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Full Version: Crimes of Fashion part Deux...this time, it's personal.
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hee hee, bklynhermit, I would've paid to see that!
I was following a guy into the mall yesterday, looking at about three inches of grey wool socks showing below his khakis, thinking, "Elderly men. They just shoot up so fast these days..."
Youngish woman today wearing normal top, t-shirt and hoodie i think. She was then wearing baggy denim knee length shorts. With grey tracksuit bottoms beneath.
*snorts* thank you, dusty... the mental image.

I think the mom jeans are genetic... maybe they're passed down as a sort of rite. At which point they pass down the knowledge of the CoF-mall too.
yesterday at disneyland/C.A., i saw a load of CoF's....but i remember a distinct few...

-the man who brought with him a wrestling belt..and was carrying it over his shoulder. WTF?

-and the couple with the mime face paint on. and regular clothes. WTF?
on campus today:

green khaki-type sort-of cropped jacket
gauzy floaty off-white tunic top ending well below the jacket
tight, washed-out camo capri pants
3" leopard print stiletto heels

the whole thing was a disaster, but the shoes were the absolute worst part, in their wtf-itude. and she was walking across the grass. i have no idea how she didn't seriously injure herself in those shoes.
Cripes, I'm good at walking in heels and even I can't walk across grass without looking like a fool.And why am I picturing Peggy Bundy in that outfit?

Today at work, on one of my coworkers, mid-thirties, who has rather interesting fashion sense:

--cropped, floaty white top with sleeves that looked like they belonged on a shortened kimono
--pink and green tapestry print leggings (and yes, you could see everything)
--purple socks
--navy running shoes

The sad thing is, her haircut is actually cute, but the outfit didn't match it at all. At least she was wearing a bra (this is a woman who needs to wear one and she doesn't always do that) and the top covered her belly (again, she has worn tops like that to work).
Oh fug, I got another look at her and her belly is poking out from underneath the top.
I was at a fashion line release party with my roommates, and this chic caught my eye. She was wearing...
Kelly green satin boxy dress that had the look of an oversized tux shirt from the 70's (complete with long sleeves and the ruffle down the front)
A large gold and brown belt that was cinched in such a way that her waist looked like where sausages connect
A cotton hooded zip up tunic that hit her right above the knees and was pale peach
Black mid calf stretch pants
Purple high top Converse All Stars.
You don't have to try so hard just because you are at a fashion related event! There was no dresscode. Most of the people in attendance looked either classic, snazzy, or chill. Lots of sandals and such. I myself threw on some smart red peep toe pumps and a grey fitted tee over the jeans I wore to the dog park. While trying to emmerse myself in the (local) world of fashion, I was initially scared of snobs. Though they exist, I am now deathly afraid of being the girl who tries to hard.
I think I just wandered into the realm of CoF.

I went out wearing black band t-shirt that is a childsize so not only did I get the breasts urging to be free look, but a good 4 inches of my gut hanging out, knee length denim shorts with turnups which have been "distressed", no makeup, no wash in fact - including hair, and to top it off, gold fakenstocks.

Although I happened to go out on the school run and all I can say is, at least I'm not wearing gauchos.
IME, the school run is a veritable minefield for the CoF.

Miss_jane, black band t-shirts are always cool.

*goes off into sunshine to spot tourists in bad shoes and stupid knapsacks, the better to report back*
Thanks sybarite.

I do feel sorry for those on the schooln run though. I don't know if i'd be bothered to be normal. Although I wouldn't have bought gauchos in the first place.
I have a skinny male professor who shows up wearing too-big baggy khaki shorts, sneakers over socks pulled up, and ratty t-shirts layered under baggy sweater vests. Often he'll even show up wearing t-shirts with several holes throughout. It makes him kind of charming, but very obvious that he doesn't have a wife throwing away his old t-shirts at home. Cause my boyfriend sure as hell wouldn't leave the house like that.
but but but, i LOVE the ratty t-shirt look, it's so Cute! especially on an absent minded professor-type. yum.

ok, i'm so over the brasilian sports jersey phase. give it a rest already, it is so out!
Pepper, you've reminded me that the World Cup will be on in a matter of weeks. Cue lots of previously pale men, sunburned from drinking beer outdoors, wearing deeply unflattering football tops over shorts finished by ancient loafers or trainers with socks.

