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Full Version: Crimes of Fashion part Deux...this time, it's personal.
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OMG!! What the... huh.gif laugh.gif
Knit aqua shorts set?!

Does anyone else find heels with short shorts very Vegas (and not in a good way?) For some reason I think it's actually worse than heels with a miniskirt.
tan blonde young (I think) woman. Silky sundress, leetle teeny tiny straps, beige and blue and something else, horizontal wide stripes, nice enough but probably called "ethnic" when it should have been called "we didn't know what to do with these dyes". Why the CoF? Black bra and black thong. I saw it all and now I need the mindbleach.

I'm working in the city - the only person there dressed in scruffy docs and jeans - and there are lots of women in smart/city shorts with heels. They do start to look slightly vegas-esque if they're very short, and as syb said, not in a good way. However, there is nothing worse than the woman in short-short shorts, who quite clearly does not have the legs for them, strutting around like she's all that and a bag of chips.

AP, the mind boggles
case in point


so, yeah, she HAS the legs for it. but GOLD shorts? and heels? eh.
laugh.gif "...and now I need the mindbleach."

I feel somewhat obliged to report that I HAD one of those terrycloth one-piece strapless-top-with-shorts thingies when I was 11/12-ish. It was bright pink/fuschia, and it had a matching short sleeve zip up jacket. There is a picture of me wearing it as a young entrepreneur, selling Kool Aid outside my apartment building. Of course, that would have 1980.
Same old same old, when it comes to COF's.

Gorgeous girl with a great body, caught wearing a pair of knit fabric grouchos. So her legs looked three times bigger than they were.

Smoking hot girl wearing a drapey dark brown tunic with a deep V past the navel and a cute tan cami. But from the waste down: white super short daisy dukes, we are talking barely covering the cheeks, white gym sockes and running shoes? WTF?
Woman with some big girls attached to her chest - wearing an old faded white cotton cami, the type that has gone grungy and see through and is worthy only for bed - with no bra. At all.
i think the summer brings out the most hiddious garments out to the streets. there aren't that many people that look good in hotpants and i really could live without knowing what kind of underwear people have under their white trousers.
Word lux. I could also have lived without seeing the girl that came in my work today wearing a crop top so small I could see the bottom of her breasts.
Spotted today at Eastson (up scale shopping place) young girl 15-18 range with very pretty long dark hair - that's the only good thing I can say. She was wearing:

HUGE white framed sunglasses a la Elton John in his Captain Fantastic period
Avacado/dark lime green tunic top cut wayyyy down to there then tied in the middle so it ruffled out over the behind
Black calf length leggings
Black wedge heel boots - it was 90 degrees out today!
and a purse so large you could have put Vern Troyer in it.

It was a sight to behold...
how much do I love that Bathroom Cabinet Mirror Syndrome has caught on?

CoF... my office, my bookkeeper... now I have mentioned the put the boobs away on my LJ... but today... I sent her home. I told her to go get a shirt or a sweater. What would possess you, in working on a block of truck repairs, (hello all men, and not necesarilly the forward thinking roll the tongue back up and stop slamming your left foot into the ground aka horny dog style) to wear a mini so short you couldn't sit without me seeing your asscheeks, and a half shirt that was loose cut, (thankfully) but barely covered her amble bounty.
the front of the shirt in 4 inch glitter script? "SEXY" across the asscheeks? "bootylicious"
I kid you not. I can't believe I had to have the "appropriate work attire" convo with someone in their mid twenties, in an office with NO WORK ATTIRE RULES.
I wear jeans and flip flops every day possible. I believe in comfort. But there was no way she was 1 comfortable or 2 appropriate.
walkingbitch, "Bathroom Cabinet Mirror Syndrome" is actually my new favourite phrase. I use it in conversations!
speaking of CoFs from childhood....
I had a baby blue with pink trim short short and zip up jacket matching set in a fabulous faux-satin.
I remember BEGGING my mother to buy me the set when I found it at the discount wholesalers wade-through-the-boxes and then wait-in-line-for-the-better-part-of-the-day warehouse.
I can't believe she caved.
I wore it with some little cami-type thing and.....white tube socks with dark blue stripes which I pulled up to my knees.
The ensemble was like a porta-sauna in the Montreal humidity, but I wore it ALL THE TIME the summer I was 12.
Which was, incidentally, in 1980.
madmoiselle lala, oh please girl, you still dress like that and you know it. and if you aren't the cutest thing around this town, i just don't know who is.
Walking Bitch, I'm so sorry you have to go through such a horrific sight! I can't imagine wearing something like that and then going to an office. Hmmmm...I know they keep the office air up really high, do doesn't she get goosebumps when she's barely dressed like that? I can barely stand wearing a sleeveless shirt in the office.
Tube socks and knee socks are two distinctly different accessories.
My other major CoF from childhood was the only-one-side-of-the-head ponytail.
And I certainly don't do THAT anymore!
(I loved taht character in Napoleon Dynamite - I kept saying, "That was me! That was me!"
oh, you could SO rock the side pony still and you know it. damn your hide, you gots the bestest hair.
Oh man.

