Jan 23 2007, 06:19 PM
Bunny I agree! I think there used to be a thread like that!
As for the What's in a name thread, F&F or....
Jan 23 2007, 07:01 PM
I did do a search for the old what's in a name thread and couldn't find it, so if you want to start one in F&F I think that would be cool.
And I'm seconding bunny's What Do You Call Your Stuffy-Stuff thread, because that would be hilarious even if it ended up being short lived. Maybe LTAS?
Jan 23 2007, 07:22 PM
I started the thread "What's in a Name" in F&F.
Jan 24 2007, 04:10 AM
probably LTAS and it would be fun for a while. Is "What do you call your Va-jay-jay?" okay (it's a Grey's Anatomy reference, that I love)?
Jan 24 2007, 11:10 AM
Bunny I think it's a fab title. A long time ago, when I was new, I always thought a vagina monologues-esque thread would be a good idea.
Jan 24 2007, 03:51 PM
That's a great name bunny! Do it!
Jan 24 2007, 04:06 PM
I agree bunny, start one sounds like a cute thread.
Jan 24 2007, 04:28 PM
Started it in LTAS .
Jan 26 2007, 06:21 PM
I was one of those suckers who couldn't find this flavor anywhere near me a few months ago, so this comes as good news because now I'll be able to see what all the hubbub was about, bubs.
I'm on Haagen-Dazs's mailing list. This is from a letter I got in ye olde mailbox today, complete with a couple of coupons:
We wanted you to be the first to hear that Sticky Toffee Pudding has earned its place in the freezer case and will debut as a full-time flavor this spring along with your other havorite Haagen-Daza flavors.
Jan 28 2007, 09:29 AM
Hey! What happened to the Vintage Busties thread? Used to be in Friends and Families, right? It seems there are less topics/room? in the new lounge...???
Jan 29 2007, 09:09 AM
Undine, I'm wondering the same thing re: less topics.
I was looking for the yeast infection thread in Our Bodies Our Hells and couldn't find it. I remember it being a pretty popular thread...
Jan 29 2007, 10:35 AM
I am thinking, they deleted if they aren't used for a period of time? But there is a way to resursect them, I am not sure how to do it. Maybe one of the more technologically advanced Busties can tell you ladies how?
Jan 29 2007, 11:16 AM
They aren't deleted, just hidden. Go into the main forum the thread was in (Media Whores. Ab-Fad, OTOH, etc.) and at the bottom there's a search field. Put in one of the words from the thread title and it should pull it up for you. I think there's a way you can also get it to show you all the threads that still exist within the forum.
Jan 29 2007, 11:17 AM
Any thread that's been used since last April is there. Click on any forum, then scroll down to the bottom of the page. On the right hand side there are several drop down boxes. They default to showing you only threads that have been active in the past 30 days, but you can change this to Show All. Then you will see ALL the threads for that forum.
eta: x-posted with Polly!
Jan 30 2007, 09:00 AM
We need a theme song thread. As in what is your theme song for a specific mood.
Jan 31 2007, 03:17 PM
whaddya'll think about a thread discussing hillary's run for presidency? since it being the first woman in real contention for the job.
Jan 31 2007, 03:23 PM
I bumped the Voting thread in ATWT for that discussion!
Feb 4 2007, 04:36 AM
wow, my first thread request. hope someone besides me's into the idea. so i finally joined the rest of the jr. high set and got an mp3 player. i was eyeballing the ipod cause, hello, it's ipod, and i'm totally susceptible to media over saturation. but i ended up going with the creative labs zen player (30G) cause it plays more of the video file types that i have, and i love this little thing. but i was browsing for podcasts to load up on it, and i'm totally lost. i found a couple of random things i liked through google, but with space and time at a premium, too large a percentage of what i found was crap that was a waste to download and sync. since my fellow busties have rarely steered me wrong when it comes to media recs, i was wondering if we could have a podcast thread, sort of along the lines of the 'favorite youtube' thread, where people can post recommendations for content and podcast directories that don't suck ass (like creative lab's zencast site). if anyone else is interested, i've got the perfect title all picked out and ready to post in media whores. plus, you'll make me squee like a 12-year-old at a hanson concert over the prospect of my first bust thread.
eta: hey, i hit hardcore bustie status! that there's squee-worthy in and of itself.
eata: but i still want my podcast thread, if the rest of you are amenable.
