May 25 2006, 02:21 PM
i second hercules, ambercherry. that's what i always wore (mostly 'cause it was them, dirty runners, or birks)
May 25 2006, 11:44 PM
thanks for the tips on Paraboot and the other Dansko lines, Speedy & dayglo!!
there are some adorable shoes in both lines
May 26 2006, 07:49 AM
Can someone tell me what is up with the new trend of wearing pajama pants under shorts and worse..short skirts? I have seen this twice in one week.
Jun 1 2006, 11:11 AM
you mean the skorts? theres a radio spot that has a girl in a valley girl voice saying " skort skort skort!!!(with much enthusiasm) i just love that word!!!"
Jun 1 2006, 01:12 PM
God...are skorts back? it's like culottes falling from the sky or some shit. Now, spork. THAT'S a good word.
And can I just say: this big studded belts over blousy blouses and miniskirts trend can just go.the.fuck.away.now. Is it really the 80s again? Frankly, I'm not interested in dressing in some sort of Reagan-era-homage, and consider it an assault on my senses...
Doesn't it get really expensive to stay so misguidedly trendy?
Jun 1 2006, 02:04 PM
Dude, culottes? Gah. All I can think of is that the fundie-xtian school cheerleaders were forced to wear culottes instead of proper cheerleading skirts when I was in high school, and we mercilessly made fun of them. Now people are apparently wearing them voluntarily.
Anyway, the CoF that almost made me trip over the sidewalk yesterday: 3 teenage boys walking together, two all hip-hopped out in their baggy jeans and tshirts and whatnot, and the third in a cowboy hat, tucked-in tshirt and tight jeans, and boots. More of a crime of context than anything, really; soooo confusing!
Jun 1 2006, 02:44 PM
No, I hate skorts. I refused to ever wear one even when they were cool.
heehee, my mom wears culottes.
Jun 1 2006, 06:03 PM
I'm so old I was around when they were skorts in the 90s and around when they were coulottes in the 70s. I wore a skort dress to King's Dominion once. It was funky-60s hip, and my mom had made it. It was also kinda handy because the wind wasn't keeping a SKIRT in any shape for protecting State Secrets. Other than that day, I can't remember ever desiring a skort/coulotte or finding them appealing ...
Luci, totally with you. Imagine the wringing I wish I could give to my eyeballs when I see the uber-tight spandex microminidress that has an enormously blousy, loose, off-the-shoulder top ... Think I am kidding? Think again: http://cgi.ebay.com/TEAL-Eva-Low-Cut-Plunging-V-Neck-Mini-Dress-Sexy-New-L_W0QQi temZ9324895405QQihZ006QQcategoryZ63861QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Jun 1 2006, 06:04 PM
what's with fishnet kneesocks?
i think they were invented so that you could have the fishnet look under pants, longer skirts, etc.
but no, they are NEVER to be worn with a miniskirt.
and they are ESPECIALLY never to be worn with a miniskirt and open toed shoes.
the biggest Crime of Fishnet is fishnet kneesocks worn with formal shorts AND open toed shoes, when said shoes were SILVER DISCO PLATFORMS. and blue tinted elvis sunglasses. i forgot about those. goddess forbid if you are already wearing formal shorts, fishnet platforms, and disco wedgies, do NOT accessorize with elvis sunglasses. just don't. ok?
yes, this is actually based on a real live person i saw on the subway. i wanted to walk up to her and say "No."
Jun 1 2006, 06:17 PM
Hee, bklynhermit: Just Say No to Fishnet (with miniskirts and disco shoes)...
I personally would like to deliver my own rules old commandment-style: "Thou Shalt Not Wear the Blousy-top micro-mini dress. Ever." (Maimy owes me new eyes)
Jun 1 2006, 06:56 PM
oh. maimy. no... don't DO that to me, gah.
hey, i like fishnet kneehighs with that whole weird goth punk look. not that i would ever wear that myself, much too old, but on the right tender sweet young thing it's cute.