I saw this lady yesterday. She was I think in her mid 40s. Nice hair. Nice body (very tall and stately). Yet she was wearing - a chiffon, lower-butt length baby doll. Not a baby doll-like shirt, but a real honest nighty baby doll, with puffy sleeves too.

She wore this with: a black tanktop underneath, and black panties.

That is all. I needs me some of that eye bleach now.
I had a cof in childhood. One day I decided I would try to get dressed by myself for the first time (I was maybe 3 or 4). The ensemble was as follows:

blue footie jammies on backwards
blue pajama bottoms on top of the blue footie pajamas (also backwards)
mussy hair from sleeping.
Speaking of childhood CoFs, this one was forced on me in junior high by my father, who is notoriously unable to dress himself to this day. I was trying to get out of going to church one morning, so I used the excuse that I had no clean clothes to wear. He went into my closet and picked out an outfit that I had to wear under penalty of not being able to go to the Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert if I didn't!

The outfit: red paisley print oxford-type shirt (remember the ones with the extra long tails?), and white denim jeans, pegged, with 1/2 inch blue vertical stripes all around. And Keds.

To church.

Oh, the things I did for Bon Jovi in the eighties!
Oh....I just remembered something....the one piece strapless terry cloth top and shorts outfit I had circa 1979/ was referred to as a "romper" at the time. And my mom had one too!

Around 1984/5/6-ish (I've blocked out the exact year), when I was wearing Levis and punk/metal Japanese import t-shirts, and nothing but black, white, grey, or red (I constantly wore this grey blazer and this grey fedora - which I still miss, *le sigh*) peers were all into this HEAD-TO-TOE MATCHING PASTEL thing, which I despised. Pastel pants or skirts, pastel shoes (with pastel slouchy socks), pastel polo shirt or pastel big shirt and/or (hugely oversized) pastel shaker sweater, pastel hair ornaments, and the kicker.....matching LONG pastel-coloured fake pearls! Oh, the horror! Girls would roam the halls in packs - pink girls, green girls, blue girls - like walking pastel candy assortments. I never understood it. (And of course, *I* was considered the fashion crime...although I could still dress like that today and not be "out" of style, either!) I pray the look does not re-appear in this '80s revisit we're going through.
Oooh, pegged pants and pony tails off to one side that takes me back. Haha!
A red Hawaiian shirt, tucked into black parachute pants, with sneakers and a baseball cap.
Seen at Target. Swarthy, sweaty, lumpy, hairy gentleman, some form of gym shorts, mandals over toes that were never meant to be seen.

The kicker? SEE-THROUGH MESH TEE. Man-boobs a-jiggling. Hair poking out.

I want my mommy.
busty, ew! i saw that guy's evil twin in the mall where i work.

instead this time, he was wearing man-cargo capris, some sort of loafer-esque shoe, and the dreaded mesh tee shirt. long grey hair in a ponytail. he looked very well groomed, just horribly attired.

i know we've said this over and over again, but i am going to pool my resources and rent a billboard now:

twice yesterday, i saw the phenomon - older woman, in her 50s, wearing a tee shirt and no bra. she wasn't dressed like a slob, either. she actually was wearing a rather nice ensemble.

then the one that really scared me was a customer in my shop. a tall, amazonian blonde, with huge knockers, wearing a halter-style dress. the dress was gorgeous, but not on her. her boobs were way too unsupported for it to look good.
and me, being the shorty that i am, i was at EYE LEVEL with said knockers. i was frightened. ohmy.gif
Ooh, yeah. The other day I saw a cute older lady in an endearingly grandma-ish, fully mint green outfit. I thought it was rather precious, until she began running to catch her bus and the green keyhole top experienced seismic activity... she wasn't wearing anything underneath, and I'd estimate she was a gravity-stricken C cup. Agh.
oh man, that's nuthin'. i live in hippie-ville 'member? it's all grannies with the triple f's and no bra round here. it's like mumpy sweater lumps down to the waist and then some.

