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Full Version: Crimes of Fashion part Deux...this time, it's personal.
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Hehe, no maimy... biggrin.gif I meant myself! I hoped, noone would take my opinionated rants personal...

I posted this in Corn Cobs already, but I thought it might be interesting to talk about here.

I've watched Ugly Betty three times now, and I can't help but wonder... come a girl who's supposed to be so bloody smart can't figure out how to disappear into a little grey or black suit and scrape her hair into a bun? I mean, we get it, she doesn't follow fashion, doesn't care about her appearance. Beauty comes from inside, yada yada yada. But what about her job, does she get that? What shlub in the universe, who claims to be a careerist, travels into Manhattan every day to work in a corporate setting and doesn't figure out how to comb her raggedy hair and wear a black suit, at the very least???

It's pissing me off. I live in the middle of Nowhere, British Columbia, and even I know that. Hell, I acquired my first grey blazer while still in high school!

Is there not one ally in Betty's TV universe who's willing to tell her?

Not to mention that America Ferrera is cute as hell, and I don't know why they are trying to pass her off as "ugly."
They're all in love with that stupid story... it's a multinational conspiracy, too! dry.gif

Colombian Betty:(the original)
IPB Image
Mexican Betty:
IPB Image
Russian Betty:
IPB Image
Dutch Betty:
IPB Image
German Betty:
IPB Image

I think that uglifying is the new treknobabble, anything to avoid a real plot. laugh.gif
Well, that was the whole point of the original telenovela, as I understand it: a girl who cares about just about everything but her appearance is lovable and popular.
Well, I haven't seen the original telenovela, just parts of the euro-rip-off, which was full of cheesy cliche and lacking a credible story.. mellow.gif I know, I know, that's probably the point of a telenovela.

Eta: Well the Idea for the story is really charming, but they're exploiting it to the max, plus: the "uglifying" is so over-the-top, and just not very credible. I think that's what doodlebugs point was, too..
This was a guy in a parking lot today:

Ratty used-to-be-white-a-long-time-ago t-shirt under a boxy blue jean jacket, pajama pants and SQUARE TOED BOOTS WITH BUCKLES!!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

I swar.
Quiet, that is a stunner, that.

Would someone pass the eyeball bleach please?
And now, the all new adventures of CRAPTASTIC MAN!

Man, late 30's, early 40's, skinny, greasy tan. Shoulder length hair, 'stache and flavour saver combo loved by A & R guys everywhere. Found on men who have actually uttered the words "Well, she's my girlfriend, but we're not into putting what we have into words" (quote, unquote).

Designer jeans with factory worn cuffs, over factory worn brown leather boots, by factory worn brown leather guy. Some kind of asshole belt. LIME GREEN SILK SHIRT, long-sleeved--with sleeves rolled up into donut cuffs, of course. Because this guy, he's not into looking too uptight, you dig?

Which must be why he had one, but not both, sides of his shirt tucked into his jeans. If you live in L.A. or have watched a lot of Blind Date, I know you've seen this look. It's the Ryan Seacrest 2.0. It's the I'm-your-Dad's-age-when-you-graduated-high-school-but-I'm-not-like-him,-I'm-HIP-dammit,-see-me-smoking-cloves-and-texting-my-girlfriend/broker/drug dealer/agent-every FIVE SECONDS. It's a look I like to call....................Asshat.

As if this wasn't bad enough, he spent an HOUR talking to some girl I'm pretty sure he'd only met once before about his clingy girlfriend, and how he really loved her, but if he didn't call her back right away she'd text him a thousand times, and she was always pulling needless drama scenes, but he thought they really had something special together if they could just get past the trust thing, and how he was sometimes a little tired of her possessiveness, but he thought ultimately that they were good for one another, and what did YOU think? The longer he talked to this poor chick (with her horrible, boring shoes) the closer he moved to her. I'm pretty sure that after we left he actually went and sat in her lap. Perhaps he talked some more about how sensitive he was and how his girlfriend's possessiveness made him want to cheat sometimes, and perhaps they went and had ugly, sad, greasy, sex in her Volvo.

If she didn't see it coming from a mile away, she has only herself to blame.

Anyhow, a very entertaining afternoon was had by all, as soon as we were in the car and had closed the doors, and could laugh and laugh and point and laugh some more.
OhdearMAUD. Oh dear, precious, precious, precious, aching MAUD.

