat lately. he has been heckling me and yesterday he was poking at me after it told him not to (i know, it's childish), but i think he was kind of pushing me to top him a bit, so i was twisting his nipples out of spite, and ordering him to drop his arms while i did, well he told me he wasn't my sub so he didn't have to. so i told him that since he wanted to be a smart ass, i would go over his head and talk to his domme about "loaning" him to be my sub so i could teach him a lesson. i tongue-in-cheekily told him i would "grind him into dust" and this weekend he would "examine my wrath!!!" but he razzed me. well i just got an email from his domme, and i have permission to kick his ass!!!! whoooooo!

the funny thing is, he thinks that i can't really hurt him since he is such a heavy duty pain sub, but he don't know me very well do he? heh. i may not use a flogger or a whip like his mistress, and i may not cane his dick like his play partner, but see how much he likes it when i take my nails and score his cock. oh he's gonna hurt and he's soooooo not gonna like it.

heh... mutha fucka is MINE! hee hee!

*does the snoopy dance*
ok, 2 new questions:
  • what was your first experience with kink?
  • what was your first experience introducing someone to kink?

again, kink is self defined so it can be pretty much anything you tried that wasn't the missionary. it could be anal, hell it could be french kissing for all i care. it really is up to you to decide what is kinky. whatever you thought at the time was "exotic" sexually..... even if it's mundane now...

and feel free to answer the old questions if you haven't, but you are so inlined.
to refresh your memory: what are the top 3 things/traits/techniques you've loved about people you've played with, 3 worst things/traits/techniques?

my first intro to kink was my first real girlfriend, although i didn't sleep with her till years later (xtian guilt made me want to be a virgin wayyyyyy too long), i still just adore her, but i tend to be that way about anyone i've dated. it was highschool and she was fantastic. she totally respected my wanting to remain a virgin, but did her level best to corrupt me doing everything but intercourse. but the two things she gave me was a playfulness and an openess, i never would have had otherwise, and the staying a virgin actually de-emphasized that part of sex, and made making out, kissing and caressing much more important and moving to me. but i'm not talking about the kink now am i? it was a nose job, which to this day i'm not sure how i feel about it. she had pushed me down on the bed, and straddled me. as usual she and i were joking, laughing and messing around and some how she asked me if i had had a nosejob. i laughed. who had heard of a nose job? i asked her what it was, but she would say nothing only that i had to let her do one on me, no questions, just yea or nay. i said yea. she had me put my hands down by my sides and then straddled my arms too so that i could not move them. there was no going back. she started out kissing me then moved up to my nose, licking the outside, then she licked the bit inbetween the bottom of the nostrils, then her mouth briefly engulfed my nose, i was getting wood and she seemed to be into it, taking her time. then she slowly stuck her tongue up my nose, one nose hole at a time, wiggling it lasciviously, as it went in and out of me. i was weirded out until the sensation took over, it tickled a tiny bit, but it felt oddly nice. she did the other nostril, and then hopped off of me, laughing and giggling, but somewhere in there i realized the risk she was taking. sticking your tongue in someone's nose... that's not something you do. it's not just kinky, it's weird. and i really respected her for that....she insisted that i do her, and i did. it was fun. to this day i like the idea of doing a nose job. it's strangely sentimental to me.


i'm thinking about doing more needle play this weekend. saline inflation of meh bewbehs to be more specific. next week is a huge kink thing in the washington forest, i might want to try some purely ornamental needle play on my boobs. i don't know if daddy and i will go, but i'm kinda hoping we do.... and i am trying to figure out some sort of predicament bondage/cbt for daddy's roomate. i'm also thinking of wearing these heels i have, and doing some heel cock trampling. i'm suddenly wanting to try all kinds of cbt on him. even sounds. i think i might have to go to the hobby shop and get some of my favorite toy clothes pins. to cover his balls and shaft, and, i'm told it hurts most around the pee hole... perhaps some cock caning and icyhot on his balls too. hmmmm... we'll see. lol. i am enjoying this entirely too much i really am going to enjoy topping him. it's that i know he is such a painslut. it's so freeing. i know i can't do anything with him, but i know i can do a fuck of a lot. and he's such a whiner. so he'll protest, and i'll whisper in his ear that i want him to take more, and he will... there is something so sexy about that. it really kind of gets me hot that kind of devotion. even if it's just for a scene.
Queen Bull
First experience with kink: auto-erotic-asphyxiation or just plain asphyxiation. w/e you wanna call it. and being a sub.Im soo used to being the dominant one in all my relationships, thats jsut my personality, the first person that held me down and did what they wanted with me, including asphyxiation, i am eternally en-debted to, because its now my favorite kink ever. of course, i still prefer being dominant, but w/e.

and then the first kink i introduced to someone was pain. go figure. this guy had never done anything but gotten normal run of the mill makeouts and the occasional hand job. i sent that boy through the ringer, and i think tha twas one of the biggest loads he ever blew. lol.

so yep. not especially kinky, but it depends on who you ask i suppose, like GT said.
I think my first experience with kink (very vanilla kink) was when I was 15. I did things with my boyfriend like let him cum on my tits and I would ask him to pull my hair.