Oh, to live in a country where the men are used to dressing for warm weather...
would I be committing a Crime of Fashion if I didn't wear pantyhose w/a shin-legnth semi-formal thin strapped dress to a formal event?
my legs are pale, but, so is the rest of me:-)
never mind. we're not going after all. :-(
I never think that not wearing pantyhose is a CoF. Liberate the legs!
Walking down the steet with her punk boyfriend, shooting death glares of superiority at everyone:

-huge black floppy hat
-straggly blond hair
-cropped shirt
-long, wide black pants flapping in the wind and draggin' on the sidewalk
-cut superlow and very tight in the waist, giving her a totally unnecessary muffin top
-combination of cropped shirt and low pants exposed way too much white white white Canadian winter belly. Like a floating trout.
-low pants apparently required some shaving, which left her with a nasty rash that was totally visible above her pants. Seriously, it looked she was airing it out 'cause it was itchy.

And did I mention that she was really snotty-looking. Like she was daring me to judge her by my fascist pubic-rash-free beauty standards.
yesterday... leggings. with this huge t-shirt thing. I don't think it was a dress, I think it actually was a t-shirt. Garish eighties pattern on it. Face like a smacked bottom too. The worst bit was she had fairly skinny legs (but not skinny enough for leggings) but had one of those enormous upper bodies that made her look like she was carrying a cushion up there.

oh, and I'm going to have to have words with my friend's gf. pretty (but childishly naff) patterned skirt, strappy vest-top (bra showing, logo'd, natch). I could have coped, it was hot today. But she finished the look with socks and trainers. Black trainers.

Syb... I was out today & they don't need the world cup. Oxford Street and shirtless. At least two of them.
At the closest Wal-Mart earlier today:

==Lacy, billowy type "hippie" top. Tie dyed purple.
==HUGE sterling silver/turquoise bangle bracelets.
==HUGE necklace/earrings to match
==Cream colored "knicker" pants--with the bows at the knees!

=======> HIGH HEELS (stilletos) with the cross-up straps. Up the calves. White pasty legs.

Am I a CoF now? I just bought a shrug (or something, I'm not sure) It's a very thin, soft material and the grain of the cloth looks lacy (I know that makes no sense). It fastens with little buttons and has a high lacy collar and ribbon trim. The whole thing is raspberry-colored, and it ends a good 5' below my bustline. I guess it's more of a cropped shirt that a shrug, but it's still too short to wear without something longer underneath. I don't know WHAT to wear underneath though. I have big boobs, so it's hard to find any shirt that fits in the chest and doesn't look like a tent over the rest of me. This actually makes me look more proportional, though. Do I wear a camisole under it or a small button-down, or what?
quietmadness -- wtf???

the top half of her ensemble could have been understandable with a pair of jeans or some sort of hippie skirt or something.

the bottom half of her ensemble, while generally inexcusable, could have been at least understandable with some sort of lingerie top or beaded tank or something, big sunglasses, and other total hipster accessories, if AND ONLY IF she was under 30.

but together? madness.
just remembered one of the worst COFs i've ever seen, observed on a young gentleman at the gay bar last week: thin, white pants of a frumpy cut, belted at the waist, worn over a white thong. he was standing in front of a blacklight, and his thong was glowing through the pants, like a luminous beacon of thong. holy shit.
Someone's got to work that into a poem.