Busty, I adore you. I wanna be your bitch.
A confession. I owned a pair of peach acid washed pegged pants, but in all fairness it was 1986.

now that that is done, why oh why do I have to see your cock a flopping down the street towards me if you go on and free ball it in a pair of loose linen pants?
And why was this topped off with those pointy alligator shoes with the side buckle, (no not creepers, just crappy and creepy), and a white tee shirt with huge yellow armpit stains that was otherwise more grey than white?

oh my eyes!!!!!

I'm just posting, because walkingbitches' and my avatars should get married!

*passes ashtray along with some o that eyeball bleach!*

"yellow armpit stains..."

"greasy sex..."

BWAHAHAHHAHA, Bustygirl, "asshole belt"... laugh.gif
Black gouchos.

With gold high heeled shoes.

Embroidered camoflauge jacket.

Sad really.
Oh, my...Gobs...

Y'all have got me laughin' so hard!

Busty, Maimy, Walking, Pherber---I'll come clean y'all's houses, if you'll let me hang out with you.

Here's my ad: "Out of touch Southern girl will clean houses for laughs in Bust lounge..."

Something like that.

My creepy neighbors across the street: (You know--Y'all have 'em.) They're the ones who *never* open their blinds.

Anyway, speaking of bleach. She totally came out of the car the other day to go in the house. She was wearing:

Those Mary Jane style shoes, brown or black
Tube top under a mid-length shirt
Tapered pants with RUFFLES ohmy.gif huh.gif

I swar.
Please tell me there is nobody on earth willing to pay $45+ for a cheap old plastic banana clip ... Please?
Lolz, Maimy, you can still buy those at Target...
laugh.gif quietmadness, I'm way too messy, to deserve that offer..

maimy, it's a bargain:


fucking hell.
Don't they like...sell those kinds of hair clips...for about $4 at the local drugstore?

And *why* is she selling all kinds of lil' plastic clips for like $40-$50??

Does anyone really *pay* that price?? sad.gif


When I see these hair clips in drugstores for about 3.50 (in Euros) I'm always thinking "Whaaaat?? 3.50??? So much money for that plastic crap???" laugh.gif
Maybe it's a front for money laundering?

(Hey guys! I mostly lurk out of not having any good ones to report.)

I was just in downtown Seattle yesterday where I saw a tourist couple doing something I thought only tourists to Hawaii would do: They both wore identical color schemes so as not to get lost from each other or something. They both wore the very same tint of khaki pants and, remarkably enough, identical shades of purple on top. The logos on their tops were different, so it wasn't as if it was a work uniform. He wore a golf shirt and she a long-sleeved button-up. Both were the color of purple you'd find if you were to get a multi-color pack of construction paper a-la grade school. Barney the Dino Purple.

In Hawaii, tourist families might buy matching Aloha prints like some kind of costume so that their *real* egos aren't hurt by the embarrasing things they do, or to scar their kids, or to make the description for the police easier in case a family member gets abducted by a group of savages. "I'm sorry Mam, but all we could find is this tattered scrap of cloth near their tribal cauldron. It looks like they used it as a napkin."

I'm clueless why such a practice would be performed in Seattle, though.
lorewolf - your post reminded me that very soon Michigan Ave. (Chicago's Number 1 tourist shopping zone) will soon be invaded by the sweatshirt mafia, bus loads of tourists who all wear similar appliqued sweatshirts for holiday shopping. Save me.
Lorewolf, thank you. You've given me enough hope to sleep at night ... Money laundering makes the only sense my mind is prepared to handle with this little item.

$4 is by far too high a price to pay for this rubbish, brand new OR "vintage".

*Off to have a quiet shudder now*
You're quite welcome, Maimy.

When I was in Japan, I went to several used-stuff shops "recycle shops". Most of them were really nice. They were clean, had really helpful staff, and there was music and bargains and a comprehensable layout. A couple shops I found (by looking really intently) weren't so nice, though. There were two which had dusty signs out front, and they basically looked like warehouses of junk. Even the staff (usually just one person) looked junk. The one I remember wasn't dressed like a salesperson at all, but had an old badge on. She ignored me while watching something on TV. The merchandise was scattered haphazardly around, collecting dust, and only some of them had price stickers. The prices were ridiculously high, too! Nobody would pay so much for dusty junk from someone not interested in selling to you.