Feb 4 2007, 10:12 AM
grrrlyouwant I would totally be into a podcast/iPod thread. I have an ipod, and I love downloading stuff!
Feb 4 2007, 11:01 AM
Feb 4 2007, 01:03 PM
yay! i should probably wait for a second, but i posted 'invasion of the pod people' in media whores anyway.
hi ladies. i haven't been on this forum in ages (not since before the redesign, looks nice!), and i'm just wondering what happened to the "yes, we do get tans!" thread for women of colour. i tried doing a search for it, and nothing came up.
Feb 5 2007, 12:55 AM
Welcome back! It died. There is a similar thread in Friends & Family called There's More Than One Way To Be A Bustie Of Color.
thanks again, aural.
it's too bad about the old thread, but i'm glad to hear there's a replacement.
Feb 5 2007, 09:54 AM
So ... I hate to say this, but I'm thinking that we may need a thread dedicating to nothing but hasseling out arguments. Too often, disagreements within threads turn ugly & totally derail a thread - often even carrying over into other, unrelated threads. The people involved in the argument are often told to take it elsewhere, but where? What about when they cannot or refuse to take the discussion to PM? What about when the argument involves so many individuals that they choose to keep the fighting public?
The Busting Trolls thread isn't the right place because it implies that at least one person in the argument is a troll, whereas most of these fights happen between established members of the community. The Flamewar thread isn't the right place because that's for joke fighting, not the real thing. So I propose that we have a thread specifically for these arguments. Because quite frankly, I would like to know how to avoid these fights & I know I'm not the only one. People certainly have a right to fight if they feel so inclined, but out of respect for the rest of the community, these thread-derailing fights could be moved to the fight thread. There needs to be another option. What does everyone think?
Feb 5 2007, 10:11 AM
Rose, you're right; we need another thread (I appreciate that the mutual admiration thread is not the best place to share our mutual abhorrence) to talk through things. However, in this particular instance I'm not sure a thread to argue would do any good whatsoever.
In the past, people have always said to move it to another thread and nowhere has been suitable so we need somewhere that is. My concern though is that some are going to be labelled as fighters as they are always involved. I can understand why some would prefer not to become involved as BUST is a safe haven, but it's defeating the purpose of this particular argument: some of us are trying to bust bullying, why should we be hidden away? I'm sorry if trying to protect those BUSTies I care about is something that others don't want to read and I should STFU about, it saddens me if that's the case. The lounge should not be somewhere where we go about with blinkers on and play nicey nicey all the time - how many people and how many times does that have to be said?
Feb 5 2007, 10:14 AM
The only problem with that Rose, is that the people who need to take things to another thread, don't feel they are doing anything and probably would not go. If they were that amiable, they would just keep their mouths shut in the first place and not post the sort of inflamatory stuff that has been floating around here lately. I think some people just need to hear themselves talk..and keeping a "debate/fight" going gives them excuse after excuse to keep posting.
Eta:After rereading...I wanted to clarify, I am not speaking of the kvetchies.
Feb 5 2007, 10:18 AM
thanks for editing that pixie, I'm starting to get a persecution complex here!
what about here? it's not used or checked that much and it is the community forum so why not be used for community issues?
Feb 5 2007, 10:30 AM
What I wish we had...since we don't have active mods on here...other message boards have a reputation system...I've seen where if someone gets enough negative reputation from enough unique users, they lose the ability to post for a certain length of time. It just really sucks that people can pretty much say whatever they want on here about anyone without fear of any kind of retribution. Some people seem to thrive on their own unpopularity!