Luminous beacon of thong,
How wrong! How wrong!
Why must you draw attention
to his ass and dong?
Hellot, I'd probably go for a very plain sleeveless top under it, in a colour that either complements it or doesn't clash (like white).
Thanks, that's what I was thinking too. I have a snug white camisole that I think looks okay with it.
Oh and while I'm in here, I wanted to make a comment about porn clothes. I was looking at one of my boyfriend's magazines and they had the models wearing the most hideous things. They must have a rack of clothes or something and the girls have to pick out what they want to wear. I can picture someone going, "Um, I GUESS I could wear these high-waisted jeans with no pockets and an elastic waist..." Everything was so ugly, I'd want to take my clothes off too!
Yay! Epi and lorewolf! You both contributed to cracking me up.
Lorewolf, with posts like that, we don't get NEARLY enough of you around here ...

No crimes to report at the mo'.
i saw a woman who apparently forgot to wear pants for her stroll around the neighbourhood the other day. she was wearing spandex "shorts" that were about the same size as the underwear i'm wearing right now. they ended at the crotch. the shirt she was wearing was just long enough to cover them, too. she looked like she'd just decided to leave the house without even putting all her clothes on. and this wasn't any skinny little 14-year-old poptart who didn't know any better, either. this was a mature - and rather voluptuous - woman. i don't understand. why would you want to show the entire world your jiggling, fleshy white thighs? isn't that exactly how you don't want to look?
on the Q train headed to brooklyn just now:

middle aged couple. the husband is clearly drunk, or perhaps just extremely exhausted and is DROOLING AWAY on his wife's chest. He's, shall we say, rather tubby, and wearing a tight grey man-tank with black cargo pants or construction jeans or somesuch, which are giving him SERIOUS plumber ass as he nosedives into his wife's cleavage. I believe he had some godawful sneakers on, as well, but to be honest the plumber ass was kind of distracting and I didn't get a good look. The wife is also middle aged, but thinner, and has bad extremely fake highlights, a Jennifer Aniston haircut circa 1996, and is wearing this tank top that manages to be both frumpy and slutty all at once, and which is now covered in her husband's drool. Over the tank top she has some kind of cheapo fake suede jacket, caramel colored. I didn't get a good look at the pants, but I'd bet you a dollar they were mom jeans. She is reading what appears to be an in-flight magazine while trying her best to ignore the huge middle aged man who has attached himself to her upper abdomen.
Spotted, while driving: young woman exiting the university campus in tan uggs, some kind of khaki clamdigger or gaucho (with two inches of skin between boot top and trouser hem), kelly green pullover with drawstring at the bottom (thus causing the pullover to resemble a knitted green garbage sack), and white jacket of some type that was lost on me by then, because it was the only piece of the outfit that didn't look...wrong, somehow.

Wayyyy too many capri pants at a conference of non-profits today. And I wore a damned blazer because I was told the mayor would be there.

Oh, oh! *sam kinison voice* Ohhhhh! And the thing with the mayor...he couldn't attend after all, so he sent a city councilor in his stead...who wore khakis with a blue and white Hawaiian shirt...which he wore tucked into his pants...the waist of which rode somewhere well under his paunch. (I'm not dissin' the paunch, just the style.)

damn funny girls. damn funny.

knitted green garbage sack. ha.
ooh, how could i have forgotten this?

my jeopardy audition yesterday. most people there were just garden variety frumpy. i gave just about all of them a break because most of them looked to be over 50, and you know, when i'm old i am NOT going to care about this stuff. and the people who were younger looked ok, mostly wearing really conservative suits (the guys) or dressed like librarian (the girls, most of whom were librarians unfortunately none of them cute lesbians)

but one guy. oh, god. either a med student or some kind of medical research or biology grad student, probably under thirty-five, but with the air of a 70 year old. holy crap. he looked like a live action version of the nerdy scientist on The Simpsons. a pallor like he hadn't left his mother's basement since his first day of junior high.

thick cokebottle glasses (forgivable, but keep reading)

dress pants circa 1988 (he totally wore these same pants to his prom)