That was apparently the point. Some local friends told us that they were just fronts for Yakuza money laundering. They could just cook up fake sales, and it would be too hard to prove that they're fake. The local people thought it was obnoxious and blatant, though.

Sorry about the invasion, KittenB sad.gif Maybe you can find your own appliqued sweatshirt and try to invade their groups?
Hey ladies, I tend to lurk in here. The truth is I work on a major state university campus so I see so many CoF's every single day I can't describe them, they all blur together into some horrible neonlegging-croc-fake-tan disaster. It's like my circuits are overloaded. Which brings me to my post. in gofug today they wrote this lovely ditty, sung to the tune of "it's a small world."

It's a world of leggings
A world of Crocs
It's a world of Bai Ling
And pants with frocks.
There's so much to abhor
Every day, there is more
It's a fug world after all

They could be describing my campus. Well, minus Bai Ling.
They call me the "Thread-killa." Don't mess.

I actually checked the "fugly" site again, haven't been there for quite a while! Oh my, oh my! blink.gif laugh.gif
Oh dear, I believe I'll be seeing plenty of appliqued sweatshirts when I go home for Xmas. Hell, I probably have one as a gift that's never been worn, if anyone here wants to borrow it for infiltration purposes.

Dear female coworker,
Hi. I know you and I normally don't chat, but would it be all right if I nominated you for What Not to Wear? I know you don't make a lot (about the same as I do), but every time I see you dressed in something from the "frumpy old woman" rack at Goodwill (and fer chrissakes, you're the same age as I), I want to scream, grab your hand and take you to Target or a thrift store for some cool and inexpensive clothes. They do exist and you don't have to go into debt to look good,or at least your age. Today, your outfit of black leggings, blue, XXX-large, oversized t-shirt and white,puffy sneakers really set my teeth on edge because 1) that outfit looks like someone who is twice your size and age would wear (and they really shouldn't) and 2) while you are trying to follow a trend, that's not it. Please, invest in some decent clothes. Yes, almost nobody here knows how to dress, but that doesn't mean you need to be one of them.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill the thread. sad.gif
It's probably wrong to say, but 3/4 of my family need to be nominated for What Not to Wear. Recently we had a family get together, and my mom just sent me the almost seems like I am the only one that cares about how they look. My parents have decided to start being one of those couples that decides they should wear matching clothes. I can't go an to any more detail....I'll feel bad for making fun.
Oh, I totally forgot to mention, a couple of weeks ago I went to a craft festival, ie. suppliers for quilting, beading, stamping, scrapbooking etc. and I saw a bunch of seasonal sweater vests.

Plus, there is a guy in my neighbourhood who has been sporting a huge ass pumpkin brooch lately.
Uggh. So many Halloween sweater vests and appliqued pumpkins and haphazard false eyelashes yesterday!

There is this girl who always shops where I work, who doesn't know how to dress. She tried to incorporate homespun trendiness into her ratty outfits and ends up looking like a misguided slob. For instance:

-nondescript gray hoodie, fine for hanging out in
-flimsy, dingy grey cotton shorts
-"leggings" which were actually sheer black tights that appeared to have had the feet hacked off with scissors; she then twisted/tucked the raggedy edges under.
-those hideous adidas sandals that were popular a few years ago
-stupid blue eyeshadow (why bother with makeup when you're dressed like you just came from the Bland Fitness Center, Inc.?).
I must confess I was accidentally a snob to a woman I liked.

I worked with her, she was a cool person but she lived way out in a small town and had three kids and had gotten kind of out of touch with stuff. So she suggested we go to dinner and out shopping, and it was great, but as we walked though the mall, she said, "Let's go in here!! I still have to get my Christmas sweater!!"

I said "What's a Christmas sweater?"

ohmy.gif I had honestly never heard of them.

Like, my mom would put on a christmas tree pin. But not, a whole piece of Christmas tree clothing.
I was in a shop the other day, just looking. Got a great cotton sweater hoodie, with some lil' bits of ramie blended in there. It'll look ok with a white T under it, just peeking out.

ANYWAY---There she was. She was checking out soooo proudly, too. She had on those thick-looking-combat-style-low-tops, BROWN.