I don't think I've ever introduced anyone to kink. I've somehow always been with a guy who is already a bit kinky. Now I kind of wish I could introduce a guy to it but at the same time I would be nervous about it. I want to be with someone who can flog me and not get freaked out about it.
bumped again
I'm kind of slow on the uptake with some of these threads, so I'm just catching up with this one. I was intrigued by GT's questions, so I thought I'd give it a try. This will probably bore some of you to tears, as I'm not really into fetishizing violence, pain and degradation in a sexual way, particularly in the extreme. It's never really worked for me. I don't mind a little spanking (giving & receiving), and the occasional implement used for physical contact, but sparingly. In general, I'm all about the pleasure.

* what is the kink that sends you over the moon?
> Role play, generally pretty standard stuff, particularly with elaborate, highly sexualized costumes. For example, 'macho' cop frisking flirty party girl in very short skirt & revealing top, with some billy club action underneath the skirt (going up the skirt, teasing along my butt and upper thighs). It's all about the theater of it, the play; letting a different part of your personality surface, or becoming someone else for a while.

> Sex in public places, such as a secluded beach or dark corner of a busy club. The idea of possibly being caught really turns me on.

> Reading erotica to me in bed. I like to hear what it does to him as he reads it, and just hearing his voice as he's reading the words is a big turn on.

> Sex in a big, comfy chair, with him in the chair and me straddling his lap.

> Being folded over flat on the bed, table, whatever, with my legs on the ground and my butt up high, taken from behind.

* what kink would you love to try? Caning sounds pretty interesting. That might be a tolerable physical pain.

* is there a kink that surprised you? Probably the role playing. I never thought I'd get into it so much.

* what kink scared you, but now you love it? Any kind of violent physical contact, open hand or with an implement. I never liked the idea of being hit with anything until I had a couple of partners who were into spanking. Some of them took it a bit further than I wanted them to go, but in general, I tend to enjoy a few good smacks on the ass, as long as they can take it in return.

* what kink is absolutely lost on you? Golden showers, scat, anything involving bodily waste.
well last night did I ever sustain some lovely bruising. He was fucking me from behind and whilst doing so was biting my back. Oh the bruising is amazing, and wonderfully painful today.

I also had some choking and wrapping things around my neck.

Then I got aftercare, it was really sweet.
My first real brush with kink was a hardcore foot fetishist when I was nineteen. I didn't even really know what it was at the time. I'd done him a solid & ran into him downtown a few days later. He thanked me profusely & asked how he could repay me. I was in retail, standing eight hours a day. I told him I wanted a twelve pack of good beer, dinner, & a foot massage. The way his face lit up when I said "foot massage"! He had it all ready to go; fragrant foot bath, exfoliant, lotions, nail polish. I went with it. It's funny, he kissed my feet many times before he ever kissed my mouth.
speaking of foot fetishes, I was walking downtown here, and this complete stranger, walking in the opposite direction, leans in as I was walking by and says "hey, nice feet". I was rather taken aback.
Me again, so I forgot to tells you all that on Saturday night with PR boy, we was restraining me. First we were jsut joking around and wrestling and whatnot, as he was trying to see how my training for the fuzz is going.

Would you believe I have restrints I've not yet used? Hmmph. But he's got 50 lbs on me, at least. So, there's nothing I can do, except attempt to fight back.
AP, I wish I could find a guy who would want to worship my feet like that! Wash them, massage them, etc. That would be so awesome.
*super excited* i just got an email from a friend of a friend, he wants to sub to me. it also looks he is interested in psych play, and forced worship. sounds like he would be the perfect training wheels for something i've been thinking about: possibly going pro-domme in the next year or so. it's time i put my stunt sub to work. caning, paddling primers from him are in order. oh, and

i swear, in the next 2 weeks i am going to use these shoes for CBT.
if it kills them, i am going to step on someone's balls.

i think i need to make a list of things to study before i do it. i'm kind of excited. i knew a pro-domme who made quite a living doing it, she got a trip to europe on one of her sub's dime. very, very nice.

ETA:i'm emailing a guy who has a 15002 ft. equipped play space within 6 blox of my place. this is just lovely!
Hella cute SHOES!