Jun 1 2006, 08:29 PM
Now, spork. THAT'S a good word.
yes! i love sporks. best invention ever.
now, as for skorts- totally unnecessary, people. let's make a commitment to either a skirt or shorts. it isn't that hard.
Jun 1 2006, 11:36 PM
what i've been seeing a lot, especially on the high school age kids around here, are pajama bottoms, sometimes complete with fuzzy slippers and matching camisole-style tank top/actual camisole, like straight up out of the old lady section of the sears catalogue/button-down shirt in same obnoxiously loud pattern. and they always have the accompanying bedhead, but their make-up is perfect. well, perfectly garish, but the fact that it's done says that this wasn't some five-minute run to 7-11 for the morning paper gone horribly wrong. they're going out like this on purpose. on purpose! when did it become the height of trendy to spend a day on the town looking like you literally just rolled out of bed five minutes ago? i suppose their parents are letting it slide out of gratitude that they've abandoned their miniskirts and uggs and track pants with the word sexy emblazoned across the ass. but really, are we not just trading one evil for another?
Jun 1 2006, 11:40 PM
Seen today: Woman in her 40s. Wearing a white tank top, no bra. Didn't have big boobs but still needed support and was showing nipplage. Big poofy grandma hair. And then the Mom Jeans. Pleats, high waisted, acid wash, wide black belt. Belt was mere inches below sagging boobs. At the bottom were thick sneakers, something like New Balance.
I could not stop staring, taking mental notes.
Jun 2 2006, 09:49 AM
*Lavender* fishnets are never good. Especially when worn with a dress in a matching lavender, and red heels. To a 10am press screening.
I could just tell she had put thought into this outfit, and was consequently strutting around all chuffed with herself. You really don't want to sport a CoF like that in front of arts journos, who have too much time and bile on their hands to let it pass...
Jun 2 2006, 10:03 AM
Now that it’s summer, many nights are spent at various local watering holes sipping Bell’s Oberon al fresco. Being as I live in the sartorial nightmare that is Ypsilanti Michigan I have a slew of CoFs to share…
1. If you’re gonna wear your hair in a bouffant, make sure that you comb down the top layer in the back. From the front it was a killer hairstyle; from the back it was a killer of hair follicles.
2. Oh little dweeb man with the miniature accordion. I truly envied your mini-accordion (this is crimes of fashion, not crimes of music people – cut me a break). However, I did not envy your brown chunky suede winter shoes, patterned socks with sailboats on them, bird legs, and blousy white short shorts. And the matching sailboat tee tucked into said blousy white short shorts…words can’t convey the CoF you were sporting. By the way, you are a skinny man, wearing the blousy white short shorts above the ribs really wasn’t doing anything for you. Were you a joke? A sartorial mess of an angel sent to relieve my tension after realizing that I had forgotten my bike lock combo?
3. Cute vintage sun-dress! Not to be worn with a funky brown tee shirt complete with armpit holes and the most cod-awful brown roman gladiator sandals that were TOO BIG! When you have straps up to damn near your knees, the damn things shouldn’t be falling down!
4. Oh do you know the muffin top? The muffin top, the muffin top, oh do you know the muffin top who’s pants are falling down? Seriously chica, if I can see your muffin top through your pregger look(but not really) babydoll top, your pants are too effing tight! And really, is labia flossing really necessary, and is denim the right choice of fabrics to do so? And the razor cuts through bum area, not sexy. That’s some kind of Samantha “naughty girls need love too” Fox trashy.
Jun 2 2006, 10:13 AM
I *like* number four, polly.
ok... blonde woman, 30-40ish; denim skirt, nothing terrible, right waist, length (ok, a bit short), shape. Matching denim jean-jacket that ended just at the wrong height on her hips. Pale blue tights. I mean sky-blue, they were lighter than the denim, and that odd 20-dernier weight where you can almost see the skin tone underneath, and they emphasise all the bad points of your knees.
She finished it with a pair of square-pointed ugly brown kitten-heeled mules that didn't go with anything.