i stopped a lady at the light yesterday to tuck her back bra strap back into her sundress. she thanked me though. what can i say, it's a friendly town.
I was recently on the MIT campus, land of the genius, and my mouth just hung open the whole time, seeing guy after guy with scraggly long unkempt hair and mandals. Oh, the horror! My friend and I were so horrible, we were secretly laughing at all of them. Talk about a subculture -- I didn't see ONE GUY with any evidence of product in his hair. Not that every man has to be a metrosexual, but sheesh, guys, get with the program (and I don't mean computer program). You can have long hair without it being all gross and nest-like. Seriously, where is the appeal in that? Why do they do it -- or not do it, as the case actually is? If you're a guy and can't be bothered to take care of your hair, why grow it long in the first place?
after a night of freebie broadway tickets, boy did i have to do some eyeball bleaching last night... most of the heinous, heinous felonies i witnessed were so bad as to be indescribable. my mind has blocked memories of the worst. i think Times Square should be named Offical East Coast Capital of Fug. the only thing i will say to the Theatre-Going tourist community is this: broadway theatre is not the fricking opera. neither is it a quick run to Blockbuster. you should look well groomed and nice, but formalwear is not required. it's at a business casual, first date, after-work drinks level of dressiness. don't wear an evening gown and manolos. don't wear a stained Co-ed Naked t-shirt and mandals. you want to look nice, but not "dinner at the white house" nice.

i also have some fashion pointers for everyone! ah, the joys of fug-ography, direct and in the field.

first off. let's say you're rather modest, or maybe not terribly confident about your body. but, oh, the halter-neck sundresses at Old Navy are so cute, and only $17.99! so you buy one and resolve to figure out some way to rock it despite your tendency to go for a more covered up look most of the time. wearing a full-coverage soccer mom tank or a men's white undershirt under the halter neck is NOT the answer. i'm not sure what the answer is, but it isn't that. you could maybe get away with one of those super-threadbare vintage tee shirts, though, but only if it doesn't really match that much AND you get a 25% view of the ironic slogan on the shirt.

also, on the subject of the 'grammaw chic' thing that's been sweeping the hipster nation so far this spring/summer. a few helpful hints. number 1: the senior citizen look is best pulled off if one is under 30, or at least looks it. if you're pushing middle age, you will just look elderly before your time in that muumuu. number 2: don't combine all the possible 'retirement center' acountrements all at the same time into sort of an Ur-Senior look. for instance, if you're going to wear a house dress, don't also wear white orthopedic-looking shoes AND big jackie o glasses AND a rhinestone brooch clipped to your shawl while also carrying one of those big satchel purses. this is especially problematic if one is at the upper age limits of hipsterdom (late 30's-early 40's). someone will think you are a retiree with a really, really good plastic surgeon.
i'm not sure what the answer is

bklyn, the answer, my friend, is a cute little lightweight cardigan with 3/4 length sleeves in a complimentary color. it covers up, still looks summery, and is my personal secret weapon.

one that is fitted and hits the waist, because if it is too long it ventures into "grammaw" territory.

target sells 'em for $17.99!
I'm still puzzling over an outfit I saw this afternoon, on a woman walking past the coffee shop where I was getting a drink. At first I thought maybe she was en route to a costume party, but it was 3 in the afternoon and she was with a dude in khakis and beige polo.

-Black studded 'chaps' that were cut away from the top of the leg, creating a kind of hot-pants thing from the waist to a few inches down the leg, chap-like extensions flowing from there
-White studded halter top, extremely short/low-cut
-Black sunglasses
-Platform sandals
-Huge gold earrings/necklace
-Orangey fake tan
-Long, long straight black hair

She was wearing it like she meant it, too. And her companion looked so square and bland. I was very tempted to follow them to find out what their deal was, but it's too hot to stalk...
That cardigan looks cute. Very cute.

Flyingfrog, I have no idea either. Costume party? Lost a bet?