Feb 5 2007, 10:37 AM
once upon a time, things were hashed out here, in CF.
but, you know, now i feel like shit, that i'm one of the mean girls contributing to the need of "FIGHT THREAD". so i'm back to biting my tongue. or taking a hiatus. fuggit. i don't need this aggravation.
Feb 5 2007, 10:42 AM
oh fuck it. why should yuefie, mandolyn and I feel the need to take a hiatus? we're in the bloody right and there are many of you who agree with us by PM.
nobody puts bunny in the corner, the argument should carry on here or you can all keep your blinkers on and lose some of the loveliest of BUSTies and let the bully win, at this moment, I could care less.
Feb 5 2007, 10:54 AM
There is a big difference betwen "playing nicey nicey" and acting in a mature, respectful manner. I tend to think my behavior falls in the latter category. I am not saying that people should just shut up and try to get along all the time. It's perfectly natural for people to fight sometimes. And like you, I think it'd be good to try to steer the uglier arguments into one place whenever possible. Yes, there will be some people who may resist it, but I think it's worth a try.
This is not about trying to hide away the arguments. Rather, it's about respecting the majority of the community who chose not to engage in these arguments. And so what if certain people spend more time in the argument thread than others? Don't we all create our own reputation, no matter where we post?
Pixie, I think your suggestion is a fine one, but I'm afraid that the Lounge Lady is in no hurry to adopt any of the suggestions we've thrown her way. I'm sure there may be a perfectly legitimate reason for this, but whatever that reason may be, I feel that your wishes are more likely to be granted by throwing coins in a fountain.
Feb 5 2007, 10:59 AM
well perhaps I should take my immature, disrespectful self somewhere they don't tolerate bullies.
Feb 5 2007, 11:19 AM
Now now, Bunny, I'm not saying that we should tolerate bullies. I'm merely noting that, in the past, when discussions have turned heated, part of the argument has been about whether the argument should continue in its original thread or be moved to PM. Often people request that the argument be moved elsewhere, but where? Some suggest The Community Forum, but I've noticed that a lot of people are resistant to that. So I'm merely suggesting an alternative thread. We have specific threads designed to discuss all sorts of individual topics. Why not this? I'm not trying to insult anyone. I just suggesting an idea that would respect the community & the majority of members who chose not to engage in the more heated, personal in-fighting.
ETA: On the subject of tolerating bullies, we must remember that there is no way to kick anyone off of this site. Once a member, always a member. But at least we have the Ignore feature. It's one way of taking bullies off of one's personal radar, at least!
Feb 5 2007, 11:50 AM
I know there are some BUSTIES who have hedge hog love.
If anyone is in the Southern Ohio, Norhtern KY area, I found one for adoption on Craigs List.http://cincinnati.craigslist.org/pet/273685696.html
i have to agree with roseviolet, the addition of the ignore feature is fantastic! i completely understand wanting to really tell someone off when they are completely out of line, but long heated exchanges tend to become disruptive. any message boards that i'm on with active moderators will always just nip those arguments in the bud, anyway. either by closing the thread or posting warnings for the individuals to stick to the topic and stop arguing.
that said, since that isn't an option i can understand the merit in having an argument thread. not especially positive or feel good, but at least it will be contained and those who wish to be involved can be.
anyway, just my (old poster who's been gone for a long time) 2 cents..
Feb 5 2007, 12:13 PM
i am totally with rv here.
i don't think i'm in the minority when i say that i've avoided stepping in to arguements in the past out of respect for the thread; i didn't want to continue the various derailments. i'm not talking about debates... debates in threads are good. they should be there. but when things get personal or veer too far off from the actual thread topic, a lot of long-timers just wind up avoiding the thread altogether, not because we all want to play nicey-nicey, but we just feel like it's pointless and it's disrespectful to the folks in the thread that are actually trying to have a conversation.
i've often wondered why we had a flamewar thread to fuck around with fake arguments, but not a real thread dedicated to actual arguing. sure the biggest offenders might not actually take advantage of the thread, but it would cut down on the side arguements of "does this arguement belong here? shouldn't it go to PM? is there a better place for this? blah blah blah". it'll be easy - just take it to the arguement thread and that's that.