Jun 2 2006, 01:13 PM
ha! "labia flossing" *crosses legs*
Knickers. Are we doing knickers now? Not underwear, no formal shorts, but poofy, Dickensian, button-just-below-the-knee tweed fucking knickers!!
(Unfortunately, girl was rocking it. I am just jealous).
Jun 2 2006, 02:16 PM
dude this a.m. waiting outside Midas muffler: knee-high shorts and matching camp shirt in big-check orange plaid. The kicker? A matching hat. Um, nuh-uh. Plus, you don't get a break on this one for being a working-class minority. Basically, bro, what the heck?
Jun 2 2006, 02:54 PM
On the R train this morning:
Woman, 20s, very attractive. EXCEPT! Below-knee-length oversized (mens?) green cargo shorts, white lace footless tights, a grey military-looking cropped blazer and brown, pointy-toed flats. I see this shit all the time at NYU (where I work, but the Criminals are usually only about 19.
Jun 2 2006, 02:58 PM
On my way to work this morning: A sassy older lady wearing a red t-shirt with fake military styling on the front (gold buttons, faux-epilettes, etc) and "soldier of love" on the back in gold sequins.
Haven't decided yet if this is a COF or just plain fabulous. I wanted to give her a hug.
Jun 2 2006, 02:59 PM
ha, kbot79, I live on St. Mark's. Leggings and formal shorts and torn shirts layers upon layers upon layers 24 hours a day. I think there's a competition going on about who can be more 'alternative.' Which is completely missing the point.
*shudders and stomps off muttering something about oversized belts*
Jun 2 2006, 03:38 PM
WHAT is with these footless tights and ripped shorts in NYC? are others wearing this horrible look around the country? for shame, with all the exposure to fashion and lots o sample sales - (hangs head).
i hate wearing tights whenever (exceptions made for black tights, but mostly these have now been usurped by thigh-high opaques for comfort), but footless and not black. especially white, pink, etc? for dance class YES, for wear under ripped shorts EEEP/NO
Jun 2 2006, 05:33 PM
I'm still trying to work out the concept of formal shorts ... Blyken? Little help? *Grin*
Okay, and I'll hit the eye mall today. Ladies, what colors and prescriptions do I need for y'all?
Jun 2 2006, 10:28 PM
kbot, I think I saw who you're talking about. For serious (I was also on the R).
Jun 3 2006, 09:29 AM
I have my own crime of fashion to report. I have succumbed to the horror that is the leggings/miniskirt combo. I give up. I concede. I wave the white flag of egregious sartorial error and promise never to make fun of anyone else's bad fashion again.
*this may or may not be a promise I can keep. Jessica Simpson, I'm looking at you.*
Jun 3 2006, 09:37 AM
*Sincerely hoping Busty can't keep this promise*
Jun 3 2006, 09:50 AM
CoF question: If you don't have a bag, is it ok to hang you sunglasses in your cleavage? So they are hooked over your top with one of their arms? Is that ok?
Jun 3 2006, 09:56 AM
IMO it's way better than wearing them on your head like a quasi-alice band, ladies-who-lunch style.
I just know as soon as I go out I will spot many, many CoF brought on by warm weather in a land where no-one (including myself) has a 'summer wardrobe'. Will be back, possibly with scalded eyes...
Jun 3 2006, 10:23 AM
Fashion help, I don't want to be a CoF. I bought some swimsuit coverups like these: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_5/601-1646111-3740114?_encoding= UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000CCG3QQ
would it be okay to just wear them as shorts with a cami or a t-shirt?
Jun 3 2006, 04:47 PM
if it looks good and you can rock it, sure.
not sure why they're marketing those as gauchos -- they look nothing like them. personally i feel like those would make me look like somebody's grammaw.
Jun 4 2006, 05:46 PM
i f**king love the summer. Green linen-cotton peasant top. 3/4 length pink trousers (they were too heavy to be gauchos).
lime green ankle uggs.
it was 26degreesC outside. And she was still in her uggs.
Gauchos don't seem to be so prevalent here - there are places selling them, but I don't know if I've seen them called gauchos. It's capri pants here.... everywhere.