This weekend a bunch of us had to work overtime, and we weren't too happy about it. Because one of my male coworker's plan was to go swimming, he showed up on Saturday in the following outfit:

--ratty, faded black t-shirt
--brand-new, bright blue flowered swim trunks
--white socks
--black sandals

Unfortunately the person who told us to come in wasn't there to be blinded by this.
I saw someone on the street at 9:30 on Friday morning wearing a short, strappy dress with uneven hem, and high heeled sandals. It looked like she was doing the walk of shame, that she hadn't come home from last night's party, but I don't think it was the case, partly because she had a fairly substantial purse.
I think I have spotted a new CoF trend and it is very scary. I have in the past three days seen two men in flourescent crocs.

The first was an older gentelman, in his 60's , balding, grey beard, faded blue Hawiian print shirt, light blue jeans, and hot pink flourescent croc.

the second a younger hipster mid 20's in cut off fatigue shorts, a t-shirt and flourescent orange crocs.

Has anyone else noticed this disturbing trend. Ugh!
Today I saw a teenage girl wearing trainers and jeans - fine. She was also wearing a white beater with a black waistcoat over the top which formed a corset at the back. This was topped off by a black fedora which was too big for her.

I didn't really get it.

And a woman turned up at my work for an interview in skanky beach flip flops with a ratty flower on them. Hmmm.
Here's one that just makes me laugh....and maybe I can only laugh 'cause I live in tourist country, and I've seen it so often....but what is up with all the senior citizen tourists who dress in matching couples outfits?

Is it in case one loses track of the other, so s/he'll be easier to find/describe to others?
Fluorescent (fluorescence?) seems to be making a disturbing comeback in general. A couple of weeks ago I was nauseated by a woman sporting a full sweatsuit in that weird greenish-yellow highlighter-marker color. Emblazoned across various parts of the garments were those annoying, gigantic "THINK PINK"-style mottos Victoria's Secret loves so much. Mysteriously, the sleeves and pant legs were pushed up, too, adding to the ghastly impression. Combined with the slightly undersized nature of the sweats, it didn't flatter her. AT ALL.

It was tragic, especially since it was a relatively nice restaurant and she had a pretty good body (but a bad fake tan). And her two sons (maybe age 10?) were wearing identical, garishly large sunglasses (think grandma glasses, in primary colors).

The man with them was dressed perfectly appropriately, and seemed to be walking a safe distance away from them. I felt kind of sorry for him.
since it is so fucking hot, I am waiting till the evening to even bother puting clothes on. not that that is a cof but just wanted to share. It is too hot to get dressed so I am just not.
LadyJ, I'm with you. At least, not getting dressed until the husband comes home and can take me to go run some errands.

And I've got a good COF, at a supervisor training meeting the other day: Pepto pink pleated knee-length skirt, a size or so too small, paired with a black and pink pink panther t-shirt. And pink and white running shoes, on a woman aged 35 or so.
went out to see the I heart house music set at the note and Yes I do heart house music ( all night long)
what is great is that straight men can really get down to it, multiethnic crowd and people just shaking thier asses

as well as assorted CoF's two in particular.

1) woman in white tank top,with a pink belt with darker pink hearts and a gold clasp directly under her tits. Why? her skirt was a navy blue linen with pockets and cute open toed heels but that belt under the boobs or bub for short was heinous

of course number 1 must have gotten ready with woman number two who was also sporting a black ruched dress over jeans which in this heat is just stupid and a black belt with gold buckles under her boobs. the BuB where did it come from? why did these women conciously decide to rock this abomination?
quite possibly...the tacky-est shoes of all time.
Eeww! Yeah those are pretty bad, misspissed!
OTOH, if I were a stripper, I'd rather have a patron stick tip money in my shoe than my g-string. Ew. blink.gif
maybe i missed something, but how do you get the money out of the shoe afterwards?

(why am I still up and pondering this? I need to go to bed.)
Gofugyouself, right on as usual, have had things to say about the misplacements of belts lately...
looking for belts in all the wrong places
Ooh, I saw some stripper shoes like that the other day. They didn't have a tip jar, they had dice or something, I didn't have time to stop and look.
you know, brett, i was thinking the same thing! maybe the bottom or the side comes off? or you just have to extract the money somehow through the slot? hmm.

doodle, perhaps money in the shoe is better than money in the crotch.

but the idea is still pretty tacky, IMO. like how much more "stripper" can a shoe get? it's lucite and everything!
The swimsuit section of that site intrigues me though... affordable suits for small ladies with big boobs! Although sadly all of the boobs featured in the suits are fake so I can't really tell if they're actually supportive or not... and most of them are boring and plain. All I know is that my swimsuit tops are always too small.
Back to school fashion from the Boston Globe.
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