and yeah, there will be a few busties constantly in the thread, but like rv said, who cares? that's the choice they can make.
i don't think we should necessarily spend a lot of time talking about why arguements and flare ups are happening so much. it's just the way that it is. we shouldn't all walk around with blinders, bunny is right. and it sucks when you see one of your friends coming under fire from one or another member. it makes you want to come to their aid, and so what on that too! that's what you would do irl so why not do it here?
argh, i'm rambling, but i love so many of the ladies here and i would hate for you to go away. HAAATE it; even if i'm not in your regular "circles", i'm reading your posts and i would miss them.
basically, i'm saying if RV needs a second to start a thread, i'm stepping up to give it to her.
Feb 5 2007, 12:29 PM
i think that having a separate thread for arguments is a good idea.
i'm not sure at all that we can make sure that the people who want to argue or flame others will stick to that thread, and only that thread. those of us who want to avoid the conflict will go and post there. others who may not care about netiquette or the bust community may not.
i'm generally in the ignore category, until it becomes a little too personal and the epithets being thrown around (about me) are seriously out of line. what i do then is respond. once. period. and then i try to go back to posting about whatever is on topic.
there is certainly no harm in trying.
Feb 5 2007, 12:39 PM
Any thread title ideas? I tend to be pretty crap about that sort of thing. My only idea is "Taking It Outside: The Argument Thread".
Feb 5 2007, 12:42 PM
ready to rumble?
bustie smack down?
care to step to the outside thread and say that?
Feb 5 2007, 12:46 PM
rv, i like that title.
it would be very appropriate...
Feb 5 2007, 12:56 PM
QUOTE(tesao @ Feb 5 2007, 06:59 PM)
ready to rumble?
bustie smack down?
care to step to the outside thread and say that?
DON'T MAKE ME TAKE MY EARRINGS OFF!
Or: THE OCTAGON!
Feb 5 2007, 01:00 PM
Sorry to continue the ugliness but being one of the principal participants in the initial ugliness, I feel I should address some of what has been said. First off I agree that somewhere else is better suited for these sorts of blow outs. If it's a unanimous decision that those types of heated discussions are moved here to CF, then I am all for it. An argument thread? Even better. Just please don't tell me I can't defend myself or others without incurring the wrath of all the people who just want to just keep the peace and play nice at all costs. I myself have been taken to task for that sort of reasoning. There can not and will not always be peace. But taking it somewhere more appropriate, why certainly. I understand why there is bristling at the posts being in the MAS thread. But honestly, where should it have been taken? There was no clear cut choice. She attacked me and my choice of caregiving, publicly, in the MAS thread, as if it is a bad thing. So because I am a woman who has made the decision to care for ailing family members, that makes me a miserable person? How is that not blatant misogyny? What right does she have, does she know me? No, she just goes off half cocked. Was I supposed to just let it go? Riiight. And she only pounced on this aspect of who I am after I stood up for other BUSTies on the receiving end of her crap. Just a few weeks ago she sent me a private message telling me how wonderful she thinks I am for what I do. But my, how we change our tune when someone calls us out on our BS. So what it boils down to is she is a huge bully and someone needs to stand up to her. I know we can't make her go away, but if more people are aware of her bullying tactics and see how she plays dirty by attacking anything she perceives as a weakness or a fault, they will see that SHE is the problem. It needed to be addressed publicly, just as she's dished it out to others publicly. It's only fair that she got it right back, PUBLICLY. People can watch her reactions and make their own judgments. And judging by the volume of PM's I've received, many have. She has apparently stepped on a lot of toes around here. Most just do not want to jump in to the fray, which I greatly respect. There seems to be a lot of people who were unaware that wombat and whammy_bar are one in the same. Many remember her freak outs under the latter user name. I am not and was not trying to turn people against her, just present the facts so that when she starts her bullying with other BUSTies, as she has proven time and time again she will do, people can make informed decisions on how to deal with her. Generally when it concerns a bully something inside me snaps. It's why I stepped in to a few messes around this board that have concerned bullies. I've also tried to play peacemaker and pissed off some beloved BUSTies by doing so. There is no win-win in these situations, but obviously minimizing the fall out from contaminating other threads is a very wise decision. And for the record, I don't think it's right that anyone who stands up for others around here should be vilified and called a mean girl. Mandi is far from a mean girl. If I am labeled that, then so be it. Because after being called out for trying to keep the peace and called out for arguing, I am at a loss. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Feb 5 2007, 01:09 PM
I didn't know Wombat ad Whammy Bar were the same person. That makes sense.