WHITE nurses' style hose/tights
BROWN jumper dress
YELLOW turtle neck under the dress
GOLD metal loop belt around her midriff
BIG GOLD HOOP earrings

And.....her hair was a PONY TAIL WIG. A full wig, not a hair piece, either. It started at the neckline, and went aaalllll the way up to the top of her head, and was gathered there. The "wig hair" fell all the way down to her shoulders. PLATINUM YELLOW like you'd see on the "Swiss Miss" packet of hot cocoa mix.

My eyes were like, ohmy.gif .

I just couldn't stop gawking. It was the way the damned wig kept moving on her neck. You could totally see where it was woven together. blink.gif ohmy.gif blink.gif laugh.gif

Bleach is on sale this week, I think...
A wig... that started on her neck? Is this to simulate the trail of little hairs fading down the back of people's necks? Did she have any hair of her own? I think I'd need a photo of that. I think it passed the tackiness threshhold of my imagination.
LOREWOLF: You could seriously see where this thing started. It wasn't down far on her neck, just started there at the "neckline."

And, after being partially blinded by the whitish looking hose, I was just amazed by this yellow-looking wig-hair!

It was almost like she'd taken a regular old wig, and combed the hair up into a high-top ponytail!! It was just up there like some kind of helmet... sad.gif

I don't know what to think... unsure.gif
Well, I think that I'm glad your wig lady was feelin' proud, quietmadness. If you can't wear your foolishness with intestinal fortitude and character strength, you simply have nothing left.

I just read something from the Manolo's archives, all about The Holiday Sweater wear.

I can't write about anyone's fashion faux pas, cause I'm a walking fashion disaster most days. But I sure do miss Speedy, and wish he'd come by to rant about fall clothing and the New Man, or something.
Yeah, I suppose she fits into the Freak Freely category, which I'm very supportive of. I was one who backed up that Peter Pan guy.

It's the ones who dress horribly out of attempt to follow a bad trend and the ones who dress very disrespectfully in situations that demand a degree of dignity that need to be tazered and re-dressed (and I think how tazer-happy I feel at the time is an important factor).

Eep! And I must report myself in for wearing carpentry (construction) clothes out shopping for groceries after work. I must worry the people at my grocery store. Really, it's not the same clothes every single day. They're different shirts, pants, and sweatshirts that are similarly dirty and worn out because I wear out all of them in the same way by wearing them to work. That, and I DID wash them, honest! You just... can' tell by looking at them. sad.gif
Quietmadness, I'm picturing Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank for your wig lady...sounds EXACTLY like Jerri!
(Is Freaky Freely a Poltergeist reference?)
QUOTE(chachaheels @ Nov 8 2006, 11:14 PM) *

I just read something from the Manolo's archives, all about The Holiday Sweater wear.

laugh.gif Thanks for posting that link!
...there's a link in the link, which I'm going to post again, in case someone missed it.

Look!!!! laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

Sorry Chacha, but it's just so funny!!!!
Badly Aging Barbie

Bleach, frizzed, gelled, sprayed, exhausted hair, up in crispy ponytail, stabbed with single chopstick.

Lime green cotton cropped sweater with some unfortunate cabling on front. Random shirt beneath.

Knit capris, contrast stitching laid in random patterns--circles around knees, seams running akimbo around back of legs. Exceptionally strange garment, but it doesn't end there.

GIANT platform Ugg-like boots, the colour of rancid peanut butter. Think suede moon boots and you're just about right. Covering the legs of these, (but not touching the inch wide margin between the idiot boots and the inexplicable pants) were purple/orange/lime green legwarmers.

This woman was forty if she was a day. Her face, I might add, was frozen into a frightening Fergie mask of botoxed horror.

whyohwhyohwhyohwhyohwhy? My eyes have done nothing worthy of such crimes against sight.
Haaa! Also on that Holiday Sweater link, there's a Journey music video that... Well, the song is cheezy enough without actually watching the band members air guitar, and it features the most 80's woman ever!

But I love Journey's music on car rides!

& LOL @ "frightening Fergie mask of botoxed horror"
aren't the holiday sweaters an art project?
My mom made holiday sweatshirts last year, for all the kids, my gramma, my sister-in-law, and herself. She knows better than to make me one, although a black sweatshirt with a rhinestone anchor on it would be pretty fab.