CBT scares the hell out of me. An old lover was into it, but it scared me. We fooled around, but I knew I didn't go as far as he'd have liked. Not having nuts, I held back, even though I knew he wanted more. It saddened me that I couldn't satisfy him the way he wanted, but I was only willing to hurt him to an extent. I'm not experienced enough to to do the serious type of play he wanted.

But wearing those shoes, GT, would have made it hella HOT!
Those are GREAT shoes!

I'd also be scared of CBT because I have never done it before, but I'm sure with time and a patient sub, it could be done.
well imagine how i feel. i've got a set of huevos, and they are quite delicate, honestly i don't even liked them licked. but, my curious nature has got the better of me. i am curious to see what the draw is there, i want to know how much they can take, plus they are hanging fruit.....*sigh* for causing pain. i've flogged them, and used crude sounds on them, slapped them etc. part of me is just curious about how pain is processed. i never cared much for pain, but of late i'm starting to like it. i don't want too much of it. i like that my body is attuned to light sensation, and that if parts of my body are even breathed on, i get the shivers.
cool shoes...

thirtiesgirl, count me in on the reading erotica to each other... I end up telling him what to read and then going down on him when he's really getting into it.

ok, first experience with kink: my first boyfriend, who used to play-tussle with me for who got to be on top, hold my hands down, make me not move while he went down on me (or he'd stop)... that sort of thing, just gentle play.
It's weird, me and mr. man met through erotica, but we've never actually used it in the course of, ah, action. Good ideas in here.

I heard this outside of a hotel room door:

"come on , honey... come here, now... no... not like that... on your fuckin knees... yeah... like that."

Sexy. Oui ou non?
oh i love reading and making up erotica. it's actually how i came out to kitty. we had been telling each other erotic stories every couple of nights, and one day the story i told was the story of my life, and at the end she asked, was that story about you? i said yes. she said, it was beautiful, there's a lot to digest...."

and she did.

i was reading a thread on fet life, it was about the kink character of the cities on the west coast. and someone wrote this post:
One of the nicknames for the Pacific Northwest is "The Bloody West Coast" which has to do with our love of blood sports and that it crosses over into the gay and straight communities (in many parts of the country bloodsports are practiced mainly by the dykes).

I know from my travels that some of the way we play here in Seattle (the silly, conversation style of play...joking, etc while scening) is not well received elsewhere.
lol this lady should know. she's pretty much the hub of much of the kink scene in the city. there must be something in the water, because blood sports are becoming more interesting to me as i go... someone else said this:
.....I have heard alot of people call seattle the bucket of blood......I call it the blood bowl...but hey, thats pretty good, when You are someone who sells needles, and scalpels and all sorts of sharp pointy stuff......and boy do I sell allot in seattle
one thing i did like was a guy's whining about seattle's "emphasis on everyone except het male doms." silly me. i call that a virtue. after all het male doms have the whole rest of the world. they can be in the minority, fine by me smile.gif

there was also this:
I have been too the enclave in Denver though and known quite a few people from that area and it seems to be the complete opposite of Seattle as well as the entire west coast; Rigid, protocall based and very very Hetero.
i just find the idea of cities having a bdsm energy so interesting....
my first real experience with being topped... i don't call a lot of things kink, and this isn't really, but it was the first thing that ever really let me know how much i liked being a sub.

i was with a guy that i knew pretty well, we'd gone the vanilla route a few times, and he said he wanted to give me a massage. i'm lying on the bed, naked, on my stomach and he's kneeling next to me. he ran his hands, not exactly over me, but over my aura, i guess. so close that i could feel the warmth of his hands, but not quite the touch of them. i started to move and he commanded me to hold perfectly still because if i didn't, he'd stop. i started to make a noise and i was commanded to silence. so i lay there, resisting the urge to squirm and moan while he never quite touched my entire back and legs, even my feet. then he lifted me, turned me over and went over my entire front. he went down on me, but didn't touch me, just breathed on every part of me. it was the single most erotic thing i had ever had happen to me, up to that point. we didn't actually have sex that night, but i felt so very satisfied...
uh....*panty puddle* that is soooo hot, d. i love being told commanded what to do. a friend calls it 'mental bondage.' it just shuts off that part of my brain, which i love cos at any one time my brainsis is working on lord knows what, but when daddy tells me "open" meaning open my mouth" i have to focus, and it's so blissful not thinking about the correct way to arrange all of my socks in the most efficent method for ease and speed for retreival, i just go gooey. add to that that i prefer light touches to hard. oh my damona, your story..... yum!
oh that reminds me of the time my top was spanking me and made me thank him after every spank.

and then there was the time that he was fucking me doggie and had a blet around my neck and he ordered me to tell him what a slut I was.


I would want to purchase advertisement on directly in the division this as this to make??? I cannot anywhere find.

Hey, maybe this can replace The Fabulous Stains ad that everyone's complaining about! How much worse could it be? tongue.gif
CH confused.