A novelty tie with an E=MCsquared theme!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Orthopedic Shoes.

he did not have a pocket protector, but i bet one of his slightly more stylish female grad student friends stole it out of his lab coat thursday so he couldn't possibly wear it. his shirt pocket did have like 3 pens in it.

i have some pretty cool friends who are teachers. i will ask them about it.
blanche, i have noticed fashion sense going out the window with teaching degrees. like my science teacher who wore skirts up to her armpits, and then just frumpiness everywhere.

i have to say, though, i don't even bother considering the awful hawaiian shirts all the male teachers at my old highschool wear fridays COFs. because friday is hawaiian shirt day. also know as 'find the ugliest hawaiian shirt at the thrift store' day. i usually try and visit my old school on fridays for the nostalgia of it
Ah, the fashion sense, or lack thereof, of teachers and professors!

I'm sure I've posted the story of my dad's favorite pair of pants, that just happened to be a nifty green and yellow plaid...
*ahem* will say, my mummy is a teacher and she's got a fabulous sense of style. Not in the high-heels/skirts sort of sense, but she's always adorable. She's short and honestly looks like a little Englishman in her trendy pants and maryjanes and clunky accessories.

I had a law prof once who actually and whole-heartedly embraced the tweed-jacket-with-leather-elbow-patches and corduroy pants ensemble. In fact, he was so old he probably started it.
sorry to just jump in with complete disregard to the conversation, but I just saw this and the first thing I thought was how I just HAD to share it with you guys...
So there was a woman in her 40s in overalls (I won't even go there) who I walked past outside while it was moderately raining. Stupid me--I forgot my umbrella and so did she. But I proudly got wet while she wore a mop on her head. YES. A MOP. ON HER HEAD. She held the handle in her hand and brushed the noodle parts aside so you could see her face. It was amazing.
There's a woman who works in the same building as me, for one of our sister companies. She's short, petite, has a sort of awkward face, big thick glasses. She has this really bad mullet-y haricut and as if that wasn't bad enough, over the weekend, she got it permed. She looked like an Irish Water Spaniel!
I just walked past a girl doing the whole cowboy boots over super-tight jeans thing, with belt over her sweater. Sweater. Ok, you know those silly costumes favored by those attempting to portray male flamenco dancers? with layers upon layers of fabric comprising ruffly sleeves? often accompanied by maracas? Yeah, that was her sweater.

I laughed a little inside, and then I cried, because someone designed, manufactured, and sold that sweater. And she bought it and saw fit to wear it. I wish I had taken a picture.
oh. god. that is dreadful luci.
She mullets and flamenco sweaters, heehee, I needed that!:-)
Luci, you just made my day. Hee.
I now know why the camera phone was invented. I have been surreptitiously snapping horrors for my own amusement. Yesterday on a forty odd year old woman: knee length, uneven (I think they call it handkerchief?)/unfinished hem lilac/pink/white dip-dyed tulle skirt. The oh so two years ago kitten heel flipflops that she couldn't keep her feet in that made her ankles wobble awkwardly. They had a cluster of purple peonie (They were puffy & syntethic.) like things on the tops. WHITE marching band style (Looked like she & the guy from the Strokes shopped at the same uniform store.) jacket. A layer of one lilac t shirt, two tanks, white & pink. Topping it off, her hair in two high ponytails on either side of her head, stuffed with; get this: two purle chopsticks each. She was forty-two if she was a day, but dressed like an angry four year old going to her first day of preschool that refused to let mommy/daddy/nanny dress her.
AP, you gonna start a photoblog or some such so we can witness the horrors? though i do have to say, i can picture that outfit without a visual aid, and it truly is terrifying
Ap: you're kidding, right? Please tell me you're kidding...

Camo on a poodle. 'Nuff said.
angry *snort* four year old *hysterics*! ooh, special.

share girl, pass those eyesores around!
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