I also have major issues with another poster, but that could all just be the fact that I am blind to the patriarchy and need enlightenment.
Feb 5 2007, 01:42 PM
Well, I tried starting the new thread in As The World Turns, Friends and Family, and Ladies Who Lounge, but I keep getting the following message:
The error returned was:
This forum is read only, no new posts or replies can be made.
Anybody have any ideas?
Yuefie, I completely understand why you replied where you did. I know that a lot of good-hearted Busties get dragged into these arguments sometimes. And time and time again, I've seen those same Busties come back and apologize for aiding in the derailment of the thread. With the new thread, there would be no need for that sort of apology. When provoked, one could just post that they've chosen to "take it outside" and post the reply in the other thread out of respect for the rest of the community.
Feb 5 2007, 01:54 PM
Rosie babe, I think that is a simply mahvelous idea!
what's sad to me is how some board members are treating this as a popularity contest when it is so clearly about one board member consistently picking apart posts by other BUSTies, dragging them in to other threads, placing their own twisted spin on them and basically being an all around bully. I don't care who's popular and who's not. Hell, I have never been a popular girl and have always related to the freaks. This is about her need for superiority and her continued attacks on other BUSTies. This latest round is not the first, second or even third. It is an ongoing problem and if others actually took the time to read through the archives before jumping to conclusions, they would know what's what. I do realize that is a tall order and most do not have that time. But unless you have the facts, it's probably best to avoid making grand pronouncements about the participants and their motivations.
Feb 5 2007, 02:00 PM
you're right yuefie.
i almost suggested: "double-whammy" for the new thread for that very reason. i'm tired of her crap and i've voiced so in the okay thread when she was attacking members over there. i've seen the bullshit (or some of it) that she's stirred up in other threads and it's really maddening. how can one person be so fucking clueless? because you're right: it's happened several times over the course of the last couple years since she's been here. it's more than rubbing people the wrong way: it's been downright bullying and open attacks.
Feb 5 2007, 02:03 PM
FJ, but didn't you know that its all our fault for being the popular girls?
Oh, and if we're going to redirect derailments, could that apply to all snarky posts please? I shouldn't be the only one kicked out of the MA thread.
Feb 5 2007, 02:10 PM
doesn't anyone else think that this is a case of acting out, where any attention is better than no attention? i am sure that whoever is sitting back reading all of this brou-ha-ha is laughing and gloating that everyone has stopped posting about other things and are devoting all of this energy to THEM?
that is really odd about the error message, rose like a violet!!!
Feb 5 2007, 02:11 PM
Damn, I've been reading this stuff, not knowing about the crap that was going on in the Mutual Admiration thread, only knowing about what had happened in okayers and the support thread, the porn thread, etc.. This is some BS.
Anyone ever read "The Robber Bride" by Margaret Atwood? She reminds me of Zenia. Lures you into being her friend, makes up these stories to make you feel sorry for her, plays upon your weaknesses and strikes.
She's just so toxic. I haven't had any run-ins, other than when she went off in the book thread about the Sedaris's, but
to all of you have have been attacked and hopefully this thread will clear stuff up and prevent things from getting this bad in the future (cod forbid we have to deal with something like this again!)
I understand people not wanting to go back and read the archives, but then don't make assumptions that this is a popularity thing. This is about one deranged individual saying horrible things about people here, not just troll-style that you can brush off, but just flat-out mean, callous things, assumptions about people's lives; sensitive areas of people's lives that no one should judge.
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