It makes perfect sense as to how this is related to BDSM.
Personally, I find dealing with spam to be a punishment, so yeah, I can see why this is the perfect place to post it. wink.gif

Polly, I heart you and your comments. smile.gif
makes perfect sense! for my next message, I'm doing it in smoke signals!
Jeepers! This sounds like a job for SuperBusty! *She's* a mindreader! I know she'll be here soon to crack the code! right after she puts on her tights and irons her costume wink.gif
hey empiderra, read this.

you're a fucking loser and no one is going to check out your site!
*sprinkles sawdust over the spam and steps around*

Hey, I was wondering, does anyone here have any experience/been to/heard things about ShibariCon? It's in Chicago in May and I'm kinda sorta toying with the idea of going. I like to visit Chicago as much as possible anyway, and ShibariCon seems worth a visit....anyone?
six, hhmm, me thinks this event coincides with IML (International Male Leather) weekend in Chicago which is usually around memorial weekend? Being the hagstress supreme, i know when the key gay events are in this town. if you do go, you might want to register early. we get alot of leather peeps in that weekend.
edit. sorry.
here's us like totally not checking it out, man.
Zoya, I would say just to take it slow. It's actually really great that you've learned all about the tying up and stuff. But if you do everything right off the bat then there's nothing to build up to. Personally, I find one of the best things about bdsm is the torture of waiting for the top to do what I want. Don't give him exactly what he wants right away. Make him work for it.

As for being tied up, the last guy who tied me up would tie me to his posts but leave a few inches for my legs to move around. That way I was restrained but could still move a tiny bit. I hope that helps.
zoya- that sounds awesome. i was going to make the same suggestion as candycane, btw.
thanks for the advice guys, of keeping it simple. by nature, I just want to give - and I can be pretty unrestrained.. so it's kind of a challenge to hold back, and something I have to learn. How do I make him work for it, and what do I make him work for? That's where I don't exactly get it - I mean I just wanna tie him up and do all manner of things to him all at once - but I do see how, like candycane said, then there's nothing to work for, no surprises. So I guess I'm just kinda asking for some direction in how/what to do. I've never been in this position before, so I'm learning here.... smile.gif
well that was helpful.. I'll keep that in mind.
Queen Bull
le boy said i could use a strap-on on him. ... *excited* hooray for adventurous partners.

congrats on getting into more kink zoya.. sounds like hella fun. biggrin.gif
Wow. I just got a hell of a spanking. I was begging for it...the stinging felt like heaven.

My butt is burning now...hehe
hee hee! tree that is awesome.

*reads zoya's post and seethes with jealousy*

i don't know if i'd do it on his scrotum. but do you know what a zipper is zoya?
no... what is a zipper? (I can only guess...) I'd like to know how! smile.gif
I would also like to know what a zipper is. I'm not into CBT at all (as I'm a sub), but curiosity has gotten the best of me. Damn. I used to have a copy of the Encyclopedia of Bizare Sexual Acts but traded it at a used book store as it was evil. (Believe me, there were things I could have lived a longer, happier life not knowing). I have been reading back a bit on this thread and saw that people were talking about their first experiences with kink. Mine was when I was 15. I had this boyfriend who was really into biting and pulling hair. He also liked to tie me up with rope. At the time, I knew it was different than what other people were doing, so I never told anyone. I do know that I never felt weird about doing it though. I remember one time, that he bit my arm so hard that I had a huge bruise on my arm and my mom happened to notice it and I told her that I walked into a door. But the thing is, I never considered myself a submissive or a masochist at all. I thought those people were total freaks and had the image of people much older than I was wearing cheezy leather get-ups in mind when anyone would mention bondage or whatever. I had other boyfriends after that that I would ask to bite me or pull my hair and stuff and they would get weirded out. It wasn't until I was 20 that I finally figured out what was going on and met a guy who was a dominant. He was open about from the beginning which kind of freaked me out. We started things out at my comfort level, which was rough sex, which then led to restraints, collars, clamps, leashes, gags, etc. I married him a couple years later as he was not only fabulous in the sack, but a totally amazing person who just happens to hurt me in delicious ways.
sorry i meant to post this, but i haven't wanted to type much since i took a spill on my skateboard and i've got a bad case of tendonitis.

but a zipper is a line of clothespins on a string. after they are placed, they are removed quickly by pulling up the string, acting much like a zipper.

zoya if you really want to fuck with your boy, go to michael's or some other hobby shop. buy some mini clothes pins-- the kind that you'd use for a doll house. they look innocuous, but they are some of the meanest pinchers out there. as a general rule, the smaller they are, the more they hurt!

ok, i can't type anymore. it hurts. i'll ttyl!
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