Oh yeah, little Eddie has one, and yeah, he wil be wearing it for Xmas. I actually think it's kind of cute. *dodges hurled items from other fashion police*
eh, kids can wear things that adults could never get away with and still look cuter than anything. think wee little knickers and tams. it would take a lot to make a baby a CoF i think. though those weird head-band bow-tie things some parents put on their bald girl children really make me wonder. just what is that? ugh.
*Bows and kneels to BUSTYGIRL while handing over her purse-sized bottle of CLOROX!*

blink.gif <---Busty, did you make that face when you saw your bleach lady? I know I did, when I saw mine! laugh.gif
Not all of the Holiday sweaters are an art project--but those "Gem" sweaters were, in fact, an art project--a type of or a part of some kind of performance art put together by Leslie Hall. She actually still tours.

But, sadly, people do dress like that, I'd even say with the gold spandex pants (circa 1978) and all.

Yesterday, I went out shopping with my husband while suffering a burgeoning migraine. We ended up at a store like TJ Maxx (they're called Winners here in Canada, but they're part of the whole TJ Maxx chain). I can't stand those places, but M. ChaCha loves them. Let me just say that the weather here yesterday was your typical November grey, with a humid chill in the air (the kind that seeps into your bones and drills in a sub-radar chill). So: I see a pair of longish leather gloves, with snaps, in a deep tobacco leaf colour, and bonus, the gloves are on sale. I pull one on and start snapping the closures down when M. ChaCha decides the gloves are too much work and critiques my choice. They're on sale though, a really decent price and the leather's beautiful, they fit, and they already work with my coat. My husband goes to the next aisle over, and a woman looks at me and says, "You should get those, they are beautiful and they look great on you!!" She's very friendly and bubbly, but M. Cha Cha is rolling his eyes and making "WTF?" Faces (mainly because his opinion on stuff I like is always overheard by some passerby who always waits till they think he's out of earshot to tell me I should get whatever item in question cause it suits me, despite what my husband might say. M. Cha Cha calls these people my "inevitable allies", and claims they always pop up whenever I ask his opinion, which always happens to be a little negative on things I like).

We start talking, and the woman is actually fun and she's trying on gloves and finds a great pair in a peony suede colour that are on sale for $14. I encourage her to get them cause they're nice, and I think (without actually looking at the whole view) that they go with what she's got on, so she models that for me. For the first time, I actually take it all in. She's wearing:

A (what looks like Care Bears) print ski turtle neck
A faux sheared beaver fur, faux "sac" shaped car coat
what you all would call "mom" jeans
white gym socks that only go up to the ankle and feature a little turquoise pompom at the back
baby blue crocks, complete with what M. ChaCha described as "decoupage" on them (actually, what he said was "what do you call that stuff where you cut up your furniture to make scrapbooks?"). They're covered in decals like puffy ladybugs.
And now, she's holding up the peony coloured gloves against her coat and smiling.

She decided to get the gloves, and I decided to put the ones I tried on back. How could I question M.ChaCha's judgement after that?
chacha, that's exactly why i love TJ Maxxx and the like, because sometimes there's a great pair of gloves, purse, or sweater, and almost nobody that usually shops there is cool enough to pick it up. more for me!
I know, but you have to scavenge and hunt and unearth and push crap out of the way and someone's always spilled some bodywash on exactly the pair of shoes you want or crumbled swiss chocolate into the cream coloured cashmere sweater you found in your size or soaked some avocado oil from a broken tin the staff ignored into the book you wanted to buy or someone else has put your desired piece of clothing on a rack somewhere where children's or men's clothing is usually meant to be kept and no one ever tidies the racks or removes the shoes with broken heels that the staff is happy to let languish in a dusty, dirty pile, god help them.

I went into a Winner's once just after the beginning of the New Year to find the store tidy, neat, organized, all sizes in the right order, all shoes paired together and in their appropriate storage spots, all petite clothing under the petite sign and so that inventory could be done. And a staff woman actually apologized to me for the "state" of the store. I actually laughed out loud, and said I'd never seen the store so well laid out before, I was thrilled cause I could actually find what I wanted to buy easily, and the stuff wasn't damaged because it was just left in heaps. And I'd never actually seen staff around--staff other than the cashiers, anyway, walking around the racks on the salesfloor!

My aunt used to run a clothing store for almost 40 years in downtown Toronto, and she imported and sold scads of stuff for men, women and children in what was essentially a very sizeable store. When ever my cousin and I would take her into a Winner's, that was about the only time she ever used the word "Fuck!" (actually, more like "fack", in her italian-english) that I can remember. The place is frustrating.
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