I'm a CoF... I wear my sunnies on my head. But I don't have a cleavage - or a low-cut top - to hang them in.
Jun 4 2006, 10:32 PM
I live in Montreal so every third person is a CoF! My fav today was the lady at the grocury store...Big "yellow" (not blonde) hair. Short acid washed jean jacket, cotton candy pink capri's that went up past her short jacket (hello camel toe?)and white patent leather sandals. It was like a train wreck that I couldn't take my eyes off!...How can you carry a Gucci bag (yes it was real) but look like a 50 year old women dressed for pre-school?
In gaucho news - the word is used as a marketing tool because it, like "boho" and other ridiculous catch names/words sell. The word "gaucho" refers to "A cowboy of the South American pampas" and "Calf-length pants with flared legs". Wear what makes you happy and f@%& the names; I'm going to look at my technical drawing book to get to the bottom of this stupid gaucho!
...ginger_kitty your very cute shorts to my design edu-macted self are surf shorts and would look cool with just a bikini top (@ the beach) or with a cami. I've been shamelessly wearing the mens ones for many years!
Jun 5 2006, 01:35 PM
Thanks bklynhermit and dirtbunny, I am gonna go ahead and wear them with out worries. I was surprised they were labeled gauchos, they just seemed like board shorts like you said ddritbutnny.
Jun 5 2006, 02:30 PM
Oh great googly moogly. I am gonna start a photoblog. Yesterday. Cute woman wearing... a red mini-cowboy hat, yellow ill-fitting baby tee, red/white/yellow madras plaid capris. Writing it down it sounds kinda cute, but it was AWFUL!
Jun 5 2006, 05:45 PM
Uhm, did everyone forget that tights are really cool looking, like, totally? I once spent an entire day at work (8 or 10 hours) looking at different pairs of tights.
Jun 5 2006, 06:33 PM
I *park* my sunglasses on my head, but I do not *wear* them there. The dividing line for me is a time limit of say five to ten minutes - or the absence of a bag to stuff 'em in (my shades are too flippy to stay put if I put them in the cleavage).
NON fashion crime to report for a change - amusingly, 3/4 of the women I work with most closely every day (100% on "the power strip", my section of the floor!) wore a wonderful variety of B/W outfits today. Couple of black and white dresses, one pair of sharp black slacks with a nice white piqe' top, one "boho" (hee) white cotton skirt with black graphic flora, and my own little MaxAzria faux-wrap dress ... We were fab, every one of us. Go us!
Jun 5 2006, 06:47 PM
i think they're really only gauchose if they're loose and flowy, or clingy and being eaten by your vagina (because they really do end up that far up, i'm sure)
no cofs for me lately. but i did see thigh-highs at the drugstore today. i think i'll pick up a bunch. nude fishnets, black fishnets, any other kind they have. i love wearing cute tights with skirts, but i've only found one brand (i think oh! les filles) that doesn't do evil things to my tummular region
Jun 5 2006, 06:56 PM
heehehee, tyger. That's my defination of gaucho's too.
My cof is a lady I saw a the ice cream shop wearing white capris pulled up just beneath her breasts with the deepest panty lines I have ever seen in my entire life. Which somehow she managed to tuck a sleeveless teal polo into but I can't imagine where she found the space to tuck.
Jun 5 2006, 11:14 PM
i go back and forth between no CoFs for days, and then BAM it's total overflow, the the extent that i'm too overwhelmed to even post anything.
and then there's the other day, when i was cataloguing like 5 specimens on the subway when i was unfortunately distracted by a really cute boy who was totally NOT a CoF.
Jun 6 2006, 01:25 PM
I must report an anti-CoF, if that is allowed.
There's a man who goes into the bistro next door every single day. Previously, he had this really long, stringy ponytail. Well, today I saw him and the hair is all chopped off. Turns out, he has very nice, naturally wavy hair...AND he looks about 15 years younger!! Now if only he'd lose the goatee...
Attention, people of the world! Stop hiding behind your hair!! (This means you, too, Jake Gyllenhaal!)
Jun 8 2006, 01:16 PM
Okay,Cof: This older lady I work with maybe late 30's early 40's always dresses way to young for her age. Now don't get me wrong she looks good for her age. But, I think Britney Spears is her fashion role model. Her cof is she started wearing baby doll t-shirts that say things like 'look but don't touch' and 'you don't deserve this'
Actually, it's not even an age issue, I don't think anyone should wear lame slogans like that.
Jun 8 2006, 02:00 PM
ginger....she wears these t-shirts to WORK?
Jun 8 2006, 02:33 PM
another older lady... shopping with her daughter (herself wearing a dress that was too low-cut for daywear imo). She had white, long-square toed slingbacks on (last seen at a wedding circa 1998), black big-net tights - where the fishnet is made of diamonds about an inch on each side. A knee-length wrap skirt in beige, that was covered in sequins, some sort of crinkly satin/silk top in a mint green, and then a white bolero/shug/doodah, again encrused with shiny beads. She looked like she was playing dress-up in all her mummy's sparkliest clothes.
Oh, and the woman in her middle years, perma-tanned mahogany (with that papery skin thing) wearing a sun dress clearly designed for someone twenty years younger, with dyed blonde hair that was so light it clashed with her skin tone. Or she was wearing a wig.
ginger - those things are a cof no matter who they're on, but especially for workwear
Jun 8 2006, 03:19 PM
One - ONE - sparkly thing during the day is a creative fashion statement. Three sparkly things during the day is a different kind of statement altogether: $20 blowjobs.
These older folks who look 20 years older due to endless tanning during their youth...I have no empathy. My mom told me in the '70s what tanning would do to my skin. (And I heeded the warning!) So if people knew it then, there's really no excuse for the way they look now.
Just another curious fashion crime, as recently pointed out by Kathy Griffin: why DOES Ann Coulter wear cocktail dresses at 7 in the morning?
Goddess, I'm so bitchy today.
Jun 8 2006, 04:11 PM
I'm 38. I feel so old now!
*Definitely prefers clothing upon which the only words are related to cleaning and care*
The closest thing I have to offer as a "crime" today is that a woman in my building was wearing a very nubby, rather warm looking, pink wool suit. It was of a color of pink that I would actually accept (non-Pepto) ... but it's 85 degrees. Wool which can be called "thick" is likely a bad choice ...
Jun 8 2006, 05:42 PM
Oooh, Maimy, you're only 12 years older than me, you aren't old! I keep forgeting that I am going on 30. So I always say older, my mistake!
Yeah, I know I work in a factory(for now), so the dress code is obviously really slack. But those t-shirts are just trashy.
I agree, doodle. My mom, was a sun block nazi, even in the 80's. Anyway, I think it's scary when people are 'too tan'. Thier skin starts to get leathery.
Jun 8 2006, 05:46 PM
Maimy, you are so not old. Even at 105, you won't be old. MWAH!
Jun 8 2006, 06:42 PM
I'll be 38 this year. I guess I count myself among the older folk. But the non-sun-wrinkly kind!
Jun 8 2006, 11:26 PM
Seen today at a deli: Woman in her 50s. VERY big hair. Big, poofy, fake-o blond feathered hair. Like a good four inches high on all sides, down past her shoulders. Sort of like a televangelist's wife hair. T-shirt and short-shorts, which she did not have the legs for, though she was strutting around as if she thought she did. Ugly 70s sunglasses, way too big for her head, where the lenses were kinda detached from the frames on the sides, so she looked like a giant fly. Didn't notice the shoes due to the train wreck that was hair and sunglasses. Heads turned as she walked by as if to say "Oh my God, what the hell?!"
She had what appeared to be her granddaughter with her, whom she made get up every 30 seconds to get a straw, a fork, a napkin, more sugar packets, blahblah. Poor kid did not get to eat any time before she was told to get up again for something else. You could tell the kid was kind of embarrassed to be seen with her too. It was sad.